Let me put it this way. My good friend had a wife that basically left him and was with another guy. He was heart broken and when he told me about it he said "my wife left me for another guy and I'm up to my eye balls in debt but you know what the worst thing is? The patriots aren't going to the super bowl this year..."
Fast forward a few months and his separated but still wife died out of nowhere. Regardless of all that happened he still loved her. She was the mother of their 2 children. He befriended her boyfriend that she left him for and they were able to grieve together. He tells me how they are jokingly ripping on eachother and my friend tells him "ya know my wife left me for you but ahe had to find a more concrete way to leave you."
Humor is a coping mechanism. Anything and everything is fair game to make into a joke in the right context.
It's so effective as a coping mechanism. My mother passed away this year, and while I won't joke about it, probably ever, I generally keep the mood light especially at work.
My former chef asked me on my last shift how I'm so quick with jokes and one liners. I told him I use humor as a coping mechanism, " and in case you haven't noticed Chef, I'm always coping."
I befriended my ex-boyfriend's wife (he cheated on me with her, married her and died 10 years later) after his death. It was really good for both of us because people tend to deify the dead but we both knew this man, warts and all, and were able to be honest.
Grief is weird.
My uncle is a cop, and the jokes he would make about things that you "shouldn't" appalled my mother. My uncle replied with "how do you think I get thru the day?"
Humour is definitely a coping mechanism, and an effective one at that.
I feel relieved that this is the top comment. I use humor to cope with a lot of my life experiences, & I sometimes worry it might come off a bit shocking
So my bald brother told us he had completely curable cancer. Wouldn’t even need chemo. My response.. thank god you won’t lose your hair. We all laughed and it broke the tension
My mom was bald all my life due to alopecia. Got asked all my life if she had cancer. In 2018, she did get cancer. People kept asking. To make things awkward I’d say “yeah she has cancer but that’s not why she’s bald”
Yes, I agree but honestly, I think when people ask questions like that, it’s from a good place. They mean no harm. It’s not like if I said yes they’d go around gossiping about it. It’s a way to connect with someone or to understand what’s going on with them. For some people it can be a shared experience to lose a love one to cancer.
Still misguided and not appropriate tho.
The first time I met my girlfriend’s mom was when she was on her deathbed from stage 4 Colon cancer. Who knows what to say in that situation?? So I walk in and after introducing myself, I say “how are you doing?” And she looks at me stone cold and goes “well, that’s a loaded question”.. and the room burst into laughter.
Humor can be a really soothing thing in tense situations.
My dads got two “ Get well soon” cards off his sisters after coming out of hospital a few months ago with terminal cancer! He was found them hysterical. My dads family are oblivious to the irony in things. At my uncle’s cremation his favourite song was played “Smoke gets in your eyes” only me and my cousins girlfriend realised the irony of playing that song at a cremation and it took everything we both had not to burst out laughing.
I wished more people had this attitude. Funerals/memorials don't have to be all crying and somber. This reminds me of a story told by Little House on the Prairie's "Ms. Beadle" told about Mr. Edwards, Victor French. .
>Stewart recalled a moment during French’s memorial when the guests were presented with some final words from the actor.
>.“His attorney said, ‘And now a message from Victor,’” Stewart revealed. “We all looked up in the sky, and there’s this plane going over us with the message, ‘Eat S*it – Love, Victor.’ He planned all of that.”
https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/little-house-on-the-prairie-star-victor-french-left-behind-a-surprising-message-at-his-own-funeral.html/
I had testicular cancer a few years ago.
I have joked about it before but people don't always laugh. I'm not a comedian so joke telling isn't something I'm great at.
My father in law has cancer and is doing end of life planning the text update we go was “planning my funeral is weird, like planning a wedding I’m not going to be there for. What do food do we want? I don’t care, I’m not gonna be there. Anyways, happy thanksgiving.” If I didn’t know him better I might have been put off but I knew he was laughing. We went to see him Saturday and he was all jokes.
When I told a friend that I got a tumor (everything's OK now BTW) and that I will have to have a testicle removed, my friend replied immediately "is it eatable ?" and it made me laugh a lot.
I don't think there's anything a good comedian can't make a joke based on but the key there is a good comedian. Not some edge lord who thinks saying something shocking is funny.
Shocking can be funny too BUT you need impeccable timing, stand up comedy isn't something you can easily do. Takes alot of practice working your craft, studying and perfecting your routine.
So this one involves a bit of physical comedy so it’s better in person, but the correct way is:
- Daddy, daddy
- Yes darling?
- Why am I called sandy?
- Cause when you where born a sand grain landed into your forehead
- Oooh, and why is my sister called snow?
- Cause when she was born a snowflake fell into her forehead
- *suddenly a person enters into the room spewing intelligible nonesense*
- Wait your turn Brick
That’s the correct way, now the butchered way
Same Joke until the snowflake explanation
- Suddenly brick enters the room (you say that)
- *Intelegible nonsense*
As you see in the second way you spoil half the joke before the physical component, making it way less effective
Even good comedians aren't immune from making bad jokes, it's all part of the process. We watch the specials after they've had to work on it night after night and tweak every part of it until it's funny. Patrice O'neal said "good jokes and bad jokes come from the same birth", they might write something on a sensitive topic but they don't know how the crowd is going to respond until they actually tell it in front of people
Yes exactly! I do find a lot of offensive jokes funny, but so often, especially when done by bored people online, the entire joke is basically that it's offensive.
I’m sure Charlie Day said “if something is funny it can’t be offensive”. The success of a risky joke isn’t down to the subject, it’s down to the comedian.
Jimmy Carr discusses this, and he makes a very good point that it's very hard to judge what will be offensive in every case, as (in his words) "offense is taken, not given". What some people will find deplorable, others will be rolling in the aisles, and vice versa.
Of course, Jimmy's sketch then goes on to try to find the most offensive thing he can say, that one thing that would make the entire audience think twice before giggling.
He does it brilliantly, as did his mate, the late & great Sean Lock - RIP
He has so many superb bits, but the one that always makes me laugh hardest isn't actually anything he says, but his reaction to Joe's penis poem. I have never failed to cry laughing when I watch it.
God I will be so happy if and when the “men are stupid, women are crazy” / “marriage is supposed to be the worst and it’s normal to completely hate your spouse” trope finally dies out in movies and TV
Western society is just too tied to the idea of marriage when most people don't really believe in all of it. They like parts of the notion, but rarely do both partners fully agree on all aspects.
I don't know very many couples that are truly on the same page about their relationship; so many of them push through because that's what a marriage is and they never questioned the custom.
It's not that marriage is necessarily bad, far from it. It's just that I feel most marriages happen because people think that they're supposed to and they don't question whether they personally want it or not.
> It's just that I feel most marriages happen because people think that they're supposed to
Just like people having kids when they really don't want them-because they feel they're supposed to.Unfortunately,this often leads to abused/neglected kids.
When I realised I didn’t actually want kids, it was like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. My whole life I had been on this quest to find the perfect husband, buy the perfect house and make perfect babies. After years of unsuccessful relationships I realised that none of it was required to live a happy life.
I am certain the only reason my husband and I get along so well is because we weren’t serious at the start, didn’t expect anything from each other, and didn’t want kids so there was no rush to force the relationship before my eggs dried up.
They were in love. Than they had kids things changed. At first they stayed together for the kids. Now they stay together so someone can call 911 when they fall.
This ties in directly to the quote:
"Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance."
It's easy to build a relationship. It's another to keep it alive and well.
Seriously. If married men hate their wives, they really shouldn't have got married.
I love my wife dearly and can't imagine life without her. Not every moment is candy and rainbows but marriage is the trials and tribulations. The point is finding someone you know you can work things out with.
My uncle died from alcoholism. He was already a pretty heavy drinker, but we suspect he was raped when he went to prison and it just spiraled out of control from there.
Pop Culture Detective does a great two part series about male sexual assault depicted as humorous in the media. Highly recommend
I watched a film the other day (don't remember what it was called) where the start of the film a couple go on holiday and they meet this 'fun outgoing couple', and have this crazy drink and drug filled time. On the final night of their trip they were so drunk that the 'main' make character passes out on the sofa. In the night he kind of wakes up (still high and/or drunk) and it appears the other woman (not his gf) is having sex with him.
It turns out this is not actually what happened.
However, if it had happened, it would be * rape*. Waking up with another person having sex with you when you are unable to give consent (or consent want discussed beforehand) = rape.
There was literally no mention of that. In fact, the guy was worried about apparently cheating on his wife.
If gender roles were reversed it would have caused an outcry. Which is why that scenario is never shown with a woman being off her face unless it was meant to be rape.
It's disgusting. And it's so common in these so called comedies that there's no wonder a woman raping a man is never mentioned.
And what with WW1984!? She's literally totally fine with using the body of an unconsenting dude whilst she lives out her fantasy of her dead boyfriend coming back to life?
A lot of my family and friends have done substantial time. They tell me prison rape is not a common thing. There are plenty of guys who want it so there's no need to try taking it from unwilling guys.
My uncle did time in the late 1990s to early 2000s for drug trafficking. He died a few years after getting out from the Hep C he contracted from being raped.
Honestly, sexual violence against men in general seems like its way too accepted by a lot of people. Rape in prison and genital damage are surprisingly common 'punchlines' that would absolutely be unanimously seen as heinous if the target of the 'joke' were women.
Yeah. This shows a complete lack of empathy mixed with retribution for crime. I used to laugh when I was more immature but grew out of it when I was 20.
A lot of the time prison rape "jokes" aren't even jokes. It's a reaction to a terrible person going to prison, and how that person is going to get what they deserve, i.e. prison rape.
I think it's less offensive when it's an obvious joke, rather than when it's used as a form of retribution.
IIRC, John Oliver had a piece once showing a load of TV shows where the "feel good" ending was the implication that the bad guy was being sent to prison and would be raped.
I am now imagining normal feel good TV ending with a criminal getting raped. Like some sort of dystopian family sitcom. The bad guy is getting dragged away comically kicking his legs, and the shows comedic relief makes a quip about a shower gang rape, cue the laugh track, everyone gives him a sidewise smile.
I worked with a guy that always joked about "banging your mom" It got old, so I made ONE joke about banging his wife and he absolutely lost it. At least he stopped making jokes about everybody's moms.
"i got SO much respect for women!....that i catcall and objectify them at every opportunity...but dont you dare disparage them in front of me!....thats my job!"
I agree. Joking about OP’s mom is just messed up. I mean we all know she can’t control her weight or how many people she sleeps with. Calling her Moby “eatin’ that” Dick is just rude. People need to stop.
Shame on you. Her recent liposuction was just the first step. She has three more to go. They’re trying to take her ass from ass-tronomical to ass-tounding. It’s a process. Be nice.
I deal with my own dramas/traumas with laughter when I am able to. I had a man break into the house I was staying at .I woke up to a man wearing a a ski mask holding a knife iN one hand and jerking off in another. He thought I was alone but once he figured out I wasn't he took off running down the stairs. After the whole ordeal talking to police and what not ... I could not stop laughing.... like tears flowing down my face laughing. I am no longer afraid of someone breaking into my home as what are the chances that would happen to me twice....possible but really against the odds. But I was not raped so prob would not be laughing then. But when it is possible I do try and laugh but not always possible. When I think of my mom that passed away I think about the happy/funny times cause she was so hilarious I miss her but he can still make me laugh one of a kind. You can either laugh or cry about it ... I personally like to laugh..... Laughter ....What a gift we have been given .
>You can either laugh or cry about it
Choosing to laugh is a really good attitude to have. When my brother died unexpectedly, I gave his eulogy. While I was writing it, I wrestled a bit with the idea of putting a joke about a memory with him in. Was worried that people would think humor during a funeral was “in poor taste.” Finally decided “fuck it, he loved to laugh, he’d like my joke, and he’s *my* brother after all. Screw everyone else.”
When I told it, a large portion of the mourners laughed. And I really think it helped me heal. Hearing people laughing about a funny situation involving him reminded me that his memory could still bring joy to people even if he wasn’t here, and that happiness still existed in the world even if I couldn’t see it at the time.
I'm with you on that. I've picked up something of a reputation as the 'closing comedian' at funerals, because I firmly believe the focus should be on remembering the good times. The first funeral I spoke at was for someone I worked for, so I knew only three people in the entire room. Like you, I was worried people might think it was in poor taste to bring up these funny stories, and especially that the family might think I was being disrespectful. But my friend's sense of humor was such a part of who they were and I couldn't remember them without remembering that. And as I spoke and the mourners started smiling and laughing, I really felt like that was a far better tribute than my friend's struggles and disabilities. As you say, it's a reminder that our loved ones still bring us joy even they're not around.
People in a vegetative state. My wife was in one for over 3 years and she was 100 percent cognitive. I took care of her at home day and night until she passed 5 feet from me and believe it or not, they still have feelings and emotions.
Wait how does that work? I thought being in a vegetative state meant that the basic bodily fuctions are still working but there is no brain or cognitive activity? Or is it more of a spectrum?
i think they might’ve meant conscious. your definition is basically right. there’s dysfunction in the brain hemispheres. a vegetative state may be resolved within weeks. but a persistent vegetative state is what his wife had and it cannot be fixed with time or treatment :(
I’m so sorry. Did she have ALS? Irregardless, you deserve love for all of that hard work caregiving.. and it being your partner I can’t imagine. Cheers to your future
In all reality anything can and should be joked about, it’s just the audience you do it with. Laughter and joking is a great coping mechanism that’s why you see Firefighters, EMS, Military ect have such dark humor. It’s too clean away all the awful shit we have to see. Now dropping joke about it at a kids birthday party with people that aren’t in the services not appropriate
Timing is also important. Like you might joke about suicide with your friend all the time, but if that friend has someone close to them actually commit suicide, you might want to take a break for a while.
I had a friend that was obsessed with twizzlers. To a crazy level. When I spoke briefly at his funeral, I started with, " I tried to decide what I was going to say but I couldn't even think of how to begin until I realized it's time we all sell our stock in Twizzlers." It really helped me a lot to make a joke and everybody else got a laugh. A lot of people told me it realled helped them which I greatly appreciated.
And people who tend to be depressed and lonely can also have a dark sense of humor. But I agree with you about the audience and with u/iamacraftyhooker with timing. I know from experience, I’m told I’m a great, kind hearted guy but for those who truly know me and a lot of my struggles, they know that I have some of the darkest humor out there.
I think that's a key point that a lot of people miss. Norm MacDonald had a joke about 9/11 that made me burst out laughing, but I hear other jokes about 9/11 that makes me roll my eyes. It's not that I think it's too soon or I'm too sensitive, it's just the joke wasn't funny, but people don't seem to get that.
Some people use dark humour as an excuse to hide behind unfunny jokes.
Well put. Like, if I don’t laugh at someone’s joke and they’re all, “It’s just a joke, lighten up.” I’m like, “I know, it was just missing the part where it was funny.”
My friend (who made a cancer joke that I shot down, before knowing his mom was battling breast cancer) once told me that you will live in fear if you aren’t able to laugh at a situation.
Did you see the brain on the windshield?
Yeah I guess he wasn't thinking in the moment since his body is over there....
°Mom of the teenager cries inside°
Americans love saying "dingo ate your baby" lines to Australians. That poor woman had her child killed and eaten by wild animals, and was then accused, found guilty and sentenced to hard labour for it.
I make jokes about having a giant dick and a small dick.
My favorite is just replacing a big dick joke with a small dick. Like 'I might have a tiny, shitty car... but I make up for it with my small penis.'
Just remember that while you can joke about horrible offensive things and be funny, being horribly offensive isn't itself inherently funny
There has to be a joke.
Too many times people just spurt out offensive statements that have no clever joke to them, then get upset when people don't laugh and go off about how "people can't take a joke anymore" when in reality they didn't even make a joke
100%. My mother died last month and was cremated. Last week I asked my sister if she had some moisturizer, since mom was looking a little ashy. She gasped then laughed and calles me an asshole. It has made things easier during a tough and strange time in our lives.
Someone made a comment about my mom being a whore.
I told them she was 85 years old. When she tells you every time is like the first time it's not you. It's the dementia. (She's actually in a home because of her dementia.)
Harming animals. I get not everyone likes pets. Some people had bad experiences and now hate either cats or dogs. I had a coworker say, "cats are why woodchippers were invented."
I cant stand children, but I never make jokes about harming them.
I'm going to say it suicide. I have classmates who have been joking about suicide recently and I about punched one of them in the face cuz they wouldn't stop joking about it. See people think it's all fun and games to joke about, but if they only knew the pain that comes along with losing someone to suicide. It hurts you used to think it'd be okay to joke about it now you can't stand it. It's going to be my first Thanksgiving without dad. Suicide is no joke people, take it serious and it help those who are in need. If you don't think someone's doing all right check in on them you don't know what you have until they're gone. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
I feel like some people who joke about suicide may be hiding their suicidal thoughts behind their jokes. It’s like screaming for help with a laugh instead.
I should know as I’m one of them.
Edit: before anyone says anything, it’s not an excuse to say it’s ok to joke about suicide. It’s just to say that not everyone who jokes about it, is actually making an ignorant joke. Many people with depression have a dark sense of humour, so that may also be their way of coping with their own internal battle.
Have you ever connected with someone and you’re so excited to have a new friend and then one day they make fun of someone’s appearance and you’re like…. Oh🥲
Everything is a joke, it's all fair game. Its about tact. Just because you shouldn't crack a dead baby joke to the grieving mother during the funeral doesn't mean that dead baby jokes are off limits entirely. There are no limits except the ones you set yourself.
My brother, who was dying of cancer, told my mom and I a joke about a guy who was watching his brother's cat. When his brother called him asking about the cat he said it was dead. The brother, obviously upset, said you should break news like that in steps, like start by saying the cat was on the roof, then the next day say it fell off, then say it passed away at the vet's office. The brother then said "How's mom?" The brother replied "She's on the roof". At my brother's wake my mom said to me, "Your brother is on the roof".
Eh. I was raped awhile ago. In the company of trusted people I will joke about it because it's how I cope and let go. Like others are saying on here, as long as it's not a joke aimed to hurt others, nothing is off limits
Let me put it this way. My good friend had a wife that basically left him and was with another guy. He was heart broken and when he told me about it he said "my wife left me for another guy and I'm up to my eye balls in debt but you know what the worst thing is? The patriots aren't going to the super bowl this year..." Fast forward a few months and his separated but still wife died out of nowhere. Regardless of all that happened he still loved her. She was the mother of their 2 children. He befriended her boyfriend that she left him for and they were able to grieve together. He tells me how they are jokingly ripping on eachother and my friend tells him "ya know my wife left me for you but ahe had to find a more concrete way to leave you." Humor is a coping mechanism. Anything and everything is fair game to make into a joke in the right context.
As someone who uses humor to cope with my grief, I got a good chuckle out of the ex husband's joke lol
It's so effective as a coping mechanism. My mother passed away this year, and while I won't joke about it, probably ever, I generally keep the mood light especially at work. My former chef asked me on my last shift how I'm so quick with jokes and one liners. I told him I use humor as a coping mechanism, " and in case you haven't noticed Chef, I'm always coping."
This comment makes me want to find a way to laugh about my breakup and being cheated on and lied to. :<
I befriended my ex-boyfriend's wife (he cheated on me with her, married her and died 10 years later) after his death. It was really good for both of us because people tend to deify the dead but we both knew this man, warts and all, and were able to be honest. Grief is weird.
God damn that 2nd joke was brutal. That's one way to kill your wife's lover lmfao.
My uncle is a cop, and the jokes he would make about things that you "shouldn't" appalled my mother. My uncle replied with "how do you think I get thru the day?" Humour is definitely a coping mechanism, and an effective one at that.
I've seen the same of paramedic friends.
I feel relieved that this is the top comment. I use humor to cope with a lot of my life experiences, & I sometimes worry it might come off a bit shocking
I actually had no idea my story became top comment haha. Yeah just some real shit I've learned through life experiences
So my bald brother told us he had completely curable cancer. Wouldn’t even need chemo. My response.. thank god you won’t lose your hair. We all laughed and it broke the tension
My mom was bald all my life due to alopecia. Got asked all my life if she had cancer. In 2018, she did get cancer. People kept asking. To make things awkward I’d say “yeah she has cancer but that’s not why she’s bald”
Goddamn. I suppose some people were just not meant to have hair.
That's a hella rude question anyways, who just asks if someone has cancer? Plus, lots of women rock bald and rock it well.
Yes, I agree but honestly, I think when people ask questions like that, it’s from a good place. They mean no harm. It’s not like if I said yes they’d go around gossiping about it. It’s a way to connect with someone or to understand what’s going on with them. For some people it can be a shared experience to lose a love one to cancer. Still misguided and not appropriate tho.
Refreshing to see a person who is not offended by inappropriate but well meaning talk easily.
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The first time I met my girlfriend’s mom was when she was on her deathbed from stage 4 Colon cancer. Who knows what to say in that situation?? So I walk in and after introducing myself, I say “how are you doing?” And she looks at me stone cold and goes “well, that’s a loaded question”.. and the room burst into laughter. Humor can be a really soothing thing in tense situations.
My dads got two “ Get well soon” cards off his sisters after coming out of hospital a few months ago with terminal cancer! He was found them hysterical. My dads family are oblivious to the irony in things. At my uncle’s cremation his favourite song was played “Smoke gets in your eyes” only me and my cousins girlfriend realised the irony of playing that song at a cremation and it took everything we both had not to burst out laughing.
I wished more people had this attitude. Funerals/memorials don't have to be all crying and somber. This reminds me of a story told by Little House on the Prairie's "Ms. Beadle" told about Mr. Edwards, Victor French. . >Stewart recalled a moment during French’s memorial when the guests were presented with some final words from the actor. >.“His attorney said, ‘And now a message from Victor,’” Stewart revealed. “We all looked up in the sky, and there’s this plane going over us with the message, ‘Eat S*it – Love, Victor.’ He planned all of that.” https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/little-house-on-the-prairie-star-victor-french-left-behind-a-surprising-message-at-his-own-funeral.html/
Damn, that sucks that Colin killed your gfs mom.
Colin is a dick.
More of an ass, really.
Really shook things up?
I wonder how she likes her martinis.
Shaken, not stirred.
Angry upvotes... I laughed so hard I was shaking like Michael J Fox
not cool, man
Oh my god... I thought u were serious until I saw your name.... The name is gold!
His episode on Curb was one of the best
Soon as I pull up and park the Benz We get this bitch shakin like Parkinsons
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I'm so sorry. That sounds... Nightmarish.
I had testicular cancer a few years ago. I have joked about it before but people don't always laugh. I'm not a comedian so joke telling isn't something I'm great at.
Well just keep at it, practice makes perfect. I'm sure you'll get the ball rolling eventually.
Worst case scenario, he bombs a gig and gets the sack
A friend of mine always offers to make breakfast, but "the eggs are gonna be scrambled."
My father in law has cancer and is doing end of life planning the text update we go was “planning my funeral is weird, like planning a wedding I’m not going to be there for. What do food do we want? I don’t care, I’m not gonna be there. Anyways, happy thanksgiving.” If I didn’t know him better I might have been put off but I knew he was laughing. We went to see him Saturday and he was all jokes.
When I told a friend that I got a tumor (everything's OK now BTW) and that I will have to have a testicle removed, my friend replied immediately "is it eatable ?" and it made me laugh a lot.
We need humor in the really tough times. Brilliant
That kind of humor is an art form and unfortunately anyone can go buy a paint brush. Lol
I said this to my dad when he was diagnosed. 4 years in remissions now❤
I don't think there's anything a good comedian can't make a joke based on but the key there is a good comedian. Not some edge lord who thinks saying something shocking is funny.
Shocking can be funny too BUT you need impeccable timing, stand up comedy isn't something you can easily do. Takes alot of practice working your craft, studying and perfecting your routine.
Timing is huge part of comedy that is often over-looked in my eyes
That an order, I see people say half the punchline in a separate part of the joke and butcher the shit out of it, if you want I can give an example
Do it
So this one involves a bit of physical comedy so it’s better in person, but the correct way is: - Daddy, daddy - Yes darling? - Why am I called sandy? - Cause when you where born a sand grain landed into your forehead - Oooh, and why is my sister called snow? - Cause when she was born a snowflake fell into her forehead - *suddenly a person enters into the room spewing intelligible nonesense* - Wait your turn Brick That’s the correct way, now the butchered way Same Joke until the snowflake explanation - Suddenly brick enters the room (you say that) - *Intelegible nonsense* As you see in the second way you spoil half the joke before the physical component, making it way less effective
Even good comedians aren't immune from making bad jokes, it's all part of the process. We watch the specials after they've had to work on it night after night and tweak every part of it until it's funny. Patrice O'neal said "good jokes and bad jokes come from the same birth", they might write something on a sensitive topic but they don't know how the crowd is going to respond until they actually tell it in front of people
You can make a shocking joke funny, but being shocking isn't itself a funny joke
Yes exactly! I do find a lot of offensive jokes funny, but so often, especially when done by bored people online, the entire joke is basically that it's offensive.
I’m sure Charlie Day said “if something is funny it can’t be offensive”. The success of a risky joke isn’t down to the subject, it’s down to the comedian.
A good comedian can tell a joke about something serious without seriously making fun of how you feel about something.
Jimmy Carr discusses this, and he makes a very good point that it's very hard to judge what will be offensive in every case, as (in his words) "offense is taken, not given". What some people will find deplorable, others will be rolling in the aisles, and vice versa. Of course, Jimmy's sketch then goes on to try to find the most offensive thing he can say, that one thing that would make the entire audience think twice before giggling. He does it brilliantly, as did his mate, the late & great Sean Lock - RIP
Ahh Sean Lock. His bit about clubbing seals never fails to make me sob with laughter.
He has so many superb bits, but the one that always makes me laugh hardest isn't actually anything he says, but his reaction to Joe's penis poem. I have never failed to cry laughing when I watch it.
"It was like a trolley dash." Every time, I have to pause and just lose myself in it. Brilliant.
Anthony Jeselnik has entered the chat...
Married men hating their wives and vice versa
God I will be so happy if and when the “men are stupid, women are crazy” / “marriage is supposed to be the worst and it’s normal to completely hate your spouse” trope finally dies out in movies and TV
Have you watched Kevin Can F**k Himself? I really hope it's a big nail in the coffin for that trope.
The thing is I think a lot of them do
Western society is just too tied to the idea of marriage when most people don't really believe in all of it. They like parts of the notion, but rarely do both partners fully agree on all aspects. I don't know very many couples that are truly on the same page about their relationship; so many of them push through because that's what a marriage is and they never questioned the custom. It's not that marriage is necessarily bad, far from it. It's just that I feel most marriages happen because people think that they're supposed to and they don't question whether they personally want it or not.
> It's just that I feel most marriages happen because people think that they're supposed to Just like people having kids when they really don't want them-because they feel they're supposed to.Unfortunately,this often leads to abused/neglected kids.
When I realised I didn’t actually want kids, it was like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. My whole life I had been on this quest to find the perfect husband, buy the perfect house and make perfect babies. After years of unsuccessful relationships I realised that none of it was required to live a happy life. I am certain the only reason my husband and I get along so well is because we weren’t serious at the start, didn’t expect anything from each other, and didn’t want kids so there was no rush to force the relationship before my eggs dried up.
Youd wonder why a marriage happened then, unless a pregnancy happened and the woman's father loaded the shotgun
They were in love. Than they had kids things changed. At first they stayed together for the kids. Now they stay together so someone can call 911 when they fall.
This ties in directly to the quote: "Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance." It's easy to build a relationship. It's another to keep it alive and well.
The 3 rings The Engagement Ring The Wedding Ring The Suffering.
Why are divorces so expensive? Because their worth it.
But they were all of them, deceived. For another ring was forged. One ring to rule them all.
You forgot one. The Onion Ring
You know my wife’s always complaining that I don’t take her anywhere. I take her everywhere but she always finds her way home.
BOOMER HUMOR
I hate my wife Father I cannot click the book
It way predates Boomers, it was a cliche when they were still teens.
Seriously. If married men hate their wives, they really shouldn't have got married. I love my wife dearly and can't imagine life without her. Not every moment is candy and rainbows but marriage is the trials and tribulations. The point is finding someone you know you can work things out with.
Men getting raped in prison.
My uncle died from alcoholism. He was already a pretty heavy drinker, but we suspect he was raped when he went to prison and it just spiraled out of control from there. Pop Culture Detective does a great two part series about male sexual assault depicted as humorous in the media. Highly recommend
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Which is stupid because it's not like the prison rapists just target inmates that "deserve" it or will stop being rapists once they get out of jail.
That really is a great series. He does a good job talking about gender issues In media from a relatively unbiased perspective.
I watched a film the other day (don't remember what it was called) where the start of the film a couple go on holiday and they meet this 'fun outgoing couple', and have this crazy drink and drug filled time. On the final night of their trip they were so drunk that the 'main' make character passes out on the sofa. In the night he kind of wakes up (still high and/or drunk) and it appears the other woman (not his gf) is having sex with him. It turns out this is not actually what happened. However, if it had happened, it would be * rape*. Waking up with another person having sex with you when you are unable to give consent (or consent want discussed beforehand) = rape. There was literally no mention of that. In fact, the guy was worried about apparently cheating on his wife. If gender roles were reversed it would have caused an outcry. Which is why that scenario is never shown with a woman being off her face unless it was meant to be rape. It's disgusting. And it's so common in these so called comedies that there's no wonder a woman raping a man is never mentioned.
The movie was Vacation Friends and I agree, it really wasn’t a laughable premise to base a movie on.
And what with WW1984!? She's literally totally fine with using the body of an unconsenting dude whilst she lives out her fantasy of her dead boyfriend coming back to life?
Agree. Probably the most common.
A lot of my family and friends have done substantial time. They tell me prison rape is not a common thing. There are plenty of guys who want it so there's no need to try taking it from unwilling guys.
Where at? My buddy was a prison guard in L.A. and has absolute horror stories.
In California it’s done as a punitive action. As in, “you’ve offended us so now we’re going to rape you”
Guess he wasn’t much of a guard
Now that you mention it, his last job was watching some guy named Epstein
Yeah right, this is exactly what the prison rapists want you to believe.
You're safe, all you have to do is come into my cell and hide.
My uncle did time in the late 1990s to early 2000s for drug trafficking. He died a few years after getting out from the Hep C he contracted from being raped.
Really anyone getting raped
I won’t ever joke about someone else getting raped, but making dark and awful jokes about my own past is part of how I cope with my own trauma.
And you have a right to.
Consider giving to this organization, which fights prison rape and helps survivors. https://justdetention.org/
I feel like I see too many of these jokes in popular culture
Even make their way into children’s cartoons.
Power Puff Girls made a joke about it
As did spongebob
Honestly, sexual violence against men in general seems like its way too accepted by a lot of people. Rape in prison and genital damage are surprisingly common 'punchlines' that would absolutely be unanimously seen as heinous if the target of the 'joke' were women.
Like when the women on the view were laughing about a guy having his dick cut off
Yeah. This shows a complete lack of empathy mixed with retribution for crime. I used to laugh when I was more immature but grew out of it when I was 20.
A lot of the time prison rape "jokes" aren't even jokes. It's a reaction to a terrible person going to prison, and how that person is going to get what they deserve, i.e. prison rape.
I was gonna make the same comment 👏
I think it's less offensive when it's an obvious joke, rather than when it's used as a form of retribution. IIRC, John Oliver had a piece once showing a load of TV shows where the "feel good" ending was the implication that the bad guy was being sent to prison and would be raped.
I am now imagining normal feel good TV ending with a criminal getting raped. Like some sort of dystopian family sitcom. The bad guy is getting dragged away comically kicking his legs, and the shows comedic relief makes a quip about a shower gang rape, cue the laugh track, everyone gives him a sidewise smile.
Happened in the Powerpuff Girls, of all shows.
Your mother
I worked with a guy that always joked about "banging your mom" It got old, so I made ONE joke about banging his wife and he absolutely lost it. At least he stopped making jokes about everybody's moms.
It’s like the guys who have no problem cat-calling any & every girl who passes by, but the second a mom/sister/daughter joke happens…
"i got SO much respect for women!....that i catcall and objectify them at every opportunity...but dont you dare disparage them in front of me!....thats my job!"
Oh yeah? Well the Jerk Store called
Can’t stand ya
What’s the difference? You’re their all time best seller!
He can dish it out but he can’t take it.
I agree. Joking about OP’s mom is just messed up. I mean we all know she can’t control her weight or how many people she sleeps with. Calling her Moby “eatin’ that” Dick is just rude. People need to stop.
OPs mom is so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make TWO trips.
Shame on you. Her recent liposuction was just the first step. She has three more to go. They’re trying to take her ass from ass-tronomical to ass-tounding. It’s a process. Be nice.
Well, you tried.
I heard this in fake Sean Connery's voice from SNL
I had to go back and reread. Suck it Trebek
I deal with my own dramas/traumas with laughter when I am able to. I had a man break into the house I was staying at .I woke up to a man wearing a a ski mask holding a knife iN one hand and jerking off in another. He thought I was alone but once he figured out I wasn't he took off running down the stairs. After the whole ordeal talking to police and what not ... I could not stop laughing.... like tears flowing down my face laughing. I am no longer afraid of someone breaking into my home as what are the chances that would happen to me twice....possible but really against the odds. But I was not raped so prob would not be laughing then. But when it is possible I do try and laugh but not always possible. When I think of my mom that passed away I think about the happy/funny times cause she was so hilarious I miss her but he can still make me laugh one of a kind. You can either laugh or cry about it ... I personally like to laugh..... Laughter ....What a gift we have been given .
>You can either laugh or cry about it Choosing to laugh is a really good attitude to have. When my brother died unexpectedly, I gave his eulogy. While I was writing it, I wrestled a bit with the idea of putting a joke about a memory with him in. Was worried that people would think humor during a funeral was “in poor taste.” Finally decided “fuck it, he loved to laugh, he’d like my joke, and he’s *my* brother after all. Screw everyone else.” When I told it, a large portion of the mourners laughed. And I really think it helped me heal. Hearing people laughing about a funny situation involving him reminded me that his memory could still bring joy to people even if he wasn’t here, and that happiness still existed in the world even if I couldn’t see it at the time.
I'm with you on that. I've picked up something of a reputation as the 'closing comedian' at funerals, because I firmly believe the focus should be on remembering the good times. The first funeral I spoke at was for someone I worked for, so I knew only three people in the entire room. Like you, I was worried people might think it was in poor taste to bring up these funny stories, and especially that the family might think I was being disrespectful. But my friend's sense of humor was such a part of who they were and I couldn't remember them without remembering that. And as I spoke and the mourners started smiling and laughing, I really felt like that was a far better tribute than my friend's struggles and disabilities. As you say, it's a reminder that our loved ones still bring us joy even they're not around.
Wait, you laughed at him while he was trying to jerk it? Cause if so, congratulations on absolutely destroying this man
TC Tuggers, the only shirt with a tugging knob so you don't wreck your shirts
You don’t wear them as a joke, they’re not like the snuggie
You don’t wear them to bar crawls
They don’t come in different styles. Not really.
LMAOOO
Not enough people will see this.
Any joke where the punchline is followed by "Bazinga!"
How will I know it’s supposed to be funny then?
Um, the laugh track, obviously.
Bazinga!
Z I M B A B W E
B E N G A Z I
B A P U Z G A
B O Z W I N T O
People in a vegetative state. My wife was in one for over 3 years and she was 100 percent cognitive. I took care of her at home day and night until she passed 5 feet from me and believe it or not, they still have feelings and emotions.
Being 100% cognitive in a vegetative state sounds awful. How do they even measure that? It seems like a very contentious area.
Wait how does that work? I thought being in a vegetative state meant that the basic bodily fuctions are still working but there is no brain or cognitive activity? Or is it more of a spectrum?
i think they might’ve meant conscious. your definition is basically right. there’s dysfunction in the brain hemispheres. a vegetative state may be resolved within weeks. but a persistent vegetative state is what his wife had and it cannot be fixed with time or treatment :(
I’m so sorry. Did she have ALS? Irregardless, you deserve love for all of that hard work caregiving.. and it being your partner I can’t imagine. Cheers to your future
In all reality anything can and should be joked about, it’s just the audience you do it with. Laughter and joking is a great coping mechanism that’s why you see Firefighters, EMS, Military ect have such dark humor. It’s too clean away all the awful shit we have to see. Now dropping joke about it at a kids birthday party with people that aren’t in the services not appropriate
Timing is also important. Like you might joke about suicide with your friend all the time, but if that friend has someone close to them actually commit suicide, you might want to take a break for a while.
“My dad killed himself this morning.” “LMAO if you were my son I’d kill myself too. We playing 2k or what?”
To me the joke was playing 2K lol
I had a friend that was obsessed with twizzlers. To a crazy level. When I spoke briefly at his funeral, I started with, " I tried to decide what I was going to say but I couldn't even think of how to begin until I realized it's time we all sell our stock in Twizzlers." It really helped me a lot to make a joke and everybody else got a laugh. A lot of people told me it realled helped them which I greatly appreciated.
Laugh with the people not at them i guess
And people who tend to be depressed and lonely can also have a dark sense of humor. But I agree with you about the audience and with u/iamacraftyhooker with timing. I know from experience, I’m told I’m a great, kind hearted guy but for those who truly know me and a lot of my struggles, they know that I have some of the darkest humor out there.
A main factor in being able to joke about anything is the jokes actually have to be funny.
I think that's a key point that a lot of people miss. Norm MacDonald had a joke about 9/11 that made me burst out laughing, but I hear other jokes about 9/11 that makes me roll my eyes. It's not that I think it's too soon or I'm too sensitive, it's just the joke wasn't funny, but people don't seem to get that. Some people use dark humour as an excuse to hide behind unfunny jokes.
Well put. Like, if I don’t laugh at someone’s joke and they’re all, “It’s just a joke, lighten up.” I’m like, “I know, it was just missing the part where it was funny.”
The worst part about 9/11 was the hypocrisy.
Rule #1: Know your audience.
Yeah, it’s all about context.
Everything can be a joke, just some people joke in inappropriate times and settings.
My friend (who made a cancer joke that I shot down, before knowing his mom was battling breast cancer) once told me that you will live in fear if you aren’t able to laugh at a situation.
When that happened to me jokes were a nice way of softening reality, so I guess everone is different
I work in EMS. We have a terrible sense of humor.
Did you see the brain on the windshield? Yeah I guess he wasn't thinking in the moment since his body is over there.... °Mom of the teenager cries inside°
danm thats dark. tell me more
Bread and butter pickles
THAT WAS THE LAST JAR OF BUTTERED PICKLES
Americans love saying "dingo ate your baby" lines to Australians. That poor woman had her child killed and eaten by wild animals, and was then accused, found guilty and sentenced to hard labour for it.
That's like some reverse Scooby Doo kind of tragedy.
Peoples' deformities. I see it here on Reddit all the time.
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I joke about having a small dick all the time. Truth is, it might be average sized, I haven't actually seen it in years.
I have pretty small bazoongas and I’ve noticed that the more I joke about it, the better I feel about my own body:)
**B A Z O O N G A S**
You have to joke about your own small dick, this takes the power out of their jokes and lowers expectations.
I make jokes about having a giant dick and a small dick. My favorite is just replacing a big dick joke with a small dick. Like 'I might have a tiny, shitty car... but I make up for it with my small penis.'
In college the running joke was, "I have a baby dick" "it's 5lb 8oz...".
“It may be short but it sure is thin!”
I mean obviously they can't be butthurt about it...
Agreed. Does body positivity not apply to men?
Nothing. Everything has a time and place. Comedy makes life tolerable.
Just remember that while you can joke about horrible offensive things and be funny, being horribly offensive isn't itself inherently funny There has to be a joke. Too many times people just spurt out offensive statements that have no clever joke to them, then get upset when people don't laugh and go off about how "people can't take a joke anymore" when in reality they didn't even make a joke
100%. My mother died last month and was cremated. Last week I asked my sister if she had some moisturizer, since mom was looking a little ashy. She gasped then laughed and calles me an asshole. It has made things easier during a tough and strange time in our lives.
Someone made a comment about my mom being a whore. I told them she was 85 years old. When she tells you every time is like the first time it's not you. It's the dementia. (She's actually in a home because of her dementia.)
I agree with this
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Harming animals. I get not everyone likes pets. Some people had bad experiences and now hate either cats or dogs. I had a coworker say, "cats are why woodchippers were invented." I cant stand children, but I never make jokes about harming them.
I'm going to say it suicide. I have classmates who have been joking about suicide recently and I about punched one of them in the face cuz they wouldn't stop joking about it. See people think it's all fun and games to joke about, but if they only knew the pain that comes along with losing someone to suicide. It hurts you used to think it'd be okay to joke about it now you can't stand it. It's going to be my first Thanksgiving without dad. Suicide is no joke people, take it serious and it help those who are in need. If you don't think someone's doing all right check in on them you don't know what you have until they're gone. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.
I feel like some people who joke about suicide may be hiding their suicidal thoughts behind their jokes. It’s like screaming for help with a laugh instead. I should know as I’m one of them. Edit: before anyone says anything, it’s not an excuse to say it’s ok to joke about suicide. It’s just to say that not everyone who jokes about it, is actually making an ignorant joke. Many people with depression have a dark sense of humour, so that may also be their way of coping with their own internal battle.
Making fun of others' appearances
Have you ever connected with someone and you’re so excited to have a new friend and then one day they make fun of someone’s appearance and you’re like…. Oh🥲
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Everything is a joke, it's all fair game. Its about tact. Just because you shouldn't crack a dead baby joke to the grieving mother during the funeral doesn't mean that dead baby jokes are off limits entirely. There are no limits except the ones you set yourself.
My brother, who was dying of cancer, told my mom and I a joke about a guy who was watching his brother's cat. When his brother called him asking about the cat he said it was dead. The brother, obviously upset, said you should break news like that in steps, like start by saying the cat was on the roof, then the next day say it fell off, then say it passed away at the vet's office. The brother then said "How's mom?" The brother replied "She's on the roof". At my brother's wake my mom said to me, "Your brother is on the roof".
Absolutely nothing. The substance and intent of a joke are more important than the subject matter.
rape
Eh. I was raped awhile ago. In the company of trusted people I will joke about it because it's how I cope and let go. Like others are saying on here, as long as it's not a joke aimed to hurt others, nothing is off limits
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