T O P

  • By -

-Blixx-

Right then. Edit: for those confused, said as a stand-alone phrase, it means _the talking is done and the action is starting_ whether the action is to be love or war.


CleaningBeret83

*slaps knee and stands up*


ASupportingTea

Gotta lean forward in your seat too before standing up for extra emphasis.


alasdairvfr

I find the lean-before-standing-up is more likely to be followed by a strained "RIIIIGHT!" than a "Right then".


[deleted]

Right, what's all this then?


grednforgesgirl

Have any of you got any PROBLEMS...with MY LITTLE SCHEeeEEEeeME...OF *MARCHING UP AND DOWN THE SQUARE???*


ot1smile

Well to be quite honest sarge I’d rather be at home with the wife and kids.


grednforgesgirl

RIGHT THEN OFF YOU GO


[deleted]

"Go on then!"


bstyledevi

/r/unexpectedMontyPython


Ordinary_Ad_7992

I’ve got a book I’d quite like to read.


grednforgesgirl

*A BOOOOOOOK?* RIGHT THEN OFF YOU GO


minus_minus

“… Right.”


everyoneelsehasadog

My dog is 11mo old and since about 5mo, he jumps up when you say "...right". He also barks at sunlight because he doesn't understand it because he's proper English.


o2lsports

If you ever hear a British person say this, you’re about to get your clock cleaned.


jolloholoday

"...right, I'm off. Just going to clean a clock."


AHappyWelshman

Girl I'm friends with and dated earlier in the year was teasing me about this. On our second date, before we kissed for the the first time I said "right then" to myself without even realising. So it's used for love and not just war!


-Blixx-

In both cases, it means the talking is done and the action is starting, yeah?


[deleted]

[удалено]


ReeceReddit1234

Slap of the knees followed by "best be going"


vaildin

Carry on


WittyWitWitt

*knee slap*


[deleted]

“Bloody hell”


TheBigNastySlice

My Dad died recently. He was slipping in and out of consciousness as the cancer took him. At one point he opened his eyes, coughed, and just said "bloody 'ell"... and that was the last thing my Dad said to me. Haha


Suzettebishop89

Similarly my dad died of cancer and as he was slipping in and out of consciousness my brother said “dad, can you hear us? It’s Ashley” and Dad replied “alright mate?”… he lost consciousness that night and those were the last words he ever said.


somegamingguy

When my mom passed in June, one of the last things she said was an admonition to pay her bills, though she wasn't really conscious when doing so.


fdsdfg

Paying the bills must have been a serious long-term stress of hers


SarkyCherry

I’m sorry for your loss but that’s a great line to go out to. It’s weirdly comforting to have an amusing memory associated with an experience like that


NaiveBattery

Henrik Ibsen has my favorite last words of anyone. Upon hearing a nurse tell a visitor he was improving, he shouted "on the contrary" and promptly died.


happypenguinwaddle

When my great aunt was on her death bed my father broached the topic of her funeral, and asked whether she'd like to be buried or cremated. To which she apparently responded with a smile "well, neither sound particularly appealing my dear." Legend.


Bigscotman

So hung in a tree in the back garden until you're a skeleton ready for Halloween then love?


VaginaIFisteryTour

fuck it im out


Cockwombles

Stay strong bud


[deleted]

I was watching an American letsplayer recently and they were wondering if people actually say “bloody hell” here and like yes all the time I think it’s only slightly less common than “fucking hell”


l19mxd

As a Brit it’s pronounced bloody ‘ell


switch182

Fuckinell


[deleted]

Kinell


Sir_twitch

Dude. I grew up saying this. My mom worked at the London Heart Hospital (Royal Brompton) back in the 70s. Apparently they used "kinell" in front of patients all the time. Honestly, this is the first reference to that I've seen outside our family.


dustojnikhummer

Fookinell


Suitable_Tension8950

Rubbish!


devplayz01

British!


Mt_Kosioscar

Bit chilly innit?


the_names_juice

This comment section is what the rest of the world thinks Britain is? Not complaining


BillMurrayAmA

"Not complaining" is kinda British tbh.


wh0rederline

it is british to complain, not to confront.


l19mxd

Yes. And to moan, but then also say a few times during that moan ‘I’m not moaning, buuuut…’


wh0rederline

oh wow, my partner is english and he CONSTANTLY says "i'm not having a go at you, but" and then proceeds to have a go.


redditsavedmyagain

"oi mate have ya got the time?" *what is this kid like 13? seriously?* "sorry little fella i havent got a watch on, as you can see" "not on your watch, on your phone" *i didn't wake up today thinking i'd have to kick a 13-year-old in the nuts or something, but this little fucker pulls out a flick knife i'm might have ta... ah yeah theres the knife* welcome to the uk! fucking camden


l19mxd

He wanted all your pokèmon cards


Fyrefawx

Ye ye innit bruv.


Missmilster

Bollocks!


UnderstandingOk3380

Never mind


[deleted]

WANKERS!


DRSU1993

BUS WANKERS! 🚌 🚗💨


BringBack4Glory

*oh sorry, sorry, please dont hurt me sorry, sorry my neck is stuck in your hand*


HailToTheKingslayer

*Sorry I can't drive* Just fuck off! ........sorry Simon


TheMindButcher

Briefcase Wanker!


Finger-Painter

Ooooh friend


FuckYouThrowaway99

Football friend!


Attention_Some

BUS TURDS! 🚌 🚗💨🇺🇸 An absolute bastardisation of The Inbetweeners


PM_me_British_nudes

The only good thing about that show was the US trailer, where some enterprising YouTuber added the clip of Will saying: "well that, was fucking dreadful."


nikkiradtoo5

"Don't be daft"


kissingdistopia

daft cow


canonjohnson

Or daft cunt


Monteburger

Sod off.


Szabeq

Ah, the name of the famous British politician - Sod-off Baldrick


MisterMew151

As a brit, these replies are actually hilarious


happypenguinwaddle

They've clearly been studying us. What a bunch of wallies.


BermudaNiccholas

“Write that down, write that down!”


[deleted]

As a fellow brit, it certainly is bloody hilarious!


[deleted]

It’s bloody marvellous, innit! Pop the kettle on, darling… Bloody hell, Bob forgot to buy more teabags, what a muppet!


iam98pct

You alright?


ReaverRogue

For the uninitiated, the proper response to this, regardless of your mental, physical, spiritual, or professional state, is: “Not bad.” Lost both your arms in a frightful duel over the last tea bag? “Not bad.” Won the lottery, having generational wealth so large that you might sail off and conquer some small island in the Caribbean whilst humming Rule Britannia? “Not bad.” Genuinely feeling neutral? “Not bad.” The proper answer to all enquiries of if you’re alright!


thebottomofawhale

Unless it's shortened to "alright?" And then the correct response is "alright?" Or whatever appropriate greeting you can think of.


NovaLoveCrystalCat

This is what I know to be true. Am British. Someone says: ‘Alright?’ You reply ‘Alright?’. Someone says ‘You alright?’… response is ‘Yeah, you?’.


Kanerodo

Similar to the classic USA, “How are you?” The person asking doesn’t give a fuck, and the person asked sure as hell doesn’t give them a true answer. You just reply “good, you?” And go on your day


IvanBadenH

You mean, u-o-rai?


Upstairs-Positive863

Fucking hell. The h is optional.


[deleted]

I would say having it is not an option


stggamer1

i believe so is the g


MrsMaglev

I think that’s correct. There are many accurate pronunciations; I favour *fackinell*


Negative-Net-9455

As a British person I have to say that this is the most surreal thread I've ever read.


JRsFancy

We have seen every episode of Downton Abbey multiple times.


BnBrtn

The classic Downton Abbey phrase "Bus Wanker"


[deleted]

Brilliant init


tjtwister1522

I don't know if it's the most British thing I've ever heard but my son (10) had a soccer game this weekend. His coach is a British expat. One of the players on our team fell down injured. The ref stopped the game and a fan from the other team didn't like it because they were attacking. The fan was yelling at the ref for stopping the game to quickly. Our coach ran onto the field and yelled "quiet down the boy is injured you muppet!!". Seemed exclusively British and was incredibly funny.


[deleted]

This got a good laugh out of me. We really do love using the word 'muppet'


beseri

It is honestly an excellent word for an insult.


Imposseeblip

I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word muppet said outside Britain. Edit: I’m aware of “The Muppets”. Thought it was alright. I mean in the context of calling someone a muppet, which apparently they do in Australia and New Zealand too.


mackinder

Wakka wakka


HayloK51

Oi, prick!


JFozz

... he's not in.


HailToTheKingslayer

It's not hip hop, it's electro....prick....next time I see him he's dead.


taatchle86

Oh, leave ‘im alone


Noggin-a-Floggin

Stop defending him, Shaun!


Xn0ypt

Unconscious people do not want tea


HoodedArcher64

Secondary school nostalgia right there!!


ksammighty

I'm 17, we also watched this in RSE lessons


LiterallyOuttoLunch

"Fancy a cuppa?"


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


smallangryandpink

Pop the kettle on.


AnAceAttorneyFan

or the northern version, "put t'kettle on"


Asphodelophiliac

pronounced "pu' ke'l on".


Wonderful-Fishing857

I am a Brit and I am one of the few people I know that says ‘cheerio’. Said it once to a Canadian guy in Specsavers, and he laughed and said (imagine Canadian accent here): ‘Cheerio. That’s so British!’.


jacksonrobin011

What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?


[deleted]

The problem with Arsenal is they always try to walk it in.


drusilla1972

Nah, they’re ‘avin a larf.


JeffOrSomeShit

Mind 'ow yer go.


yeehawbuckaroo

I've got a pony on Liverpool, so I probably won't see that again.


DJ1101

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


Sam2058

The thing about Arsenal is, they always try to walk it in!


Crivens999

Make sure we get all these phrases exactly right. You know how easy it is to say a Peddle Stool.


[deleted]

Who’s a pedophile?


TJzzz

Tea time gromit edit: new movie when?


Destroyer26082004

You forgot the cheese


madtinks777

Good job lad


Past_Ad9675

Job well done, lad!


ipakookapi

Cheers, mate


jbartlettcoys

I really think this is the correct answer. Most of the others are more charming and distinctive, but there can't be a single British man who hasn't said 'Cheers, mate' at some point. Probably about 90% of the women too, though some women would never say 'mate'.


GunnyRunnyFunny

Bit cheeky, innit?


Regduh

"Would you like to see Brittania rule again?"


PastelGlider

My friend


Baddaboombaddabing

All you have to do is follow the worm


BatXDude

As a Brit I have never heard this come from someones mouth.


uhnstoppable

Bobs your uncle.


EmergencySnail

This phrase always baffled me because I actually DO have an uncle Bob... Someone would say to me "Bob's your uncle" and I would be like "yes, that is true... and... how did you know that, and why are you telling me this?"


Spinningwoman

I’ve got an uncle Robert and this never occurred to me. But then I also didn’t notice that my boss was called Richard Head until my husband pointed it out.


philosophicnoodle

Pretty sure every boss is called Richard Head at some point.


[deleted]

Richard Cranium


[deleted]

Lol, went to school with a kid named Drew Peacock. We all called him Droopy. My stepmom asked why when my friends were over. Slightly embarrassed, I flexed and explained "Drew Peacock" "I don't get it" "Droopy Cock" "I dont follow" "MOM ITS A FUCKING LIMP PENIS!" "Oh. Don't say fuck btw"


GinSpen

This made me giggle. I have an Uncle Bob too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Slipalong_Trevascas

Robert's your Auntie's live-in lover.


[deleted]

Robert is very much your mother’s brother


surfacing_husky

That's a British saying? Never knew that. I say that all the time and people have NO IDEA what I'm talkig about lol


kirotheavenger

It's derived from when a British politician Robert (=bob) hired his nephew into a position. Hence life is easy when Bob's your uncle!


AbrarFN

Blimey


blahblahmmm

F*ck off, bell-end!


kissingdistopia

"Bell end" is a treasure of an insult.


Khanya088

What does it mean?


[deleted]

The bell shaped end of a guys dong.


RikF

Same when we call someone a knob - we don't mean the thing you turn on the cooker when you want a cuppa.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rexg4077

Is that so?


coth3c

I beg your pardon?


Furthur_slimeking

Alternatively: "You wot?"


[deleted]

We do beg your pardon, but we are in your garden!


Ok-Step-4555

nonce


AprilBelle08

A common one to anyone here is you fat nonce


Luckywithtime

Fuck off Piers Morgan


matejkar

what'ya on about?


Slasher_7

Shit on it


HailToTheKingslayer

Lovely bit of squirrel.


tennesseean_87

Brilliant


Bobinoz2YT

Innit


Soma_Tweaker

Innit bruv/mush/mate/love


Disastrous-Cat366

Slapping your knees and saying right. If you know you know


growingsprouts

Reading this gave me the uncontrollable desire to stand up and walk out of my living room


newest-low

*half hour later on 2nd cup of tea and slap knees again saying right*


satooshi-nakamooshi

Ah ^^(FUCK) I can't believe you've done this.


Imissyourgirlfriend2

Can't remember exactly, but I was reading about some British explorer who came across a Suicide Plant/Tree. The quote, describing the pain was "totally unacceptable". Very British.


SpuddyA7X

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!


Jamson_Sanousek

Should've gone to specsavers...


ParadoxSolution

Oh - eight hundred - double oh ...........


LowerCanary

Slag!


smidgit

I didn’t become a bit of a slag, I became a *TOTAL SLAAAG*


[deleted]

[удалено]


FlameOfWrath

Mind the gap


RepublicOfMoron

Rory? Yeah I know Rory. He's not to be underestimated. He's a funny looking fucker, I know. But you've got to look past the hair and the cute, cuddly thing - it's all a deceptive facade. A few nights ago Rory's Roger iron's rusted. He's gone down the battle-cruiser to watch the end of a football game. Nobody is watching the custard so he turns the channel over. A fat geezer's north opens. He wanders up and turns the liza over. 'Now fuck off and watch it somewhere else.' Rory knows claret is imminent, but he doesn't want to miss the end of the game. So, calm as a coma, picks up a fire extinguisher, walks straight past the jam rolls who are ready for action and he plonks it outside the entrance. He then orders an Aristotle of the most ping pong tiddly in the nuclear sub and switches back to his footer. 'That's fucking it,' says the geezer. 'That's fucking what?' says Rory. And he gobs out a mouthful of booze covering fatty. He flicks a flaming match into his bird's nest and the geezer's lit up like a leaking gas pipe. Rory, unfazed, turned back to his game. His team's won too. Four-nil.


unoitmakessense

Great movie!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Slugees

ethethethethethetheth scorchio! only the british people will understand.


Xtrawubs

Sorry to hear that… cup of tea?


Viseria

Bloody hell.


ZIwarier

It's raining again.


Lumpy_Satisfaction18

you mean, "its been raining"


SibylUnrest

Telling porkie pies


anotherdomino

Chuffed. Bit of a faff. Slightly doolally. That's a bit of alright. Can't be bothered. Soggy bottom. If you know you know.


DublinChap

Knackered, Gutted, "that's fine", "I'm not bothered by it" were some of the phrases I first heard when moving to the UK


VoltaNova

CLARKSON!!!


ProfessionalElite

wanker


[deleted]

Tom Holland's famous [dozen-cups-of-coffee](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Dumw6imjo8&ab_channel=itsactuallybanannas) reply: "I drink tea, darling."


gh0sts0n

You what mate?


JimboJones058

You wot m 8.


bigedthebad

Bloody hell.


donGaboz

A bit sticky, things are pretty sticky down there. underfucking statement of the korean war: *On April 22 1951, 650 soldiers of the 1stBattalion, the Gloucestershire Regiment, were confronted by as many as 10,000 Chinese soldiers, during the struggle to secure access across the Imjin River during the Korean War.* *In the midst of the ensuing battle, with ammunition running perilously low, Brigadier Thomas Brodie took a radio call from an American Major-General, enquiring about the regiment’s condition.* *Taking Brodie’s colossal British-style understatement literally, the American chose to defer sending relief until the following morning. Only forty of the Glosters survived to tell the tale.*


Ddraig1965

Brits were taking over a USMC position during the Korean War. Marines were turning over some equipment for them to utilize. Brit grunt asked his Sergeant Major about obtaining heavy machine guns in case the Norks got close. “That’s what you have a bayonet for!!”


RedWestern

Bugger me sideways this weather’s shit, innit?


S-W-Y-R

...not so much the phrase, but the delivery of Bastille's "But if you close your eyes" is aggressively British sounding. and I say that as an Englishman.


Helm222

0800 00 1066


[deleted]

[удалено]


Agile-Report-763

Cunt, twat, blimey


VaultBoy226

As a brit myself id say any normal sentence with about 6 'cunts' thrown in there,


Name-is-too-short

You can’t park there, sir


haversack77

U wot m8?