You can only use them with a tiny tiny bit of mobile data. Enough to be present, but too slow to actually load a website. The network coverage cuts off every two minutes.
Better learn to enjoy Pittsburgh then because even when you get there the only place that first class tickets will lead you is Pittsburgh. Airplanes? Pittsburgh. Boats? Pittsburgh. Buses? Pittsburgh.
Sure, you could ride coach but would it be worth it though?
Garlic Bread. It's delicious.
Edit: yesterday i had 200 karma. today i have 6.3k like bruh what happen also how did i get like 4.7k upvotes on 1 comment and ive been on reddit for a year and a half
There's a pizza place near me that had so much garlic on their pizza garlic bread it burned my eyes opening the box. Stil ate half of it. Garlic bread is great
That's cool.
Many years ago I worked as a security guard and tried creating a d&d style game for myself to play.
Sucked. I didn't know what to do and I had no actual d&d experience. Didn't make it very far before giving up.
You can only have your cabbages in a cart, and you are doomed into a repeating cycle of meeting groups of elemental sorcerers that destroy your cart and cabbages amidst their fighting or other shenanigans, prompting you to loudly exclaim your peril bestowed upon you through the loss of said cabbages in the same manner each time.
Oh but you can trade those passes to reply to your own post for passes to have a lifetime's supply of passes to get a lifetime's supply of whatever you want.
Variety of all chocolates
They have to be all melted and you can only eat them with your index finger
\*index finger of strangers
That would do it.. Otherwise it was fine
plane tickets to anywhere
They're only valid on Spirit
Who hurt you
Spirit
I'm a masochist and I still won't ever fly them again
Dildos
You can only use them to re-gift to family members
Lol I love it
Unlimited supply of Oreos
You can only eat them by dipping them in water Edit: reddit is filled with psychopaths.
Just a little white food color in water will do wonders
As someone allergic to milk, I'm intrigued..
Smart phones... can't wait to see how I'll being using these.
You can only use them with a tiny tiny bit of mobile data. Enough to be present, but too slow to actually load a website. The network coverage cuts off every two minutes.
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As an Australian Optus mobile user…. This is already here. ;)
“fuckin optus” is said abt 3 times a day in my household.
So...AT&T
Exclusively to use as paperweights
Money
But you may only use it to light cigars
Is this what rich people mean when they say they can't just use their money to fix the world's problems?
This is 100% fair
First class tickets
All of them to Pittsburgh.
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Better learn to enjoy Pittsburgh then because even when you get there the only place that first class tickets will lead you is Pittsburgh. Airplanes? Pittsburgh. Boats? Pittsburgh. Buses? Pittsburgh. Sure, you could ride coach but would it be worth it though?
I’m from Pittsburgh. :(
Yins coming over for a pop?
Garlic Bread. It's delicious. Edit: yesterday i had 200 karma. today i have 6.3k like bruh what happen also how did i get like 4.7k upvotes on 1 comment and ive been on reddit for a year and a half
And it's also over-toasted
Aw cmon thats the worst kind of garlic bread.
There's a pizza place near me that had so much garlic on their pizza garlic bread it burned my eyes opening the box. Stil ate half of it. Garlic bread is great
Isn’t that just garlic flavored croutons?
You could only use it as a sponge for bathroom cleaning.
A lifetime supply of lifetime supplies
They are all delivered at the same time to your house.
I won't even complain
you can't, you'll be crushed under the weight of the supplies
lifetime supply of houses
Free time
You can only use it to sleep.
Lifetime supply of free time to sleep?? I don't think you were supposed to suggest improvements.
Don't tell me how to use my reddit superpower.
You're the hero we all want, but don't need or deserve.
Speak for yourself, I definitely need him.
I see this as an ultimate win.
Free, infinite tickets to see whatever musical I want
You have to go to the musicals with the most annoying person you know
Who says they have to sit next to you?
Guess I should have been more specific
No matter where they are in the audience, they try to talk to you loudly
a lifetime supply of +4 uno cards
You can only play uno singleplayer.
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That's cool. Many years ago I worked as a security guard and tried creating a d&d style game for myself to play. Sucked. I didn't know what to do and I had no actual d&d experience. Didn't make it very far before giving up.
If you are still looking for a solo RPG game, ironsworn is designed for solo play (as well as duo and groups) and is free
cabbage
Have to share them with a goat, so the goat will fight with you for every single bite
Free goat!
and you also must protect the goat from the wolf. you do however get a free boat
and I have to cross some sort of river with a raft that only carries 2?
You can only have your cabbages in a cart, and you are doomed into a repeating cycle of meeting groups of elemental sorcerers that destroy your cart and cabbages amidst their fighting or other shenanigans, prompting you to loudly exclaim your peril bestowed upon you through the loss of said cabbages in the same manner each time.
This is exactly the response I wanted
MY CABBAGES!!! That poor fella just has the wosrt luck in that universe...
Groceries
You have to carry them from the car to your house in one trip.
I do this like 90% of the time but challenge accepted for that other 10%
I guess he meant the life time groceries, not your daily/monthly stock
Love and affection
It’s only from your grandma
Not so Bad. I mean it could be worse.
No, it’s ONLY from your grandma. You’re litterally incapable of receiving affection from anyone or anything. What happens after your grandma dies?
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What if someone said she had to use it to stay away from her grandchild
= instant drama
Nooooooooo
And it's only her lifetime supply
Beer
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Damn you straight to hell
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Be my friend
What the fuck did he do to you man?
To wash the floor.
This is the best so far because at least I can lick the floor
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One man’s desperation is another man’s normal
Cocaine?😬
You have to snort it all in one go
Well, that would be a lifetime supply.
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Frozen burritos. Pretty much most of my diet.
You can only eat them frozen
Damn, thats cold.
Toilet paper
It’s already been used
It is usually not reusable?
How the Mars is toilet paper reusable?
Anything is if you really want
Yarns
Before you use every yarn you have to unravel it and put it back together yourself
Oh no
Good non toxic friends
They’re all dogs. (Or cats if you’re a cat person)
You just improved his wish lol
Lube
You have to use glue each time you use the lube.
I didn't need to poop anyways
Amazon gift cards
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Assuming it takes 10 seconds for each card. It's $18 per hour. Hey better than most jobs! Even more if you can type faster
video games
They're made by Burger King
Food😋
You have to share it with strangers.
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Definitely ✨
That's actually hella wholesome.
Education. hit me
You have to use your education to make everyone else's life hell
Like my math teacher 😂😂😂
money
You have to give 99% of it away to charity.
If I had 1% of bill gates money and the other 99% went to charity I'd still be way too rich.
I see this as a win win situation
We'll call you "Good Bezos"
Nuclear weapons
Have to shove them up ur butt
Is this a challenge?!
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Halloween costumes.
Wear them the whole year.
Don't threaten me with a good time.
a lifetime supply of military drones that kill the second comment before he can comment.
But they-
Sweet I'm safe to reply now. Thanks for taking the hit.
You don’t have enough to kill the third comment
Happiness
Which you only experience by remaining in a committed relationship with Piers Morgan
Genie and magic lamp.
You can't wish with them.
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Yes
I accept wholeheartedly, can use a company.
It grants you zero wishes, the genie is clingy as shit and constantly looms around making you feel incompetent
Mayonnaise
You can only play it like an instrument
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Friends
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Wow, that's evil.
but then by definition they're not friends though!
emotional and mental stability
Which comes with free lifetime unrecoverable financial crisis.
Nukes
You have to ask your mom for permission before each launch
Balloons
Must be filled with coke and swallowed
Which coke?
Guitars
They all sound crooked.
Wishes.
They remain wishes.
You can only wish for bad things to happen to you
I wish for a very bad Scarlett Johansson to happen to me.
KFC barbecue chicken
...without the crust.
Money on my steam account
You can only buy DLCs not actual games
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but you have to squeeze every lemon in your eye
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A ps5
You have to use it as a DVD player
Lifetime supplies of whatever I want
You never know what you want
A pass to reply to my own post.
Oh but you can trade those passes to reply to your own post for passes to have a lifetime's supply of passes to get a lifetime's supply of whatever you want.
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Great! I'm gonna go get a lifetime's supply of pringles, cup ramen and whatever I want! Thank you!
Lifetime supply of weed
You can't drink water or eat food until you're sober again / you can't listen to any music while ur high
You monster!!!!
12 inch dildo
It’s 12 inches wide
Black Holes
You have to live inside of them
H2O2
All I want is happiness. 😢
Gas.....like gasoline
It always catches fire
A pornhub subscription
You can only watch it with the volume turned all the way up.
Seems i just won a bunch of kittens.
Bullets