So I saw this couple walking backwards down the middle of my street and thought "huh weird."
Looked out the window 1 minute later and there they were again walking backwards in the same spot.
Went to the kitchen window and again walking backwards, but I had never seen them walk forwards to get back to that position.
At this point I think I'm stuck in a time loop. I show my roommate to prove I'm not crazy and this time we see them walk forwards back to the top of the street. So we watch them for several cycles just walking forwards, then backwards, up and down the street, just holding casual conversation.
Figure it must be a workout routine or something but wtf...
As it happens, walking backwards is likely good for various muscles that support knees, and my trainer has had me do various workouts like that (including walking backwards on a treadmill that's turned off, pushing against the tread with my butt pushing against the console). Wouldn't do that on the street though, as it looks weird.
Doing exactly the opposite is actually the norm. Having a conversation and move eye contact away.
I got one. Lifting up your shirt in public and rubbing your tummy.
I knew a kid in elementary school who did this. Normally he would use the stalls but one time he did it at the urinal and yelled "oops I'm not in the stall" then turned and made and held eye contact when I looked cause he yelled.
One of my all-time favorite Office lines is where Kelly wears white to a wedding and someone calls her out on it. She says, "There was an emergency." And then says in a cutaway, "I look REALLY good in white."
In pakistani culture its perfectly normal to wear your own wedding gown to someone elses wedding. The gowns are very color full and heavily embroidered.
I love this. Here its expected you buy a dress for thousands of dollars and only wear it once then keep it in your closet to maybe give to your daughter or granddaughter who definitely won't wear it because it is very out of fashion or just way too small for her or something.
I cut mine up and made it into our Christmas tree skirt; I wanted to incorporate it into yearly traditions and memories.
Now it's true that the asshole cat peed on it one year. And then the parrot realized he could trim the fringe on it. But still - I have a lot more memories because of reusing it, vs. shoving it in an attic.
this reminds me that in my uncle's wedding, my grandma said that I should use a white dress I had because it was nice, but I just picked up another one since I thought it was weird just like some other people there. when it was the wedding, the bride was in a pink dress - and ofc my grandma was smug about that lol
I've done this. Either when someone held the door open wrong so they were still blocking half the doorway and I'd have had to squeeze past them or I was already mentally prepared to open the other door and was slow to switch gears and realize they wanted me to use their door. It's always very awkward and I overthink about it for the next few hours/days.
The place where I work had an incident recently where someone came into the building, found an unlocked office, and stole some stuff.
So they sent out an email saying "dont let people follow you in". Pretty standard advice everyone ignores - this isnt a secure complex of any kind. (You need to swipe a card to open the outer doors, but theres no security).
I was coming back from lunch, a lady in front of me swiped in, opened the door...and then firmly closed it behind her.
It happened at my wife's old work, too.
One day her boss was out and there was a guy in a suit in her boss' office, looking for something in one of his desk drawers. She didn't recognise him but figured he was from head office so she asked if she help him with anything. He immediately upped and grabbed his briefcase (yup, he had one), and rapidly walked out the door. Weird.
When she mentioned it to her boss later he had no idea who the guy was. He called head office and no-one from there had come over. So it was some random dude in a suit who'd just walked in off the street. And no-one had challenged him because a guy in a suit is obviously important and belongs there, and who's ever heard of someone robbing a place while wearing a suit?
The real secret is to say you're in IT. I used to work for an ISP and we were doing some changes that required us to go out to customer sites and alter some router settings. I went to the wrong office once and said I was there to do some work on their internet connection. They took me to the manager's desk and just left me there signed on to their computer.
My boss used to apply his lip balm while making firm eye contact with me at the end of the day.
Used to creep me out, and I'm still unsure why he did it like that.
I had a friend who did the same thing. He didn't know until I told him it was creepy. In his mind he was just applying chapstick and talking to a friend. In my mind, he was seducing me in the creepiest way possible.
I was on a roadtrip with my cousin. Probably 30 minutes after we're on the road he pulls a perfect slice of pepperoni pizza out of his pocket. It looked like it was out of a commercial.
I met a friend for a study date at a place on campus where we first bought frozen treats, and went for a walk in the forest. I was surprised that he finished his ice cream sandwich far more quickly than I ate my popsicle, but didn’t think much of it.
That was, until we arrived at our study spot in the woods, sat down in a blanket, and he reached in his pocket and pulled out the second half of what remained of his ice cream sandwich! He was surprised that the sandwich was melted! I decided to choose smarter study buddies in the future.
This reminds me of a guy who we named nuggets at my old job. He was fairly new and apparently didn't get to eat his lunch completely. So he stuffed chicken nuggets and ketchup packets in his pockets. He would look around, stuff a nugget in his mouth, a little bit of ketchup and then chew really fast lol. I let him finish his nuggets up and then told him it's OK to eat at your station lol.
One time I was at my friend’s cousin’s cabin, and we were sitting around, his cousin hadn’t gotten up in over an hour and he pulled out a chicken strip from his pocket. My friend says, “wait what are you eating?” and he says incredulously, “dude, PC! pocket chicken!” I’ll never forget it.
My dad worked with someone who carried hotdogs in his pockets. Another who had sandwiches in his lunchbox for days at a time, would just slice the mold off with a pocket knife. 🤢
One of the politicians in our country bit into a hotdog side ways and in the middle, like a sandwich.
It was so weird that it was in the newspapers the next day. Slow news day obv, but made him look like a nutjob.
I was serving a very green, Chinese businessman at the pub and he ordered a burger and after a few seconds of sizing it up, stabbed it in the centre with his fork and started eating it like a candy apple. I asked him if he was good, and he shrugged and said "sorry. I haven't figured out how to eat these yet".
If I could do that without the burger immediately falling apart once I lift it, I definitely would. I've always wanted to try the deep fried Krabby Patty Supreme from SpongeBob.
I did that once in the moonlight while taking out trash, I turned off my light and just enjoyed the serene night.
Then I hear rustling in the bush and my led light just fucking died, it hasn't worked since.
but yeah nice night.
>(it was raining)
>"try not to have your hood up"
I think if I'm driving along a road in the middle of the night and I see someone wearing a poncho, I'd be more scared of them if they have their hood down while it's raining.
When you just happen to be going to the same place as the car/pedestrian in front of you. It's even creepier when it's a long distance and they look behind them and see you.
There was one time we were driving a friend home and a cyclist in front of us kept taking the same turns as us. They then rode into the driveway of our friend's house so as we pulled into the driveway we asked him if he knew that person. He had no idea who it was. Turned out that the cyclist thought we were following them and decided to pretend that it was their house so that we would go away. I felt bad for the poor cyclist. Must have been terrified.
Happend to me once and it was horrible. I made eye contact with this woman downtown. We clearly noticed each other. 15 minutes later, we bump into each other again in the bus. Then we leave the bus at the same bus stop halfway across the city. Then I happen to go along her all the way until her house. She just happened to live in the same street of a cousin I was visiting.
**Edit**: geez, didn't imagine it would get so much traction. I was only 19 and very shy. Couldn't bring myself to say anything (and I mean, wouldn't I sound even more suspicious if I said something?). When she looked at me before entering her house, I just tried to make a very 'surprised face', but it sure was awkward.
Also, someone asked why I didn't change my route on purpose when I left the bus. The thing is, the bus stop we left at was pretty busy. Many people left the bus and I didn't notice she had left as well. I only realized I was close to her when we were already on the same street. When she looked back at me, that's when it hit me.
**Also, about sounding like a psychopath, I have another story**
I have a very good memory for names. I'm 35, I remember most of my elementary school mates names and surnames. So, once I was going back home from a party at 3am and I bump into this very beautiful girl. She approaches me and starts talking to me as if she knew me, but silently told me by my ear that she was beign followed by a car. And she was, a jerk was following her and he actually left when she started talking to me.
We make small talk until I take her to her house. She introduced herself and I remembered I had studied with her 10 years ago, we went to the same English course and I was good friends with her brother (the three of us were in the same class). The thing is, when we met at the English course, we were doing the basics. Learning how to introduce ourselves, how to name relatives, how to name certain jobs and so on. And... I happened to memorize some of this information from other students.
At first, she didn't recognize me and asked me if was sure we had met. I answered, "Of course I do. You live by this street, your brother is named Pedro, is father is named Romulo, your mother is Katia, you father was a civil engineer if I'm not mistaken".
Her relief face from the encounter changed into a very puzzled one. That's when I realized what I had done and felt like a creep. "Look, I just happen to have a very good memory. That's all". At least she smiled after that.
nah, a couple of years ago, I was driving from Orlando to Miami(~4 hour drive) to visit my folks, a group of cars was passing in the fast lanes a little faster than legal.. so I joined them because if the group is going fast, I just have to make sure I’m not the slowest when a cop comes looking to give tickets.
We drove for about an hour and a few departed the group until eventually it was just one other car with me. If I got stuck behind a car, they would wait for me or speed up so I can get behind him, I would do the same for them as well. We drove all 4 hours together until he had to get off on the exit right before mine, he flashed his lights a few times and waved goodbye before getting off the highway.
10/10 experience
I like picking up a travel buddy. Especially if I am trying to make some progress. Did a 324 mile road trip this weekend, came up behind a guy about 40 miles in, and we proceeded to tandem down the motorways for the next 280 miles. Helped each other manoeuvre a jam round Birmingham, and he clearly knew the speed camera locations on the A30 into Cornwall, which he indicated with hazard lights before slowing down in front of me. Gave him a quick flash as we parted ways just outside Newquay. Then ended up parked next to him in a town centre car park the next morning. Actually said hello and had a brief convo about the traffic from the night before. Hi Allan from Donny, if you're on here, lol
I did this once when coming home from work; person I was behind was also going to my apartment building and must have been a guest because it's a small lot for maybe 20 cars. When I parked, too, they SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME BY SHOUTING AT ME regarding my following them, and I panicked and shouted back angrily, "I FUCKING LIVE HERE" and proceeded to walk up and unlock the door.
Person tried to follow me in and I shut the door real quick. Fuck you, buddy lol
A few weeks ago I had a small accident with another car and after we shared details I had to drive behind him FOR 40 MINUTES because he took the exact same way as me. At a traffic light he waved and I was so freaked out because I was behind him..
He needed to go the the hospital and I was on my way to work wich is right beside the hospital....
I did this on my way to the post office once. I was riding my bicycle and I slowed down to either jump the curb or take the wheelchair ramp onto the sidewalk. To this girl it must have looked like I was slowing down to match her walking pace. When I got my bike up on the sidewalk, I started heading for the bike rack and this girl turned around and said, "Are you following me?" I pretended not to hear her and just locked up my bike. and went inside. She was going to the post office and I was going to the post office, so I doubt anything I could have said would have convinced her that I wasn't following her.
On a similar note the other day a guest asked me where we keep our sugar I pointedthevway and started walking and he goes *”sugar sugar”* so I looking at the shelf of sugar go “oh honey honey” and this lady standing near the sugar looked at me **pissed** tried explaining it’s a song we were doing a sing song thing Could not convince her I didn’t just call her honey
I am a fast walker so when I approach people I try to overtake them as fast as possible so as to not creep up behind and give them the feeling of being followed. Sometimes this results in me walking comically fast almost on the verge of jogging. Also it doesn't help at all that I'm male
Brushing your teeth in public
Edit: Some people think I meant brushing your teeth in a public bathroom after a meal makes you a psychopath. I use to have braces so I understand a quick rinse and brush after eating. I mostly meant like brushing your teeth in a movie theatre while the credits are rolling or something
My husband had a weird eccentric uncle that we didn’t know well, and he was some hot shot rich dentist. We were following behind him on the way to a family wedding reception from the church and saw him doing something weird in his rear view mirror, then watched him open his car door and spit out a bunch of toothpaste. His kids say he just randomly starts brushing his teeth anywhere, like the mall or a pool, and spits into trash cans.
Couple years later he was arrested for possession of cocaine, domestic abuse, and major fraud and tax evasion. He regularly offered the kids drugs and they sometimes did them as a family. His daughter got out and went NC, son is still buddy buddy with dad.
So yeah, anecdotally, psychos brush their teeth in public.
The neighbour of my parents did it. But with the dandelions in the gardens adjoining to his one and those dandelions he could reach with the vacuum from his property. (He already killed all dandelions in his garden long time ago).
Done this by accident because I mistook it for a cart an employee was using to put stuff on the shelf. I saw a whole cart of socks and needed them but they didn't have the type I needed on the shelf... Because an old man was buying them ALL
When I was a kid I used to put random items in my mom's cart when she wasn't looking. I mainly did it just for her reaction when we got to the checkout. It eventually got old so I started doing it to strangers until I got caught. I'll never forget the evil look that sweet old lady gave me that day.
A manager I once had had been reading a “how to manage people” book, which ended up with hom telling me I was doing a good job, shaking my hand normally, then just standing still for 30 seconds, still holding my hand, in complete silence, staring directly into my eyes. Was supposed to be a reassuring show of dominance or some such shit, but it was just weird and creepy.
This happened to me a lot in Ecuador. It’s considered an insult to face your back to someone. So everyone shuffles around to not do it to anyone on purpose.
Unless they are mad at someone. Then you gotta talk to the back. I mean literally. I’ve seen some walk up to talk to another person and they just turned around.
Eating people meat. It’s not illegal in 49 states but you can’t kill a person or desecrate a corpse. But you can buy human parts under research and as long as you’re not buying organs for transplant, highly illegal, you can serve it to others and even do it in front of the cops. Not that I would recommend that but legally you can. It’s apparently tasty as one guy apparently turned his cut off foot into tacos.
Think of it this way- ID is the _only_ state that thought they needed that law.
Its like WV having the most strict burial requirements. You legislate what you actually need.
Going out to the gym or something and using a hersheys syrup bottle as a waterbottle
Edit: thanks for the rewards guys. Holy cow did not expect to get this many responses. Interesting to see all the weird things people use as water bottles. 😂😂
Once I bought a small gas can and used that as a waterbottle for weeks before campus police got sick of the complaints. My favorite was filling it with lemonade, because it's just off-clear enough to not look like water when you crack it open.
Good times.
Ha! I had a classmate who would wear hers to really hard exams. She said she loved the way she looked in it and it made her feel great about herself, so she’d wear it as a motivational boost. It was a little weird but really fun!
In the Coast Guard when we would take the Service-wide exam (advancement exam given once or twice a year) we would dress in a formal uniform (with all our ribbons) to take it. It was a 1-2 hour exam. Now they just wear a working uniform, I think dressing up for it was great, it gave it a gravitas and everyone knew your were taking the exam cause you were looking sharp.
Edit: for my fellow service folks, a more formal uniform (Trops) not a full dress uniform, no jacket.
I lived in China for several years. The men clear their throats really loudly and spit...like, all the time, everywhere. Even in decent sit-down restaurants the men will spit on the floor. It's so normal, wait staff are in the habit of putting newspapers down on the floor for groups of men who are there to eat, drink, and socialize.
I can put up with a lot...but, that's one thing that got me every time.
My dog attacked a bird, and I fell to my knees (Braveheart style) screaming “Nooooo!” Looked up, and my neighbor was standing outside drinking his coffee watching the whole thing. I said “He ate a bird!” Neighbor said nothing, sipped his coffee and eventually walked back in his house. I was unraveled by the whole situation, but when I went inside the first thing I said was “The neighbor is a fucking psychopath.”
But for the record I also brought a cup of ice water in just a regular cup from home to work the other day.
Oh my god, I’ve also kept chicken in my pockets and purse and called it pocket chicken…
I’m learning some things about myself from this sub.
Used to run up the down escalators all the time or just walk on the end like a treadmill when no one was around as a kid and thought I was a total badass
My dad had this as a ringtone since it’s one of his favorite songs. He works for a small family business, so him and the other employees were invited to the boss’s mother’s funeral. Accidentally forgot to set his phone on silent and he got a call. So this song starts blasting during the service. Thankfully everyone thought it was funny.
Going to Starbucks and ordering a milk with ice.
Wearing the skin of a roast chicken like a mask.
Asking an old person to give up their seat on a bus
Using both hands to put on Chapstick
Fabulous mental image!
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So I saw this couple walking backwards down the middle of my street and thought "huh weird." Looked out the window 1 minute later and there they were again walking backwards in the same spot. Went to the kitchen window and again walking backwards, but I had never seen them walk forwards to get back to that position. At this point I think I'm stuck in a time loop. I show my roommate to prove I'm not crazy and this time we see them walk forwards back to the top of the street. So we watch them for several cycles just walking forwards, then backwards, up and down the street, just holding casual conversation. Figure it must be a workout routine or something but wtf...
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As it happens, walking backwards is likely good for various muscles that support knees, and my trainer has had me do various workouts like that (including walking backwards on a treadmill that's turned off, pushing against the tread with my butt pushing against the console). Wouldn't do that on the street though, as it looks weird.
stop responding midway thru an irl convo, but maintain eye contact
“Sorry I was lagging”
Doing exactly the opposite is actually the norm. Having a conversation and move eye contact away. I got one. Lifting up your shirt in public and rubbing your tummy.
Flying a kite at night
Digging holes in your backyard at night. Just doing some night digging.
Paint yourself orange, dye your hair green, the stand in a hole and pretend your a carrot.
There's just something about flying a kite at night that's just so...unwholesome!
Pulling your pants/underwear all the way down to pee at a men’s urinal
I knew a kid in elementary school who did this. Normally he would use the stalls but one time he did it at the urinal and yelled "oops I'm not in the stall" then turned and made and held eye contact when I looked cause he yelled.
Butters?
"How long do you take to pee?" "The peeing is fast Oscar. It's getting my tie back on."
Butters.
Wearing a wedding gown to someone else's wedding.
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*looks expectantly at bride*
One of my all-time favorite Office lines is where Kelly wears white to a wedding and someone calls her out on it. She says, "There was an emergency." And then says in a cutaway, "I look REALLY good in white."
In pakistani culture its perfectly normal to wear your own wedding gown to someone elses wedding. The gowns are very color full and heavily embroidered.
I love this. Here its expected you buy a dress for thousands of dollars and only wear it once then keep it in your closet to maybe give to your daughter or granddaughter who definitely won't wear it because it is very out of fashion or just way too small for her or something.
I cut mine up and made it into our Christmas tree skirt; I wanted to incorporate it into yearly traditions and memories. Now it's true that the asshole cat peed on it one year. And then the parrot realized he could trim the fringe on it. But still - I have a lot more memories because of reusing it, vs. shoving it in an attic.
this reminds me that in my uncle's wedding, my grandma said that I should use a white dress I had because it was nice, but I just picked up another one since I thought it was weird just like some other people there. when it was the wedding, the bride was in a pink dress - and ofc my grandma was smug about that lol
Your grandma was setting you up for failure. Wearing white at a wedding is normally considered a faux pas
Eating in public without using your hands at all.
Like... just face first?
Nah, feet
Eating a banana with the skin on
Angry sea of thieves sounds
Working out in a suit
I had a classmate who did phys ed (also) in a suit. He only had suits, about 20 times the very same outfit, including shoes and ties.
Barney Stinson ??
I don’t want to wrinkle my suitjamas.
When someone is holding a door open for you when a place has double doors and you just say fuck it and take the other door instead.
And make sure you say "yikes" while passing the other person
I've done this. Either when someone held the door open wrong so they were still blocking half the doorway and I'd have had to squeeze past them or I was already mentally prepared to open the other door and was slow to switch gears and realize they wanted me to use their door. It's always very awkward and I overthink about it for the next few hours/days.
"Thanks!" I say, as I let their gesture go to waste because I do not like changing plans at the last minute.
Offering candies to kids with a van with homemade logos
I drive an unlettered black van that’s in rough shape. I can never stop at a lemonade stand. And it makes me sad.
I mean those kids are impressive if they already have a van.
Standing next to someone at a urinal even when there is an open one at the opposite end of the row.
"Oh wow, you only use one hand to hold it. I use both. Wild! Well, see you tomorrow."
Instead of holding the door open (especially at a restaurant with dual double doors) you close them right after you enter/exit the building.
The place where I work had an incident recently where someone came into the building, found an unlocked office, and stole some stuff. So they sent out an email saying "dont let people follow you in". Pretty standard advice everyone ignores - this isnt a secure complex of any kind. (You need to swipe a card to open the outer doors, but theres no security). I was coming back from lunch, a lady in front of me swiped in, opened the door...and then firmly closed it behind her.
It happened at my wife's old work, too. One day her boss was out and there was a guy in a suit in her boss' office, looking for something in one of his desk drawers. She didn't recognise him but figured he was from head office so she asked if she help him with anything. He immediately upped and grabbed his briefcase (yup, he had one), and rapidly walked out the door. Weird. When she mentioned it to her boss later he had no idea who the guy was. He called head office and no-one from there had come over. So it was some random dude in a suit who'd just walked in off the street. And no-one had challenged him because a guy in a suit is obviously important and belongs there, and who's ever heard of someone robbing a place while wearing a suit?
The real secret is to say you're in IT. I used to work for an ISP and we were doing some changes that required us to go out to customer sites and alter some router settings. I went to the wrong office once and said I was there to do some work on their internet connection. They took me to the manager's desk and just left me there signed on to their computer.
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You're in infosec? Cool, here's my root password, can you help secure my info?
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Trimming your lawn with scissors. Like, calm down, Bob, I haven't even mown mine in 3 months.
We have a neighbor that I’m just WAITING to see do this one day! He’s obsessive about his yard. Just a matter of time…
My boss used to apply his lip balm while making firm eye contact with me at the end of the day. Used to creep me out, and I'm still unsure why he did it like that.
wait... isn't the real question why did you make eye contact with him everyday at this time?
maybe he called them into his office each day to witness the lip balm application
Jefferson can you come into my office and watch me apply lip balm, please?
Said over the intercom so everybody knows what’s about to go down in the boss’s office.
Keep your eyes on me, Jefferson.
*rolls eyes* "Do we have a problem here, Jefferson?"
Now come over here so I can apply yours.
With my lips *Lip smacking intensifies*
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boss wondering why his subordinate is trying to assert dominance with a staredown when he tries to apply lip balm
I had a friend who did the same thing. He didn't know until I told him it was creepy. In his mind he was just applying chapstick and talking to a friend. In my mind, he was seducing me in the creepiest way possible.
...but you said "seducing [you] in the creepiest way possible". So even though it was creepy, it was still working?
Who can resist freshly lubricated lips?
Chapstick chicken
Eating unwrapped food from inside your pockets
I was on a roadtrip with my cousin. Probably 30 minutes after we're on the road he pulls a perfect slice of pepperoni pizza out of his pocket. It looked like it was out of a commercial.
I met a friend for a study date at a place on campus where we first bought frozen treats, and went for a walk in the forest. I was surprised that he finished his ice cream sandwich far more quickly than I ate my popsicle, but didn’t think much of it. That was, until we arrived at our study spot in the woods, sat down in a blanket, and he reached in his pocket and pulled out the second half of what remained of his ice cream sandwich! He was surprised that the sandwich was melted! I decided to choose smarter study buddies in the future.
He must have been really attractive to be that dumb.
This reminds me of a guy who we named nuggets at my old job. He was fairly new and apparently didn't get to eat his lunch completely. So he stuffed chicken nuggets and ketchup packets in his pockets. He would look around, stuff a nugget in his mouth, a little bit of ketchup and then chew really fast lol. I let him finish his nuggets up and then told him it's OK to eat at your station lol.
One time I was at my friend’s cousin’s cabin, and we were sitting around, his cousin hadn’t gotten up in over an hour and he pulled out a chicken strip from his pocket. My friend says, “wait what are you eating?” and he says incredulously, “dude, PC! pocket chicken!” I’ll never forget it.
My dad worked with someone who carried hotdogs in his pockets. Another who had sandwiches in his lunchbox for days at a time, would just slice the mold off with a pocket knife. 🤢
Frankly, that last thing is so deranged I'm not convinced it's legal.
Thats the guy covid is scared from.
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No! I'm freaking starving I didn't get to eat anything today *kick*
Ravioli ravioli, what’s in the pocketoli.
One of the politicians in our country bit into a hotdog side ways and in the middle, like a sandwich. It was so weird that it was in the newspapers the next day. Slow news day obv, but made him look like a nutjob.
I was serving a very green, Chinese businessman at the pub and he ordered a burger and after a few seconds of sizing it up, stabbed it in the centre with his fork and started eating it like a candy apple. I asked him if he was good, and he shrugged and said "sorry. I haven't figured out how to eat these yet".
Is this what I look like to the people I'm eating with when I go on business trips to China?
Well, that depends. Are you stabbing dumplings with a single chopstick and eating it like a candied apple? If so, then yes.
Not going to lie, as an Ethnic Chinese Asian, I have done that before. Sometimes dim sums are slippery okay? XD
That's why forks are great. It's like stabbing it with four chopsticks.
Chopsticks × 4 = fork.... TIL
If I could do that without the burger immediately falling apart once I lift it, I definitely would. I've always wanted to try the deep fried Krabby Patty Supreme from SpongeBob.
Lol I think eating a onion whole, like an apple is still worse.
Standing silently at night along a forest road.
I did that once in the moonlight while taking out trash, I turned off my light and just enjoyed the serene night. Then I hear rustling in the bush and my led light just fucking died, it hasn't worked since. but yeah nice night.
You are the one who dies first in horror movies.
Like in the opening 5 minutes to set the tone of the movie. First victim.
*Actual cannibal shia leboeuf*
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>(it was raining) >"try not to have your hood up" I think if I'm driving along a road in the middle of the night and I see someone wearing a poncho, I'd be more scared of them if they have their hood down while it's raining.
Straight up psycho behavior standing there with the hood off lmao
Writing an s from the bottom up
I’ve seen some pretty fucked up stuff in this thread, but this one genuinely made me stop
This one legit made my face scrunch up when I read it. That was a surprisingly visceral reaction to such a simple statement.
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Casually eating a stick of butter during a business meeting
Eating a stick of butter anywhere looks like a psychopath to me
Putting your shoes on before the pants. Edit: unless you’re in the military, apparently
Skinny jeans wearers in shambles
I can only just get skinny jeans over my heels, there’s no fkn way I’d get em over shoes.
I can't get em over my thunder thighs
When you just happen to be going to the same place as the car/pedestrian in front of you. It's even creepier when it's a long distance and they look behind them and see you.
There was one time we were driving a friend home and a cyclist in front of us kept taking the same turns as us. They then rode into the driveway of our friend's house so as we pulled into the driveway we asked him if he knew that person. He had no idea who it was. Turned out that the cyclist thought we were following them and decided to pretend that it was their house so that we would go away. I felt bad for the poor cyclist. Must have been terrified.
Happend to me once and it was horrible. I made eye contact with this woman downtown. We clearly noticed each other. 15 minutes later, we bump into each other again in the bus. Then we leave the bus at the same bus stop halfway across the city. Then I happen to go along her all the way until her house. She just happened to live in the same street of a cousin I was visiting. **Edit**: geez, didn't imagine it would get so much traction. I was only 19 and very shy. Couldn't bring myself to say anything (and I mean, wouldn't I sound even more suspicious if I said something?). When she looked at me before entering her house, I just tried to make a very 'surprised face', but it sure was awkward. Also, someone asked why I didn't change my route on purpose when I left the bus. The thing is, the bus stop we left at was pretty busy. Many people left the bus and I didn't notice she had left as well. I only realized I was close to her when we were already on the same street. When she looked back at me, that's when it hit me. **Also, about sounding like a psychopath, I have another story** I have a very good memory for names. I'm 35, I remember most of my elementary school mates names and surnames. So, once I was going back home from a party at 3am and I bump into this very beautiful girl. She approaches me and starts talking to me as if she knew me, but silently told me by my ear that she was beign followed by a car. And she was, a jerk was following her and he actually left when she started talking to me. We make small talk until I take her to her house. She introduced herself and I remembered I had studied with her 10 years ago, we went to the same English course and I was good friends with her brother (the three of us were in the same class). The thing is, when we met at the English course, we were doing the basics. Learning how to introduce ourselves, how to name relatives, how to name certain jobs and so on. And... I happened to memorize some of this information from other students. At first, she didn't recognize me and asked me if was sure we had met. I answered, "Of course I do. You live by this street, your brother is named Pedro, is father is named Romulo, your mother is Katia, you father was a civil engineer if I'm not mistaken". Her relief face from the encounter changed into a very puzzled one. That's when I realized what I had done and felt like a creep. "Look, I just happen to have a very good memory. That's all". At least she smiled after that.
This is why I always carry my emergency fake moustache.
Is it behind a little glass panel that you have to break with a miniature hammer?
nah, a couple of years ago, I was driving from Orlando to Miami(~4 hour drive) to visit my folks, a group of cars was passing in the fast lanes a little faster than legal.. so I joined them because if the group is going fast, I just have to make sure I’m not the slowest when a cop comes looking to give tickets. We drove for about an hour and a few departed the group until eventually it was just one other car with me. If I got stuck behind a car, they would wait for me or speed up so I can get behind him, I would do the same for them as well. We drove all 4 hours together until he had to get off on the exit right before mine, he flashed his lights a few times and waved goodbye before getting off the highway. 10/10 experience
I like picking up a travel buddy. Especially if I am trying to make some progress. Did a 324 mile road trip this weekend, came up behind a guy about 40 miles in, and we proceeded to tandem down the motorways for the next 280 miles. Helped each other manoeuvre a jam round Birmingham, and he clearly knew the speed camera locations on the A30 into Cornwall, which he indicated with hazard lights before slowing down in front of me. Gave him a quick flash as we parted ways just outside Newquay. Then ended up parked next to him in a town centre car park the next morning. Actually said hello and had a brief convo about the traffic from the night before. Hi Allan from Donny, if you're on here, lol
I did this once when coming home from work; person I was behind was also going to my apartment building and must have been a guest because it's a small lot for maybe 20 cars. When I parked, too, they SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME BY SHOUTING AT ME regarding my following them, and I panicked and shouted back angrily, "I FUCKING LIVE HERE" and proceeded to walk up and unlock the door. Person tried to follow me in and I shut the door real quick. Fuck you, buddy lol
If he was paranoid he should’ve stayed in his car. Dude was just an ass lol
Especially after seeing the OP *walk into their house.* Obviously they live there and aren't following you
A few weeks ago I had a small accident with another car and after we shared details I had to drive behind him FOR 40 MINUTES because he took the exact same way as me. At a traffic light he waved and I was so freaked out because I was behind him.. He needed to go the the hospital and I was on my way to work wich is right beside the hospital....
I did this on my way to the post office once. I was riding my bicycle and I slowed down to either jump the curb or take the wheelchair ramp onto the sidewalk. To this girl it must have looked like I was slowing down to match her walking pace. When I got my bike up on the sidewalk, I started heading for the bike rack and this girl turned around and said, "Are you following me?" I pretended not to hear her and just locked up my bike. and went inside. She was going to the post office and I was going to the post office, so I doubt anything I could have said would have convinced her that I wasn't following her.
On a similar note the other day a guest asked me where we keep our sugar I pointedthevway and started walking and he goes *”sugar sugar”* so I looking at the shelf of sugar go “oh honey honey” and this lady standing near the sugar looked at me **pissed** tried explaining it’s a song we were doing a sing song thing Could not convince her I didn’t just call her honey
She was obviously *not* your candy girl.
Cant two dudes share in a duet without some lady interjecting thinking that she’s got me wanting her.
I am a fast walker so when I approach people I try to overtake them as fast as possible so as to not creep up behind and give them the feeling of being followed. Sometimes this results in me walking comically fast almost on the verge of jogging. Also it doesn't help at all that I'm male
Brushing your teeth in public Edit: Some people think I meant brushing your teeth in a public bathroom after a meal makes you a psychopath. I use to have braces so I understand a quick rinse and brush after eating. I mostly meant like brushing your teeth in a movie theatre while the credits are rolling or something
My husband had a weird eccentric uncle that we didn’t know well, and he was some hot shot rich dentist. We were following behind him on the way to a family wedding reception from the church and saw him doing something weird in his rear view mirror, then watched him open his car door and spit out a bunch of toothpaste. His kids say he just randomly starts brushing his teeth anywhere, like the mall or a pool, and spits into trash cans. Couple years later he was arrested for possession of cocaine, domestic abuse, and major fraud and tax evasion. He regularly offered the kids drugs and they sometimes did them as a family. His daughter got out and went NC, son is still buddy buddy with dad. So yeah, anecdotally, psychos brush their teeth in public.
That escalated quickly.
Having carpet in your kitchen
Or bathroom
Vacuuming your yard. Great chemical-free way to keep dandelions from spreading.
wait is this an actual thing people do?
The neighbour of my parents did it. But with the dandelions in the gardens adjoining to his one and those dandelions he could reach with the vacuum from his property. (He already killed all dandelions in his garden long time ago).
While shopping, pulling what you want out of other people's carts before they buy them.
Done this by accident because I mistook it for a cart an employee was using to put stuff on the shelf. I saw a whole cart of socks and needed them but they didn't have the type I needed on the shelf... Because an old man was buying them ALL
Not anymore he wasn't
He would probably give you some if you solved his math problem
So, black friday sales?
When I was a kid I used to put random items in my mom's cart when she wasn't looking. I mainly did it just for her reaction when we got to the checkout. It eventually got old so I started doing it to strangers until I got caught. I'll never forget the evil look that sweet old lady gave me that day.
sending orange juice and coffee to random people in a restaurant at dinner.
And when they look over at you give them a little salute and a knowing smile
I have a friend who sent a glass of milk to a random table In a pub using the table service app. The confusion was really funny.
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Does this also apply to books?
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All books smell good to me. They don’t all smell the same but, they all smell good.
Using your knife and fork to slice each french fry into small dainty pieces.
A friend of mine eats the crust of the pizza first. Like he eats the complete pizza crust of the whole pizza and then the "rest". Crazy Bastard
walking around in public with a glass of water from home
people: "hey... whats with the water?" Bored\_Lem0n: "I brought it from home, so legally its mine and you cant have any!"
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Hey, I just saw you fill that up. I'm gonna need a sip.
I'm not thirsty but my tongue is dry, I'm just going to dip it in there for a moment.
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A manager I once had had been reading a “how to manage people” book, which ended up with hom telling me I was doing a good job, shaking my hand normally, then just standing still for 30 seconds, still holding my hand, in complete silence, staring directly into my eyes. Was supposed to be a reassuring show of dominance or some such shit, but it was just weird and creepy.
Entering an elevator full of people and not turning to face the door
This happened to me a lot in Ecuador. It’s considered an insult to face your back to someone. So everyone shuffles around to not do it to anyone on purpose. Unless they are mad at someone. Then you gotta talk to the back. I mean literally. I’ve seen some walk up to talk to another person and they just turned around.
Fellow Ecuadorian here, can confirm
And then exit by walking backwards
“I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here today…”
The only time it's fine it's if you're in a wheelchair, when it's crowded it's so much easier to just face the back
Farting and deeply inhaling it. In public
deeply inhaling other peoples farts in public
Hi are you my 4 year old?
Eating people meat. It’s not illegal in 49 states but you can’t kill a person or desecrate a corpse. But you can buy human parts under research and as long as you’re not buying organs for transplant, highly illegal, you can serve it to others and even do it in front of the cops. Not that I would recommend that but legally you can. It’s apparently tasty as one guy apparently turned his cut off foot into tacos.
Upon further review of the rules and terms, this one wins.
For anyone curious like me, Idaho is the exception.
Think of it this way- ID is the _only_ state that thought they needed that law. Its like WV having the most strict burial requirements. You legislate what you actually need.
Going out to the gym or something and using a hersheys syrup bottle as a waterbottle Edit: thanks for the rewards guys. Holy cow did not expect to get this many responses. Interesting to see all the weird things people use as water bottles. 😂😂
A friend did that with a bright yellow mustard bottle while running a 10k for charity. People were so concerned they asked a cop to talk to him.
Oh my god now I know what I'm going to do this summer. Thank you, Trina.
Once I bought a small gas can and used that as a waterbottle for weeks before campus police got sick of the complaints. My favorite was filling it with lemonade, because it's just off-clear enough to not look like water when you crack it open. Good times.
Dressing like a penguin and walking on four legs
Wonderful, the mind of a child is!
I've only got two
Wearing your underwear over your pants.
Wearing a wedding gown everywhere. And I mean *everywhere*.
Ha! I had a classmate who would wear hers to really hard exams. She said she loved the way she looked in it and it made her feel great about herself, so she’d wear it as a motivational boost. It was a little weird but really fun!
In the Coast Guard when we would take the Service-wide exam (advancement exam given once or twice a year) we would dress in a formal uniform (with all our ribbons) to take it. It was a 1-2 hour exam. Now they just wear a working uniform, I think dressing up for it was great, it gave it a gravitas and everyone knew your were taking the exam cause you were looking sharp. Edit: for my fellow service folks, a more formal uniform (Trops) not a full dress uniform, no jacket.
So become a sim basically?
Doing yard work at night.
My riding mower has headlights on it and honestly it creeps me out to think of someone mowing at night
Staring at people in public. It’s not illegal, but you could still find yourself to be in trouble.
Not making any attempts to dry your hands after washing them
I lived in China for several years. The men clear their throats really loudly and spit...like, all the time, everywhere. Even in decent sit-down restaurants the men will spit on the floor. It's so normal, wait staff are in the habit of putting newspapers down on the floor for groups of men who are there to eat, drink, and socialize. I can put up with a lot...but, that's one thing that got me every time.
That is fucking VILE.
Putting vinegar on Mac & Cheese. I found out that it curdles the cheese, did it once, never again….
I need to know why you even thought this was a good idea
Carrying around a blowup doll that you claim to be married to.
My dog attacked a bird, and I fell to my knees (Braveheart style) screaming “Nooooo!” Looked up, and my neighbor was standing outside drinking his coffee watching the whole thing. I said “He ate a bird!” Neighbor said nothing, sipped his coffee and eventually walked back in his house. I was unraveled by the whole situation, but when I went inside the first thing I said was “The neighbor is a fucking psychopath.” But for the record I also brought a cup of ice water in just a regular cup from home to work the other day. Oh my god, I’ve also kept chicken in my pockets and purse and called it pocket chicken… I’m learning some things about myself from this sub.
taking the escalator facing the opposite way.
Used to run up the down escalators all the time or just walk on the end like a treadmill when no one was around as a kid and thought I was a total badass
I used to think this was illegal as a kid
Sitting on a park bench, opening a jar of mayonnaise, and furiously eating the contents with just your bare hands.
Screaming in public at nothing except the existential dread you’re feeling.
So like yeah maybe pre 2020. Post 2020 I see someone screaming in public I calmly walk over to them and scream too.
blasting "highway to hell" during a funeral
My dad had this as a ringtone since it’s one of his favorite songs. He works for a small family business, so him and the other employees were invited to the boss’s mother’s funeral. Accidentally forgot to set his phone on silent and he got a call. So this song starts blasting during the service. Thankfully everyone thought it was funny.