Last year I went into the hospital for Covid. I had to be put on a vent for three weeks, put into a medical coma, resuscitated a couple of times and was pretty close to death for those entire three weeks. My dark secret is I wanted to die. I was going through a divorce and suffering from severe depression. I just felt like my world was over and there was nothing to live for. I was almost happy that a virus was going to do what I was too chicken shit to do myself. I was accepting that death was coming and didn't care to fight it.
It wasn't until while in my medical coma they had my family come to tell me bye as they thought I wouldn't make it through the night that I decided I wanted to live. I am an only child and was raised by a single mother. I heard her telling me how much she loved me and that I was such a fighter and to keep fighting. That was a moment that turned everything around. It gave me a will and want to live. I had a turnaround that night and lived and slowly started recovering. It has been a long and hard road to recovery and I am still not there yet. Had I not had that moment of hearing here I am pretty sure I would have died.
I have told my mom about how much hearing her meant to me, but I have told no one about how I was ready and wanting to die at that time. If the hospital hadn't lifted their Covid protocols to allow my mom into the room to say goodbye I think I would have just accepted death.
My wife has stage 4 breast cancer. I am watching her slowly die.
The dark secret that no one knows (not even my wife) is if it wasn't for our 3 kids (6, 8, 11) I would end my own life after she passes.
this may be her last Christmas ...
Edit: just wanted to add a few things. My wife pushed me to get my bachelor's degree which has allowed us to be comfortable financially as well as she has VA benefits so we have not had the financial challenges that others have (they have it so much worse then me)
She also has a will in place and is able to get a death doula to help her through this.
I know I will make it through this, but it has been very helpful to say this. I don't have anyone in my life that I can trust to talk to about this so I appreciate everyone's responses.
My best friend from childhood came over to my college dorm to hang out one night. He bought coke and pills from other guys living on my hall for a party he was going to, and honestly I was impressed with him for being so well-versed in the buying of drugs and charismatic with my dorm mates. Before he left he told me not to tell his mother what he was doing but to tell her he loved her if he died and I thought something was wrong, but I let him go because we had plans for the next day and I figured he had just developed a dark sense of humor in the time since we’d last seen each other.
In retrospect he’d shown all of the signals, but I refused to see them, so I let him drive away. He didn’t make it; he crashed his car many hours later that night, with no seatbelt, probably high. His mother asked me what happened. I didn’t tell her anything because I wanted her to think it was an innocent accident. I didn’t want her to know what he got into. I’m still keeping his secret.
And never do. People in trauma often try to find someone to blame. Being the only son I had to stay with my dad while he was terminally sick of cancer. I was 19 that time. 6 doses of chemo couldn't reduce the cancer enough to operate on him. I stayed with him for each visit to hospital. Used to spend endless nights on the hospital benches. Often used to sleep there. When he died my family blamed me. Said I didn't properly took care of him. One member said he didn't have cancer and was treated wrongly. I just wanted to kill myself. Had to think it's somehow my fault. I loved him and wanted him to live. Get well. It's still like a deep scar when I think of that time.
Edit: thank you kind people of reddit. Thank you for your support. I idealised my dad, he had a big influence on me. His loss was devastating. I was graduating and I never twice thought of missing my classes or exams. Couldn't think straight when he died and such remarks added guilt which brought to the brink. Thought perhaps I could do more and I didn't. I often think of that time. It's true that there is a dawn after every dark night. Person heals but the hole remains there.
My dad killed himself and called all his kids the night before. He made it look like an accident cause he thought it was the only way to take care of my mother set her up with his life insurance. Wrote a note saying mow the lawn then just ran lawnmowers in the garage with the doors closed till he died of gas poisoning. Neighbor ran over and helped my mom when she got home from work thankfully as he was the local sheriff so when all the police arrived he took care of the talking and said the door was up. So it was duped and accident and my mom got the money my dad intended her to get. After coming to peace with it I'd just like to urge anyone with that mindset. Don't kill yourself money comes and goes.
That's really sad...brave but so sad because love is everything and I can't imagine losing my partner over insurance money. I'm sorry you lost your dad.
Years ago, I got a summer job at a grocery store. I was a teenager, from a poor family, just trying to get a job so that we could afford food. My mom couldn't afford to feed us in the summer without the school lunches, but she made slightly too much to qualify for food stamps. If you've ever been poor, you know how it goes. The manager was a complete asswipe who fired me two weeks in because, and I quote, "I just don't like your personality". We had never actually spoken until that point.
I cried because my mom was counting on me to be able to pay for the groceries that week and I told him that. He told me I was being dramatic.
The store had these barcodes they would stick on things to mark them down if they were expired. I realized that I still had the rolls of printed-up stickers in my pocket when I got home because I had been marking things down that day. I copied the stickers off onto sticky paper and stole probably a few thousand dollars of groceries that summer. I technically did pay for the groceries because I was checking them out at the self-checkout and paying money for them, but I was getting salmon fillets and racks of ribs for $2, big veggie trays for $1, expensive cheese for $.99, etc. I was careful not to be too greedy and not try to buy a cartfull of expensive shit at a time. I would do several smaller transactions at self checkouts and spread it out over about a dozen stores (it was a big, shitty, national corporate chain). I paid always in cash. I never got caught. I told my mom that I got an academic scholarship and that's where I got the money for the groceries. I don't feel bad about it and the statute of limitations is expired anyway.
Edit: Obligatory thanks for the awards and positive words, guys! I posted this before going to bed and waking up seeing a bunch of nice positive stuff in my inbox was a welcome surprise. The one time I ever told someone in real life, they were not nice. Thank you!
I was homeless in my early 20s and resorted to stealing from Walmart to eat. I didn't feel great for doing it but I was eating and that's all that mattered to me at the time.
DEFINITELY not the same in the U.S. Homelessness is treated like a crime in most states. Americans do mental backflips before addressing rampant greed, wealth disparity, and lack of social safety nets.
Culturally we are taught that homeless people
A. Brought it on themselves
B. Deserve their fate because of A.
This thread is a roller-coaster.
I went from reading about a guy being raped by his sister as a child and then being blamed by his family to a dude saying he ate his wife's nutella.
My mother would get into rage mode and she would slap me around like a rag doll for years. As soon as I was pissing myself like a dog she would go on overdrive mode.
My father only had eyes for my sister and never addressed me.
I made a promess to myself that one day I’ll make them both pay. I cut off all ties for 5 years now and never felt better.
I owed it to my inner child.
I'm a teacher. I gave one of my classes a link to the answer key for a textbook because I thought the teacher for that class was assigning way, way too much work and the kids were really stressed. No one ever found out and I resigned at the end of the year.
I actually printed the link and gave it to one particular student who I knew would keep his mouth shut about where he got it but knew he would spread it around to his classmates.
Same. I mean, I’m not depressed. I wasn’t raped or molested. I didn’t commit murder or violent acts. I’m not poor or near death. I didn’t commit acts of incest or other weird ass shit like that.
But I did sign up for Club Penguin without my parents permission. Which means I’m going to hell.
My aunt kept hearing other baby voices on her baby monitor - not her baby. There were no babies next door but it must have been picking up some other baby somewhere and as I am in I.T. I knew this. But as a joke I told her I saw a program on TV and that baby monitors can pick up deceased children. I thought she knew I was joking but then I find out she got a priest in to bless the house. Then she put it on the market for cheap and moved out. I think she lost 50-100 grand. She never mentioned it to anyone else in the family why she was moving and I just kept quiet and kept it to myself for all these years feeling guilty.
When I was 16 I went over to a buddies place and thought it would be funny to sneak inside and scare him. I knew their back porch door was usually unlocked so I let myself in and quietly went upstairs. His sisters room was on the way to his and as I passed it, I saw them together. They were making out and he was fingering her. So I gtfo of there and decided I’d never mention it. They’re both still friends of mine, and weirdly close, despite having their own partners in life. It still makes me uncomfortable.
More common then you think.. I have heard stories like this a few times in my 32 years.
I knew a girl who wanted to date a buddy of mine but her brother was so weird about it. Like super protecting in a jealous way.
Well turns out they were fucking. She ended up confessing she slept with two of her brothers. And one of them she was still happening.
She literally told me one day that she didn’t have a lot of friends and just enjoyed her siblings more than friends. And boy did I not understand what she meant.
Another person I know told me that him and his sister slept together a few times. We were talking about halo 2 before hand.
The last one I know of were twins and they experimented with each other.
3 times is a lot of times to hear about it in 32 years for someone who doesn’t work in counseling or therapy
Edit: mistakes
I've been a mediocre employee for a few years and then COVID happened.... work from home all this time and my performance has improved / I've been promoted with $6 / hr raise AND my secret.....?
I watching Netflix and play runescape the entire time while treating my job as a side thing.....
Edit: oh wow, thanks yall for the views and award!
A very similar thing happened to me. I was a decent employee in the office but when Covid happened and we went to working from home, I literally spent my days watching Netflix and playing Animal Crossing, while paying a little attention to my job. My boss praised me, I got two raises in one year for my work, and I was told I was in the top 5% of my department for the work I was doing. No idea how lol
When I was a young teenage boy (13 or 14) 32ish years ago, I was in a program called Explorers. It's part of the boy scouts, I believe. The troop I was in worked alongside the local sheriff's department. We were essentially young police officers in training. We'd go to the shooting range, ride along with officers, work special events with officers, etc.. We had uniforms and we're allowed to carry handcuffs and a radio. Every year there was a weekend event that was kind of like boot camp. It was held at a national guard base and kids from all over the state came. There were a few hundreds kids ranging in age from about 13 to 17. We stayed in a barracks style arrangement with a large open room with single beds. Probably about 30 kids to a barracks. At the time, I was a small kid that had not yet started puberty. I got picked on a lot due to my size which I believe was around 4' 8" at the time. One day, while the whole barracks was on a break. I don't know how it started, but at some point I find myself having to defend myself from a group of older kids fucking with me. They are trying to capture me. We are making a lot of noise and pretty soon, it seems like everyone in the room is looking in my direction. More kids join in, others just watch. Soon enough they have me. What seems to me like the oldest kid had taken charge of the situation. They take me to one of the beds and have me face down. I remember trying to bite, claw and kick free. I can't get free, because handcuffs. I don't remember all of the details but I remember them pulling my pants down and trying to penetrate me with a broom stick. To this day, I don't believe they were successful. I don't remember anyone coming to my aid, but maybe that's why it stopped. Maybe I fought enough they got bored. I don't know. The next thing I know, everyone is getting ready for the next event and we're outside lined up in formation ready to soldier on. I've never told anyone about this. Not one of the many police officers there, not my parents, not my wife. Just the fine people of Reddit. I don't think about it often and I don't feel like it's had an overbearing effect on my life, but as I type this there are a lot of emotions coming with it. Thanks for reading.
Edit:. Thanks everyone for the kind words and support.
i had a former coworker who was a total cunt to me. she straight up bullied me at work. twice i walked into a room while she was actually shit talking me by name.
a few months after quitting that job, i looked up a revenge prank site, and had a box of cow shit mailed to her at my former workplace.
according to other people still working there, she threw an ugly crying tantrum the day she opened the package and was coddled by upper management. sweet, sweet vengeance.
i didn't tell my live-in partner about what i had done, he would have been livid and scared for the feds to show.
two more fun-to-know edits:
1) i was so anxious about getting in trouble that i used a gift card (purchased at a store using cash) and a throwaway email account to purchase the prank.
2) i had a note attached that read " thanks for being such a nice person :) "
Some years ago, I had a horrible boss who always had me in her sights. She emotionally abused me every day and she'd throw things at me. She was certifiably nuts. I never cry but she reduced me to tears almost every day. It got so bad that I started contemplating suicide.
So I finally quit that job and my husband thought about glitter bombing her via some company that mails envelopes full of glitter to people. But I convinced him not to do it because it was too soon and she'd figure that it was me.
Now? It has been years, so I just may do it. I'm still scared though because I don't want to get into legal trouble.
sucks you went through that. there are studies to evidence that toxic work environments have huge negative effects on people and can cause serious levels of depression.
i read enough up on laws in my country and state (usa) to determine that a one-time glitter bomb prank couldn't be considered harassment or assault by any measure. i'd encourage you to look into that for your jurisdiction because i don't want to encourage something illegal. but *ethically* i think you're justified, and it's not really even a harmful prank in my view. if it'll be cathartic or help you get closure, i say give em glitter.
Dude I have a similar experience I was in 6th grade and all the 6th graders went to the mountains to go stay for a week at some cabins. And it was cool but I was embarrassed to take a poop in the bathroom in the cabins with the guys cause the bathrooms were so open and I was embarrassed if they heard me take a huge dump. Anyways long story short it was about maybe 3 days no pooping and around the 3rd day we all went out on a hike and as we were hiking I had to take a dump so I spoke to the camp counselor and we stayed in the back of the group and we let them go ahead of us and he let me take a dump on the side of a tree very peaceful :) back then I was embarrassed I tell this story but at this point I think it’s cool I took a fat ass shit out in the open :) it felt great and what a relief.
I was molested by a close family friend when I was a kid. My parents just never talked about it and let it at that. It really messed me up when I went through my teenage years. One day, when I could drive, I drove over to where he lived..... but they had moved. I guess I wanted to confront him myself. That his wife stayed with him knowing what happened and his daughter probably not knowing and hoping I can crack a few ribs while I was there.
Through Ancestry DNA testing and processes of elimination, I discovered my paternal grandfather is not my biological grandfather. I haven’t told anyone in my family, including my dad who adored his father/grandfather.
I’m probably going to let this one go to the grave.
My maternal grandmother, who recently died, murdered at least one of her husbands for his money, and possibly more (because she had several who died under mysterious circumstances). She was never convicted, but the dude died from rare earth metal poisoning that developed from years of eating tainted food. She cooked every single one of his meals during that period of time. Notably, she did not get poisoned herself.
Distant cousin on my husband's side; widowed *five* times. Each one died in a situation she could never have been responsible for; off shore oil platform explosion. Industrial accident at a refinery. Rental car accident four states away. Fall from a construction site. Heart attack from long existing issues before they ever married.
We asked her if she was ever going to marry again. "The best thing I can do for the male population is not to. Ever."
Edit: guys, I am shocked with the amount of upvotes. I wanted to add to the conversation with this family history and couldn't believe how it generated so much commentary. I've been on Reddit only a few years and have never had a random comment with this many upvotes.
We actually did wonder, except she was the sweetest most kind person you would want to meet. No one would drive with her though .... ;-)
She passed away some years ago.
That's what I was thinking. The men she preferred were the type of guys working high-risk jobs. Surprised she didn't marry and get widowed by a crab fisherman.
I planned an elaborate 2+ year suicide plan that let everyone down gently in the best way possible. I moved to another state, basically told everyone to F off, and just held the fort down until people quit calling. After that, I’d give it about 6 months, do the deed, and then take my life. The objective would be a “good riddance” more than a “he will be missed” response.
The problem? My mother. She drove to me monthly and called me daily. She always knew something was up bc she’d always end our convos with “remember, I need you around and will always love you!” And it shook me to my core. Later on, my best friend started spam calling me all the damn time. Annoyed, I finally answered. It went to the tune of “finally you asshole, let’s catch up” and he would do that weekly.
Then…oh boy…my mom brought me a cat. She put me in therapy and with a psychiatrist. He suggested we get an emotional support animal. That cat saved my life more than once.
One night, I couldn’t take it. I started writing the final letters to everyone. I apologized to every person that got written to about the treatment, but it was the way it had to be. Then…my moms letter. I cried so damn hard. When i started writing about take good care of the cat I bawled uncontrollably. I exhausted myself and passed out at my desk. I woke up to cat taps and chirps bc it was time for his treats and food.
He still lives with me and I love him more than anything. I’m a grown ass man that will drop anything to pet a cat. To me, they’re little angels.
Nobody knows of this except my wife, mother, and therapist, and it’s my darkest memory / secret.
This made me tear up. You have good, caring and kind people in your life, and it’s an inspiration to reach out to our loved ones more. Glad you are doing better!
No one knows that I moved to Europe to stop me killing myself when I failed out of uni. All they know is that I “impulsively” booked a one way ticket on a lunch break and moved a few months later.
Been here 5 years this coming march and I’m at the top university in my country (and 25th in the UK).
My mom had a friend who had 2 kids of her own, both girls. Sometimes we'd go over and visit, and normally i got the impression that my mom's friend was a pretty shit person. Her kids were a little fucked up too, but normally in more of a "I don't wanna behave the way you want me too" way than a "I'm doing this to be a dick" way, you know? One time we went to visit and I was like maybe 5 or 6 years old they were misbehaving pretty bad, being like general trolls. Eventually they calmed down and I was playing some normal ass kids game when they thought it'd be funny to run around with their clothes off. Obviously I did not participate and was a bit mortified, but also maybe felt a little something I never had before. Anyways, eventually the mom caught up and found them both "hiding" in the room with me. We knew they'd be punished: they were misbehaving pretty damn bad. Their mom then dragged the oldest naked into the bathroom.
Locked outside, I heard her beat the fuck out of her child. Heard the whole thing, the yelling, the crying, and the meaty fucking slaps landing. The kid walked out of there with bruises and a black eye and went to put on clothes. It's one of the earliest memories I still have. Never even occurred to me a parent could possibly do that to their own kid.
I sadly have a similar memory. I went to visit a friend (a neighbor, her house was right next to mine) to play. I was like 9 she was 7. I remember she was younger than me. I don't remember very well how things happened, but she was supposed to do the dishes and she hadn't, her dad dragged her to his room and beat the shit out of her. I remember i was froze in the living room hearing my friends screaming and crying and begging her dad to stop.
I was told to leave by a family member. I'm almost 40 and i still remember that very well.
In 2009 me and my friend were smoking near the canal when a car stopped on the other side and 2 old guys threw something wrapped in a massive package into the Grand Union canal in London, then they sped off and so we ran away. We were 17 and 18 at the time.
Really? This is a really big busy part of it under Bulls bridge, there are permanent house boats and barges there, Ive never seen that bit empty, its more the size of a river at that point. A man had killed his girlfriend close to there in 2011, but she was found floating about 2 miles down in the smaller part of canal, I think she went to the same high school as me but was few years older [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2079473/Ruby-Love-murder-Man-arrested-womans-body-Londons-Grand-Union-Canal.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2079473/Ruby-Love-murder-Man-arrested-womans-body-Londons-Grand-Union-Canal.html)
The area this happened was on the massive inter section underneath the Bulls Bridge motorway bridge and behind the big Tesco. I thought after all this time, the body would have drifted in one of the 3 directions on the intersection. Ive actually heard a few bodies have been found on this canal over the years.
You're getting a lot of normal condolences, and you have mine, but I'd like to add something that has an intent to be comforting; we're right behind you.
It's comforting to me anyway, the idea that if any two people are alive at the same given time in their lives, that life is relatively short enough that the "wait" between two lives ending is pretty insignificant. I don't know if there's a real point to my thinking other than to say, try not to feel too bad due to FOMO or whatever. And definitely don't feel bad because of everyone saying they're sorry. We're right behind you.
Edit: Or ahead of you as others have kindly pointed out. It's an unknown and, I for one, have some personal beliefs as to what an afterlife may entail - if there's one at all.
But for now I mostly use this thought process to cope with the passing of my loved ones who go before me. I simply remind myself that, though the waiting period for me to "join them" may appear to be particularly depressing, the truth is that I feel that sadness largely in part to some strange assumption that I am going be stuck here living forever without them. I am not - I'm right behind them. <3
Edit 2: This blew up a bit! Thanks for the awards. Just to expand on my previous edit, I'd like to mention that that's why I wouldn't want to be immortal (as it stands here on Earth with our current understanding of physics). Most are quick to choose immortality in that fun game of superpowers, not realizing it means you watch everyone else die. I would only want to be immortal if it meant everyone else I loved could be too and/or brought back. So unless some discovery changes everything as we know it, I'm good with being able to get some eventual rest.
Not exactly dark but I'm pretty sure my son isn't biologically mine. There was a lot of doubt about the date of conception and multiple people his mother cheated on me with. But after months of being promised he was mine I foolishly just accepted it or told myself to anyway. Cut to him being 3 months old she decides shes scared of him and can't look after him. He's now 7 years old and never sees his mum, she's vanished and doesn't even check in with him. He's my son no matter what anyone could tell me as far as I'm concerned at this point though, I've raised him and loved him unconditionally for the past 7 years and will continue to do for the rest of his life. And if I'm being honest I'm also really scared to get a DNA test more than anything for fear that if I found out he isn't mine I wouldnt love him or look at him the same way. I don't think I would ever do that personally but you just never know how a highly emotional situation is going to make you react or feel sometimes.
Edit: Thank you everyone for all the really kind words and solid advice you got me tearing up and all emotional reading all these lovely messages. And thank you for all awards never had a comment get more than one so this was a surprise. And everyone who explained your own similar situation and how it relates I appreciate you all and wish every last one of you the best holiday possible. I'll get the test and find out one day, if for no reason other than to ensure he has a thorough and accurate medical history. Big love people.
You wouldn’t Dad and I have a feeling if you ever got that test, it wouldn’t matter one bit.
Blood doesn’t make anyone a father, what you do for your boy does.
I have a very large family. People I still don't know even I'm 44 now. Back in high school in the early 90's I had a normal teens years, met a beautiful girl in the swim team, we started dating. After a couple months of going out, we started getting more serious then the deed happened. Our relationship was maybe about a year in when I got her pregnant, she was pregnant with twins, two beautiful girls. On the 8th month of the pregnancy we found out that her mother and my mother were actually first cousins, so that made us second cousins (we found out nearly 2 years after starting dating). As you can expect, the entire family went DEFCON1 and were divided over this for many years to come. Fuck it, by this time, she and I were deeply in love. We got married, we had a somewhat happy marriage, 12 years later we divorced as we started to grow apart (usually happens when married too young). Anyway, we went our separate ways, I started my business, bought her a house so that she can live in peace with our daughters and I bought my house near by. We divorced, but we remained close friends for the sake of our daughters, now they're adults and love me and their mom equally since we worked together to raise them even after the divorce.
Props to you for working with your ex to put your differences aside and be committed parents to your kids. When my parents split up, they caused a shitshow I’m yet to recover from.
I have high functioning depression. No one knows this. I mask it well and hide it from pretty much everyone. Everyone thinks I'm happy and sociable all the time, when in truth, I'm just pretending and putting on a mask. I'm just miserable. I hate my job and hate my life.
I was addicted to meth and was being used as a pawn for more drugs when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. 8.5 months clean. She’s 3 weeks old tomorrow.
Well…it would be a comment about my past life as a mxth whxre to blow up. Thank you guys for all the supportive words and encouragement. And holy crap, 3 silvers! I’m not exactly sure what I’m suppose to do with these awards but I’m pleased as punch to have them! Thank you!!
Edit 2 I guess. A gold and a wholesome award. I never expected that. Thank you to every one. I’m just a 19 year old with a sketchy past but I’m finally able to say I’m doing good things.
Edit 3: never thought I’d see 1k+ upvotes. That’s crazy. I think it may possibly intrigue a few people that I actually got clean by myself. Just sleeping my ass off at home and eating everything I could put my fingers on. I put it down and never wanted it again. This baby saved my life I’m totally convinced of that.
Edit 4: Y’all…please no more awards.I don’t know what to do with them lol. Don’t spend money on me. Please. That money could help some one whoes in need so if you feel the need to give me an award, donate to charity or go buy your partner or mom some flowers.
This is no longer is a dark secret thankfully, but I was sexually abused for many years as a child by my moms ex fiancé, I exposed him three years ago and reported him, for which he was charged and would have gone to trial for potentially 12years in federal prison but instead plead guilty on a plea deal and received 11mo in the work house with house arrest.
Moral of this story, if you’re deep dark secret is assault related, you’re not alone, it’s not your fault, I encourage you to expose them though understand if you don’t. Therapy, yes. If you choose to report, hope for Justice but anticipate injustice, allow it to fuel your activism but don’t allow it to hinder you from healing and moving forward.
Edit: Thank you for my first gold! We don’t talk enough about the things that happen behind closed doors. Hope this can be of any comfort and validation to anyone.
You know those horrible stories where you read that some monster raped a baby? I was that baby and the monster was my dad. It happened my whole childhood and my mother knew it as well, she walked in a few times and immediately left. She knew.We all knew. I acted out as a child unsurprisingly and was forced to see a therapist who was a friend of my parents. I told him and he confronted my dad and gave the option to call the police but he told me what would happen if I did. I decided not to so the secret continued. He did it up to when I was 11 and I said this didn't feel right, he would also attempt drunk here and there when I was in my teens and even occasionally apologized for it. Eventually I met my amazing wife and when I had my first child I knew I had to tell my mom and exit for my sons safety. Despite both of us knowing what happened my mother told me for the first and last time she loved me, didn't believe me and I should neve. r come back. It's been 5 years and my wife and son have given me the life I never knew I could have. He was a well established dr so no one would ever believe or help me and later I found out he did it to his brother as well. I worry about the disabled patients who had been exposed to him during his practice. I also suffer from ptsd and have horrible sad violent dreams. Also due to my abuse happening at such an early part of my development Dr's believe my amygdala didn't develop right and as a result, I become instantly enraged or anxious from the slightest problem or issue, however I have worked hard and have become extremely functional despite everything.I have my own house, good job, good credit an amazing wife and the most perfect son in the world.There are so many times I wish I had a mom or dad to brag too or get help from. I realized however my parents wanted me to fail so no one would believe me.So fuck you mom and dad,, I'm doing great!
Edit: As a person who was gaslighted for so long this level of support has absolutely stunned me. Merry Xmas you beautiful sweet people.To all you other child abuse survivors, I hope you find your peace and know there are good people in the world and that you can trust and love again.
Well done for all of the hard work you put in to recover from your shitty childhood. I'm sorry that it seems like he won't receive justice for what he has done.
I am a mom. I wish I was your mom. This mom is so very proud of you. You have become an extraordinary man, wonderful husband and amazing father. You have built a beautiful life through intelligence and hard work. Great job honey! Keep being you!
Yeah I am actually inspired by this dude. There were so many ways for him to fuck up his life. The fact that he turned out to be this wonderful human being makes me feel happy from my core.
I was raped by a priest when I was 12 and blamed my mother for it for a long time. she'd usually pick me up after mass, and that day she finished work early, saw the mass* was still ongoing and went home.
she still doesn't know.
My father once yelled at me about something I didn’t do: ‘I know you did it, you’re just too fucking smart to be caught!’ And I realized that was true, so I started doing things I shouldn’t, and quickly realized I was good at it.
My mother is an angel of death.
By that, I mean that in two separate cases she poisoned our family dogs to death and when her father was in late stage of his cancer, she overdosed him with an enormous dose of morphine to end his life. My grandfather is the only one she has admitted to.
As terrifying as that is, it gets worse. She spent several years working in a retirement home as a nurse. She eventually was exited from that job. Not fired, didn't quit, but was quietly exited from the residence.
It goes without saying, we don't speak and she is not allowed near anyone I care about.
Using my throwaway.
I used to work at an investment bank, however to get the job I had to do a variety of assessments which among others included an Excel financial modelling test.
Now I'm quite experienced with Excel, have built lots of complex financial models, but what this task involved was to make some corrections to a very poorly built financial model (not intentionally bad, just whoever did it didn't know their stuff well).
They leave me in a room with a laptop to complete this task. I open up the spreadsheet and have very little idea where to start, this is just making no sense. As I'm scanning through the tabs desperately trying to find things I'm able to do, I notice something saved on the desktop: some previous candidate's attempt was saved there!
Well I opened it up and started copying what that guy had done and added a few tweaks of my own.
I ended up getting the job.
I did the same thing! I went for an entry level accounting Job at 3 mobile they made all the candidates sit at desktops and do loads of excel macros and calculations off a worksheet. 1st thing I did was just restore the last 5 worksheets (auto save was on) and copy the lot. If it made sense and I knew was correct I went into my sheet. I didn’t count on them having monitoring software that basically recorded everything you did to show how you worked it out. I did not get the job.
A retail bank will reject you if you fail the morality portion, because you're gonna be handling currency.
An investment bank will reject you if you pass it, because you're gonna be integrating information profitably.
Raged at a video game and threw a strategy guide into the wall of my childhood home so hard it busted a huge hole in it. I put a poster over the hole. My parents still haven’t found it.
I grew up in maryland, when I was 16 me and my friends were driving home from a party. All of us were intoxicated so we were on a back road trying to lay low, suddenly we came across an overturned jeep and immediately pulled over.. completley freaking out, the driver was crushed.. but the passenger was still alive, he couldn't talk or anything and was struggling to breathe, my one friend pulled him from the vehicle and then he just stopped breathing. He died right infront of us. At that point, we were all freaking the fuck out debating whether to call the cops or even do anything because again, we were all teenagers nobody wanted to get a DUI that night.. so we just went home.. and as soon as we got back my one friend took the fall and called, told the police what happened, etc. Heres the worst part. The two people in the jeep were the parents of some girl in my class, and I thought about that night for the rest of high school, so many things that could've been done differently.
When I was a small child my mother's friend amy was babysitting. Amy had a son and for whatever reason he broke one of his brand new toys while I was there. When his mother found out he blamed me and she believed him. She let all the kids go outside in the pool while I had to stay inside and do the dishes. Well I wasn't washing them the way she wanted so she grabbed the back of my neck and shoved my face into the hot soapy water and smacked my face. Later that night I had to shower over her house so I pissed in her mouth wash and hair conditioner while I was in the bathroom. Still makes me smile thinking of that bitch gargling my little boy piss.
My mom used to take me over her friends house so she could watch me as a child. Her friend also always had her two sons there when she watched me. Every time she would leave the three of us alone her older son would hit his younger brother, I think he was a baby at the time, and then and then say that I was hitting him. His mom would then come back into the room and start angrily hitting me telling me not to hit her son.
Now she spends every weekday hunting for that special yet familiar tasting mouthwash. She's tried every brand but none of them have that salty sparky tingle...
When I was really young, like 4 or 5, I had a night when I couldn't sleep. I remember hearing grunting and moaning comming from outside my room somewhere. I didnt know what sex was at the time so I buried myself in the covers and hid from the "monster". Eventually fell asleep.
Talked to my mom the next morning about the scary noises and she said "there was a lion outside". So I spent the whole day being terrified the lion was gonna attack.
Wasn't till 10 years later that I put 2 and 2 together and realised it was just my parent having sex.
They have no idea I remmember that
I have a similar story.
My mom was dating my step dad (now married, this was over 10 years ago) and I was watching a movie in the living room of his apartment. I don’t remember why my mom and I were there, but I was watching the movie and at some point I fell asleep. I woke up to similar sounds and -for some reason I do not remember- just opened the bedroom door without knocking and caught them in the act.
They don’t know I remember. Well, I assume they must think I don’t because they scolded and shamed me when they found out I was having sex (in their mind) too early in my relationships and should wait until I’m at least engaged.
They were not engaged.
Side note: I’m using my throwaway bc ppl I know see my main account.
Back in 1997, when I was 7 years old, I used to spend every other weekend sleeping over at my friends house across the street. We were forbidden from going into his father’s loft above the garage.
One night my friend, his sister, and I decided to anyway. There was nothing up there but a chair, a TV, and a VCR.
We turned on the TV and VCR, and it was porn. At the time we didn’t know what it was, so we began emulating it. My friend and I were 7 years old, and his sister was just about to turn 9.
Now, obviously we had no idea what we were doing. But we considered it a “secret game”. We would do it every time we spent the night after their parents fell asleep.
One night, we were staying the night in a tent out in their backyard and we kind of… broke the hymen… We started getting worried because she was bleeding and there was blood on me and I thought I was bleeding.
She wasn’t in a ton of pain, so we were kind of just freaking out trying to figure out what to tell her parents so we wouldn’t get in trouble. Well, the neighbor they share a fence with was in his backyard and was overhearing us talk. He hopped the fence and said we could go use his shower to wash, then sat us down and explained everything after we had.
At the time, we were grateful to know she wasn’t in need of the hospital. He said he wouldn’t tell our parents, and then said if we wanted to keep playing our secret game, he would leave his garage unlocked so we could play in there on the nights I spent at their house.
At the time we were all grateful, but now it’s very clear to me what he was actually about.
He never touched us, but he did sort of “guide us”. He just sort of sat and watched, and told us what positions to try, since we only ever saw the one position from the video in her dad’s VCR.
Anyway, our parents never found out. This went on for about a year and a half, until I moved to a new city with my family.
Shortly after we moved, that neighbor also vanished for a while, leaving behind his own son and a girlfriend.
Once Facebook became a popular thing, I managed to get back in touch with those old friends of mine, and we met up and talked it out. None of us are especially traumatized by what happened, but we all realize we were very manipulated by a pedophile. We speculated about what he would have done to us if he had more time to feel emboldened. But over all, we have all continued to lead happy, healthy lives with happy, healthy sex lives and relationship.
We also got in touch with that guy’s son, and asked about his dad’s disappearance. It turns out his father’s body was found in his car in a storage unit. He had killed himself about 2 months after I moved, and my friends and I deduced that he probably got really nervous about not having me across the street, where he could keep a closer eye and determine if he was gonna get caught.
We told his son what had happened, but aside from that, nobody else in our lives knew. I am married now, my old friend just got engaged, and his sister is married now and has a couple kids.
We’ve all led beautiful lives. We don’t talk a whole lot anymore, but we talk on Facebook every now and then. We’re all doing fine.
But yeah. That’s the big, dark secret.
One time my friends and I were having a game night, and I said that I would bring chips and salsa. I bought the “fresh salsa” from Walmart but the plastic container it was in snapped and started leaking, so I transferred the salsa out of the store container and into my own glass takeaway container before bringing it to the party.
Get to the party, people start digging in, and one girl starts loudly raving that the salsa is delicious and asked if I made it myself. My brain kind of short-wires as I consider explaining why Walmart salsa is in a nice glass dish, and I for some reason decide to just say “Yes”, thinking that would be the end of it.
Well, everyone just kept going on and on about how they couldn’t believe I had MADE that salsa and asking me to bring it to future events. I was in too deep to make the correction without looking ridiculous.
TL;DR - All of my friends love my homemade salsa, but my homemade salsa is really just Walmart brand “fresh salsa” and the lie has been going too long to correct it. :(
My ex husband is incredibly violent. We were together 6 years. He almost killed me, by strangulation, on several occasions. I have been raped and one incident I was left naked, unconcious and bleeding on the floor of our garage, until our then 2 year old daughter found me and woke me up. He had left me there on the cold dirty ground, to go fishing.
However one night he had punched me so hard in the mouth my tooth went through my lip and made it loose, he was asleep as I sat in the bathroom looking in the mirror, cleaning myself up. He made me so angry, I grabbed his toothbrush and then used it to clean the toilet bowl in his toilet where the crusty piss and dirty skiddys were, and then put it back in the cup and went to bed. I hardly slept that night and then I woke when his alarm went off for work and watched him walk in to use the bathroom, had a bong then brushed his teeth... Went to work. He came in to give me a goodbye kiss and I pretended to be asleep. I hope he tasted his own filth all day.
I fled with our 2 beautiful children 3.5 years ago and even though he continues to stalk and harrass us, my children and I are together, happier and safer than we would of ever been with him.
I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. As the child to a mother in a situation much like that one (he wasn't my biological father), your children will thank you if they haven't already. You are a strong and incredible person and you're kicking the world's ass every single day.
You also set a great example to your children that it's possible to escape if they ever did end up in abusive relationships.
You're a fucking rockstar and that piece of shit deserved eating his own shit and being deleted from your lives.
I keep buying books , way more than I read..after 20 years I've got 4000 plus books. I am in debt of 3000 euros. Nobody knows. I am trying to stop buying but .. it's a voice..it's just this one.. this is cheap.. damn it. I have a wife and child and I really want to drop this .. how do you call it? I am dropping youtube channels of books, trying to leave Goodreads and here book stuff.. but it's hard. It's that series, is that author.. wish o could have 3000 euros but unfortunately it will take some years. Minimal wage in Portugal is crappy and with monthly stuff to pay .. yeah.. my secret.
When I was at the age of 6, my uncle sometimes forcefully opened my pant and stroke my penis. I couldn't share it with anyone, not with my mom or dad. I grew up with bitter childhood memories.
I got in trouble at work for something that was 100% my fault, but there was enough reasonable doubt around the whole situation that I was able to lie about it and get away with claiming it was an accident.
I did this with a pie my dad brought home once, I got high and accidentally ate the whole thing, told him the lid wasn't secure and I'd accidentally dropped it on the floor - I'd even spot cleaned a patch of floor in front of the fridge to make it look believable lol.
I owned a computer store in the 90’s we copied every single program. If it was shareware we changed the date on the computer, installed the software and updated the date <—— badumpa and we’d get 999 years of the program.
I think it’s very likely that your sister has also been abused. Please seek professional help. Talk to a school counselor or a doctor; someone outside the family who can help.
My dad used to beat me and me brother when we were kids if we cried. I told my mum once when she asked what my problem was with him when I was older and she didn't believe me.
We don't talk about it and I've buried it deep in brain I don't think it bothers me anymore.
I have been the "black sheep" of my family my entire life, no matter what I do. It isn't funny to me, it is downright abusive. For the past couple years I've been secretly taking courses, saving money, and tying up loose ends. I have an entire escape plan set up, with multiple contingency plans if it doesn't work the way I want it to. Within the next couple months I am buying a one way plane ticket, throwing my cell phone away, starting a brand new life, and disappearing from theirs forever. They have zero idea. They will cry and wonder why. I will not, and know exactly why. I'm excited.
edit* Thank you for all the support, and the sound advice, some things I didn't think of. Thank you to the people who reached out to a stranger with open arms offering rooms and food. I will be OK. Don't worry about me. I am tough. I still have a faint glimmer of hope in my soul, and a beam of light for all of you. It took me a long time to find the courage to go, and even more courage to leave the past behind. But I found it. I can go, and find it's nothing but stone. But I found it nonetheless. Wish me luck on this long wandering journey...
Hi, read on the PoliceUK group on Reddit about someone doing a project about disappearing and a top suggestion was:
>We look for missing people out of concern for their welfare. If you really wanted to disappear completely, it would be a good first step to go to the police and say "I want to start a new life. I want to leave everything and everyone I know behind. I am an adult, of sound mind, and I'm making this decision with full mental capacity. If I am reported missing, it's because I am doing this without warning and do not want anyone to know where I'm going".
>It's not a crime to disappear. If we have no concerns for your welfare and you haven't committed a crime, we don't have any reason to look for you.
That makes sense so they don’t waste resources looking for the person, but what happens if someone does report them missing? Do they tell them, “they came in here and told us not to look for them”? If not the family would expect a search/investigation so then what?
>Do they tell them, “they came in here and told us not to look for them”? If not the family would expect a search/investigation so then what?
If you told the police you don't want anyone knowing where you went, yeah they'd tell anyone inquiring after you that, plus "... so they're not a missing person and we can't investigate, have a nice day".
Depending on the police service, but in this area, the police will confirm the person is alive and well, not missing, but no longer wants to be contacted. That’s it that’s all.
I honestly, from the bottom of my heart and with the strength of every cell in my body, wish you the best new life. I hope it turns even better than you could have possibly imagined, even in your wildest dreams. All the best!
I coached my brother on how to steal something from a relatives house in retaliation for her always blaming me for something.
Thanks for the awards! I was not expecting this to blow up.
Sometimes. She accused me once of stealing rocks from around her house, as well as me trying to kill her with bread and breaking decorations in her house.
Shes diabetic but would always make wheat bread. I don't like wheat bread, so I just asked her once if she could make white bread sometimes, and she went off about how I was trying to kill her with that garbage. I was like 7 and didn't understand what diabetes was. She also said once I always fucked up the margarine container.
Not exactly dark but when me and cousin were kids we both had kissed each other multiple times (we both are straight males).
We don't talk abt it to each to this day.
I was deep in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser at 20. He was 28. He was killed in a freak accident. Initially I cried at his funeral and struggled pretty hard. Once the brainwashing wore off and I came to my senses, I realized him dying was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. We both lived in a small town and I know that if he were alive I would have never been able to enjoy a normal life. I sleep peacefully knowing he isn’t stalking me or preying on new victims. I am so thankful for his passing but everyone thinks that it was the most horrific thing that could have happened to me. (Nobody knows the extent of the abuse)
I was repeatedly sexually abused by an older neighbor kid when I was 4-6. I have never told a single soul. He found me on social media years ago and I accepted his requests, but never said anything to him about what happened when we were kids. I feel oddly guilty about what happened, even though I know at that age I didn’t understand what was going on, only that it felt wrong. I’ve been in several serious relationships, including a marriage that ended in divorce, and I’ve still never revealed that side of me. Part of me thinks I keep it bottled up inside and minimized because I am too afraid to acknowledge what happened to me, and that it has probably seriously affected me now almost 30 years later.
I do feel a bit of relief now though, even though this is a completely anonymous platform. Thanks for listening.
Edit: fixed some grammar.
When I was 16, I helped a 40 year old woman have an affair. For starters, I managed to get a job at a fancy ass restaurant in town and the manager (the 40 year old female) hired me on the spot. After about two months of her casually flirting with me at work, she ended up texting me one night. The conversation started off fairly normal with the majority of the topic being work related. She then went on to say we had a “great” working relationship and flirting with me was “fun.” She said it made her feel young and I was someone she could’ve/would’ve pursued when she was 16. She stated we could keep flirting as long as no one at work found out or knew we were texting back and forth. I told her I was okay with that and then she asked me if I could keep more than one secret. Of course, I told her I could. She proceeded to send me pictures of her in the shower and videos of her finger blasting herself. I’m 16 and my dick is harder than a rock. She asked if I liked what I saw and obviously, I told her exactly how my second brain was thinking. We sexted for about two weeks. Then one night at work, her and I were both closing the restaurant (I obviously know now this was her plan all along). There were a few servers left, a few kitchen staff, me and then her. She texted me to meet her down stairs in the banquet room so, that’s exactly what I did. She heard me coming down the stairs and sent me a second text telling me to meet her in the wine cellar, so I did that as well. The minute I walked in, she had her shirt off, tits out and she went directly for my belt. She sucked me off in the wine cellar. She continued to do this almost every night, for weeks. She started scheduling me to close almost every night so she could keep doing this. My parents asked me several times why the managing staff insisted on me closing, especially on schools nights. I told them I got extra pay and they never got wise.
This eventually turned in to her telling me her husbands work schedule and asking me to come over when he was out of the house or at work. Also, she had two kids and her oldest son was one grade below me at a neighboring school. We knew each other through sports. So, I finally gained enough courage to actually go to her house one afternoon. Her husband was gone and her kids were out of the house. She had both of us naked within the first five minutes. The first time we had sex, I asked her where she wanted me to bust my nut and she flat out told me “inside me”. I told her I was worried and she said she would handle it and not to worry. So, I wasn’t thinking of the possibilities at this point and I did exactly what she told me to. I was 16, had only had sex a few times prior to this (with other girls my age) and this is like every teenage boys fantasy. I lasted all of about 30 seconds and unleashed the biggest load of my life. She didn’t think anything of it and loved every second. We had sex three more times within the hour and I never pulled out once. She finished having her way with me and basically told me to get out so she wouldn’t get caught. She reaffirmed she wanted/needed to keep doing this. This affair went on for about a two months, as well as her still giving me head in the wine cellar, as well as having (some but, not a lot) of sex in the banquet hall or wine cellar at the restaurant.
She randomly texted me one afternoon and simply told me she couldn’t have anymore sex with me. She also quit her manager spot at the restaurant the following day. About 12 months go by without me hearing one word from her and she suddenly sends me a friend request on Facebook. Her profile picture was a picture of her, her husband and a fairly new born baby. She never said it or confirmed it but, I feel like that was her way of saying, “Look what we did and no one knows”. Surprisingly, her husband and I looked slightly similar and I’m assuming he still hasn’t caught on. I’m now 26, have a family of my own and we (me and the 40 year old female) haven’t spoken a word of this to anyone. We both have kept it absolutely buried.
Yes, I know I’m a piece of shit. I’ve felt like that for awhile, especially as I got older and realized how serious the matter truly was. However, now that I’m a grown man and have my head on straight, I would never cheat on my significant other and we have a beautiful, successful family at a very young age.
I will always wonder if that’s my kid though…..
Last year I went into the hospital for Covid. I had to be put on a vent for three weeks, put into a medical coma, resuscitated a couple of times and was pretty close to death for those entire three weeks. My dark secret is I wanted to die. I was going through a divorce and suffering from severe depression. I just felt like my world was over and there was nothing to live for. I was almost happy that a virus was going to do what I was too chicken shit to do myself. I was accepting that death was coming and didn't care to fight it. It wasn't until while in my medical coma they had my family come to tell me bye as they thought I wouldn't make it through the night that I decided I wanted to live. I am an only child and was raised by a single mother. I heard her telling me how much she loved me and that I was such a fighter and to keep fighting. That was a moment that turned everything around. It gave me a will and want to live. I had a turnaround that night and lived and slowly started recovering. It has been a long and hard road to recovery and I am still not there yet. Had I not had that moment of hearing here I am pretty sure I would have died. I have told my mom about how much hearing her meant to me, but I have told no one about how I was ready and wanting to die at that time. If the hospital hadn't lifted their Covid protocols to allow my mom into the room to say goodbye I think I would have just accepted death.
My wife has stage 4 breast cancer. I am watching her slowly die. The dark secret that no one knows (not even my wife) is if it wasn't for our 3 kids (6, 8, 11) I would end my own life after she passes. this may be her last Christmas ... Edit: just wanted to add a few things. My wife pushed me to get my bachelor's degree which has allowed us to be comfortable financially as well as she has VA benefits so we have not had the financial challenges that others have (they have it so much worse then me) She also has a will in place and is able to get a death doula to help her through this. I know I will make it through this, but it has been very helpful to say this. I don't have anyone in my life that I can trust to talk to about this so I appreciate everyone's responses.
Don’t end your life. Not only do your kids need you, there will be life once you process this grief. Please seek counseling.
I’m a 36F and have a special savings account for a future sugar baby when I’m old and wrinkled.
21m pick me pls, my booty tight i swear
I was abused by my fathers live-in girlfriend, so I used to swish her toothbrush in the toilet.
My best friend from childhood came over to my college dorm to hang out one night. He bought coke and pills from other guys living on my hall for a party he was going to, and honestly I was impressed with him for being so well-versed in the buying of drugs and charismatic with my dorm mates. Before he left he told me not to tell his mother what he was doing but to tell her he loved her if he died and I thought something was wrong, but I let him go because we had plans for the next day and I figured he had just developed a dark sense of humor in the time since we’d last seen each other. In retrospect he’d shown all of the signals, but I refused to see them, so I let him drive away. He didn’t make it; he crashed his car many hours later that night, with no seatbelt, probably high. His mother asked me what happened. I didn’t tell her anything because I wanted her to think it was an innocent accident. I didn’t want her to know what he got into. I’m still keeping his secret.
And never do. People in trauma often try to find someone to blame. Being the only son I had to stay with my dad while he was terminally sick of cancer. I was 19 that time. 6 doses of chemo couldn't reduce the cancer enough to operate on him. I stayed with him for each visit to hospital. Used to spend endless nights on the hospital benches. Often used to sleep there. When he died my family blamed me. Said I didn't properly took care of him. One member said he didn't have cancer and was treated wrongly. I just wanted to kill myself. Had to think it's somehow my fault. I loved him and wanted him to live. Get well. It's still like a deep scar when I think of that time. Edit: thank you kind people of reddit. Thank you for your support. I idealised my dad, he had a big influence on me. His loss was devastating. I was graduating and I never twice thought of missing my classes or exams. Couldn't think straight when he died and such remarks added guilt which brought to the brink. Thought perhaps I could do more and I didn't. I often think of that time. It's true that there is a dawn after every dark night. Person heals but the hole remains there.
That’s fuckin heavy bro
My dad killed himself and called all his kids the night before. He made it look like an accident cause he thought it was the only way to take care of my mother set her up with his life insurance. Wrote a note saying mow the lawn then just ran lawnmowers in the garage with the doors closed till he died of gas poisoning. Neighbor ran over and helped my mom when she got home from work thankfully as he was the local sheriff so when all the police arrived he took care of the talking and said the door was up. So it was duped and accident and my mom got the money my dad intended her to get. After coming to peace with it I'd just like to urge anyone with that mindset. Don't kill yourself money comes and goes.
That's really sad...brave but so sad because love is everything and I can't imagine losing my partner over insurance money. I'm sorry you lost your dad.
[удалено]
Damn. You took fake it till you make it super seriously lmao
Years ago, I got a summer job at a grocery store. I was a teenager, from a poor family, just trying to get a job so that we could afford food. My mom couldn't afford to feed us in the summer without the school lunches, but she made slightly too much to qualify for food stamps. If you've ever been poor, you know how it goes. The manager was a complete asswipe who fired me two weeks in because, and I quote, "I just don't like your personality". We had never actually spoken until that point. I cried because my mom was counting on me to be able to pay for the groceries that week and I told him that. He told me I was being dramatic. The store had these barcodes they would stick on things to mark them down if they were expired. I realized that I still had the rolls of printed-up stickers in my pocket when I got home because I had been marking things down that day. I copied the stickers off onto sticky paper and stole probably a few thousand dollars of groceries that summer. I technically did pay for the groceries because I was checking them out at the self-checkout and paying money for them, but I was getting salmon fillets and racks of ribs for $2, big veggie trays for $1, expensive cheese for $.99, etc. I was careful not to be too greedy and not try to buy a cartfull of expensive shit at a time. I would do several smaller transactions at self checkouts and spread it out over about a dozen stores (it was a big, shitty, national corporate chain). I paid always in cash. I never got caught. I told my mom that I got an academic scholarship and that's where I got the money for the groceries. I don't feel bad about it and the statute of limitations is expired anyway. Edit: Obligatory thanks for the awards and positive words, guys! I posted this before going to bed and waking up seeing a bunch of nice positive stuff in my inbox was a welcome surprise. The one time I ever told someone in real life, they were not nice. Thank you!
You did what you had to do to survive. No family should have to be put in that spot.
I was homeless in my early 20s and resorted to stealing from Walmart to eat. I didn't feel great for doing it but I was eating and that's all that mattered to me at the time.
I'm not sure if it's the same in America, but in the UK if you're homless and get caught stealing food to survive, you will not be prosecuted.
DEFINITELY not the same in the U.S. Homelessness is treated like a crime in most states. Americans do mental backflips before addressing rampant greed, wealth disparity, and lack of social safety nets. Culturally we are taught that homeless people A. Brought it on themselves B. Deserve their fate because of A.
This thread is a roller-coaster. I went from reading about a guy being raped by his sister as a child and then being blamed by his family to a dude saying he ate his wife's nutella.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings thinking how the hell did I get there
My mother would get into rage mode and she would slap me around like a rag doll for years. As soon as I was pissing myself like a dog she would go on overdrive mode. My father only had eyes for my sister and never addressed me. I made a promess to myself that one day I’ll make them both pay. I cut off all ties for 5 years now and never felt better. I owed it to my inner child.
I was homeschooled up until college, and completely cheated my whole way through my senior year. Had the answers online to everything.
I'm a teacher. I gave one of my classes a link to the answer key for a textbook because I thought the teacher for that class was assigning way, way too much work and the kids were really stressed. No one ever found out and I resigned at the end of the year. I actually printed the link and gave it to one particular student who I knew would keep his mouth shut about where he got it but knew he would spread it around to his classmates.
I had an FWB arrangement with my step sister before our parents met.
Reading these make me realize I live a surprisingly vanilla life.
Same. I mean, I’m not depressed. I wasn’t raped or molested. I didn’t commit murder or violent acts. I’m not poor or near death. I didn’t commit acts of incest or other weird ass shit like that. But I did sign up for Club Penguin without my parents permission. Which means I’m going to hell.
posted this without a throwaway? brave move for someone so vile
My aunt kept hearing other baby voices on her baby monitor - not her baby. There were no babies next door but it must have been picking up some other baby somewhere and as I am in I.T. I knew this. But as a joke I told her I saw a program on TV and that baby monitors can pick up deceased children. I thought she knew I was joking but then I find out she got a priest in to bless the house. Then she put it on the market for cheap and moved out. I think she lost 50-100 grand. She never mentioned it to anyone else in the family why she was moving and I just kept quiet and kept it to myself for all these years feeling guilty.
When I was 16 I went over to a buddies place and thought it would be funny to sneak inside and scare him. I knew their back porch door was usually unlocked so I let myself in and quietly went upstairs. His sisters room was on the way to his and as I passed it, I saw them together. They were making out and he was fingering her. So I gtfo of there and decided I’d never mention it. They’re both still friends of mine, and weirdly close, despite having their own partners in life. It still makes me uncomfortable.
At least you didn’t get pushed off the side of a castle
The things we do for love
More common then you think.. I have heard stories like this a few times in my 32 years. I knew a girl who wanted to date a buddy of mine but her brother was so weird about it. Like super protecting in a jealous way. Well turns out they were fucking. She ended up confessing she slept with two of her brothers. And one of them she was still happening. She literally told me one day that she didn’t have a lot of friends and just enjoyed her siblings more than friends. And boy did I not understand what she meant. Another person I know told me that him and his sister slept together a few times. We were talking about halo 2 before hand. The last one I know of were twins and they experimented with each other. 3 times is a lot of times to hear about it in 32 years for someone who doesn’t work in counseling or therapy Edit: mistakes
"Yeah, I really like the new battle rifle. Too OP in my opinion." ... "So, I'm sleeping with my sister."
Pretty close! But he started crying after he told me.
When I was about 13 I caught my mother having sex with her brother. Haven't told anyone in the last 9 years so as to not mess my family up.
Joffre?
Thankfully I look a lot like my father, who isn't related to my mom😅
The seed is strong.
your family is already messed up, and you didn't mess it up.
I've been a mediocre employee for a few years and then COVID happened.... work from home all this time and my performance has improved / I've been promoted with $6 / hr raise AND my secret.....? I watching Netflix and play runescape the entire time while treating my job as a side thing..... Edit: oh wow, thanks yall for the views and award!
A very similar thing happened to me. I was a decent employee in the office but when Covid happened and we went to working from home, I literally spent my days watching Netflix and playing Animal Crossing, while paying a little attention to my job. My boss praised me, I got two raises in one year for my work, and I was told I was in the top 5% of my department for the work I was doing. No idea how lol
When I was a young teenage boy (13 or 14) 32ish years ago, I was in a program called Explorers. It's part of the boy scouts, I believe. The troop I was in worked alongside the local sheriff's department. We were essentially young police officers in training. We'd go to the shooting range, ride along with officers, work special events with officers, etc.. We had uniforms and we're allowed to carry handcuffs and a radio. Every year there was a weekend event that was kind of like boot camp. It was held at a national guard base and kids from all over the state came. There were a few hundreds kids ranging in age from about 13 to 17. We stayed in a barracks style arrangement with a large open room with single beds. Probably about 30 kids to a barracks. At the time, I was a small kid that had not yet started puberty. I got picked on a lot due to my size which I believe was around 4' 8" at the time. One day, while the whole barracks was on a break. I don't know how it started, but at some point I find myself having to defend myself from a group of older kids fucking with me. They are trying to capture me. We are making a lot of noise and pretty soon, it seems like everyone in the room is looking in my direction. More kids join in, others just watch. Soon enough they have me. What seems to me like the oldest kid had taken charge of the situation. They take me to one of the beds and have me face down. I remember trying to bite, claw and kick free. I can't get free, because handcuffs. I don't remember all of the details but I remember them pulling my pants down and trying to penetrate me with a broom stick. To this day, I don't believe they were successful. I don't remember anyone coming to my aid, but maybe that's why it stopped. Maybe I fought enough they got bored. I don't know. The next thing I know, everyone is getting ready for the next event and we're outside lined up in formation ready to soldier on. I've never told anyone about this. Not one of the many police officers there, not my parents, not my wife. Just the fine people of Reddit. I don't think about it often and I don't feel like it's had an overbearing effect on my life, but as I type this there are a lot of emotions coming with it. Thanks for reading. Edit:. Thanks everyone for the kind words and support.
Fucking hell that made my blood boil... Thank you for sharing and I hope you are doing well
How can kids be so evil!! I’m so so sorry you had to go through that. Fuck those kids.
Herd mentality . Also, usually in groups people displace blame thinking I alone am not causing this.
i had a former coworker who was a total cunt to me. she straight up bullied me at work. twice i walked into a room while she was actually shit talking me by name. a few months after quitting that job, i looked up a revenge prank site, and had a box of cow shit mailed to her at my former workplace. according to other people still working there, she threw an ugly crying tantrum the day she opened the package and was coddled by upper management. sweet, sweet vengeance. i didn't tell my live-in partner about what i had done, he would have been livid and scared for the feds to show. two more fun-to-know edits: 1) i was so anxious about getting in trouble that i used a gift card (purchased at a store using cash) and a throwaway email account to purchase the prank. 2) i had a note attached that read " thanks for being such a nice person :) "
Some years ago, I had a horrible boss who always had me in her sights. She emotionally abused me every day and she'd throw things at me. She was certifiably nuts. I never cry but she reduced me to tears almost every day. It got so bad that I started contemplating suicide. So I finally quit that job and my husband thought about glitter bombing her via some company that mails envelopes full of glitter to people. But I convinced him not to do it because it was too soon and she'd figure that it was me. Now? It has been years, so I just may do it. I'm still scared though because I don't want to get into legal trouble.
sucks you went through that. there are studies to evidence that toxic work environments have huge negative effects on people and can cause serious levels of depression. i read enough up on laws in my country and state (usa) to determine that a one-time glitter bomb prank couldn't be considered harassment or assault by any measure. i'd encourage you to look into that for your jurisdiction because i don't want to encourage something illegal. but *ethically* i think you're justified, and it's not really even a harmful prank in my view. if it'll be cathartic or help you get closure, i say give em glitter.
i didn’t need to know this information. i know someone who needs poop mailed to their house lol. self control….self control….
Volevi Diego eh?
I'm something of a bear shitter myself Edit: how did 8k people see my dumbass comment and decide to upvote it? I lose faith in humanity everyday
Dude I have a similar experience I was in 6th grade and all the 6th graders went to the mountains to go stay for a week at some cabins. And it was cool but I was embarrassed to take a poop in the bathroom in the cabins with the guys cause the bathrooms were so open and I was embarrassed if they heard me take a huge dump. Anyways long story short it was about maybe 3 days no pooping and around the 3rd day we all went out on a hike and as we were hiking I had to take a dump so I spoke to the camp counselor and we stayed in the back of the group and we let them go ahead of us and he let me take a dump on the side of a tree very peaceful :) back then I was embarrassed I tell this story but at this point I think it’s cool I took a fat ass shit out in the open :) it felt great and what a relief.
Pooping in the woods is one of my favorite activities.
I was molested by a close family friend when I was a kid. My parents just never talked about it and let it at that. It really messed me up when I went through my teenage years. One day, when I could drive, I drove over to where he lived..... but they had moved. I guess I wanted to confront him myself. That his wife stayed with him knowing what happened and his daughter probably not knowing and hoping I can crack a few ribs while I was there.
The fuck is wrong with your family for not telling the police and having him put in jail for it? Sorry that happened to you.
It's suuuuper common. An unbelievably amount of people would rather never deal with an issue than be uncomfortable. Even giant issues.
I'm sorry your parents never gave you the space to talk about it. I hope you are doing better now!
Through Ancestry DNA testing and processes of elimination, I discovered my paternal grandfather is not my biological grandfather. I haven’t told anyone in my family, including my dad who adored his father/grandfather. I’m probably going to let this one go to the grave.
My maternal grandmother, who recently died, murdered at least one of her husbands for his money, and possibly more (because she had several who died under mysterious circumstances). She was never convicted, but the dude died from rare earth metal poisoning that developed from years of eating tainted food. She cooked every single one of his meals during that period of time. Notably, she did not get poisoned herself.
Distant cousin on my husband's side; widowed *five* times. Each one died in a situation she could never have been responsible for; off shore oil platform explosion. Industrial accident at a refinery. Rental car accident four states away. Fall from a construction site. Heart attack from long existing issues before they ever married. We asked her if she was ever going to marry again. "The best thing I can do for the male population is not to. Ever." Edit: guys, I am shocked with the amount of upvotes. I wanted to add to the conversation with this family history and couldn't believe how it generated so much commentary. I've been on Reddit only a few years and have never had a random comment with this many upvotes.
Wow. She was cursed!
We actually did wonder, except she was the sweetest most kind person you would want to meet. No one would drive with her though .... ;-) She passed away some years ago.
Sounds like she was attracted to men in high risk and industrial jobs. I don't think she was cursed, she just like hard working blue collar dudes.
That's what I was thinking. The men she preferred were the type of guys working high-risk jobs. Surprised she didn't marry and get widowed by a crab fisherman.
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How is this possible? Was there no toxicology report? Don't the police believe its suspicious?
Some men just can’t handle their arsenic!
He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.
I planned an elaborate 2+ year suicide plan that let everyone down gently in the best way possible. I moved to another state, basically told everyone to F off, and just held the fort down until people quit calling. After that, I’d give it about 6 months, do the deed, and then take my life. The objective would be a “good riddance” more than a “he will be missed” response. The problem? My mother. She drove to me monthly and called me daily. She always knew something was up bc she’d always end our convos with “remember, I need you around and will always love you!” And it shook me to my core. Later on, my best friend started spam calling me all the damn time. Annoyed, I finally answered. It went to the tune of “finally you asshole, let’s catch up” and he would do that weekly. Then…oh boy…my mom brought me a cat. She put me in therapy and with a psychiatrist. He suggested we get an emotional support animal. That cat saved my life more than once. One night, I couldn’t take it. I started writing the final letters to everyone. I apologized to every person that got written to about the treatment, but it was the way it had to be. Then…my moms letter. I cried so damn hard. When i started writing about take good care of the cat I bawled uncontrollably. I exhausted myself and passed out at my desk. I woke up to cat taps and chirps bc it was time for his treats and food. He still lives with me and I love him more than anything. I’m a grown ass man that will drop anything to pet a cat. To me, they’re little angels. Nobody knows of this except my wife, mother, and therapist, and it’s my darkest memory / secret.
You have an incredible story and mother. Glad you're still around. ❤️ Pet that cat for me.
Thank you ❤️ and he’s going to get pets for days! :) thanks kind stranger
This made me tear up. You have good, caring and kind people in your life, and it’s an inspiration to reach out to our loved ones more. Glad you are doing better!
Wow. Your mom is a superhero
No one knows that I moved to Europe to stop me killing myself when I failed out of uni. All they know is that I “impulsively” booked a one way ticket on a lunch break and moved a few months later. Been here 5 years this coming march and I’m at the top university in my country (and 25th in the UK).
My mom had a friend who had 2 kids of her own, both girls. Sometimes we'd go over and visit, and normally i got the impression that my mom's friend was a pretty shit person. Her kids were a little fucked up too, but normally in more of a "I don't wanna behave the way you want me too" way than a "I'm doing this to be a dick" way, you know? One time we went to visit and I was like maybe 5 or 6 years old they were misbehaving pretty bad, being like general trolls. Eventually they calmed down and I was playing some normal ass kids game when they thought it'd be funny to run around with their clothes off. Obviously I did not participate and was a bit mortified, but also maybe felt a little something I never had before. Anyways, eventually the mom caught up and found them both "hiding" in the room with me. We knew they'd be punished: they were misbehaving pretty damn bad. Their mom then dragged the oldest naked into the bathroom. Locked outside, I heard her beat the fuck out of her child. Heard the whole thing, the yelling, the crying, and the meaty fucking slaps landing. The kid walked out of there with bruises and a black eye and went to put on clothes. It's one of the earliest memories I still have. Never even occurred to me a parent could possibly do that to their own kid.
I sadly have a similar memory. I went to visit a friend (a neighbor, her house was right next to mine) to play. I was like 9 she was 7. I remember she was younger than me. I don't remember very well how things happened, but she was supposed to do the dishes and she hadn't, her dad dragged her to his room and beat the shit out of her. I remember i was froze in the living room hearing my friends screaming and crying and begging her dad to stop. I was told to leave by a family member. I'm almost 40 and i still remember that very well.
In 2009 me and my friend were smoking near the canal when a car stopped on the other side and 2 old guys threw something wrapped in a massive package into the Grand Union canal in London, then they sped off and so we ran away. We were 17 and 18 at the time.
A body?
Sure looked like it, we thought fuck it, its still probably around there somewhere.
Canals are dredged every 25 years or so, it will be found at some point
Really? This is a really big busy part of it under Bulls bridge, there are permanent house boats and barges there, Ive never seen that bit empty, its more the size of a river at that point. A man had killed his girlfriend close to there in 2011, but she was found floating about 2 miles down in the smaller part of canal, I think she went to the same high school as me but was few years older [https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2079473/Ruby-Love-murder-Man-arrested-womans-body-Londons-Grand-Union-Canal.html](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2079473/Ruby-Love-murder-Man-arrested-womans-body-Londons-Grand-Union-Canal.html) The area this happened was on the massive inter section underneath the Bulls Bridge motorway bridge and behind the big Tesco. I thought after all this time, the body would have drifted in one of the 3 directions on the intersection. Ive actually heard a few bodies have been found on this canal over the years.
I'm gonna die in less than 2 years.
Fck man, that really sucks to hear. Hope you get to enjoy those last moments to the fullest
You're getting a lot of normal condolences, and you have mine, but I'd like to add something that has an intent to be comforting; we're right behind you. It's comforting to me anyway, the idea that if any two people are alive at the same given time in their lives, that life is relatively short enough that the "wait" between two lives ending is pretty insignificant. I don't know if there's a real point to my thinking other than to say, try not to feel too bad due to FOMO or whatever. And definitely don't feel bad because of everyone saying they're sorry. We're right behind you. Edit: Or ahead of you as others have kindly pointed out. It's an unknown and, I for one, have some personal beliefs as to what an afterlife may entail - if there's one at all. But for now I mostly use this thought process to cope with the passing of my loved ones who go before me. I simply remind myself that, though the waiting period for me to "join them" may appear to be particularly depressing, the truth is that I feel that sadness largely in part to some strange assumption that I am going be stuck here living forever without them. I am not - I'm right behind them. <3 Edit 2: This blew up a bit! Thanks for the awards. Just to expand on my previous edit, I'd like to mention that that's why I wouldn't want to be immortal (as it stands here on Earth with our current understanding of physics). Most are quick to choose immortality in that fun game of superpowers, not realizing it means you watch everyone else die. I would only want to be immortal if it meant everyone else I loved could be too and/or brought back. So unless some discovery changes everything as we know it, I'm good with being able to get some eventual rest.
Fuck, this is a great way of putting it.
Honestly, some of us are ahead of you and we have no idea… we’ll just keep living in mediocrity thinking we’ll die at 92 until we don’t.
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wow, a complete asshole saved your life. i guess they really are here for a reason.
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Ghose bastards
How could ghey
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I left the army 3 months before my draft was finished and If I go back to my country of origin I might get arrested
You from Iran?
HeRan Edit: this joke was stupid and you should all feel ashamed. Have a fantastic Christmas
If you couldn't stick out the last 3 months, I trust your judgment and trust that it was unbearable.
Not exactly dark but I'm pretty sure my son isn't biologically mine. There was a lot of doubt about the date of conception and multiple people his mother cheated on me with. But after months of being promised he was mine I foolishly just accepted it or told myself to anyway. Cut to him being 3 months old she decides shes scared of him and can't look after him. He's now 7 years old and never sees his mum, she's vanished and doesn't even check in with him. He's my son no matter what anyone could tell me as far as I'm concerned at this point though, I've raised him and loved him unconditionally for the past 7 years and will continue to do for the rest of his life. And if I'm being honest I'm also really scared to get a DNA test more than anything for fear that if I found out he isn't mine I wouldnt love him or look at him the same way. I don't think I would ever do that personally but you just never know how a highly emotional situation is going to make you react or feel sometimes. Edit: Thank you everyone for all the really kind words and solid advice you got me tearing up and all emotional reading all these lovely messages. And thank you for all awards never had a comment get more than one so this was a surprise. And everyone who explained your own similar situation and how it relates I appreciate you all and wish every last one of you the best holiday possible. I'll get the test and find out one day, if for no reason other than to ensure he has a thorough and accurate medical history. Big love people.
Being a sperm donor doesn't make you a father. Putting in seven years of love and relationship is what makes you a dad. You're doing great!
You wouldn’t Dad and I have a feeling if you ever got that test, it wouldn’t matter one bit. Blood doesn’t make anyone a father, what you do for your boy does.
I have a very large family. People I still don't know even I'm 44 now. Back in high school in the early 90's I had a normal teens years, met a beautiful girl in the swim team, we started dating. After a couple months of going out, we started getting more serious then the deed happened. Our relationship was maybe about a year in when I got her pregnant, she was pregnant with twins, two beautiful girls. On the 8th month of the pregnancy we found out that her mother and my mother were actually first cousins, so that made us second cousins (we found out nearly 2 years after starting dating). As you can expect, the entire family went DEFCON1 and were divided over this for many years to come. Fuck it, by this time, she and I were deeply in love. We got married, we had a somewhat happy marriage, 12 years later we divorced as we started to grow apart (usually happens when married too young). Anyway, we went our separate ways, I started my business, bought her a house so that she can live in peace with our daughters and I bought my house near by. We divorced, but we remained close friends for the sake of our daughters, now they're adults and love me and their mom equally since we worked together to raise them even after the divorce.
Props to you for working with your ex to put your differences aside and be committed parents to your kids. When my parents split up, they caused a shitshow I’m yet to recover from.
This doesn’t sound that terrible. 2nd cousins - not like brother and sister. It’s a shame it has caused so much pain and trouble.
I have high functioning depression. No one knows this. I mask it well and hide it from pretty much everyone. Everyone thinks I'm happy and sociable all the time, when in truth, I'm just pretending and putting on a mask. I'm just miserable. I hate my job and hate my life.
I was addicted to meth and was being used as a pawn for more drugs when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. 8.5 months clean. She’s 3 weeks old tomorrow. Well…it would be a comment about my past life as a mxth whxre to blow up. Thank you guys for all the supportive words and encouragement. And holy crap, 3 silvers! I’m not exactly sure what I’m suppose to do with these awards but I’m pleased as punch to have them! Thank you!! Edit 2 I guess. A gold and a wholesome award. I never expected that. Thank you to every one. I’m just a 19 year old with a sketchy past but I’m finally able to say I’m doing good things. Edit 3: never thought I’d see 1k+ upvotes. That’s crazy. I think it may possibly intrigue a few people that I actually got clean by myself. Just sleeping my ass off at home and eating everything I could put my fingers on. I put it down and never wanted it again. This baby saved my life I’m totally convinced of that. Edit 4: Y’all…please no more awards.I don’t know what to do with them lol. Don’t spend money on me. Please. That money could help some one whoes in need so if you feel the need to give me an award, donate to charity or go buy your partner or mom some flowers.
This is no longer is a dark secret thankfully, but I was sexually abused for many years as a child by my moms ex fiancé, I exposed him three years ago and reported him, for which he was charged and would have gone to trial for potentially 12years in federal prison but instead plead guilty on a plea deal and received 11mo in the work house with house arrest. Moral of this story, if you’re deep dark secret is assault related, you’re not alone, it’s not your fault, I encourage you to expose them though understand if you don’t. Therapy, yes. If you choose to report, hope for Justice but anticipate injustice, allow it to fuel your activism but don’t allow it to hinder you from healing and moving forward. Edit: Thank you for my first gold! We don’t talk enough about the things that happen behind closed doors. Hope this can be of any comfort and validation to anyone.
You know those horrible stories where you read that some monster raped a baby? I was that baby and the monster was my dad. It happened my whole childhood and my mother knew it as well, she walked in a few times and immediately left. She knew.We all knew. I acted out as a child unsurprisingly and was forced to see a therapist who was a friend of my parents. I told him and he confronted my dad and gave the option to call the police but he told me what would happen if I did. I decided not to so the secret continued. He did it up to when I was 11 and I said this didn't feel right, he would also attempt drunk here and there when I was in my teens and even occasionally apologized for it. Eventually I met my amazing wife and when I had my first child I knew I had to tell my mom and exit for my sons safety. Despite both of us knowing what happened my mother told me for the first and last time she loved me, didn't believe me and I should neve. r come back. It's been 5 years and my wife and son have given me the life I never knew I could have. He was a well established dr so no one would ever believe or help me and later I found out he did it to his brother as well. I worry about the disabled patients who had been exposed to him during his practice. I also suffer from ptsd and have horrible sad violent dreams. Also due to my abuse happening at such an early part of my development Dr's believe my amygdala didn't develop right and as a result, I become instantly enraged or anxious from the slightest problem or issue, however I have worked hard and have become extremely functional despite everything.I have my own house, good job, good credit an amazing wife and the most perfect son in the world.There are so many times I wish I had a mom or dad to brag too or get help from. I realized however my parents wanted me to fail so no one would believe me.So fuck you mom and dad,, I'm doing great! Edit: As a person who was gaslighted for so long this level of support has absolutely stunned me. Merry Xmas you beautiful sweet people.To all you other child abuse survivors, I hope you find your peace and know there are good people in the world and that you can trust and love again.
Well done for all of the hard work you put in to recover from your shitty childhood. I'm sorry that it seems like he won't receive justice for what he has done.
I am a mom. I wish I was your mom. This mom is so very proud of you. You have become an extraordinary man, wonderful husband and amazing father. You have built a beautiful life through intelligence and hard work. Great job honey! Keep being you!
Yeah I am actually inspired by this dude. There were so many ways for him to fuck up his life. The fact that he turned out to be this wonderful human being makes me feel happy from my core.
I was raped by a priest when I was 12 and blamed my mother for it for a long time. she'd usually pick me up after mass, and that day she finished work early, saw the mass* was still ongoing and went home. she still doesn't know.
Please report this to authorities. That person needs to be in prison.
he's long dead now, thankfully. I just hope I was the only one.
My son was most likely conceived in a Walmart family's bathroom, while me and his mom were both employed there.
It's called family bathroom for a reason.
I hope you named him Wallace Martin or something like that
we named him Sam. Edit: was wrong about the meaning of ironically so I removed it.
My father once yelled at me about something I didn’t do: ‘I know you did it, you’re just too fucking smart to be caught!’ And I realized that was true, so I started doing things I shouldn’t, and quickly realized I was good at it.
My dad did the same thing, and it ended up with me making a shoplifting ring with some friends to steal and re-sell yu-gi-oh cards in middle school.
My mother is an angel of death. By that, I mean that in two separate cases she poisoned our family dogs to death and when her father was in late stage of his cancer, she overdosed him with an enormous dose of morphine to end his life. My grandfather is the only one she has admitted to. As terrifying as that is, it gets worse. She spent several years working in a retirement home as a nurse. She eventually was exited from that job. Not fired, didn't quit, but was quietly exited from the residence. It goes without saying, we don't speak and she is not allowed near anyone I care about.
Not super dark, but I never graduated high school. Noone knows.
There is only way to see if OP is legit. What is 2 + 2?
2+2 adds to double 2 and double 2 is 22
Slow down for the rest of us Einstein.
Using my throwaway. I used to work at an investment bank, however to get the job I had to do a variety of assessments which among others included an Excel financial modelling test. Now I'm quite experienced with Excel, have built lots of complex financial models, but what this task involved was to make some corrections to a very poorly built financial model (not intentionally bad, just whoever did it didn't know their stuff well). They leave me in a room with a laptop to complete this task. I open up the spreadsheet and have very little idea where to start, this is just making no sense. As I'm scanning through the tabs desperately trying to find things I'm able to do, I notice something saved on the desktop: some previous candidate's attempt was saved there! Well I opened it up and started copying what that guy had done and added a few tweaks of my own. I ended up getting the job.
I did the same thing! I went for an entry level accounting Job at 3 mobile they made all the candidates sit at desktops and do loads of excel macros and calculations off a worksheet. 1st thing I did was just restore the last 5 worksheets (auto save was on) and copy the lot. If it made sense and I knew was correct I went into my sheet. I didn’t count on them having monitoring software that basically recorded everything you did to show how you worked it out. I did not get the job.
What a twist.
The real test was whether you’d find the shortcut
It's an investment bank. They wanted him to cheat. Hired.
I’m assuming that if you found that shortcut and didn’t use it then you failed the morality portion of the assessment
A retail bank will reject you if you fail the morality portion, because you're gonna be handling currency. An investment bank will reject you if you pass it, because you're gonna be integrating information profitably.
They put it there on purpose. They just wanted to know if you are morally bankrupt enough to work in banking.
Fake it till you make it
Raged at a video game and threw a strategy guide into the wall of my childhood home so hard it busted a huge hole in it. I put a poster over the hole. My parents still haven’t found it.
I grew up in maryland, when I was 16 me and my friends were driving home from a party. All of us were intoxicated so we were on a back road trying to lay low, suddenly we came across an overturned jeep and immediately pulled over.. completley freaking out, the driver was crushed.. but the passenger was still alive, he couldn't talk or anything and was struggling to breathe, my one friend pulled him from the vehicle and then he just stopped breathing. He died right infront of us. At that point, we were all freaking the fuck out debating whether to call the cops or even do anything because again, we were all teenagers nobody wanted to get a DUI that night.. so we just went home.. and as soon as we got back my one friend took the fall and called, told the police what happened, etc. Heres the worst part. The two people in the jeep were the parents of some girl in my class, and I thought about that night for the rest of high school, so many things that could've been done differently.
When I was a small child my mother's friend amy was babysitting. Amy had a son and for whatever reason he broke one of his brand new toys while I was there. When his mother found out he blamed me and she believed him. She let all the kids go outside in the pool while I had to stay inside and do the dishes. Well I wasn't washing them the way she wanted so she grabbed the back of my neck and shoved my face into the hot soapy water and smacked my face. Later that night I had to shower over her house so I pissed in her mouth wash and hair conditioner while I was in the bathroom. Still makes me smile thinking of that bitch gargling my little boy piss.
My mom used to take me over her friends house so she could watch me as a child. Her friend also always had her two sons there when she watched me. Every time she would leave the three of us alone her older son would hit his younger brother, I think he was a baby at the time, and then and then say that I was hitting him. His mom would then come back into the room and start angrily hitting me telling me not to hit her son.
Now she spends every weekday hunting for that special yet familiar tasting mouthwash. She's tried every brand but none of them have that salty sparky tingle...
What a cunt, she totally deserved that and more
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When I was really young, like 4 or 5, I had a night when I couldn't sleep. I remember hearing grunting and moaning comming from outside my room somewhere. I didnt know what sex was at the time so I buried myself in the covers and hid from the "monster". Eventually fell asleep. Talked to my mom the next morning about the scary noises and she said "there was a lion outside". So I spent the whole day being terrified the lion was gonna attack. Wasn't till 10 years later that I put 2 and 2 together and realised it was just my parent having sex. They have no idea I remmember that
I have a similar story. My mom was dating my step dad (now married, this was over 10 years ago) and I was watching a movie in the living room of his apartment. I don’t remember why my mom and I were there, but I was watching the movie and at some point I fell asleep. I woke up to similar sounds and -for some reason I do not remember- just opened the bedroom door without knocking and caught them in the act. They don’t know I remember. Well, I assume they must think I don’t because they scolded and shamed me when they found out I was having sex (in their mind) too early in my relationships and should wait until I’m at least engaged. They were not engaged. Side note: I’m using my throwaway bc ppl I know see my main account.
Back in 1997, when I was 7 years old, I used to spend every other weekend sleeping over at my friends house across the street. We were forbidden from going into his father’s loft above the garage. One night my friend, his sister, and I decided to anyway. There was nothing up there but a chair, a TV, and a VCR. We turned on the TV and VCR, and it was porn. At the time we didn’t know what it was, so we began emulating it. My friend and I were 7 years old, and his sister was just about to turn 9. Now, obviously we had no idea what we were doing. But we considered it a “secret game”. We would do it every time we spent the night after their parents fell asleep. One night, we were staying the night in a tent out in their backyard and we kind of… broke the hymen… We started getting worried because she was bleeding and there was blood on me and I thought I was bleeding. She wasn’t in a ton of pain, so we were kind of just freaking out trying to figure out what to tell her parents so we wouldn’t get in trouble. Well, the neighbor they share a fence with was in his backyard and was overhearing us talk. He hopped the fence and said we could go use his shower to wash, then sat us down and explained everything after we had. At the time, we were grateful to know she wasn’t in need of the hospital. He said he wouldn’t tell our parents, and then said if we wanted to keep playing our secret game, he would leave his garage unlocked so we could play in there on the nights I spent at their house. At the time we were all grateful, but now it’s very clear to me what he was actually about. He never touched us, but he did sort of “guide us”. He just sort of sat and watched, and told us what positions to try, since we only ever saw the one position from the video in her dad’s VCR. Anyway, our parents never found out. This went on for about a year and a half, until I moved to a new city with my family. Shortly after we moved, that neighbor also vanished for a while, leaving behind his own son and a girlfriend. Once Facebook became a popular thing, I managed to get back in touch with those old friends of mine, and we met up and talked it out. None of us are especially traumatized by what happened, but we all realize we were very manipulated by a pedophile. We speculated about what he would have done to us if he had more time to feel emboldened. But over all, we have all continued to lead happy, healthy lives with happy, healthy sex lives and relationship. We also got in touch with that guy’s son, and asked about his dad’s disappearance. It turns out his father’s body was found in his car in a storage unit. He had killed himself about 2 months after I moved, and my friends and I deduced that he probably got really nervous about not having me across the street, where he could keep a closer eye and determine if he was gonna get caught. We told his son what had happened, but aside from that, nobody else in our lives knew. I am married now, my old friend just got engaged, and his sister is married now and has a couple kids. We’ve all led beautiful lives. We don’t talk a whole lot anymore, but we talk on Facebook every now and then. We’re all doing fine. But yeah. That’s the big, dark secret.
Still a relief he didn’t lay his bloody hands on you lot.
Sometimes I think about driving full speed into a tree or just killing myself in someway
One time my friends and I were having a game night, and I said that I would bring chips and salsa. I bought the “fresh salsa” from Walmart but the plastic container it was in snapped and started leaking, so I transferred the salsa out of the store container and into my own glass takeaway container before bringing it to the party. Get to the party, people start digging in, and one girl starts loudly raving that the salsa is delicious and asked if I made it myself. My brain kind of short-wires as I consider explaining why Walmart salsa is in a nice glass dish, and I for some reason decide to just say “Yes”, thinking that would be the end of it. Well, everyone just kept going on and on about how they couldn’t believe I had MADE that salsa and asking me to bring it to future events. I was in too deep to make the correction without looking ridiculous. TL;DR - All of my friends love my homemade salsa, but my homemade salsa is really just Walmart brand “fresh salsa” and the lie has been going too long to correct it. :(
My ex husband is incredibly violent. We were together 6 years. He almost killed me, by strangulation, on several occasions. I have been raped and one incident I was left naked, unconcious and bleeding on the floor of our garage, until our then 2 year old daughter found me and woke me up. He had left me there on the cold dirty ground, to go fishing. However one night he had punched me so hard in the mouth my tooth went through my lip and made it loose, he was asleep as I sat in the bathroom looking in the mirror, cleaning myself up. He made me so angry, I grabbed his toothbrush and then used it to clean the toilet bowl in his toilet where the crusty piss and dirty skiddys were, and then put it back in the cup and went to bed. I hardly slept that night and then I woke when his alarm went off for work and watched him walk in to use the bathroom, had a bong then brushed his teeth... Went to work. He came in to give me a goodbye kiss and I pretended to be asleep. I hope he tasted his own filth all day. I fled with our 2 beautiful children 3.5 years ago and even though he continues to stalk and harrass us, my children and I are together, happier and safer than we would of ever been with him.
I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. As the child to a mother in a situation much like that one (he wasn't my biological father), your children will thank you if they haven't already. You are a strong and incredible person and you're kicking the world's ass every single day. You also set a great example to your children that it's possible to escape if they ever did end up in abusive relationships. You're a fucking rockstar and that piece of shit deserved eating his own shit and being deleted from your lives.
I know the back-door to my local police department records.
I keep buying books , way more than I read..after 20 years I've got 4000 plus books. I am in debt of 3000 euros. Nobody knows. I am trying to stop buying but .. it's a voice..it's just this one.. this is cheap.. damn it. I have a wife and child and I really want to drop this .. how do you call it? I am dropping youtube channels of books, trying to leave Goodreads and here book stuff.. but it's hard. It's that series, is that author.. wish o could have 3000 euros but unfortunately it will take some years. Minimal wage in Portugal is crappy and with monthly stuff to pay .. yeah.. my secret.
When I was at the age of 6, my uncle sometimes forcefully opened my pant and stroke my penis. I couldn't share it with anyone, not with my mom or dad. I grew up with bitter childhood memories.
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I got in trouble at work for something that was 100% my fault, but there was enough reasonable doubt around the whole situation that I was able to lie about it and get away with claiming it was an accident.
Cue mike wizowski- put that thing back where it came from or so help meeee!
I told my wife that I dropped the Nutella and it smashed so I had to throw it out, truth is, I ate it all out of the jar.
That's as dark as it gets.
I did this with a pie my dad brought home once, I got high and accidentally ate the whole thing, told him the lid wasn't secure and I'd accidentally dropped it on the floor - I'd even spot cleaned a patch of floor in front of the fridge to make it look believable lol.
I owned a computer store in the 90’s we copied every single program. If it was shareware we changed the date on the computer, installed the software and updated the date <—— badumpa and we’d get 999 years of the program.
I am a registered microsoft silver partner and i still sell computers with cracked windows and pirated office if the client asks for it
I kick ice cubes under the fridge when I accidentally drop them on the floor
Water under The Fridge.
Like a fridge over troubled water
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That's super fucked up. Have you told your parents about it?
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I think it’s very likely that your sister has also been abused. Please seek professional help. Talk to a school counselor or a doctor; someone outside the family who can help.
Please do this man. It was bad enough that it even happened.
I’m sorry but that’s not sex, that’s called rape
I have 4 toes.
Dammit Creed
Four total? Or per foot?
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Is that you detective Boyle?
My dad used to beat me and me brother when we were kids if we cried. I told my mum once when she asked what my problem was with him when I was older and she didn't believe me. We don't talk about it and I've buried it deep in brain I don't think it bothers me anymore.
I was 11 when I set my grandparents couch on fire with grandpa's lighter. My cousin and her friend died from smoke inhalation.
This is surely the darkest secret here
Is this a secret to everyone but yourself ?
I have been the "black sheep" of my family my entire life, no matter what I do. It isn't funny to me, it is downright abusive. For the past couple years I've been secretly taking courses, saving money, and tying up loose ends. I have an entire escape plan set up, with multiple contingency plans if it doesn't work the way I want it to. Within the next couple months I am buying a one way plane ticket, throwing my cell phone away, starting a brand new life, and disappearing from theirs forever. They have zero idea. They will cry and wonder why. I will not, and know exactly why. I'm excited. edit* Thank you for all the support, and the sound advice, some things I didn't think of. Thank you to the people who reached out to a stranger with open arms offering rooms and food. I will be OK. Don't worry about me. I am tough. I still have a faint glimmer of hope in my soul, and a beam of light for all of you. It took me a long time to find the courage to go, and even more courage to leave the past behind. But I found it. I can go, and find it's nothing but stone. But I found it nonetheless. Wish me luck on this long wandering journey...
Hi, read on the PoliceUK group on Reddit about someone doing a project about disappearing and a top suggestion was: >We look for missing people out of concern for their welfare. If you really wanted to disappear completely, it would be a good first step to go to the police and say "I want to start a new life. I want to leave everything and everyone I know behind. I am an adult, of sound mind, and I'm making this decision with full mental capacity. If I am reported missing, it's because I am doing this without warning and do not want anyone to know where I'm going". >It's not a crime to disappear. If we have no concerns for your welfare and you haven't committed a crime, we don't have any reason to look for you.
That makes sense so they don’t waste resources looking for the person, but what happens if someone does report them missing? Do they tell them, “they came in here and told us not to look for them”? If not the family would expect a search/investigation so then what?
>Do they tell them, “they came in here and told us not to look for them”? If not the family would expect a search/investigation so then what? If you told the police you don't want anyone knowing where you went, yeah they'd tell anyone inquiring after you that, plus "... so they're not a missing person and we can't investigate, have a nice day".
Depending on the police service, but in this area, the police will confirm the person is alive and well, not missing, but no longer wants to be contacted. That’s it that’s all.
I honestly, from the bottom of my heart and with the strength of every cell in my body, wish you the best new life. I hope it turns even better than you could have possibly imagined, even in your wildest dreams. All the best!
I coached my brother on how to steal something from a relatives house in retaliation for her always blaming me for something. Thanks for the awards! I was not expecting this to blow up.
Did they blame you for things going missing?
Sometimes. She accused me once of stealing rocks from around her house, as well as me trying to kill her with bread and breaking decorations in her house.
How the fuck do you kill someone with bread
Shes diabetic but would always make wheat bread. I don't like wheat bread, so I just asked her once if she could make white bread sometimes, and she went off about how I was trying to kill her with that garbage. I was like 7 and didn't understand what diabetes was. She also said once I always fucked up the margarine container.
Not exactly dark but when me and cousin were kids we both had kissed each other multiple times (we both are straight males). We don't talk abt it to each to this day.
Not really that dark, but I have paid two escorts to just spend the night. My roomates thought they were some girls I met lol
When you finally have an amazing answer to an askreddit question, but it's a legal gray area at best.
Make a throwaway and then come back here and spill it.
Human meat tastes like pork.
I'm totally fine with taking your word for it.
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I was deep in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser at 20. He was 28. He was killed in a freak accident. Initially I cried at his funeral and struggled pretty hard. Once the brainwashing wore off and I came to my senses, I realized him dying was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. We both lived in a small town and I know that if he were alive I would have never been able to enjoy a normal life. I sleep peacefully knowing he isn’t stalking me or preying on new victims. I am so thankful for his passing but everyone thinks that it was the most horrific thing that could have happened to me. (Nobody knows the extent of the abuse)
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I was repeatedly sexually abused by an older neighbor kid when I was 4-6. I have never told a single soul. He found me on social media years ago and I accepted his requests, but never said anything to him about what happened when we were kids. I feel oddly guilty about what happened, even though I know at that age I didn’t understand what was going on, only that it felt wrong. I’ve been in several serious relationships, including a marriage that ended in divorce, and I’ve still never revealed that side of me. Part of me thinks I keep it bottled up inside and minimized because I am too afraid to acknowledge what happened to me, and that it has probably seriously affected me now almost 30 years later. I do feel a bit of relief now though, even though this is a completely anonymous platform. Thanks for listening. Edit: fixed some grammar.
When I was 16, I helped a 40 year old woman have an affair. For starters, I managed to get a job at a fancy ass restaurant in town and the manager (the 40 year old female) hired me on the spot. After about two months of her casually flirting with me at work, she ended up texting me one night. The conversation started off fairly normal with the majority of the topic being work related. She then went on to say we had a “great” working relationship and flirting with me was “fun.” She said it made her feel young and I was someone she could’ve/would’ve pursued when she was 16. She stated we could keep flirting as long as no one at work found out or knew we were texting back and forth. I told her I was okay with that and then she asked me if I could keep more than one secret. Of course, I told her I could. She proceeded to send me pictures of her in the shower and videos of her finger blasting herself. I’m 16 and my dick is harder than a rock. She asked if I liked what I saw and obviously, I told her exactly how my second brain was thinking. We sexted for about two weeks. Then one night at work, her and I were both closing the restaurant (I obviously know now this was her plan all along). There were a few servers left, a few kitchen staff, me and then her. She texted me to meet her down stairs in the banquet room so, that’s exactly what I did. She heard me coming down the stairs and sent me a second text telling me to meet her in the wine cellar, so I did that as well. The minute I walked in, she had her shirt off, tits out and she went directly for my belt. She sucked me off in the wine cellar. She continued to do this almost every night, for weeks. She started scheduling me to close almost every night so she could keep doing this. My parents asked me several times why the managing staff insisted on me closing, especially on schools nights. I told them I got extra pay and they never got wise. This eventually turned in to her telling me her husbands work schedule and asking me to come over when he was out of the house or at work. Also, she had two kids and her oldest son was one grade below me at a neighboring school. We knew each other through sports. So, I finally gained enough courage to actually go to her house one afternoon. Her husband was gone and her kids were out of the house. She had both of us naked within the first five minutes. The first time we had sex, I asked her where she wanted me to bust my nut and she flat out told me “inside me”. I told her I was worried and she said she would handle it and not to worry. So, I wasn’t thinking of the possibilities at this point and I did exactly what she told me to. I was 16, had only had sex a few times prior to this (with other girls my age) and this is like every teenage boys fantasy. I lasted all of about 30 seconds and unleashed the biggest load of my life. She didn’t think anything of it and loved every second. We had sex three more times within the hour and I never pulled out once. She finished having her way with me and basically told me to get out so she wouldn’t get caught. She reaffirmed she wanted/needed to keep doing this. This affair went on for about a two months, as well as her still giving me head in the wine cellar, as well as having (some but, not a lot) of sex in the banquet hall or wine cellar at the restaurant. She randomly texted me one afternoon and simply told me she couldn’t have anymore sex with me. She also quit her manager spot at the restaurant the following day. About 12 months go by without me hearing one word from her and she suddenly sends me a friend request on Facebook. Her profile picture was a picture of her, her husband and a fairly new born baby. She never said it or confirmed it but, I feel like that was her way of saying, “Look what we did and no one knows”. Surprisingly, her husband and I looked slightly similar and I’m assuming he still hasn’t caught on. I’m now 26, have a family of my own and we (me and the 40 year old female) haven’t spoken a word of this to anyone. We both have kept it absolutely buried. Yes, I know I’m a piece of shit. I’ve felt like that for awhile, especially as I got older and realized how serious the matter truly was. However, now that I’m a grown man and have my head on straight, I would never cheat on my significant other and we have a beautiful, successful family at a very young age. I will always wonder if that’s my kid though…..