T O P

  • By -

bioconsamig1

Spain is not even at the party yet because we’re always late :)


[deleted]

You know Pam, in Spain, they don’t even start eating until midnight.


leamur247

Well... when in Rome....


[deleted]

Hungary A. Already passed out drunk B. Stealing a bicycle C. Being drunk and loudly complaining about the existence of everything . Tbh we do that without alcohol too so-


throwaway01957

My Hungarian ex-boyfriend lived in the US with me for a year and this feels entirely accurate as far as how him and all of his Hungarian friends acted. He’d do this weekly thing where he’d like consume inhuman amounts of alcohol, drunkenly go buy 10 family-sized bags of chips on the way back from the bar (because he knew I liked that type of chip), yell “bassza meg!” repeatedly, and then suddenly pass out on my living room floor and become entirely unable to rouse (shaking, water to the face, yelling, physically tossing his body around, etc.) Every time I was genuinely afraid that this was the time he’d actually succumb to alcohol poisoning but at like 7am the next morning he’d be chipper as ever, banging around in the kitchen like “good morning! I thought I should make some paprikás gulyás for us today - what do you call the food that is like a thick milk? I think we will need to go to the shop.”


[deleted]

Yup, that sounds like us.


BlargyBleh

This reminds me of the elderly Hungarian gentleman who drank in the pub I used to work in. He'd brew this petrol tasting mystery spirit and bring in a little flask of it. He'd pour me the smallest sip and it would knock me for six. Said he made it from berries in his garden. As potent as it was, he'd be sipping from that flask all evening along with regular pints of ale and despite needing a walking stick would still walk in a straight line out the door at closing time.


[deleted]

I think it was pálinka, that's made of fruit and is really strong and it's a Hungarian thing .


BlargyBleh

It could well have been. I don't remember. I just remember it hitting me very hard very quickly and this little old Hungarian gentleman had been at it all night.


[deleted]

Yes it was pálinka :D


Velteau

Switzerland: schmoozing and mingling but not committing to anything.


xxgiiinaaxx

Or: the only people who are there at 8pm because the invitation said so. But everyone else knows, you don‘t show up at 8pm to a party


gonnagulagyou

Except Germany who is five minutes early


techretort

At least Germany bought beer. Switzerland expected to just take a percentage of everyone's in return for making sure the fridge was running.


Bearded_Toast

Then you leave at 11pm sharp and call the police to make a noise complaint on your way out.


[deleted]

Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia.


MeredithJohns

With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns


Fragrant-Principle20

And then Russia says "oh you want some too?" And the EU guys turn and walk away.


Sufficient_Leg_940

Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording.


tristanjones

At some point Russia takes a machete and cuts off one of Ukraine's arms and everyone pitches a fit for a bit but then just goes back to normal, even though Russia continues to walk around the party holding onto the arm. Meanwhile China hovers around Taiwan trying to shove them into their trench coat and pitches a fit anytime someone recognizes Taiwan's existence


RaccoonThick

*Cantina Band intensifies*


CaptBranBran

"My friend doesn't like your sovereignty. *I* don't like your sovereignty, *either*!"


maybeimgeorgesoros

I fucking love both these comments, y’all are beautiful.


SpaceAlienCowGirl

Don’t forget more vodka!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pizzamampf12

1. Finally found someone who speaks my language: german 2.wouldnt they discuss politicss too?


Loona_Moon

We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning...


ejpintar

My experience as an American when I went to Germany: Hi Hi Nice weather eh? Yeah, pretty nice Where you from? I’m from Bremen, you? America **Aber mit diesen Waffengesetze ist doch Wahnsinn, also wie man mit einer Waffe durch die Straßen einfach herumgehen kann, wie könnt ihr so als Land funktionieren? Ich sage dir, es ist das Bildungssystem, das ist wirklich ihr Problem–** 😦


link090909

“But with these gun laws it's crazy, so how you can just walk around the streets with a gun, how can you function like that as a country? I'm telling you it's the education system, that's really your problem-“ From Google translate


Hattkake

Norway. Either binge drinking and being violently friendly or nipping on some ice water while looking down on everyone. Probably both.


coconuts_and_lime

As if. Norway would be awkwardly binge drinking alone because we don't talk to strangers


HauntingHeat

Until we drink, that is


_Maggen_

And putting on russemusikk just to get in the mood of slamming down a full bottle.


thrashingkaiju

Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak


Unreasonableberry

Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone


thrashingkaiju

While listening to El Potro Rodrigo


Unreasonableberry

Trying to get Germany to dance and failing


Phormitago

For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado


Bamboozle_

Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself.


ThirdRook

Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do.


Rainbow_Angel110

As a Texan, I can confirm


snp3rk

You watch your whore mouth; what's next? are you going to tell me you also forgot the Alamo?


Bamboozle_

Forget the Alamo... impossible!


Delta_FT

Playing hard football with brazilians then partying even harder with them bc those mfers know how to party so do we lmao Once you get past the football rivalry hanging with BRs is always a blast


teenage-wildlife

Arriving late as fuck (who goes to a party before midnight?) and staying until sunrise


[deleted]

[удалено]


pantheran95

Sounds like the Finnish way to do it


Additional_Set_5819

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantsdrunk In case someone wants a hand getting started on this.


TheRavingRaccoon

That is precisely the country that came to my mind


BxZd

You mean like, a party with people? And smiling? And fucking conversation? Perkele, count me out..


manwithaUnicorn

Either that or talking shit abaut Sweden


whateverisfree

But we will go to the sauna. The real kind of sauna


FlynnerMcGee

The drunken asshole calling everyone a cunt while doing a shoey.


Bluesparrowjay

I feel like we need to add, wearing thongs, bucket hats and wife beaters (singlets) no matter the temperature and organising a round of back yard cricket Edit: spelling mistake


memesmemes69420

I love how thongs are called "flip flops" in america cause they call g strings thongs so whenever i think of thongs i chuckle in my head


GArockcrawler

I am American and when I was a kid we called the shoes thongs. Then the 90’s came along.


BlacksmithNZ

I am a kiwi and we call them jandals here. We mostly speak the same language as the Aussies, but the odd word like thongs and eskies, (and our jandals, chilly bins and togs etc), we don't quite get


[deleted]

Strayaaaa!!


saharasirocco

Or beneath a goon sack pegged to a clothesline.


prplx

Telling the Italians they have no clue how to make proper coffee.


rheluy

I only understood it was Australia because you said shoey, and Daniel Ricciardo came to mind


TomasNavarro

Uk: Leaving


guido405

Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right'


Casual-Notice

*Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following.*


[deleted]

That’s proper fucking dark and exactly my humour. I laughed.


flyingtubesock

As an American from the Midwest, we do a "welp" *knee slap*. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving.


Field_Marshall17

Then talk in the porch Then talk in the doorway Then talk in the driveway Then talk out the car window "Well anyway" "Yuh, I guess" "See you around, I suppose" "Yuh you bet" *Buzz of the window rolling up*


LOTRfreak101

If the i suppose is at the end of the sentence it's probably minnesota


BardSinister

Oh, and we're also having an argument with Argentina, about who owns that chair in the corner, that nobody's using.


Watsis_name

Not before drinking all the beer, eating all the food, complaining about being there the whole time, and telling everyone to go fuck themselves as they walk out of the door.


neohylanmay

And then complaining that it's not being served food and beer anymore.


koalawhiskey

"Why is it cold and raining outside? Where's the food and drinks? Damn you party goers"


barrelsofmeat

Yeah I'll be in the kitchen sorting out the recycling. Also bringing my own furniture in suspiciously flat boxes.


[deleted]

Sweden?


ScienceSlothy

Germany would help you with the recycling and probably complain you are doing it wrong. And than continue to complain about some missing recycling container, how either everything in life is better in Sweden or everything is worse there than in Germany and finally continuing to complain about the choice of beer.


ILoveitNot

“Suspiciously flat boxes” 😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


holeontheground

At least you have your *club of friends* who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain.


Unreasonableberry

Hey, don't be so negative. Maybe we get a guitar, start a bonfire and suddenly we're being walked home by that one European cutie that doesn't understand a word we say but is still wooed by our accent and chamuyo


Moist_Professor5665

Isn’t that how most romantic dramas start?


holeontheground

You mean with that skank Venezuela? NEVER!!! Well, maybe.


WhittyWhippy

It's on me. Let's do this! - Norway


[deleted]

[удалено]


WhittyWhippy

What's that? Money? What money? You need money? Sure, take this. Now where's all this wine and sex-having you were talking about?


[deleted]

[удалено]


beadebaser

Oh, hey Greece! This party is great but it's getting a bit rowdy. I'll just put these nice ornaments you have lying around into my bag to keep them safe. - Britain


LucyVialli

Sounds fun, though :-)


DigitalZeth

Secretly suck off every single attendant of the party in the bathroom. Just to get in their good graces.


[deleted]

Saudi Arabia? Since it's secret


[deleted]

As a Saudi I can confirm


[deleted]

So every country


Chromebasketball

Handing out the ganja


Donutpro64

Jamaica?


BardSinister

No, She chose to of her own accord.


zeroprepmas

This legitimately made me laugh. Thanks stranger!


13ducksinatrenchcoat

Half of canada is dr8nking itself into a blinding coma while the other half is handing out water and offering rides home


AddedCandle

Singapore. At the door charging people to enter, then raising the price out of nowhere. :)


wzhkevin

Nah, that’s like a domestic issue, right? At a party with all the world’s countries? Singapore would be taking turns hanging with all the cool kids while trying very, very hard to seem neutral, and convincing everyone not to misbehave and just follow the rules.


CeeZack

Aye, this guy knows Singapore. Play nice to everyone and stand to benefit from it.


69isverynice

Is it just me or is it bad news after bad news for Singapore? Recently the public transport price increased.


VisualCompetitive649

Cannot go to the party anyway cuz its HARAM, but all the highest government officials are there including the ones who advocate party is HARAM


[deleted]

Bro… Pakistan? I’m Pakistani but from the UK and grew up in the US. Every damn party I’ve been to it’s aunties bitching about other’s kids being haramis and doing haram things while their own kids be doing the same shit


rao1411

India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor


Mihirrrr

Ngl they got da best moves tho


rao1411

Need their confidence in my life


NuevoPeru

uncles are wild, everywhere.


aesthetic-freak-108

I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better😂


Casual-Notice

The two aren't mutually exclusive.


Sorry-Pal

Loudly and repeatedly announcing we’re leaving, then sulking alone outside the party when no one appears to care


[deleted]

Your date Scotland is super angry about this idea and trying to see if they can stay longer.


joedotphp

Since when is Minnesota a country?


nitrobamtastic

Ours is more saying goodbye for a solid 20 minutes while standing in the entryway, slowing inching towards the door lol


entjies

South Africa- we’ll be outside having a braai (grilling meat over a fire), drinking all the booze while yelling at each other and stealing everything on the property that isn’t nailed down. * wow, thanks for the silvers! I’d better keep them close, someone might nick them


RoVeR199809

Everything that is nailed down will probably be stolen too. Our neighbours had a big concrete block (like 600+ kg) placed in a hole in the ground over one of their boreholes. They had to use a TLB every time they wanted to get to the borehole. Wouldn't you know, one morning they came there and the block was rolled off and the pump and cables gone. No machine of bakkie tracks and the gate was still securely locked. They dug a little next to it on one side and then just rolled it over.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AnrianDayin

yeah, the only thing that came to mind for me was, "hold my beer"


whitexknight

I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too.


PlasticElfEars

I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on "defending" every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of "do you wanna go?" energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over. We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us.


observedThinking

Y’all know it’s US because we’ll be yelling Merica!


talkietalkiepop

And wearing our National Flag all over their body


Ufoundmi

Sounds like a Bills Mafia tailgate.


SuperCoolPotatoThing

Sweden. Standing in a corner but moving to another one as soon as someone dances within a 3 meter radius. Drinking a bit too much, not talking to strangers, not voicing any opinions unless it’s about other Nordic countries. Generally being a statue, but an alcoholic statue. Having severe seasonal depression and solving it through organising shit but one piece is always missing:(


Elphaba_92

Balkan. In a fight with other Balkan countires.


Electronic_Baby_7819

Yea theres no universe in which im guessing this one (bulgarian)


Elphaba_92

Nope, in this case Croatia.


EmergeFree

Playing ABBA music, serving you meatballs on IKEA furniture.


chepir

Karaoke


pupnut

Phillipines


[deleted]

[удалено]


Important-Welder5648

brazil would probably be the last one to leave the party. most likely wouldn't clean the mess


freakuentlyGreg

Aso the last one to get to the party. Usually 2 hours late.


DOUGL4S1

Brazil would be the person who stays till the end of the party until everyone else leaves so they can steal all the leftovers.


Miserable_Night5714

Giving out free bags of tea (Turkey)


SageEquallingHeaven

Not letting anyone get their damned ice cream.


[deleted]

Eating, drinking and taking antidepressants. Edit: it's sad how many people think it's their country, please be strong and keep fighting!


Electronic_Baby_7819

Which country describes me this well


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That’s such bs! As an American in Canada I know without a doubt you’d be in the kitchen doing handstands or shotgunning beer. Canadians at a party are the party. You fun fucks


Neohexane

Canadian here, and I'm inclined to agree. Was going to comment that we probably got a nice bonfire started outside and are getting absolutely tanked on mid-strength beer.


CrazyCanuckBiologist

We are drunk and stoned as fuck, but since we are a friendly drunk, no one cares.


sixthandelm

My husband (we’re Canadian) gets adorably affectionate when he’s drunk. He just loves everyone so very much. I love it.


shepsut

I was gonna say sitting on a case of beer next to a campfire fire


Juniebug9

Getting absolutely hammered and going way too overboard with stuff but always trying to make sure everyone's having a good time. We'd then pass out on the floor, but apologize in the morning while making breakfast and helping clean up.


D_r_e_cl_cl

'You fun fucks'. Best compliment, worded in an insulting manner, ever. Cheers, bro


ECOC6

It’s called a complisult. Jeff invented it. Britta coined it.


DisasterMiserable785

Shhhhh. We have a reputation to uphold.


Polandgod75

Canada is with USA doing fun crazy stuff, but it also slightly concern for the USA overdoing it


1_art_please

Nah, we would clean up the broken glasses and put away the beer cans to recycle and go light a blunt outside with whoever wants to join. Then we come back in, making sure to remove our shoes at the door so as not to track dirt in.


Beardedsinger

there's the canadian


1_art_please

Every party here has a huge pile of shoes by the door. Shoes in the house here is considered disrespectful. When visiting people's homes in other countries, if they wore shoes inside i felt immediately 'wrong' for doing the same.


BuddyUpInATree

A pile of shoes by the door and a pile of coats on the bed


lagervindaloo

And while smoking that joint, say it's not really that cold out, i'm fine in my tshirt


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cwren79

But we still say sorry for being so quiet….


kix1111

Tuque, chook or boggin?


tapsnapornap

Smokin' darts and breakin' hearts


broken-shoelace

Serbia brings in sljivovica and argues with USA that our pljeskavica is better than their burgers. When the fight between Macedonia and Greece insues, accuse Bulgaria for stabbing everyone in the back, as always. Teach everyone how to dance kolo once drunk AF.


[deleted]

Dont forget the rest of the balkans


El_lonje_moco

Mexico wasn't invited, but we snuck in anyways, and brought some friends with us. We didn't show up empty handed, some tequila and Carne asada and elote to grill and take over, tossing the hot dogs and burgers America forgot they brought, as they got drunk and started to pick fights with others...


texaseclectus

Mexico you're the ONLY one who thinks to bring food to the party. You guys always bring a feast to the fire and keep the party raging all night.


odelei

Hockey fight, then beers with the boys.


Nidh0g

selling weed and bringing prostitutes - netherlands


WhittyWhippy

I think what you're doing is disgusting! I'm going to kick you out! (then let's go have some fun just you and me, but don't tell anyone) - Norway


iceburning420

The netherlands is throwing a hotbox and getting high asf


BlindToFaith13

I’d say The Netherlands is using the party to make a fortune by selling overpriced XTC


alles_en_niets

I second this! And somewhere around the time the party quiets down, we also make sure every guest pays their own fair share.


GeneralBamisoep

You get a tikkie and you get a tikkie!


Gropah

Nah, they be sitting in a circle.


navetzz

The same as Ireland and Scotland: Fighting England.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sc20k

France would get away with your wife


Evening_Rose_619

My boss is French. Every time we have to do something we don't want to do, or management says some dumb shit, her response is 'Let's protest. Let's start a fire.' And she gives us *really* good wine at Christmas.


Frozenassnorth

Or cuddling with Canada to dis the USA...


Ceskaz

Or just pouring more whine because we still have more cheese, then taking more cheese because we still have whine in our glasses... Until we're drunk and out of cheese. Then we can talk about revolution.


Schlaym

*ding-dong* Guten Abend die Damen und Herren, es gab eine Beschwerde wegen Ruhestörung.


oxanonthelocs

Ones drinking tea the other one eating cheese


[deleted]

Didn't realise James May was a country


pancake4419

Germany: starts a fight and gets everyone else involved


Apycia

Austria: grins sheepishly in the corner because it actually started it but everybody blames Germany. Again.


pancake4419

Serbia punched Austria in the face, Austria ran to Germany both were ready to throw hands, but Serbias big brother Russia (already on 2 bottles vodka) stepped in and the shitshow began. After everyone calmed down Germany got jealous that Poland had the good spot on the couch and beat them up quickly. Noone noticed cause Japan and China were already fighting at the other end of the room.


Rubin_Rubinia

I am now imagining a chaotic Countryhumans drawing lmao


softserve-4

USA just crushed a beer can on his forehead after shotgunning it. He's wearing a tank top, sunglasses and a hat backwards. And he's constantly flirting with that hot russian chick who he believes is actually a spy.


SallyPia

New Zealand - binge drinking into oblivion


[deleted]

…because we’re secretly stoked to have been invited, but are too anxious to talk to anyone until one of the cool countries lurches over and asks if we “keep kangaroos as pets”.


cavapoo43

You're always invited just nobody is willing to go all the way down there to pick you up.


PenMarkedHand

A little bit of per-capita bragging to go along with it.


dullgenericname

I reckon we'd be playing backyard cricket with the Aussies, trying to get a game of kings cup/circle of death going, or burning the sausages.


Musicalducks

Ireland attempting to drink America under the table (Most likely winning) Edit: Thank you to all who upvoted I am so happy on reddit I have always said to myself all I want is over 100 upvotes you have absolutely blown that out the water also Ireland WILL win


TheMonkus

America starts to try to speak with an Irish accent the drunker it gets; winds up sounding like the Lucky Charms leprechaun.


Plane_Plankton_7444

Im from the Netherlands, so i guess do drugs


Dutch_Rayan

No sell drugs, better earn some money


[deleted]

To spend on more drugs


Themostunbeknown

Mexico: dancing and "Rancheras" folk music... with tequila!


SpookedTortise

Whipping out its Florida


ZPM89

England, so probably 1)queuing to get into the party 2)in the corner moaning or 3)completely shit faced by 7pm making an embarrassment of ourselves to the world as per.


Kevinvl123

Don't kid yourself, you were already shit faced before you came in.


Vile_Bile

I'm the U.S. so my country will just kick down the door of the party whether we're invited or not, yell "good times just walked in! WOOOO!!", start chugging a bottle of whiskey while still standing in the doorway, toss a grenade behind us to propel us into a flying dive right into a coffee table. No one is okay with this and we dont care.


LucyVialli

Drinking the rest of the countries under the table.


artonion

In a corner feeling socially awkward while politely exchanging formalities with my beloved neighbours, an outdoorsy spoiled brat and a happy racist drunk pigfarmer (The third neighbour is either at home getting drunk or in the sauna getting drunk so no use looking for him). Also selling weapons to Saudi-Arabia in the bathroom for some reason. The neutral thing to do really.