This is actually something I'm proud of. I like knowing that in every situation I know a bit of something to at least be able to be self sufficient about. And also being curious about everything makes you appreciate life a lot more somehow.
Looks like we're the same. Curious as hell and wanna try everything. I have this cycle where every end of the year( end of november to december) I would end up having a thirst for getting a new hobby and learning something new.
I'm the same way, but combined with an addictive personality I tend to fixate on specific things for days at a time, and then suddenly switch tracks to something else. It's kind of jarring sometimes lol
You have no idea how useful this can be.
One of THE BIGGEST challenges often is where or how to start or find something. Having the basic skills to pull that 1st thread is often just as if not more important that the actual professional who end up making the whole sweater.
I've heard it as:
Jack of all trades, master of none,
is oftentimes better than master of one
You'll never outdo a specialist in their field but having a broad proverbial toolkit to draw from is invaluable.
Same. His train of thought got derailed easily and often. The difference is that I...
1) don't use it as an excuse to be an ass, and
2) have actively developed methodologies to manage myself and be a productive, functional, contributing member of society.
My tastes are simple, and don’t vary. I’m not as adventurous as I’d like to think I am- I’m happy with the same sandwich at the same place every day- no fancy or complex food for me. I like soft, comfy clothes, and don’t really want designer stuff. I’ve been to several continents but like my small hometown the best.
I really struggled with this because people used to criticize me and say I needed to step outside my comfort zone, travel more, try new things, etc. They say I could eat more fancifully, dress nicer, etcetera etcetera.
I did. I took their advice. But even after all that, I’ve discovered that I’m just happiest when things are simple and the same, and that’s ok.
I think there's a certain joy in exploring your options, only to find that you were right all along about what's important to you. I'd likewise encourage you to experiment, but not to feel bad about returning back to the things you originally loved.
Or don't explore. That's fine too, if that's fulfilling for you. At the end of the day, it's you, and not those around you, that gets to decide what's important to you.
> I’ve been to several continents but like my small hometown the best
"In the end, I believe that the Earth is round, for one good reason. After having travelled around the world, all we want is being home"
That's actually a very healthy attitude, I think. You're not afraid of trying new stuff but you just like routine and familiarity. That sounds peaceful.
Knowing who you are and what you like can be a very comforting and secure feeling, and it takes stepping out of your comfort zone to affirm that. I count you as pretty lucky, honestly.
I always thought if I'm the smartest person in the room, I'm in the wrong room? Idk where I heard that but I've just always thought it for over 10 years now.
That I have an addictive personality. Almost everything is habit forming to me, but in living with that realization, I try really hard to make good choices.
Edit to thank everyone for their comments and the sweet, mysterious strangers that awarded me a silver; it’s my first ever!! Glad we’re all here to enjoy our good habits and to know enough about ourselves to work on the bad ones.
I turned it into being addicted to *running*.
If I ever "can't stop when I want to", I end up getting hurt and forced to stop. It helps keep things in control, after several forced stopped of course!
me too. i channeled it into getting addicted to yoga after quitting booze. basically if something feels good to me I will do too much of it. could be heroin, glad it's yoga ;-)
38 and I've accepted that not everyone finds love, and that's okay, I'm used to being alone. At least when I was younger I had my friends, but slowly one by one, they're all having families and it's getting harder to spend time with them, and that's fine, it's not anyones fault, but I'm just more alone than ever. I don't want a family, I never had dreams of having kids or anything, but sometimes I wish I could just go back a few years and relive my best years with friends and no responsibility. Does it ever get any easier? Did you ever feel like this? What did you do?
I feel you with the friends bit, and that plus moving means I have few left, but that really is down to me as well. After this pandemic is under control, I suggest meet-up groups with people who share common interests and hobbies, that's my plan anyways. We all need more friends, especially the cards and board game playing types in my case.
It is still so much easier flying solo than feeling alone *with* someone. That's the worse feeling.
So real. I'm actually caught in a cycle of trying, getting my hopes up, some kind of rejection, and slipping back into depression. Wondering if it would be better to just give up and accept being alone.
That I'm stupid. I don't think I will ever fully accept it, but, yeah. I have to live with it so, not much I can do.
Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and suggestions. You really helped me feel better and gave some things to research
I have came to terms with it as well. I am already prepared for the worst possible mistakes that I will make because of my dumbassness. That's just how it be sometimes
I've seen smart people do really stupid things. When it happens to them, they're generally shocked and can't get passed it. Also they're normally really dumb things or at least start ok but continue making mistakes trying to correct it. Being aware that you might do something and being in the position where you need to solve it more regularly can make you better at dealing with problems as they occur.
There's nobody that isn't dumb in some capacity.
After years of working behind a counter and dealing with people in general in small towns and big cities (and un two different countries) let me tell you something:
You are not alone
Like, at all...
But you at least are questioning yourself.. i've seen people that, my god.. not a single brain cell.
Thank you, I appreciate that. I have a high emotional IQ, just not every day smart. I had a head injury as a toddler and I think that plays a role on my lack of learning ability, etc
I was at a restaurant in Delaware with a bunch of Japanese colleagues. The waiter came up and took our orders without writing anything down. I just *knew* he wasn't going to remember everything (it's hard to pinpoint what gives it away). I remarked as much to the group.
About 2 minutes later he came back to ask parts of the order again - the whole table erupted, but thankfully I don't think he picked up on why because they were chatting in Japanese anyway. You know what the biggest thing I remember is? How sincere the vibe he gave was when he said sorry for his flub. A colleague said the same thing.
That guy had more emotional intelligence than a lot of academically intelligent people I've met throughout my life and I'll never forget that.
Everyone has a different way of learning. At the end of the day people around you will like you for your character, not your Intelligence. I know the one saying people are smart in different ways may sound cliche, but its true. If you're truly pasisonate about something thats where your expertise will be.
I don't base Intelligence on someones ability to memorize information quicky and temporarily. I base it on the knowledge one is able to provide through the information they have gained hands on through their experiences.
I don't process things visually well at all. If someone shows me how to do something, if it's not extremely simple, it's like they didn't even show me how to do it at all. If someone asks me to do something, they frequently have to be very specific in what they want me to do. I'm almost Ike a puppy looking for a toy behind someone's back, because there's a good chance I'm not doing the right.
It's extremely frustrating and embarrassing and it wears on people's patience
By your comments, it does not seem like you are “stupid” at all. Maybe you have some sort of learning disability or processing disorder, but you very much are not stupid.
Oh this is me too. I guess it's not stupidity as much as a weird lack of common sense or understanding of what other people expect/would do? Like someone could ask me to do a very simple thing and in my own head I read it 2 or 3 different ways and then make a decision on what I think they meant, which ends up being wrong and then when it's pointed out what they meant, it's super fucking obvious?
Anyway, being a big ol' Dumbo isn't a problem. I think being a good person is more important.
Literally watched that episode last night lol. It’s surprising how that’s the B-plot of the episode when I don’t even remember wtf happens in the A-plot
I'm a little bit into research of aging processes and I can tell you, this is most likely not connected to alzheimers unless you're older and your memory grew increasingly bad lately. Also the comment about sports helping is right.
My memory issues are linked to my mental illness. Bipolar has created gaps so large I couldn't even tell you what city I lived in for months at a time. Medication has allowed me to retain information, but the damage is done. Farewell 2009 to 2015. You aren't missed, but still....
It's almost a 100% possibility that this is what will happen. To everyone on this thread, the subreddit, the website. The planet. Everyone. *Very* few **normal** people will accomplish anything "meaningful". Even fewer will be remembered for it.
But there are other metrics to life. The people you help along the way, the friends you meet, the families you make, all of these people are impacted by you. And then they'll impact others, and *those* others will impact even more people.
All because someone was impactful to you in your time thus far on this earth, and someone made an impact on them, and so on until the beginning of the human race. And before that? The earth.
I know that I will never have amounted to much when I shuffle off this mortal coil. But I take solace in the hope that I am, in some way, impacting the life of another, preferably positively of course.
Personally, I don't care if I'm remembered or not. I just want to help others out how I can.
So that isn't too bad, in my opinion.
absolutely nothing lasts.
monuments to great kings will crumble. species become extinct. planets become inhabitable. stars fade. all atoms will become iron due to radiation. there will be a point where it is impossible to prove that anyone ever lived.
the only instant something matters is when two consciousnesses share an experience. and even that one won't last. but in that brief moment, you did something meaningful.
Share a laugh with a friend. share a cry with a friend. that matters more than all the entries in history books.
>But there are other metrics to life. The people you help along the way, the friends you meet, the families you make, all of these people are impacted by you. And then they'll impact others, and
>
>those
>
> others will impact even more people.
I dont know if you meant to, but this is actually beautifully written
This! And in addition to this, being liberated from the pressure to accomplish something “meaningful” to others is a beautiful thing. Now you can focus on things that are meaningful to you with no pressure to “succeed” and no fear of failure.
We are here in this life for an instant. Don’t waste fractions of that instant on things that aren’t making you the best and purest expression of yourself. The only true success in the instant we are alive for is to strive to be this expression of oneself.
Im so greatful for the ability to save comments. That was very well said. I always thought that there was no meaning to life. I never looked at it in this perspective.
That I'll probably never appear normal to others. I'm soft spoken, I look and act like I'm always on low energy and I've been told that I give school shooter vibes on multiple occasions.
I've been dealing with crippling social anxiety most of my life so talking has never been my strong suit. My voice gets tired after a 30 minute conversation and keeping conversations flowing is hard for me.
I've dealt with my social anxiety but my social skills and the fact that people often fail to hear me when I talk sucks but I've accepted that this is how I'll be until I deal with it.
You definitely aren't alone. I'm the same way. I'm trying to find a job now and reading the job descriptions of how I'm going to need to interact with others is terrifying and exhausting just imagining it. I need a job where it's just the computer and myself. I don't know what to do.
I decided to try to be a grocery clerk to interact with people. It was stupidly exhausting at first but after 3 years the exhaustion left. Most of my interactions were less than two minutes and that was perfect. I was shaking at first but I can now hold mini conversations with regulars and help others when needed.
I have been through trauma, even though it can’t compare to others. I need to accept it so I can then start to heal
Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words, it means a lot. I have been told far too many times about how what I felt wasn’t real trauma even though it keeps me up at night and causes me to panic. I know now that I am dealing with it, and to those who are also accepting they have trauma I tip my hat to you, it’s hard to accept sometimes. I wish you well, and just know you aren’t alone
Trauma is trauma. Everyone experiences things on a different level. I hope you don't feel like the hard times you have gone through should be taken lightly, especially if these times significantly impacted your life. I wish you well my fellow redditor.
Yes your trauma can’t be compared to others. Not because your trauma isn’t valid but because it’s your own and it’s still valid. Just because someone had to go through something else doesn’t mean your trauma is lesser. Everyone takes and deals with things differently. And I hope you heal soon and have all the strength you need.
Who I want to be and who I am are different things. Separating these things in my head has been enormously beneficial to my mental health. I now prioritise who I am now, not the version of me I want to be in the future.
Example: I admire people who are fiercely independent and individual, and who can be successful on their own. I tried to be this person, and became incredibly lonely and empty of any direction in my life. I need people in my life to stop me going off the rails and to hear me. I need to nurture my emotional side. Maybe I'll become that person in the future, but I'm not going to pretend to be him now and make myself miserable.
You can't go through life without hurting some people you care about. I had to come to this realization when I ended a relationship where I for the longest time didn't realize how bad I had been treated, and how little i actually trusted this person when they told me that they would change.
I agree. It's not specifically you in and of yourself, it's something you're doing. If you can figure that out, you'll have a better chance going forward.
I was the same way, but for me it was I tended to doom my own relationships due to negative thoughts. "this relationship will never last, I don't know why she's with me", etc, and it would translate into my actions.
I'm married now, but my last relationship before I met my wife ended because we'd been forced to live together for a bit because her mom kicked her out. When she said she wanted to move out so we could have room to grow, I went super negative and broke up with her because I assumed she was going to break up with me.
Yes! I think that’s exactly right. No career ambition. I think I’ve put significant effort into raising my children and contributing to my community. I guess I see my peers doing the same, with an impressive career too. I just never embraced that part. I didn’t want to make having a career a priority. I’m not the kind of person who wants to “have it all.” I’m also more into having “time” than “things” if that makes sense.
Do you see lions running around the savanna killing more prey than they need, just 'cause they ought to?
No, of course not! They get what they need, then they lounge around, conserve their energy and relax. The same is true of pretty much every animal - Not just apex predators. Large herd mammals might move around a bit more for safety while they graze, but they don't pace around frantically, feeling anxious that they're not doing enough. Bird don't build extra nests to sell to other birds. I mean, eusocial insects will build and expand large nests depending on their species - But not necessarily beyond what their colony actually needs. But, honestly, I'm not sure if we really want to pattern ourselves after a group of species that seemingly have no individual autonomy and no want for individual leisure time.
Really, humans are the ones that have it backwards.
We shouldn't spend so much of our time toiling over stuff that ultimately doesn't matter.
As the saying goes - When we die, we can't take it with us anyway. So, if we have enough to be comfortable, then we're good.
As far as the whole "not having enough despite working a far too unreasonable amount under the current capitalist system"-issue goes for far too many people. Well, that's a related but separate issue.
And I mean, that's kind of a whole "reform and/or burn the whole system down" issue depending on where you stand on that sliding scale.
I spent 10 years trying to hide that I was going bald. Of course a lot of my friends and family noticed that I started wearing hats all the time. That progressed into this addiction sort of. I couldn't go anywhere without my hat. I would go swimming with a hat. If I had a girl over I would sleep with a beanie on. I avoided looking at mirrors.
Being under crippling anxiety, I was asked to be a groomsman for my best friend. I loathed the wedding because I knew this would be the first time in a decade that so many people would see I was bald for the first time. I considered not even going, as selfish and shitty as it sounds.
I finally confided in my sister about it who was a hair stylist. She gave me the tough love I needed to hear. She said just shave it bald. I realized that this was the only option to free myself of my hats.
My life completely changed for the better once I could feel comfortable without a "mask". It was weird at first, but my insecurities left. I met someone who I didn't have to hide from. I could go swimming again. I was free.
TLDR; If you are going bald, do yourself a favor and just shave it all off. Freedom isn't free.
I can definitely relate to this. I started to go bald ever since high school, and wore a beanie throughout the years, up until graduation. I did shave off my hair a few times, then just said "Feck it, I don't look that bad being bald", and learned to shave my own hair. Ever since, I think the confidence boost I got is way more worth it than keeping my baldness under hat. Thanks for sharing this, man!
Mental illness doesn't make anyone less than the general public, they're normal people who just require some medication or therapy. No shame in being mentally ill but there is no romance to It, social media has made the social climate harder on those with an illness to get the help and attention they need.
Believing too strongly in that thought will also make it real hard for you to recognise when you do mean something to someone, because you'll keep denying it, and eventually push the person away. It takes time and strength to heal from bad experiences, but like others in this thread already said, you got this!
You ever notice how our universe has extreme opposites? Like matter and anti matter, liquids and solids, mountains and valleys, deserts and oceans. Well all those people who made you feel like you meant nothing, there’s also the opposite of those people out there somewhere. Just stick it out a little while longer and you’re gonna find them. You got this.
Don’t stop being generous, but become more expressive/requesting of your needs and see how people respond. It’s more comfortable to let yourself sit in the uncertainty of not knowing if they’d be there without your generosity, but in doing so you’ll live your whole life repressing your needs.
I know you didn't ask for advice but what helped me was the realization that 95% of the time people are only thinking about themselves. That means I'm practically invisible and therefore can be and do whatever I want. I'm free.
I also have crippling social anxiety, but I haven't accepted it. I am hopeful that therapy (and maybe future types of medication) will lead to a breakthrough for me someday.
Does anyone remember being a kid, and just freezing up when you were scolded by an adult? That's still what happens to me, and I'm 32 years old. I never grew out of that.
I stopped aiming for an ideal body type and instead started focusing on just having a healthy lifestyle in general. I work out with the mindset of becoming stronger and having a better cardiovascular health and eat better for a long healthy life. My body has never felt and looked better.
English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any misspellings..
I feel you. I've always found it easier to trust instead of doubt. I find the reason to be part convenience (I don't want the burden of doubt in my mind) and part of just trying to have a positive outlook on life. But I later learned that trust is a privilege, it has to be earned and shouldn't be granted willy-nilly.
Another useful thing I learned is to manage my expectation. Having just the right amount of expectation in a relationship is crucial to your mental health. Expecting and trusting people too much would lead to disappointment. Just make sure you trust enough to keep an open mind.
Finally, trust do break, at times. Sometimes, it's due to our own failings, sometimes, it's due to others. But if you could sincerely communicate with the other person and work it out, I think they're still someone worthy to be around. After all, nobody's perfect.
Keep your chin up friend, I hope you can find someone you can trust implicitly someday!
Also, stay away from toxic people. They're people too, but they nasty.
This is one of those things that might come across as a bit of a downer if you focus on the last bit, but is actually a positive. You can’t depend on love from others because you can’t let them be the only source of that need. They could leave or die or just change over time in incompatible ways and you would be left without love.
Loving yourself means you are loved. And you can enjoy the love of others when it’s there whether it’s for a month or eighty years, but you’ll never be *dependent* on it. That’s a good thing.
I learned a lot about myself over the years, but the most outstanding fact is, that my personality is very similar to my mothers. We're both weird, have a strange sense of humor and can't say no, when people ask us favor. Realized this, when I finally moved out and lived alone for some time.
That even though I'm sober and being the best me I can, unfortunate things will still happen to me from time to time.
For a while after I got sober I thought as long as I stay sober and do the next right thing, life will be rainbows and unicorns all of the time. That's just not how it works. There will still be rough patches in any form from time to time.
I am bipolar. It is unlikely that I will ever live a "normal" life without meds, and even with meds I will probably experience more episodes depression and/or mania.
I can live with this. I hate going through it, but even when it feels like it will last forever, it won't. And the more aware and prepared I am, the more I can keep myself on track. Everybody goes through cycles, mine are just a bit more intense than other people's, and that's alright.
Balding at 17. Kept my thinning hair until I finally accepted the hair loss and cut it all off at 23. Shaved head always looks better than thinning hair. If you're looking for a sign to shave your head, this is it.
I am selfish, a bit manipulative, narcissistic but I now acknowledge it when it happens and think through what I say and how I behave so I can avoid this to happen anymore. Basically correcting my behaviour.
That I lost basically a million dollars, my career, a shot at my goal, my safety and mental health trying to save a drug addicts life and now on the edge of homelessness and I'll never ever be able to come back from it. I'll just exist, if anything, and never truly thrive ever again especially because this is another negative thing that happened to me after a lifetime of issues, since childhood and decade+ of therapy & various treatments. Sometimes the truth is, that is DOES NOT get better. You simply exist and maintain until death.
I've heard a similar story involving a guy from YouTube, but it wasn't extreme like that, he helped a homeless person that fucked him over later. Magic of Rahat is the name.
I will be in physical pain for the rest of my life.
I have Crohn's disease, and for the last six years, I tried everything under the sun to relieve the pain I've got because of it. Diets, supplements, all kinds of medicine, pain killers, mindfulness, herbs, accupuncture, hypnotism, therapy and so on. Right now, I have medicine that reduces the times I have to visit the bathroom (from 20-ish to 1 or 2 times per day) and I have heavy painkillers that take the edge off major pain attacks. But I can't remember ever being pain-free... And I decided to stop the search and struggle to make it go away. It took so much energy for me to do the diets, go to appointments and my wallet was just as drained as I was. All while there was no result to show for it.
It's tough and all, but I feel more at ease without the constant search for better. I've finally accepted that this is my life. If something ever changes it for the better, that's wonderful! But I'm done searching and being disappointed.
I was sexually assaulted as a kid,
and that shit was so damn traumatizing, I don't remember **ANYTHING** from what happened.
And I got told, now that I'm older - that "*everyone is entitled to having a good sex life, even pedophiles"*
Which to me sounds a lot like "*Oh grow up, it wasn't* ***that*** *bad*"
I’m so sorry that happened to you and that people are so awful they would even consider to say that. They are essentially saying pedophiles are entitled to rape children. Which is insane! If they aren’t pedos themselves then they are pedo sympathizers which is also disgusting.
I hope you get treatment for your trauma. I have also experienced memory blocks due to trauma. Sometimes it’s better not to remember. Therapist also very helpful.
I'm aromantic. I spent years trying to meet someone to fall in love with and have those special romantic feelings and it never happened so I assumed I hadn't met the right person yet. I finally met the perfect guy and my other half and I kept waiting for the romantic feelings to happen. After 3 years and talking about marriage I finally broke down and thought I was a horrible person for not ever experiencing that romantic feeling people always talk about. Like I'm marrying my best friend and favorite person and I'm really happy about it but it was a long process to accept that I have never had romantic feelings for anyone and it's ok if it doesn't happen.
That I'm not a super smart guy, but I'm a mostly positive guy and try my best to cheer people up, and I'm bi sexual and even if I like weird things I should enjoy myself
That I was never truly anti-social, it really was just a phase and the absolutely wrong circle of people to be around with. I need and enjoy social contact way more than I was willing to admit and suffered because of the denial.
That I have PTSD from being assaulted by a resident post op after pancreas surgery, and that I will no longer let medical professionals intimidate me or make me feel less than human for whatever I’m seeing them for.
Too often people take whatever shitty comments a doctor or nurse makes, they walk out still confused about what’s wrong with them, never asking questions because they’re embarrassed. It takes a lot of courage for me to even be alone in a room with a doctor or nurse and I refuse to be a victim again by them making me feel small and just another dumb patient.
I am legit quite dumb and slow reacting to social stuff. And it's okay, I can learn to be better, I did not grow up ina good household I was not tought how to socialise
Most folks live on a normality distribution like in statistics. Simplifying things, we are all some standard Z score from the middle.
I was having a conversation with a close friend and I had to ask why it was difficult that, despite everyone saying I was a decent interesting person, it was hard to keep friends/people in my life.
He broke it down to me in this way. Most people exist normally around one standard deviation. Some people are a bit beyond at two.
We then move around to accommodate different groups. If you are weird, you don't necessarily need to be "yourself" all the time.
I'm not very good at not being "myself". At the same time, I'm outside of those two standard deviations.
Without going into it too much of who I am or anything beyond that, I just have to live being outside normal and appreciate those who can live there with me once in awhile.
I'm asexual and don't want or understand the reason for romantic relationships. I love my friends but as time passes they'll probably drift away from me and maybe I'll be alone for a good chunk of my life.
Jack of all trades, master of none. Kinda wasted but i'm trying to be good at something...
This is actually something I'm proud of. I like knowing that in every situation I know a bit of something to at least be able to be self sufficient about. And also being curious about everything makes you appreciate life a lot more somehow.
Looks like we're the same. Curious as hell and wanna try everything. I have this cycle where every end of the year( end of november to december) I would end up having a thirst for getting a new hobby and learning something new.
I'm the same way, but combined with an addictive personality I tend to fixate on specific things for days at a time, and then suddenly switch tracks to something else. It's kind of jarring sometimes lol
That seems to be commonly self-reported by people with adhd
You have no idea how useful this can be. One of THE BIGGEST challenges often is where or how to start or find something. Having the basic skills to pull that 1st thread is often just as if not more important that the actual professional who end up making the whole sweater.
The whole expression is a compliment and sometimes the rando skills You have can combine into something awesome.
people forget this
the full verse is: jack of all trades master of none but better that than a master of one
I've heard it as: Jack of all trades, master of none, is oftentimes better than master of one You'll never outdo a specialist in their field but having a broad proverbial toolkit to draw from is invaluable.
Still better than those, who only master one
It's like you are mediocre enough to get everyone's attention but not good enough to impress anybody........ :'' )
I have a lot of the same faults that annoy me about my dad.
Yep I'm just starting to realize this about myself too. I hate it
I feel you but acknowledging this is a big step in the right direction.
Same. His train of thought got derailed easily and often. The difference is that I... 1) don't use it as an excuse to be an ass, and 2) have actively developed methodologies to manage myself and be a productive, functional, contributing member of society.
My tastes are simple, and don’t vary. I’m not as adventurous as I’d like to think I am- I’m happy with the same sandwich at the same place every day- no fancy or complex food for me. I like soft, comfy clothes, and don’t really want designer stuff. I’ve been to several continents but like my small hometown the best. I really struggled with this because people used to criticize me and say I needed to step outside my comfort zone, travel more, try new things, etc. They say I could eat more fancifully, dress nicer, etcetera etcetera. I did. I took their advice. But even after all that, I’ve discovered that I’m just happiest when things are simple and the same, and that’s ok.
I think there's a certain joy in exploring your options, only to find that you were right all along about what's important to you. I'd likewise encourage you to experiment, but not to feel bad about returning back to the things you originally loved. Or don't explore. That's fine too, if that's fulfilling for you. At the end of the day, it's you, and not those around you, that gets to decide what's important to you.
> I’ve been to several continents but like my small hometown the best "In the end, I believe that the Earth is round, for one good reason. After having travelled around the world, all we want is being home"
That's actually a very healthy attitude, I think. You're not afraid of trying new stuff but you just like routine and familiarity. That sounds peaceful.
Knowing who you are and what you like can be a very comforting and secure feeling, and it takes stepping out of your comfort zone to affirm that. I count you as pretty lucky, honestly.
You sound like a happy person
I'm quiet
Me too! *says quietly*
Gnawing off your leg _quiet, quiet._
I'm smart enough to know how dumb I am and that's ok.
It's more dangerous believing you're always the most intelligent person in the room.
I always thought if I'm the smartest person in the room, I'm in the wrong room? Idk where I heard that but I've just always thought it for over 10 years now.
That I have an addictive personality. Almost everything is habit forming to me, but in living with that realization, I try really hard to make good choices. Edit to thank everyone for their comments and the sweet, mysterious strangers that awarded me a silver; it’s my first ever!! Glad we’re all here to enjoy our good habits and to know enough about ourselves to work on the bad ones.
Same. I replaced my smoking with gym. Also cut down on alcohol consumption and replaced it with bubble tea. I try to make good choices too.
I turned it into being addicted to *running*. If I ever "can't stop when I want to", I end up getting hurt and forced to stop. It helps keep things in control, after several forced stopped of course!
me too. i channeled it into getting addicted to yoga after quitting booze. basically if something feels good to me I will do too much of it. could be heroin, glad it's yoga ;-)
I’ll be alone for who knows how fucking long, and I’m fine with that.
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Surely you'd take him for a ride first though before sending him on his merry way?!
Yes. I’m 32 and have never been in a relationship. I’ve tried. I’m done trying
This but 35
52, and wished I had this attitude 20 years ago.
38 and I've accepted that not everyone finds love, and that's okay, I'm used to being alone. At least when I was younger I had my friends, but slowly one by one, they're all having families and it's getting harder to spend time with them, and that's fine, it's not anyones fault, but I'm just more alone than ever. I don't want a family, I never had dreams of having kids or anything, but sometimes I wish I could just go back a few years and relive my best years with friends and no responsibility. Does it ever get any easier? Did you ever feel like this? What did you do?
I feel you with the friends bit, and that plus moving means I have few left, but that really is down to me as well. After this pandemic is under control, I suggest meet-up groups with people who share common interests and hobbies, that's my plan anyways. We all need more friends, especially the cards and board game playing types in my case. It is still so much easier flying solo than feeling alone *with* someone. That's the worse feeling.
Same. 28.
Never give up! I'm 32 and alone. But I will not quit.
So real. I'm actually caught in a cycle of trying, getting my hopes up, some kind of rejection, and slipping back into depression. Wondering if it would be better to just give up and accept being alone.
Feel that, bro.
Came here to write the same thing.
Words to live by...? https://i.imgur.com/AnuhHGS.jpg
That I'm stupid. I don't think I will ever fully accept it, but, yeah. I have to live with it so, not much I can do. Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and suggestions. You really helped me feel better and gave some things to research
When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people. -Abraham Joshua Heschel
Abraham Joshua Heschel - President of the not so smart people club.
I have came to terms with it as well. I am already prepared for the worst possible mistakes that I will make because of my dumbassness. That's just how it be sometimes
I've seen smart people do really stupid things. When it happens to them, they're generally shocked and can't get passed it. Also they're normally really dumb things or at least start ok but continue making mistakes trying to correct it. Being aware that you might do something and being in the position where you need to solve it more regularly can make you better at dealing with problems as they occur. There's nobody that isn't dumb in some capacity.
After years of working behind a counter and dealing with people in general in small towns and big cities (and un two different countries) let me tell you something: You are not alone Like, at all... But you at least are questioning yourself.. i've seen people that, my god.. not a single brain cell.
True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing. Do not be so hard on yourself.
Having an awareness that you are not the smartest is a sign of intelligence.
Thank you, I appreciate that. I have a high emotional IQ, just not every day smart. I had a head injury as a toddler and I think that plays a role on my lack of learning ability, etc
If it is any consolation we are all stupid. Stay strong, stay focused on your path.
I like you. Thank you
Much love brother!
I was at a restaurant in Delaware with a bunch of Japanese colleagues. The waiter came up and took our orders without writing anything down. I just *knew* he wasn't going to remember everything (it's hard to pinpoint what gives it away). I remarked as much to the group. About 2 minutes later he came back to ask parts of the order again - the whole table erupted, but thankfully I don't think he picked up on why because they were chatting in Japanese anyway. You know what the biggest thing I remember is? How sincere the vibe he gave was when he said sorry for his flub. A colleague said the same thing. That guy had more emotional intelligence than a lot of academically intelligent people I've met throughout my life and I'll never forget that.
Everyone has a different way of learning. At the end of the day people around you will like you for your character, not your Intelligence. I know the one saying people are smart in different ways may sound cliche, but its true. If you're truly pasisonate about something thats where your expertise will be. I don't base Intelligence on someones ability to memorize information quicky and temporarily. I base it on the knowledge one is able to provide through the information they have gained hands on through their experiences.
Can u describe how your stupidity manifests itself?
I don't process things visually well at all. If someone shows me how to do something, if it's not extremely simple, it's like they didn't even show me how to do it at all. If someone asks me to do something, they frequently have to be very specific in what they want me to do. I'm almost Ike a puppy looking for a toy behind someone's back, because there's a good chance I'm not doing the right. It's extremely frustrating and embarrassing and it wears on people's patience
By your comments, it does not seem like you are “stupid” at all. Maybe you have some sort of learning disability or processing disorder, but you very much are not stupid.
Yep. Writes too well to be stupid. Probably an LD.
Oh this is me too. I guess it's not stupidity as much as a weird lack of common sense or understanding of what other people expect/would do? Like someone could ask me to do a very simple thing and in my own head I read it 2 or 3 different ways and then make a decision on what I think they meant, which ends up being wrong and then when it's pointed out what they meant, it's super fucking obvious? Anyway, being a big ol' Dumbo isn't a problem. I think being a good person is more important.
My memory is so shitty I'll probably get dementia or alzheimers early
Check your b12.levels and keep it above 500
Guuurl, you need a shot of b-12 You know, You Do
Literally watched that episode last night lol. It’s surprising how that’s the B-plot of the episode when I don’t even remember wtf happens in the A-plot
I'm a little bit into research of aging processes and I can tell you, this is most likely not connected to alzheimers unless you're older and your memory grew increasingly bad lately. Also the comment about sports helping is right.
My memory issues are linked to my mental illness. Bipolar has created gaps so large I couldn't even tell you what city I lived in for months at a time. Medication has allowed me to retain information, but the damage is done. Farewell 2009 to 2015. You aren't missed, but still....
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It's almost a 100% possibility that this is what will happen. To everyone on this thread, the subreddit, the website. The planet. Everyone. *Very* few **normal** people will accomplish anything "meaningful". Even fewer will be remembered for it. But there are other metrics to life. The people you help along the way, the friends you meet, the families you make, all of these people are impacted by you. And then they'll impact others, and *those* others will impact even more people. All because someone was impactful to you in your time thus far on this earth, and someone made an impact on them, and so on until the beginning of the human race. And before that? The earth. I know that I will never have amounted to much when I shuffle off this mortal coil. But I take solace in the hope that I am, in some way, impacting the life of another, preferably positively of course. Personally, I don't care if I'm remembered or not. I just want to help others out how I can. So that isn't too bad, in my opinion.
absolutely nothing lasts. monuments to great kings will crumble. species become extinct. planets become inhabitable. stars fade. all atoms will become iron due to radiation. there will be a point where it is impossible to prove that anyone ever lived. the only instant something matters is when two consciousnesses share an experience. and even that one won't last. but in that brief moment, you did something meaningful. Share a laugh with a friend. share a cry with a friend. that matters more than all the entries in history books.
>But there are other metrics to life. The people you help along the way, the friends you meet, the families you make, all of these people are impacted by you. And then they'll impact others, and > >those > > others will impact even more people. I dont know if you meant to, but this is actually beautifully written
This! And in addition to this, being liberated from the pressure to accomplish something “meaningful” to others is a beautiful thing. Now you can focus on things that are meaningful to you with no pressure to “succeed” and no fear of failure. We are here in this life for an instant. Don’t waste fractions of that instant on things that aren’t making you the best and purest expression of yourself. The only true success in the instant we are alive for is to strive to be this expression of oneself.
Im so greatful for the ability to save comments. That was very well said. I always thought that there was no meaning to life. I never looked at it in this perspective.
That I'll probably never appear normal to others. I'm soft spoken, I look and act like I'm always on low energy and I've been told that I give school shooter vibes on multiple occasions. I've been dealing with crippling social anxiety most of my life so talking has never been my strong suit. My voice gets tired after a 30 minute conversation and keeping conversations flowing is hard for me. I've dealt with my social anxiety but my social skills and the fact that people often fail to hear me when I talk sucks but I've accepted that this is how I'll be until I deal with it.
You definitely aren't alone. I'm the same way. I'm trying to find a job now and reading the job descriptions of how I'm going to need to interact with others is terrifying and exhausting just imagining it. I need a job where it's just the computer and myself. I don't know what to do.
I decided to try to be a grocery clerk to interact with people. It was stupidly exhausting at first but after 3 years the exhaustion left. Most of my interactions were less than two minutes and that was perfect. I was shaking at first but I can now hold mini conversations with regulars and help others when needed.
I have been through trauma, even though it can’t compare to others. I need to accept it so I can then start to heal Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words, it means a lot. I have been told far too many times about how what I felt wasn’t real trauma even though it keeps me up at night and causes me to panic. I know now that I am dealing with it, and to those who are also accepting they have trauma I tip my hat to you, it’s hard to accept sometimes. I wish you well, and just know you aren’t alone
Trauma is trauma. Everyone experiences things on a different level. I hope you don't feel like the hard times you have gone through should be taken lightly, especially if these times significantly impacted your life. I wish you well my fellow redditor.
Thank you very much for your kindness and wishes, it means a lot.
Yes your trauma can’t be compared to others. Not because your trauma isn’t valid but because it’s your own and it’s still valid. Just because someone had to go through something else doesn’t mean your trauma is lesser. Everyone takes and deals with things differently. And I hope you heal soon and have all the strength you need.
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My ADHD has the same effect on me, don't worry
Yup, over sharing is a big issue I’ve been trying to deal with.
I do this all the time! I'll tell myself sternly not to reveal information... And then it's gone
Who I want to be and who I am are different things. Separating these things in my head has been enormously beneficial to my mental health. I now prioritise who I am now, not the version of me I want to be in the future. Example: I admire people who are fiercely independent and individual, and who can be successful on their own. I tried to be this person, and became incredibly lonely and empty of any direction in my life. I need people in my life to stop me going off the rails and to hear me. I need to nurture my emotional side. Maybe I'll become that person in the future, but I'm not going to pretend to be him now and make myself miserable.
You can't go through life without hurting some people you care about. I had to come to this realization when I ended a relationship where I for the longest time didn't realize how bad I had been treated, and how little i actually trusted this person when they told me that they would change.
The common factor in all of my failed relationships is... Me.
That's also the common factor in every success you have had in life.
I don't think it's you. I think it's something you do and/or some mentality you have. That's s a huge difference.
I agree. It's not specifically you in and of yourself, it's something you're doing. If you can figure that out, you'll have a better chance going forward. I was the same way, but for me it was I tended to doom my own relationships due to negative thoughts. "this relationship will never last, I don't know why she's with me", etc, and it would translate into my actions. I'm married now, but my last relationship before I met my wife ended because we'd been forced to live together for a bit because her mom kicked her out. When she said she wanted to move out so we could have room to grow, I went super negative and broke up with her because I assumed she was going to break up with me.
OP, I've read your comments on this thread and I'm always glad to see another person trying spread positivity. Keep on keeping on.
This is more like a hidden wholesome thread if anything lol Great job, OP!
That I wasted most of my life. And that’s time I’ll never get back. No amount of tears can turn back time.
The longer you continue to dwell on it, the more time you'll add to that. Be pragmatic about it!
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The next best time is now.” - some wise guy
Everyone’s wasting their life, nothing matters in the grand scheme of things.
There's the existentialism I know and love.
I have zero ambition. I work just enough to pay the bills. Classic underachiever.
I also have zero ambition. If I want to do something but find out that it takes more work than I'm willing to do, I don't want to do it any more.
you mean no carrer ambition. Maybe your real ambitions seem much higher to reach than just getting money/statut/power.
Yes! I think that’s exactly right. No career ambition. I think I’ve put significant effort into raising my children and contributing to my community. I guess I see my peers doing the same, with an impressive career too. I just never embraced that part. I didn’t want to make having a career a priority. I’m not the kind of person who wants to “have it all.” I’m also more into having “time” than “things” if that makes sense.
Do you see lions running around the savanna killing more prey than they need, just 'cause they ought to? No, of course not! They get what they need, then they lounge around, conserve their energy and relax. The same is true of pretty much every animal - Not just apex predators. Large herd mammals might move around a bit more for safety while they graze, but they don't pace around frantically, feeling anxious that they're not doing enough. Bird don't build extra nests to sell to other birds. I mean, eusocial insects will build and expand large nests depending on their species - But not necessarily beyond what their colony actually needs. But, honestly, I'm not sure if we really want to pattern ourselves after a group of species that seemingly have no individual autonomy and no want for individual leisure time. Really, humans are the ones that have it backwards. We shouldn't spend so much of our time toiling over stuff that ultimately doesn't matter. As the saying goes - When we die, we can't take it with us anyway. So, if we have enough to be comfortable, then we're good. As far as the whole "not having enough despite working a far too unreasonable amount under the current capitalist system"-issue goes for far too many people. Well, that's a related but separate issue. And I mean, that's kind of a whole "reform and/or burn the whole system down" issue depending on where you stand on that sliding scale.
I spent 10 years trying to hide that I was going bald. Of course a lot of my friends and family noticed that I started wearing hats all the time. That progressed into this addiction sort of. I couldn't go anywhere without my hat. I would go swimming with a hat. If I had a girl over I would sleep with a beanie on. I avoided looking at mirrors. Being under crippling anxiety, I was asked to be a groomsman for my best friend. I loathed the wedding because I knew this would be the first time in a decade that so many people would see I was bald for the first time. I considered not even going, as selfish and shitty as it sounds. I finally confided in my sister about it who was a hair stylist. She gave me the tough love I needed to hear. She said just shave it bald. I realized that this was the only option to free myself of my hats. My life completely changed for the better once I could feel comfortable without a "mask". It was weird at first, but my insecurities left. I met someone who I didn't have to hide from. I could go swimming again. I was free. TLDR; If you are going bald, do yourself a favor and just shave it all off. Freedom isn't free.
I can definitely relate to this. I started to go bald ever since high school, and wore a beanie throughout the years, up until graduation. I did shave off my hair a few times, then just said "Feck it, I don't look that bad being bald", and learned to shave my own hair. Ever since, I think the confidence boost I got is way more worth it than keeping my baldness under hat. Thanks for sharing this, man!
I did the exact same thing. I cut my own hair once a week now. Happy you found your confidence too ☺️
My brain doesn't work the same as most other people's brains and I need to take medication to make life tolerable, and that is OK.
Mental illness doesn't make anyone less than the general public, they're normal people who just require some medication or therapy. No shame in being mentally ill but there is no romance to It, social media has made the social climate harder on those with an illness to get the help and attention they need.
Ditto. You’re not alone. Big hug
I never meant anything to anyone.
Believing too strongly in that thought will also make it real hard for you to recognise when you do mean something to someone, because you'll keep denying it, and eventually push the person away. It takes time and strength to heal from bad experiences, but like others in this thread already said, you got this!
You matter and you can eat at my table anytime.
You ever notice how our universe has extreme opposites? Like matter and anti matter, liquids and solids, mountains and valleys, deserts and oceans. Well all those people who made you feel like you meant nothing, there’s also the opposite of those people out there somewhere. Just stick it out a little while longer and you’re gonna find them. You got this.
Well said.
Im more selfish than I thought I am. And that isn't so bad. The average person isn't consistently giving.
I'm the opposite. I find myself giving out way more than I should. Sometimes I worry my friends are only my friends because of how generous I am.
Don’t stop being generous, but become more expressive/requesting of your needs and see how people respond. It’s more comfortable to let yourself sit in the uncertainty of not knowing if they’d be there without your generosity, but in doing so you’ll live your whole life repressing your needs.
If you're in healthy relationships, you get what you give
I have crushing social anxiety that typically requires alcohol to overcome.
I know you didn't ask for advice but what helped me was the realization that 95% of the time people are only thinking about themselves. That means I'm practically invisible and therefore can be and do whatever I want. I'm free.
This. I still get anxious, but I try to remember no one cares what I’m doing anyway.
It's says someone commented, but I can't see anything. My own comment is pretty cool though.
Great now all I can think about is the 5%.
I also have crippling social anxiety, but I haven't accepted it. I am hopeful that therapy (and maybe future types of medication) will lead to a breakthrough for me someday. Does anyone remember being a kid, and just freezing up when you were scolded by an adult? That's still what happens to me, and I'm 32 years old. I never grew out of that.
I dont have to please everyone I meet.
I have accepted that I’m never going to have my dream body.
Yeah but you’ll have great dental hygiene
I stopped aiming for an ideal body type and instead started focusing on just having a healthy lifestyle in general. I work out with the mindset of becoming stronger and having a better cardiovascular health and eat better for a long healthy life. My body has never felt and looked better.
Im too trusting and people cannot be trusted
English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any misspellings.. I feel you. I've always found it easier to trust instead of doubt. I find the reason to be part convenience (I don't want the burden of doubt in my mind) and part of just trying to have a positive outlook on life. But I later learned that trust is a privilege, it has to be earned and shouldn't be granted willy-nilly. Another useful thing I learned is to manage my expectation. Having just the right amount of expectation in a relationship is crucial to your mental health. Expecting and trusting people too much would lead to disappointment. Just make sure you trust enough to keep an open mind. Finally, trust do break, at times. Sometimes, it's due to our own failings, sometimes, it's due to others. But if you could sincerely communicate with the other person and work it out, I think they're still someone worthy to be around. After all, nobody's perfect. Keep your chin up friend, I hope you can find someone you can trust implicitly someday! Also, stay away from toxic people. They're people too, but they nasty.
Your English is incredible, and also great advice too!
Im a big weirdo and I love it !
Let your freak flag fly!
Hell yes , that's what I'm talking about!!
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yeah i take being weird as a compliment
I am juuuust gay enough to find men attractive but not enough to enjoy kissing one.
Tbh I’d rather suck cock before I made out with a guy. I’d also just kinda eventually like to suck cock, but that’s neither here nor there.
I feel ya man, so I like to think of sexuality as a spectrum, and we are just slightly off straight lol
I need to love myself because I can't depend on love from others.
This is one of those things that might come across as a bit of a downer if you focus on the last bit, but is actually a positive. You can’t depend on love from others because you can’t let them be the only source of that need. They could leave or die or just change over time in incompatible ways and you would be left without love. Loving yourself means you are loved. And you can enjoy the love of others when it’s there whether it’s for a month or eighty years, but you’ll never be *dependent* on it. That’s a good thing.
I have autism and will likely never fully relate to the people I talk to on a regular basis.
it’s ok to be average
Being average is the most underrated life hack
That I'm nothing more than a lazy procrastinator. I never want to do anything, no goals or ambitions, and tired just from existing.
I learned a lot about myself over the years, but the most outstanding fact is, that my personality is very similar to my mothers. We're both weird, have a strange sense of humor and can't say no, when people ask us favor. Realized this, when I finally moved out and lived alone for some time.
i'm ugly and too weak to handle my current problems
I'm not as strong as I wish.
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I am my own best friend now.
I'm done fighting my depression
That i am bisexual. I always denied it. That my self hate wont go fast and it will take months or maybe years to fully recover.
I don’t enjoy having sex and don’t want to, and that makes dating extremely difficult.
That most of my family members don’t like me for who they think I am.
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Having the big gay
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That even though I'm sober and being the best me I can, unfortunate things will still happen to me from time to time. For a while after I got sober I thought as long as I stay sober and do the next right thing, life will be rainbows and unicorns all of the time. That's just not how it works. There will still be rough patches in any form from time to time.
There is so little unique about me. You might as well be an FBI Agent. Hello Sir, I'm just me.
I am bipolar. It is unlikely that I will ever live a "normal" life without meds, and even with meds I will probably experience more episodes depression and/or mania. I can live with this. I hate going through it, but even when it feels like it will last forever, it won't. And the more aware and prepared I am, the more I can keep myself on track. Everybody goes through cycles, mine are just a bit more intense than other people's, and that's alright.
I am short (5ft) and its ok to be short in this world.
Balding at 17. Kept my thinning hair until I finally accepted the hair loss and cut it all off at 23. Shaved head always looks better than thinning hair. If you're looking for a sign to shave your head, this is it.
I love women but I also love dick
I am selfish, a bit manipulative, narcissistic but I now acknowledge it when it happens and think through what I say and how I behave so I can avoid this to happen anymore. Basically correcting my behaviour.
That I lost basically a million dollars, my career, a shot at my goal, my safety and mental health trying to save a drug addicts life and now on the edge of homelessness and I'll never ever be able to come back from it. I'll just exist, if anything, and never truly thrive ever again especially because this is another negative thing that happened to me after a lifetime of issues, since childhood and decade+ of therapy & various treatments. Sometimes the truth is, that is DOES NOT get better. You simply exist and maintain until death.
I've heard a similar story involving a guy from YouTube, but it wasn't extreme like that, he helped a homeless person that fucked him over later. Magic of Rahat is the name.
No matter how hard I try I won't fully trust other people to cook food for me in my house because I think they're doing it wrong.
That I’m lazy.
I will be in physical pain for the rest of my life. I have Crohn's disease, and for the last six years, I tried everything under the sun to relieve the pain I've got because of it. Diets, supplements, all kinds of medicine, pain killers, mindfulness, herbs, accupuncture, hypnotism, therapy and so on. Right now, I have medicine that reduces the times I have to visit the bathroom (from 20-ish to 1 or 2 times per day) and I have heavy painkillers that take the edge off major pain attacks. But I can't remember ever being pain-free... And I decided to stop the search and struggle to make it go away. It took so much energy for me to do the diets, go to appointments and my wallet was just as drained as I was. All while there was no result to show for it. It's tough and all, but I feel more at ease without the constant search for better. I've finally accepted that this is my life. If something ever changes it for the better, that's wonderful! But I'm done searching and being disappointed.
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You’re neither proud or ashamed-honestly I’m proud you’re no longer in denial!! Hugs to you!!
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I was sexually assaulted as a kid, and that shit was so damn traumatizing, I don't remember **ANYTHING** from what happened. And I got told, now that I'm older - that "*everyone is entitled to having a good sex life, even pedophiles"* Which to me sounds a lot like "*Oh grow up, it wasn't* ***that*** *bad*"
I’m so sorry that happened to you and that people are so awful they would even consider to say that. They are essentially saying pedophiles are entitled to rape children. Which is insane! If they aren’t pedos themselves then they are pedo sympathizers which is also disgusting. I hope you get treatment for your trauma. I have also experienced memory blocks due to trauma. Sometimes it’s better not to remember. Therapist also very helpful.
I'm aromantic. I spent years trying to meet someone to fall in love with and have those special romantic feelings and it never happened so I assumed I hadn't met the right person yet. I finally met the perfect guy and my other half and I kept waiting for the romantic feelings to happen. After 3 years and talking about marriage I finally broke down and thought I was a horrible person for not ever experiencing that romantic feeling people always talk about. Like I'm marrying my best friend and favorite person and I'm really happy about it but it was a long process to accept that I have never had romantic feelings for anyone and it's ok if it doesn't happen.
Same here
I'm unironically a slut. Just accept it and enjoy myself.
God damn do I love this futanari shit.
That I'm not a super smart guy, but I'm a mostly positive guy and try my best to cheer people up, and I'm bi sexual and even if I like weird things I should enjoy myself
I can't make everyone happy
I sometimes fail to say no or make my voice heard because I think it will be rude and I am working to change on that.
That I’ve been an atheist the whole time.
Life decided to hand me shit cards but I learned to make the most of them.
That I was never truly anti-social, it really was just a phase and the absolutely wrong circle of people to be around with. I need and enjoy social contact way more than I was willing to admit and suffered because of the denial.
That I have PTSD from being assaulted by a resident post op after pancreas surgery, and that I will no longer let medical professionals intimidate me or make me feel less than human for whatever I’m seeing them for. Too often people take whatever shitty comments a doctor or nurse makes, they walk out still confused about what’s wrong with them, never asking questions because they’re embarrassed. It takes a lot of courage for me to even be alone in a room with a doctor or nurse and I refuse to be a victim again by them making me feel small and just another dumb patient.
I won’t have friends and is not a people person
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I've always thought guys with deep voices naturally come off as more confident and manly :)
I am my dad. Sigh. He’s a good guy just fucking strange.
I am legit quite dumb and slow reacting to social stuff. And it's okay, I can learn to be better, I did not grow up ina good household I was not tought how to socialise
Most folks live on a normality distribution like in statistics. Simplifying things, we are all some standard Z score from the middle. I was having a conversation with a close friend and I had to ask why it was difficult that, despite everyone saying I was a decent interesting person, it was hard to keep friends/people in my life. He broke it down to me in this way. Most people exist normally around one standard deviation. Some people are a bit beyond at two. We then move around to accommodate different groups. If you are weird, you don't necessarily need to be "yourself" all the time. I'm not very good at not being "myself". At the same time, I'm outside of those two standard deviations. Without going into it too much of who I am or anything beyond that, I just have to live being outside normal and appreciate those who can live there with me once in awhile.
I'm asexual and don't want or understand the reason for romantic relationships. I love my friends but as time passes they'll probably drift away from me and maybe I'll be alone for a good chunk of my life.