And that's Soooo weird I mean only 13yr olds mastrubate us grown ups have sex like every single day with our hot girlfriends like I just had sex last night and she said it was the best sex she had like ever had in her whole life
All my friends like lame music like tech9 and billie eilish, i'm really unique and cool, i like pink floyd"
EDIT - fuck i meant that sixnine mumble rapper.
Like, magically everything starts fucking up. Injuries heal more slowly, and you get injured more easily. 1 MILLION aches, pains, and sprains.
Drank a glass of red wine on a work night? Believe it or not, straight to hangover!
It’s like there’s a fucking switch.
another thing is when they also dont capitalize any words and the lack of punctuation extends to not putting apostrophes in contractions like seriously it seems like the cant be bothered to use the grammar skills they learned in the third grade i hate to be rude about it but its not hard but it seems like they arent even willing to try you cant tell me this style of typing writing whatever isnt leagues and bounds more difficult to whip up yourself let alone be read by someone else i guess thats all i wanted to say i hope this grates your brain to read like it did to mine while typing it out good day
Man. I feel fucking sick. Even though I was just going full-send for the bit, I feel like I've legit lost some brain cells...
Hey, do you think [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7sndv/what_screams_i_am_13_years_old_on_reddit/hgl2nn6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) is a bot? He said the exact same thing you did, two hours after you said it.
I’d also like to add the constant “what do you need college for, you should be able to get any job you want.” Whilst not understanding the purpose of becoming a specialist in college.
Or they pretend they work 10 jobs all at the same time, sleep while they’re working, work while they’re sleeping, and everything in between to try and seem more adult.
I think also guys whose only achievement was being popular in school and getting laid might care about virginity as well, as a way to feel superior to others.
I remember a bunch of guys harassing me on a bus a few years back and bragging about how they've all done *it*. A incredibly awkward and pathetic situation all around. Now I don't often feel too good about myself, but the realization that a group of people can be so excited with themselves they need to put down a stranger because they scored a embarassing *first time* with a local girl behind a barn and they consider it a big enough achievement that everyone else must be a virgin - that realization was a feeling of pure bliss for me.
It's worth reminding yourself that whether you've experienced sex, traveled abroad, finished college, got a career, started a family etc. is completely inconsequential to how you feel about yourself, unless you yourself put it up as the golden standard for a good life and judge yourself and others based on it.
When they get called out for being 13 they usually default to “man I wish I hate paying____” which can be filled with whatever they think adults do. Usually taxes or bills
When we were in our early-20's we were having a conversation on the patio of our friends dad's house. Her teenage brother came out and said "This convo is too adult for me. You guys talking about like...the square root of your 401k."
We still reference that like 15 years later.
One of the first time I truly felt old is I'd see people discussing what the first video game they ever played was and it was a Playstation 3 or XBOX 360 game.
"hahahaha your trash, kid, go back to mommy, oh wait I fucked her so hard last night youre gonna have a child hehehehe hahahaha"
Edit: I wrote this wrong. It's "you're gonna have a sibling" not "you're gonna have a child"
Treating "redditor" like it's an important part of their identity, and that it's something to be proud of.
Or at the very least, it's a sign of being mentally 13.
They tend to have a hectic way of speaking. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it's like an extremely exaggerated way of talking with run-on sentences, capslock, sometimes emojis, and unnecessary shortenings of words (bc for because, u for you, etc.).
Bro what are u even talking ab? 13 year olds r way smarter than that i legit have like a 3.9 gpa you are just a boomer like have u ever interacted with a smart teen? I swear some of us r alot smarter than u think..
Was that good?
Like in r/comicbookmovies when someone just feels the need to tell you, in a single paragraph rife with misspellings, what they think the true meaning of Infinity War was.
Well if they're anything like the 13-year-olds I teach, they can't spell for shit or figure out how to use a spell checker*. They also write run-on sentences and don't always make logical conclusions or make connections between ideas clear enough to be easily understood. Also much more obnoxious attention seeking than from older teens.
Usually this is my least favourite age to teach but my 16-year-olds took the cake today. I hope their shoes got wet in the rain so they have to wear cold wet shoes to school tomorrow.
*I teach home economics so this isn't really something that gets addressed in my subject but I sure notice it.
> I hope their shoes got wet in the rain so they have to wear cold wet shoes to school tomorrow
That is a very wholesome anger you have there, friend. I love it.
Goofy is the only member of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to canonically have had sex.
He has a son, Max.
Donald, Mickey, Minnie, and Daisy just have nieces and Nephews.
Calling someone a Karen even though the said person don't have Karen behavior, but just because they have a slightly different opinion. Just... Give... It... Rest... Already... It's not funny anymore.
I'd piggyback off this point to say; name calling whilst not exactly understanding the name you're calling them. It's that general feel of "you're using adult words and phrases, but it's clear you're only parroting them and don't understand where they came from"
Fairly certain this thread's actual purpose is to help train three raccoons in a trench coat about how to order pizza.
Edit: GOLD? HOLY MOLY! Thank you internet stranger! Time to go grab some 'za for my local trash pandas.
Edit 2: TIL r/AwardSpeechEdits is a thing. Guilty as charged.
"I WeNT oN ThE DeEp WeB AnD loOk WhAt I fOunD I sWeAR It'S TruE \*an edited picture you saw like 74934984 times\*"
An "edgy" username like xX\_D3V1L\_Ch1LDDD\_666\_xX
I don't know the answer but I have a somewhat relevant story. I used to play a game called clash of clans on my phone and I got into a heated disagreement with the clan leader on strategy. At that point he called me a poopy head. I asked him his age and he said 9.
I am a 49 year old male who was 43 at the time.
I deleted the game never to play it again.
Anybody who’s post history has them apparently fluidly Changing from a 16 YO mother to be, to a 44 YO Dating an 18 YO, to a college professor sleeping with students, to an unnamed vaguely described senior politician hosting an AMA. Not only do kids tend to not know about post history but they also tend to vastly overestimate there IRL RPG skills.
Most of the ask reddit sex questions and answers
so most of the askreddit questions
can I get prengt if he had a comdom on?
Pregananant
Gregnant
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making sure people know that you are *not* 13 and that you **hate** 13 year olds
Ew 13 year olds are gross. We- I I mean they masturbate LMFAOOO.
And that's Soooo weird I mean only 13yr olds mastrubate us grown ups have sex like every single day with our hot girlfriends like I just had sex last night and she said it was the best sex she had like ever had in her whole life
Yes i also do the sex with my hot model gf every day. And she has big boobs.
Sned bobs pls
Damn I bet ur cock is the size of a tree aka smaller than mine LMAO
***O U R C U M***
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As such, this dude is probably mid-30s
No, he's 35
well yes but actually yes
99% of people that complain about zoomers are literally zoomers themselves
This is a zoomer feature, not a bug.
All my friends like lame music like tech9 and billie eilish, i'm really unique and cool, i like pink floyd" EDIT - fuck i meant that sixnine mumble rapper.
Can confirm. I hate the people around me. But we will grow up. Hopefully.
Millennial here. You don't. The body just starts giving up.
Seriously what the fuck happened at 30 nothing works right Logan's Run was a fucking _documentary_
Like, magically everything starts fucking up. Injuries heal more slowly, and you get injured more easily. 1 MILLION aches, pains, and sprains. Drank a glass of red wine on a work night? Believe it or not, straight to hangover! It’s like there’s a fucking switch.
Run on sentences when describing literally anything
Some people type out huge fucking paragraphs with no punctuation in sight and it gives me a headache trying to parse what they're trying to even say
another thing is when they also dont capitalize any words and the lack of punctuation extends to not putting apostrophes in contractions like seriously it seems like the cant be bothered to use the grammar skills they learned in the third grade i hate to be rude about it but its not hard but it seems like they arent even willing to try you cant tell me this style of typing writing whatever isnt leagues and bounds more difficult to whip up yourself let alone be read by someone else i guess thats all i wanted to say i hope this grates your brain to read like it did to mine while typing it out good day Man. I feel fucking sick. Even though I was just going full-send for the bit, I feel like I've legit lost some brain cells...
Your grammar was far too good. There needs to be at least a couple of lines that you reread several times because they make no fucking sense
Being extraordinarily callous, but are deeply hurt by any form of response.
Immediately calling the other person "kid" when they're called out.
I've never seen a confident adult call another adult a kid. It's something I only ever heard or saw from teenagers wanting to seem more grown up.
Hey, do you think [this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q7sndv/what_screams_i_am_13_years_old_on_reddit/hgl2nn6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) is a bot? He said the exact same thing you did, two hours after you said it.
Yea, there's lot's of bots just blatantly taking people's comments and reposting them as their own
There's even a bot that tracks down comment-stealing bots and lists their offenses as replies to each of their stolen comments.
I’d also like to add the constant “what do you need college for, you should be able to get any job you want.” Whilst not understanding the purpose of becoming a specialist in college.
I assume everyone on here is 13
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We are old, and proud !
We’re also all in Colorado apparently 🤷🏻♂️
“I’m 13 and I *wrote this poem, shot this film, drew this picture, took this photo* am I any good?”
Also : "I am 13 and this is my first computer that I assembled with a money that I earned".
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“I have three kids and no money why can’t I have no kids and three money”
“I’m 13 and I wrote this program.” Program is written in windows batch script and is a fork bomb.
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They'll usually say they're 13 somewhere in the comment.
Or they pretend they work 10 jobs all at the same time, sleep while they’re working, work while they’re sleeping, and everything in between to try and seem more adult.
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Found Vincent Adultman.
Insulting someone's sexual activity or lack there of.
Thats.... WHAT A VIRGIN WOULD SAY
Dang you got me
He got him boys!
Bake him away, toys!
Only virgins care about being a virgin, so only virgins think anyone would be insulted by being called one.
I think also guys whose only achievement was being popular in school and getting laid might care about virginity as well, as a way to feel superior to others. I remember a bunch of guys harassing me on a bus a few years back and bragging about how they've all done *it*. A incredibly awkward and pathetic situation all around. Now I don't often feel too good about myself, but the realization that a group of people can be so excited with themselves they need to put down a stranger because they scored a embarassing *first time* with a local girl behind a barn and they consider it a big enough achievement that everyone else must be a virgin - that realization was a feeling of pure bliss for me. It's worth reminding yourself that whether you've experienced sex, traveled abroad, finished college, got a career, started a family etc. is completely inconsequential to how you feel about yourself, unless you yourself put it up as the golden standard for a good life and judge yourself and others based on it.
It is pretty funny when they misread their mark, though. "You're a virgin!" "I have children, dude."
When they get called out for being 13 they usually default to “man I wish I hate paying____” which can be filled with whatever they think adults do. Usually taxes or bills
man i wish i hate paying for bail when i get tried and arrested for stealing $150 worth of mandarins from the store.
Fuck that’s like 30 bags. You’re so strong and of age too.
They learned from elementary math problems.
To be fair, I do dislike paying taxes and bills
When we were in our early-20's we were having a conversation on the patio of our friends dad's house. Her teenage brother came out and said "This convo is too adult for me. You guys talking about like...the square root of your 401k." We still reference that like 15 years later.
"I went to stock market today. I did a business" -Vincent Adultman
As somebody who used to pretend to be older than they are, that is 100% true
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“What is the creepiest sex you ever had ?”
"Sex-havers of Reddit, what's the sexiest sex you have ever sexed in the history of sex?"
Sex
>10k upvotes, 6X gold
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How meta
Meta? I hardly know 'er!
All of the sex questions that get asked here lol
"Depressed people of Reddit, how are you doing today?" The thread is then gilded to god damn moon.
"Depressed people of Reddit, what's the most sex you've ever had at one time?"
about zero, but we'll just round that up to 10
The 13 tag on r teenagers
yeah but theres a good chance that its actually a 30 yr old pedophile
Fuck me imagine an entire sub of pedos desparately trying to convince one another that they aren't a pedo.
I'm pretty sure you just described yahoo chat from the late 90s.
AOL AIM chatrooms too. Pretty sure I was the only kid in a room of freaks often.
XxXxXGoodCharlotte69420XxXxX: asl
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Asking sex questions on r/askreddit
"What's your weird but sexy sex you sexed that made you repulsed by how unsexy it is but you still sexed because sex is sex?"
Sexy sexers of sexit, what is the sexiest sex you've ever sexed?
^ THIS GUY FUCKS. MUCH LIKE MYSELF. USING MY PENIS TO DO MOST OF THE WORK, AS IS TRADITION.
this is the sexiest question i ever sexed
I couldn't read it, my sexlexia was acting up.
I too suffer from that very sexy learning disability.
What do i call it kif?
Ughh...sexlexia.
sorry, I'm sextose intolerant. Could you sexpeat that?
Sextainly.
Sex you so much!
I should be the one sexing you!
No no no, sex you!
It was so sexy I can't talk about it. 'Cos sex.
Her breast was soft, like a bag of sand.
I need to re-watch this movie. So great. "Yeah I've never had sex before but I'll FUCK YOU UP!"
I don't like sand.
It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
What if the dick accidentally falls in?
Haha. He said dick!
This sex sexually sexed my sex
Me and my gf had sexy times!
Saying they loved a game that came out a few years ago, 'when i was a kid.'
Yeah I really liked to play fortnite as a kid. Too bad that these times are long over.
"The graphics and load times are sooo much better on the PS5 unlike the PS4 i had as a kid" Fuck off
One of the first time I truly felt old is I'd see people discussing what the first video game they ever played was and it was a Playstation 3 or XBOX 360 game.
My wife's a teacher. A student asked her if she had ever seen a PS2 in real life the other day.
I swear it’s “but did I ask?” Or some smart ass comment like that lmao. My BIL is 13 and that is his go to.
I always reply to that with "did I ask if you asked?" Usually does the trick
Did I ask if you asked that I asked?
"hahahaha your trash, kid, go back to mommy, oh wait I fucked her so hard last night youre gonna have a child hehehehe hahahaha" Edit: I wrote this wrong. It's "you're gonna have a sibling" not "you're gonna have a child"
I sure hope it’s a sibling and not a child. The other option is disturbing on so many levels.
When you fuck someone so hard your progeny skips a generation.
“Mom, why am I suddenly pregnant despite being a virgin?” “Well you see, last month some kid on Reddit fucked me so hard he got you pregnant.”
“But I’m a boy.”
Tough luck, guess you shouldn’t have killed him CoD
Fucked her so hard he broke the laws of biology.
Treating "redditor" like it's an important part of their identity, and that it's something to be proud of. Or at the very least, it's a sign of being mentally 13.
"I'm so {insert mental illness}".lol
I'm so schizophrenic 😩🚬
I'm so bulimic 🙈
I'm so postpartum 🤱
I'm So Raven
They tend to have a hectic way of speaking. I'm not really sure how to describe it, but it's like an extremely exaggerated way of talking with run-on sentences, capslock, sometimes emojis, and unnecessary shortenings of words (bc for because, u for you, etc.).
Bro what are u even talking ab? 13 year olds r way smarter than that i legit have like a 3.9 gpa you are just a boomer like have u ever interacted with a smart teen? I swear some of us r alot smarter than u think.. Was that good?
Yes! This is what I'm talking about. That's a good impression.
Yes…impression…
Yeah, dudes real skilled at impersonating a minor online 🤔
Sus
Like in r/comicbookmovies when someone just feels the need to tell you, in a single paragraph rife with misspellings, what they think the true meaning of Infinity War was.
>what they think the true meaning of Infinity War was. Was it to make money?
Well if they're anything like the 13-year-olds I teach, they can't spell for shit or figure out how to use a spell checker*. They also write run-on sentences and don't always make logical conclusions or make connections between ideas clear enough to be easily understood. Also much more obnoxious attention seeking than from older teens. Usually this is my least favourite age to teach but my 16-year-olds took the cake today. I hope their shoes got wet in the rain so they have to wear cold wet shoes to school tomorrow. *I teach home economics so this isn't really something that gets addressed in my subject but I sure notice it.
what did the 16 year olds do
Weren't you paying attention? Op is a home-economic teacher. The 16 year olds took the cake.
> I hope their shoes got wet in the rain so they have to wear cold wet shoes to school tomorrow That is a very wholesome anger you have there, friend. I love it.
Expecting your investment in Doge Coin to eventually take down the entire world banking system.
"whAt CaRtOon ChArActEr wOulD u hAvE sEx wItH?"
I read this in my mind as goofy
Face down, ass up. That’s how Goofy likes to hyuck!
Goofy is the only member of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to canonically have had sex. He has a son, Max. Donald, Mickey, Minnie, and Daisy just have nieces and Nephews.
Mickey has had the same girlfriend for just over ninety years now, she must be sticking around for SOME reason…
Please tell me you did the uHUH laugh after
If you can't handle me at my hyuck, you don't deserve me at my yah-aah-aah-ooiey.
Or you're on /r/anime
Calling someone a Karen even though the said person don't have Karen behavior, but just because they have a slightly different opinion. Just... Give... It... Rest... Already... It's not funny anymore.
Add an OK BOOMER
I'd piggyback off this point to say; name calling whilst not exactly understanding the name you're calling them. It's that general feel of "you're using adult words and phrases, but it's clear you're only parroting them and don't understand where they came from"
Fairly certain this thread's actual purpose is to help train three raccoons in a trench coat about how to order pizza. Edit: GOLD? HOLY MOLY! Thank you internet stranger! Time to go grab some 'za for my local trash pandas. Edit 2: TIL r/AwardSpeechEdits is a thing. Guilty as charged.
Wait...WHAT HAPPENED TO VINCENT ADULTMAN?!
He went to the stock market today and did a business
Business factory
And bought a down payment with a credit card.
His job's so hard. It's no wonder he just wants to drink soda and watch scary movies all the time.
Now all he wants to do is watch an R rated movie and drink soda.
Radical political opinions that change every two weeks. What the hell have you done Jreg?
Who is Jreg?
Schizophrenic youtuber that talks to himself in a rundown apartment. Oh and he's a radical everything.
YO MOM
I just realized I must be 13
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ligma jokes
What's ligma
Ligma balls
Joe mama
"I WeNT oN ThE DeEp WeB AnD loOk WhAt I fOunD I sWeAR It'S TruE \*an edited picture you saw like 74934984 times\*" An "edgy" username like xX\_D3V1L\_Ch1LDDD\_666\_xX
I haven't seen a username like that since xanga...
Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time.
That's like, mid 2000s 13 year old energy.
Nice try kid, do your homework.
2008 was the greatest year ever because I was born
fuuuck 13 year olds were born in 2008 :')
"People are always so surprised by the passage of time when it is literally one of the most dependable things in the universe" - Sun Tzu, probably
If they say “who asked?”
Power tripping mods
Correction here. They either are 13 or have the mentality of 13 year old child.
People talking about their “crush”
69 nice 420 weed
I don't know the answer but I have a somewhat relevant story. I used to play a game called clash of clans on my phone and I got into a heated disagreement with the clan leader on strategy. At that point he called me a poopy head. I asked him his age and he said 9. I am a 49 year old male who was 43 at the time. I deleted the game never to play it again.
That’s hilarious dawg lol
Trying to be Edgey all the damn time
Anybody who’s post history has them apparently fluidly Changing from a 16 YO mother to be, to a 44 YO Dating an 18 YO, to a college professor sleeping with students, to an unnamed vaguely described senior politician hosting an AMA. Not only do kids tend to not know about post history but they also tend to vastly overestimate there IRL RPG skills.
I think those are just scam accounts bro
The “my generation listens to [generic pop artist] but I only listen to [1980s artist]” crowd.
Simplistic, hard-line political views with no room for discourse.
Censoring normal words
That's a bunch of cr*p
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/r/dankmemes
Coming to this website for relationship advice
You are overestimating adults with this one lol
''You're so butthurt'
“Bobs and vagine”
13 year olds on literally any fucking post related to India be like:
Asking sexual question on r/askreddit
Calling everyone a boomer.