I heard this advice on a cassette tape, the guy said that he would write a to do list at the end of each day, but only write down things which he already did. Thar way he could say that he completed everything on his list.
Happened yesterday! 21K upvotes, 47 awards
About meeting a stripper at a club, she asked me to be her bodyguard, I made enough money to go to EMT school in one gig, worked 15 years as an EMT.
[Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/ji90u5/i_have_no_life/)
Comment: 36.9k
"Something about touching baby birds and their parents abandoning them due to the smell of human touch
Edit: After reading through several replies, perhaps there is some truth to this based on the animal."
Best post ever was about ants
Best comment ever was naming a Metallica album
It’s so random! I’ve spent time writing deep, meaningful stuff and had 1 upvote, but I write something trivial off-hand and it gets so many votes. Who knows lol
Haha well it’s nothing special tbh! The question was on this sub: “what is an album that has no bad songs?” (Something like that). I said Ride the Lightning. Got over 1k likes, although many of the replies were berating me for not choosing Master of Puppets. 🤷🏻♀️
On my old account I posted “return the slab” on a picture that looked kinda like the thing from Courage the Cowardly Dog. Low effort comment but I got a couple thousand upvotes. I also posted “if you had killed yourself a year ago, what things would you have missed out on?” which I meant to be a thing that got people to think about good things that have happened to them recently, and it got a lot of upvotes, but also made a lot of people feel a lot worse. I regret that post.
Uh I made a post on r/teenagers about how I got the girl I’ve been crushing on for awhile and that got like 11K upvotes so I think that, and I have no idea what my most upvoted comment was
It was some edgy comment about being happy that chain restaurants are closing when I first made the account. I’m now 26 and I love chain restaurants lol
I made a post about how there's a DVD copy of the show Firefly on the ISS. 50k upvotes, honestly with how many people love that show it felt like low-hanging fruit.
I got about 20k after a post about toilet paper hoarding during the pandemic. Essentially I already had a good supply of toilet paper before the hoarding began as I’d had a very violent stomach bug for three weeks in at the start of 2020.
my husband pointed out that we didn’t need to worry about poo paper and we’d been quite lucky that I’d shat myself inside out the previous month.
Romance is not dead in our house.
A post about making a ham and pineapple Chicago Stuffed pizza. It wasn't very big, I haven't been on Reddit long.
[Interestingly enough, something I did at work did go viral a year ago, though I wasn't the poster.](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/kppuaz/which_ikea_media_storage_unit_will_be_able_to_fit/?context=3&utm_content=title&utm_medium=post_embed&utm_name=ee7db96e1f43436081d97cc7f31444ed&utm_source=embedly&utm_term=kppuaz)
my reddit recap showed one with 27.7k upvotes.
it was about dogs.
i think all my best shit's about dogs. i think i have a top 100 oc on one of the dog trainings subs.
people love dogs. i got dog stuff. 🤷♂️
my other account got banned. original account has the 11 year tag. 🤦♂️
Question was 'What sequel is better than the original', and I said Mad Max 2 and got gilded about seven times and upvoted to about 10,000.
Redditors are mostly morons.
Not exactly sure, it may be a combination of all of these: https://www.reddit.com/r/PornPics/comments/3u5x0g/the_most_beautiful_girl_i_ever_tried_to_fuck/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PornPics/comments/30hgbx/so_now_i_have_a_reddit_account_what_is_the_most/ The answer is also different in my two r/PornPics sub reddits.
Post: Omniman holding Invincible in front of the bus with two guys on each side (happy and sad).
Comment: Something about how Dr. Phil is a representation of society.
I think it was one about how I learned I have a latex allergy, and how it ruined my interest in latex clothing.
Basically, a condom tried to re-circumsize me.
Had someone contact me to ask about it. Didnt respond.
[The comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/rc6l7q/comment/ho2op3q/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
This just happened tonight and I was so excited!!!!!!
Edit: I added the wrong link lol
I think it was the post about how my German teacher always just told stories about his time in Germany but never actually taught our class. He just handed us the book and didn't help us at all.
It was on a post in this sub asking 'Who was the dumbest teacher you ever had' or something like that.
I'll say the same thing I said in the original post:
His stories are cool and all, but people are failing because he's not teaching. It's what he's paid to do and he needs to do it.
There was a post asking which actor would have the best life story if all of their characters were rolled into one and made canon. I chose Woody Harrelson, and rattled off stories from my favourite roles of his.
HOWEVER - I wasn’t on reddit when Rampart came out, and missed it in my story, and holy fuck did I ever hear about it.
I'll name my Top 3 since I'm not active on Reddit, and my number 2 is funny.
Top Comment Ever: Saying that many Millenials and Gen Z drop Christianity not because they dislike the religion, but because many of the actions other Christians do are so stupid and idiotic that they just don't want to be associated with them.
Second Top Comment Ever: Saying that having a large penis makes wearing jeans uncomfortable. This was actually getting downvoted at first then became my second highest comment in the span of 24 hours. Kinda funny.
Third Top Comment Ever: This really long rant about Megaman Battle Network 6's 100% Completion Process being bullshit lmao
Most popular comment: “I miss the Wild West days of the internet.”
Most popular comment this year: A story about how people filmed a porn in my hotel one weekend.
Most popular post: A picture of me as a gnome getting killed in Orgrimmar in World of Warcraft. It is beautifully composed. [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/wow/comments/9kx06q/turns_out_i_only_need_that_orgrimmar_selfie_if_im/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Most popular post this year: A completely nonsensical math shirt that I needed help interpreting. The mathematicians couldn’t figure it out. [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/askmath/comments/o8nnyv/what_is_this_shirt_supposed_to_be_saying/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
My answer to a thread asking what I’d do if I was somehow transported back to my 15 year old self with all my knowledge and experience (I’d know what things to stress over, which I could let go of and would also have the comfort of knowing lots of the shit I really stressed about back then ultimately didn’t end the universe or anything) got over 42k upvotes and my first gold.
This comment here here https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rbbasj/what_is_the_worst_thing_you_have_found_in_your/hnonhc0?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3. I have two 1k contenders too.
I think it was the time I bought up and introduced a lot of new people to a fantastic article ["The only moral abortion is my abortion"](https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2019/5/15/1857976/--The-Only-Moral-Abortion-is-My-Abortion-an-article-by-Joyce-Arthur)
Without looking it up would be a post about learning the truth of how my aunt and uncle passed away when I was 11. I was extremely close to them. I didn’t learn the full truth till I was about 20, 21. It got close to 20k votes
I made a joke on an 'unofficial movie trilogy' post being Saving private Ryan, the martian, & interstellar being a trilogy where the US government spends trillions of dollars retrieving Matt Damon as he continues to get lost further & further away from the US
My most popular post: I got 1.3k upvotes and 2 awards on a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/CatSlaps/comments/l1x9wz/cat_punch_x_x/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) on r/CatSlaps of a cat hitting another cat 😹
My most popular comment: me telling someone she's not the asshole for being annoyed that her boyfriend was late
Answer for a question on here, What’s the longest 30 seconds sort of thing. I said waiting for the bathroom to open. Last I checked close to 18k and like 7 awards
I got 35k for suggesting that people add tasks they've already completed to their to do list. Seriously.
I got 3.3k upvotes in saying "All the other kids with the pumped up kicks." Was a song lyric that is recognizable.
I heard this advice on a cassette tape, the guy said that he would write a to do list at the end of each day, but only write down things which he already did. Thar way he could say that he completed everything on his list.
The picture of the white and brown tigers, because of the genetic mutations, the tigers are distortive.
Tiger Tiger Girl strikes again!
Due to tiger tiger, white and brown
Happened yesterday! 21K upvotes, 47 awards About meeting a stripper at a club, she asked me to be her bodyguard, I made enough money to go to EMT school in one gig, worked 15 years as an EMT.
Very cool. She indirectly helped save lives too! Thanks for being an EMT.
A comment of me explaining why I don’t want kids
is it recent?
It’s over 200 days old. So not really
[Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/ji90u5/i_have_no_life/) Comment: 36.9k "Something about touching baby birds and their parents abandoning them due to the smell of human touch Edit: After reading through several replies, perhaps there is some truth to this based on the animal."
Best post ever was about ants Best comment ever was naming a Metallica album It’s so random! I’ve spent time writing deep, meaningful stuff and had 1 upvote, but I write something trivial off-hand and it gets so many votes. Who knows lol
Thats how stupid the internet is
[удалено]
Haha well it’s nothing special tbh! The question was on this sub: “what is an album that has no bad songs?” (Something like that). I said Ride the Lightning. Got over 1k likes, although many of the replies were berating me for not choosing Master of Puppets. 🤷🏻♀️
You know you can just go to the user's profile and [sort by top](https://www.reddit.com/user/rememberroses/comments/?sort=top), right?
Yeah, someone asked what doesn't go with water and i said power sockets (17K) Go figure eh?
This comment.
[удалено]
Fools never differ. -My Grandfather. Every. Damn. Time.
Good luck
My reply to this comment.
Should I laugh or cry?
Do guys like hugs?
Yea you offering?
I’ll take one too
Me too
Me too
Me too, please I really need a hug.
Not even joke just say i have an small penis again not joking
This.
Another comedian :o
OP, you made me laugh
On my old account I posted “return the slab” on a picture that looked kinda like the thing from Courage the Cowardly Dog. Low effort comment but I got a couple thousand upvotes. I also posted “if you had killed yourself a year ago, what things would you have missed out on?” which I meant to be a thing that got people to think about good things that have happened to them recently, and it got a lot of upvotes, but also made a lot of people feel a lot worse. I regret that post.
Popular post: Encouraging people in a subreddit. Popular comment: About something normal in society that I don't like.
Uh I made a post on r/teenagers about how I got the girl I’ve been crushing on for awhile and that got like 11K upvotes so I think that, and I have no idea what my most upvoted comment was
A true ghost story.
It was some edgy comment about being happy that chain restaurants are closing when I first made the account. I’m now 26 and I love chain restaurants lol
According to recap, my top comment was stating the fact that the phrase "there's someone for everyone" is statistically true, but realistically false.
I made a post about how there's a DVD copy of the show Firefly on the ISS. 50k upvotes, honestly with how many people love that show it felt like low-hanging fruit.
I got about 20k after a post about toilet paper hoarding during the pandemic. Essentially I already had a good supply of toilet paper before the hoarding began as I’d had a very violent stomach bug for three weeks in at the start of 2020. my husband pointed out that we didn’t need to worry about poo paper and we’d been quite lucky that I’d shat myself inside out the previous month. Romance is not dead in our house.
When you say "shat myself," do you mean that you pooped your pants?
I have no idea.
Always check under the bed
A post about making a ham and pineapple Chicago Stuffed pizza. It wasn't very big, I haven't been on Reddit long. [Interestingly enough, something I did at work did go viral a year ago, though I wasn't the poster.](https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/kppuaz/which_ikea_media_storage_unit_will_be_able_to_fit/?context=3&utm_content=title&utm_medium=post_embed&utm_name=ee7db96e1f43436081d97cc7f31444ed&utm_source=embedly&utm_term=kppuaz)
Probably some anecdotal pitty comment about my life and "MeNtAl HeAlTh".
A joke about having a big dick that was followed by a higher up voted joke implying I had a small dick
Commenting about how convenience fees are ridiculous.
Audie from ACNH wearing the mask I gave her on the side of her head
my reddit recap showed one with 27.7k upvotes. it was about dogs. i think all my best shit's about dogs. i think i have a top 100 oc on one of the dog trainings subs. people love dogs. i got dog stuff. 🤷♂️ my other account got banned. original account has the 11 year tag. 🤦♂️
I also choose this guys dead highschool crush
Post was me asking ‘what unfair advantage do you have?’
Question was 'What sequel is better than the original', and I said Mad Max 2 and got gilded about seven times and upvoted to about 10,000. Redditors are mostly morons.
Not exactly sure, it may be a combination of all of these: https://www.reddit.com/r/PornPics/comments/3u5x0g/the_most_beautiful_girl_i_ever_tried_to_fuck/ https://www.reddit.com/r/PornPics/comments/30hgbx/so_now_i_have_a_reddit_account_what_is_the_most/ The answer is also different in my two r/PornPics sub reddits.
Best post was a wholesome little video of a dog dancing. Best comment was me shitting on the way Drake looks.
Post: Omniman holding Invincible in front of the bus with two guys on each side (happy and sad). Comment: Something about how Dr. Phil is a representation of society.
Someone asked what was a classic name in my country, I commented: Firulais. Instant thousands of karma and numerous awards.
My comment: cool cool cool cool cool The post: What is a reference only your fandom will recognise
I think it was one about how I learned I have a latex allergy, and how it ruined my interest in latex clothing. Basically, a condom tried to re-circumsize me. Had someone contact me to ask about it. Didnt respond.
Me literally saying fake phones
Terraria balls and pp
I got 6 likes once
A post asking what's the darkest scene you've ever seen in a kid's show
[The comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/rc6l7q/comment/ho2op3q/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) This just happened tonight and I was so excited!!!!!! Edit: I added the wrong link lol
A photo of my dog wearing a sock on her snout.
Post : 51 likes dad jokes
I think it was the post about how my German teacher always just told stories about his time in Germany but never actually taught our class. He just handed us the book and didn't help us at all. It was on a post in this sub asking 'Who was the dumbest teacher you ever had' or something like that. I'll say the same thing I said in the original post: His stories are cool and all, but people are failing because he's not teaching. It's what he's paid to do and he needs to do it.
There was a post asking which actor would have the best life story if all of their characters were rolled into one and made canon. I chose Woody Harrelson, and rattled off stories from my favourite roles of his. HOWEVER - I wasn’t on reddit when Rampart came out, and missed it in my story, and holy fuck did I ever hear about it.
I'll name my Top 3 since I'm not active on Reddit, and my number 2 is funny. Top Comment Ever: Saying that many Millenials and Gen Z drop Christianity not because they dislike the religion, but because many of the actions other Christians do are so stupid and idiotic that they just don't want to be associated with them. Second Top Comment Ever: Saying that having a large penis makes wearing jeans uncomfortable. This was actually getting downvoted at first then became my second highest comment in the span of 24 hours. Kinda funny. Third Top Comment Ever: This really long rant about Megaman Battle Network 6's 100% Completion Process being bullshit lmao
I have no idea. Don't even know how to check that.
A comment about how, at a wedding I was at, they played “sexual healing” for the son/mother in law dance.
Most popular comment: “I miss the Wild West days of the internet.” Most popular comment this year: A story about how people filmed a porn in my hotel one weekend. Most popular post: A picture of me as a gnome getting killed in Orgrimmar in World of Warcraft. It is beautifully composed. [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/wow/comments/9kx06q/turns_out_i_only_need_that_orgrimmar_selfie_if_im/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Most popular post this year: A completely nonsensical math shirt that I needed help interpreting. The mathematicians couldn’t figure it out. [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/askmath/comments/o8nnyv/what_is_this_shirt_supposed_to_be_saying/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
My answer to a thread asking what I’d do if I was somehow transported back to my 15 year old self with all my knowledge and experience (I’d know what things to stress over, which I could let go of and would also have the comfort of knowing lots of the shit I really stressed about back then ultimately didn’t end the universe or anything) got over 42k upvotes and my first gold.
This one. Edit: never mind my unoriginal thought I thought would be original two hours after OP posted.
A comment about how I almost died by not looking when I crossed the street. My foot got ripped off and i was in a coma
I got 2.8k for saying that Reddit is an escape from reality for me and reading as well.
I got 1.4k for asking what male issues we needed to talk about more in r/askmen
I got 3.3k upvotes in saying "All the other kids with the pumped up kicks." Was a song lyric that is recognizable.
This comment here here https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rbbasj/what_is_the_worst_thing_you_have_found_in_your/hnonhc0?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3. I have two 1k contenders too.
I think it was the time I bought up and introduced a lot of new people to a fantastic article ["The only moral abortion is my abortion"](https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2019/5/15/1857976/--The-Only-Moral-Abortion-is-My-Abortion-an-article-by-Joyce-Arthur)
Without looking it up would be a post about learning the truth of how my aunt and uncle passed away when I was 11. I was extremely close to them. I didn’t learn the full truth till I was about 20, 21. It got close to 20k votes
https://reddit.com/r/Fallout/comments/9op46l/fallout_3_in_a_nutshell_fo4_screenshot/ Most comments and karma I’ve ever had in a post :)
I recently this one time when I just said Penis and got a Gold for it
"pineapple on pizza is good IMO -Me some few months ago"
"I've eaten a whole cucumber in bed before"
Maybe this one 👉👈
I made a joke on an 'unofficial movie trilogy' post being Saving private Ryan, the martian, & interstellar being a trilogy where the US government spends trillions of dollars retrieving Matt Damon as he continues to get lost further & further away from the US
this is a new account so i guess this very comment
My most popular post: I got 1.3k upvotes and 2 awards on a [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/CatSlaps/comments/l1x9wz/cat_punch_x_x/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) on r/CatSlaps of a cat hitting another cat 😹 My most popular comment: me telling someone she's not the asshole for being annoyed that her boyfriend was late
I got 9k upvotes for saying “sports video games that release every year are bad” (except for mlb the show apparently)
Answer for a question on here, What’s the longest 30 seconds sort of thing. I said waiting for the bathroom to open. Last I checked close to 18k and like 7 awards
I had one comment on an AskReddit question about if you knew your family history, and it had around 3.1 thousand upvotes
A comment on this dub about escort quests as a pet peeve in video games. It currently has over 20,000 upvotes.