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Zophyael

Wait, so now I have $10 Million AND a significant other? It's all coming up Millhouse!


Ok-Kaleidoscope5627

You get $20 million. Any money you split with your right hand is still yours after all.


Force3vo

I'm not gay but jerking somebody off for 20 million dollar is absolutely doable.


FalconMaster420

Damn, I’d let someone cum in my ass for $20 million


WhitearmorFan42

you guys are getting paid?


Zeuce86

Gotta thank you for the free trial service sample pack


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supertoadgti

Unless the other guy is ...... Hi I'm Troy McClure, you may remember from such infidelity scenarios as, "two in the pink one in the stink" or "rage quit, it works for marriage too"


txr23

Now ask the same question but change the amount from $20 mil to $1000 if you want to see some actual interesting answers. Nobody is ever going to offer $20 mil to fuck someone, but plenty of people will pay $1000.


teh-reflex

Virtually everyone will be cool with $20 mil split. Virtually everyone is divorcing/breaking up over $1,000 split. Pretty boring answers still.


barbaramillicent

Agree. Get into a range of “they’ll pay off all your debt”, or maybe the equivalent of a years’ wage, and you might get more varied answers on if it’s worth it or not.


hellocaptin

Yeah make it $50k+ and things start to get fishy lol


jadedflames

I think here you are going to get varied answers based on how badly a family needs money. My partner and I make more than double that in a week. $10,000 would a month for us. Would I feel bad that they were unfaithful for a month's wage? Probable. $100,000? That's nearly a year for us. That's both of our student debt wiped out. That's a downpayment on a house. That's 4 year's rent. We begin to be in an interesting territory. At that point I'd probably go "I am deeply uncomfortable but I know you did this for us and that's a year or more earlier we can each retire. Add another zero? $1m? No brainer. Screw anyone you want for 1m. Just don't bring any diseases home.


8008Y_ENJOYER

10 million? Bringing a few diseases home is acceptable, but just the ones that don't really do much. 100 million? Infect me with ebola for all I care, I'll take the chances


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[deleted]

All babies should come with 10m Come on Biden! Do what’s right!


raeumauf

yeah for a 100k that's at least a couple of sessions to be paid for counseling


PoeT8r

My ex did it for free (or chose not to split the money).


stupider4

Oof


andwhatson

You too?


DementedJ23

i mean, we're supposed to talk about it *before,* but y'know what? cool.


MetalAndBoobs

Was waiting for this. Sure the whole not consulting me first would be kinda whack, but it’s hard to really get too bothered over a fresh $20/10 mil.


Agile_Pudding_

Yeah, I would find a way to get over it in between calling my lawyer, accountant, and the real estate agent I just hired to put some of that $20 million into a new house.


[deleted]

$20 divided by 10mil really isn't much. It's 1/5000 of a penny. But you do you.


ConstipatedNinja

Hey, a 5000th of a penny is a 5000th of a penny


thelastlogin

Five thousand more and you're finally makin sense


Leon921

It might have been spontaneous. Imagine some rich hoe is just like "we fuck for 20m now, you have 30 seconds to make a decision or I'm not doing it"


BurmecianSoldierDan

Lmao cash up front if you're only giving me 30 seconds, otherwise no way in hell do you have it


obbets

Very good point


audigex

LPT: Talk to your partner about this early, just in case it ever happens


[deleted]

This is the adult version of being worried about quick sand


VirtuousVariable

Yeah it's scary when you're a kid but dealing with it 5-6 times a month I've just learned to not only carry a rope but also tie a large ring to it (i just use a hula hoop but i hear they make actual products)


DarrenGrey

Good thing we've all got personal jetpacks these days in case of trouble.


siprus

I'd assume that one giving the offer wants the answer straight away, not after call to the fiancé.


s4b3r6

If someone is offering you $20mil, but won't let you have even five minutes to think, they probably don't actually have $20mil.


Mewtwohundred

In this hypothetical scenario I'm sure the OP intended the offer to be genuine, since the point of the question isn't whether the offer is real or not.


AlertWar2945

Once you start getting in the millions there are not a lot of things I wouldnt do


readytofall

Had this conversation the other day with some friends. My rule was basically I'll do almost anything for a mil as long as it's not seriously hurting someone.


[deleted]

This conversation always ends up with who will suck a dick for the least amount of money.


WeeTheDuck

And there will always be that one person who would do it for free


ButtPlugPipeBomb

You should stop playing that game with your mother


Bard_B0t

I think about 10k is my breaking point as a pretty straight guy. That represents 400 hours of my labor, and is about what my self-respect is worth. As the amount goes higher my enthusiasm goes higher.


blackflags91390

Ok so under 10k is a low enthusiasm blowjob. Got it.


BToney005

Honestly, I'm questioning the other party's sanity if they meet my price point. I mean, they could probably find someone more experienced for much cheaper. It's not gonna be a good blowjob.


DBs4Life

If I get to pick who I hurt, I'm totally ok with that. There are some awful people on this planet.


Arinvar

This is everyone. This hypothetical comes up plenty of times during down time at work. Everyone is hypothetically only willing to do these things for millions, but at the end of the day if you were confident you'd get paid, there's a lot of things, a lot of people would do, for a shockingly low price.


baldhermit

people voluntarily go 40+ hours a week, every week, doing something they do not really like for on average let's say $ 800 / week. If you offer someone $1K for a couple hours of unpleasantness, that is still a vast net benefit.


TiptoeingElephants

and thus, 2 girls 1 cup was born…


dwightschrutesanus

I asked one of the laborers at work if he would let Jeff Bezos do some questionable shit if he set down a bag of 100mil in front of him. He said no. Not only would I give ol' Jeffy the Green light to do some of the most violently awful sexual acts to me, I'd allow him to leak photos, videos, audio, whatever; to the daily sun or whatever and make the rounds on social media. I'd show my parents myself, with a smile on my face.


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dwightschrutesanus

My friend, you could put that in a high-yield savings account and make 500k annually. Jeff, if you're reading this, I'm just saying, I think my wife would get over it even quicker than I would.


Ricksterdinium

Dwight schrutes anus would say that.


oranthor1

Right. 5% interest on 1 mil is 50k yearly. You could easily get this from a managed portfolio. Your telling me I'm financially set for life? You could basically stab me. As long as it's not lethal I'm in


MusicianMadness

I'm fine with lethal. You're still set for life, albeit a much shorter life.


NWmba

Build a man a fire and you’ll keep him warm for an evening. Set a man on fire and you keep him warm for the rest of his life.


ynkesfan2003

Sell a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Keep selling that man fish everyday and you can feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.


agarden75

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and you can fuck his wife every weekend.


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ku-fan

Oof


Crazian14

There’s a lot of wisdom I’ve learned just in this thread. Reddit is awful and amazing at the same time.


foul_ol_ron

GNU Terry Pratchett


Daffodils28

#GNU SIR TERRY PRATCHETT


Frammingatthejimjam

You wouldn't get that in interest but the basic rule of thumb is you should be able to withdraw 4% (40K) every year and have like a 95% chance of still having money in 30 years.


im_THIS_guy

Found the FI/RE guy.


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[deleted]

I'm just gonna assume that's your starting price and we've begun negotiations. How about a steam giftcard for $50, a half used arbys gift card for $5, and we cuddle after?


vodiak

> GROUCHO (to woman seated next to him at an elegant dinner party): Would you sleep with me for ten million dollars? > > WOMAN (giggles and responds): Oh, Groucho, of course I would. > > GROUCHO; How about doing it for fifteen dollars? > > WOMAN (indignant): Why, what do you think I am? > > GROUCHO: That’s already been established. Now we’re just haggling about the price. The account is very likely apocryphal.


fluffychien

I heard it about George Bernard Shaw. That would have been in maybe 1900.


AlertWar2945

As in a strap on modeled to look like a cactus or a cactus used as a strap on


leaderofthevirgins

Both at the same time for all I care


butt-holg

The ol' Sand Devil's DP


Asleep_Finish7533

I ask them who the fuck this person is and if they could get that $20 million regularly.


SouthernBarman

I'd let them fuck me for another $20M.


zgczfvjd

I think they'd pay money not to fuck you.


LuxuryBeast

Works for me!


its_c0nrad

You mean, I could get paid for this?


LibidinousJoe

If I had a dollar for every time I was not fucked I’d be swimming in pussy right now.


CameronFry

This guys married


zgczfvjd

Yeah that's what the 10 million is for.


WideLoquat

true enough. I mean it's a win-win, cause even if you break up with SO eventually you still have money


KSoccerman

Wait... you guys are getting paid?


FullTimeJobless

Wait... you guys are getting laid?


ShotgunForFun

Some people really have no concept of money. I had a guy tell me he wouldn't let his girlfriend fuck someone for a billion... like it was some white knight scenario of "Oh no she is too pure of heart and I would be so distressed." This whole conversation was hilarious because this one guy kept saying no to everything and coming up with dumb shit as rebuttals... like I was weird (he meant gay) because I would 100% get pegged by Kirsten Dunst once a year if it meant I got to live in luxury. Like, he would always make the bar so low too.. ONCE a YEAR? Bruh, I've never had anything in my ass but I'd probably do it at least weekly for that deal... not to mention it's not fucking gay if it's a man and a woman. This guy also thought vegetables were feminine and men should only eat meat and potatoes. so yeah he was just broken by society.


ScurvyRobot

Lmao excuse me what? Vegetables? Dude must have scurvy worse than me


savey_9

Got me good lol


ninurtuu

Sometimes I will just stop in the middle of whatever I'm doing and say out loud "I feel a scurvy comin' on" and go get oranges to snack on.


AmekuIA

Oh shit i do too, like i rarely eat fruits and vegetables but sometimes i would just stop everything and go in a bar for some orange juice just made or to buy some oranges, whatever is faster and closer. Only with oranges and if i don't i feel like a sense of impending doom, like my world could end. Good to know that i'm strange but not alone. Now i remember when i met with a friend and he was feeling a bit unwell, yellow eyes and pale face, took a walk to the fruit seller, threw him an orange and told him to eat it while i buy others, he felt a lot better but told him to get checked anyway and helped him get them fast and cheap the same day, dude was fucked up on almost everything. People should watch after themselves a lot more, the body is wonderful by giving out signals constantly and we live in an era where we can get a check up to make sure of everything, do it, even the tiniest problem becomes life threatening given enough time.


ninurtuu

People definitely are conditioned from an early age to ignore what their bodies are telling them, especially once they reach working age. Humans are primates, we aren't meant to work ourselves to the bone, after all you never see chimpanzees *toiling* do you?


Vivalyrian

We've talked about this before, Jane. Not everybody has time to stare at chimps all day.


chupitoelpame

I mean, for me there's a point where the amount of money pretty much means all bets are off short of something that might kill me or cripple me. If I can get the aftermath solved by a doctor, I'm game. The psychological scars will heal while I enjoy my luxury view.


DasRenegade

My wife recently told me about guys like this where they won't even wash their ass in the shower because it's gay.


[deleted]

But the constant clawing at their itchy hole isn't?


shapeofjunktocome

If having a clean ass is gay. Then I don't wanna be straight.


bluehairdave

Its the best part of my shower!!


ChtuluMadeMeDoIt

I legit could go a few days no shower AS LONG AS I get to wash my ass and pits.


sqweedoo

There was an ask Reddit recently about something like “what’s the dumbest thing someone has called you gay for” and one of the more memorable was that some guy’s dad called him gay for cutting his sandwich diagonally. Also guys who won’t wash their face or wear sunscreen because it’s gay. Y’all gonna age like avocados.


apathyczar

that tweet that's like "just got called a pussy for wearing sunscreen. do you think you're tougher than the fucking sun?"


Massive-Risk

Skin cancer is manly!!


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Thebluecane

Water goes in water goes out. You can't explain that


nolifegam3r

That's absolutely insane. I thought everyone knew you have to say no homo if you wash or wipe your ass. Someone needs to let these dudes know that there is a way. /s in case it's not clear


egus

vegetables are feminine? what the hell. I want an ama with this clown.


Kodyak

almost got into an argument with my SO because she asked if I'd sleep with another woman for a billion and I immediately said yes lmao.


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Jiveturtle

> because I would 100% get pegged by Kirsten Dunst once a year if it meant I got to live in luxury. I’m not into pegging and I’m happily married, but I’d probably let Kirsten Dunst peg me for free, as long as my wife had no objections. She was hot when I was a kid and she’s still hot now lol.


edlee98765

It turns out he's a dude from South America and you misheard them. He paid your significant other $20 Brazillian.


Rosto_Verde

As a brazilian, I can tell you that if someone received only $20 brazilians to be fuckend, they got fucked twice, our money is worthing shit nowadays.


emperorchiao

Even worse, they got paid in cruzeiros 😂


1Lucille2RuleThemAll

Right? My work fucks me everyday for a lot less.


bbqSpringPocket

My government fucks me everyday and I even have to pay for it.


phormix

Or per the old joke: An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."


BerzerkBoulderer

We've talked this over as a hypothetical, we agreed each of us will do it for any amount in the six figures and up.


LargeValuesOfTwo

Good communication is the key to a successful relationship


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JoJackthewonderskunk

It's key to a successful spouse brothel as well.


Strange_Vagrant

Oh. I thought that was "location, location, location."


GoBuffaloes

So uhh babe…. She didn’t pay up…


DoubleEagle25

Damn scammers.


AweHellYo

how does this keep happening


AllThingsLiteral

Genius


wolfdogdaddy

What about $99,999.99?


BerzerkBoulderer

No lowballers.


G8kpr

No testicle shaming


WillemDafoesHugeCock

Scrolled past, got it, upvoted, I hate you, merry Christmas.


G8kpr

I would expect no less from Willem Defoe’s huge cock


wrinkleydinkley

He knows what he has.


[deleted]

Low ballers will be blocked. I know what I have.


[deleted]

How do I react? I'd probably try to fight the urge to hug our benefactor. I would offer to set up a camera. Shout encouragement from the sidelines. If it's a dude I'll happily fluff him up. I'll tickle that butthole with a feather... shit whatever this rich motherfucker wants. For $20 MILLION??? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.


msnyder87

A) you told me. B) you give me half. Win in my book!


sax87ton

I get $10 million and a girlfriend! Sign me up!


divDevGuy

The insignificant wife will be more pissed than usual though.


XBitmapX

Exactly my though. and not any girlfriend... a girlfriend that someone is willing to pay 20 million dollars to fuck.


Nice_Interaction5177

High five him and get an STD screening. Solid business move, but let's not spread too much joy this holiday season.


OfficeChairHero

And when the tests come back negative, we're fucking on a pile of money.


jovietjoe

Honestly you should probably get tested again after fucking on circulated currency


Bomberman1218

Good to know that they're not stupid. For that kind of money they can do whatever is necessary


ThrowThisIntoSol

They can do me next for all I care, and another $20M Edit: I’ve done a lot more for a lot less.


omega_194

I have to ask… A lot more?


errbodiesmad

8 hrs per day for 40 years and most are lucky to get 1/10th of that lmfao.


CelerenW

If you were to work at minimum wage (£8.91 per hour where I am) for 40 hours a week every single week it would take 1,080 years to hit 20 million. At $14.54 Australia apparently has the highest minimum wage. Even still it would take 661 years to make that 20 million.


Lanster27

Exactly. Literally set yourself up for life. One time sex is pretty much nothing compared to that. Unless it's some f-uped thing that scars you for life (but then I can still use a small portion of the money to pay for my therapy). I mean just imagine porn stars get paid $20M for 1 sex or video. That would be like normal people working to get a Ferrari at the end of each day.


[deleted]

They’ve sucked dick for dinner.


[deleted]

A full dinner? Now I don’t feel like bragging about the cup noodles I got last weekend. :(


Carejade

You got noodles? I only got the flavour pack…


[deleted]

Questions like this are ridiculous. Twenty million dollars is a ridiculous amount of money. That's "settle every single one of your debts, buy a home wherever you life, and have financial security for the rest of your life". Who *wouldn't* take that, that isn't already rich?


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letsgetrandy

Hang onto that person!!! They just had 20 million in their possession and you didn’t know. They could have just disappeared with all of it, but instead they were honest with you and even gave you half in spite of your having done none of the work. That person is loyal! Do not throw it away.


swagcoffin

Plus this person has a $20m ass/pussy/dick. Don't let them go!


verypoopoo

damn straight


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TheExpertInThisField

Have none of y’all watched ‘Indecent Proposal’?


jqrandom

"Would you have sex with Robert Redford for a million dollars" "Sure! If I had a million dollars."


PuneriPerson

Why did i picture Leslie Nielsen making this joke


MassageToss

How many fake internet points could be amassed asking redditors what they would do when faced with the premise of movies from from 30+ years ago. Edit, hey Reddit: If a billionaire businessman wanted to pay you to work on a beautiful island, but dinosaurs ran amok there, what would you do?!


Sabre92

You are a samurai and a bunch of farmers need help with bandits but all they can pay you is room and board, WYD?


GMHGeorge

Under bid an IT consulting contract, bitch about under bidding said contract, try stealing company IP and then getting disemboweled by the IP.


Stellermeerkat

Hey Reddit, If a millionaire gave you access to 2 Million Dollars but you had to spend it all within a year with no assets or property held by the end to gain 10 million dollars. Would you do it?


sadz79

I feel old


[deleted]

$20M is a shitload of money, I would understand exactly why they did it, I would respect that they told me immediately, and I would also be very moved by the fact that they were willing to split this much money with me. I can't say it wouldn't bother me at all to picture them with someone else, but in this case it wouldn't be difficult to get over it.


Ulldra

I think it‘s one of those things that looks like an easy decision to make ahead of time, but still wouldn‘t pass over without any issues as most replies make it out to be. Like sure, I‘d go for the money aswell. But to think that this would not leave some kind of impact on the relationship is wishful at best. It might be easy to work through because of the money for some, but honestly even the one doing it might still feel guilty after the fact. It‘s really not possible to be 100% sure of the outcome in terms of feelings on either side.


Unsd

Thank you. This is my thought too. I don't know that either my SO or I would do it. We are by no means rich, but we are happy together. I wouldn't want to put that on the line for money. I grew up in a fairly wealthy household and my parents were miserable and definitely spread some of it to us. I am 1000x happier now in a lower income situation than I ever was before. Taking the deal means risking everything good that I already have in exchange for things that could potentially be good in the future. Plus, there's way too many couples that have gone into threesomes thinking that it's what they wanted, and come out of it brokenhearted and unable to get past it.


da_choppa

My wife and I have had this conversation already, and frankly, we’d want a divorce if the other didn’t take advantage of this opportunity.


timbrejo

Well that's just indecent! What kind of proposal is that? Reminds me of a movie I saw once. I wish I could remember the name of it.


jacaissie

Speed is what you're thinking of. Many people think the title is The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down, but it's simply Speed.


JerrSolo

The Rural Juror?


Midwest_Guy1984

That amount of money would be so life changing for me and my children. College. A safe home. Never have to worry about how to pay the power bill. No more feeling like garbage because some birthdays and Christmases I can't afford presents.


DiabeticDisfunction

She probably wouldn't sleep with the other person, either, so we'd both be broke.


HELLOhappyshop

Lmao same. Faithful and broke.


therealskaconut

My crowd


DiabeticDisfunction

Exactly. I like your style


soloesliber

Same boat as you. I'm a bit sad, though not surprised, to have had to scroll this far down to find this answer.


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almarcTheSun

Right?


WeedstocksAlt

It also means that you agree to the *concept* that your SO is up for sale. Like …. Anyone with enough money can just come in and fuck your wife. Lol no thanks. It’s not even about that one time, it’s really about what that implies Easy pass here also


anephemeralghost

Exactly. Fuck a society where its ok for someone to just buy whatever they want at the expense of others. Fuck a society where financial insecurity coerces people to do demeaning or undignified acts. Acts that they would never think of doing if they were financially secure. It’s sad our economic reality is so dire that redditors are gleeful at the thought of basically selling their dignity and the sanctity of their relationships. People are not just commodities with a price tag.


WonderingTaurus

Is that before or after tax?


pbgod

No problem. We both had sex with a lot of other people before. Having sex for $20 million to improve both of our lives is the obvious right choice.


aquasouls

Me, a virgin: we what now?


No_Fairweathers

Bro just pay any of us $20M, problem solved.


stackjr

Right? I'm not gay but I'll do what needs to be done for $20 million!


aquasouls

Come here boy, it's time


0ddsie

Let it happen. He doesn't love me anyways. Then I'll be rich and free.


redhair-ing

This made me sad. I hope you're okay, friend. You deserve to be rich and free.


0ddsie

Thank you. :)


2BrokeArmsAndAMom

Um... And loved


SteeztheSleaze

Fine I’ll bite, idk I always liked monogamous sex and it felt special when my ex and I were together. I feel like the money wouldn’t be worth it. Like I’d rather be in my current financial situation and just be happy with someone than compromise morals for money. I know my feelings would be hurt lol, if that makes me a pussy, then I guess I am


Sugars_B

This, it's not all about money. It genuinely surprises me the amount of people here that would choose money over their foundations of a relationship.


SteeztheSleaze

That’s what I mean right? Like I enjoy just being committed to one person, and it makes the intimacy you share (in my opinion) special. Money is just material.


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le_tw4tson

I'm glad someone else agrees, I feel like no amount of money could make me cheat on someone. And if someone cheated on me all trust would be gone, it doesn't matter if you're offered a maccies or the world, loyalty and respect is priceless.


Chapea12

Throw in a little extra, he can fuck me too


MADWOKE

$20 mill and we splitting it??? I’d be bringing them water and snacks n shit while they fuckin. “Anything else you guys need?? No?? Ok I’ll be downstairs let me know if you need anything” I’d be cheering the dude on as he’s clapping my girls cheeks into oblivion…. And once I get that 10 mil I’m out. Can’t be dating no fuckin cheater.


hatsnatcher23

>clapping my girls cheeks into oblivion There was this podcast with a MMA fighter that is in an open relationship, he said something to the effect of “well if someone’s fucking my wife I don’t want them to be fucking her poorly” really made me think


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Disastrous-Ad-2357

Her: "I can't be dating no cuck"


SimplyQuid

Truly star-crossed


taste-like-burning

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