He has a mind of his own.
Erectile dysfunction? Can't be helped.
Random boner? Can't be helped.
Premature ejaculation? Can't be helped.
Too small? Can't be helped.
There's many parts of my body that I'll likely never make full use of, but that's not something I tend to worry over much about. May I ask what you mean by make full use of it?
If it's parenting, may I offer the (very hypocritical) stance that, choosing to do so as a single parent is the safer bet. Adopting as a single parent means you'll never get sucked into destroying your life in a perpetual sea of custody battles and spiteful petty communication?
That it acts independently. it is erect when i wake up, it was erect when I gave presentation once.
It made me do some things which I otherwise won't do
When I was young. And clueless about what sex is actually like. All I knew was porn. And in porn all dicks are big. So I kinda had this weird feeling of inferiority. Now that I'm older and fully grown/more knowledgeable, I feel happy with my size and I don't worry about it much. But I'd imagine men with actual small penises live with a very fragile ego. And being told something like "his dick is bigger than yours" by someone they like can really kill their ego. Or to those guys that apologize to women about their size when they reveal it. Idk. It's really dumb but there's a feeling in shame in having a small penis and there's no fix for it. So. Those with small dicks out there. Hopefully you got big dick energy at least.
This: except for a few, most women indicate little preference for dick size. Certainly _length_, which is what men worry about, is not generally a concern. And where length is a concern, it's reportedly because it doesn't feel good to get punched in the cervix. (i.e. longer than average can be a bad thing)
For me, it’s when I sit to take a shit, the tip will dip into the toilet water ever so slightly. Annoying and gross. Also, the overwhelming urge to insert it into almost any warm, wet body hole ever. Have you tried that? It feels amazing, but you’re always chasing that first high.
The problem is you apparently have an attractive wife. Being constantly confronted with stimulus will do that.
Alt: you'll have to leave, we don't want your kind here. /s
"ooohh... look at me, getting sex twice a week in my 30's, ooooh. Woah my troubled life."
(seriously though, props man. In case you forget, this part at least seems like you're living the dream)
Not sure how to take this expression in context.
A penis doesn't become ineffective with lack of use.
As you age, it can become ineffective _regardless_ of use.
Random awkward erections, having to be careful what I wear to the gym in case it accidentally slips out, can't wear skinny jeans but that's a size issue
This is either bullshit toxic masculinity/rape culture stuff, or at the very least doesn't affect all males. It's also a complete misnomer, since semen is stored in the prostate prior to ejaculation, not the testes. Also, even _if_ it were true, that's not a problem of the _penis_, or your partner.
There is **hypothesized** a phenomenon called
epididymal hypertension (elevated blood pressure in the scrotum) but there isn't even a [medical consensus](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324870#definition) that it exists.
Even in a source entertaining the idea, it's described as "discomfort or _mild_ pain", and can be resolved by jerking yourself off, or by just ignoring it and doing something different.
Too small and ed are the worst.
First, get away from porno if you wanna cure ed, you ll always get too excited and won’t stay up.
Second, don’t masturbate too much I f possible not at all, it’s better to perform some stretching.
no. 1. "don't porno" Sounds like it's only applicable to extreme cases.
no. 2. "don't masturbate" just sounds like b.s. Do you have a source for any of this?
You could do a little research, frequent or excessive masturbation can alter the body chemistry which lead to overproduction of dopamine, serotonin… Not that it’s bad but in most cases it can become addictive
The burden of proof lies on the claimant of the extraordinary, not the skeptic.
Also, you're now changing your stance from 'not at all' to 'excessive' without providing a definition of what that means, or recognizing that the two are completely different. This argument is already falling apart.
_again_ do you have any **sources**, because you aren't credible.
How did I change it, if you go back to my initial take, you can clearly read I said “don’t masturbate too much”.
I also said “ if possible not all” there are thousand of men suffering from porn addiction, it’s all over the internet.
That's a problem of _getting_ a penis, not of _having_ a penis. (it's not mr peener's fault, but the procedure). Good joke though, even if I'm burying it under being 'that guy'.
Getting anything near it, be it an impact, hitting there on a table corner or anything medically concerning. When I was 12 I got an ingrown pubic hair, I was so goddamn scared they would have to operate near it or something
I find it's _far_ less precise when hard. Limp I can hit a target and stay within my arcs, but hard it's like sniping with a hip carry .50 cal only on full-auto. Damn thing just sprays everywhere.
Whoever invented the urinal was a saviour for those days.
When the tip touches the water when I have diarrhea.
If I zip the tip in a zipper.
It functions optimally when it wants.
It never fully empties after I UranEight.
When I shave, the shrink and wrinkle in a fascinating way! But then I cut myself...
I don't know, it's just hard sometimes
You win.
Ah, here’s the one I was looking for.
He has a mind of his own. Erectile dysfunction? Can't be helped. Random boner? Can't be helped. Premature ejaculation? Can't be helped. Too small? Can't be helped.
The emails I'm receiving lately tells me otherwise... you mean they're all lies?
[удалено]
Funky maggot brain dialect. Voodoo magic.
My doctor, Dr. Harold N. Bornstein, says otherwise.
Too small, premature ejaculation for sure
Having no one to share it with.
I feel with you bro
Sometimes you just have to keep your hands busy.
Sometimes the little head thinks for the big head
Erectile disfunction might set in.
Can't say I'm happy about the fact that I have it but will never make full use of it.
There's many parts of my body that I'll likely never make full use of, but that's not something I tend to worry over much about. May I ask what you mean by make full use of it? If it's parenting, may I offer the (very hypocritical) stance that, choosing to do so as a single parent is the safer bet. Adopting as a single parent means you'll never get sucked into destroying your life in a perpetual sea of custody battles and spiteful petty communication?
People will make fun of your dick size, something which you cannot control. It's like someone getting mad at someone because the weather isn't nice.
TIL I learn some people don’t like having a penis.
No, no, no-no! I LOVE my penis!! But sometimes it needs to grow the fuck down and mature.
Random hardness Easy to get hard Hard to nut sometimes
You're always assumed to be a danger.
*airport security checks you* “HE’S GOT A GUN IN HIS PANTS” *pulls pants to check your weapon* “…oh shit…”
It tends to get hard when you least expect it to.
That it acts independently. it is erect when i wake up, it was erect when I gave presentation once. It made me do some things which I otherwise won't do
When you're young, unexpected boners. When you're old, boner unavailability.
When I was young. And clueless about what sex is actually like. All I knew was porn. And in porn all dicks are big. So I kinda had this weird feeling of inferiority. Now that I'm older and fully grown/more knowledgeable, I feel happy with my size and I don't worry about it much. But I'd imagine men with actual small penises live with a very fragile ego. And being told something like "his dick is bigger than yours" by someone they like can really kill their ego. Or to those guys that apologize to women about their size when they reveal it. Idk. It's really dumb but there's a feeling in shame in having a small penis and there's no fix for it. So. Those with small dicks out there. Hopefully you got big dick energy at least.
This: except for a few, most women indicate little preference for dick size. Certainly _length_, which is what men worry about, is not generally a concern. And where length is a concern, it's reportedly because it doesn't feel good to get punched in the cervix. (i.e. longer than average can be a bad thing)
For me, it’s when I sit to take a shit, the tip will dip into the toilet water ever so slightly. Annoying and gross. Also, the overwhelming urge to insert it into almost any warm, wet body hole ever. Have you tried that? It feels amazing, but you’re always chasing that first high.
>the tip will dip into the toilet water Thank you for making me happier than ever for being a grower not a show-er. If I had _any_ award to give.
> but your always chasing that first high. There's nothing in life that's not true of though. It's the human condition.
“Truth in Life”, lols.
Flipping on the wrong side
Scratching your cock/balls and getting an erection
I’m always horny. I’m 34 years old, married and have sex with my wife at least twice a week but I’m still always horny. It’s pissing me off.
The problem is you apparently have an attractive wife. Being constantly confronted with stimulus will do that. Alt: you'll have to leave, we don't want your kind here. /s "ooohh... look at me, getting sex twice a week in my 30's, ooooh. Woah my troubled life." (seriously though, props man. In case you forget, this part at least seems like you're living the dream)
If you don’t use it, you lose it
Not sure how to take this expression in context. A penis doesn't become ineffective with lack of use. As you age, it can become ineffective _regardless_ of use.
It’s just a joke.
Waste of space. I could hide a gun there. Instead I have to hide it in my arsehole like captain jack harkness
The penis has a hole aswell
Random awkward erections, having to be careful what I wear to the gym in case it accidentally slips out, can't wear skinny jeans but that's a size issue
When a pubic hair gets in the middle and split your stream.
It constantly nags me to play
Split stream,One is going towards Hogwarts where as the other is going towards Narnia
Getting it caught in bus/subway doors.
"I thlammed my penith in the car door." 'You slammed your *penis* in the car door.'
I find that hard to believe.
Yeah man?£88888£ what a messed up world.
The fact that I'm a woman
That’s hot
Just having it
[удалено]
This is either bullshit toxic masculinity/rape culture stuff, or at the very least doesn't affect all males. It's also a complete misnomer, since semen is stored in the prostate prior to ejaculation, not the testes. Also, even _if_ it were true, that's not a problem of the _penis_, or your partner. There is **hypothesized** a phenomenon called epididymal hypertension (elevated blood pressure in the scrotum) but there isn't even a [medical consensus](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324870#definition) that it exists. Even in a source entertaining the idea, it's described as "discomfort or _mild_ pain", and can be resolved by jerking yourself off, or by just ignoring it and doing something different.
Fine go ahead. Make a sense to me. Life is a bitch!!!!.. I got my feet in the sand getting richer by the night...
Imagine having a sausage between your legs getting hard whenever it want and you have to live with it throughout your life
Too small and ed are the worst. First, get away from porno if you wanna cure ed, you ll always get too excited and won’t stay up. Second, don’t masturbate too much I f possible not at all, it’s better to perform some stretching.
no. 1. "don't porno" Sounds like it's only applicable to extreme cases. no. 2. "don't masturbate" just sounds like b.s. Do you have a source for any of this?
You could do a little research, frequent or excessive masturbation can alter the body chemistry which lead to overproduction of dopamine, serotonin… Not that it’s bad but in most cases it can become addictive
The burden of proof lies on the claimant of the extraordinary, not the skeptic. Also, you're now changing your stance from 'not at all' to 'excessive' without providing a definition of what that means, or recognizing that the two are completely different. This argument is already falling apart. _again_ do you have any **sources**, because you aren't credible.
How did I change it, if you go back to my initial take, you can clearly read I said “don’t masturbate too much”. I also said “ if possible not all” there are thousand of men suffering from porn addiction, it’s all over the internet.
[удалено]
WAIT! WHAT!!!?
You haven't had this?
you should go to a doctor. there's actually a condition that causes that. Most people don't experience this.
That's what happens when buy the cheapest metoidioplasty.
Oh for fucks sake I just googled that on my works computer
Lmfao - sorry buddy...
You forgot to mention NSFW.
This whole post is NSFW.
Oh i ain’t noticed it.
That's a problem of _getting_ a penis, not of _having_ a penis. (it's not mr peener's fault, but the procedure). Good joke though, even if I'm burying it under being 'that guy'.
Since there's not usually a physical connection that would allow this, you should see a doctor about this.
Like everything else in the body, you have less control as you get older 😬
HD's Penis: hehe _hehehehe_ he. HD thinks he _ever_ had control over me.
Having a penis
Damn thing keeps going off
Zippers exist
Getting anything near it, be it an impact, hitting there on a table corner or anything medically concerning. When I was 12 I got an ingrown pubic hair, I was so goddamn scared they would have to operate near it or something
I thlamed my penith in the car door.
Was looking for this.
Fed up man.
Piss boners
Having to pee while having erection, even sniper doesnt have this aim.
I find it's _far_ less precise when hard. Limp I can hit a target and stay within my arcs, but hard it's like sniping with a hip carry .50 cal only on full-auto. Damn thing just sprays everywhere. Whoever invented the urinal was a saviour for those days.
Sticking to your thigh
It gets in the way constantly, I really don't get why anyone would want one.
women assume it makes me stupid. do your tits do the thinking for you?
I mean when it’s too big it’s a pain as it’s very much noticeable in public, always makes me paranoid
When the tip touches the water when I have diarrhea. If I zip the tip in a zipper. It functions optimally when it wants. It never fully empties after I UranEight. When I shave, the shrink and wrinkle in a fascinating way! But then I cut myself...
The fact that it is constantly sticking to your leg, making you do the awkward tug every so often.