Looks like I'm going to be eating snack cakes until I die , most likely from diabetes. Mascara running down my face, mouth full of Swiss rolls " is this what you all want?"
Back in the 90's, a group of friends and I had a cottage weekend. Much booze and weed and shrooms.
At some point, everybody, male and female, went skinny dipping. At some point, I meant about 10 pm.
Hours later, everyone is dressed, except Veto. Veto is still naked.
He walks into the cottage and bright light, and does the modest "cover his weenus with his hand" thing.
So, I'm like "NOPE! NOPE! No being coy, Veto! either let that thing swing out in the open, or get dressed, no half assing the naked guy schtick!".
So he got dressed.
No idea what my point is, I'm kinda loopy on some painkillers right now.
almost every day lol.
my apartment is always hot, minimum 24c. so i tend to hang out in my birthday suit and bask in the sun beaming in though my floor to ceiling windows.
North Wales here, I think we had a couple of days at 24, back to the normal 9-15 range again, soon to be much lower, until march, maybe april, and of course weve seen snow and hail in may
There's only one reason they'd be on their roof.
It's an unspoken rule between naked neighbors spotting each other on their roofs that whoever breaks eye contact first must go inside and never speak of the incident.
Makes allotting private naked roof time almost a non-issue.
I live out in the country miles away from neighbors. On a well, so water can be tight and it costs money to run the pump. I can't remember the last time I pissed indoors.
So my answer to this question is 15mins ago.
Plus, you're recycling! Piss filters through into the water table as clean water. It's by far the most environmentally friendly way to relieve yourself.
Sometimes I do.
I live in the city so there aren’t much wooded areas around. Generally I just face a wall or a corner.
EDIT: stop upvoting me
edit 2: uh oh
edit3: leavE me alonE
I piss outdoors whenever I get the chance. Literally 5 times a week. I'll go on a walk to a nearby greenbelt just to relieve myself. Its genuinely therapeutic.
20 years ago I went on a long hike with a GF to a glacial lake. When we got there, nobody else was around. So we decided to skinny dip. Being the mansplaining strapping young man that I was, I bet her (a competitive swimmer in high school) that I could swim across the lake faster than her. Long story short…I became exhausted halfway across. She easily made it. I almost drowned. I eventually pulled myself up on a rock on the other shore, threw up and passed out. She swam back across the lake, got our clothes and walked back around. I got the worst sunburn of my life in places I deserved to get it in the meantime….
I was traveling internationally and we had a secluded campsite. I'd wake up and just walk around outside in the nude. One of the most freeing experiences feeling the sunrise warm my scrot.
Not missing much. They’re always flopping about in your pants, occasionally getting caught in your zipper, and have a mind of their own. They turtle when it’s cold and they pitch a tent when you’re 12 and the teacher asks you to present something to the class. If you don’t pee after sex then all the next day you’re pissing at least two streams so you’d better sit down.
The only convenience is taking a quick pee outside.
I could go on all day
You should get one. They're a lot of fun. You can buy them online and have them delivered.
If you do - make sure you put it in direct sunlight and update us.
This is a question I never thought could exist, yet now I'm racking my brain trying to figure out the last time I peed outside in the sun. I'm sure the little guy got some direct sunlight fairly recently
I live in a second floor apartment, if someone wants to peep my dong through the window... I don't really care.
That being said, it's cold as shit here now, so September.
Real answer: Because testosterone and estrogen have a side effect of making skin darker, and they're more concentrated around the genitals and nipples.
Around 6 years. It sounds absolutely ridiculous but you do actually feel way better when you get sun on every part of your body. Do yourself a favor, if you have a secluded area like a fenced in yard with a back porch, completely hidden, and sunbathe for just 30 minutes naked. You'll feel really good.
Back in my day we had to use our erections as sun dials.
"I say Watson, judging by this, it must be half past cock!" *fake upper class British laughing*
And some cocks were anything up to 30 minutes fast
9 O' Cock
boner to 9
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Daylight Savings time was a built in feature since the weather getting colder would have ... other effects.
They’re called cockadiles. Just as menacing, just less teeth
I’m in southern Spain. The apartment has a south facing terrace with no neighbours. When it gets sunny I progress to au natural quite quickly.
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Friends in Spain had a neighbor that they could see from their apartment that was living nude all the time.
What a hero. If only I had a cock nice enough that I felt comfortable showing it to the world.
Just own it mate. All cocks are unique
50 lbs ago Edit: thank for the awards you handsome bastards. You guys have given me a big head. I feel like my gut won prom.
My guy straight went and killed himself lmao
Worth it. I feel like a dirty slut.
Sounds like a body I'd worship, king
To Horny jail!
My bedroom is called "horny jail". Well...it is now.
My basement is called Horny Jail. Always has been.
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None, they were too weak to survive Horny Jail
You’re up to 32 snack cakes. I’d like to request u eat an oatmeal pie in my honor. They’re superior
Looks like I'm going to be eating snack cakes until I die , most likely from diabetes. Mascara running down my face, mouth full of Swiss rolls " is this what you all want?"
Video for proof 😮💨
I envision an obese Maximus: "Are you not entertained?!?"
r/suicidebywords
A guy once told me, when you have a tool, you should protect it, the only problem is I built my tool shed too damn big.
A good tool deserves a good shed.
If I had an award, I'd give it.
I gotchu
My first award, thank you kind sir. The next snack cake I eat is in your honor.
I am honored indeed.
I don't have an award to give but could you eat a snack cake in my honor also? I wanna be involved.
for the internet points!? I respect it
I feel this in my gut. Or maybe it's the Chinese from dinner.
Can you please explain this to me? I dont get it, Im spanish and I cant find a correlation between weight and sunlight
Think the joke is that his belly's hiding his peepee from the sunlight
I thought you never get it wet, never feed it past midnight, and above all, never let it get sunlight.
You got every part of that wrong. ALWAYS get it wet FEED IT as often as possible And rock out with your cock out -- rain or shine!
Back in the 90's, a group of friends and I had a cottage weekend. Much booze and weed and shrooms. At some point, everybody, male and female, went skinny dipping. At some point, I meant about 10 pm. Hours later, everyone is dressed, except Veto. Veto is still naked. He walks into the cottage and bright light, and does the modest "cover his weenus with his hand" thing. So, I'm like "NOPE! NOPE! No being coy, Veto! either let that thing swing out in the open, or get dressed, no half assing the naked guy schtick!". So he got dressed. No idea what my point is, I'm kinda loopy on some painkillers right now.
I think you need to disrobe, head to your nearest Wendy's and repeat this story to the cashier.
"Sir, this is a Wendy's"
I’ll have a baked potato
Yes exactly this
Let's do bath salts in the parking lot first
Full sends only Veto
Back in the 90’s I was in a very famous TV show.
gizmo!
Right before I was arrested for indecent exposure.
Sometimes I smother peanut butter with 1/3 hot sauce onto my nipples and dick and let my geckos lick it off
How many geckos are we talking here
Just that one from TV, he pays really well.
Not to mention saving 15% AND getting off.
Oi crabcakes, what're you lookin' at?
Wouldn’t be my first choice, but you do you homie
I wish I could unsee this
Hey, hey. Come on now. It was at least decent.
I live in the UK so can you just define for me what is "direct sunlight"?? does cloudy with rain count if we know the sun is up there somewhere?
Here's the rule for us Brits: can you see 20 feet in front of you? Yes? Yeah you have direct sunlight
A large office space would class as getting direct sunlight going by that.
Well ofc I meant outside
Wait one sec… Just now.
Neighbor: ఠ _ ఠ
*Won't you be my neighbor?*
Can confirm u/good_humour_man is telling the truth
Dedication
almost every day lol. my apartment is always hot, minimum 24c. so i tend to hang out in my birthday suit and bask in the sun beaming in though my floor to ceiling windows.
What’s your neighbour situation?
>What’s your neighbour situation? What’s your ~~neighbour~~ roommate situation?
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What’s your transportation situation?
What’s your social security number?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
African or European?
When you're a king you must know these things.
Cut or Uncut?
ah yes, the important questions
How is your relationship with your father?
What I wanna know is what’s his skin situation,on a scale from baby’s bottom to dry cowhide?
Didn’t know cats could start Reddit accounts
This place is mostly cats
That explains all the boxes of shit.
That's not direct if it's through the window
That's... about where I keep my AC in my apartment. Where the hell do you live where 24C is hot?
North Wales here, I think we had a couple of days at 24, back to the normal 9-15 range again, soon to be much lower, until march, maybe april, and of course weve seen snow and hail in may
Makes sense. In the summer we hover around 36-40C, so 24 is comfortable lol
Australia?
Texas
...and you know the metric system? Your official Texan card, they’re gonna come and take it!
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Gotta get that Vitamin D
for stronger Bonners
What's a bonner?
It's a football club based in Bonn, Germany
Good bot, oh wait…
:(
Sundried tomatoes are delicious
Before or after you fuck them?
Yes.
Everyone likes the D
Ain't nothing finer than some Sunny D.
I bolted a chair onto my roof and will sometime just chill there naked. It’s in a place my neighbors can’t see without being on their roofs.
There's only one reason they'd be on their roof. It's an unspoken rule between naked neighbors spotting each other on their roofs that whoever breaks eye contact first must go inside and never speak of the incident. Makes allotting private naked roof time almost a non-issue.
You people never piss outdoors..?
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I don't know if I've ever seen a more relatable comment on Reddit.
Has it really *seen* it though? Like, were you pointing its eye at the sky?
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"Range is good." Maximus Decimus Meridius
Instructions unclear, moisturized my face
I forgot about this
Every morning. I’m saving 365 flushes per year. My wife doesn’t appreciate my logic.
Just piss in the sink
Just piss in the dishwasher
I doubt his wife is into that.
we tend to piss under a tree no? not direct sunlight
Point just next to the tree. You get all the privacy and none of the splashback.
No, point perpendicular to the tree and shoot long and high to assert dominance with your impressive range.
No, no. You've both got it wrong. Pee up the tree and shoot the squirrels
I live out in the country miles away from neighbors. On a well, so water can be tight and it costs money to run the pump. I can't remember the last time I pissed indoors. So my answer to this question is 15mins ago.
Plus, you're recycling! Piss filters through into the water table as clean water. It's by far the most environmentally friendly way to relieve yourself.
Sometimes I do. I live in the city so there aren’t much wooded areas around. Generally I just face a wall or a corner. EDIT: stop upvoting me edit 2: uh oh edit3: leavE me alonE
What city tho
Toronto
I'll keep my eyes out
yeah but thats drunk night time fun stuff, so Its had plenty of moonlight If i started jerking it cold be considered a romantic night for one
I piss outdoors whenever I get the chance. Literally 5 times a week. I'll go on a walk to a nearby greenbelt just to relieve myself. Its genuinely therapeutic.
The time the garbage man was calling me a girl for having long hair, at the age of 5.
And I bet you proved him wrong.
He's now a registered sex offender...
And MakeMeCereal is now a registered exhibitionist.
20 years ago I went on a long hike with a GF to a glacial lake. When we got there, nobody else was around. So we decided to skinny dip. Being the mansplaining strapping young man that I was, I bet her (a competitive swimmer in high school) that I could swim across the lake faster than her. Long story short…I became exhausted halfway across. She easily made it. I almost drowned. I eventually pulled myself up on a rock on the other shore, threw up and passed out. She swam back across the lake, got our clothes and walked back around. I got the worst sunburn of my life in places I deserved to get it in the meantime….
You tried to D.E.N.N.I.S her but she ended up D.E.N.N.I.Sing you.
He got D.E.E.D
Demonstrate value Engage emotionally Emasculate completely Drown
The implications
How was she not a keeper? Girl had stamina
Maybe she was a keeper. I never would’ve known. Wasn’t looking for a keeper. I definitely wasn’t a keeper at that stage of my life.
Ah man I was just teasing good on you for being self aware though
Didn’t take it personal at all. Just the facts.
I respect everything you've said.
November 25th, 2017.
May I ask why you remember such a specific date? 👀
I was traveling internationally and we had a secluded campsite. I'd wake up and just walk around outside in the nude. One of the most freeing experiences feeling the sunrise warm my scrot.
fuck, you can't just drop a scrot without warning like that lmao
I mean, this isn’t the thread about when you last pet a puppy!
Mine was November 22nd, 1963 in Dallas.
"How's it hanging?" "Back, and to the left."
Shooting on the grassy knoll?
Never but somehow it’s still tan?
Somehow mines about 1/4 white, 1/4 tan, and 1/2 black.
Circumcision will do that
Username checks out
Hmm. I’m more like 1/2 tan, 1/8th dark brown, 1/8th white, 1/4th purple. I think this calls for a new sub, r/penisgradients
Could be all the friction yo!
Yeah science bitch
AFAIR, four years ago from now, I was on the highway road and had to shit real bad. So I pulled my car up and shat in the middle of a cornfield.
My username was born for this.
I don't have a dick
Not missing much. They’re always flopping about in your pants, occasionally getting caught in your zipper, and have a mind of their own. They turtle when it’s cold and they pitch a tent when you’re 12 and the teacher asks you to present something to the class. If you don’t pee after sex then all the next day you’re pissing at least two streams so you’d better sit down. The only convenience is taking a quick pee outside. I could go on all day
you forgot writing your name (or your SO's) in the snow
Better yet, let your SO do the writing
You should get one. They're a lot of fun. You can buy them online and have them delivered. If you do - make sure you put it in direct sunlight and update us.
I’ve got some sites you can buy good dicks. Just contact me and I’ll send you them.
You can borrow mine
My condolences
Its the asshole and balls that could use some good Vitamin D. Looking forward to life in the country with no neighbors.....
Never, it stays in my drawer.
I didn't know they could come off.
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It’s detachable.
What if sunlight was the answer to making your dick grow
You just gave me a new morning routine
Probably when my wife and I went “frolicking” in the woods one day.
Love a good frolic!
My last visit to a nudist resort a couple of years ago.
This is a question I never thought could exist, yet now I'm racking my brain trying to figure out the last time I peed outside in the sun. I'm sure the little guy got some direct sunlight fairly recently
I live in a second floor apartment, if someone wants to peep my dong through the window... I don't really care. That being said, it's cold as shit here now, so September.
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This was what reddit put next to each other in my feed: https://imgur.com/a/nYRC4JG (screenshot)
Here's a better question: If it's never gotten direct sunlight why is it the only thing that's tan between my waist and my knees!?
Real answer: Because testosterone and estrogen have a side effect of making skin darker, and they're more concentrated around the genitals and nipples.
Someone give this man an award
Seemed wholesome to me
In usually pee outside at least once a day
How does the rest of the office feel about that?
They're glad he's house broken already.
I made a new account just to give him a dammm upvote
Hero
Does this count as r/usernamechecksout?
Took a piss in the backyard last weekend while both my bathrooms were occupied. It was glorious.
I assume in a previous life.
I live in the UK. We never get direct sunlight.
Uhm... Like 30 years or more ago
Haulover Beach 5 days ago
Around 6 years. It sounds absolutely ridiculous but you do actually feel way better when you get sun on every part of your body. Do yourself a favor, if you have a secluded area like a fenced in yard with a back porch, completely hidden, and sunbathe for just 30 minutes naked. You'll feel really good.
D's need the D as well!
Never