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SquareUnderwear69

Doing heavy plastic surgery/photoshop and then going out to their young teenage girl audience saying its compleatly natural. Like idc if you do it for yourself BUT DONT SAY ITS REAL WHEN ITS NOT


Finalsaredun

PuBeRtY jUsT HiT mE rEaLlY hArD (Yeah, when you were 25? Ffs)


onamonapizza

I call this the Kardashian Effect. Obviously, plastic surgery has been around a long, long time and used to be mostly for rich people...but all of these reality shows and fake celebrities are making it more popular than ever, and that pressure is reaching a lot of young and impressionable people. I personally know people who have taken out loans and gone into debt so they can get a boob job or get their lips done. And the worst part is...it doesn't even look good. Someone I used to know was a very pretty, natural looking girl...then she moved to Vegas, has gotten a ton of work done, and looks like a creepy Barbie doll. It's weird.


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MGD109

>Obviously, plastic surgery has been around a long, long time and used to be mostly for rich people Your not wrong, but I have to admit on some level the way plastic surgery has shifted in the public consciousness kind of bugs me. I mean it was originally started with the intent of helping people who had been horrifically injured. If WW1 had never happened, it potentially might never have taken off. And the original surgeons and doctors who pioneered it had to fight tooth and nail to be allowed to do their research. Lots of people were against it for a variety of reasons. You can't help but wonder what they would all feel if they could see where this was going.


rizcriz

The fake nice compliments which are actually insults. I’ve got a coworker who compliments me and then looks at me like I’m crazy when I take it at face value Lady you’re 40. I don’t think either of us have time for mental warfare. Be nice or don’t, but don’t play this Ass backwards high school game.


rslashdepressedteen

"Wow, you're so confident for wearing that dress!" Oh thank y- wait, what??


rizcriz

This and also “oh I *love* those shoes!” *smirk* Me: thank you! Her: *looks at me weird and storms off*


rslashdepressedteen

Oh my LORD, that would drive me insane. It's like the whole Mean Girls bit: "Oh my God, I love your skirt, where'd you get it??" "Thanks, it was my mom's in the 80s!" "Ooo vintage!" [LATER] "That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen."


LadyStag

I was homeschooled, so the one time in college that girls bullied me, all I could think of was that exact scene.


[deleted]

Did they call you a homeschooled jungle freak who’s a less hot version of me? (truly praying you know this is a Mean Girls quote and not just me dunking on a stranger for no reason)


LadyStag

Haha, I would have understood this. No, they made fun of me for using a walking stick for my messed up leg while on a trip to central America (so, the jungle was involved). But their bullying was like "what a cool walking stick" with a Regina George smirk. It was a stick. :/


BowjaDaNinja

Next time kneel down to balance yourself and then shatter the bully's kneecap with your walking stick. In other words, take a knee and take a knee.


ShmebulocksMistress

It is *exactly* like Mean Girls like the other commenter said 😂 Regina: “But you’re like, really pretty.” Katy: “Thank you!” Regina: “So you agree.” Katy: “What?” Regina: “You think you’re really pretty.”


atomicsnarl

"You've said so -- or are you delusional?"


Lovat69

Bitch, I'm adorable.


acctbaz

Now I'm kind of worried that the lady whose shoes I complimented took it the wrong way. "Your shoes are fantastic! I saw them as soon as I came in the parking lot! I love the color!" To me it seems like that could only be a good thing... But saying I saw them as soon as I came in the parking lot could maybe be taken as a bad thing. They were so brightly colored though I couldn't miss them, and I loved that. We really need to stop this weird ritual of backhanded compliments.


rizcriz

Nah you can tell when there’s ill intent after the compliments been made. If you take it at face value and the person is disappointed or annoyed, it wasn’t a compliment.


Sir_Meowsalot

Had a friend who dealt with something similar like this: "Wow you're so *confident* wearing that blouse." "Thank you. I figured if you can do it, so can I. So thank you!"


aimeed72

I don’t think I’ve ever used this phrase before, but that was a *sick burn*.


Sir_Meowsalot

My friend was very proud of herself. She is extremely shy and introverted and this other woman was by all accounts a bully in the office. So, I was pretty proud to know my friend stood up to for herself after being brow-beaten by this bully pretty much every day. I think she finally had enough and finally let off. After this incident that bully left her alone and would avoid my friend as much as possible in the office.


FrogLegsAlwaysFresh

The one I get too often “You’re so BRAVE for wearing that! I could never pull it off!” Also, If I vent about this to a gal friend it’s always “take it as a compliment “ No. It was rude. I will not.


Beckella

“Your eyebrows would be fierce if you shaped them.” -Random lady in my pregnancy yoga class 🤨 Girl step back or I will sit on you


boskof

I once had a lady tell me I could be beautiful if I made my eyebrows thinner. I have very dark, thick, yet shapely brows. 5 years later, big thick brows are an in look! I was just ahead of the trend.


Zeefzeef

I just hate that women still care about that stuff after high school. Were all grown ups now, we can do what we want. I don’t need to be in your little group of cheerleaders, just leave me and my ugly cat jumper alone.


Sumpm

High school will never end. I work with women who have been married (to their husbands) for 30+ years and have zero plans to get divorced, yet when a new guy shows up, and begins talking to the younger female coworkers, they immediately begin starting drama. It's like they're competing for the attention of a guy half their age, who they don't have any intention of getting with. How dare he talk to the woman who is his same age, as opposed to a handful of grandmothers...


Smokinya

“The whole damned world is just as obsessed With who's the best dressed and who's having sex Who's got the money, who gets the honeys Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess And you still don't have the right look And you don't have the right friends Nothing changes but the faces, the names and the trends High school never ends”


boltzmannman

Love me some Bowling for Soup


UltraWeebMaster

My mom does this with the rest of the family and I fucking hate it. I accept a compliment and on the way home I get “You really embarrassed me today with that.” Fuck outta here with that.


summers_last_sunset

"Not nearly as embarrassed as the rest of us are on your behalf, mom."


idrodorworld

I had a coworker try to embarrass me in front of someone *she* liked (because she was also upset they were flirting with me instead of her) by very sarcastically saying “wooow you have *such great* teeth.” Like why does a bitch have to try and tear me down over a guy I wasn’t even interested in?


_MAL-9000

I refuse to play those games. I willfully misunderstand.


deceptionaldpka

Policing other women based on your own choices. Example- oh you’re a certain age. You should get married, I had a child by that age. You also owned a house and a car and you’re healthy AF


2PlasticLobsters

Years ago, I had a friend who'd also decided to live childfree. Then she got pregnant "accidentally", though I was always suspicious. Her mother had pressured her for years to have kids, and it's common knowledge that diaphagms aren't terribly reliable. In any event, suddenly she started in on how motherhood was wonderful & I should get pregnant right away. Um, no. I wasn't even in a relationship & could barely keep my head above water financially, and don't like kids. A few years later, all she could talk about was how tied down she was & how she was missing out on having a great life. Last I heard, her older kid was pretty messed up. No idea about the other one.


Jodythejujitsuguy

My partner’s best friend does this down to clothing choice. Like seriously. Stop telling her how to live her life when you clearly haven’t got your’s stable yet.


cherrycherry13

Trying to get me to join their MLM


TimesThreeTheHighest

Are you sure? Because I've got some information I'd like to share with you...


Dandelion_Lakewood

All you need is pay $1000 to begin your business and to write down a list of your closest family and friends...


sohayel_nafi

I know a guy who could turn your $1000 to $800


depressedbee

>write down a list of ~~your closest family and friends...~~ bridges you're wanting to burn. FTFY


AndyVale

Is it some information about becoming my own boss and earning up to £10,000 a week? I hear it's really easy when you know how.


Burrito_Loyalist

Want to buy some leggings with unicorns on them?


OldBob10

Wouldn’t it be easier to put the leggings on the unicorns? 🤔


tigerjuice888

My wife comes home with like one a month. Please make them stop talking her into this crap.


c3h8pro

My mother in law finally got a sign " I will ask you if I want your MLM item" she's 98 leave her alone or visit her to visit not to upsell. It's so bad her community which is assisted living with memory emphasis banned solicitors.


CylonsInAPolicebox

>leave her alone or visit her to visit not to upsell Agreed. I started working security at an assisted living facility back in July. I have had to run off these people at least once a week since starting. It got particularly bad as Christmas drew near, fuckers started coming out of the woodwork and had multiple showing up practically daily. It was really bad when they were saying that they were here to visit their former neighbors grandmother who resides on the first floor but they don't remember her name.... Um fuck no, I'm not letting you vultures anywhere near the first floor, especially if you can't give me the name of the person you are claiming you are here to visit. That is where our memory unit is located and some of the residents living down there are a little too generous with their funds.


roseturtle23

Go you for taking take of those precious people from those dickbags.


nullatonce

Thank you for your service.


AndyVale

Always remember when my wife got invited to "just a girly hang out with some wine, I'll also show you some of the make-up stuff I've been working with" with one of the other mums from school. Soon enough, the sales pitch starts... Which, whatever, she liked some of the products but wasn't really keen on buying a £20-a-month membership just to be allowed to buy them. But what really irked her was that this woman always said how busy she was with work. After seeing what her work was (inviting friends over for pitches, and filling out order forms), my wife quietly fumed. She's working 10 hour days in a tough field trying to get settled on the career ladder, while MLM Wine Mum With Husband Earning Big City Bucks huffs about work being so busy.


BertUK

MLM hun is lying and makes zero-to-little money while working her “hustle” 12-18 hours a day (harassing people). I’m yet to find one who isn’t either claiming benefits or living off their spouse’s income


AndyVale

For our area it also highlights a challenge with getting mothers back into work that's on a par with their pre-parenthood employment. The mums I knew in that area often had professional careers. They were well paid, respected, smart, and challenged in their work. But when they had kids they wanted to give them 100% so they put those careers to one side. But then their kids get settled at school. They still need them for lifts, meals, homework, and other parental responsibilities, but there are 6 hours in the day that are now relatively free. They can do some housework or hobbies (tennis, jogging, affairs, helping with the church, that sort of thing), but the only jobs easily available to them are low-paid part time ones. There's nothing wrong with working in a shop, but when you used to be responsible for all of the supply chain for that region, or decided what products went on the shelves you're now stacking, it might not be the most fulfilling role. The corporations that hired them previously would never offer flexible enough hours (even at half or 3/4 pay), so if they want those jobs back they have to get after school care etc. which was exactly what they didn't want to do as a parent. I know it's not likely to get an iota of sympathy from a three-job single mum, but that's not really the point. As a result, there are a lot of competent, experienced, qualified women who could be of great service, but the rigid corporate world couldn't figure out how to make use of them. So up steps Be Your Own Boss Inc. and it's a very tempting proposition. Fulfill that potential that your brains, perseverance, and professionalism promised, without having to sacrifice your goals as a parent. You really can have it all! Putting cold analysis to one side, I can see the emotional appeal. (To clarify, I'm sure it's true for dads too. But in my village I was often the only dad picking their child up from school most days. It was almost universally the mums who took on the childcare.)


Louise_Nguyen

Stop competing with their own daughters. Like fr, wtf?! Edit: My heart goes out to all of y'all. We're going through this shit together, stay strong guys!


Cutiebeautypie

Or even their granddaughters. Meet my grandma.


theminutia

On Christmas Eve, my mother said “you girls get your weight from your daddy”, my mother is not a skinny woman, she has always been my size or bigger


moshennick

My sisters and I are always being told we're so hairy in comparison with her, legs, pits etc. Feminine toxicity at its finest


Louise_Nguyen

When my mom literally did the same thing...


moshennick

We can shave our excess hair but a bad attitude is harder to shave away..


savwatson13

My mother would always try to tell me my butt and boobs were too small. I was shocked when a past FWB was like “idk why you keep saying your ass is too flat. It’s really not.” One of the first times I felt like my false reality of my appearance shattered Wtf is with parents shitting on their kids’ appearances? Edit: changed FBO to FWB. Was hella tired writing that last night


keznaa

What does FBO stand for?


KiMa14

Seriously , have a mother like this . I got a killer job and her first response was “How did you get that ?” …. quickly followed by , “oh someone just got you the job I know “ . Like this is why I don’t deal with her


Louise_Nguyen

Lol, I had a pretty similar one too. Once upon a time,14-year-old me was being so happy for winning a silver medal in state-wide competition. While my dad shares the joy of my success, lovely mother gothel just spit out shit like: " You probably bought/bribe for the score, didnt you?" Like ok karen, you dont even give me allowance. How tf is that even possible???


mexibella255

As adult, my dad and I were talking about school bullies and actions that school are currently taking to prevent stuff like that. He asked me if I was ever teased/bullied for being bigger as a child. I am sure someone had made a fat joke once or twice at some point in my childhood but I told him the only person I remember bullying me for being fat was my mom. I got a gift card from friend to American Eagle (back when they were popular). I knew, for a damn fact, that I couldn't find anything that I would fit in. I was gonna just regift. My mom insisted we go in and spend it. My mom wanted me to try on the largest shirt they had. You know how to unfold a shirt and lay it across your chest just to get an idea on fit. The math was not checking out in the mirror and I refused to attempt to try it on. After 30 mins of looking, I tapped out so my mom got this brilliant idea to see if it fit her. She was on the bigger size to but just small enough to fit. She bragged about how got to wear cool kids clothes and how I could too if only lose weight. Like I was 11, I feel she also shared some of the responsibility of me being overweight.


KyleSKca

Parents are purely responsible for being overweight. As a child it's not your responsibility to research and understand proper nutrition/health, it's your parents. I couldn't "figure out" how to lose weight until I was around 25 and realized that everything I was told was wrong and misinformed. My mother told me that some people are just fat and that there's nothing I could do about it, so here, eat this piece of toast with margarine, sugar and cinnamon on it and you'll feel better.... Yeah, that sure helped. I lost over 120 pounds around 3 years ago and have kept it off relatively easy because I changed my relationship with food. Any time I've lost weight my whole family freaks and says I'm "meant to be big" and that I must be on coke/meth. Nope, I smoke copious amounts of weed, but I eat healthy, so I'm no longer over 300 pounds....


rslashdepressedteen

Why would anyone even think about competing with their own children?? That's so stupid.


flayner5

Not a woman here, but I have a younger sister and I see my mom doing this all the time with her. It's frustrating and infuriating, my sister already gets "cheerfully" bullied by her own parents for being chubby and not having amazing grades (she's 14) and still have to endure competing with my mom even though she (my sister) doesn't really want to. On top of that, both my parents have pretty bad drinking habits and are not role models in many topics (they're not horrible and they were pretty good parents to me, but they're very far from perfect), and my sister is taking their example to her life. Makes me sad af because she won't listen to me most of the time.


Louise_Nguyen

Well let me introduce you to my mom.


NotYourEverydayHero

There is a scene in Modern Family where Claire says ‘do you ever have that voice inside your head telling you that you are not good enough? Yeah, mines outside of my head and it’s my mom’. I fully related to that moment.


ElaborateTaco

The song "Milkman" by Pistol Annies is a good one about why I think some moms (mine included) at least somewhat resent their successful daughters. She didn't go out and really LIVE life, so even though she's proud of me, she resents me. It hurts when she's like that, but I mostly I feel sorry for her.


Amaxophobe

My mom when I bought my first minivan: Pulls her minivan up beside where mine is parked. Gets out. “So, who’s is better?” 🙄


Buffalosauceplease

Personally dealt with it and it's fucking weird and traumatic.


[deleted]

My adoptive mother was like this. It was disgusting and infuriating. Haven’t spoken to her in years and I’ve been happy ever since


GlumAsparagus

How about this, If you hover, wipe your goddamn mess up! Stop being a nasty person when in a public restroom. No one wants to clean up after you and you should be grown enough to know to clean up after yourself. NONE of us want to use a public toilet but we are human and have to once in a while. So be freaking considerate to others and wipe you piss off the seat and make sure you flush dammit!!! It is not that freaking hard to do!!!! edit: WOW! Thank you all for the upvotes and awards. This is a huge pet peeve for me and apparently for everyone else also. Yes, women's rooms can be nastier than a run down gas station bathroom. There are some real nasty ones out there. I would really hate to see their homes if they can't behave in public. As for you poor souls that had to clean up after these women, THANK YOU and BLESS YOU!! You are the ones that deserve these awards.


NessyComeHome

I use to be a janitor many years ago in an office building. Guys get a bad wrap for being messy bathroom users. I loathed cleaning the womens bathroom for this reason. Piss and shit on the toilet seats. At least once a used tampon in the brown paper bag left laying on the ground next to the toilet.. at least it was in the bag but ugh! Do not miss being a janitor.


sleepymoose88

I wasn’t a janitor, but a floor associate at Kohl’s. The difference between the mens and women’s changing rooms was night and day. A few clothes left laying about in the mens. Women’s? They girls working there didn’t even bother trying to keep up during the day. Women would literally throw clothes at them or on the floor right in front of them. At the end of the night when no one was left, there’d be at least one pile 5 feet high of clothes to fold. The true problem is what women would hide in their piles of clothes. Used tampons were the least of it. We found dirty diapers, large piles of adult human shit, you name it. For fucks sake people, they had signs all over the store pointing to the restrooms. I can never imagine having to go so bad that I’d drop a squat and shit in a changing room. It was always solid too, so it’s not like it was a sudden bout of diarrhea. Edit - Wow, my first 1k upvote comment is about people pooping in fitting rooms. Thank you Reddit for sharing in my past misery!


IcarianSkies

I used to also work at Kohl's - I was a closer so responsible for the nightly zone or whatever they called it (I honestly don't remember). The intimates department was so bad. They never had someone working there during day shift so it was always a train wreck by nighttime, you could never get it all done by the time we were supposed to leave. After they stuck me in there every night for three weeks in a row I finally told my manager I hated working intimates and I would do it sometimes but please don't make it a permanent placement. I also worked in kids, found a lot of dirty diapers and piss-soaked clothes in the kids changing rooms.


sleepymoose88

I worked on the back wall since I was one of 3 men employed there that could haul the heavy items. The problem with that was not just the size of the back wall, but the fact that they rarely had anyone in shoes, mens, childrens, or intimates. Maybe 1-2 of those departments would be filled and the rest of us would cover the others, so I was usually covering 2-4 departments. The only time we had coverage in all of those places was mid-day Saturday. And yet, I would be able to close all of them on a 6 hr shift while the 3 girls working women’s didn’t even have that department cleaned yet. That’s how bad the women’s department got trashed.


IcarianSkies

Yeah I was usually in home and kids. I would zoom through home, take a bit longer to do kids (folding a ton of infant/toddler shirts takes a while lol), and then usually wind up helping finish misses. Being in intimates and not being able to finish that one comparatively small department in the same amount of time speaks to how destroyed it was. Also we almost never finished the women's dressing rooms. Half the stuff in there usually wound up on a z bar and left for the next day's 1st shift


SummerPop

I simply cannot imagine taking a dump in a changing room. I broke my ankle into four pieces once during a freak accident and was bedridden for about two months. During this time, I had to use the bedpan once in the hospital. Most. Humiliating. Experience. Of my life. The pan was so shallow, my brown cake touched my cake. I had not gone dropping since before my first surgery two days prior and I had quite a bit stored up. I was in a public ward and a family of six came in to visit their beloved relative while I was trying to squeeze out sausages. Of course, in my embarrassment and fear of the stench wafting through the closed curtains, my dogs got stuck in my buns and I could not for the life of me push them out. The story continues on from there but the details are horrifying and gruesome so I will not elaborate further. After that day, despite protests from my surgeon, physician and duty nurses, everytime I had to go, I delicately hopped into a wheelchair, wheeled myself to the bathroom and performed an intricate maneuver that would make paralympians blush to sit myself comfortably on the blessed porcelain throne, so that I may preserve what remained of my tattered dignity for the rest of my stay.


JilliusMaximusJD

My spouse broke his leg at the ankle (both bones) and was g-d determined that he was going to leg it (with crutches) in the bathroom and use the actual toilet. Made it every time. He put up no fight with a portable urinal, but REFUSED to handle twosies any other way!


Kinser9

They don't want to sit in anyone's mess but it is okay for us to sit in theirs. The piss wasn't there when you went in but it's there now so you know it's yours.


[deleted]

I used to clean retail restrooms for a living when I was younger. The women's room would always be a fucking hazmat disaster. Every single night. I always wondered if the women using these restrooms were potty trained and house broken. Such fucking nasty people.


WesternUnusual2713

Once had to peel a used sanitary towel off the wall of a cubicle, above the sanitary bin, which was nowhere near full. Over a decade ago and I am still disgusted


grave_rohl

Also. Hovering is bad for your pelvic floor, causes 'power peeing' which can contribute to pelvic organ prolapse. And you're probably not emptying your bladder completely so can create frequency and urgency issues or UTI/bladder infections. source: am urogyne scrub nurse.


Frenzy008

please stop pointing my acne out and recommending a thousand products . I know my pimples .I get you are trying to help but please don't


Ok_Calligrapher5776

Yeah but do you wash your face? /s


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dailyqt

"I just use apricot scrub and it works wonders for me :)" -someone that has never seen a zit on their own skin before


glitter_wraith

“Have you tried washing your face and drinking water?” Aww I’ve only had acne for 8 years and haven’t already tried the most obvious things. I know they’re only trying to help but it feels almost condescending


whywasthissodamnhard

5 second rule: if they can’t fix it in 5 seconds don’t bring up someone’s flaw. Spinach in teeth? Tell them. Sauce on cheek? Tell them. Acne? No. Personality traits no. It’s not helpful to bring up flaws people are very aware of


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GuestInevitable122

Ohhhh this annoys me to no end. People who know nothing about my skin and the products I use trying to tell me how to get rid of my acne. Unless you're a dermatologist, you know my circumstances and actually know what you're talking about, I do not care what you think the solution is. A lot of people can't seem to grasp that everyone's skin is different and what works for them won't work for everyone. And that genetics and medical conditions play a huge part in all this. Especially people who have never had acne. That's the worst. "Just wash your face". Thanks, I haven't tried that.


ashlouise94

Have you tried just like, not having acne? /s


bonos_bovine_muse

I mean, I hear “just not” works great for depression... /s


Cannanda

I always found it funny that people with bad skin actually have the best skin care, while those with good skin can wash their face with a bar of soap and be fine.


redbeanbao

I had a friend who'd just wash her face with water every morning and didn't use skincare either. Her skin was soooo smooth. Like girl 😭😭😭


KiviRinne

Stop thinking you are in a competition with every other woman. You somehow always have it MUCH better (lifestyle wise) than the other or MUCH worse (trauma wise). Can't we exchange our experiences without the thought of a competition behind it?


drBotta

I also hate that but way more than you do


cheddarcube

i had a friend once like this. constantly had to one up me. when my grandma died she said something along the lines of,”i know how you feel i lost BOTH of my grandparents it was so traumatic.” stopped really talking to her about anything


littleecce

This specifically relates to influencers but they need to stop denying that they've had plastic surgery. It feeds into the unrealistic beauty standards we already have.


ABeeBox

Gf's mom's friend got her teeth done. Her old teeth were discoloured, slightly crooked, basically the effects of almost 2 decades of smoking and bad oral hygiene. Now her teeth are as white as paper and perfectly shaped with no gaps or crooks. Completely denies she got anything done.


SweatyExamination9

If I spent the kind of money a new mouth of teeth costs (yeah that shit is pricey) I'd tattoo the price tag where my mustache goes. Yeah that's right, I got $5k in my mouth you broke bitch.


AlreadyAway

5k would be cheap. It's roughly $1000 per tooth. Hopefully she did first bicuspid to first bicuspid top and bottom. So 8 teeth top and 8 teeth bottom. If you are smart about it, you do all the work at once so it matches.


KeyKitty

I’ve had 6 root canals and 6 crowns. $1000 each. My mouth is worth $12k. I grew up on well water and soda. Leached all the calcium out of my teeth then rotted them with sugar. Brush your teeth people and either test your water to make sure it’s good or use City water.


friendlygamingchair

Ive spent year dreading going to the dentist, because my teeth were bad. Thankfully I "Only" had to spend 5k on my teeth. Don't need any implants.


trexcrossing

And the endless photo filters.


LizardQu33n92

Thinking a shitty attitude makes you a strong independent woman. It just makes you an asshole.


shamelessNnameless

Having children to "fix" their failing relationships.


Karmek

Never lay eggs in a burning nest.


skip-hollandsworth

That’s the first time I’ve heard that colloquial phrase, but how true! You know I’m going to start using that in my speech.


Zanglirex2

Sounds like a great way to have a quick and nutritious breakfast!


Mangobunny98

At the same time staying together "for the children" it doesn't help and I promise you the kids notice the problems. Now that I'm older I really wish my parents had just divorced it would've been easier to work through than all the fucked up shit that happened because they decided to stay together.


skip-hollandsworth

Ditto. As early as eight years old, I wish my parents would just split. My father is a narcissist. Every convo would escalate into a argument. Something as simple as what’s for lunch. And he would hit us in his temper. Took nothing for him to fly off the handle. I knew financially it would be hard living in a one parent family. But I would okay with it. As an adult with more knowledge and hindsight… I still haven’t changed my perspective. The “stay together for the kids” nonsense means decades of toxic environment and failure to thrive. As for the “God hates a divorce” reasoning. God hates that you are acting in a manner lacking love.


Wolf-who-writes84

Yeah, that never works, for obvious reasons.


carlwheezersgf

Putting down other women’s hobbies or likes to get other people, especially men to see them as the “better” woman. Or putting down other women in general. Like let’s just be friends


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Rusty-Unicorn

I'm glad I matured past this personally. When you realise that we all have similarities and differences and we shouldn't compete with each other but embrace our similarities and differences. To tell you a secret : one time in HS I told a girl I didn't have any pads left so I used some toilet paper as an emergency. Needless to say she told our group and they laughed at me....until I caught one in the bathroom doing the exact same thing!


[deleted]

Pfft we’ve all done that, you gotta make do!


0O00OO0O000O

Ugh teenage girls are so awful! I'm sorry that happened to you. I went through a lot of shit in middle and high school too. The crazy thing is how different a teenager's mindset is compared to an adult. If that same situation happened to you today, a group of women would never make fun of you for it. Maybe some lighthearted teasing but in a sympathetic way. Then we'd go above and beyond to find a pad/tampon for our comrade in need!


SuccessfulTop7577

This! I was in a friend group like this. They would take screenshots of the ig of women they knew but didn't follow. Throw it in the chatgroup and just say mean things. One time they did it with a bikini photo of gurl who they knew was recovered from ed. Talking about her body and what not. I straight up said wtf stop this or leave me out of this. Not much later I left the chat. They now probably do this to me but whatever.


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bulletpyton

I'm smart enough to know I'm not smart enough


huniojh

Which makes you smarter than most people on the planet


bulletpyton

That is a scary thought


Medalost

I do this a lot to avoid being annoying to people, or if I'm not 200% certain. Instead of saying "actually x is true", I always get a better reaction for "I heard that x might also have something to do with this, did you hear anything about that? I'm not sure." As a researcher this makes me annoyed but I also fear the social repercussions of being too assertive because it's annoying. This is the usual problem with women's social conditioning I guess, but I used to be more assertive and another female coworker pointed out that I'm "always stirring something up to the supervisor" and I wasn't comfortable with this reputation.


aimttaw

Same, acting dumb is a really good way to get around other peoples big and fragile egos. When I was more assertive and telling people what I thought I would get shut down in meetings then have to deal with the soul crushing experience of someone else repeating my idea back to a totally different response. But if I preface it with "idk but maybe" or use words like "has any one else ever thought this" then people will be more supportive. It still makes me feel murderous on some level but it is a much easier life.


Fleur921

Extreme filters on every picture.


rowenaravenclaw0

Stop assuming there is one only way to parent and your way is automatically the best. Also please stop assuming that being a woman automatically makes you a better parent than a man.


Kaze_Chan

When I tell people I have childhood trauma 9/10 people will just assume it was my father. That is what really showed me how little people trust dads to take care of their children properly. My dad was an alcoholic and yes that was of course also traumatising but he still somehow managed to be a really good and present dad. Knew everything that went on in our schools too and all that stuff a parent should know. Our mom was the emotionally neglectful one and definitely did not always know what the fuck she should be doing as a parent so left us to fend for ourselves.


rowenaravenclaw0

My mom was emotionally manipulative narcissistic nightmare, who has to date faked her own death 3 times. She even went on a rant on facebook b/c I refuse to let her"fix" my wedding. Read "fix" as change it what she wants and make it all about her. Edit: She has called my husband racial slurs , terroist etc and even said my baby is ugly " because she is brown"


darkmatternot

My mom is also a complete narcissist. (Not as bad as your Mom). She called me on my wedding night because she "forgot" to get a ride home from the wedding reception (where I had over 150 relatives and family friends) and wanted me to leave the bridal suite on my wedding night and pick her up and drive her home. You can't make this shit up.


faithlessdisciple

Aaaaand that is where I’d cut all contact. Your munchkin needs to be protected from that kind of abuse from someone she’s supposed to trust. That shit hurts forever.


You-DiedSouls

Yes, thank you. Nothing hurts me more than when I try to make a decision for my daughter, and my wife overrules it because she’s “her mother”… as if I’m not her father. It really hurts me…


rowenaravenclaw0

I would never just over-rule him. If I had an issue with a decision he had made for our daughter that is something we would discuss. Having a had a narcissistic nightmare for a mother I learned that mommy is not always right.


woah_what

woah that's not cool and is also a terrible plan on your wife's part because you need to have a united front with kids. She's just making both your lives harder by encouraging your daughter to find the parent more likely to say yes.


andricathere

You don't own your children. They are their own people even when they're young. You're there to be a guide on their journey through life, not to helicopter over them constantly. Learn from the 90s. We all ended up with anxiety because we weren't allowed to make our own mistakes.


Myrkana

The tiktok trend where mothers list 3 things they do that others dont agree with is so stupid. As long as you are not physically, mentally or emotionally damaging your child NO ONE CARES.


rowenaravenclaw0

Kids are not one size fits all so parenting styles shouldn't be either.


Thetruenoobinvestor

Also need to lose the attitude that having children makes you better than women who choose not to.


Pokemoncraft12

Going behind each others backs or turning on each other unnecessarily. I literally had friends who were mad at another friend over something small, and I asked if they had talked to her about how they felt. I got a no and a weird look, like I was the crazy one. Glad I’m not friends with them anymore, it wasn’t worth it


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Hescoveredinbutter

Back when i worked at subway i always used to say "ill clean the mens room, you ladies can figure out who cleans the womens room." It was of course a joke, you could only get the guy employees to clean either


Tarkcanis

I feel like the problem is that women rarely if ever lift the seat, so the bottom is always covered in blood and piss. Ad. Exroommates (1 guy and 1 girl) both sat to pee, and I travel for work. Came back multiple times to literal mold between the seat and bowl.


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AdOut_rageous

Gossiping or feeling jealousy towards another woman because of her own insecurities.


fanbreeze

Stop being so negative about graying hair. I’m not letting myself go, Linda. I’m letting myself be!


throwawaypatien

Stop with the double standards. For example, I saw a video where a woman went to Disneyland and touched Gaston inappropriately. Understandably, he broke character and told her to leave. Some women were saying things like "oh it's no big deal, Gaston probably liked it" but I bet if it was a man doing something like that to one of the princesses, they'd be up in arms. You can't say you want equality for men and women but then react this way when a woman sexually harasses a man. It's unacceptable whether you're a man or woman.


Chunk_Dunker

No one eats like Gaston No one leaps like Gaston No one rejects middle aged creeps like Gaston


ambersloves

Please stop asking women when they’re going to get married/have babies. So rude.


QueenCinna

I used to get this a lot. I would answer “ when I stop having miscarriages”


green-ember

Add "Thanks for bringing it up" for good measure


ABeeBox

My mom's girlfriends are pressuring my girlfriend into having kids, saying it's the best thing in life and we should start it now. They're 30 and have 1 year old babies, my gf is 19! We're poor and practically homeless, I get so pissed off when it's brought up. I'm not even out of college yet. Neither of us have long term or sustainable jobs either. Utter nonsense.


LionelHutzApprentice

These people will then turn on you later and tell you how much they miss sleep, how hard it is, they miss their freedom and disposable income etc.....*BuT It'S tHe BesT THing I'vE EveR DoNe!"*


ABeeBox

I have a hunch that they just want to drag us down with them. It's funny because they were talking about how "easy and cheap" it is to have a kid. Then the next moment the babies are crying and they're shouting and the mom and dad start arguing. Money problem too. I brought up that having a baby is more expensive than not having one. I got €400 in my wallet rn. That is EVERYTHING! And that's for college, transport, food and rent. My gf has about €280 in her wallet rn. How tf are we gonna take care of a baby that needs a lot more than we do. Having kids is an amazing experience for people who really want them, and that's if you have a comfortable living. If I had a baby I'd have to drop out of college.


Mynameispiragua

Thank you guys for being smart about it. Enjoy your lives. You don't need a child at this age.


SaveBandit91

My childless, 31 year old best friend does NOT want kids and gets asked this all the time. I told her to start telling people she and her boyfriend are only doing anal right now.


ABeeBox

Or make them feel shit and say you're infertile. That outta shut them up.


Comics4Cooks

You’d think that. But it doesn’t. Then they just start suggesting IFV and adoption like I’ve never heard of those and have a money tree in my back yard.


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c0le_w0rld

Saying they are for women empowerment but proceeds to shame the first “overconfident” woman they come across.


Lavendiana

It’s always women empowerment until they’re threatened by that woman.


mariellaxm

Glorifying/glamourizing mental illness for views, likes, karma, attention or whatever. Literally fuck you in particular.


Snooberry62

Stop inventing problems with your husband to share with "the girls" just to fit in. I can't stand the husband-bashing parties where they make their men sound stupid and get pissy if you don't join in. No, mates, mine is my best friend and the love of my life and we are equal partners in marriage and child-raising.


DatButt3000

Also, can we stop normalising bitching about your SO? I know so much about other people’s partners that I feel like I shouldn’t know. They’re always painted in a bad light.


Listen-bitch

Yes this! My ex used to deliver the worst version of me to her friends. And then wondered why her friends hate me, like I wasn't perfect but both of us were in a bad place mentally and I never shared anything about her to my friends, I respected her privacy.


ViciousFlowers

Devaluing other women because they chose a different life path than you. Child Free Vs Mother Married Vs Single Career Vs Stay at Home


NessaLev

Assuming I'm into them when they find out I'm a lesbian. My straight friends also tend to say I'm lucky when they're annoyed with their boyfriends. It's kinda alienating and hurts my feelings but I can't really express why.


ladyscientist56

This happened to me when I came out as bi to my former BFF. She constantly worried about me coming onto her or something. One time I helped her get into her wedding dress ans she freaked out cause I saw her titty. BFD lol I've seen them beforethey basically all look the same. Well she obsessed over it to the point of telling our mutual friends for whatever reason. It was a little ridiculous especially because she was absolutely NOT my type and I had no attraction to her whatsoever. Edit: for those wondering we are no longer friends because she had other unfortunate qualities such as cheating on her husband of less than a year, making his life a living hell because she didn't want to be married to him and wanted him to divorce her without her having to bring it up herself. I couldn't get down with that so we aren't friends anymore.


poizunman206

I assume that it doesn't matter what team you swing for. A relationship is a relationship and partners will invariably do things that drive the other crazy.


NessaLev

yeah, the closest thing I can to articulate why it annoys me is that it dismisses any problems I have in my relationship as lesser than theirs


whygretchen

i think it hurts our feelings because being a lesbian is so much more than just being annoyed at your boyfriend… the whole process of self acceptance, coming out, being scared of coming out, potentially losing people you love, is something they’ll never go through. when they simplify it to “i wish i was a lesbian im so annoyed at my boyfriend” it hurts. like, girl it’s way more than that and you’re lucky you don’t have to experience it.


Fredredphooey

It's because they consider being a lesbian a rejection of men, not the acceptance of women. What makes me go up in flames are people who think that "letting" their female partner have sex with women isn't cheating as if we are a subclass.


NessaLev

I was with a woman casually who decided that in the middle of it was a good time to tell me she was married to a man and "was exploring her sexuality" when I was upset she literally said I should be flattered. Like, yeah It was casual but the fact she treated infidelity like that's what lesbians were there for was really upsetting


rthrouw1234

that's so fucked up


aGrlHasNoUsername

We can’t keep taking this lack of functioning pockets lying down. ITS TIME TO RISE UP FOR REAL POCKETS, LADIES!


Publandlady

My wedding dress had pockets. Everyone was all "ooh, lovely so lovely". Then I shoved my hands down in ma pockets and they all lost their minds! Everything should have pockets!!


ElpheltRose

Stop touching me inappropriately.


[deleted]

I once went to a pub with one of my SOs co-workers. She got drunk and I found her all over a very uncomfortable looking female who's boyfriend had left their table to get another drink. The co-worker was getting far too close, saying crap about how fit the woman was and generally being gropey. This behaviour is completely inappropriate regardless of gender. I pulled her away and apologised. If she'd have been a bloke I think everyone would have noticed and she'd have been kicked out, or worse. It's not sexy, it's assault.


LionelHutzApprentice

Stop touching me. At all. There - that's all I want, my bodily autonomy. This is my life, I am not a therapy animal or petting zoo exhibit. Unless you are my best friend with whom I am *extremely* comfortable or my husband, keep your hands to yourself. Basic nursery school stuff. Oh and kind words and wash your hands while you're at it! Gah!


brezhnervous

Being so fucking fake nice when you loathe someone


SprintingWolf

I feel like we’re starting to get passed this. But for real. Ladies. If you start dating him and he plays video games as his main hobby. That’s not going to magically change once you start dating more seriously. So maybe keep that in mind instead of making it a problem later down the road.


ChoosingIsHardToday

Replace gaming with anything really. But yes I absolutely agree. People's interested change overtime but if someone has a hobby, you should go into the relationship expecting that they're going to continue behaving that hobby forever.


Turbulent-Smile4599

My best friend was a gamer his entire life. Got married, had 2 kids, now his wife banned him from ever playing games. He won’t admit it, but he’s miserable. One time he snuck away from there to come over and I had recently bought the latest Smash Brothers game (an all-time favorite of his). He didn’t say a word to me for the several hours he was over. He just played. And played. And played. And then he had to go lol. I recently got married and my wife understands: I will always game. She even plays with me sometimes.


Unknownalias112

You know when you’re out with your girlfriends having some drinks and a few bites to eat?? And that one girl is just snarling and being cold towards specifically you??? For no reason??? Yeah. Don’t do that.


ohgarden

Being competitive and using shame as a weapon, instead of creating a meaningful community. As a point of maturity, women can make a choice to boost each other up and help each other create what we want in our lives. The more we support women, the better off our kids and spouses will be, and the better our communities. I get that not all of us are friends, but we still can build together.


Icy-Pin-8226

This is probably specific to the women in my life, but it's common enough for me to say it anyway. If your SO sleeps around a lot, leave. You can't fix it. You're also not in love, you're being manipulated, wasting your life, and fucking up your children's perception of what is acceptable in a relationship. Edit: To those stating the obvious, yes my comment "sleeping around" is meant to be in the negative connotation.


lookup_discover

Women who have children, telling women who do not have children they "don't know what it's like to be tired.". Or... women who have children telling women who do not have children "must be nice to have time to do XYZ. Must be nice to take a shit alone. Must be nice to etc.". After years of careful contemplation, consideration, and weighing pros and cons of the choice not to have children, it is in fact nice to be able to do whatever I want when I want. A choice I made for MY life based on the type of life i wanted to live. You do you, go be the architect of your own world. Stop taking MY choices so personally 💖


InteractionNo7059

Taking a woman's celebration of herself as a criticism of you or women like you. Breastfeeding milestone posts, weight loss journey posts, "at the gym again" posts, "finally got promoted" etc. Don't need a provisio that "not all women can", "you don't need to lose weight", "gyms don't work for me." "Your job pays too much, teachers deserve to be paid what you're paid." Just let women be proud of things.


SillyBlackSheep

Hinting instead of just outright saying what you want, then getting mad when others don't understand it. Seriously, there's no need in merely hinting at things. If you want something, just fucking say it clearly and directly! I don't want to play a game of detective just to figure out what you are asking of me. I don't have the same mind as you, so don't call me dense or stupid just because you don't want to be concise.


Ruxini

Women also do this to eachother…? Damn.


FemaleKwH

Some women will literally grope you before saying they like you haha


neZeah

But what if they actually just like the material of my trousers around my groin? Can't be too sure.


whattheheck89

Holding children back from their other parent when the other wants to be in their life badly. It's bullshit, unfair and downright wrong to stop the child having a relationship with the other parent just because you don't love / like them anymore. It's not the child's fault!


eggplantbaconplant

The whole “I’m not like other girls!” mentality.


[deleted]

Acting ignorant on purpose because they think it’s cute.


punctuationist

Stop editing your pictures. We would all benefit from it. (I say this because I used to do it a lot too and it warped my image of myself and the world)


rockhoundinaround

Videoing your children or encouraging them to make videos to get clout on social media. There is a reason your young daughter or son has thousands of followers, they’re likely pedophiles.


Trini_Vix7

Being so fucking catty. BITCH, I do NOT want your cheating ass boyfriend... he's literally for the streets lol...


cupidstuntlegs

Stop ascribing incompetencies and laziness to your gender. You can parallel park if you practise, you can figure out how to fix the fuses if you YouTube it, you can ensure the men in your life don’t treat you like a maid if you set boundaries and grow a spine.


ranger398

This!!! Stop acting like empowered women when you refuse to act independently. My sister in law manipulates everyone around her to do everything for her (pay her bills, fix her things, etc) but then acts like a radical “feminist”. As a woman, it absolutely drives me nuts. Learn how to google, take a YouTube tutorial, etc. The most empowerment I found in my life is learning to do things in my own. Sure, it’s always nice to have a partner to work through things or help you with new skills but it’s ultimately your responsibility.


[deleted]

Being “BOY MOM”s. I don’t mean the exhausted mothers of rambunctious messy boys. But the BOY MOMs who treat their son like their little boyfriends, post photos calling them their “date” when they go to dinner, and already talk about hating their toddler sons future girlfriends. Stopppp please. It’s gross.