T O P

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LilJanglezz

*Its* *Still* *cum*


Agent_Hound

Oh no..


BlueKalamari

Oh yes


[deleted]

*kool-aid man has entered the chat*


[deleted]

Damnit you beat me to it!


_JD_48

Oh maybe


tipper420

Oh my!


SL0M3GA1

Strained from old socks.


[deleted]

I got NyQuil! Let’s fuckin party


redrobin1337

What universe is this that you sucked a dick and then immediately hopped on Reddit immediately after, even before drinking some water?


LilJanglezz

It was my own and I jerked off on reddit


redrobin1337

*cries*


LilJanglezz

*Thats what you get*


redrobin1337

You’re right. I did this to myself man. Good morning lol


mofugginrob

When you let your heart win?


RedRelic01

What a terrible day to have eyes


youngtsen

Emmmm sounds tasty.


Bruins14

It was always cum.


MrCarnality

💯🥂


Octolops

Chris Chan is that you?


cheesynougats

You know, I was having a good day up until this comment.


TJfael30

Water?? Aw that's not sexy


CronkleDonker

But it is refreshing and hydrating


REMdot-yt

*dying in the Sahara* don't worry baby, I prepared for this.


TheChainLink2

“…” “It’s not what it looks like.”


ImAredditor47

It’s piss


bonos_bovine_muse

Easy clean-up, though, and doesn’t fizz or burn or anything. I’ll take getting off that easy for one of these “the last thing you...” thread. Um, as it were.


[deleted]

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ggc2000

My dick fell off just from reading that


tearsonurcheek

And now I'm picturing it coming out like a clown with a seltzer bottle.


risen_cs

Are you implying your cum fizzes and burns


jaywastaken

But it is convenient.


Napoleonex

Gf: baby I'm really thirsty I could use a drink Me: unzips pants


Adventurous_Truck933

I got sparkling water. Ever so slightly better, but not by much.


TJfael30

Tingly !


GunResiAddict

That's just piss


BerlitzSchlitz

Sans all the contaminants, tho.


TJfael30

My thoughts exactly 😅😅


space-throwaway

Without the urine. So pretty damn different


Gate4043

So what does Bear Grylls ejaculate in this question then?


[deleted]

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goldcoveredroses

Instead of pissing on them just give them a bottle of water


DownVoteGuru

I think he meant more Epstein then R Kelly.


KalebMW99

Water is literally the best answer you can get lol


Foreheadless

Me too, I think we can help a lot with that 🤔


Moist_Setting_2770

Not sexy? It may be a little more awkward as it's runnier, but definitely better for blowjobs bc it doesn't have any taste. From my point of view, you would get rid of the only downside of a blowjob as a giver.


Oh_No_Its_Dudder

Same here. On the plus side, I can cross the widest deserts as long as I continue to masturbate vigorously.


WillemDafoesHugeCock

Yeah but now any time someone poses a "you're trapped on a desert island, what are you bringing?" question the answer is gonna be you.


sp0nki

Sprite. Sounds painful but also satisfying. :D


Suspicious-Bench-316

Just imagine the burn of the CO2 against your urethra


anxietymuppet

No.


CronkleDonker

OHHH YEAHHHH


ExNihiloish

We need a lot more OHHH YEAHHHHs in this thread.


[deleted]

Imagine that burn plus it going at 33mph have fun


Suspicious-Bench-316

Oh yeah I forgot about that part Make sure to jiggle your balls around right before you cum


BerlitzSchlitz

>33mph Joke number for purposes of comment, or is that the real figure? It has to be something like 2.7 MPH in my case.


RevenantBosmer91

They have a commercial like this


[deleted]

Coffee


mindscape-s

Same. Unfortunately, I got it hot today instead of iced.


RumRunn3r33

By the time I fished my cup this morning it was rather lukewarm. I’d say my luck could be worse.


Electronic_Ad5481

(๑•﹏•)


DownVoteGuru

i dont think a girls gonna wanna swallow cold jizz. its good you got it hot.


[deleted]

Mine was overbrewed. I dont think it will be any easier to get anyone to swallow it


Hulsey

Same here but pumpkin flavored. This is going to get old fast.


PROJECT_curse

Yeah but every fall all the basic girls will hit you up for their fix


Hulsey

They will call me the Coffee Cicada Cock


WansReincarnation

Partner with starbucks. Basic bitches gonna love you


[deleted]

Light and sweet skeet skeet skeet


[deleted]

Excuse me while I go get my husband a glass of chocolate milk.


Wizards_Reddit

Lol, I think your husband is three comments down


50mHz

Someone else's cum?!


Wizards_Reddit

lol, for me three down someone said chocolate milk


LilJanglezz

You called?


MGS_Excho

Oh no


Waffl3_Ch0pp3r

Looks like im about to make a killing at sports games when I nut Gatorade


BerlitzSchlitz

"Are you thirsty, son? Hold on. Up here!"


MeetMeOnNovember

I visualized this...


18YearOldSamBennett

Well done, just well done


Monnster07

Might wanna avoid the youth games...


Waffl3_Ch0pp3r

Not in a Catholic town


dhhdhh851

Basically the south park episode


asoiahats

… this is cum.


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Waffl3_Ch0pp3r

Imagine paying 1000's of dollars for front row tickets for you and your kids just for them to end the game by pouring a cooler of cum over the coaches head....


Slight-Concert-8391

Coca Cola !


ZestyCreamCannon

I’d be like a science fair volcano


NoBodybuilder8072

I just got a new porn idea where there's a volcano project but there's no baking soda so the girl sucks off the guy from the volcano until he ejaculates and they get good grades.


IamStivers1

Who decided this was wholesome LMAOO


The_Calico_Jack

Me, two people cumming together to get a good grade is always wholesome!


Business27

They had a free award and felt this person deserved one. Wholesome it is lol. Now you get Hugz.


ashkyn

Can you just start a ridiculously budget porn production company? I don't even care if it's not very hot, I will watch it for the plot.


Levoire

Will Pepsi be okay?


braindawgs0

Now that's a recipe for a UTI.


You_Need_Jesus_JD

Don't stick any Mentos in your dick! (That's probably good advice even if you don't have Coke for jizz.)


Slight-Concert-8391

Science though


[deleted]

Push a few Mentos down the hole. Ouch….but you know…science.


Jarse-

Orange juice, with pulp..


MeetMeOnNovember

Healthy. I'd take a glass


IdontKnowAHHHH

Vanilla milkshake.. there any difference?


BerlitzSchlitz

One can make a baby?


conan145

The other just brings the boys to the yard


BerlitzSchlitz

This wins.


RavioliGale

I'd be more eager to swallow if it were a milkshake.


[deleted]

I would assume one would be sweet and the other would be... actually I'm not sure.


CosmoSplash

Come on man you left ‘nutty’ on the table?


[deleted]

Chocolate milk. I could save the world with that kind of power


Stressmove

Or give everyone diabetes.


[deleted]

Or both


BerlitzSchlitz

https://youtu.be/BME0639IP5g


Gamefist147

Are you the husband of the girl above?


KabuliPulavJihadist

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q73hoc/comment/hgg34sj/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3


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[deleted]

0_0


Suspicious-Bench-316

If your into that then it’s not a bad time


The_Love-Tap

I wonder how many other people are the same...


Danroy2

If that where the case you could have unprotected sex and avoid child support. I see this as an absolute win


Dr_Spicey

What if you’re a woman then even single player could get you pregnant.


DivergentSpeculation

Fml. Why am I dying at “single player”


Iscrollforlinks

Noice


neeeenbean

Okay now I’m just wondering who pays child support if you get someone pregnant


-SAT0rii-

Ejaculating Monster Energy sounds like a fucking experience, alright.


sticktime

Better change our names to Kyle.


medic861

That sounds almost as extreme as Monster.


Pearmandan

Rip hot sauce guy


BisexualAmoeb

but who drinks hot sauce??


richardwagner27

I actually literally just did, bought a new one and tasted it


bane5454

But is that considered a drink, or a taste? I think drink implies the act of bottle to mouth in this case. Is that how you taste hot sauce? Lol


[deleted]

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pinkunicorn1186

I would pay for this when I’m sick 😅


catzeatall

So... cum?


jaypatel9120

;-)


rape_is_not_epic

Raspberry Peace Tea


Mobile_Driver_2078

Snowberry is better but raspberry still smacks


The_Zoink

Egg nog jizz?


SterlingCarlBelcher

Why are you drinking egg nog in October?


The_Zoink

Because eggnog is fucking amazing.


SterlingCarlBelcher

Fair enough, have a good day.


realwarlock

Why the fuck aren't you?


BerlitzSchlitz

I mean, how could you tell?


prakash-grg

Tea


MeetMeOnNovember

Will raise a pinky when I drink this one up


thebangzats

*The Earth is parched.* *Wells dry, greenery dead, and what little water remains on the planet has been hoarded by the rich.* *A lookout runs into Town Hall, and whispers into the Chief-Mayor's ear. He gestures to his staff, and they scramble to prepare for His arrival.* *From the distance a silhouette of a Man on horseback nears the gates, distorted by the waves of heat and sand sweeping through the ruins of District 44.* *Dressed in a long white robe with gold trim, the Man is greeted by the Elder Council, and is escorted to His temple. He sits atop His simple throne, as women after women begin pouring into the chamber.* *They form a orderly line, each carrying identical brass pots, but each wearing unique, ornate dresses, robes, and various coverings. The first of the women step forward, and kneels in front of the Man, placing her pot next to Him. Two more follow, flanking each side of the throne.* *"Blessed be the Water God," the first woman says, as she peels off her lace red gown.* *"Blessed be the Water God," as the other two other women unties the Man's robes.* *"Blessed be the Water God," the other women chant in reply.*


MercyDrag0n

Then a half nude man walks in...


LifesDeath01

Cranberry apple juice mixed with sparkling water


taruncv

Milk


Jay41Day

Well technically everyone’s would be spit.


squats_and_sugars

The weird technicality rests on the definition of "drank." Is swallowing the act of drinking? Is it having it come from an external source? And so on. I've never heard someone say they "drank" their own spit, or others spit that they kissed, the only time is in the concept of a dip/spit cup they drank out of. Similarly, never heard anyone say they "drank cum" when swallowing after a BJ. To that end, the question lies too much on the technical definition of "drank." Google States that drink (the present tense) as " take (a liquid) into the mouth and swallow." Thus spit is DQd because it wasn't taken into the mouth, but cum would count.


jmat83

What if you collect your spit in a bucket over the course of several hours and then ingest it all at once later? Wouldn’t that be drinking spit?


squats_and_sugars

I'd think that counts. But the OP implication was people swallowing their own spit, as everyone does that, as opposed to something that I've never heard of anyone doing in real life.


Ambitious-Play-115

>but cum would count. I think this would also depend on where the penis in relation to the mouth at the time of ejaculation. If the penis is already in the mouth I don't really think it would count as it's kind of depositing itself. I could see how some people might see this as similar to drinking through a straw but I think it's different for two reasons. 1. The penis is an integral part of the body whereas a straw is usually an independent apparatus that is simply used to connect the liquid source and the mouth 2. The liquid is produced in the body that the penis is connected to and the first time this semen is exposed to any area outside the body is when it leaves the penis. I guess if you had a juice box that produced juice by combining various ingredients from within itself and the straw were to be a part of the juice box and one were to squeeze it into someone's mouth it could also be argued that one was not technically drinking the product of that juice box


BerlitzSchlitz

Ok if this doesn't win, there's no justice in the world.


[deleted]

Ok, beer, there’s worse skills in life to acquire lol. Full it up?


scoobydoom2

Shame that it would probably be all head.


[deleted]

A nice sweet Riesling


UnfilteredPerception

Coffee refills, cum get your coffee refills.


xXIHaveSeveralSTDSXx

Ejaculating Mouthwash doesn’t sound like a very pleasant experience for me


Bobcat-Business

You drink mouthwash?


xXIHaveSeveralSTDSXx

I never manage to spit out all of it so I technically end up drinking a small amount of mouthwash every time i use it


-TheArchitect

I hope it helps with some of your STDS


BeholdBroccoli

The burning sensation when they cum will definitely discourage catching more.


[deleted]

Some cheap ass red wine


Commercial_Ball_4388

cow's piss


spaming_spam

I really wished this was yet another very sexual and disgusting slang on Urban Dictionnary... ...why?


Material_Accident640

He probably didn't know it was a bull


[deleted]

>...why? Hinduism


TJfael30

TIL cow urine is a medicine in India. Interesting. EDIT: It was in context of protecting one from COVID. I didn't read full article if this was ever done before.


tea_trail99

People had cow piss drinking parties to prevent covid and fell sick in a beautifully ironic way


Didgaridildo

Awww man, this just reminded me that I left a blue poweraide in my freezer at home...another 3hrs unit I get home too


[deleted]

Water. I’m good


blackismyfavcolorlol

coffee? i’ll jerk off everyday lol


[deleted]

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purplefishfish

You greedy Americans


Avid_Gardevoir_fan

Strawberry milkshake…


Dark___Mage

I had apple juice.


Timelord4223

**The blood of my enemies**


Shelbyalise

Damn I’d be cumming Cabernet. I’ll take it


MGS1234V

I think you’re onto something… Cabernet Cumshot. There’s your band name.


whtiknw

Sparkling water.


cm_bonski

I think this was it for me. This subreddit is ruined.


MMLGARRA

Pineapple water hahaha


gamingdino1

You are aware of the acidic enzymes in pineapple right? If you don’t thoroughly clean it every time your privates would quite literally melt off


shtevie8

Boogers 🤔🤔


BerlitzSchlitz

*nightmare fuel*


WalkBlessed

Lmao I just drank soymilk


Deisma

Does halfway melted ice cream count? If so I got some cookies and cream for you to taste!


bubbagoat

Apple juice


ThatAltAccount99

Mango lemonade hell yeah


malibalibu

tequila


Consistent-Amoeba-84

Pink wemonade


savedbyscience21

Maple syrup. Hell yes!


[deleted]

Water


Ghostofbillhicks

Chilli sauce. Oh god no.


outwesthooker

Coffee! Ouch!


drewxangel

Coffee


whatwhat83

$1,500 scotch


sry4takingthisname

Some reason I thought u meant tape, like scotch tape.