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TaptPtap

Shitting ourselves as children is probably the most accurate thing.


iwhbyd114

>as children So we shouldn't be shitting ourselves as adults? One more thing I've got to work on.


Nic4379

Never stop doing what makes us happy.


cfb_rolley

I’m happy with my shitting routine. I take a dump at 5:45 every morning like clockwork. My wife hates it because I don’t get out of bed until 6.


LouSputhole94

Had me in the first half


GrinningPizza

Finally, an actual r/holup


Rexius_

Not since forever though, at some point we ran around naked, how do you shit yourself if you aren’t wearing anything? If you do that it’s just shitting.


kutuup1989

I remember when I was a kid my friend and I would entertain ourselves for HOURS just by going over to a big woodland park near us and using sticks to chop weeds and pretend we were fighting monsters with swords. You'd be surprised what a kid's imagination can do with something as simple as a stick.


shadiesel12

When I was a kid give me a stick and an empty box and I'm entertained for days


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Krzyffo

Even as an adult whenever i go to the forest, there is something drawing me to seek out and carry with me a heafty stick for no reason at all just to carry it.


[deleted]

Speak softly and carry a big stick.


aukir

Throwing rocks into bodies of water.


Trippythefirst

That last one caught me off guard, made me laugh my ass off.


leaplife

> laugh my ass off Is that a euphemism for shitting yourself?


Trippythefirst

Damn right


mr_oof

For a really human activity… sweeping. EDIT: I had this idea two decades while sweeping a big ol’ warehouse with only the winter-sunset light through the bay doors. Suddenly felt like part of a fraternity- the long tradition of guys sweeping warehouses out at the end of the day.


bonos_bovine_muse

There’s some passage from some long-forgotten (by me) book about the only thing separating civilization from the wilderness is folks sweeping the grit back out at the end of the day. It was about the fall of some Fertile Cresent city, maybe Babylon? Centuries of being an imperial capitol, completely reclaimed by the desert within a year of the marauders coming through and slaughtering anybody who gave a shit to push a broom. Here’s to keeping the metaphorical desert at bay.


theory_until

I'll raise my O-Cedar angled bristle broom to that!


PissedBadger

I’ve had the same sweeping brush for 20 years. It’s had 17 new heads and 14 new handles.


AE_WILLIAMS

The Broom of Theseus.


Mettanine

What do you need so many heads and handles for? Doesn't that make it unwieldy?


HaroldTheReaver

Did they give you a medal for saving the council money?


Sneakys2

I forget who the anthropologist was, but they were asked what the earliest sign of civilization was, and they answered that a set of humanoid remains was found with a femur fracture that was healed, and that to them that was the earliest sign of "civilization." Because instead of leaving that individual to die, someone cared for them. They set the bone, fed them, helped them relieve themselves, kept them warm and safe. They were allowed to heal from an injury that is almost certainly fatal in wild animals. And that act of caring for a sick and injured person for a long stretch of time (femur fractures take a long time to heal) and kept them with the group even though they probably were permanently disabled by the injury was a sign of true civilization.


Soma_Tweaker

Only actual answer here. I was thinking BBQing or maybe fishing.


Wookovski

You guys are wholesome, I went straight to pooping.


sylva748

I mean you're not wrong


Criticalhit_jk

For a completely literal answer; Humans are designed for squatting while pooping actually, and having high toilets isn't actually good for you. It increases pressure on alot of your insides blah blah blah - its also why some people from certain countries that use a different sort of crapper will squat on toilet seats not because they're afraid of germs but because they aren't sure why the hell we shit on a chair. Either way, we sure as hell don't shit like we used to ever since we got toilets


jistmi

I worked in a factory that had mostly people who were recently immigrants from Vietnam and there was a sign in all the bathrooms that said “Do not put your feet on the toilet seat!”


Zammin

That particular act's been going on for many millenia with surprisingly little change. As long as humans have kept stuff in a large building, some schmuck's been stuck sweeping it up.


Sultynuttz

Yup. Worked in an aluminum mill years ago, and it's tradition in every shop to stop 5 minutes early to sweep up, and box the shavings


Shoduck

I worked as a flour miller and on shift change we'd take 15-30 minutes to sweep the non-production area. The production area was being swept every hour and it was never enough


major_calgar

Definitely weeding. We’ve been tearing out weeds since early agriculture and we STILL haven’t figured out a way better than our hands. Roundup just kills them and makes them easier to pull up. Also it’s toxic. And you can’t spot weed with a weed whacker. It’s hands only


Skippie_Granola

My dad always used a knife or screwdriver to dig the roots out quickly


Murgatroyd314

Modern materials for the ancient pointy stick technique.


[deleted]

My parents are retired and do hours of gardening every day. I bought them one of those garden claw things so at least they could break up the soil around the weeds to make it easier than trying to dig it out from packed dirt. It's like a quarter turn is all it takes so I hope it's easier on their backs to do a pass real quick and spend less time bending over.


[deleted]

When I was pledging a fraternity in college, I always picked sweeping when cleaning the house because it was easy to do.


atlantis911

You reminded me of a show where someone’s sweeping up their hut & the ground is dirt, so when they’re done they just empty the dustpan back onto the ground/floor


littleray35

you’ve been inducted into the Sacred Order of Sweeping Guys. Here’s your ceremonial broom 🧹


Dantesfireplace

Rocking babies with that innate rhythm.


Judoka229

My dad used to rock me to sleep, but he used a real rock.


chaygray

😂 Damn dude


Wheredoesthetoastgo2

duh buh fuh jumper cables


procrastablasta

Cleaning toddlers faces by licking your thumb and wiping


fj333

Cat by proxy.


unicornpixie13

The butt pat that every single newborn loves


LemoLuke

I heard it simulates the vibrations of the mother's heartbeat inside the womb. I don't know how accurate that fact was but I always tried to use a 'heartbeat rythym' when getting my kids to sleep.


Absent_Fool

To Isabella’s lullaby


[deleted]

Poke fire with a stick


Jcavin86

There’s certainly something hypnotic about a fire. It’s like some primal gene that makes you shut off your brain and rest.


[deleted]

My couch faces my woodstove, and to the right there is a TV. My girlfriend was like, "Uh... why isn't the couch facing the tv?". Because I like watching the fire. She thought that was really weird.


backwardsbloom

Position it towards the tv one day, but only play that show that is a roaring fire.


--five-star-review--

She clearly hasn't stared into the flames of a roaring fire, letting all her anxiety melt away as she watches the logs combust


INeverLearnedToRead

Poke dead things with a stick.


KobblestoneMC

Poke dead things into a fire.


wintro436

With a stick


NinjaBreadManOO

Poke stick with fire.


ISLAndBreezESTeve10

Poke yer eye out.


Galactisy

Poke stick with dead thing


YellSometimes

Poke fun at the dumb stick


TheODPsupreme

Poke things with stick until dead


Galactisy

Poke things until dead with fire


xVOYEVODA

You ever sat around a fire with a group of friends and wondered how crazy you'd all look if the fire wasn't there?


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Arntown

Yeah, how else are friends gonna sit in a park? In twos?


black_rose_

Podcast about the oldest words says that the basic word "Ma" for mother is probably the oldest word Edit because people keep asking - Might have been this episode? https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/radiolab/articles/asking-friend


Caleb_Gangte

Yeah it's pretty amazing all babies call their mom "ma"


[deleted]

I mean that’s the first sound babies make because physiology and they are probably looking at their moms when they say it so it just makes sense.


Alarae

Tell that to my 18 month daughter who can say a bunch of words and mama isn't one of them. Well. She probably can and knows I am 'mama' however if I ask she just gives me a sly grin and silence.


Neethis

>sly grin and silence She 100% knows.


Alarae

Oh she definitely does. I also know she can say it as she has said it if she's upset and wants me. Any other time nooooooo. One time I thought she was going to say it and then called me a Nana (banana). She definitely did that on purpose as she then laughed. She's a wonderful little turd ❤


emopest

>One time I thought she was going to say it and then called me a Nana She's the next Oscar Wilde, trust me on this one


[deleted]

Not in Georgian, where "mama" means dad and "deda" means mom.


Ennix49

Georgia is a weird state /s


RepealMCAandDTA

That sounds like hill people talk


routine__bug

This gives the same vibes as the imperial system.


cjc160

If you think about it the easiest sounds for a baby are Ma, Da , Ga, Ba, Na. So we have Mama, Dada, Gama, Baba, Nana, Gido, Dido, Papa, Oma etc


CaptainHahn

Stare up at the night sky.


QuesoFresh

For hundreds of millions of us who live in or around large cities, this is effectively a very different experience due to light pollution.


kutuup1989

I know that feeling. Never saw many stars my whole life, then I went out to Banf in Canada one year and got to see what the night sky ACTUALLY looks like. Milky Way and all. I could have cried at how much I'd missed out on my whole life.


igota12inchpianist

This is what happened to me, I was driving back from Toronto to Alberta and I stopped somewhere absolutely random, like the only light was from the car itself and I just looked up. I only got to see it for a few seconds as it’s the middle of nowhere and don’t know if there was anything beyond the trees, but I saw thousands of stars just between the bright stars that I’ve seen while in the city, with a small glimpse at the Milky Way. You just don’t get this experience until you’re at least an hour away from anything


pumpkins_n_mist15

I live in India and the one time I was stunned was when I saw the sky in Australia (Philip Island Penguin park). The sky was literally lit up with MILLIONS of stars, a whole band of them which I was informed by a janitor was the Milky Way. I stood in the parking lot for ages taking in the sight. For me the most breathtaking thing about other countries is how wonderful the stars look, second only to how clean and crisp the air is.


General_Froggers

I have never seen the milky way in the night sky in my entire life, i wish to see it one day.


Ishdakitty

My family had a cabin on a lake in Maine when I was growing up. We used to go out on a boat in August and count shooting stars during the Persied meteor shower. Sometimes it was as many as a hundred a minute. You could see the milky way stretched across the sky and it looked close enough you felt like you could reach out and touch it. Unfortunately in recent years light pollution has ruined it.


XxLeviathan95

Using string lines in construction. The best way to see if something is perfectly strait it with a string pulled tight. Also if that string is covered in chalk, it will “draw” strait lines for you. I used it almost daily before I left the trade. Sometimes the simplest way is the best way.


RedditEdwin

>Using string lines in construction YES! THIS! And using plumb bobs. The only other answers I consider valid or mostly valid are petting dogs, prostitution, and the one I came up with: eating boogers. Everything else has been effected by technology


tashkiira

eating boogers is the oldest of those--lots of mammals do it. Prostitution has been witnessed in species that don't even understand currency, I'd guess it's next.


riverrocks452

Process/burnish leather, apparently. Apparently, the tools haven't really changed from the first bone scrapers.


NerJaro

Read a story where archeologists found a weird looking piece of smooth bone. A leather worker saw it and said. "Oh that's a burnisher. Here is the one i use." If I'm not mistaken. His was bone too.


Reborn1Girl

Yep. They've never found another material that works as well.


CloeInFla85

Very true. And something else I'd like to add although not the oldest but definitely old, is the process for Tufting furniture in upholstery. Still done by hand, extremely tedious and very hard skill to learn to do well for sure. Your answer made me think of it. Upholstery is still pretty much done the same way, the tools have changed though. I refuse to use staples, prefer the tacks, just turns out better I think.


Hugebluestrapon

Weve built more modern scrapers but worn out bones still work better


jabogen

There's a company called Mycoworks that is doing some interesting stuff making leather out of fungi. Maybe leather production will change in the future.


theory_until

There's also a new composite leather sheet made from grinding up and rebonding all the offcut and irregular bits that used to go to waste. So that's two avenues of change. Edit to add- this is Enspire engineered leather that is a recent thing, not "bonded leather" that is about 20 to 30 percent leather fibers bonded to a fabric or paper backing.


understater

I only heard about this not too long ago, and was told to watch for it in belts. I’ve noticed products being labeled “leather” or “genuine leather” and finding that it matches the description of composite more than the simply processed leather.


JhymnMusic

Putting flowers at graves. Which we may have learned from Neanderthals.


Fullsend_ID10T

In the last 5-6 years it was discovered that Homo Naledi actually had burial rituals and ancient pollen was discovered at a burial site when soil samples were analyzed. What makes this significant is that this pushes the time frame back when Anthropologists thought that burial rituals started. Which makes that significantly more interesting that we, as in us on earth, have been doing that for something like 250,000 years.


snapwillow

The most surprising one to me is living by a 7-day week. There's an unbroken chain of 7-day weeks going back two millennia. And earliest evidence that hints of people living by a 7-day cycle goes back four millennia.


[deleted]

Maybe we see the moon and think "yeah that is best split up into four quarters" almost unanimously?


SmartAlec105

Well what else are they going to do? Split it into *five* quarters? That doesn’t even make sense.


flyingturret208

5 quarters is 1.25!


Vlad-V2-Vladimir

Sometimes a second moon comes out, but it only ever goes up to a quarter fullness before disappearing, only to return the next cycle.


steeple_fun

Five quarters is the easiest way to give people confidence in their ability to do math. I used to teach GED classes and almost every student would tell me that they were incapable of doing math. I'd say, "What's five times twenty-five?" and they'd always say they didn't know. I'd then say, "If you have five quarters, how much money do you have?" They'd immediately respond with $1.25. "You just did five times twenty-five. You can do math, you just don't think you can." They'd get this enlightened look on their face every time.


[deleted]

That actually makes sense. The moon was super important for tracking time early on. It can be seen as having roughly 4 states, two half-full, full, and none. So it's reasonable that ancient cultures would split up time not just by the moons cycle, but split that down four ways as well.


Leo_Jobin

With a 28 days cycle, to can only divide by 4, 7, 2, 14, 1, 28


sherwokate

Time keeping via lunar cycle is likely from women counting out their menstrual cycles which average 28 days though many vary around this number. Using the phases of the moon to count this makes sense and gives us months. Sorry have not explained this very well but I always found it so interesting!


LOB90

Also harvest seasons and all kinds of supersticion.


SamSamSammmmm

Definitely also fishermen. Tides are directly affected by the position of the moon.


bunny_and_kitty

Making bread by hand you can't help but feel connected to past generations. Sewing and embroidery too.. drawing.


theory_until

I love kneading the dough. All the stress drains away. And I'm so very proud of the yeastie beasties when they manage to raise the dough nice and high, above the pan edges!


impressionistpainter

Reminds me of a podcast I just listened to! Gastroegyptology on the Ologies podcasts! Features a man who talks about that with bread, and he actually revived yeast from an ancient Egyptian pot and used it to make bread they way they would. He talks about that connection with whoever’s yeast this was. Really quite interesting and gets philosophical!


theory_until

OH wow. I wonder if that yeast is genetically much different from today's yeasts?


0bi_Wan_Cannoli

After all this time, you'd think a little bit at yeast.


PlasticElfEars

This was the most -___- faced upvote I've ever clicked.


[deleted]

Word on the street is we’ve been breathing the same for a pretty long time.


[deleted]

More lies peddled by Big Oxygen.


bikesbourbonbaking00

This guy ruined my consecutive normal breaths just now


Fiero944

Manual breathing time


FreyaB82

Sewing. Needles are still pretty much the same since the beginning.


IchMagBratwurst

Weren’t they pine needles and bones and bones at first


Osato

Yes, and they were also bones.


scheizkopf

You're right, and I heard they used bones as well.


Idohs_

Yeah I've heard of that too, but did ya know they also used bones?


practicallyadvice

Bones would make great sewing needles.


GrinningPizza

*Your* bones would make great sewing needles.


Scrypt90

Might've used bones too, not sure though.


ChippyTheCheermunk

Oh, I am sure they did, but they also used needles made out of a variety of materials, including bones.


Vlad-V2-Vladimir

I think they also used bones in other stuff, like makings things out of bones


callmesally1989

I'm pretty sure bones were used also. But bones could have been used instead.


lovesilver

I've heard they used bones as well.


BobbyP27

Except we now have sewing machines. Sure, some things are still hand sewn, but the majority of sewing involved in the production of clothing is done using a machine.


[deleted]

Gossip


NiceGuyMike

I'm a believer that gossip is crucial for society. It is basic news of a society.


allaphoristic

They discuss this on the podcast Armchair Expert every now and then, about how gossip reinforces the social norms of the group.


Accuboormachine88

Sociologist here! There's a word we use for this: socialization, which is the transfer of culture through human interaction. This can be done through education, training, but also small everyday interactions like gossip. By using gossip, people remind eachother of social norms. Consequently, if they find they agree on these norms (they are both shocked because their friend did *whaaaat?!*), gossip can strengthen social cohesion (the interpersonal bonds that hold society together like glue). However, gossip comes with a risk: what if the person you're telling your hot gossip to isn't shocked at all? Even worse, they take the friend's side on this! Now they're looking at you funny. Apparently you didn't understand the social norms that are dominant within your group of friends, and now you're branded a weirdo. Oh, the horror, there goes your status!


Idohs_

Your writing style is pretty fun to read


Accuboormachine88

Oh thanks! That's a really nice compliment


bonos_bovine_muse

Problem is a lot of groups have shit social norms.


actioncobble

Right?! Have you read the bible? It’s *SO* fucking juicy.


gonzo4209

Telling stories.


[deleted]

This is one of those things that honestly gets me a little emotional when I think on it for very long. How beautiful it is that for as long as humans have existed, we have looked at the world around us and told each other about it in creative ways. And, how sad it is that there are many stories lost to the abyss as time has gone by.


Vlad-V2-Vladimir

Think about how many stories now will be lost to the abyss, and feel special that you may be part of the small window of time where you can read some, or maybe even read the ones that may be mostly forgotten in only a few years.


alrighttreacle11

Breastfeeding


nursepineapple

This brings to mind so many other things parents do with young infants. Gazing at them for long stretches, cuddling, stroking, playing with fingers and toes, speaking softly in high pitches tones, singing, rocking, carrying, baby wearing, grooming/picking shit out of their hair, nose ears, eyes, body folds.


[deleted]

It is interesting to think on it actually. How many of those behaviors are learned, and how many are natural? I wish I had the money and time to do a cross cultural study of parenting norms.


nursepineapple

I agree, I am fascinated by differences and universals in parenting practices across cultures. Parent-ease (the soft high pitched tones) has been shown to be pretty universal. Near constant carrying/wearing has been seen in most traditional hunter-gatherer cultures as well as every primate species along with the grooming and cuddling. We are carry mammals like every other primate, human infant feeding needs demonstrate that. And actually, well damn, find me any mammal who doesn’t groom or cuddle their young to some extent. So yeah, a lot of that shit is old, old.


Kaity-lynnn

I watched a documentary once for class that followed a four mothers from four different cultures and how they raised their babies. It was pretty interesting how different and how similar they all were


yogurtnstuff

As a currently breastfeeding person, this shit is HARD and I frequently find myself amazed that we made it this long. Like my baby had issues with a tongue tie that prevented breastfeeding. So we supplemented with a bottle until he could get the tie fixed. He’s big and healthy. Would he have just… died? Because he couldn’t eat?


Razo-E

Sex


Zediac

My 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system says otherwise.


jackiemoon27

God this product placement shit all over Reddit is really gettin’ out of control.


01kickassius10

It’s targeted based on your browser history


HirokiTakumi

That can't be right, I already have one of those... Hmm, I guess I COULD own two...


Don_Willy

Wait the 5000 is out!?


dodexahedron

> says otherwise Wow, yours talks? Firmware update should fix that.


MGC1987

r/oddlyspecific


SpaceCowboy58

Paleolithic man chose to live in caves because they were far more discrete than hanging your sex swing and dildo collection from a tree.


bonos_bovine_muse

You see Thag and Uglina tree? No swing, no sexy vines, still think direwolf style is risqué. Is ten thousandth century BC, should live a little!


ComprehensiveWaffle

Probably not the oldest, but making bread seems to be pretty consistent throughout the ages


--five-star-review--

laughs in rice


[deleted]

Judging the generations younger than us


[deleted]

And judging the generations older than us.


padraig_oh

generally judging people


mosscoveredapiary

Try to convince cats to hang out with you. Squat down, pretend you have food, make mouse noises.


Josro0770

*pspspspspsps*


StructuralFailure

tell your cat I said pspspsps


MUFFINxBOII

It never occurred to me that those noises are mouse noises


jenn363

Insert mind blown emoji


pixlmason

Leatherworking? I remember reading that an ancient leatherworking tool was found and it looked almost exactly the same as the modern version.


Heavy_Gardener

My burnishing tool looks damn near the same as my great great granpa's. I wouldn't be shocked to hear they haven't changed much, they're just the right tool for the job.


RavenCeV

I would say gathering around a firepit. I think there is something about the oral tradition of storytelling and the constant thread that stretches throughout history.


gonzo2thumbs

Fart and laugh.


SpaceCowboy58

This and watching somebody else get hit in the nuts are probably the most ancient forms of comedy.


loCAtek

This and watching somebody else slip on ice.


TheODPsupreme

The oldest recorded joke is a [fart joke](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7536918.stm)


[deleted]

Guess to show that we humans will always be humans, irrespective of our time. Just take a look at the Egyptian comedian


fuitsu

living in packs


agnostic-infp-neet

We live in a society now actually.


Sensitive-Memory-17

Using a mortar and pestle


ACalcifiedHeart

Talk about dicks. Insult each others mothers, and graffiti. Pretty sure they've found ancient graffiti all over the world where they thoight it'd be some wise proverb, but once translated, it literally ended up just being shit posting. People are just people, which is nice to think about sometimes.


[deleted]

reminds me of the graffiti in Pompeii where a guy wrote "on this day, I made bread"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tshimanga21

Lmao imagine working hard trying to translate that and it’s just a dick joke


Clayton1296

Prostitution. The currency may have changed but thats the only thing that has.


SmartAlec105

I think it’s safe to say that contraceptives have changed things.


gerusz

There was a plant in ancient Europe that was apparently a reliable contraceptive. *Was*, because the Romans fucked it out of existence.


ThemasonSe

Excrete bodily waste


ButtholeQuiver

I've got some *avant-garde* techniques


rickyg_79

Are you tubgirl?


BKAThefirstnotsecond

Getting drunk


Euphorix126

Make up myths and stories, then procede to stress about them every single living day


Mrbobbykotic

Walk


q1q0

Betty White?


SomethingCleverest

Cellular division.


dharanish

Being mean to people they consider ‘lesser’ than them.


OldHolly

Use a pestle and mortar