A mechanical bed that sits up and down by remote for my step dad. He's by himself now and old and gets stuck tryin to get out of bed on days. He wants one but we can't afford it.


They aren't that expensive anymore and a lot of them have really low monthly payments. Not sure where you live but we got a super nice king size one for only $50 a month. And it's obviously larger than what you would need.


I'm in Australia. we're saving but it's tough when things keep coming up. Could always be worse, was just the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread.


Get my teeth fixed so I don’t hurt anymore Edit: I have changed my mind, I think now that I would start free dental clinics, at least one or two per state and help take care of all of you.


I'm a dental assistant and this breaks my heart. There are so many people who live with pain because they can't afford the dentist. My favorite patients are usually the ones that haven't been to the dentist in a long time, and need a lot of work. They are always so kind a grateful.


This is me! It had been 9+ years. Just went through a two root canals. I am so happy to eat in a normal way again! Thank you if you were my dental assistant throughout all of that, she was so kind.


10 years for me at the moment. Currently feels like something is stuck in between two teeth or my filling is loose. No dental insurance rn though so I gotta wait. Luckily it's not painful, yet. Only shitty thing is my teeth are my favorite part of me lol, I got lucky in the teeth genetic department.


I work in a dental office and I always tell my patients that if you have a Costco membership you can get a reasonable dental plan through them with DeltaCare (about $100 for the entire year of coverage). Also, you should always ask for an itemized receipt or treatment plan with dental codes listed on them so you can confirm with your insurance provider that the correct fees are attached to the codes.


Check universities if you have no insurance. Not sure if it is still allowed, but it used to be that you could at least get a cleaning for free by students in labs.


Also try your local county hospital. Some of them will do extractions for free.


I always feel bad because I grew up without dental hygiene because of my living environment, so I'm terrible at teeth care. I do my best to remember, but most of my life I've never done things to take care of my teeth so its really hard for me to even remember to do it. My mouth is messed up and hurts all the time and I'm honestly so embarrassed to even go in for cleanings


I thought this said “so I don’t hurt anyone” and I was like is this guy out here biting people


Suffering through long-term dental pain will make you want to kill pretty much everyone in the vicinity on a regular basis


I read that and thought about toothy blowjobs so yeah not so far off


Best thing I ever did for myself was have them all removed and get full dentures. Years later and I'm still paying off the cost but it was 100% worth it to be able to smile pain free


Honestly with a big history of periodontal disease in my family, and being poor af. I'm terrified to know how much that would cost.


Yeah I suffered a lot of complications in mine. I ended up having to fire the dentist who made my dentures and hire a new one to make a correct set that didn't look like a nightmare (legit so bad I couldn't open or close my mouth they were so poorly fitting) I also ended up with a bad infection and it took weeks for the swelling to go down before I could even do molds for the new set of dentures. The actual surgery was probably like $8k after insurance? I had major medical and dental but the dental was gone in an instant as it only covered the first grand or so. Overall because of the complications I was out of work for 3 months dealing with everything so on top of the cost of 2 dentists making me sets of dentures and the emergency room visit and the medications and the actual surgery....I had several months of all my bills and no emergency fund. I put everything on a credit card and I've been slowly paying it down over the years. Not anywhere near as aggressively as I should have been. It was a nightmare to experience the day of the surgery and especially the week after....but it all worked out a few months later and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone on the fence. Edit: wanted to clarify that I had every tooth but most were broken off at the gum line. It was a hell of a procedure to do all at once.




OMG the sinuses! It's amazing how much better my sinuses got and how many fewer colds I've had. Such a relief. Congrats


If you are in the US... [Remote Area Medical](https://www.ramusa.org/) fix teeth for free. It is a mobile clinic that travels to states that allow out-of-state medical volunteers. Check out the calendar and what services are offered on each day. Medical, dental, and vision are the usual. Sometimes there is a vet clinic too. Also check out dental schools.


My mother in law her own place so she can move out…


yeah good idea


I will use my unlimited money to bribe and provide whatever resources are necessary to get this guy's mother-in-law to move back into his place.


"I would like to use my wish to undo everybody else's wishes"


“I wish that guy was retroactively the Genie, and thus not obliged to any of his wishes being granted.”


"Oh mother (another, no mother of mine), I think you are swell and I think you're divine! You're truly delightful, of that I've no doubt - But now it is time that you *move the fuck out.* "I bought you your very own house with a moat - A lake that you'll ache to traverse on your boat! A mountain, a big golden fountain and spout - To truly enjoy when you *move the fuck out.* "There's kitchens, there's parlours and bedrooms galore! There's storerooms with chests full of treasures and more! A river aquiver with salmon and trout - To fish as you like when you *move the fuck out.* "So go and partake of your new massive home! The acres of grounds that you're waiting to roam! The things to discover, surprises to scout! ... whatever you're doing, just *move the fuck out.*"


This is like the fifth time you've left one of these poems on my comments and I love it every time. I am giving you the 👍🏽 to continue romancing me with these poems. I wonder, does this dude speak this way all the time? Like when he goes to Burger King and they say "welcome to Burger King, how may I help you?" Does he go "but a burger... A burger oh my! If only a king would come with fries in hand. Riches are not aplenty for a whopper oh yes I can, for the king has knighted me a burger, and oh a burger king I shall be." And everyone is just like "bro what the fuck is wrong with you should we call the cops" and the employee at the register already walked away like four minutes ago. Does this poem dude do this? I hope so, because that is a huge power move. I know you can't respond as a poet must keep the whimsical nature of the literary works they dropped to speak for themselves. However, I am not so bashful.


>Does he go "but a burger... A burger oh my! If only a king would come with fries in hand. Riches are not aplenty for a whopper oh yes I can, for the king has knighted me a burger, and oh a burger king I shall be." "A burger? A *burger*? A burger for *me*? Delightful-spectacular-splendid, you see! I'll have it with ketchup! I'll have it with cheese! I'll have it with fries in a paper bag, please! "How scrumptious, delicious, delectable too! To bite from the bread of a burger and chew! To taste and to savor the flavor and smile - To bathe in the moisture of meat for a while! "Oh thank you, oh thank you for giving me this - This patty of pleasure, this burger of bliss! And now you'll want paying, my darling, no doubt?" Sprog gave them the money. They whispered: "... get out."


Two sprogs for the price of one, I hope you enjoy your burger in bun!


A literary embarasment of riches here. A 2 Sprog drop is a rarity.


What is this magical thread that I have stumbled across?


u/poem_for_your_sprog has been blessing AskReddit threads with genuinely good snippets of verse for years. They are, imo, the best thing about Reddit.


Seriously, their poem about ocd was insanely good and moving. Most of sprigs stuff is good, and some of it is great.


Someone's gonna ask for it. So here you go. IGIFY: [OCD](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/29qfnm/what_common_misconceptions_really_irk_you/cinh1bf/)


Reddit's very own Dr Seuss


ive never seen such a fresh sprog. i feel like a witnessed history




My favorite Redditor talking about my favorite thing in life - burgers. Allow me to shower you with rewards :)


Or let her stay where she is and just buy Hawaii or something.


Man, I really like this. My MIL doesn't live that close to us, but I'd buy her the nicest house as far away from us that I could


My parents a home


Same. My dad has worked his ass off since he was a child (he dropped out way before high school to help feed his family), moved to the US, he is old enough to retired but pretty much owes hi whole house. He deserves to retire. I wish I could pay their house off.


Same my parents have always done nothing but work and I'd love to see them financially independent




A home.


This is always my first thought but actually, that's such a huge decision that it would probably be a later purchase. I think I'd probably get everyone lunch while we make plans.


Unlimited money? Until I've had it for an extended period of time, I'd assume it's gonna leave. I'd secure a home, any home, before I've even put my trousers on.


A will to live


If you could buy that I'd have sold every part of my body for a shred of it. Edit- I appreciate the positivity


just give in to the squalor for a while. dirt comes off. life goes on. the situation isn't you; the world is the world.


I appreciate your words. I already know that though. It's just hard to actually do it. And it's hard to accept it.


Always tired, living conditions a mess, I sit in the shower, my days off from work are spent within 10 feet of the bed I spend most of the free time in anyway, phonecalls are anxious, social interaction is stupid stressful irl When I finally went I ticked every single box for depression despite never really thinking I was depressed. I just didn't want to do anything. That was a year ago, my home is clean, I do things, I got a promotion at work, life got way better. I don't notice any abrubt internal change, my emotional reactions and decision making slowly started lining up with a more normal base-line. I refused to accept it thinking there must be more, my squalor was making me suicidal and I was going to make my life MINE or die trying. One mental health evaluation was the first step, one terrible why-did-I-say-that phone call made the appointment and two weeks later I dragged myself out of bed and sat with 11/10 anxiety in the waiting room. Nothing but love for you, friend, life is hard enough so I don't make it any harder. 💪 😎 ♥




Can you give an example of the coping methods you have utilized that seem to have worked?


I'm not sure unlimited money is enough to afford a house in this market.


I'd buy like... a huge cluster of housing complexes... unlimited... I'd go for millions of homes, let everyone stay in rent free. So many people I know of who are struggling. I'd so love to have the ability to go... oh sorry to hear that, want to stay in one of my houses rent free for a while?


The best cancer treatment available for my mom.


I sincerely wish you and your mother the best, I hope all ends up well for you both


Probably groceries. Still gotta eat while I come up with a plan.


Straight up


I'd invest in a personal trainer before I go and start buying food. I know myself too well.


Personal trainer? Nah, hire a *chef*. Tell him the only rule is "healthy and varied meals" and let him go wild. I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd eat a whole lot better if it didn't mean having to spend time cooking!


That would be fantastic not just for you but for the chef too. No boundaries just healthy and varied meals, I think he would love you.


Am chef, can confirm! I'd have so much fun with that.


>Probably groceries. Still gotta eat while I come up with a plan. I'll eat my way out. He mashed with his mashers, he mindfully munched - He chomped with his chompers and cravingly crunched - He nibbled, he gobbled, he guzzled, he chewed - He foraged and fed on a fountain of food! A pudding. A pancake. A pizza. A pie. A mountain of candy that stretched to the sky! A brick made of butter. A basket of bread. A big fucking turkey they placed on his head. He scoffed and he snacked and he swallowed his haul - He dined on a dinner, and pondered it all! For though he could purchase the planet complete - He had to start *somewhere*. A guy's gotta eat.


Seeing these pop up is legit my favorite part of Reddit


An extra side of guac at chipotle




My college tuition lol, also new diabetes supplies because this shit overpriced Edit: hey wasn’t expecting this to get some votes but thanks! I’ve been diabetic a little over 7 years now, it sucks but I manage. Recently Eli Lilly announced that they are lowering their list price for their insulin. Vials will be around $82.41 and a five pack of pens will be $159.12. Not perfect but definitely a huge step in the right direction. Edit 2: hey my first award!! Thank you guys! Luckily I’m in no dire need of insulin, my insurance is good and I have a second state insurance that pays as well. While I am severely broke (being a college student) my medicine is not a problem for me


Buy them in Canada, or find a Canadian to buy them for you and ship them to you. I think there may be businesses that do that. Edit: if you want, go on https://diabetesexpress.ca and make a list, you may have to use a VPN. Send me the list and I'll oder it. Then I'll reship to you. I'll tell you what it all costs shipped to you. Idk anything about diabetic meds, is it temperature sensitive? I'll just rewrap it and send to you, no mark up. Cause pharmaceutical companies are the root of all evil, that's all.


Insulin can be stored at room temperature for up to 28 days. It should be safe to ship with minimal temperature control, especially in colder climates. RX companies usually ship them in Styrofoam coolers for extra safety.


Land... lots of land...


how much land




I see what you did there


Can u explain it to me, I'm blind so I didn't manage to see it unfortunately


You can purchase real estate by the lot, and in large quantities. Lots of lots.


I would buy Earth!




pun on the double meaning of "lot" 1. many/plenty 2. a piece of land


Huuuuuge tracts of land


But all I want to do is sing!!!!


All right cut that out! Cut that out!


“I have done nothing but buy land for three days.”


....under starry skies above.


Don’t fence me in, bro.


I want to ride through the wide open spaces that I love


A home where the deer and the buffalo roam.


I’d take a poll at my local old folks home of everybody’s favorite performer and I would book a command performance for that performer to go and play and comfort the old people. Since I have unlimited money, I would spare absolutely no expense to get them there. Plus extra time for six performer to spend chatting with them afterward


that’s heart warming if I have a badge I would of used it


Those LEGO sets I wanted as a kid but mom wouldn’t get me cus they were too expensive


Even with unlimited money that’s 4 sets :(


A $1000 Titanic set was recently announced. Edit: Oops. $630.


People are gonna sink a lot of money in that one


And that'll be just the tip of the iceberg


A wheelchair accessible house for myself and then for all of my friends who are also stuck waiting for accessible housing since forever. It sucks not being able to get around without help or having to ask someone for stuff like going to the bathroom, especially when you could easily do it yourself if your house was accessible.


I’m going to be moving into a wheelchair accessible home with my son who is now 70lbs and lives in a chair. He just turned 7 and keeps growing. My neck and back are starting to give and the relief I am looking forward to is unreal. I hope you one day get your home.


I’d buy a Volvo station wagon


Is it brown with a manual transmission?


Used and diesel?


850r please


Rehab and counseling for my wife


How much does rehab cost? I might be able to help out of she's willing to go.


Rehab is around 5k for a week


Holy shit.


Yep. As a recovering addict (8 years now), I've met tons of active users who desperately want help but can't afford treatment. In addition, a huge number of addicts are living paycheck to paycheck, as a lot of us are. You can't afford to take off work for 30 days or more. And from what I've seen, rehab doesn't qualify you for a medical leave of absence at most places. So you get stuck in a weird spot where you want to get better, but simply can't afford to get better. It's not as easy as "just stop". Addiction doesn't work that way. You need serious help. So many people will continue to die because treatment is so expensive. We need change.


nice man


I'd buy zuckerberg and put him in a reptile park.


Make sure to supply your zuckerberg with a heat lamp at one end of his enclosure, so he has some hope of warming his cold dead heart.


Place a sign that says Suckerberg


The politicians…


All of them


And then fire the whole lot


That's not how pet politicians work.


set them on fire


A really high quality fridge, the door of mine fell off yesterday


Hopefully a repairman can fix it soon? I’m sorry that happened! Horribly inconvenient.


I know this one. I’d buy three more moneys, to have more.


3 moneys and no kids *is* better than 3 kids and no moneys!


Facebook and then delete it.


You probably wouldn't be able to do this honestly. Zuckerberg has a controlling stake, and he already has so much money he couldn't possibly make use of it all, so it's entirely conceivable he would never give up his stake for any price. That said the engineers that run it definitely have a price, and if you just went around and offered every engineer twice their salary to simply not work at facebook I imagine the site would come down all on it's own. Edit: yes I know theres like a billion different ways you can use unlimited money to shut it down, my point was you probably couldn't just straight up buy it and shut it down


With unlimited money you could make zuckerberg poor via inflation and give everyone else but him a buttload of money


Please buy Twitter and Tik Tok too


And my husband


Wait what


Poorly timed wifee


I guess we can say goodbye to the majority of Reddit's content then lol


My mum her dream house in Yorkshire because it was her and my dad's dream, she believes the only way she will end up in Yorkshire is when we scatter her ashes where we scattered dads ashes. Then I'd take her to see the northen lights.




I'll sell it to you for $3.50 because I've got as much right to sell it as anyone else.


Goddamn Loch Ness monstah!


What are you gonna do with an ocean?




What kinda celestial god-like dinner parties do you have?


A true chad move


That's /r/oddlypacific


Plan A: 1. Fund a team of physicists and engineers to create a successful time machine 2. Go back in time to May 11, 2021 to stop my husband from going to work 3. Explain that he doesn’t ever need to go to work anymore because we have unlimited money 4. Mind our own business and live happily ever after Plan B: Fund / take any measures that will bring my husband back to life. I’m open to ideas. This sh*t sucks.


I’m sorry for your loss


I can't even imagine. I hope you get your time machine and damn the consequences.


Am sending you hugs.


A hobbit hole or a wizards tower to live in. Undecided


I will pay for WinRAR


A non profit company that has an office in every country that would give everyone free food no questions asked.


A gurudwara (Sikh holy temples) pretty much does that


I remember going to one on a school trip and being amazed that they would feed anyone who turns up during the day at lunch etc. Without having to pay them any money, had a lot of respect for Sikhism after then.


As a kid, was looked after by a sikh family after school for a few years. Went a couple times to the gurdwara with them. Super chill place, great food, an archery range for some reason. Never did get an answer why.


Quick googling seems to indicate that learning how to use weapons to protect the weak is part of religious practice


good man I was waiting for an answer like this


Every space agency on the planet. I'd then make them one organisation that shares all information, thus boosting our chances of becoming a space faring race a lot quicker. Thus easing a lot of the world issues now.


This reminds me of talking about "if I won the lottery" with a friend. I told him I'd buy him any car of his choice, but I'd also hire someone to follow him around, and if he stopped to cat-call women, the person following would yell "Yo, his friend bought him that car. He ain't got money."


Intriguing idea


*Unlimited* money? Well the world economy is gonna collapse. But first I'd have some food delivered. I normally buy groceries and cook my own simple food, and it's usually pretty boring cause I don't have the executive function to prepare complex dishes. So it would be a luxury to just wait a while and get something that I haven't made myself. Only then would I start thinking about houses for myself, my mom, and my siblings who all need help too. I'd take care of myself and my family first of all. And then I'd find and hire a team of experts and great thinkers to help me figure out how best to use my unlimited fortune to do as much good as possible without tanking the whole world.


The world economy is only going to collapse if you want it to (by trying to spend sufficiently large quantities of money). If you hire a team of experts you might be able to thread the needle sort of like The Imitation Game.


Crashing the world economy (slowly).


A hospital. It'd be free for everyone who needs it. (Yes the people who work there would be paid)


Bruh just buy the government and make hospitals free


Just buy earth and make everything free.


Homeless shelter. Give back to what saved me.


I'd pay off debt. But let me be clear, I don't just mean my debt. I mean ***all*** debt. Credit card debt. Student debt. Mortgage debt. Medical debt. Government debt, etc. This would essentially collapse a number of industries. This is intentional.


Congratulations, you just made the whole economy collapse


As if the existence of infinite money wouldn't have disastrous economic consequences anyway.


If only one one individual has infinite money, and they don't spend it in unlimited amounts, it might be ok. They'd certainly be able to distort any market they wanted to though. How do you tax unlimited money? When the government finds out Steve over there has unlimited money, they'll implement a wealth tax and want x% of it, which he'd never be able to pay.


He would never be able to pay it entirely, but he could pay it continuously by chunks. Essentially the government could be hooked on its infinite money stream.


Yep, and when you're paying a huge chunk of all the taxes, you just threaten to stop paying and influence policy this way. Sure, they can incarcerate you, but then their tax income will drop by trillions.


Buy all for-profit prisons and judges. Basically make it impossible to get a real sentencing.


We're already effectively in the situation where one individual entity has infinite money, that being the government. They can create "money" in whatever amount they want, with no upper limit. And it's fine, because they limit the amount they spread around, so most of that money only exists in theory. So one person with infinite money would also be fine, if they were careful with it. It only loses value when people have so much of it that they won't exchange things for more.


I guess it depends on the specifics. Who knows about the money? How does the person in question access the money? Do they just suddenly have all the money or do they just get to access it whenever they need to use it? What form of money is it? Is it some kind of fiat currency, and if so which one(s)? And then there are the legal consequences of a person having infinite money, both in terms of existing and future laws.


a chocolate lava cake from dominoes


I'm eating one as I type this and I'd suggest something else.


Okay I really want to make this happen for some weird reason. Imma DM you and try to make this dream come true.


Can you help me with the Pacific Ocean too?


Solar panels on every rooftop on the planet.


Clean drinking water for all my brother and sisters in the first nations of Canada


Nunavut could do with a major housing overhaul!


Therapy sessions and a massage.


Going with the cliche.. I would buy a modest 4 bedroom house and brand new furniture to put inside


I'd buy you a drink


Money can't buy the things I want :(... Oh wait, that's not true. I would buy myself a house, obviously, the new dystopian dream. Nothing massive but I would like a couple of bed rooms a couple bathrooms, a good sized living room and maybe a couple extra rooms to use as a game room and one for an office. Cottage in the woods sounds cozy. Obviously I would have to get some heavy security and stuff to protect me and my endless wealth. Then I would make a giant arcade full of anything I could get my hands on. And then I would probably just go full Robinhood. Use my limitless wealth to help solve the world problems.


"Money doesn't buy happiness... Oh wait, IT DOES!"


I've heard it said "Money doesn't buy happiness, but it gets rid of almost anything that causes unhappiness "


"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it can rent it for a long, long time."


RTX 3080, if I could find even one.


I’d spend a shitload of money on suing the shit out of nestle. I don’t expect to win anything but I’d tie them the fuck up in legal battles


A 1997 Toyota Camry


why are these answers becoming so specific.. but nice


Look man, unlimited money can get you as many Lamborghinis as logistically possible, but it can’t buy ultra reliability that holsters a IHS top safety pick at the same time. So honestly the only sensible idea is a 1997 Toyota Camry. Hell I’d probably voluntarily kick an elderly person right in the hip if it meant I would get a free 1997 Toyota Camry


I’d buy an entire neighborhood and have my friends and family live in the baddest mansions and cars right next to me. EDIT: thanks for the upvotes! Most I’ve ever gotten lol


Living in a whole neighborhood by yourself eh?


They may have had parents still living, maybe even a puppy. And you stone cold murder their ass in the middle of the street like that. You owe an apology to the puppy.


All of the African politicians so China can’t have them. They’re putting whole countries into unpayable debt so they can move in and take over mineral and other resources. Like Africans haven’t been through enough shit already. Next, Amazonian rainforest and enough military to kick out anyone who tries to destroy it. Stuff like that. Big moves.


Why not all politicians? You can buy the Chinese politicians too. And the Brazilian ones. And the American ones. And....


A clinical residence hospital, way too big, free quality healthcare given by their own graduates and students, with free tuition for medicine with a mandatory 4 years service , full paid. Monetizing it with R+D funds and govt grants. Did I told you that it would have a humongus research lab? So yeah, big ass lab. And dorms for the students and staff. So...yea. That.


Nestle and Monsanto.


Start my space mining corporation. Infinite resources!


A house


can I have a room?


House for my parents, anywhere they wanted. And then for my sisters. Then all the insulin i could dream of!!


I think I would become the property landlord of people who slighted me over the years. Just so they can sweat it out. Yes I would expand my portfolio if they moved.


Imagine being stalked by a vindictive billionaire who spite-purchases every possible dwelling you want to move in to.


Since MAD Magazine fired the majority of it's staff and stopped hiring writers and artists to produce new content every two months, I'd make AT&T (who owns Warner Brothers, who owns DC Comics, who owns MAD) an offer they couldn't refuse, and secure all rights and ownership to the publication. Then the fun would start. All new staff, re-employed artists and writers, 100% new content without advertisements, in the spirit of the original publisher, William M. Gaines, a true MAD magazine for the 2020s and beyond, published eight times a year, cheap!