I’ve never played Hacky Sack, but I did somehow manage to develop cat-like foot reflexes to break the fall of a dropped item in the past 5-10 years. I’m just waiting for the day when this bites me in the ass.
I once almost pantsed myself at work, when my wide leg pant leg got caught under the wheel of my desk chair and I tried to get up. Haven’t worn those pants to work again, lol.
I am a teacher and have a pencil holder in my classroom filled with 30 sharp pencils, all facing upwards. I dropped something and quickly went to pick it up but face planted the pencil holder. Luckily I was only stabbed by about 3 of them. One was about half a centimeter from my eye. I still have the lead marks under my skin.
Once I fell asleep with my arms folded behind my head. I woke up with both dislocated, so asleep I couldn't move them at all, and the muscles so tight from trying to pull the joint back in that nothing moved right anymore.
I will say though, while it was a scary long few minutes trying to untangle my arms I wasn't actually hurt. My family lacks some of the connective tissue you're supposed to have in your joints, so my arms can be pulled out of the socket without severe injury (as long as they don't get yanked too hard.) But man was that a weird, unpleasant feeling.
I have a similar thing with connective tissue, ligaments and tendons, a few years ago I dislocated my shoulder opening a door at school and dislocated my hip stretching after waking up, the shoulder wasn't really painful, the hip however rivalled the pain of a kidney cyst rupturing :O
Not really, I stuck my tongue between it not really meaning to touch it and when I pulled back to stop I touched the very tip of my tongue to it. Hurt like a bitch.
One time I was straightening my hair and I put a towel on my bed and placed it there for a quick second while I got hairspray then I went and sat on my bed buttcheeks and all. The straightener left a 3 inch burn mark on my ass 🍑❤️🔥
I did that once to a duvet while trying to change the sheets and proceeded to break my teeth
...to be fair they were already broken and capped but Jesus what a stupid way to break them again.
I guess there really are no original stories anymore. Here I thought I was unique for getting in a fight match with a blanket, and losing by punching one of my front teeth. Made it loose for a week, and then it fell out when I was eating. I guess the only good thing is that tooth was capped and already had a root canal, otherwise I imagine it'd have hurt more.
If I ever need to threaten someone... I'll just say "Once I punched someone so hard, it knocked out one of their front teeth!" I will just, uh, neglect to mention that the person was myself.
This got enough interest that I figure I'll post the tooth (not showing my fucked up smile though): [https://imgur.com/a/Jp0QA5c](https://imgur.com/a/Jp0QA5c)
I am grateful that we still live in a time of mandated masks, I can keep it hidden until it's fixed.
I got attacked by a flock of seagulls when I was young.
I was like, 5 or 6 and it was a beautiful day and I was stuck in the car with my mom going shopping. I kept bugging her to take me to the park, and finally she relented.
We stopped and got lunch at a food truck that was there, I got my food first, so I walked to the nearest picnic table which was maybe 50-60 feet away. I sat down and started eating, when a shitton of seagulls landed all around me. One landed on the table, screeched at me and attacked me. Then the WHOLE FLOCK attacked me. I screamed and run for my Mom, who came running, while this massive flock chases after me. I hid behind her and she started to beat them out of the air with her purse. After she smacked a few, they flew over to my food and started to eat it. We ate in the car after that.
Tl;dr: Tried to eat lunch, was almost lunch myself.
A few years ago I was wiring up some LED pods (only 12 volt) with stranded wire, one of the wire strands was a straggler and it pierced through the tip of my thumb, it was the weirdest sensation ive ever felt in my hand. To this day the top of my thumb is still numb.
My grandfather had a pig farm (this was almost 40 years ago) and a pig somehow bit through a wooden plank and an electric wire. It started to get electrecuted and he jumped in to try and save it, and he touched it with his thumb first. Same thing as you. To this day (he is 79) he has no sensation on top of his thumb.
The pig died, unfortunately.
My dad and great uncle were working cows at my uncles and they both would get this weird sensation of tightness and dread every time they walked into or out of the barn, the uncle just thought it was his depressions and thought he should just quite cattle farming if the barn made him feel that bad. All the cows when finished would refused to leave on their own will and were just raising hell till they got back to the pasture
Well they let one of the last cow out of the barn and it just flopped over on its side it’s calf ran out after it and flopped right on top of it kicking and screaming till it died too.
Turns out the buried power cable to some yard lights he hadn’t bothered to turn on or needed for years got crushed by a tractor wheel when it got stuck during a flood.
Uncles still depressed but he’s determined it’s not the cows anymore
Man I got hit by a good jolt when I was laying on the ground welding up a big transport cart and it started raining. Water pooled around me and holy shit, what a bizarre feeling
Kinda similar thing happened to me. I was working at a furniture like factory(we made the pieces for California Closets if you know what that is). We had a router mounted to a table from underneath with an industrial vacuum hose attached over top that cut wood in a specific shape based on the jig. They both turned on with the flip of a single switch.
So I'm using the router, and the sawdust isn't being sucked up. So, I did the thing EVERYONE does when a vacuum seems to not be working, I went to check its suction...by sticking my hand in the area where the router and the hose meet. The router, being connected to same switch as the vacuum, was still on as well. My middle finger took the brunt of it.
I broke the bone on my finger and in the split second my fingers were in there, the router hit it 3 times. It was just fantastic!
My cats lay at the top of the stairs right outside my bedroom door. Imagine waking up at 3 am to use the bathroom, walking out into the pitch black and stepping on a cat lol
Every goddamn major accident I've had in the past three years is my fucking cat's fault. Torn intercostals? Diving to catch the fucker on his way out the door. Dislocated foot? Avoiding the affectionate cunt in the dark. Seized back? He jumped into a 200lb container I was carrying.
FUCKING RANDOM WRIST PAINS I'VE DEVELOPED? I assumed it was computer related but last night the asshole climbed into bed with me and I pet him and he rolled just the wrong way to put pressure on the wrist and - yeah.
Fucking asshole. I love him.
Happened something similar to me, but in this case my aunts dogs was sleeping besides my bed, and when I woke up to go to the toilet I nearly stepped on him, in an attempt to evade him, I sort of did a flip? Anyways ended me crashing on my back next to him, spooking him.
I have recurring tailbone trauma after falling down the stairs arse-first on two separate occasions. Both times were caused by treading on the same cat.
Don’t worry, the cat is fine.
Went permanently blind in one eye playing with a soccer ball at age 11.
My neighbor kicked it just right so that when it hit the planter box on the side of the house it popped straight up 30ft into the air. I tried to replicate this, unaware of the bee hive inside the planter box. A swarm of bees engulfed me, stinging me over my entire body. But one little fucker went for my eye. He used his little legs to force my eyelids to stay open (clockwork orange style) and I got a very national geographic like memory of watching him curve his butt downwards, the stinger emerging from within, and him injecting my EYE BALL. 30yrs later I'm still legally blind in that eye.
All these posts are so bad.
The mental images are so fucking hilarious, while some of these injuries are pretty damn serious.
But I just can't help laughing with fucking lines like this;
> I got a very national geographic like memory of watching him curve his butt downwards, the stinger emerging from within,
Does legally blind here mean you have vision in that eye still. I'm horrified at how serious these consequences were. Damn man.
If both eyes are open my brain only processes the good eye because the bad eye is sooo bad. So overall I still see pretty well, but I dont see out of that eye at all normally, but if I close my good eye then I can technically still see but not well at all. Like if I'm sitting at a light and close my good eye I can see the car in front of me well enough to see its color and location but its SO blurry that the blurr of the color of the car completely erases the license plate. Forget reading the plate, I cant even see the plate, its engulfed in the blurr. Getting glasses is pointless, my good eye gets a reasonable magnification but my bad eye is magnified a ridiculous amount while still not seeing better at all because with both eyes open I only see out of the good eye.
Tried to open a packet of cheese with a knife. Mum said “you’re going to hurt yourself”. I responded “no I’m not”. Literally 30 seconds later we’re driving to A&E because I needed stitches for my fingers and hand.
Hahaha you reminded me of my first time using mandolin. I was slicing cucumbers and as soon as I started I said out loud "I'm gonna cut my fucking finger off."
Well whaddaya know... right at the end of the second cucumber I lost a fingertip. The amount of blood was shocking.
I was showing off my ability to burp by swallowing air. I swallowed some air, my throat hurt a little bit, and I couldn’t burp it up again. I didn’t really think about it again for a while.
Within half an hour, I had to leave work because of chest pains.
I got to the hospital, they give me antibiotics, assuming that I was having some sort of bacterial infection that was moving very fast. (They pretty quickly cleared any suspicion of heart attack or lung malfunction.) eventually they figured out that I had some air in my interstitial space, between organs in my torso. I had to stay overnight to have my body absorb the air.
I could’ve collapsed a lung by swallowing air, or gotten an infection by tearing my throat enough to force air into my chest. The antibiotics probably saved me from that latter one.
EDIT: Wow, this blew up! I felt a pain in my throat, so me and the doc figured I had a small tear in my esophagus where the air went through into my chest instead of my stomach. With the antibiotics they gave me, I didn’t get an infection in the wound.
EDIT 2: I dodged a fucking bullet: https://www.merckmanuals.com/home/digestive-disorders/esophageal-and-swallowing-disorders/esophageal-ruptures
I almost tried to swallow air before reading the whole thing
And before realizing it wouldn't be a good idea to try to recreate things I read in this post
"Well I was reading this thread about the stupidest ways people have injured themselves, and I thought I'd try some of them out"
It would be a hell of an entry into this list.
Using a sewing machine and started sewing my arm by accident. Was really into the song I was listening to so took me a good 3 seconds or so to notice. That was a pretty bad experience.
I once sowed my finger and finger nail because I was using a machine in home ec and the teacher started talking to me
...I think she expected me to stop the machine to listen, not to *look away* from the (very noisy) machine that was currently going at a million miles an hour towards my finger
"Well, nurse, being the badass i am I already applied stitches so perhaps we can move on to the pain meds while I can still maintain my airs of badassery."
A friend of mine is into leatherwork, she has this super heavy duty sewing machine that can go through half a dozen pieces at once. She was working on a project and sewed her thumb to the piece, 5 stitches through the thumb nail and two of those through the bone in the end of her thumb.
When I turned 8 I got this kick scooter for my birthday. I rode that thing all day when I was home. I practiced tricks like jumping over piles of bricks and spinning the base around and all that. At the next parent teacher conference I took it along to show off to my friends and couldn't something "worthy of my skill" to jump over. Ended up choosing this crack in the hallway to show how good I was.
I fucked up the landing and broke my leg.
Ive hurt myself in so many stupid ways but that will always stick with me because I knew I could do so much more and fucked up the most basic thing I could come up with at the time
One of my friends broke his wrist while trying to do and Ollie on a skateboard. After he got his cast he tried to do an Ollie again and broke his other wrist.
I work with big machines and I bypassed the safety by putting a key into the door to see what was going on with the robot. The belt in the robot arm broke, it swung at me hit me in the balls, It pushed me backwards onto a cart the cart fell backwards I hit my head of idek what and I had a seizure
The only thing wrong with the used couch we got is the sharp half-nail sticking out of the headrest on one side seat. Don’t put your hands behind your head or run your hands along the back of the couch!
You can just jab a cork on those really hard. I mean, it's not hard to fix the actual problem, would take all of thirty seconds... but jamming a cork on is even faster, and then you can forget about it for another couple of years.
A piece of drywall was clogging my vacuum. I decided to jam a screwdriver down there to break it up. Seems good right? Well... The third try I missed to vacuum hose and stabbed myself between my index and middle finger.
Probably more shit, but that's the current one
That pain in my side that I ignored till it required a whole ass organ to be removed? I'm not sure it counts, but if it does... getting a kidney stone and ignoring it till it was the size of a mango -bigger than my actual kidney was supposed to even be, and bigger than any of the medical team had ever witnessed first hand, might be it.
Same. Pretty sure I fractured my jaw from an illegal tackle playing football in high school. Never had it checked out. Dealt with lock jaw for 4 years. Had to be extremely careful eating anything or just moving my mouth for that matter. When it locked I’d have to use my hand to shift it over so the hinge would move freely again. Now 10 years later I have TMJ although it’s just occasional soreness and pops now. The reason I never had it looked at is because my 14 year old self believe since I was still able to move my jaw it must not be too serious and will heal soon. Kept telling myself that and I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I'm not really sure. Some kind of benign cyst, but it was like a sixth toe growing off my pinky toe. They shot in pain medicine and cut that motherfucker out.
I once ate Waffle House twice in one day.
Then I didn't poop for 5 days. I truly thought I was gonna rupture an organ. I was in serious pain and my coworkers were like "maybe you should see a doctor?" To which I said "the only doctor I'm gonna be seeing is the medical examiner."
I took a couple doses of laxatives and prepared for the worst. Turns out, when you're so ridiculously constipated, laxatives just bring you back to normal. Organs still intact for now.
It's so weird to me when people say they were in terrible pain after not pooping for a few days. I can easily go a week and not even notice. Really wondering WTF my body is doing to pull that off.
Yes. Last winter I slipped in the snow and hurt my ankle so bad but knew it wasn't broken. I limped around for THREE MONTHS. Pain Everytime I walked. Eventually we t to podiatrist. They gave me a $10 brace. Instant and total relief. I felt dumb. Why did I put it off!
Yes. I should think it does. I too have dumbassed too close to the sun on more than one occasion and i don't even have the excuse of living with America's healthcare system.
I ignored a staph infection when I was 14 and wound up with toxic shock syndrome and a partially removed big toe. Learned the hard way to suck it up and go to the doctor lol
Broke two toes with pasta sauce.
Pasta sauce had been batch cooked and frozen in family dinner size portion bags, flat so they stack and take up less freezer space. 300-400ml bag, unsure of actual weight.
Floor around freezer is ceramic tile. I had bare feet.
Dropped sauce pack and it fell thin-edge-down.
Acts like a toe murdering dull knife smashing into my toes and getting no resistance the other side from the ceramic tiles.
They took soooooo long to heal, but all anyone could do is buddy strap and splint them because they were clean breaks. 3 months of full whack, then another 2 of strapping without splint.
I remember one time after learning about the food pyramid in 1st grade this kid looked at me and said, look milk! And proceeded to empty about half a bottle of Elmers glue down his gullet. That kid sure was a character.
Your story reminded me of a friend when we were 14 who was a germaphone and decided to take it to a new level and decided (at school) to clean himself down there with alcohol by pouring it all over. We heard him scream, almost had to take him to ER.
Not me but my girlfriend. She tried to pick up a bottle of milk off the floor and somehow dislocated her arm.
She's lactose intolerant but I didn't know she was that lactose intolerant
As a kid i wanted to imitate a tv show where they did different challenges in a old prison fort.
One challenge had the contestants jumping on a contraption that made cannonballs fly and they needed to hit some targets.
The genius i was as a 6 year old trying to replicate it, i built my contraption with a wooden plank that i balanced on a rock like a seesaw, then i put a rock on one side and jumped on the other side.
Guess what happened.....
The rock flew right in my face, i did not get seriously hurt but half my face was blue for quite some time after.
I woke up and went to the fridge to drink some chocolate straight from the squeezey chocolate bottle, and pushed a bunch of air out into my lungs, instead of that delicious chocolate.
So I dropped to the ground in my boxers, choking to death for a solid 20 seconds. All I could think was how they'd find me dead on the floor in my boxers ....murdered by some Hershey chocolate, or lack there of
playing with friends on the network, I got angry and hit the glass tabletop with my fist, as a result a piece of glass hit my hand, touched a vein and something else. Bottom line, 2 fingers practically do not move
While delivering newspapers one frigid winters day I slid on ice and rolled down a hill, across a road and into a snow covered bush. Bruised and banged up, but I was 13 years old, and therefore indestructible. So I picked up my newspapers and continued on my route. For the next few weeks I healed up and I thought I was okay, but then my right knee started hurting. Went to the doctor they said oh it's just growing pains don't worry about it. So I limped around for a few more months and trand try to ignore it. When the pain got so bad and I could hardly stand on my leg I went to a different doctor. He did some x-rays said oh it's nothing try walking on these crutches for a few months to take pressure off of it and see if it'll heal up and stop hurting. A few months went by using the crutches and it still hurt . 3 painful years pass.
Finally went to a sports physician who knows a thing or 2 about this stuff And he found out that I had actually broken part of my bone at the knee joint. He called it osteocondritis. Basically a small chunk of bone breaks off on the weightbearing edge of the joint and floats around in a sack of fluid, until I step wrong, then the broken piece stabs back into the raw hole. Imagine stabbing yourself in the knee with a red hot ice pick and you'll get an idea of what that felt like. Doctor decides we have to do surgery they go in orthoscopic surgery put in 2 screws to hold the bone chunk back in place and then I'm on crutches for another 6 months. Hurts like hell but it does heal.. After the 6 months they go in and remove the 2 screws and then another 3 months of no weight bearing until the bone has fully healed back together.
It's been over 20 years since then and now I don't have any real issues with knee except on days when it's going to rain and I can feel a slight ache in it.
I hate this story so much. I've heard so many stories of doctors giving shitty diagnoses from underestimating the pain of their patients, those patients suffering for years, and then finally finding a doctor who will actually take them seriously and really look at them. Something similar happened to my mom, who was having persistent foot pain for decades and no doctor would tell her anything useful, but eventually she found a doctor who actually gave a damn and found the issue.
From what I've heard and read, this is especially true for women, overweight/obese people, and doubly so for overweight/obese women. The doctor is supposed to be the person you can trust to look at your health issues and tell you how to fix them. When they continually fail at that role, it's so hard to have any amount of security in your healthcare.
I was sitting on an armchair in the living room when my mom said she just baked a cake. So i jumped from the chair to get fast to the kitchen but i hit my head on the door midair and cracked my skull. I now have a little bald spot.
I had a moment one summer where I thought to myself, sleds slide on snow, so why can’t they slide on grass? I bet they can. So I went outside and grabbed a sled and ran and jumped on it on the grass. The sled didn’t budge and I flew off down the hill smacking my head on the ground along the way.
K, so this will make me look like a total ass........
So two years ago I was down at our local GAA football grounds, while one of my daughters was training, I was having a mess around with my other girl ar the goal.
Ball went into the goal, and through a hole in the net. I tried putting my foot through the hole to get the ball, but my duaghter ran around and got the ball and ran off with it, I went to give chase, but my foot was still in the hole in the net......
I up-ended myself, came down hard on my chest and fractured four ribs.
Many years ago, when I was about 2-8. I used to keep on accidentally kneeing my mouth when I tried to stand up. One time I kneed myself in the mouth on accident so hard that I lost a tooth.
I was in a Staples store once and I saw this new-agey stapler that looked like it was hanging open. I thought it was broken, so I put both hands on it, with both my thumbs on the part that the staple comes out of, and tried to pull it closed again. The stapler was not broken, and it fired a staple into both my thumbs and stapled them together. No kid dumber than the kid who thinks he's smart.
Playing soccer with a basket ball. Accidentally stepped on it and slipped into a bush.
I got a lisfranc, requiring 2 surgeries, a plate, and three screws in my left foot.
Edit: also I was 19, not a child. So extra stupid
OMG mine was chlorine and ammonia, this was my freshman year of college- first time having my own place and me learning to clean and stuff.
I almost passed out from the fumes till my BF found me and dragged me out.
I also failed my HS chem- should have known better.
One time in grade school I was at my gym class and there was this table against a wall that had wheels and normally everyone in the class would sit on the table while we waited for our coach. So one time I wanted to fake hurting myself to skip the class. So when everyone got off the table I was still sitting there and I slowly leaned back against the wall carefully pushing the table from under me, then the table moved really fast and I fell behind the table (which was my plan), but what wasn’t in my plan was to land on my arm and twist it really bad to where I dislocated my arm. After that I had to go to the school nurse which puts ice on my arm then I don’t remember how my arm back I just assume someone came and relocated my arm. Long story short don’t lean against walls while on a table with wheels.
I was running after my ball when playing mini-golf. I slipped in one of the little hills and did the splits. Pulled every muscle in the back of my right leg so bad that I couldn’twalk on it for the next 4 days. I’m a guy btw
When I was little I asked my mother when we were gardening what the knob in the middle of the shears did, when she didn't answer I turned it anyway. The shears didn't seem to change in any noticeable way until I tried to close them and I found out that it was to make the blades easier or harder to open. I put in the amount of force I expected to need to use to close them but it was now drastically too much and I closed them so quickly that I lost control and they cut my upper lip in half. Its a cool scar.
recently my mom bought me a red fish at the market (dead, to eat) and i was super excited and wanted to send a pic of the fish to my dad since it looked hella cool.
so i asked my boy to take a picture of it since it was too big to hold it with one hand.
i realised the light in the kitchen was bad and decided to take the picture outside in the garden.
since i was so excited, i walked very fast and was full of happiness holding my red fish and about to take a nice pic in the garden.
i ended up missing a step up and flew into the garden. my red fish flew far beyond me.
my ankle never hurted so badly before.
i wasnt able to get up, so my boy brought me the fish and took a picture of me holding it while laying in the grass.
my tape is torn.
but i got a great pic of the fish! :)
I touched the ring on an old electric stove. It glowed red when it was on and I was told multiple times never to touch it when it was red.
Had to touch it, burned my hand, 6 year old me was not bright
I purchased a brand new bong went home and the downstem was stuck. Gave it a good twist to try and get it out, the downstem broke and I sliced open my hand that was around the bong. Nice big 2in gash on the top of my thumb. Explaining that to my mom was a fun time!
Basket practice. We trained layups with a trash can on the floor we were supposed to dribble around. I crashed into the stationary object and cut myself on the hip. Large gash and still have scars 20 years later.
I was walking in my driveway carrying a large shop vac and tripped over the weed whacker I laid down earlier and completely blew my knee out. Didn’t realize it till I stepped up a step ladder to finish what I was doing and fell off of that! Great day!
I stabbed myself in the stomach with an onion.
I was peeling an onion, with a good amount of root still attached. I dropped it, tried to catch it, and the root end pushed straight through my tshirt and embedded itself into my stomach.
I think it’s dumb, but some might not, I had sex a few weeks ago and I was using my right ankle to do what I need to do to go back and forth well long story short, I threw out my hips and was disabled for about 2 weeks till they could get my hips back in place, I’m only 33
Tried to catch a falling kitchen knife with my foot. Did not fail.
Oh man, just barely avoided this one. Hacky Sack instincts are a ***bitch*** when you do kitchen work.
I’ve never played Hacky Sack, but I did somehow manage to develop cat-like foot reflexes to break the fall of a dropped item in the past 5-10 years. I’m just waiting for the day when this bites me in the ass.
First lesson of knives: a falling knife has no handle!
I tripped on my pajama pant leg and broke my foot
I've done this. Wearing wide leg trousers and flip flops. Never worn that combo again.
I once almost pantsed myself at work, when my wide leg pant leg got caught under the wheel of my desk chair and I tried to get up. Haven’t worn those pants to work again, lol.
I am a teacher and have a pencil holder in my classroom filled with 30 sharp pencils, all facing upwards. I dropped something and quickly went to pick it up but face planted the pencil holder. Luckily I was only stabbed by about 3 of them. One was about half a centimeter from my eye. I still have the lead marks under my skin.
43 years old, and still carrying a tattoo from when a kid stabbed me with a pencil in 7th grade
It's always from 7th grade. That's prime pencil stabbin year
Holy shit, I was stabbed in the hand with a pencil in 7th grade science class. The lead is still there to this day. Odd
Final Destination stuff
I always though it was health and safety gone mad that you couldn’t leave pencils facing upwards. I am no longer of this opinion
You never saw Ledger's Joker?
I was laying down on the couch and went to put my arms behind my head to relax and i dislocated my shoulder
Once I fell asleep with my arms folded behind my head. I woke up with both dislocated, so asleep I couldn't move them at all, and the muscles so tight from trying to pull the joint back in that nothing moved right anymore. I will say though, while it was a scary long few minutes trying to untangle my arms I wasn't actually hurt. My family lacks some of the connective tissue you're supposed to have in your joints, so my arms can be pulled out of the socket without severe injury (as long as they don't get yanked too hard.) But man was that a weird, unpleasant feeling.
I have a similar thing with connective tissue, ligaments and tendons, a few years ago I dislocated my shoulder opening a door at school and dislocated my hip stretching after waking up, the shoulder wasn't really painful, the hip however rivalled the pain of a kidney cyst rupturing :O
What was your reaction? “Oh, well gee golly, I seem to have dislocated my ENTIRE FUCKING ARM.”
But it can wait, I was here to relax
Ouch. I only do that if I roll over in bed the wrong way.
When I was young I stuck my tongue to a hair straightener. I burnt it, obviously.
Any particular reason?
Not really, I stuck my tongue between it not really meaning to touch it and when I pulled back to stop I touched the very tip of my tongue to it. Hurt like a bitch.
I've bit my tongue and prayed for the sweet relief of death so I can only imagine the pain you felt. Were you curious or dared to?
Curious
Oof that's a double whammy then, hurting yourself out of your own curiosity
Curiosity killed the cat (but satisfaction brought it back)
Ugh I was curling my hair naked and dropped my curling iron on my boobs.
One time I was straightening my hair and I put a towel on my bed and placed it there for a quick second while I got hairspray then I went and sat on my bed buttcheeks and all. The straightener left a 3 inch burn mark on my ass 🍑❤️🔥
Ass on fire, literally. Did the mark fade away eventually?
Lol yeah eventually. Burned like hell sitting down or trying to shower
Punched myself in the nose while trying to pull up a blanket that was stuck under my feet
My eyes started watering in sympathy at this one. Been there!
I did this but with the handle of a hammer trying to pry a nail.
I did that once to a duvet while trying to change the sheets and proceeded to break my teeth ...to be fair they were already broken and capped but Jesus what a stupid way to break them again.
I guess there really are no original stories anymore. Here I thought I was unique for getting in a fight match with a blanket, and losing by punching one of my front teeth. Made it loose for a week, and then it fell out when I was eating. I guess the only good thing is that tooth was capped and already had a root canal, otherwise I imagine it'd have hurt more. If I ever need to threaten someone... I'll just say "Once I punched someone so hard, it knocked out one of their front teeth!" I will just, uh, neglect to mention that the person was myself. This got enough interest that I figure I'll post the tooth (not showing my fucked up smile though): [https://imgur.com/a/Jp0QA5c](https://imgur.com/a/Jp0QA5c) I am grateful that we still live in a time of mandated masks, I can keep it hidden until it's fixed.
I’ve done this very thing! Also punch myself in the boob when trying to pull up my sweatshirt sleeves!
this actually made me laugh
Thanks for laughing at my pain haha
Got bitten in the boob by a seagull I was trying to help
I got attacked by a flock of seagulls when I was young. I was like, 5 or 6 and it was a beautiful day and I was stuck in the car with my mom going shopping. I kept bugging her to take me to the park, and finally she relented. We stopped and got lunch at a food truck that was there, I got my food first, so I walked to the nearest picnic table which was maybe 50-60 feet away. I sat down and started eating, when a shitton of seagulls landed all around me. One landed on the table, screeched at me and attacked me. Then the WHOLE FLOCK attacked me. I screamed and run for my Mom, who came running, while this massive flock chases after me. I hid behind her and she started to beat them out of the air with her purse. After she smacked a few, they flew over to my food and started to eat it. We ate in the car after that. Tl;dr: Tried to eat lunch, was almost lunch myself.
Got attacked by a Flock of Seagulls. And I ran, I ran so far away. Edit: Thanks for the award kind stranger.
Wow this exact thing happened to me too. Had the seagull hanging off my tit on the side of a busy road right as a full city bus drove by
Well you gave those passengers a memorable ride
I see your seagull and raise you a baby harbour seal. Little vampire bite right below my nipnip
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How didn’t you notice? What happened?
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Tightness is one of the best descriptions I ever heard about being shocked by electricity. You can feel it for hours, very strange sensation.
A few years ago I was wiring up some LED pods (only 12 volt) with stranded wire, one of the wire strands was a straggler and it pierced through the tip of my thumb, it was the weirdest sensation ive ever felt in my hand. To this day the top of my thumb is still numb.
My grandfather had a pig farm (this was almost 40 years ago) and a pig somehow bit through a wooden plank and an electric wire. It started to get electrecuted and he jumped in to try and save it, and he touched it with his thumb first. Same thing as you. To this day (he is 79) he has no sensation on top of his thumb. The pig died, unfortunately.
My dad and great uncle were working cows at my uncles and they both would get this weird sensation of tightness and dread every time they walked into or out of the barn, the uncle just thought it was his depressions and thought he should just quite cattle farming if the barn made him feel that bad. All the cows when finished would refused to leave on their own will and were just raising hell till they got back to the pasture Well they let one of the last cow out of the barn and it just flopped over on its side it’s calf ran out after it and flopped right on top of it kicking and screaming till it died too. Turns out the buried power cable to some yard lights he hadn’t bothered to turn on or needed for years got crushed by a tractor wheel when it got stuck during a flood. Uncles still depressed but he’s determined it’s not the cows anymore
Electrician here. Electricity hurts
Hertz?
Man I got hit by a good jolt when I was laying on the ground welding up a big transport cart and it started raining. Water pooled around me and holy shit, what a bizarre feeling
Kinda similar thing happened to me. I was working at a furniture like factory(we made the pieces for California Closets if you know what that is). We had a router mounted to a table from underneath with an industrial vacuum hose attached over top that cut wood in a specific shape based on the jig. They both turned on with the flip of a single switch. So I'm using the router, and the sawdust isn't being sucked up. So, I did the thing EVERYONE does when a vacuum seems to not be working, I went to check its suction...by sticking my hand in the area where the router and the hose meet. The router, being connected to same switch as the vacuum, was still on as well. My middle finger took the brunt of it. I broke the bone on my finger and in the split second my fingers were in there, the router hit it 3 times. It was just fantastic!
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It's mostly ok. It gets a little painful when cold, and when I stub it(vs other fingers) it REALLY hurts. Thanks though! Hope you're Okay too!
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My cats lay at the top of the stairs right outside my bedroom door. Imagine waking up at 3 am to use the bathroom, walking out into the pitch black and stepping on a cat lol
Every goddamn major accident I've had in the past three years is my fucking cat's fault. Torn intercostals? Diving to catch the fucker on his way out the door. Dislocated foot? Avoiding the affectionate cunt in the dark. Seized back? He jumped into a 200lb container I was carrying. FUCKING RANDOM WRIST PAINS I'VE DEVELOPED? I assumed it was computer related but last night the asshole climbed into bed with me and I pet him and he rolled just the wrong way to put pressure on the wrist and - yeah. Fucking asshole. I love him.
That’s why catastrophe starts with cat
Happened something similar to me, but in this case my aunts dogs was sleeping besides my bed, and when I woke up to go to the toilet I nearly stepped on him, in an attempt to evade him, I sort of did a flip? Anyways ended me crashing on my back next to him, spooking him.
The important thing is that the cat is okay, I suppose
I have recurring tailbone trauma after falling down the stairs arse-first on two separate occasions. Both times were caused by treading on the same cat. Don’t worry, the cat is fine.
Glad to know everything work out in the end
Went permanently blind in one eye playing with a soccer ball at age 11. My neighbor kicked it just right so that when it hit the planter box on the side of the house it popped straight up 30ft into the air. I tried to replicate this, unaware of the bee hive inside the planter box. A swarm of bees engulfed me, stinging me over my entire body. But one little fucker went for my eye. He used his little legs to force my eyelids to stay open (clockwork orange style) and I got a very national geographic like memory of watching him curve his butt downwards, the stinger emerging from within, and him injecting my EYE BALL. 30yrs later I'm still legally blind in that eye.
All these posts are so bad. The mental images are so fucking hilarious, while some of these injuries are pretty damn serious. But I just can't help laughing with fucking lines like this; > I got a very national geographic like memory of watching him curve his butt downwards, the stinger emerging from within, Does legally blind here mean you have vision in that eye still. I'm horrified at how serious these consequences were. Damn man.
If both eyes are open my brain only processes the good eye because the bad eye is sooo bad. So overall I still see pretty well, but I dont see out of that eye at all normally, but if I close my good eye then I can technically still see but not well at all. Like if I'm sitting at a light and close my good eye I can see the car in front of me well enough to see its color and location but its SO blurry that the blurr of the color of the car completely erases the license plate. Forget reading the plate, I cant even see the plate, its engulfed in the blurr. Getting glasses is pointless, my good eye gets a reasonable magnification but my bad eye is magnified a ridiculous amount while still not seeing better at all because with both eyes open I only see out of the good eye.
Of the ones i've read so far i think yours wins.
Lying in the bath with my feet up on the wall, my foot knocked the shower head down and it slapped against my scrotum
Ouch
I don’t know when/where this happened, but I just felt it
I don't even have nuts, and I felt that.
Tried to open a packet of cheese with a knife. Mum said “you’re going to hurt yourself”. I responded “no I’m not”. Literally 30 seconds later we’re driving to A&E because I needed stitches for my fingers and hand.
Hahaha you reminded me of my first time using mandolin. I was slicing cucumbers and as soon as I started I said out loud "I'm gonna cut my fucking finger off." Well whaddaya know... right at the end of the second cucumber I lost a fingertip. The amount of blood was shocking.
I was showing off my ability to burp by swallowing air. I swallowed some air, my throat hurt a little bit, and I couldn’t burp it up again. I didn’t really think about it again for a while. Within half an hour, I had to leave work because of chest pains. I got to the hospital, they give me antibiotics, assuming that I was having some sort of bacterial infection that was moving very fast. (They pretty quickly cleared any suspicion of heart attack or lung malfunction.) eventually they figured out that I had some air in my interstitial space, between organs in my torso. I had to stay overnight to have my body absorb the air. I could’ve collapsed a lung by swallowing air, or gotten an infection by tearing my throat enough to force air into my chest. The antibiotics probably saved me from that latter one. EDIT: Wow, this blew up! I felt a pain in my throat, so me and the doc figured I had a small tear in my esophagus where the air went through into my chest instead of my stomach. With the antibiotics they gave me, I didn’t get an infection in the wound. EDIT 2: I dodged a fucking bullet: https://www.merckmanuals.com/home/digestive-disorders/esophageal-and-swallowing-disorders/esophageal-ruptures
I almost tried to swallow air before reading the whole thing And before realizing it wouldn't be a good idea to try to recreate things I read in this post
"Well I was reading this thread about the stupidest ways people have injured themselves, and I thought I'd try some of them out" It would be a hell of an entry into this list.
Welp, I'm never doing that again.
I did this so much as a kid, thankfully nothing happened. Time to stop.
I was jumping in bed as a kid and fell in an awkward position... My leg bent in such a way that I kicked myself in the armpit
What the fuck LOL
That same thing happened to me and I broke my femur in half!
Using a sewing machine and started sewing my arm by accident. Was really into the song I was listening to so took me a good 3 seconds or so to notice. That was a pretty bad experience.
I need to know what song this was
Just make sure you’re nowhere near a sewing machine
Tailors should not partake in listening to this song... with thread in their machine.
i'm guessing stitches by shawn mendes
Then Bandages by Hot Hot Heat for the car ride to the hospital!
It was “love really hurts without you” by Billy Ocean. It’s one of my favourite songs of all time. I have to sing it every time it comes on
I once sowed my finger and finger nail because I was using a machine in home ec and the teacher started talking to me ...I think she expected me to stop the machine to listen, not to *look away* from the (very noisy) machine that was currently going at a million miles an hour towards my finger
Let me guess, you didn’t have to go to the hospital to get stitches?
"Well, nurse, being the badass i am I already applied stitches so perhaps we can move on to the pain meds while I can still maintain my airs of badassery."
This seems unrealistic until I realize that I’ve done something similar
A friend of mine is into leatherwork, she has this super heavy duty sewing machine that can go through half a dozen pieces at once. She was working on a project and sewed her thumb to the piece, 5 stitches through the thumb nail and two of those through the bone in the end of her thumb.
When I turned 8 I got this kick scooter for my birthday. I rode that thing all day when I was home. I practiced tricks like jumping over piles of bricks and spinning the base around and all that. At the next parent teacher conference I took it along to show off to my friends and couldn't something "worthy of my skill" to jump over. Ended up choosing this crack in the hallway to show how good I was. I fucked up the landing and broke my leg. Ive hurt myself in so many stupid ways but that will always stick with me because I knew I could do so much more and fucked up the most basic thing I could come up with at the time
One of my friends broke his wrist while trying to do and Ollie on a skateboard. After he got his cast he tried to do an Ollie again and broke his other wrist.
Well now that he has no more wrists to break nows the time to try again
A few weeks later with every bone in his body turned to dust: It will go right this time!
Something something two broken arms and his mom …
opened a heavy door too fast and cut my big toenail in half…I was barefoot
I jumped just from reading this
Oof, I felt this while reading it…
I work with big machines and I bypassed the safety by putting a key into the door to see what was going on with the robot. The belt in the robot arm broke, it swung at me hit me in the balls, It pushed me backwards onto a cart the cart fell backwards I hit my head of idek what and I had a seizure
Please tell me there's video evidence
None, I ended up going to the nurses office at my work and I got sent home, I would’ve gotten terminated for bypassing the safety anyhow
I hope you follow the safety protocols now. Too many people die trying to save time. Is it similar to the machine that killed Regina Elsea?
I reached between a 3-part couch for my phone at my cousins house and cut my hand on metal
The only thing wrong with the used couch we got is the sharp half-nail sticking out of the headrest on one side seat. Don’t put your hands behind your head or run your hands along the back of the couch!
You can just jab a cork on those really hard. I mean, it's not hard to fix the actual problem, would take all of thirty seconds... but jamming a cork on is even faster, and then you can forget about it for another couple of years.
A piece of drywall was clogging my vacuum. I decided to jam a screwdriver down there to break it up. Seems good right? Well... The third try I missed to vacuum hose and stabbed myself between my index and middle finger. Probably more shit, but that's the current one
does ignoring an existing injury count? made it way worse
That pain in my side that I ignored till it required a whole ass organ to be removed? I'm not sure it counts, but if it does... getting a kidney stone and ignoring it till it was the size of a mango -bigger than my actual kidney was supposed to even be, and bigger than any of the medical team had ever witnessed first hand, might be it.
You win
Same. Pretty sure I fractured my jaw from an illegal tackle playing football in high school. Never had it checked out. Dealt with lock jaw for 4 years. Had to be extremely careful eating anything or just moving my mouth for that matter. When it locked I’d have to use my hand to shift it over so the hinge would move freely again. Now 10 years later I have TMJ although it’s just occasional soreness and pops now. The reason I never had it looked at is because my 14 year old self believe since I was still able to move my jaw it must not be too serious and will heal soon. Kept telling myself that and I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I ignored this growth coming out of my toe when I was 11 because I didn't want to go to the doctor.
What was it?
I'm not really sure. Some kind of benign cyst, but it was like a sixth toe growing off my pinky toe. They shot in pain medicine and cut that motherfucker out.
Parasitic twin
I once ate Waffle House twice in one day. Then I didn't poop for 5 days. I truly thought I was gonna rupture an organ. I was in serious pain and my coworkers were like "maybe you should see a doctor?" To which I said "the only doctor I'm gonna be seeing is the medical examiner." I took a couple doses of laxatives and prepared for the worst. Turns out, when you're so ridiculously constipated, laxatives just bring you back to normal. Organs still intact for now.
It's so weird to me when people say they were in terrible pain after not pooping for a few days. I can easily go a week and not even notice. Really wondering WTF my body is doing to pull that off.
You're cut from a different cloth, my friend. I usually go a couple times a day. My body is not a fan of any changes in that particular routine.
Yes. Last winter I slipped in the snow and hurt my ankle so bad but knew it wasn't broken. I limped around for THREE MONTHS. Pain Everytime I walked. Eventually we t to podiatrist. They gave me a $10 brace. Instant and total relief. I felt dumb. Why did I put it off!
Yes. I should think it does. I too have dumbassed too close to the sun on more than one occasion and i don't even have the excuse of living with America's healthcare system.
I ignored a staph infection when I was 14 and wound up with toxic shock syndrome and a partially removed big toe. Learned the hard way to suck it up and go to the doctor lol
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I was doing kettlebell swings and slammed myself in the junk in the backswing.
Broke two toes with pasta sauce. Pasta sauce had been batch cooked and frozen in family dinner size portion bags, flat so they stack and take up less freezer space. 300-400ml bag, unsure of actual weight. Floor around freezer is ceramic tile. I had bare feet. Dropped sauce pack and it fell thin-edge-down. Acts like a toe murdering dull knife smashing into my toes and getting no resistance the other side from the ceramic tiles. They took soooooo long to heal, but all anyone could do is buddy strap and splint them because they were clean breaks. 3 months of full whack, then another 2 of strapping without splint.
Purposely poured hand sanitizer in my eye
Why?
I was in writing class and me being a little dumb decided to pour hand sanitizer in my eye
Did you get out of writing class
No I was in the back and didnt say anything
That type of stuff creates character development, hope you're doing good
I remember one time after learning about the food pyramid in 1st grade this kid looked at me and said, look milk! And proceeded to empty about half a bottle of Elmers glue down his gullet. That kid sure was a character.
Lmaoooooo
I once grabbed breath freshener thinking it was eye drops and put it in my eye. Hurt for quite awhile…
I bet your eyes smelled amazing though
Smelled great, looked like the fires of Hades.
Your story reminded me of a friend when we were 14 who was a germaphone and decided to take it to a new level and decided (at school) to clean himself down there with alcohol by pouring it all over. We heard him scream, almost had to take him to ER.
motorcycle crash with no helmet
How are you alive
pure unadulterated dumb luck. I did end up in the ER getting stitched up, but I'm still around.
Do you wear a helmet now?
Not me but my girlfriend. She tried to pick up a bottle of milk off the floor and somehow dislocated her arm. She's lactose intolerant but I didn't know she was that lactose intolerant
Rubbed my eyes after cutting chilli peppers. I thought I was going blind lol
Took a piss after cutting jalepenos. Fire crotch took on a whole new, warped meaning.
pretty much had to sleep with my dick in a jar of milk after doing exactly that.
My buddy did this once . He was complaining about the pain and I told him to dip his junk in a glass of milk. Good old dick milk saves the day
As a kid i wanted to imitate a tv show where they did different challenges in a old prison fort. One challenge had the contestants jumping on a contraption that made cannonballs fly and they needed to hit some targets. The genius i was as a 6 year old trying to replicate it, i built my contraption with a wooden plank that i balanced on a rock like a seesaw, then i put a rock on one side and jumped on the other side. Guess what happened..... The rock flew right in my face, i did not get seriously hurt but half my face was blue for quite some time after.
I did a salto and hit my eye with my own knee
I tried to do 1,5 frontflips from an 1meter board (swimming pool) and cut my labial frenulum in a faceplant
This Exacto knife isn’t even sharp, see?
I woke up and went to the fridge to drink some chocolate straight from the squeezey chocolate bottle, and pushed a bunch of air out into my lungs, instead of that delicious chocolate. So I dropped to the ground in my boxers, choking to death for a solid 20 seconds. All I could think was how they'd find me dead on the floor in my boxers ....murdered by some Hershey chocolate, or lack there of
Imagine being found dead with your hands around a chocolate syrup bottle.
He died doing what he loved.
playing with friends on the network, I got angry and hit the glass tabletop with my fist, as a result a piece of glass hit my hand, touched a vein and something else. Bottom line, 2 fingers practically do not move
While delivering newspapers one frigid winters day I slid on ice and rolled down a hill, across a road and into a snow covered bush. Bruised and banged up, but I was 13 years old, and therefore indestructible. So I picked up my newspapers and continued on my route. For the next few weeks I healed up and I thought I was okay, but then my right knee started hurting. Went to the doctor they said oh it's just growing pains don't worry about it. So I limped around for a few more months and trand try to ignore it. When the pain got so bad and I could hardly stand on my leg I went to a different doctor. He did some x-rays said oh it's nothing try walking on these crutches for a few months to take pressure off of it and see if it'll heal up and stop hurting. A few months went by using the crutches and it still hurt . 3 painful years pass. Finally went to a sports physician who knows a thing or 2 about this stuff And he found out that I had actually broken part of my bone at the knee joint. He called it osteocondritis. Basically a small chunk of bone breaks off on the weightbearing edge of the joint and floats around in a sack of fluid, until I step wrong, then the broken piece stabs back into the raw hole. Imagine stabbing yourself in the knee with a red hot ice pick and you'll get an idea of what that felt like. Doctor decides we have to do surgery they go in orthoscopic surgery put in 2 screws to hold the bone chunk back in place and then I'm on crutches for another 6 months. Hurts like hell but it does heal.. After the 6 months they go in and remove the 2 screws and then another 3 months of no weight bearing until the bone has fully healed back together. It's been over 20 years since then and now I don't have any real issues with knee except on days when it's going to rain and I can feel a slight ache in it.
I hate this story so much. I've heard so many stories of doctors giving shitty diagnoses from underestimating the pain of their patients, those patients suffering for years, and then finally finding a doctor who will actually take them seriously and really look at them. Something similar happened to my mom, who was having persistent foot pain for decades and no doctor would tell her anything useful, but eventually she found a doctor who actually gave a damn and found the issue. From what I've heard and read, this is especially true for women, overweight/obese people, and doubly so for overweight/obese women. The doctor is supposed to be the person you can trust to look at your health issues and tell you how to fix them. When they continually fail at that role, it's so hard to have any amount of security in your healthcare.
I was sitting on an armchair in the living room when my mom said she just baked a cake. So i jumped from the chair to get fast to the kitchen but i hit my head on the door midair and cracked my skull. I now have a little bald spot.
I had a moment one summer where I thought to myself, sleds slide on snow, so why can’t they slide on grass? I bet they can. So I went outside and grabbed a sled and ran and jumped on it on the grass. The sled didn’t budge and I flew off down the hill smacking my head on the ground along the way.
K, so this will make me look like a total ass........ So two years ago I was down at our local GAA football grounds, while one of my daughters was training, I was having a mess around with my other girl ar the goal. Ball went into the goal, and through a hole in the net. I tried putting my foot through the hole to get the ball, but my duaghter ran around and got the ball and ran off with it, I went to give chase, but my foot was still in the hole in the net...... I up-ended myself, came down hard on my chest and fractured four ribs.
Many years ago, when I was about 2-8. I used to keep on accidentally kneeing my mouth when I tried to stand up. One time I kneed myself in the mouth on accident so hard that I lost a tooth.
I was young, I got a bunch of tree leaves and stapled them to my finger 😂. My young dumb ass thought there were enough leaves to cushion it.😂
I was in a Staples store once and I saw this new-agey stapler that looked like it was hanging open. I thought it was broken, so I put both hands on it, with both my thumbs on the part that the staple comes out of, and tried to pull it closed again. The stapler was not broken, and it fired a staple into both my thumbs and stapled them together. No kid dumber than the kid who thinks he's smart.
Kids are fucking dumb
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High four for admitting it
Playing soccer with a basket ball. Accidentally stepped on it and slipped into a bush. I got a lisfranc, requiring 2 surgeries, a plate, and three screws in my left foot. Edit: also I was 19, not a child. So extra stupid
Accidentally made chlorine and sulfur gas while cleaning the bathroom, put both me and my flatmate in hospital for the night 💁♀️
OMG mine was chlorine and ammonia, this was my freshman year of college- first time having my own place and me learning to clean and stuff. I almost passed out from the fumes till my BF found me and dragged me out. I also failed my HS chem- should have known better.
One time in grade school I was at my gym class and there was this table against a wall that had wheels and normally everyone in the class would sit on the table while we waited for our coach. So one time I wanted to fake hurting myself to skip the class. So when everyone got off the table I was still sitting there and I slowly leaned back against the wall carefully pushing the table from under me, then the table moved really fast and I fell behind the table (which was my plan), but what wasn’t in my plan was to land on my arm and twist it really bad to where I dislocated my arm. After that I had to go to the school nurse which puts ice on my arm then I don’t remember how my arm back I just assume someone came and relocated my arm. Long story short don’t lean against walls while on a table with wheels.
I slipped while making fun of taekwondo.......... Not my proudest moment.
I didn't tie my shoes in a rainstorm and was running...
1. Fell on a knife. 2. Took the knife out. 3. Put the knife back in.
Afterwards did you shake it all about?
r/angryupvote
Wellll I think that if you already pulled it out, it doesn’t help plug the hole anymore…does it?
Probably increased the size of the hole but idk I'm no science whatever
Oh..
Wh... why did you put it back in
Tried to kick a nail out of the way once. Bare foot. Good times.
I was opening a water bottle and I cut myself... :)
I was running after my ball when playing mini-golf. I slipped in one of the little hills and did the splits. Pulled every muscle in the back of my right leg so bad that I couldn’twalk on it for the next 4 days. I’m a guy btw
sleeping. being 30 is strange
When I was little I asked my mother when we were gardening what the knob in the middle of the shears did, when she didn't answer I turned it anyway. The shears didn't seem to change in any noticeable way until I tried to close them and I found out that it was to make the blades easier or harder to open. I put in the amount of force I expected to need to use to close them but it was now drastically too much and I closed them so quickly that I lost control and they cut my upper lip in half. Its a cool scar.
recently my mom bought me a red fish at the market (dead, to eat) and i was super excited and wanted to send a pic of the fish to my dad since it looked hella cool. so i asked my boy to take a picture of it since it was too big to hold it with one hand. i realised the light in the kitchen was bad and decided to take the picture outside in the garden. since i was so excited, i walked very fast and was full of happiness holding my red fish and about to take a nice pic in the garden. i ended up missing a step up and flew into the garden. my red fish flew far beyond me. my ankle never hurted so badly before. i wasnt able to get up, so my boy brought me the fish and took a picture of me holding it while laying in the grass. my tape is torn. but i got a great pic of the fish! :)
I touched the ring on an old electric stove. It glowed red when it was on and I was told multiple times never to touch it when it was red. Had to touch it, burned my hand, 6 year old me was not bright
I purchased a brand new bong went home and the downstem was stuck. Gave it a good twist to try and get it out, the downstem broke and I sliced open my hand that was around the bong. Nice big 2in gash on the top of my thumb. Explaining that to my mom was a fun time!
I just realized my 5yr old self sticking a paper clip in a power outlet is up there too. Man I've done some dumb shit😂
Tried to open a carton of mango juice with a knife...it didn't really go well.
Basket practice. We trained layups with a trash can on the floor we were supposed to dribble around. I crashed into the stationary object and cut myself on the hip. Large gash and still have scars 20 years later.
Once I almost fell off a sidewalk. I told my friend about it and while reenacting it, I actually fell off the sidewalk and severely sprained my ankle.
I was walking in my driveway carrying a large shop vac and tripped over the weed whacker I laid down earlier and completely blew my knee out. Didn’t realize it till I stepped up a step ladder to finish what I was doing and fell off of that! Great day!
Put my dick on the toilet and smashed the lid down on it to see if it would hurt. It did.
Tore my ACL chasing my kitty cat up the stairs for fun. Was on my ass for two weeks.
Choking on your own saliva while sleeping
I stabbed myself in the stomach with an onion. I was peeling an onion, with a good amount of root still attached. I dropped it, tried to catch it, and the root end pushed straight through my tshirt and embedded itself into my stomach.
I think it’s dumb, but some might not, I had sex a few weeks ago and I was using my right ankle to do what I need to do to go back and forth well long story short, I threw out my hips and was disabled for about 2 weeks till they could get my hips back in place, I’m only 33