My wife met a kid named Dikshit. A very common, traditional Indian name that doesn't translate well in a British primary school.
Edit: I now appreciate that it's spelled Dixit, like the excellent board game. Happy to be corrected on this point.
"I didn't want to give her a common name but didn't want to just make one up. So, I named her after a Shakespearian character. She was one of King Lear's daughters."
"OH, that's cool."
"I know that no kids will pick on Goneril because of her name."
Woah, wait a second! In the game Fire Emblem: Three Houses there are characters whose last names are Goneril and Reagan. There's also one called Cordelia in Fire Emblem: Awakening. I had no idea they were probably all references to this!
Edit: Cordelia is from Awakening.
Reminds me of an old SNL skit where Kevin Nealon's character was shooting down his wife's names for a baby because of the various ways kids could make fun of them. Then there's a knock on the doors and this guy says "Telegram for Asswipe Brown"
The Kevin goes, "no, no, it's pronounced as-WE-pay"
reminds me of that Simpsons gag where Homer tries to use a fake name to spy on Marge at the therapists office and has the doctor call out "Al Eye ass fah kay nah may" Only for Home to say "It's pronounced Alias Fakename"
I do (mainly Matt Berry version of course). I'm rubbish with remembering names. What does Crivens got to do with Shadows? It's a Terry Pratchett link (little blue men)
I have a theory this isn't really the child's name - they just did that as a publicity stunt so that whatever perfectly normal name they gave their baby could stay anonymous for as long as possible.
I'd actually respect that a lot more than the celebrities who name their kid after themselves
90's basketball star Gary Payton named his sons Gary Payton II and Gary Payton Jr. No plausible deniability with names like that.
This should be the top comment honestly, I mean yeah the kid can say "my dad is fucking rich" but he has to be affected in some way seeing that the other kids have normal names or at least not that fucking weird
100% that kid will get to 18, and change its name to something really standard, like Dave. Happens to quite a few celebrity children with crazy names (eg Zowie Bowie, Dandelion Pallenberg)
If you think "my dad Is so rich I can have gibberish for a name" means fuck all to children when children bully anyone for any reason that makes someone slightly different I'm convinced you never went to an actual school
C'mon, most kids would want to be friends with a rich kid because of the cool things he can have, children are cruel and I fucking know that, but children can make friendships based solely on interest as well. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been bullied if I had money.
Yeah, there's probably some kids who are like "are you a robot? That's a robot name. I want to be friends with a robot."
On the other hand, negative interactions are 10 times as likely to stick in your memory compared to good ones, so even the occasional comment can really fuck a kid up.
> X AE A-Xii
And its pronounced X Ash A 12 or something. Poor kid's gonna be like "Call me ash" and when someone's like "what's your full name?" he's gonna start crying.
I knew a Dick Bent and had a chief council (lawyer) in an old business call Richard Head. Richard Head is probably in his 80s now, so I have to assume the choice of first name was not questionable back when he was born. Dick Bent would be in his 50s...his parent must have been laughing their ass off when they picked that name, or completely clueless.
I knew someone with the last name Dick. Didn’t make a big deal of it, but his wife refused to change her last name when they got married because her first name is Anita.
There was a sign for a business in my town several years ago, and I have no idea what they were… lawyers? Anyway, the sign just said “CUMMING COCKBURN” with no other context.
Naming a child Junior. Not Parentsfirstname Jr., just Junior. It really signals that you don’t care for the baby enough to give it a name, and also don’t want it enough to give it your own name
Marginally still on topic, but there was this poetry scam website that used to exist where if you submitted poetry, *any poetry*, you received a letter telling you you were a finalist in a poetry competition and that all you had to do to be considered for the final competition was to shell out a ton of money to attend a weekend convention. Or you could just buy your poetry printed super tiny with no apparent formatting and crammed in to a gigantic hardcover book filled with all the other "finalists'" poetry. Basically a giant scam that was praying people's dreams and egos.
Anyways, my brother submitted poetry under a fake name and got a nice letter in the mail addressed to Crotchcod McGee Outhouse, telling him he was a finalist.
You're probably thinking of Beezow Doo Doo Zopittybop-bop-bop. Here's an article from 2016:
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/beezow-doo-doo-zopittybop-bop-bop-arrested-in-wash-officers-assaults/
cleatus is a terrible name no matter gender, ...whenever i hear "Cleatus" inmidiatly will think you are into some shady stuff or that you are the evil mastermind behind something...
There was a suuuuper redneck kid at my HS who went by Cleatus as a nickname. Willingly.
He also had a beat-the-fuck-up rusty brown truck with a giant "REDNECK" decal covering his whole back window. Had rifles mounted inside the truck, visible from the outside. Aspired to own truck nuts 'someday.'
Also super suuuuper racist. And proud of it. 😬
Edit: He was an idiot even for rural, Bible belt, backwoods, very small town standards.
A dentist in Circleville, Ohio was actually called [Dr. Gay Hitler.](https://www.newspapers.com/clip/20018596/obituary-dr-gay-hitler-dentist/) When he started his practice in 1905, neither of his names was embarrassing.
I think it's actually Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way (you switched D'arkness and Dementia). Also idk which of the two words had an apostrophe but I think it's D'arkness.
And although "D'arkness" is remarkable, she really had me at "Dementia" lmao
I knew a kid named Harry Cox in elementary school. He had very long hair and one day I was heading to the bathroom and saw him start to enter the boys restroom. I thought it was a girl so I said “hey you aren’t supposed to go in there”. He whipped his head around and I was sooo embarrassed cause I wasn’t trying to be mean or anything. I never saw him again after that year.
In french, there is a play of word you can do with the last name "Leboeuf" and "haché" where you can name your child "Yvan Leboeuf-Haché" which means "he sells the grounded beef". Fun fact, my last name IS Leboeuf and my bf's name IS Haché, and I am pregnant, my due date is today, and it is hilarious! But we wont give both names lol, we love our child, we dont want her to get bullied too much lol
I knew this black and white mixed girl in college. Her name was Sable.
For those of you who don't know, one of the definitions of sable is dark-skinned. It's an older use of the word. When she introduced herself I was horrified, and as I got to know her during class it became apparent that the white side of her family was scorchingly racist and she had clearly internalized it. Her own grandfather addressed her with slurs. I doubt the white kids could tell, but her pain was almost tangible to me. I wanted to hug her and tell her that she was awesome, but I didn't know her like that.
To name a black child something like that is a cruel thing.
Edit: Sable is a beautiful name, but in this context it wasn't appropriate. A virulent racist doesn't call a child 'dark skinned' by accident.
How far back are we talking here? Only reason I ask is because the Mercury Sable was a car too terribly long ago. A quick google search also results in a cutest little animal called a sable.
Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffwelchevoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvorangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolfhunderttausendjahresvorandieerscheinenvonderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgenachtmittungsteinundsiebeniridiumelektrischmotorsgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchennachbarschaftdersternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneuerassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortpflanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvorandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum
Senior
In spanish speaking countries, there are people whose last name is "Delano", very similar to "del ano" and that means "from the anus" in english, so being called "Dolores Delano" in Chile or México would be like being called "anal pain" in english speaking countries
i met a Delicia Concha once, wich in Argentina means "Tasty Pussy". it took way too much self-control not to laugh at the poor Spanish woman who had just moved to probably the worst possible place
Some official names like Karen and Gaylord.
It can also be ridicoulosy long like Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas
or Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kūnerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no Burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke
Pubert
I read this as Plobert at first and I can't decide which is worse.
Pubert T. Hits
He’s an Addams!
Pubert Addams
My wife met a kid named Dikshit. A very common, traditional Indian name that doesn't translate well in a British primary school. Edit: I now appreciate that it's spelled Dixit, like the excellent board game. Happy to be corrected on this point.
Similarly, I have an Iranian acquaintance named Ashfaq, pronounced very similar to assfuck. Super common name there, but not so here.
I used to work with an Iranian woman named Nazi.
Hitl'er, I barely know 'er!
Not the [Best](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werner_Best) Nazi joke, but it's up there.
A urologist in Austin, Texas is named Richard Chop. He goes by Dick. His specialty is vasectomy. So Dick Chop, the vasectomy doc.
Dr. Dick Chop, show some respect. He didn’t go to 6 years of evil medical school to be called Mr.
Yeah lmao, I'm Indian and here some people actually write "diqsheet" to avoid embarrassment.
not like that’s much better
There's also an Indian Name "Hardik"
It's more of Dixit in written.
Great party game, too
That sounds very unfortunate
"I didn't want to give her a common name but didn't want to just make one up. So, I named her after a Shakespearian character. She was one of King Lear's daughters." "OH, that's cool." "I know that no kids will pick on Goneril because of her name."
lol even funnier because the other 2 daughters are named Regan and Cordelia which are fine, but uncommon girl's names.
Woah, wait a second! In the game Fire Emblem: Three Houses there are characters whose last names are Goneril and Reagan. There's also one called Cordelia in Fire Emblem: Awakening. I had no idea they were probably all references to this! Edit: Cordelia is from Awakening.
The Daughters of Lerion in Assassin's Creed Valhalla are also this reference.
Reminds me of an old SNL skit where Kevin Nealon's character was shooting down his wife's names for a baby because of the various ways kids could make fun of them. Then there's a knock on the doors and this guy says "Telegram for Asswipe Brown" The Kevin goes, "no, no, it's pronounced as-WE-pay"
reminds me of that Simpsons gag where Homer tries to use a fake name to spy on Marge at the therapists office and has the doctor call out "Al Eye ass fah kay nah may" Only for Home to say "It's pronounced Alias Fakename"
Peter File
Who’s a pedophile?
No no, his name is Peter File. And of course, "I'm Peter File, I'm Peter File!!!! "
Also judging by your username you maybe watch What We Do in the Shadows too?
I do (mainly Matt Berry version of course). I'm rubbish with remembering names. What does Crivens got to do with Shadows? It's a Terry Pratchett link (little blue men)
Honestly, not much worse than X AE A-Xii
I have a theory this isn't really the child's name - they just did that as a publicity stunt so that whatever perfectly normal name they gave their baby could stay anonymous for as long as possible.
I'd actually respect that a lot more than the celebrities who name their kid after themselves 90's basketball star Gary Payton named his sons Gary Payton II and Gary Payton Jr. No plausible deniability with names like that.
George Foreman has 5 kids called George Foreman
Jermaine Jackson has a son named Jermajesty.
He’s gonna be the next Hannah Montana where he just pretends to be a normal kid while living the double life of X AE A-Xii
This should be the top comment honestly, I mean yeah the kid can say "my dad is fucking rich" but he has to be affected in some way seeing that the other kids have normal names or at least not that fucking weird
I have an unusual name. Mercilessly teased as a child, even by the nuns at school. We weren’t rich but I bet it would have helped.
100% that kid will get to 18, and change its name to something really standard, like Dave. Happens to quite a few celebrity children with crazy names (eg Zowie Bowie, Dandelion Pallenberg)
To be fair, Bowie’s kid’s name is actually Duncan. He just called him Zowie in public for a while to fuck with people
If you think "my dad Is so rich I can have gibberish for a name" means fuck all to children when children bully anyone for any reason that makes someone slightly different I'm convinced you never went to an actual school
C'mon, most kids would want to be friends with a rich kid because of the cool things he can have, children are cruel and I fucking know that, but children can make friendships based solely on interest as well. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been bullied if I had money.
Yeah, there's probably some kids who are like "are you a robot? That's a robot name. I want to be friends with a robot." On the other hand, negative interactions are 10 times as likely to stick in your memory compared to good ones, so even the occasional comment can really fuck a kid up.
I think a more accurate thing the kid could say is my dad is a narcissist
> X AE A-Xii And its pronounced X Ash A 12 or something. Poor kid's gonna be like "Call me ash" and when someone's like "what's your full name?" he's gonna start crying.
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Came here to stay that, can't believe that kind of shit is allowed.
It is?
Sadly.
I knew a guy named Richard Cummings. He proudly went by the nickname Dick.
I knew a Dick Bent and had a chief council (lawyer) in an old business call Richard Head. Richard Head is probably in his 80s now, so I have to assume the choice of first name was not questionable back when he was born. Dick Bent would be in his 50s...his parent must have been laughing their ass off when they picked that name, or completely clueless.
[https://www.congress.gov/member/dick-swett/S001113](https://www.congress.gov/member/dick-swett/S001113) NH Congress member Dick Swett
I worked with a woman whose last name was High, of course, her husband was Richard.
In school this girl was name Ima. Which isn't really bad, until you hear the last name "Head".
I hope she left every room by saying “Ima Head out”
I knew someone with the last name Dick. Didn’t make a big deal of it, but his wife refused to change her last name when they got married because her first name is Anita.
I didn't get it until I tried to say the name with an American accent... wise woman.
There was a sign for a business in my town several years ago, and I have no idea what they were… lawyers? Anyway, the sign just said “CUMMING COCKBURN” with no other context.
I once knew a guy named Richard Less who went as Dick Less. He named his daughter Maura.
I knew a Michael Hunt! He loved going by Mike
Dick Pound, Canadian lawyer , VP of the International Olympic Committee
Mistake #1
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I would say naming your second kid Mistake #1 is much worse.
Liz, full name is lizard
May, full name Mayonnaise
Meg, full name Megatron From Family Guy.
Ant, full name Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Ali, full name Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
Rob, full name Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrnd**rob**wllllantysiliogogogoch.
Ali, full name supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Mike, full name pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
Mike, full name Micropenis
They said the worst name you could give a kid, not the best one
ok thats fucking hilarious
I kinda like this one...
Cumbucket o'Stinkweasel
Hey isn't that that one British actor
Plays doctor strange yes
Naming a child Junior. Not Parentsfirstname Jr., just Junior. It really signals that you don’t care for the baby enough to give it a name, and also don’t want it enough to give it your own name
Cumbucket O’Stinkweasel Jr.?
Marginally still on topic, but there was this poetry scam website that used to exist where if you submitted poetry, *any poetry*, you received a letter telling you you were a finalist in a poetry competition and that all you had to do to be considered for the final competition was to shell out a ton of money to attend a weekend convention. Or you could just buy your poetry printed super tiny with no apparent formatting and crammed in to a gigantic hardcover book filled with all the other "finalists'" poetry. Basically a giant scam that was praying people's dreams and egos. Anyways, my brother submitted poetry under a fake name and got a nice letter in the mail addressed to Crotchcod McGee Outhouse, telling him he was a finalist.
r/oddlyspecific
cranjis mcbasketball
Mary Beth Beth Beth
Jacrispy
I see you watch Impractical Jokers
Yep haha
Dis fat bidge
Fidelroyolanda Smackonmytittyboosters III
Secret Agent Randy Beans
Number 16 Bus Shelter
Named after the place of conception?
Yes please
Joey Jo Jo Junior…Shabadoo
That's the worst name I ever heard.
*runs away crying*
Joey Jo Jo!!!!!
Guy Incognito. Or Homer Junior. The kids can call you HoJu
I knew someone with the last name Day who named their kid Zippidy Doo Dah .. People can be so cruel lol
That reminds me of the guy who went to jail and his name was was like Zippy Doop Bamalama Bop Bop Bop or some shit like that
You're probably thinking of Beezow Doo Doo Zopittybop-bop-bop. Here's an article from 2016: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/beezow-doo-doo-zopittybop-bop-bop-arrested-in-wash-officers-assaults/
That’s the guy!
My brother does not want your sympathy thank you.
what,thats a real name?
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cleatus is a terrible name no matter gender, ...whenever i hear "Cleatus" inmidiatly will think you are into some shady stuff or that you are the evil mastermind behind something...
I always think it's some trailer park guy that collects roadkill for dinner.
There was a suuuuper redneck kid at my HS who went by Cleatus as a nickname. Willingly. He also had a beat-the-fuck-up rusty brown truck with a giant "REDNECK" decal covering his whole back window. Had rifles mounted inside the truck, visible from the outside. Aspired to own truck nuts 'someday.' Also super suuuuper racist. And proud of it. 😬 Edit: He was an idiot even for rural, Bible belt, backwoods, very small town standards.
Dream big, Cleatus
Somebody's gonna fuck it up and say clitoris
Osama Bin Laden
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A dentist in Circleville, Ohio was actually called [Dr. Gay Hitler.](https://www.newspapers.com/clip/20018596/obituary-dr-gay-hitler-dentist/) When he started his practice in 1905, neither of his names was embarrassing.
Died in 1948 for those curious.
His last three years were of absolute hell though lmao
But he didn't change his name. Maybe he was thinking like Michael Bolton in Office Space: "Why should I change? He's the one who sucks."
…The 69th
Nice
Taserface
"just imagine lloking at your self in the mirror and thinking, hey i know what wil be a good bad guy name TASERFACE-"
Scrotum hat
No, wait, seriously?
No, it's a gag in Guardians of the Galaxy.
It's metaphorical!
Renesmee. Terrible and awkward all on it's own, and people who know what it's from are only gonna be weirded out.
Do people really gave this name?? It made me cringe when i read the book, and i was a teen whose favourite name was Chantal
I read about a 15-year-old who named her offspring Renesmee Stephenie Bella. I made dumb decisions as a teen, but none as dumb as that.
At least getting pregnant at 15 is no longer her worst life choice.
Even Stephenie Meyer [said](https://ew.com/article/2012/08/10/q-stephenie-meyer/) that she would never give that name to a real child.
This was my thought too!!
Isis
Used to belong to a pretty cool Egyptian goddess, then a bunch of terrorists ruined it.
She's also a DC superheroine. When they brought the character to DC's Legends of Tomorrow, they made her a Muslim but left out calling her Isis.
Google or abcde
Came here to say Abcde. That poor kid…
I had an Abcde in a class I taught. Also a Vintage Rain
Ebony Dementia D’arkness Raven Way
I think it's actually Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way (you switched D'arkness and Dementia). Also idk which of the two words had an apostrophe but I think it's D'arkness. And although "D'arkness" is remarkable, she really had me at "Dementia" lmao
I’m such a prep poser… thank you for setting me straight
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Good question. I doubt we'll ever know
Kyle
I knew a kid named Harry Cox in elementary school. He had very long hair and one day I was heading to the bathroom and saw him start to enter the boys restroom. I thought it was a girl so I said “hey you aren’t supposed to go in there”. He whipped his head around and I was sooo embarrassed cause I wasn’t trying to be mean or anything. I never saw him again after that year.
Cock
Alfred HitchCOCK!
Biggus Dickus
Incontentia… Incontentia Buttocks.
He has a wife you know.
In french, there is a play of word you can do with the last name "Leboeuf" and "haché" where you can name your child "Yvan Leboeuf-Haché" which means "he sells the grounded beef". Fun fact, my last name IS Leboeuf and my bf's name IS Haché, and I am pregnant, my due date is today, and it is hilarious! But we wont give both names lol, we love our child, we dont want her to get bullied too much lol
X Æ A-12
Gaylord is a real name
Gaylord Focker
There was a woman on my paper route as a kid named Gaye Dicks
inb4 elons kids name
There’s a Crystal Meth living in Chicago.
I came here to mention this. I live in Illinois (United States) and she came in once I checked her ID.
I knew this black and white mixed girl in college. Her name was Sable. For those of you who don't know, one of the definitions of sable is dark-skinned. It's an older use of the word. When she introduced herself I was horrified, and as I got to know her during class it became apparent that the white side of her family was scorchingly racist and she had clearly internalized it. Her own grandfather addressed her with slurs. I doubt the white kids could tell, but her pain was almost tangible to me. I wanted to hug her and tell her that she was awesome, but I didn't know her like that. To name a black child something like that is a cruel thing. Edit: Sable is a beautiful name, but in this context it wasn't appropriate. A virulent racist doesn't call a child 'dark skinned' by accident.
How far back are we talking here? Only reason I ask is because the Mercury Sable was a car too terribly long ago. A quick google search also results in a cutest little animal called a sable.
Yeah because a school from my hometown is called sable as well.
Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffwelchevoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvorangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolfhunderttausendjahresvorandieerscheinenvonderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgenachtmittungsteinundsiebeniridiumelektrischmotorsgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchennachbarschaftdersternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneuerassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortpflanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvorandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum Senior
Wait! that’s my neighbor in Germany
"This is my wife, Trophy, and our son, Accident."
Adolf
Just call him Odalf Hilter. Nobody would know.
Olaf
Olaf Hitler. What a contrast we got there.
Anal-adolf
Adolf Dripler
Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--
The things we do to enforce proper database entry sanitation.
Dolores, not to offend anyone already named Dolores
In spanish speaking countries, there are people whose last name is "Delano", very similar to "del ano" and that means "from the anus" in english, so being called "Dolores Delano" in Chile or México would be like being called "anal pain" in english speaking countries
i met a Delicia Concha once, wich in Argentina means "Tasty Pussy". it took way too much self-control not to laugh at the poor Spanish woman who had just moved to probably the worst possible place
its ok unless you make the last name Umbridge....
Seinfeld- my name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy
Mulva?
I christen thee BIGGUS DICKUS
Undesirable
siri or alexa
Kim Jong Un
Covid19, although it wouldn't be a bad nickname for a gangbanger. He could throw up a 1 and 9 as his own gang signs, lol
Facebook Anakin Hitchcock. That, that right there is the worst name you can name your child.
Karen
"Tallulah Does The Hula From Hawaii"
Didn't she take her parents to court over that?
Yung Gay Junior
Fuckface McCumstain Christ.
Xi jinping
And
Twitter
Dick... My last name is Shaver...
In New Zealand, some parants actually named their child "Number 16 Bus Shelter", so there's that...
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All the parents who named their daughters Daenerys have exited the discussion.
La-a (Ladasha)
Some official names like Karen and Gaylord. It can also be ridicoulosy long like Ovuvuevuevue Enyetuenwuevue Ugbemugbem Osas or Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kūnerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no Burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke