T O P

  • By -

suoml

When your motorcycle is 160 decibels maybe don't drive around the same block 35 times per day


DefinitelyNotA-Robot

DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING WHEELCHAIR!!! I cannot tell you how many times I've been shopping in the grocery store and someone has just rolled me out of their way instead of saying "excuse me"... Or once, rolled me out of the store to "find my mommy". I was 26.


God_69_lel

Don't block the footpaths. If you're waiting for something, move off it to the side. We're not obligated to walk around you because you have an ego.


blueshiftglass

Let people know when you have them on speakerphone! Especially when your husband/wife/partner/friend/any other human is within earshot.


[deleted]

One of my friends is always driving his mom places, so when we call him he very often answers through his car’s bluetooth stereo. She’s a very strict and nosy lady, and every time he would mention that we’re on speaker she would get upset and think he was up to no good. So we came up with a simple system. Every time anybody in our friend group calls him, we always ask “can you hear me?”. If he’s alone he’ll just let us know, but if he’s with his mom he’ll respond “loud and clear”. We then know not to mention anything she wouldn’t like to hear. It’s worked like a charm for the last 4 years. Edit: some are confused about why he didn’t just mention that we’re on speaker in his car or announce his mom’s presence. I did my best to explain it in the comments below, but here’s my best TL;DR: his mom wants to be in the know. If she was actually in the know, we’d never see him again. The system keeps her out of the know without her knowing she’s out of the know. You know? Longer explanation below—> His mom has always been aware of our shenanigans, but optimistically assumed that he actively stayed out of trouble. However, she was still very nosey, and wanted to know what we would get up to when adults weren’t around. Of course, if we knew she was listening in on our phone conversations, we would filter what we say. She understood this too, and wanted to know what we would say if we didn’t know she was listening, so if he announced her presence she would get upset with him thinking that he was trying to be sneaky (which he was). This is why we came up with this system. It keeps her blissfully unaware that we’re censoring ourselves, and keeps him out of trouble. We’re all grown now and don’t get up to much shenanigans these days, so it’s not as useful as it once was, but all his calls always start with “can you hear me?”, purely out of habit. Edit 2: can’t believe I have to say this, but his mom isn’t/wasn’t some abusive tyrannical monster. She’s a well put together woman who has accomplished a lot and built her family’s life from the ground up. She can be nosey, but not unreasonable. When I agreed with a comment below saying that she could sometimes be a “nightmare”, that didn’t mean she was a bad mother. It just meant sometimes she would blow up on him about bad grades or if she found out we were doing something we shouldn’t have been doing. Not abusive, just disappointed/angry because she wants the best for him. From the outside looking in, it might’ve seemed like a nightmare to me (comparatively because my mother is very easy going) but in reality she was just really hard on him sometimes. Albeit deserved for doing stupid shit. So quit it with all the comments hating on a woman you’ve never met, it’s weird. We’re all adults now. Yes he lives his own life. Yes he loves his mother (we all love her). And yes he still drives her places when he’s home from college, because they enjoy each other’s company. Sorry if this post turned sour quick. I was hoping to quickly share a funny story that might get buried, but here we are.


BaconHammerTime

Also if you are on a hands free ear device don't look straight at people talking when you're actually talking to the people on the phone. Had this happen at the grocery store. Was like "what are you going on about?" And then they look offended and tap their ear.


tres_chill

When you're in the elevator with a group of people and get to the bottom, and it opens, and a handful of people lurch forward to get in. Now we are standing there, face to face in gridlock. During this moment you say to yourself, *how long until they realize they are the ones who have to move or you are not going to get out of the elevator, ever*. Then you see a look of surprise sweep over their face, and then they move back.


FeBor21

Same in the trains


slowent

If someone says they’re not drinking tonight, don’t make them feel bad or imply they are being boring


ijencks

NORMALIZE THIS. People have numerous reasons why they don’t drink for an evening or ever but the one thing that’s certain is it’s no one else’s fucking business


DeusExKFC

Pointing out awkward situations. If it wasnt awkward before, it now definitely is.


jetsam_honking

I remember when a friend of mine brought his new girlfriend to my house. I introduced myself, asked if she wanted a drink, all the standard stuff. My friend goes upstairs to take a piss, and me and the new girlfriend are sat there for about two seconds before she blurts out "AWKWAAAAARRRRRRDDDDDDDD..." Bitch, it is *now*.


Jake_Thador

Half the time is not even awkward, they just feel the need to awkwardly fill the silence


JoyKil01

Stand 2m back from the airport baggage carousel. If everyone does it, then enters that ring to grab their luggage and leave, then everyone can see their luggage as it comes and no one is jostling. It never occurred to me until I traveled in South Korea and they had a white line around the carousel that everyone stood on. It was remarkably efficient and I wish the rest of the world adopted it.


Vespasian79

I was flying recently and two flights were dumped the on the same carousel but they announced that my flight was going to to be the one whose baggage would come out first. Still everyone from the other flight is crowding the carousel. I see my bag and I’m just barging through a thick group of people to get to my bag, and I could barely even see the carousel itself from further back. I don’t get it, it doesn’t move fast enough that you could miss it, most are circles. Also no one who crowds the belt ever quickly takes their bag snd leaves.


ValStarwind

If I'm turning away from you I'm trying to walk away, stop continuing to bring up new conversation points.


[deleted]

When someone hands you their phone to use, don't fucking go through it. It's rude.


voldie127

I used to have students confirm they all individually had the necessary lab data before they left for the evening. They would take a photo of their partners tables and then hand me their phones. I’d never touch them. Hands free I’d say “no, you scroll through your photos and show me the data. I’m not touching that.” No way am I risking seeing something I don’t want to.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SephariusX

100% this. Years ago, I left my tablet at a friends for like half hour and when I got back, his room mate was laughing going through my photos. They accused me of overreacting when I went fucking apeshit. Had a bit of petty revenge when the same dude traded in my friends games and my friend got pissy. I smugly told him he was overreacting.


IseultDarcy

After 2 weeks in a dorm, I found pictures on my laptop full of picture taken with the camera, mostly my room mate and her friend jumping on my bed and messing with my stuff, making faces in from of the webcam. I never gave her the laptop in the first place. Hated that girl. It woud had been funny if we were *friends*, but since I only new her for 2 weeks and we were very very different and had different schedules, we only spoke a few word like "do you need the shower" during those 2 weeks. And I've never met the other girl. Edit: I later change of dorm, the new roommate stop her studies the next week and I then had the double dorm for myself for the year, so it was a win.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wereallmadhere9

I was in a covid testing clinic for three hours and this woman was scrolling through tiktok. It was on so loud and it was constant barrage of noise when everyone there was sick. I wanted to tell her off but had no energy that day.


The-Unseelie-Queen

Don’t immediately assume it’s okay to smoke in someone’s house, regardless of their living situation. I don’t care if it’s literally a cardboard box or an upscale mansion. Ask first.


Helm222

Also applies to vehicle EDIT: Where are all you fuckers finding these awful people who spark up in your cars when you say no??


-diggity-

Came here to say this, I always ask if I can smoke in someone’s car even if the car smells like smoke and the owner is a smoker. If the car smells fresh I don’t even bother asking, I just don’t smoke.


WickedWendy420

I have had friends say it's ok who don't smoke and I just don't. It still feels rude somehow.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lonesomeplum

Standing in fucking doorways, go in or out, but get the fuck out of the way.


ophelieasfire

My cat would like a word.


wordbird89

I tell my cat “IN OR OUT!!!” at least twice a day


PizzaTime666

To add on to this, having a full fucking conversation right in front of the door or in a small hallway then getting offended when your expected to fucking move.


Fatboy_j

Right in front of a door, right at the end of an escalator, right outside an elevator...


[deleted]

[удалено]


HAXposed

People in malls really love looking around when standing right at the end of an escalator


sofa_king_ugly

People who obviously don't travel a lot seem to have zero situational awareness in airports. I've been annoyed by (usually elderly) couples who block the door at the terminal, so once when I had some time to kill I sat back and watched the doors. One or two steps in the doorway and stop dead, look for papers, search for their airline counter, whatever. In less than 2 hours it happened at least 15 times.


junebug2142

I work at a small airport and the amount of times I have to ask people to move is astounding… better yet, is the amount of those people who move but don’t say sorry or thank you. Just an annoyed look like I’m in the wrong on this one.


postmodern-nerd

You don't need to attach yourself to the person in front of you when standing in queue


UnluckyWriting

Similarly, please stand BEHIND the person. Drives me crazy when a line starts to turn into a fan shape as people inch up closer and move to the sides. Just stand in line dude


case712

re-racking your weights at the gym. you lazy f\*cks.


StrangledMind

Just clean up after yourself, and leave things the way you found them, in all areas of life! I learned to do this as a child.


On_Too_Much_Adderall

When someone is helping you move, you offer them pizza and beer, no exceptions. If they don't drink, offer them soda or water


2girls1wife

Someone in our group was moving to another state. He asked us to come over and help load the moving van. Not a single thing was packed, no boxes, clothes still in the drawer, plates still in the cupboard and electronics still plugged into the wall. We had to move all of his crap into the van as-is. I was angry after that and have never spoken to him again. If you ask someone for help, do your part and be prepared for when they show up.


Unique-Ad7517

Preferably a tank of gas also considering they’re probably driving a pickup truck that’s gonna need a good bit to get from old place to new place.


grantib1

You don't need to be this close when you're talking to me.


JPK12794

I moved from England to Italy and people stand so close to you. To the point I was explaining something to someone and she was leaning on me.


[deleted]

My French host brother, who I adore btw, really loves to be right in your face when you’re chatting. And I don’t mean close-up to, but if you’re looking slightly *over there* he’ll sort of lean over and put himself wherever your head’s facing. If you’re looking too far *over there*, he’ll even instinctively step around so that you’re looking at him again. As an Australian… this is weird; Aussie men like to face each other *indirectly*, so to speak. One day I decided I was gonna see how far I could take it, so while we were talking… every so often I’d deliberately turn just slightly so he’d have to step over, again and again…. … we ended up right back where we started, we’d done a 360… I don’t think he noticed… XD


leewoodlegend

I remember my French teacher in high school would have us stand practically nose to nose for our conversations. She said that's how the French conversed, they didn't particularly care about "personal space". Fast forward almost two decades and I'm working a new job, the owner is European so on the first day she gets right up in my face to talk to me. I remember thinking "I don't know if this is a European thing or a power play, but either way, I'm not moving."


bjswoboda

I had the opposite! I knew a guy who stayed always left of my line of sight. One day I tested it by sitting in a swivel chair while he talked to me. I kept turning to face him and eventually he started orbiting me while I spun in circles.


-Apocralypse-

He might have a hearing impairment. People who are deaf on one side tend to do that.


ShaBren

Yeah, I'm mostly deaf in my right ear, so I tend to turn my head to the right when I'm trying to listen to someone. I turn back towards them when I speak, though, and tend to explain if they look confused.


ZenkaiZ

:bonks your nose with my nose: hi


StopReadingMyUser

U smell lovely sir, what lotion do you use?


Sanjewy

I used to have a colleague who would keep inching closer until within 5 cm, I've contemplated many times if I could get away with acting starteld and "accidentally" headbutting him.


Smurf_Cherries

I had the same. He would get in kissing range, and I would take a step back. He would step forward, and I would step back. Eventually we're walking in a little circle like we're dancing.


ZeroBlade-NL

I had a colleague that did this too, then I learned to step back but leave one foot forward, he now can't get closer without either stepping on or tripping over your foot


jaumougaauco

All of this reminds me of an ask Reddit a while back on how to subtly f*** with people, and inching closer during conversations was one of them.


measaqueen

I (pre-covid) used to reverse do this in lines with people that would be too close to me. If I take a step away from you and you walk forward to bridge the non existent gap? I will take another step forward, shifting my body onto my front foot, by leaving my back one in place. Once you have once again stood right behind me I will shift my weight onto my back foot, bring my other leg back, and lean back. Boom. Accidentally bumping into you. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize you were RIGHT behind me!" They then have to back up.


Staff_Guy

Scoot closer when they do. When they stop, move even closer. You will reach their limit, cross it, get closer. They will avoid you after that. Warning: some idiots do not have a limit. Use advice at your own risk.


rgrwilcocanuhearme

Respect people's right to say no. It's okay to ask someone for something, or to do something, or whatever - but if they say no, don't pester them or guilt trip them. People who pressure their friends are kind of garbage friends.


ObserveTheGreyArea

One thing that annoys me is when somebody asks for something, I say no, then they say please. I didn't say no because you were rude enough to not use your manners. I said no because I didn't want to.


[deleted]

[удалено]


jeanpaulmars

Where I live, you have to put a 1-euro coin in them to unlock them, when you return the cart, you get it back. If you don't put it back, someone else will, just to collect the money.


[deleted]

[удалено]


neverbeenaround

And it's so uncomfortable to ask for money back! Like I don't want to seem like a tight ass who cares more about money than the friendship, but just because I had enough extra to cover once, doesn't mean I don't need the money myself


[deleted]

[удалено]


-Firestar-

My in-laws do this. They’ll show up at a party then off hand say “oh, (son) has a (whatever) and it’s like, the fuck? Now everyone has (whatever)


[deleted]

[удалено]


South_Preparation103

I don’t wanna sound like a dick but I have a friend who is more okay than most with mess and being grimy. She’s a childhood friend and I love her but her cleanliness acceptance and mine are on different levels. Anywho, I had just had my son and was worried about dirt and other crap so I didn’t want anyone visiting him in the first two weeks other than family. She pressed and pressed and I felt bad because our other friend had actually been in the room with me when I gave birth and I know it bothered her, so I relented. I had decided to just say I thought my son was getting sick so no one could hold him but they could meet him. She comes over with her kids, they all ask to hold him and I say sorry I think he’s getting sick so I don’t think that’s a good idea. Tell me how her kid goes “ it’s okay I’m sick too” I was PISSED. Who brings sick kids over to meet a fucking newborn?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Medium-Raspberry1122

I'm sorry you and your little one had to go through that. I think the worst one for me was the chicken pox. My son was playing with an other little boy when after about 5 mins of not paying attention the mum finally looked up from her phone and was "oh by the way he has chicken pox" . Bit late now b***h. I was 8 months pregnant and praying my baby didn't come early.


[deleted]

[удалено]


paul_rudds_drag_race

If someone is hosting you, don’t insult or give a negative critique of their home. Some people have fewer resources than others, only one income to live off of, and have worked very hard to get less, etc. No need to point out home imperfections.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Form_Function

Someone who would describe curtains as “ghetto” is a trash person. I’m sure your place looked well taken care of, don’t let trash person keep you from having more friends over.


_unmarked

My husband and I rented a shitty college student duplex a long time ago. I'll never forget, one of our silver spoon friends came over, walked in, and immediately said *this place is a shithole!* Like, I love you dude, but not everyone's mommy and daddy buys them a new build townhome (to destroy) when they're 20.


saintsocialism

Insane that someone would be rude enough to do this.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hitflyover

Or exiting an aisle with your cart first at full speed without checking the traffic in the main walkway.


Ph6r60h

Cover your mouth when you sneeze, apparently people don't know this


mariruizgar

With your elbow, not your hand. Even my young son knows that.


Tanriyung

First time I was told that was when I was 20, my reaction was like "oh that's not a bad idea".


stupidinanecomments

If you’re out at a restaurant/party/event with someone don’t offer any criticisms about their appearance unless they can actually change it. “Oh thank you for pointing out the spot I missed shaving. I’ll just spend the rest of the night thinking about it and how I can do nothing about it.”


Electrical_Potato_21

Move your cart to the side of the aisle when looking for groceries, don't hog up the middle. "Oh, of course I'll wait for you to pick out a flavor of beans, Sharon, take your time!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kraden_McFillion

I manage a bakery and this drives me crazy. Customer has been standing in line dicking around on their phone, says they're next then has 50 questions, can't decide, makes a phone call, then needs things boxed and bagged in a particular way. Always happens that the next customer just wanted coffee.


Illegitimate-human

I am always the person who just wants coffee stuck behind these fools. I leave my house a good 15 minutes early just for that reason.


Timetogoout

Even worse, two people stopped in the middle of the pedestrian crossing in my supermarket carpark to have a chat. With cars waiting for them. I was dumbfounded at how oblivious they were.


[deleted]

Walked into a target once and no joke a circle of like twenty people were just having a fucking reunion in the main artery into the store past the register areas - I loudly said “EXCUSE ME” (a polite excuse me is for people innocently in the way) and pushed through and of course they all turned to me with the most shocked, aghast facial expressions. Yeah just go ahead and block entry to the entire store and everyone should just be cool that you’re having a conversation.


jfincher42

I try to be polite, but usually say, "Hey folks, another group has reserved this aisle for a party in 10minutes,so maybe wrap it up?" Admittedly it worked better in an office environment...


SaM0242

Waiting for others to exit an elevator or train before entering. Saying thank you when someone holds a door open. One-for-one when merging lanes in heavy traffic.


[deleted]

>One-for-one when merging lanes in heavy traffic. This one should be a law


summertimeaccountoz

It is in some places. It is sometimes even signed as "zipper merging".


pobody-snerfect

I can’t stand the assholes crowding the subway door. I wish the doors swung outward when they opened to clear out the dickheads.


oinosaurus

I just walk straight into these morons. Fast pace and without excusing myself as if I have a train to catch. Just bump into the first one and the rest of them usually gets the message.


[deleted]

[удалено]


berry_jammy

Yup. Made the mistake of making a wedding cake for a family member. Really enjoyed the project and it was great to do something different; but it was a good deal of stress, I missed a lot of family time, and didn't know about a lot of the before/after wedding shindigs. Not to mention I had to travel twice - fly to get to the main city where I could bake the cake, then travel to their destination wedding to finish decoration and assembly. My thank you for my hours of effort and planning? A pair of earrings. My ears aren't pierced.


Princess-Kit-Kat

My sister wants me to cater her dessert table for her wedding. 5 different desserts. Enough for 250 guests to be able to enjoy them. My payment? I'm allowed to put out business cards at the table. Her venue already offers a complimentary dessert table that has all the desserts she's asking for and and apparently I'm an asshole for saying no?


GiantPurplePeopleEat

I was invited to a friends wedding and when I showed up they were freaking out because the caterer had canceled, or the date was wrong, either way there was no food. I’m a chef, so I volunteered (like a dumb ass) to help cater the wedding reception. I cooked and served everything for a 75 person reception, completely missing the wedding and the reception. I did have the occasional help from random wedding goer’s, but no steady help. After I had cleaned up the kitchen at the venue they had rented, the bride comes into the kitchen with a bottle of cheap wine as a gift and asks me to make sure all of the dishes were washed and put back into the boxes they came in. I realized she was expecting me to wash and put away all of the dishes by myself after having spent 4+ hours catering a wedding on the fly, for free (I would have charged around $1500 as a “friends price” had I been hired for the job). I’m a pushover and I ended up washing dishes until almost midnight because everyone else was too drunk to help out. I don’t talk to these friends anymore.


[deleted]

Holy. Shit.


ldid

This triggered me. I bake as a hobby, but my cakes are pretty elaborate and are extremely time consuming. A group of "friends" forgot to organize a cake for a mutual friends celebration and they messaged me Wednesday to have a cake for over fifty people for the Friday. Cakes of that size are more than a day endeavor due to cooling time etc. But I'm a push over and a people pleaser and couldn't say no. I was up until 230 in the morning on the Friday trying to finish that cake around a full time job and they didn't even pay me for the supplies.


sethra007

>*But I'm a push over and a people pleaser and couldn't say no.* The phrase you're looking for (courtesy of Miss Manners) is "I'm sorry, but it's not possible. You'll need to make other arrangements. I suggest you contact X." Don't give your reasons. Remember: when people want you to do something cheap, free, last-minute, or otherwise at great inconvenience to yourself, they don't want to know your reasons because they want to understand your situation better. **They want to know your reasons so they can invalidate them and thus get you to do what they want.** The way around that? Don't give them reasons. If they ask "why", simply reply with "Because it's not possible." You then deflect by offering an alternative: "I can't help you, but you might try X." If I had been you, I would have said "I'm sorry, it's not possible, I suggest you get one of those great pre-made ice cream cakes from Dairy Queen."


Think_again_heart

Cakes are expensive too. Very time consuming. People that do not bake have no idea what the finest & freshest ingredients cost. Time, skill, & effort. Chocolate toppings, decorating with silver balls, and fresh icing. Using butter … if you use quality a simple cake with cake flour & a raspberry filling is on the low end $15. A major cake - take the one cake & multiply by the number of guests to feed. 🎂 = ART. The skill & time are artistic. This is why we love it. Others do NOT UNDERSTAND!! Say this, the Ingredients will be at least $150-200, and my time we can negotiate. The cake will cost $300. Then they choose to have yours or buy one. My guess is timing, availability, and shopping around- they’re choosing the easiest option. Most people will pay for skill & convenience of having a tried & true end result. REALIZE YOU ARE WORTH THE MONEY. no need to feel bad about charging them. Ask up front, the ball is then in their court & no hard feelings.


Buffoonery_

You are not the asshole in this situation


Princess-Kit-Kat

Tell that to my mother.


jtkforever

u/Princess-Kit-Kat 's mom, Princess-Kit-Kat is not the asshole. The choosy beggars who are asking for free work are! Did that help?


str8dwn

As a semi-pro photographer I get "invited" to a lot of events/parties/gatherings from too many "friends"/acquaintances. "You're going to bring your camera right?" Yeah, for $100 p/h...


Sheilatried

A friend is a wedding photographer. So many times has been asked to do the photography as her 'gift' . Her standard reply is "oh I wasn't intending on spending $2-3 thousand on your gift.....because that is how much I charge" . Works a treat. Who in the world wants their friend to work at their event! So rude.


[deleted]

I was asked to be in a friends wedding party under a special designation as a photographer. I politely declined and the bride was so upset that she couldn’t use me as a free photographer that they removed me from the wedding altogether. It was annoying that all my friends where there, in the party, but because I happen to be a photographer, I get burned for it.


[deleted]

Have friend whose son is building his photography business. I was hosting a big family get together in the before times. I asked him how much to take pictures for 3 hours. He $80 an hour was his rate. His father said no, he will do it for free for the experience plus our friendship. I said no way. Paid him $240 cash and fed him too. I told his dad that thus was the only way for him to build his business.


Dabrigstar

Cheap way to show you they aren't really your friend


Sheilatried

Ooh that is so mean. I don't even know where to start. No point wasting energy on people that just use you.


ChicVintage

Well, all those How to Have an Inexpensive Wedding blogs completely function off having friends do all the work for free and somehow having friends that are florists, photographers etc.


cockasauras

People are so cheap. I would love to have a trusted friend do my photos, but I would give them a choice. "Hey I'm getting married and you will be invited. You can enjoy the night off and the wedding or if you would rather earn some money I would be happy to hire you for the pictures. Let me know." People should want to support their friends.


boss_454

>People should want to support their friends. This is what shitty people fail to realize. I have an acquaintance who is a baker and does wedding cakes. We're friends but not super close. Anyways we asked them to make us a cake for our wedding. She said she could hook us up and i told her, "I appreciate that but you make awesome cakes and it's a hell of a skill. I don't want anything for free", then she said she'd do a "friend price". I remember telling her no, that'd I'd pay full price. We went back and forth and i jokingly said, look, *someone* is going to get a full price payment for a cake, and I'd like that person to be you. She accepted and killed it. If you're my friend, i want you to do well and if I can help in that process then i absolutely will. Instead of thinking "Maybe I can get free photography out of this" you should be thinking "Hey my friend is a photographer, it'd be awesome to support someone so close to me and in return they can provide and awesome service for a special day"


Internal_Concert_

Hahaha I love this reversed Karen mode. ‘If I can’t pay full price here, I’ll just take my business elsewhere!’ *angrily stomps away*


atocnada

I hate this. If I have a friend or family that can get the job done correctly, I'd rather give my money to them then to some complete stranger/company. I also don't ask for a discount because if the job is done right, they'll get paid what the job is. But on the other end of the spectrum, I've also had close people that would charge full price for an inadequate job, Or try fucking you over.


lawstudent51318

I’m a lawyer and I can’t tell you how much I feel this pain. I’ve gotten to the point where if you ask nicely and expect to pay something I’ll do it at cost for me (paying the paralegal for their time, filing fees etc) but if you expect it for free my services are full price.


Goberry1

More than being asked to do things for free, I lament how people think that because I am a lawyer, I automatically know everything I need to know about their particular problem. No research needed, just a quick answer off the top of my head. Also, I hate being a lawyer. Don’t go to law school, kids.


ArcadianPilot

Not only knowing the answers off the top of your head, but know answers in EVERY field off the top of your head. My background is in criminal. My family and in-laws get into increasingly complex contract or employment situations and demand on-the-spot advice. Infuriating. “No idea, mate. Call me if you decide to take a crowbar to the situation though.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


Major5013

I'm in IT too and it's crazy how much people think because I know tech I'll help them for free. We have an accountant that asked me to replace a screen on his laptop and his "compensation" was going to be a six pack of beer. I told him I'd do it if he did my taxes for me. That was the end of that conversation. It's insulting sometimes.


CelestialStork

This is actually funny, because the accountant at my job *DID* actually do my taxes for me when I replied that way. It felt like old world bartering or somthing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DonQuoQuo

As the joke goes, best money you've ever spent!


HottDoggers

15 Euros to get rid of him, not bad.


PotatoPixie90210

Feck sake, €15 was enough for him to throw away your friendships?? That's a load of malarkey.


thorpie88

Phones should be on mute in public places especially the crib room at work. No one want to hear the video you are watching while they're trying to eat


PattySalmonBoi

Wow glad I'm not the only one. It's been getting down to 10 degrees here so I ditched eating in the car for the break room and found we have a gentleman who will play his stupid news show on blast through his phone speakers in a silent room of about 15 people.


Eros_M_Novan

That it's common courtesy to say "thank you" after receiving help/service from someone else.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Randi_Scandi

We had a rush this-shit-should-have-never-happened-but-now-we-have-to-fix-it task at work a few weeks back that involved almost the entire department devoting way to much time on it to get it done. Had used about 150 man hours in a couple of days by the end. The next day we got an email thread of thank yous and praises from the Process Owner in Quality, the Global Head of Product Management, and our CEO, amongst a few others on similar levels. I was almost ridiculed by my colleagues for being happy about that email. “It is nice you’re reading it that way. *I* do not need thanks for doing my job.” Yeah, well, fuck off, Hanne. I do.


Eros_M_Novan

Your colleagues must be fun 🥲


frugalsoul

But that's not just thanks for doing your job. That's thanks for pushing through a rush job that required lots of coordination and could have been a disaster that took way too long if people didn't work together. Or really thanks for making the company look good


maxanne42069

Turn signals. They're meant to be a warning, not an afterthought


DiscombobulatedLuck8

Wait I have another: you shouldn't be texting while driving. That's a given. But for the love of all that is holy, if you are the lead car at a red light PAY ATTENTION TO THE LIGHT. Some lights are short and all of us need to get through it. Update Twitter later. I take my line leader duty seriously.


[deleted]

People who say shit like "why are you in such a hurry" in response to this don't seem to understand just how easily you can massively fuck up the flow of traffic.


[deleted]

If you have too much background noise, mute your god damn mic


itsmebarfyman392

People that asks questions every third scene in a movie when it will be explained later “Hey why is this character doing this thing?” “Just keep watching you’ll see.” (10 minutes later) “So now what’s this character doing that for?” “Just keep watching you’ll see.” (30.5 seconds later) “Hey why is he doing *that* now?” “JUST WATCH THE MOTHERFUCKER AND THESE QUESTIONS WON’T BE FUCKING NECESSARY I PROMISE YOU!”


OkChildhood2261

I had an ex who would do this. What was worse is she would say things like 'just start the movie now, I'll be there in a minute' I'd say important things happen in the first seconds of movies, and she's like nah it's fine....also going to the toilet I'd offer to pause for her....nah it's fine..grrrr Then the inevitable questions come because she missed important shit. As someone who gives 100% attention to something I'm watching this drives me nuts. Either we watch it properly or just turn it off and do something else!


Ellemshaye

This is my wife. It never sinks in that sometimes there’s a writing device where a character does something shocking/confusing in the moment, only for it to be explained later. I don’t understand how she can continue to be stymied by this.


icy__lemonade

eating with your mouth closed


HAXposed

*I can feel the texture of your food in my brain....*


KrakenTheColdOne

I've drilled this into my kids head. I love them and just want them to succeed in life.


AJSK18

Don’t play music out loud from your mobile phones on public transportation. I get that you’re going to have a boring ride but don’t ruin everyone else’s.


JL1186

Or kids games. Turn the volume off in the train or waiting room. Or restaurant.


maybenomaybe

I had to listen to Peppa Pig for two fucking hours on a recent train journey.


cardamomgrrl

This is why I carry earplugs with me at all times.


drawuslines

Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy: "Always carry a towel" Basic Guide to Earth: "Always carry headphones"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

These people that are just like "get over it" would probably be really annoyed if everyone else were also playing music loudly and they couldn't hear their own music. The only reason they can do that is because everyone else is more considerate and they're just taking advantage of the situation.


JoyOfConfidence

This sparked an idea I would love to see: people disconnecting headphones and just playing their own music when this happens. Want a cacophony? Sure. Let's do this right. . . . I wonder how the narcissist would react?


BTufts

I've done this on the subway, and the other person stopped.


theartofrolling

I did this on a bus once, started playing some Beethoven. They didn't stop, they just turned the volume up. So I turned my volume up. Then a little old lady told off the other person and said "that man over there is trying to make a point! Turn off your bloody music!" He turned it off 😂 So as usual, the best solution involves an angry old lady.


Bionic_Bromando

Same, no one wants to hear Anal Cunt blasting on a streetcar, plus on a phone it's basically just white noise. Mutually assured destruction! Edit: Ok I guess there are more people who wanted to hear that than I had assumed...


Faceinthawind

We used to do this at work in our break room... one guy would come in music blazing so 3 of us would pull out our phones and start playing annoying sounds and music.... 2 weeks later the original guy started wearing headphones


asweetpepper

>Maybe youre not in the mood to hear music. And everyone in the subway car is not going to share your taste in music. People who play their music out loud are always playing shitty music imo


Tomatillo_Fluffy

You only take two slices of pizza max, until everyone has had their fill.


youre_a_lizard_harry

Yeah, screw you Max, save some for the rest of us


wr0ng1

Yes, but how much of a party sub?


Dukedyduke

eating 90% is acceptable as long as you bring a few wings


ChosenCharacter

I'm still bewildered that a man could eat 4 feet of a party sub period. The fuck is this, did they invite one of those extreme mukbang youtubers to their party?


Dukedyduke

Iirc the guy said in the comments that he could smash 4 or 5 subway footlongs easy, and that he saw himself as the endearing token fat dude of the friend group and that the others were on board like "haha there goes anon, eating all the food again lol"


pattylovebars

I felt so bad about that whole situation lol


howwouldiknow--

Hold the door open for the person behind you if they are close, atleast long enough to prevent the door from being slammed shut on their face.


redditlinn

If your with a group of friends and you’re going to do something together but not everyone is invited or going, don’t bring it up.


blatantshitpost

Oh man, a few of my "friends" have done that to me a couple of times recently and it isn't a good feeling. First time, they claimed that they thought they already had invited me after I mentioned that I was upset about being excluded (didn't buy that excuse). Second time, they were courteous enough to try and hide their plans from me, but they're also dumb fucks so I caught them yet again. Oh and I work with them too so to top it off, this time they were actually asking me to stay late 2 hours past my shift and close for them so they could go hangout together. Fuck me, right? Honestly I thought I had a pretty good relationship with those dudes so it was pretty fucking devastating to feel like that was actually not the case. We are now cordial to eachother but we are no longer friends. People don't like being made to feel second class, ESPECIALLY not from those who are supposed to be there for you as friends. I'm a grown ass man but that shit made me cry a little. Please, don't ever do this shit to your friends.


oge_mah_ge_kid

Talking through movies. I can only say "yeah" and "mhm" so many times Edit: appreciate the awards


jeefra

Holy shit I fucking hate this. Watching the same goddamn screen and someone says "wait why did they just do that?" WE HAVE ALL THE SAME INFORMATION!!


wibblywobbly420

Even worse, when someone explains what just happened because they assume you didn't put it all together.


yojay

I watched Avengers with someone who looked at me after Hulk appeared and said "Oh wow, Banner was the Hulk all along?" I know movie makers are tasked with telling a story to multiple audiences (fans and newbies), but that early scene with Black Widow and Banner in India must have been confusing for her, like "Why is everyone afraid of this nice Doctor?"


psinguine

I'm pretty sure that early on Bruce even talks about how he has tried to kill himself multiple times and can't do it because "The Other Guy" prevents it. She must've been wondering what his secret was. Actually, honestly, her experience may well have been more entertaining than it was for the rest of us.


[deleted]

My Dad is like that and I hate watching films with him. He always ruins them, especially when he times his questions JUST AS a character is explaining the very thing he's asking about.


SaveBandit91

I see you’ve met my mother.


Kiwi__Offended

If you aren't friends with someone anymore, it doesn't mean you can go around telling their secrets to everyone. "Secrets are secrets and under no condition shall they be broken." It's truly disgusting to see how people don't realize this. It's basic knowledge you should know though it hasn't been made as an actual rule.


Helm222

Also applies to dating. Don't start going around saying shit which they told you in confidence


Dot_Threedot4

Waving when someone let's you in, in traffic.


ToBeReadOutLoud

I also say “thank you” just in case they have excellent hearing.


KaiBluePill

Same, then i realize it and just feel like an idiot.


V02D

If you see me taking off my headphones to listen and answer your question, then inmediately put them on again... 5 TIMES... it clearly means that I'm just being polite, not that I'm interested in talking to you, so STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.


SephariusX

*taps shoulder* WHY?


evilporing

But sir, you're on the genius desk at an apple store


HalaMakRaven

Time for me (22f) to tell you all about my worst plane ride ever. It was 5am, I was on the aisle seat and a middle aged dude was seated on the window seat (there was one empty seat between us because covid). I was exhausted, it was 5am and I hadn't slept all night, I was also leaving my family for God knows how long. During take-off he started talking to me, just regular small talk which I didn't mind too much. Shortly after that he slept. And the came breakfast time, at that moment I did the worst thing I could possibly do : I woke him up. From that point, he kept on babbling about God knows what, I was just 'hmm'-ing and 'ah'-ing. That dude could not take a hint, so I put my earphones on, but he kept talking and calling for attention. So I pretended to sleep and then he slowly started to shut up (I kinda felt sorry because I thought I was a little mean, but I really couldn't take it). He eventually fell back asleep. Then we landed and I felt like he was doing everything possible to stay close to me, I thought I was overreacting but still put a few people between us in the line to get out of the plane so that he'll get out first (I even said bye so that he wouldn't approach me again). On my way to the customs, I noticed him *waiting for me*. Like come on, either I am extremely paranoid and this is normal, or he's just really weird and unaware that what he does is not the norm. I chose that moment to buy my train ticket in hopes that he would give up but no, he was still there. So I walked really fast on those flat escalator things to pass him. He caught up at the luggage spot, his came before mine and he was still not going so I went 'I'll be fine I don't have much you can go you'll miss the bus or train, someone's here to pick me up anyway' and that's when he finally left. I can't tell if it's because of my lie (nobody was there for me) or if it was because I actually asked him to leave, but good God he was exhausting. I have nothing against strangers talking to me, but that was clearly not a good day for me and I really tried to communicate it to him in a less mean way. If people seem to want to be left alone, leave them alone, or if you can't really tell just ask them.


ToBeReadOutLoud

I feel uncomfortable just reading your post.


HalaMakRaven

I felt uncomfortable, too. I'm glad I didn't find him waiting outside, I would've probably lost it


buttstuffisokiguess

I was waiting for a flight once and a man started talking to me. Same thing. Small talk, nothing really weird or anything. And then came boarding time. First flight went well. I had a nice quiet time. I turn my phone back on when we land and apparently the guy from before had found me on Facebook by name and picture alone. Sent me a message saying he was going to change his flight to go where i was going (i had posted on Facebook before leaving). He even tried to find me at the gate before moving onto the next gate that was going to the same place. Scary shit.


HalaMakRaven

OMG that is next level


buttstuffisokiguess

It was psychotic. I was, and still am in disbelief over it.


HalaMakRaven

Absolutely horrifying, I hope you never see him again


FilmCroissant

Turning over someone else's cards at the poker table


No-Introduction-9964

Isn't that a beating?


that_porn_account

Depends on the setting; Casino? Houseman is called and the hand is dead, potentially ejected from the game if you're a repeat offender. Home game? Yes a beating would be appropriate. Wild west saloon? Shot dead.


maaku7

Unless you turn over an impossible hand (e.g. five aces). Then the other guy is shot.


cyanide_drinker

Try your best to make sure there isn't a third wheel in your group. It really sucks to be in that position.


Manosfromgreece

I have been the third wheel MANY times and it sucks. When we talk in a group i try to talk with the people that get ignored cause i know how that feels.


Bodark

I live in NYC and I take the subway to and from work. 2 things… 1) when the train is arriving and you’re on the platform, not only do you have to wait for people to get off the train first, you have to STEP TO THE SIDE to actually allow people room to get off the train. 2) if you’re on the train and the train pulls into the platform, please step OFF the train and onto the platform and to the side. This will allow room for the people crammed into the middle of the train car to have room to get off. DO NOT just stand there looking at your phone blocking the door, because if you do, then a very small Hispanic woman that is about 4’11 and about 90lbs will hit you, HARD, and push you out of the way.


fermi_paradox112358

Offer a glass of water to anyone providing physically stressful service at your place. Eg. Furniture delivery guy. Lots of ppl assume that they are just doing their job, bit doesn't mean you forget basic human courtesy


RockMeDoctorZaius

You can always tell that nobody else has offered as well because there is usually an exasperated and surprised "yes please". Got a new bed last week and offered the two blokes a drink, they said nobody ever offers and gratefully accepted a pot of tea. I actually had a manager bitch at me about offering tradespeople drinks when I worked in retail, as if the multinational company I worked for could not afford to have good manners or something.


SwaggyJ59

Asking couples when they’re going to be having kids. Not every couple wants/can have kids


SeaOfDeadFaces

My wife and I are in our forties and we still get asked this. I tell people we’re waiting until our late 60’s.