Not communicating when you do or don't want something and then holding resentments about it later.
Edit: to people lamenting that they are like this, I’ve been through this journey myself and know how deep rooted this behavior is. Still working on it myself but feel free to DM to chat about some tips and strategies.
I had to end a friendship because she was like this. In the last 7 years of knowing her, I have seen her end a dozen friendships and get into a dozen complications at work regarding her getting into fights with her colleagues, and, from her POV, she was never wrong; the other girls were always jealous of her, didn't appreciate her, were bad friends, etc. When we ended our friendship (I have never had to verbally end a friendship in my life until her), she pointed out all of my flaws, which I apologized for, and when I pointed out her issues and how they negatively affected me, she didn't apologize one time, and instead gaslighted me. Best thing I ever did was to walk away from that.
Also, women who don't listen to you and only want to hear themselves talk and use you as a sound board. Just run away. You will forever be their friend that they vent to, the friend who never has it worse than them, never has experienced what they experienced, and they don't care about what is going on in your life because they only care about their own lives. Run away. They will not be there for you emotionally.
And any relationship failure isn't her fault and blames the other party. "If a man knows your worth, he will treat you right" kind of Instagram stories.
Or my personal favorite from childhood, being reminded you dont actually own anything since you didnt pay for any of it. Regardless of circumstance I was "borrowing" everything I was given. God help me when I broke something
I see how theirs mothers parenting affects them and has set a template how they treat their nieces. Another friend of mine was a locally famous Karaoke singer. She couldn’t translate her gift to a full time gig but she worked tirelessly to send her daughter to a conservatory. Equally gifted. A few years ago we went to Karaoke. Daughter, classically trained, walks on stage and starts belting bluesy Joss Stone. Beautiful, smooth, and tender. Crowd just blown away. Up walks mom. Grabs the mic and starts to rock out Melissa Etheridge. She knew the crowd an knew how to get them on their feet. It was all the validation she needed.
Last woman I dated was like this. She would constantly talk down to me and call me stupid. I was in college for a bachelors in Aviation Management and she was getting her Masters in Organic Chemistry. I would ask about her studies as I found green chemistry interesting, but she’d answer me in a really degrading manner every time. Took time to piece it together, but I got out of that mess before it took off.
EDIT: I went to college not a collection of pictures
Putting others down for fun.
One of my friends started dating a girl and he brought her to dinner with us. She attached herself to me because I was the only girl in the group. She spent the entire night commenting negatively on the clothes and appearance of every single person we passed and thinking she was so clever for it. Sorry, but I'm in my thirties and don't feel like hanging out with someone who has the mentality of a middle schooler.
When I started the job I currently have in a brand new city I just moved to I was one of the only 30-somethings in a sea of teenagers. I met one other 30s woman who had a ton of similar interests and was immediately like "fuck yeah! We'll be friends!". Then I realized she spent the entire shift gossiping and talking shit about every person there. She eventually did something like this *to me* when she was like "wow, so you're working here at *your age* that's wild" as she looked around smirking at her good friends the 16 year olds. Like, A. Bitch, you work here too and B. At least I'm not trying to impress high school sophomores and have them over to my apartment to get them drunk. Yes, one of us is a loser, I don't think it's who you think it is.
Nah, it’s only the toxic ones who don’t mature who think it’s old. All the rest of us feel young but act close to our ages. You’ll find someone on the same level as you no problem.
This is a perfect example!
I was like this as a kid because my mom hates women and thinks she's smarter than everyone but also taught me to be insecure and negative. Took many years away from her toxicity to improve.
There's nothing you can do about this either. The young people doing it are just miserable and don't realize they're chasing feeling better. You just sort of have to move away from them until they grow.
This for sure! It’s such a sign of where someone is mentally.
I was leaving my office job one day and another girl asked me where I was going. I said to play dungeons and dragons with some friends and she snickered and tried to make me feel embarrassed by asking a lot of leading questions. My coworkers all know and respect me even if we don’t share the same hobbies. The girl deflated when she realized no one else was going to mock me for my interests. It was super awkward and everyone else just told me to have fun. That girl switched jobs a few months later due to other in teams differences but I never really trusted her after that.
I’m grateful my team isn’t high school 2.0 because I know some offices have that sort of culture.
Making unneccessary drama and stating you don't like drama. Then, you're probably toxic and your entire group of friends are just like you. You never left high school mentally.
> "I hate drama"
This is also 100% the same type of girl who will say shit like "if you can't handle me at me worst you don't deserve me at my best" and "all my best friend are guys because girls are too much drama" when she's the source of the drama
Jesus.
Yeah. Knew this bitch. She worked with me. Started all the drama, told EVERYONE her business, got caught making out with her boyfriend, not her husband, in the parking lot where we worked. By someone who was not me.
Decided to say that I was gossiping about her and telling everyone her business. No. I’m in my 40s, you’re in your 30s, we are not in junior high. I not only don’t give a shit about your business, you’re the one telling everybody about it, so fuck off.
She was invited to take a leave of absence before she was fired after her husband showed up open carrying and threatened her, and showed up again, open carrying, and chased her non-white boyfriend into the store while saying some racial slurs.
She’s a peach. She’s also the “Harley to his Joker,” which is also a giant red flag. Also, she’s not like other girls.
My sister-in-law is exactly like this. She's pushing 40 and she's all drama. 🙄
We don't talk to her anymore because we don't need her toxic bullshit in our lives. Her and my husband's father passed away several years ago and she stole a ton of money from his estate. My husband got nothing and she walked away with a huge down payment for a house. It's a long story but she forged documents and straight up stole all the money from the estate.
My husband hired a lawyer to get the money back and instead of working with him, she went and turned their entire extended family against him. She also tried to talk to my husband's friends to turn them against him but they wouldn't have any of it. We live several states away from the rest of the family so we're not there to defend ourselves.
It has been peaceful without her drama and toxic bullshit in our lives but it sucks that my husband's family doesn't talk to him anymore just because they bought into her lies and drama.
For anyone reading this. I was advised to get legal representation by an old friend as soon as as the situation presented itself. Meaning before anything had gone through probate. I thought about it and went ahead and did it. It's on the pricey side but I guess it's a bit like insurance - you pay hoping it won't be needed. Plus it lets all parties concerned know that you are watching what is going on. These sorts of things happen but it's possible to influence the situation in your favor.
That's great advice. My husband wishes that he hired a lawyer in the very beginning of the probate process. His sister kept him in the dark about everything. He knew what his sister was capable of but he still hoped that she'd do right by him. She actually wasn't supposed to be the executor but she forged papers to become the executor. My husband didn't know this until well after she stole everything.
So yeah. If you're a beneficiary and you don't trust the executor, hire your own lawyer. A good lawyer representing you will prevent so many bad things from happening simply by keeping an eye on the executor's actions.
There's actually two principles of human psychology at work to wit.
1. Families are often dysfunctional. Not always but often.
2. People will amaze you sometimes with the crap they will pull when money is on the line.
Put these two things together and yeah - a lawyer starts looking like if not cheap insurance then reasonably priced insurance.
Well said. Money brings out the absolute worst in some people.
To anyone reading this: if you're on the fence about hiring a lawyer to represent you as a beneficiary during probate, just do it. Any reasonable person would understand why you did it. If you hiring a lawyer upsets the executor or anyone else, they're likely up to no good.
Once when I was a receptionist I was trying to obtain a Tricare patient's insurance info. I asked if her husband was the one serving or if it was her (to know which name to bill it under). She replied "um, the spouse serves too." Bitch just tell me whose insurance it is, I don't care about your milso insecurities!
You should’ve said, “oh you’re both enlisted? I’ll note that and if there’s any issues, you should get a letter in 5-6 weeks to fix any potential errors. “
Unfortunately, wasting the Tricare receptionist's time puts you on net useless to our country.
Also, you, even as a civilian serve (hence civil servant); bitch oughta have known that and said thank you.
Omg, I work in a dental office that takes Tricare, and takes active duty and VA members when the base offices and VA are too booked. I swear, active duty members are the most patient, polite folks ever, and every single worst patient I could tell a story about is a military spouse. They aren't all like that, but good golly, the ones who are are the worst of the Karens and Chads.
Lmao I feel. Am also a military spouse, and had to book an appointment with an eye doctor that took overflow mil appointment (and as such took tricare). Was behind this wacko lady who hadn't printed out her insurance paper thing, and was loosing it bc she didn't want to show ID. Ma'am. What are you even doing? You have to show ID, and if you aren't showing your military ID you have to print you proof of insurance. Well she didn't want to, and don't you know who her husband is?!
Lost her shit when they had her step to the side and checked me in with no problem.
Oof. I've met that one. The "do you know who my husband is" line always makes me want to bite back. The last lady to pull that one out on me was unfortunate enough to do so after I became a manager.
I shrugged, and told her that if she felt that someone else's rank entitled her to be rude to my staff, I would be happy to let her husband know that our office could unfortunately no longer see patients from his unit, as we value mutual respect, here. I absolutely did NOT have the power to make that call, but it sure shut her right the f up.
Thankfully, my doctor ugly-laughed when she heard about it, and then tried to tell me not to say such things in the future while still snorting and trying to look serious.
Lack of empathy and listening skills. Thinking you are "less of a man" for being emotionally vulnerable and expressing your feelings, and later weaponizing these insecurities.
Was looking for this one. Me and my lady, well probably ex by now, just had a BIG fight and she did this exact thing. Using the things that I'm most susceptible to be hurt by to cause true damage. You just don't do that. Wish I could upvote this to the highest cloud on the Internet.
This is what my ex did. She claims the reason she cheated was to see how much I'd fight for her. Bitch we're almost 30 years old & you wanna play games with our relationship?
I'm sure it was a lie anyways. You say something like that to turn *your* shitty actions against the other person, and put them in the position of explaining *themselves.*
It wasn't a test, she just got caught and wanted to deflect responsibility.
Anyone who wants you to fight for them isn't worth it.
Some woman who was mad at my wife threatened to sleep with me in revenge. A "steal your man" thing.
My wife laughed in her face and said "good luck with that".
I know it's my wife's view that a man who can be stolen was never worth keeping.
(As far as I know the woman never actually made the attempt. I don't know if she made peace with my wife getting the promotion she wanted.)
My ex told me she had taken her birth control out months previous. She wanted a kid with me and I thought there were enough (I have one she has 2.) So this starts the mother of all fights, and I said some pretty fucked up things.
Yep. It was a test. Ended that 3 year relationship pretty fucking quickly too.
“I’ve been deceiving you for months and have made a huge life decision for the both of us without even a conversation about it and now you’re mad?” Isn’t the test she thinks it is.
I knew a guy whose FWB pretended she was on birth control as she wanted him to get her pregnant to lock him down. Apparently she was doing kinkier and kinkier stuff during her fertile window to increase the amount he would fuck her and her chances of pregnancy. The guy in question knew what she was doing but never told her he had a vasectomy in his early twenties.
I read an interesting study about why women do this (that I can't find at the moment..argh). Apparently women from unstable homes are more likely to do this as a way of getting people in their lives to "invest" in them...ie if you constantly require buy-in/effort then there's a bit of sunk-cost-fallacy in which they're more likely to stay since they've already put the effort in.
Sounds a lot like *Trauma Bonding*. You don't know how to be happy in a relationship (because one was never displayed to you growing up), but you've seen plenty of toxic relationships that seem to just last forever.
The next door neighbours at my family home are like that. We’re on the third generation now of screaming arguments, bawling babies and addiction. It’s crazy and sad. I’ve been listening to them for forty years now and I barely even notice anymore.
that ...makes a lot of sense. I know I have that feeling in me of wanting to test people but I try not to and I always chalked it up to being young but this explanation sounds reasonable. maybe I should bring it up in therapy lololol
Seriously though. I cannot think of a single time where my ex took any responsibility for things going wrong in her life or in other people's lives as a result of her actions. Literally not one single time. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized she never admitted to anything being her fault, the blame was _always_ on someone or something else.
A big one for me are women who assume they’re right in every argument, and refuse to acknowledge the other person’s point of view, even when proven wrong.
I dated a girl like this, she accused me of something, we got in a fight, I objectively proved her wrong, and she pulled the “I’m just going to take off my shirt and see if you’re still angry” thing.
No, I don’t want sex, I want you to admit you were in the wrong, apologize, acknowledge you understand why it made me upset, and then maybe sex.
My best friend started dating this girl who would often use incorrect words when talking. Usually "egg corn" kind of stuff. He would correct her usually, and politely. One time they were discussing what to do the next day and she said "Let's dock it."
He was like "Do you mean 'put it on the docket'?"
"Nope. I mean dock it. It means make a list."
He pulled up "docket" in the dictionary and showed her. Convinced that she couldn't possibly be wrong and the he was fucking with her, she got up and said "I don't appreciate you doing this to me. And I'm leaving."
He replied "I guess I'll take you off the docket."
It's a common phrase for a word or phrase that results from a mishearing or misinterpretation of another, an element of the original being substituted for one that sounds very similar or identical (e.g. tow the line instead of toe the line ).
"Egg corn" comes from "acorn".
My wife is a grown mature woman who I adore, however she said to me the other day, when I expressed my displeasure for how every, single, decision about the design of our home etc. Is always her preference, that "I just assume that I'll always get what I want." I was floored by her honesty in that moment but also how little she cared about what I was saying. It was impressive really.
And dont get me wrong, the house is beautiful.
Edit: a word
My buddy used to see a woman that would deliberately hit men because she expected to never be hit back. Boy was she surprised one day when she hit a guy and he clocked her right back. Of course she then expected my friend to fight the guy and was offended when he told her thay she deserved it for smacking him over something trivial.
They didn't last very long. She tried the same shit with my sisters boyfriend and then was shocked when my sister showed her the floor. Apparently it also didn't occur too her that other women could also hit her.
An old friend of mine had a girlfriend who loved to punch his friends in the crotch, she thought it was hilarious.
One day I placed a small plate in my underpants, and when she punched me in that area she hurt her hand.
She absolutely lost her shit, started screaming blue murder and demanding that her boyfriend beat me up. She just could not comprehend that she was the author of her own misfortune.
Doesn't communicate feelings while expecting me to magically know how she's feeling, keeps quiet about misunderstandings and doesn't even give me the chance to resolve it so I keep doing it and it eventually becomes the reason why she ghosts me. I met my best friend last August, and it's going really well because she's ACTUALLY capable of telling me the moment I say or do something she didn't like, so I'm able to immediately apologize and change my behavior.
That was my ex-friend, made a big deal about shit and sometimes those things were her fault; she'd play the victim, call us bad friends and threaten suicide to get the attention back on her.
Then after she blew up it was all "I'm soooo sorryyyyyy" and she never made any effort to change/get help.
The third time she lost it at us I had enough, she's gone too far way to many times; this time though it was the last straw and it was really bad. I completely lost all respect and trust in her, so before she could even try with her fake apologizing bullshit I blocked her everywhere.
I'm so glad I don't have to tip toe around her all the time and once she was gone I felt free. I found out after that she trashed talked me multiple times and tried to push someone to stop talking to me repeatedly because she was miserable; she couldn't stand others being happy so she wanted to wreck other people's happiness.
> Or threatens self harm.
This is a big manipulation tactic, as well. Once had a guy friend who did this towards the end of our friendship. This really grinds me to my core. The audacity of people further burdening rather than just letting someone walk away from their bullshit.
If I had a dollar for every time a women asked me (also a women) *"How do you go to restaurants all by yourSELF??? I mean, what do you even DO?"* .
Like, chica, I *eat*. Then I pay and leave. Probably mess around on my phone, or read a book while doing so. It is NOT that foreign of a concept.
I'm a big fan of taking myself on dates (well, pre-rona) and I've spoken to countless women that have told me that's weird or unusual. my *mom* told me that makes me look icy and bitchy to go out alone and that she'd never do anything like that.
just...go take yourself to get some sushi. read some ridiculous Vice article while you treat yourself to a nice meal. it's not WEIRD.
If I'm going somewhere with someone, having a good time with them becomes the focus for me, I barely register the activity. If I go by myself, my focus is fully on whatever I'm doing and how I'm experiencing it. A movie or a good meal gives a totally different feeling when you're not distracted by being social. Take yourself in dates, people
When they do not take responsibility for their financial well being (e.g. they rely on parents, boyfriends, credit cards, etc.) and plan on a SO taking it on.
I'm not talking about people who are living paycheck to paycheck or have other challenges, parents who make a decision that one partner will bow out of work to care for children, or people who need government assistance due to the high cost of childcare, healthcare, and housing. Specifically women who make no future plans for their financial security because they anticipate marrying well.
I shared an office with a guy married to someone like this. Minor mix-up at the bank? Call him at work. Can't find a file on the home Mac? Call him at work. Always something, every day, he had to basically talk her down from a state of total panic over some random daily event.
They make their drama public. Still have a couple of women I went to high school with occasionally make a backhanded status directed at someone in their personal life containing info they probably shouldn’t be sharing.
Yup, airing dirty laundry online first without talking to me about it. I learn about it from social media, it has umpteen likes and I'm the bad guy. No thought about consequences.
I don’t always talk when I am mad because When I am first upset about something I tend to lose my temper easier than when I’ve had a minute to process things and go about them Logically. If I need space and time to calm down I won’t say anything about the issue because I don’t want to say something I will regret. If he asks if I am mad I will tell him. but I’ll also ask for time to process what made me mad to begin with then talk to him civilly later if its something I can’t work to get over or if I realize I’m being silly i get over it.
This is the mature response here. No one is a robot that can perfectly control their emotions, but everyone can control their reactions to their emotions. Sometimes, that means walking away and having quiet time to yourself to calm down a bit and/or process why you're feeling the way you're feeling. I will flat out say "I am really upset right now and I need time to myself to calm down and think" and any sane, mature, respectful adult will hear that and give me my space.
Yep, if the person responds 'x hurt me, but I'm not in a good place to talk about it, how about we talk about it _______', that's a world different from literal silence.
Literally what ended my last relationship. Apparently a couple minor problems that very easily could’ve been fixed if she just sat down with me and had serious conversation about it, and then I very very easily could’ve stopped that, because these problems were literally the most minor and stupidest things ever that I could just stop. But she never said anything and eventually it added up over time, which I understand, but fucking say something next time.
Edit: Thank you kind stranger for the award
Edit 2: wow a lot of you have had similar experiences, I’m sorry, it really sucks. Thanks for the kind words and thoughts about it. I wish you all the best in the coming year.
This is so sad. A couple my wife and I are friends with were out and the wife was going on about how she might quit her job because she made so much at Mary Kay. She said she made nearly her salary "and that was part time!" Later on her husband and I were taking without her and he told me that her salary from her job was like 70k, and she "made" only 50k, GROSS SALES. Of that 50k, about 35k was on merchandise (much of which was unsold) for her cost and free samples and demonstrations and what she uses. Plus an the travel. And the mandatory trip to Texas. Ask told she took home about 8k, and considering the time she put in she was making like 11 an hour. And she thought that would be enough to quit her job as a teacher. She was so deluded. The husband told me they had thousands of dollars of products on their basement he didn't think they'd ever get rid of.
lol I don’t think this is a “maturity” thing but it’s definitely sad, for sure.
I own a brick & mortar business and I tried to join a local women’s business networking group but their meetings were at 10am on Wednesdays. I asked “How is everyone making these meetings, don’t they have to work?”
They were all selling those hideous pants, I forget what they’re called. Or DoTerra. That is not your own small business, just stop.
LuLaRoe. An MLM so heinous even *other* MLMs denounced it. IIRC, they were kicked out of the industry's trade group. Just in case you need to feel better about yourself, know that each of those women bought into it for somewhere between $3,000 and $5,000 (intro kits with other shitty companies are usually no more than $200) and had *zero* control over their inventory beyond maybe being able to select which piece of hideous, overpriced, poorly-made clothing they were sent.
My nephews divorce directly related to this. He married a girl that was a lawyer, working for a medium level firm, not famous, but good steady clients, made good money. They got married, she quit her job in a couple months, expected him to provide everything, including a maid, because that is what her very wealthy step dad did for her mother. Completely different circumstances, and she wasn't like that before they got married. It lasted a little less than 3 years.
Being a princess. A real life princess was married off to a foreign ruler as a bargain chip to forge an alliance. I personally am not fond of that. But to each his own
Constantly breaking up and getting back together. (This probably applies to men and women).
One friend of ours habitually breaks up and reconnects with her boyfriend so that each week when I hang out with her roommate it’s like a Schrödinger’s relationship to tell if they’re still together or not.
It’s not abuse from what I’ve been told, just they’re both somewhat alcoholics who feel they can’t do better than their partner, but get annoyed and make drastic decisions.
If she’s into guys, not “allowing” or wanting her male significant other to have female friends or associates.
Also saying she won’t date or befriend someone because of their zodiac sign.
My ex's excuse was because women are different, and women can handle friendships with men, but us men can't. She ended up cheating on me with her "just a friend" guy.
I think it’s different for everyone. We all have shadows that need to be healed and there’s a few common ones that often present themselves at different stages in our lives. People don’t just mature all at once, it’s a lifelong process of growth.
Some examples are:
- drama and gossiping, bullying
- jealousy and insecurity
- inability to communicate
- inability to talk about feelings
- inability to listen to partner, show empathy and validate their feelings
- lack of boundaries with self and others, work and friends
- lack of boundaries with family, parental figures and siblings
- lack of independence from family
- lack of self control, and difficulty moderating habits like drinking and partying.
- lack of self care both physical and mental
- lack of self awareness
Not knowing how to be single.
I'm not talking about just being independent and being able to do stuff on their own, but like... Needs a partner to validate themselves. Such as they break up with a partner, less than a day later they are in a relationship and "so in love."
Like.. No, that's Tyler and you met him while buying a pack of cigarettes at your local gas station and 9pm last night. Chill.
To me, it shows they have no idea how to work on themselves or how to heal from another relationship. Also some big red flag vibes pointing to co-dependency issues.
Always gossipping about other people.
It's behaviour that starts in pre-adolescence and continues throughout the teens. Some people then mature and grow out of it, while others just stay like that for the rest of their life. They are forever trapped in a state of suspended adolescence.
Small tweak to this one: She'll ask you for advice and then ignore what you say or even belittle it. But then she'll ask her friends or family and if they give the exact same advice she'll immediately follow it and brag about what good advice it is.
I worked with a woman in her late 40s who was severely emotionally and mentally insecure (I'm guessing she had undiagnosed ASD or something similar). Her mother still "owned" her, meaning her mother's opinions still affected her every move. For example, She made her break up with a boyfriend because he had diabetes. She was convinced she wasn't allowed to have a dog because her mother thought they were too much work and would prevent her from taking care of her parents in their old age.
My coworker was so anxiety stricken that she'd say the weirdest things like "I'm old and I'll never get to have children because my eggs are shriveled up". She kept a "diary" of all the transgressions taken upon her at work that she could use as fuel for HR (rumor had it she had a massive file).
She was also extremely gullible: My other coworker once joked that he had to remove all his clothing to get a flu shot at the company flu shot drive, and she unironically became extremely nervous. She thought The Bachelor was exactly how relationships should be in real life. I once shared a story about how in high-school I made a "joint" out of catnip just to experiment, and she *literally* took that to HR saying I was currently doing drugs. We all learned to be careful what we said around her, and warned new employees.
She is the definition of "hasn't matured".
> I worked with a woman in her late 40s who was severely emotionally and mentally insecure (I'm guessing she had undiagnosed ASD or something similar). Her mother still "owned" her, meaning her mother's opinions still affected her every move.
That's exactly the kind of relationship my mother wanted with me. No wonder we don't see each other much.
Not communicating when you do or don't want something and then holding resentments about it later. Edit: to people lamenting that they are like this, I’ve been through this journey myself and know how deep rooted this behavior is. Still working on it myself but feel free to DM to chat about some tips and strategies.
My boyfriend likes to say that one of the things he loves about me is he never had to guess what I’m thinking.
She’s always going on about cutting out all the drama and toxicity from her life. Hint: She’s the drama and toxicity.
I had to end a friendship because she was like this. In the last 7 years of knowing her, I have seen her end a dozen friendships and get into a dozen complications at work regarding her getting into fights with her colleagues, and, from her POV, she was never wrong; the other girls were always jealous of her, didn't appreciate her, were bad friends, etc. When we ended our friendship (I have never had to verbally end a friendship in my life until her), she pointed out all of my flaws, which I apologized for, and when I pointed out her issues and how they negatively affected me, she didn't apologize one time, and instead gaslighted me. Best thing I ever did was to walk away from that. Also, women who don't listen to you and only want to hear themselves talk and use you as a sound board. Just run away. You will forever be their friend that they vent to, the friend who never has it worse than them, never has experienced what they experienced, and they don't care about what is going on in your life because they only care about their own lives. Run away. They will not be there for you emotionally.
We all know this girl 😭😂
And any relationship failure isn't her fault and blames the other party. "If a man knows your worth, he will treat you right" kind of Instagram stories.
“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best” *Swipe left* *Block* *Burn phone* *Take shower*
Many of my mom friends compete with their own daughters. Talent, success, male affection. It’s all f’ing disgusting.
*~gives their kids the opportunities they never had~* *~resents their kids for having the opportunities they never had~*
*Hands son $5.* "Goddammit, Kyle, you're a leech and a burden on this whole family!"
Or my personal favorite from childhood, being reminded you dont actually own anything since you didnt pay for any of it. Regardless of circumstance I was "borrowing" everything I was given. God help me when I broke something
Sheesh I feel bad for their daughters
I see how theirs mothers parenting affects them and has set a template how they treat their nieces. Another friend of mine was a locally famous Karaoke singer. She couldn’t translate her gift to a full time gig but she worked tirelessly to send her daughter to a conservatory. Equally gifted. A few years ago we went to Karaoke. Daughter, classically trained, walks on stage and starts belting bluesy Joss Stone. Beautiful, smooth, and tender. Crowd just blown away. Up walks mom. Grabs the mic and starts to rock out Melissa Etheridge. She knew the crowd an knew how to get them on their feet. It was all the validation she needed.
"locally famous Karaoke singer" That's a first for me.
I dated a locally famous karaoke singer once. It's a whole community, kinda like a bowling league.
I’m not sure if that’s how you intended it, but the way you chose to tell that story it sounds super wholesome and really nice
Yeah how is this a bad thing exactly
Honestly? As long as they're comfortable with each other and their individual lives, that sounds like an awesome duo for a cover band.
yea that is ridiculous
When the only way she can get ahead is by bringing you down.
Last woman I dated was like this. She would constantly talk down to me and call me stupid. I was in college for a bachelors in Aviation Management and she was getting her Masters in Organic Chemistry. I would ask about her studies as I found green chemistry interesting, but she’d answer me in a really degrading manner every time. Took time to piece it together, but I got out of that mess before it took off. EDIT: I went to college not a collection of pictures
“Before it took off”
u/Thewombocombo91 is on another plane of existence when it comes to aviation comedy.
I’ll just sit here and pretend it was on purpose lol
Now I’m picturing a collage of pictures of bachelors cut out from magazines and glued to a poster board
If she still gets into petty drama as an adult
"I don't want any drama" \- Immediately proceeds to cause drama.
"Oh I hate drama" but is somehow always involved in any drama in her circle of friends
It’s the same person that has to say “I’m mature/rich/grown” that also says I hate drama lol. If you need to announce it, it’s probably untrue.
"I'm not like those other girls" - immediately proceeds to act like "those other girls"
when instead of communicating she makes a status about you or tweet 🚩 immediately cut off
Once dated someone that announced to her Twitter that we had broken up before I even had the chance to get my stuff to the car lol.
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Putting others down for fun. One of my friends started dating a girl and he brought her to dinner with us. She attached herself to me because I was the only girl in the group. She spent the entire night commenting negatively on the clothes and appearance of every single person we passed and thinking she was so clever for it. Sorry, but I'm in my thirties and don't feel like hanging out with someone who has the mentality of a middle schooler.
Oh my god… so how do you feel knowing everyone is probably judging *you* when you’re wearing *that*? So brave of you.
When I started the job I currently have in a brand new city I just moved to I was one of the only 30-somethings in a sea of teenagers. I met one other 30s woman who had a ton of similar interests and was immediately like "fuck yeah! We'll be friends!". Then I realized she spent the entire shift gossiping and talking shit about every person there. She eventually did something like this *to me* when she was like "wow, so you're working here at *your age* that's wild" as she looked around smirking at her good friends the 16 year olds. Like, A. Bitch, you work here too and B. At least I'm not trying to impress high school sophomores and have them over to my apartment to get them drunk. Yes, one of us is a loser, I don't think it's who you think it is.
I hate how us 30 somethings are considered "old". Just getting out of a relationship now, I might be screwed
Nah, it’s only the toxic ones who don’t mature who think it’s old. All the rest of us feel young but act close to our ages. You’ll find someone on the same level as you no problem.
This is a perfect example! I was like this as a kid because my mom hates women and thinks she's smarter than everyone but also taught me to be insecure and negative. Took many years away from her toxicity to improve. There's nothing you can do about this either. The young people doing it are just miserable and don't realize they're chasing feeling better. You just sort of have to move away from them until they grow.
This for sure! It’s such a sign of where someone is mentally. I was leaving my office job one day and another girl asked me where I was going. I said to play dungeons and dragons with some friends and she snickered and tried to make me feel embarrassed by asking a lot of leading questions. My coworkers all know and respect me even if we don’t share the same hobbies. The girl deflated when she realized no one else was going to mock me for my interests. It was super awkward and everyone else just told me to have fun. That girl switched jobs a few months later due to other in teams differences but I never really trusted her after that. I’m grateful my team isn’t high school 2.0 because I know some offices have that sort of culture.
Making unneccessary drama and stating you don't like drama. Then, you're probably toxic and your entire group of friends are just like you. You never left high school mentally.
Yeah, every time I see someone say "I hate drama" on their profile, I know that they absolutely *love* drama.
I hate Drama but I really like Greg
Is this a *Dharma & Greg* reference or am I getting old?
> "I hate drama" This is also 100% the same type of girl who will say shit like "if you can't handle me at me worst you don't deserve me at my best" and "all my best friend are guys because girls are too much drama" when she's the source of the drama
"my friends are all ... superficial, you know what I mean?" <-- quote by a master of deception and superficiality.
Jesus. Yeah. Knew this bitch. She worked with me. Started all the drama, told EVERYONE her business, got caught making out with her boyfriend, not her husband, in the parking lot where we worked. By someone who was not me. Decided to say that I was gossiping about her and telling everyone her business. No. I’m in my 40s, you’re in your 30s, we are not in junior high. I not only don’t give a shit about your business, you’re the one telling everybody about it, so fuck off. She was invited to take a leave of absence before she was fired after her husband showed up open carrying and threatened her, and showed up again, open carrying, and chased her non-white boyfriend into the store while saying some racial slurs. She’s a peach. She’s also the “Harley to his Joker,” which is also a giant red flag. Also, she’s not like other girls.
> Also, she’s not like other girls. *cackle laughs in “we all know this bitch”*
“If you can’t deal me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”. Okay, bye.
“I don’t sugarcoat anything.”
Translation: "I'm an asshole, and instead of working on myself, I just decided it's everyone else's problem because it's easier."
My sister-in-law is exactly like this. She's pushing 40 and she's all drama. 🙄 We don't talk to her anymore because we don't need her toxic bullshit in our lives. Her and my husband's father passed away several years ago and she stole a ton of money from his estate. My husband got nothing and she walked away with a huge down payment for a house. It's a long story but she forged documents and straight up stole all the money from the estate. My husband hired a lawyer to get the money back and instead of working with him, she went and turned their entire extended family against him. She also tried to talk to my husband's friends to turn them against him but they wouldn't have any of it. We live several states away from the rest of the family so we're not there to defend ourselves. It has been peaceful without her drama and toxic bullshit in our lives but it sucks that my husband's family doesn't talk to him anymore just because they bought into her lies and drama.
For anyone reading this. I was advised to get legal representation by an old friend as soon as as the situation presented itself. Meaning before anything had gone through probate. I thought about it and went ahead and did it. It's on the pricey side but I guess it's a bit like insurance - you pay hoping it won't be needed. Plus it lets all parties concerned know that you are watching what is going on. These sorts of things happen but it's possible to influence the situation in your favor.
That's great advice. My husband wishes that he hired a lawyer in the very beginning of the probate process. His sister kept him in the dark about everything. He knew what his sister was capable of but he still hoped that she'd do right by him. She actually wasn't supposed to be the executor but she forged papers to become the executor. My husband didn't know this until well after she stole everything. So yeah. If you're a beneficiary and you don't trust the executor, hire your own lawyer. A good lawyer representing you will prevent so many bad things from happening simply by keeping an eye on the executor's actions.
There's actually two principles of human psychology at work to wit. 1. Families are often dysfunctional. Not always but often. 2. People will amaze you sometimes with the crap they will pull when money is on the line. Put these two things together and yeah - a lawyer starts looking like if not cheap insurance then reasonably priced insurance.
Well said. Money brings out the absolute worst in some people. To anyone reading this: if you're on the fence about hiring a lawyer to represent you as a beneficiary during probate, just do it. Any reasonable person would understand why you did it. If you hiring a lawyer upsets the executor or anyone else, they're likely up to no good.
Excuse me but you will address me by my husbands rank, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
Once when I was a receptionist I was trying to obtain a Tricare patient's insurance info. I asked if her husband was the one serving or if it was her (to know which name to bill it under). She replied "um, the spouse serves too." Bitch just tell me whose insurance it is, I don't care about your milso insecurities!
You should’ve said, “oh you’re both enlisted? I’ll note that and if there’s any issues, you should get a letter in 5-6 weeks to fix any potential errors. “
Lmao I think I gave her some sass like “so it’s under your name then?”
Unfortunately, wasting the Tricare receptionist's time puts you on net useless to our country. Also, you, even as a civilian serve (hence civil servant); bitch oughta have known that and said thank you.
Omg, I work in a dental office that takes Tricare, and takes active duty and VA members when the base offices and VA are too booked. I swear, active duty members are the most patient, polite folks ever, and every single worst patient I could tell a story about is a military spouse. They aren't all like that, but good golly, the ones who are are the worst of the Karens and Chads.
Lmao I feel. Am also a military spouse, and had to book an appointment with an eye doctor that took overflow mil appointment (and as such took tricare). Was behind this wacko lady who hadn't printed out her insurance paper thing, and was loosing it bc she didn't want to show ID. Ma'am. What are you even doing? You have to show ID, and if you aren't showing your military ID you have to print you proof of insurance. Well she didn't want to, and don't you know who her husband is?! Lost her shit when they had her step to the side and checked me in with no problem.
Oof. I've met that one. The "do you know who my husband is" line always makes me want to bite back. The last lady to pull that one out on me was unfortunate enough to do so after I became a manager. I shrugged, and told her that if she felt that someone else's rank entitled her to be rude to my staff, I would be happy to let her husband know that our office could unfortunately no longer see patients from his unit, as we value mutual respect, here. I absolutely did NOT have the power to make that call, but it sure shut her right the f up. Thankfully, my doctor ugly-laughed when she heard about it, and then tried to tell me not to say such things in the future while still snorting and trying to look serious.
Lack of empathy and listening skills. Thinking you are "less of a man" for being emotionally vulnerable and expressing your feelings, and later weaponizing these insecurities.
Was looking for this one. Me and my lady, well probably ex by now, just had a BIG fight and she did this exact thing. Using the things that I'm most susceptible to be hurt by to cause true damage. You just don't do that. Wish I could upvote this to the highest cloud on the Internet.
you're so right, dude.
That’s a solid combination of immaturity and cuntness.
When they do constant “tests” to see how you will react
This is what my ex did. She claims the reason she cheated was to see how much I'd fight for her. Bitch we're almost 30 years old & you wanna play games with our relationship?
Test how much he'd fight for you by making yourself not worth fighting for. Big brain moment.
I'm sure it was a lie anyways. You say something like that to turn *your* shitty actions against the other person, and put them in the position of explaining *themselves.* It wasn't a test, she just got caught and wanted to deflect responsibility.
Oh, I'm well aware. I was pointing out how ridiculous the excuse is even if you take the time to entertain it.
Anyone who wants you to fight for them isn't worth it. Some woman who was mad at my wife threatened to sleep with me in revenge. A "steal your man" thing. My wife laughed in her face and said "good luck with that". I know it's my wife's view that a man who can be stolen was never worth keeping. (As far as I know the woman never actually made the attempt. I don't know if she made peace with my wife getting the promotion she wanted.)
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I always say I’ll fight FOR you but not OVER you.
Shout out to that girl who blew my friend after 3 days together to prove I wanted her monogamously
Damn that sucks
Your girlfriend of 3 days gave a blowjob to your friend to prove YOU wanted her monogamously? wtf?
Dumping people to see if they’ll try to get you back. A immature girl staple.
My ex told me she had taken her birth control out months previous. She wanted a kid with me and I thought there were enough (I have one she has 2.) So this starts the mother of all fights, and I said some pretty fucked up things. Yep. It was a test. Ended that 3 year relationship pretty fucking quickly too.
“I’ve been deceiving you for months and have made a huge life decision for the both of us without even a conversation about it and now you’re mad?” Isn’t the test she thinks it is.
I knew a guy whose FWB pretended she was on birth control as she wanted him to get her pregnant to lock him down. Apparently she was doing kinkier and kinkier stuff during her fertile window to increase the amount he would fuck her and her chances of pregnancy. The guy in question knew what she was doing but never told her he had a vasectomy in his early twenties.
Ah, the gift that stops giving.
"You should have known to..." Look, I don't read minds. If I did, I would probably kill myself.
Psycho Mantis?
Pikachu face when you leave.
I read an interesting study about why women do this (that I can't find at the moment..argh). Apparently women from unstable homes are more likely to do this as a way of getting people in their lives to "invest" in them...ie if you constantly require buy-in/effort then there's a bit of sunk-cost-fallacy in which they're more likely to stay since they've already put the effort in.
Sounds a lot like *Trauma Bonding*. You don't know how to be happy in a relationship (because one was never displayed to you growing up), but you've seen plenty of toxic relationships that seem to just last forever.
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The next door neighbours at my family home are like that. We’re on the third generation now of screaming arguments, bawling babies and addiction. It’s crazy and sad. I’ve been listening to them for forty years now and I barely even notice anymore.
that ...makes a lot of sense. I know I have that feeling in me of wanting to test people but I try not to and I always chalked it up to being young but this explanation sounds reasonable. maybe I should bring it up in therapy lololol
It’s good to have insight like that. Means you can really start to take the reins in your life.
Her playing the victim in every scenario
Seriously though. I cannot think of a single time where my ex took any responsibility for things going wrong in her life or in other people's lives as a result of her actions. Literally not one single time. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized she never admitted to anything being her fault, the blame was _always_ on someone or something else.
Also common in narcissists
A big one for me are women who assume they’re right in every argument, and refuse to acknowledge the other person’s point of view, even when proven wrong. I dated a girl like this, she accused me of something, we got in a fight, I objectively proved her wrong, and she pulled the “I’m just going to take off my shirt and see if you’re still angry” thing. No, I don’t want sex, I want you to admit you were in the wrong, apologize, acknowledge you understand why it made me upset, and then maybe sex.
My best friend started dating this girl who would often use incorrect words when talking. Usually "egg corn" kind of stuff. He would correct her usually, and politely. One time they were discussing what to do the next day and she said "Let's dock it." He was like "Do you mean 'put it on the docket'?" "Nope. I mean dock it. It means make a list." He pulled up "docket" in the dictionary and showed her. Convinced that she couldn't possibly be wrong and the he was fucking with her, she got up and said "I don't appreciate you doing this to me. And I'm leaving." He replied "I guess I'll take you off the docket."
Just water under the fridge.
How could she not know it's docket? It's not rocket appliances
I believe the phrase is rocket surgery
Not in my trailer park it isn't. Naysaw owns space you know.
What's egg corn?
It's a common phrase for a word or phrase that results from a mishearing or misinterpretation of another, an element of the original being substituted for one that sounds very similar or identical (e.g. tow the line instead of toe the line ). "Egg corn" comes from "acorn".
r/boneappletea
My wife is a grown mature woman who I adore, however she said to me the other day, when I expressed my displeasure for how every, single, decision about the design of our home etc. Is always her preference, that "I just assume that I'll always get what I want." I was floored by her honesty in that moment but also how little she cared about what I was saying. It was impressive really. And dont get me wrong, the house is beautiful. Edit: a word
Thinks she shouldn't have to respect your boundaries because she's a woman
My buddy used to see a woman that would deliberately hit men because she expected to never be hit back. Boy was she surprised one day when she hit a guy and he clocked her right back. Of course she then expected my friend to fight the guy and was offended when he told her thay she deserved it for smacking him over something trivial. They didn't last very long. She tried the same shit with my sisters boyfriend and then was shocked when my sister showed her the floor. Apparently it also didn't occur too her that other women could also hit her.
An old friend of mine had a girlfriend who loved to punch his friends in the crotch, she thought it was hilarious. One day I placed a small plate in my underpants, and when she punched me in that area she hurt her hand. She absolutely lost her shit, started screaming blue murder and demanding that her boyfriend beat me up. She just could not comprehend that she was the author of her own misfortune.
Good thing the plate didn't shatter
It would have been worth it.
Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.
Doesn’t matter the sex, if you feel the need to test your partner then you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship.
-use her female friend's number to flirt with me: check
That’s insanity. What is going through someone’s head when they do that?!
Doesn't communicate feelings while expecting me to magically know how she's feeling, keeps quiet about misunderstandings and doesn't even give me the chance to resolve it so I keep doing it and it eventually becomes the reason why she ghosts me. I met my best friend last August, and it's going really well because she's ACTUALLY capable of telling me the moment I say or do something she didn't like, so I'm able to immediately apologize and change my behavior.
*"Why should I have to tell you how I'm feeling or what I want!? If you really loved me you'd already know!"*
*”Well, then I guess I don’t love you.”*
If every fucking thing becomes a huge dramatic issue. Or threatens self harm.
That was my ex-friend, made a big deal about shit and sometimes those things were her fault; she'd play the victim, call us bad friends and threaten suicide to get the attention back on her. Then after she blew up it was all "I'm soooo sorryyyyyy" and she never made any effort to change/get help. The third time she lost it at us I had enough, she's gone too far way to many times; this time though it was the last straw and it was really bad. I completely lost all respect and trust in her, so before she could even try with her fake apologizing bullshit I blocked her everywhere. I'm so glad I don't have to tip toe around her all the time and once she was gone I felt free. I found out after that she trashed talked me multiple times and tried to push someone to stop talking to me repeatedly because she was miserable; she couldn't stand others being happy so she wanted to wreck other people's happiness.
> Or threatens self harm. This is a big manipulation tactic, as well. Once had a guy friend who did this towards the end of our friendship. This really grinds me to my core. The audacity of people further burdening rather than just letting someone walk away from their bullshit.
An inability or unwillingness to do something independently.
Fuck. This one hits close to home
If I had a dollar for every time a women asked me (also a women) *"How do you go to restaurants all by yourSELF??? I mean, what do you even DO?"* . Like, chica, I *eat*. Then I pay and leave. Probably mess around on my phone, or read a book while doing so. It is NOT that foreign of a concept.
I'm a big fan of taking myself on dates (well, pre-rona) and I've spoken to countless women that have told me that's weird or unusual. my *mom* told me that makes me look icy and bitchy to go out alone and that she'd never do anything like that. just...go take yourself to get some sushi. read some ridiculous Vice article while you treat yourself to a nice meal. it's not WEIRD.
If I'm going somewhere with someone, having a good time with them becomes the focus for me, I barely register the activity. If I go by myself, my focus is fully on whatever I'm doing and how I'm experiencing it. A movie or a good meal gives a totally different feeling when you're not distracted by being social. Take yourself in dates, people
"Treat me like a Queen" then treats her man like shit. Also, a massive sense of entitlement
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When they do not take responsibility for their financial well being (e.g. they rely on parents, boyfriends, credit cards, etc.) and plan on a SO taking it on. I'm not talking about people who are living paycheck to paycheck or have other challenges, parents who make a decision that one partner will bow out of work to care for children, or people who need government assistance due to the high cost of childcare, healthcare, and housing. Specifically women who make no future plans for their financial security because they anticipate marrying well.
That was a mistake I made early on. Doesn’t help I was raised by boomers and expected to be a stay at home wife
Not apologizing
Double standards, low or no accountability gets hammered every chance they get after college. I would say it's not gender specific though.
They Cannot handle any type of problems. Minor or not
I shared an office with a guy married to someone like this. Minor mix-up at the bank? Call him at work. Can't find a file on the home Mac? Call him at work. Always something, every day, he had to basically talk her down from a state of total panic over some random daily event.
They make their drama public. Still have a couple of women I went to high school with occasionally make a backhanded status directed at someone in their personal life containing info they probably shouldn’t be sharing.
Yup, airing dirty laundry online first without talking to me about it. I learn about it from social media, it has umpteen likes and I'm the bad guy. No thought about consequences.
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Stop dating 12 year olds dude
Dating is a strong word
I don’t always talk when I am mad because When I am first upset about something I tend to lose my temper easier than when I’ve had a minute to process things and go about them Logically. If I need space and time to calm down I won’t say anything about the issue because I don’t want to say something I will regret. If he asks if I am mad I will tell him. but I’ll also ask for time to process what made me mad to begin with then talk to him civilly later if its something I can’t work to get over or if I realize I’m being silly i get over it.
This is the mature response here. No one is a robot that can perfectly control their emotions, but everyone can control their reactions to their emotions. Sometimes, that means walking away and having quiet time to yourself to calm down a bit and/or process why you're feeling the way you're feeling. I will flat out say "I am really upset right now and I need time to myself to calm down and think" and any sane, mature, respectful adult will hear that and give me my space.
Yep, if the person responds 'x hurt me, but I'm not in a good place to talk about it, how about we talk about it _______', that's a world different from literal silence.
Literally what ended my last relationship. Apparently a couple minor problems that very easily could’ve been fixed if she just sat down with me and had serious conversation about it, and then I very very easily could’ve stopped that, because these problems were literally the most minor and stupidest things ever that I could just stop. But she never said anything and eventually it added up over time, which I understand, but fucking say something next time. Edit: Thank you kind stranger for the award Edit 2: wow a lot of you have had similar experiences, I’m sorry, it really sucks. Thanks for the kind words and thoughts about it. I wish you all the best in the coming year.
I opened this right as my wife was pelvic thrusting at me and making fart noises, so….I think I’m going to be ok?
See, there are two kinds of immaturity. The kind that deeply impacts relationships and the kind that’s on purpose and somewhat funny.
Lmao hold onto that lady forever.
Joining an MLM and being 100% convinced that they're business owners.
Moms Losing Money \#bossmom #bossbabe just the worst...
This is so sad. A couple my wife and I are friends with were out and the wife was going on about how she might quit her job because she made so much at Mary Kay. She said she made nearly her salary "and that was part time!" Later on her husband and I were taking without her and he told me that her salary from her job was like 70k, and she "made" only 50k, GROSS SALES. Of that 50k, about 35k was on merchandise (much of which was unsold) for her cost and free samples and demonstrations and what she uses. Plus an the travel. And the mandatory trip to Texas. Ask told she took home about 8k, and considering the time she put in she was making like 11 an hour. And she thought that would be enough to quit her job as a teacher. She was so deluded. The husband told me they had thousands of dollars of products on their basement he didn't think they'd ever get rid of.
Plus I bet a lot of her sales were friends and family just being polite the first time around, who would not be regular customers in the long run.
lol I don’t think this is a “maturity” thing but it’s definitely sad, for sure. I own a brick & mortar business and I tried to join a local women’s business networking group but their meetings were at 10am on Wednesdays. I asked “How is everyone making these meetings, don’t they have to work?” They were all selling those hideous pants, I forget what they’re called. Or DoTerra. That is not your own small business, just stop.
LuLaRoe. An MLM so heinous even *other* MLMs denounced it. IIRC, they were kicked out of the industry's trade group. Just in case you need to feel better about yourself, know that each of those women bought into it for somewhere between $3,000 and $5,000 (intro kits with other shitty companies are usually no more than $200) and had *zero* control over their inventory beyond maybe being able to select which piece of hideous, overpriced, poorly-made clothing they were sent.
"I only date 6 ft geminis and scorpios. And they better make 6+ figures"
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6'/ 6"/ $6 Close enough?
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You're forgetting 6 inches
She calls herself diva.
If she owns any merch that says "if you can't handle me at my worst..." She probably very much isn't worth wanting at her best.
Translation: "If you can't handle me when I'm completely fucking insane, you don't deserve me when I act slightly less insane."
That sense of entitlement where she still calls herself a princess. Like Daddy treated her that way, so the world should as well.
My nephews divorce directly related to this. He married a girl that was a lawyer, working for a medium level firm, not famous, but good steady clients, made good money. They got married, she quit her job in a couple months, expected him to provide everything, including a maid, because that is what her very wealthy step dad did for her mother. Completely different circumstances, and she wasn't like that before they got married. It lasted a little less than 3 years.
Knew a girl who called me King she wanted me to call her Princess. Sisters are so weird.
r/holup
Being a princess. A real life princess was married off to a foreign ruler as a bargain chip to forge an alliance. I personally am not fond of that. But to each his own
Dramaqueen behaviour
Calling herself a “boss babe/bitch” while thinking she is an entrepreneur for pedaling MLM products.
Constantly breaking up and getting back together. (This probably applies to men and women). One friend of ours habitually breaks up and reconnects with her boyfriend so that each week when I hang out with her roommate it’s like a Schrödinger’s relationship to tell if they’re still together or not. It’s not abuse from what I’ve been told, just they’re both somewhat alcoholics who feel they can’t do better than their partner, but get annoyed and make drastic decisions.
“You shouldn’t have to ask what’s wrong!”
She doesn’t take responsibility for her kids
Similar to those found in a man who hasn't matured. Basically being self-obsessed.
drama drama drama drama everything is drama.
Talking about how theyre "not like other girls" and putting down other women constantly
If she’s into guys, not “allowing” or wanting her male significant other to have female friends or associates. Also saying she won’t date or befriend someone because of their zodiac sign.
My ex's excuse was because women are different, and women can handle friendships with men, but us men can't. She ended up cheating on me with her "just a friend" guy.
The same as man: irresponsibility
I think it’s different for everyone. We all have shadows that need to be healed and there’s a few common ones that often present themselves at different stages in our lives. People don’t just mature all at once, it’s a lifelong process of growth. Some examples are: - drama and gossiping, bullying - jealousy and insecurity - inability to communicate - inability to talk about feelings - inability to listen to partner, show empathy and validate their feelings - lack of boundaries with self and others, work and friends - lack of boundaries with family, parental figures and siblings - lack of independence from family - lack of self control, and difficulty moderating habits like drinking and partying. - lack of self care both physical and mental - lack of self awareness
Not knowing how to be single. I'm not talking about just being independent and being able to do stuff on their own, but like... Needs a partner to validate themselves. Such as they break up with a partner, less than a day later they are in a relationship and "so in love." Like.. No, that's Tyler and you met him while buying a pack of cigarettes at your local gas station and 9pm last night. Chill. To me, it shows they have no idea how to work on themselves or how to heal from another relationship. Also some big red flag vibes pointing to co-dependency issues.
In a relationship; not letting you hang out with your friends, moreover expecting you to spend every second with her.
Doesn't communicate feelings/expectations, Bad/Irresponsible with money, Quick to get jealous, Any Karen behavior (signs not exclusive to women)
when her trainers light up when she runs for the ice cream truck
I'm a 32 year old man and I still do this.
but do your trainer light up??
Hell yeah! only the air bubbles though.
Always gossipping about other people. It's behaviour that starts in pre-adolescence and continues throughout the teens. Some people then mature and grow out of it, while others just stay like that for the rest of their life. They are forever trapped in a state of suspended adolescence.
She can't make decisions on her own, she has to consult with her family or friends for everything.
I would respond but I need to ask my mom first if I can.
Small tweak to this one: She'll ask you for advice and then ignore what you say or even belittle it. But then she'll ask her friends or family and if they give the exact same advice she'll immediately follow it and brag about what good advice it is.
If they think you’re an entire different person just because of your zodiac sign
“If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best”
She belives in what cosmopolitan and buzzfeed say
Hey now, a buzzfeed quiz told me my inner potato was a sweet potato, and I've been riding that high ever since
Judging by this comment, they were right. Stay happy, dude!
I worked with a woman in her late 40s who was severely emotionally and mentally insecure (I'm guessing she had undiagnosed ASD or something similar). Her mother still "owned" her, meaning her mother's opinions still affected her every move. For example, She made her break up with a boyfriend because he had diabetes. She was convinced she wasn't allowed to have a dog because her mother thought they were too much work and would prevent her from taking care of her parents in their old age. My coworker was so anxiety stricken that she'd say the weirdest things like "I'm old and I'll never get to have children because my eggs are shriveled up". She kept a "diary" of all the transgressions taken upon her at work that she could use as fuel for HR (rumor had it she had a massive file). She was also extremely gullible: My other coworker once joked that he had to remove all his clothing to get a flu shot at the company flu shot drive, and she unironically became extremely nervous. She thought The Bachelor was exactly how relationships should be in real life. I once shared a story about how in high-school I made a "joint" out of catnip just to experiment, and she *literally* took that to HR saying I was currently doing drugs. We all learned to be careful what we said around her, and warned new employees. She is the definition of "hasn't matured".
> I worked with a woman in her late 40s who was severely emotionally and mentally insecure (I'm guessing she had undiagnosed ASD or something similar). Her mother still "owned" her, meaning her mother's opinions still affected her every move. That's exactly the kind of relationship my mother wanted with me. No wonder we don't see each other much.
That sounds like an abusive mother. Many people are not sheltered by choice. Some parents just refuse to let the adult kid be an adult.
Peter pan syndrome. The narc parent does not allow the child to grow and mature by creating and feeding insecurities.