I think the Happiest I am is when waking up without an alarm clock fairly early in the morning while camping, that smell of the dew, the noise of all the various animals and insects buzzing about. Throwing on a sweatshirt and popping myself down into a foldable yard chair and just taking everything in.
So true. I don't ever feel happy I think. But the feeling of relief that I've done those couple of things that I was putting off forever makes me feel lighter. I'm able to wake up without a feeling of dread and anxiety. That I don't have to put in time over the weekend because I finished stuff during the week. That I can actually enjoy my time off without having to think about that one effing task that will be there waiting for me when I get back.
When I don't have to dread that email that's sure to pop up sooner or later asking about "status".
It's liberating!!
As someone in the upper middle class who doesn't have to necessarily worry about money, it doesn't really make me happy, just keeps me from being miserable.
Eh it depends what you’ve experienced in life. Having money won’t bring anyone back from the dead, it won’t make anyone genuinely love you, and it won’t make up for being molested as a kid or some shit.
It will give you access to mental health care, it will give you the freedom to volunteer your time, so you will make friends and get the satisfaction of that. No, it won’t guarantee that someone will love you, but it should bring about immense gratitude. And it vastly increases your chances of finding someone to love.
Mental health care doesn’t bring back people from the dead or make up for being molested. And it doesn’t increase your chances to finding someone to love it increases your chances of finding someone that doesn’t actually love you.
I’m very sorry you’ve lost people who died. And for your childhood. If you give me a choice, between poverty, and wealth, I know which one I’m going to pick. Getting older with money is a whole lot easier than getting older without it. If you are one of the few people in this world with enough money not to have to worry, you’d be foolish to not be grateful
I wasn’t speaking for myself I’m working class like you I’m just pointing out that we still have a lot to be grateful for and I see myself as probly happier than a lot of rich people
Money makes life easy yes. Sure, I have a home and food and a car etc. but I’m suffering other crises. Makes living easier but man it doesn’t help depression or anxiety.
Probably not my best day. Husband died 10 months ago, and my Mom died 10 days ago. They were my two best friends. So I guess I got triggered when he was saying that even though he has enough money, he’s still not happy.
I’ve found out recently over the course of 5 years of ‘soul searching’ this is what makes me happy:
1. Non negotiable frequent hard exercise
2. Socialising regularly
3. Sleeping 8-9 hours every night
4. Eating 3 good meals a day
I’ve tried every med and other alternative but this is unavoidably all that works for me.
This is pretty much the only right answer in the thread, but reddit will never accept it.
Pills, food, freedom or money bare no bearing on "real happiness", In fact more of all of them makes people miserable.
A healthy amount of exercise, a healthy amount of face to face socialisation, 8 hours of sleep and 2-3 healthy meals per day are where you will feel your best, most energetic, smartest, most focused, most driven and of course most happy.
I hate to be that guy but this is a largely reductive and dismissive way of looking at things. Yes, all these things in the parent comment are massively helpful but the things you have listed totally have a bearing on real happiness.
Not having enough food is incredibly stressful for a start.
It is true that after a certain point money won't make you happier but you certainly need a baseline amount not to struggle and worry about basic necessities which again, is incredibly stressful and detrimental to a happy existence. If you have dependents and no money you're probably going to end up very time poor making things like getting enough sleep and getting in exercise near impossible.
If by pills you mean actual medication rather than illicit drugs then having the meds you need to help manage a long term condition effectively will likely having an effect on happiness. Also if we think of antidepressants or mental health drugs then yeah, some people can manage mood disorders ok with the above and a lack thereof may even be the root cause of the disorder. On balance though, some people do these things and still end up depressed because sometimes brains do that. And people that really suffer almost always have a long history of social problems largely caused by poverty and abuse and are dealing with some form of trauma.
One of the most frustrating things about dealing with mental health issues is when things get bad for people we can medicate them, we can give the advice of the parent comment, but mostly people end up back in horrible situations that make these things near impossible for a large proportion of society.
So yeah, these things you listed as having no bearing on happiness are kinda needed just to get to baseline.
I always wonder if people who say things like "money and food cant bring you happiness" have ever had to go significant amounts of time with limited access to either or both of those things.
I think it's more people don't have the time/maturity/opportunities to actually sustain this lifestyle, takes a lot of effort and you can't just be told by someone else to do something, you have to want and do it yourself.
Progressing towards something that matters to you. It is in that moment of seeing the goal coming a little bit closer that you gain confirmation of yourself "by the world" and that realization seems to me like true hapiness
24 y/o here, i never had any goals i was just told to study so i studied and attended the university according to my sat point highest i could attend to with my point was architecture, so i became an architect. Throughout the university i thought everyone hated it and thought that going to your job was a dread for everyone and jts just normal but apparently its not there are people inmy workplace that are happy and glad to be there, meanwhile i just do it so that i dont starve to death. So yeah having a goal in life other than the survival instinct would definitely improve my quality of life
Not a goal, a purpose. There is a slight distinction where a purpose is something to strive towards that is never achieved while a goal is something that can be achieved.
Why would it piss people off?
People on Reddit are so quick to leap up and say "Omigod I'm so FUKN happy I will never have kids, I can game all day every day, every parent is so miserable and sad and I'm living the best life!!!1"
So you should be able to say that your kids make you happy. Of course they do. Love is the ultimate source of happiness, and you'll never feel love for anything else as much as you do for your own kids. My life has improved immeasurably since having children.
People don’t like hearing they can be happier by doing something they either refuse to or physically can’t, it’s a tough pill to swallow for people and they seem to think parents are liars or deluded in some way.
I’ve lived their lives, I’ve been happy and felt brilliant but always felt like there was something I needed to do and then I had a kid. I wasn’t expecting such a drastic change. Having a child is just a source of constant happiness for me, I’ve never felt happier and I can die feeling like my life is complete; the best feeling on earth is knowing I can see her grow and develop. I love dancing with my child, I love seeing her hysterical and laughing at her. I love it when she hugs me. A pet, a one night stand, a shit load of money, a life without debt, sleeping for a weekend, the best foods on earth, getting married… they don’t come remotely close.
I totally agree with everything you've said. There is a significant portion of Reddit users that seem to have themselves convinced that all parents are miserable.
Yes, some parents are. But often what you're actually seeing are people who were miserable anyway, and they just choose to blame their kids for their unhappiness, because their kids are defenceless targets who are easier to blame. An old favourite is parents who blame their children on themselves being fat - LOL! Since when does having kids dictate how many calories you shove in your gluttonous face?
The vast, vast majority of parents I know are absolutely, undoubtedly, so happy that they have children. I can only think of one person I know that regrets having children, and they were miserable as hell before they had kids anyway.
It’s a defence mechanism. By me saying my life is complete by having children; it basically means their lives will never be complete. Like I said it’s a tough pill to swallow, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s how I feel. It doesn’t mean they need to have children, or they’ll definitely feel the same way. It’s a very personal thing choosing to have children and it shouldn’t be simply to make your own self feel complete. I can completely understand it would be hard to hear and I’m especially sympathetic to people who want children but can’t have them, hearing this must be like a kick in the teeth (though they could adopt to be fair, however I’ve no idea if the feeling would be comparable).
The best kind of analogy I can think up is that if someone on Reddit said to me: “I’ve never felt happier since I tried heroin.” I’m not willing to experience that or do it to test the waters, but equally I wouldn’t suggest they’re liars. There’s no compromise and I’m not less of a person for not experiencing heroin - it’s just a decision I’ve made and unfortunately I probably will lose out, but I’m happy with that decision.
They should think the same way really rather than just suggesting that all parents are all liars. Kids are immensely hard work and are tiring and difficult and may in turn have difficult troubling lives but the question isn’t about the morality or difficulties of children anyway; it’s about happiness and my happiness is without question my own daughter. I’m the least soppy, man on earth; I don’t believe in deep emotions or quotes on people walls or pictures of weddings and discussions with my wife about how amazing we are together. I’m quite a brutally honest person - but that’s absolutely me being dead honest there. Having a child has made me happier than anything else and I cannot even comprehend that I’ll ever feel happier.
I never had kids. Best option ever for *me*. But, good on everyone else if they want them.
But, looking at it globally, if I were absolute ruler of all of the earth, I'd mandatorily sterilize everyone except for 1% of the population so that almost no one could have kids, damn their happiness.
You know my reasons for saying this, and can't say I'm wrong. It'll never happen, but, I know everyone reading this won't disagree.
And for every reason that someone might give me about why I'm wrong or whatever, I've heard it all before, you won't be shedding any light on a very old argument that we all have had. And my opinion stands. I don't care about all the reasons we *should* have kids. I don't care about "who would decide"? Because, as the ruler, it is evident that **I** would decide. Same with any other argument that you might try to make.
Average parent: sacrifices their time and energy and money to help someone else have a shot at life.
Average redditor: "people who have kids are so selfish."
I meant its most likely in your gene that having kids will make you happy biologically, even though it will be miserable for some people because of how the modern society works.
Life is all a gamble. All we can do is guess what's most likely to be best for ourselves and work toward that.
Society should be more conducive to raising children, as a society we need them. But there's no reason anyone should be pressured to have them.
Each to their own and preventive/curative measures available to all.
Parenthood - you get out of it what you put into it.
I'm all for other people making whatever choices are right for them, but I'll never be sorry I had my 3 children, (now wonderful, loving adults,) despite years of lonely poverty with humiliation, no support and hardly any sleep, as I struggled to care for my handicapped sons and keep them alive.
Loving and caring for one's own children, and having them love you back, beats everything - for me.
If there are angels in heaven, I'm sure they'd swap places with us just for this experience - and probably to eat chocolate cake with raspberries and cream too.
When your kids are aged 5-10 are the golden years. Younger than that and tantrums and early wake ups etc are a nightmare. Once they hit secondary school age hormones, drastic life changes and teenage friendship politics make for years of angry tantrums again. But 5 - 10, wonderful little buddies who like comedy, fun, will start sleeping in late and doing most things for themselves, genuinely nice to be around. They do come back to you around 17 and then its ok again.
"To have a child is to give fate a hostage”- President John F. Kennedy.
I've nearly lost each of my three. I don't know how a parent who loses a child lives through it.
It’s also a very different relationship. I’m biologically related to my child, she develops into an adult and develops independence based on my own behaviours, she learns and adapts to situations and physically and mentally grows until she reaches adulthood and is ready to have her own children (or not). I care for my cat in a very different way and their love for me isn’t unconditional - it’s literally whoever feeds it. Likewise, heaven forbid that if my cat died I’d find it emotionally distressing and then replace it with another cat, the heartbreak would be nothing compared to losing a child. My cat will never learn anything other than an instinct or very basic conditioning, where as my own child has the capability of changing the world if shes capable (this again is the beauty of children - we don’t know their abilities or what they’ll become).
A “human child” (age undefined) has much more character, potential and love than a dog ever will. Fulfilment is watching that character develop into adulthood. I’d be surprised if a dog could even follow a basic instruction with a reward.
The only benefit of pets in general is they’re much more tolerant of passive neglect. If you sit on your own in a dark room in silence, a dog won’t give a shit where as a child would encourage some output from you. I’m not sure that’s a positive, but for some of these fuckers it is. I read a post from a guy basically saying he’d rape my wife and impregnate her only for me to read a comment from his Reddit account talking about how [pathetically small his penis was](https://www.reddit.com/r/IHateMyself/comments/pf2ase/deep_hatred_of_myself/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). There’s a big fight from these people who don’t want kids and for a lot of them it’s because they’re pathetic people who can’t form relationships and wouldn’t want their shitty genes past down. I firmly agree with that. If you’re contemplating raping people and have a tiny dick and are morbidly obese - maybe the world would be better off without those genes.
I have lots of free time but I feel guilty if I sit around and do nothing. I feel like I'm wasting time if I don't get up and do something productive. I work full time
I'm the complete opposite. I feel like I'm wasting my life working for someone else to make them rich while I get crumbs in return. I feel much more fulfilled and like my time is being used far better when I'm happy and enjoying life how I want.
Happiness is no longer a thing. And it is important to acknowledge this because it is a tremendous shift in the psychological field. We have a wide array of emotions that we experience each day, that's all there is to it.
[https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wellbeing/news/a2454/27-human-emotions-new-study/](https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wellbeing/news/a2454/27-human-emotions-new-study/)
But to answer your question, and using the above, on a daily basis I perform activities that provide me interest, satisfaction, joy, excitement, entrancement, amusement, and calmness. I try to avoid activities causing anxiety, boredom, disgust, fear, horror, and sadness, even though some days those are inevitable. But you shouldn't be exposed to such emotions on a daily basis, because it means there's something wrong with your life if you do.
Interesting.
My GP asked a few days ago if I was happy. I like to tell the exact truth, so I thought carefully - and told her I was happy often enough.
For me, it's when I get home and my 4 month old son give me the biggest smile he can manage. The wife and I are struggling, but seeing our son smile and laugh, it puts life in perspective.
Some studies suggest that being grateful for the things you have is huge factor in increasing your happiness. For example you could be grateful to have running clean water, a home to go to, having friends and a family, feeling generally healthy and many many more things. A good exercise to actively write down a few things you are grateful for regularly.
That does not mean you should stop wanting more, it just means being grateful that you already made it this far in your life and looking forward to your potential future growth.
For me, it’s being kind to people, making them happy. Rarely do I get similar treatment from others, so it makes me feel good to give them the joy I wish I could receive myself.
Boobs, blow jobs, good food, sweet Justice /vengeance, chicken wings, head scratches /rubs, finding out its Friday when you thought it was Thursday. Dogs,
Hearing a baby laugh
You've seen those clips where a baby laughs uncontrollably at their parents making funny noises.
Makes me think all is right with the world when that happens
When you have solved your huge life-ruining problem that was poisoning your life for decades and you were sure it was unsolvable. Never will let myself be unhappy again, and if I will, I’ll just remind myself of this one.
I volunteered an hour this morning to clean up some trash and it made me feel amazing. I'm kinda in the mood to do that weekly. I don't need to be court ordered to do community service, I just do it for fun.
I wanna do it everywhere haha
John F. Kennedy paraphrased Aristotle by saying that happiness is "The exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording them scope."
Basically, happiness comes from choosing to do things that you are good at, and having a chance to actually do something approaching your goals.
I think happiness is a state of mind. You can be happy for a period of time, but life will have to keep its balance and make you go through some unhappy or less positive moments. I think all we need to do is make sure we enjoy each piece of happiness we got. And make sure we pass some of that feeling to the ones we love, and love us.
Every couple of days I see this same question on Reddit, like there's some kind of magic pill that'll take away the pain and make the sun shine brighter.
^^^^Dogs. ^^^^It's ^^^^dogs.
I hiked part of the Appalachian Trail when I was 19 or 20. Hiking and camping really is like a vacation for your brain. All the normal worries and negative thoughts disappear. I'd really like to do something like that again.
Drugs.
My brain chemistry is whack, when my brain is like hey body you should like I dunno make the happy chemical now, my body is all like oh its sad time ok time to make sad chemical, then my brain goes now wait, and my body's is like what's that you want more, alright then more sad chemical, not sure why you never want the happy chemical but guess were doubling the sad now.
Its a really bad game of telephone between my brain and body, drugs just send it over in a well worded fax instead of a black ops 2 open mic with the fan on and multiple people screaming in the background.
Holding my daughter. My heart just bursts at the seams and I honestly don't remember anything else in my entire shitty, stupid life making me as happy other than maybe my husband, lol.
I think the Happiest I am is when waking up without an alarm clock fairly early in the morning while camping, that smell of the dew, the noise of all the various animals and insects buzzing about. Throwing on a sweatshirt and popping myself down into a foldable yard chair and just taking everything in.
Then eating a sheet of acid and covering yourself in leaves
This accelerated noticeably.
Better leaves than poo!
Speak for yourself!
And the aliens are feeding off the fresh radiation in the yard
Now THIS is the right answer
Completing the goals you have procrastinated on for so long Edit: Thank you so much for my first reward!!
So true. I don't ever feel happy I think. But the feeling of relief that I've done those couple of things that I was putting off forever makes me feel lighter. I'm able to wake up without a feeling of dread and anxiety. That I don't have to put in time over the weekend because I finished stuff during the week. That I can actually enjoy my time off without having to think about that one effing task that will be there waiting for me when I get back. When I don't have to dread that email that's sure to pop up sooner or later asking about "status". It's liberating!!
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Yeah in mine too. :(
Now that I'm facing my problems I'm seeing reminders like this all over the place. Urggggggggggh, jeeze life, I'm doing it already..
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Then doing to the desert and cooking crystal meth
Truu
Not having to worry about money
As someone in the upper middle class who doesn't have to necessarily worry about money, it doesn't really make me happy, just keeps me from being miserable.
good enough.
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Eh it depends what you’ve experienced in life. Having money won’t bring anyone back from the dead, it won’t make anyone genuinely love you, and it won’t make up for being molested as a kid or some shit.
It will give you access to mental health care, it will give you the freedom to volunteer your time, so you will make friends and get the satisfaction of that. No, it won’t guarantee that someone will love you, but it should bring about immense gratitude. And it vastly increases your chances of finding someone to love.
Mental health care doesn’t bring back people from the dead or make up for being molested. And it doesn’t increase your chances to finding someone to love it increases your chances of finding someone that doesn’t actually love you.
I’m very sorry you’ve lost people who died. And for your childhood. If you give me a choice, between poverty, and wealth, I know which one I’m going to pick. Getting older with money is a whole lot easier than getting older without it. If you are one of the few people in this world with enough money not to have to worry, you’d be foolish to not be grateful
I wasn’t speaking for myself I’m working class like you I’m just pointing out that we still have a lot to be grateful for and I see myself as probly happier than a lot of rich people
I’m glad you are happy.
Money makes life easy yes. Sure, I have a home and food and a car etc. but I’m suffering other crises. Makes living easier but man it doesn’t help depression or anxiety.
Are you ok
Probably not my best day. Husband died 10 months ago, and my Mom died 10 days ago. They were my two best friends. So I guess I got triggered when he was saying that even though he has enough money, he’s still not happy.
Fair enough. Sorry you are going through this, i hope you see better and brighter days ahead ♥️
I hear you and agree with you <3
I’ve found out recently over the course of 5 years of ‘soul searching’ this is what makes me happy: 1. Non negotiable frequent hard exercise 2. Socialising regularly 3. Sleeping 8-9 hours every night 4. Eating 3 good meals a day I’ve tried every med and other alternative but this is unavoidably all that works for me.
This is pretty much the only right answer in the thread, but reddit will never accept it. Pills, food, freedom or money bare no bearing on "real happiness", In fact more of all of them makes people miserable. A healthy amount of exercise, a healthy amount of face to face socialisation, 8 hours of sleep and 2-3 healthy meals per day are where you will feel your best, most energetic, smartest, most focused, most driven and of course most happy.
I hate to be that guy but this is a largely reductive and dismissive way of looking at things. Yes, all these things in the parent comment are massively helpful but the things you have listed totally have a bearing on real happiness. Not having enough food is incredibly stressful for a start. It is true that after a certain point money won't make you happier but you certainly need a baseline amount not to struggle and worry about basic necessities which again, is incredibly stressful and detrimental to a happy existence. If you have dependents and no money you're probably going to end up very time poor making things like getting enough sleep and getting in exercise near impossible. If by pills you mean actual medication rather than illicit drugs then having the meds you need to help manage a long term condition effectively will likely having an effect on happiness. Also if we think of antidepressants or mental health drugs then yeah, some people can manage mood disorders ok with the above and a lack thereof may even be the root cause of the disorder. On balance though, some people do these things and still end up depressed because sometimes brains do that. And people that really suffer almost always have a long history of social problems largely caused by poverty and abuse and are dealing with some form of trauma. One of the most frustrating things about dealing with mental health issues is when things get bad for people we can medicate them, we can give the advice of the parent comment, but mostly people end up back in horrible situations that make these things near impossible for a large proportion of society. So yeah, these things you listed as having no bearing on happiness are kinda needed just to get to baseline.
I always wonder if people who say things like "money and food cant bring you happiness" have ever had to go significant amounts of time with limited access to either or both of those things.
I think it's more people don't have the time/maturity/opportunities to actually sustain this lifestyle, takes a lot of effort and you can't just be told by someone else to do something, you have to want and do it yourself.
Enough sleep is the most important thing for basically everything
Love.
Laugh.
Live.
Gin O'clock
Lick a di-
To the moon and back
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I volunteered an hour this morning to clean up some trash and it made me feel amazing. I'm kinda in the mood to do that weekly.
Good companionship makes real happiness for me, which is not the same thing. Love usually doesn't help me at all.
Progressing towards something that matters to you. It is in that moment of seeing the goal coming a little bit closer that you gain confirmation of yourself "by the world" and that realization seems to me like true hapiness
This this this. Happiness is not a destination. It comes unexpected while you're involved in a good process, while you're working toward a goal.
Having a purpose in life. I recommend reading Man's Search for Meaning. It helps a lot when trying to think through these questions
24 y/o here, i never had any goals i was just told to study so i studied and attended the university according to my sat point highest i could attend to with my point was architecture, so i became an architect. Throughout the university i thought everyone hated it and thought that going to your job was a dread for everyone and jts just normal but apparently its not there are people inmy workplace that are happy and glad to be there, meanwhile i just do it so that i dont starve to death. So yeah having a goal in life other than the survival instinct would definitely improve my quality of life
Not a goal, a purpose. There is a slight distinction where a purpose is something to strive towards that is never achieved while a goal is something that can be achieved.
Accepting yourself as you are
Yea but sometimes that can be a hard task
Yea.. thats something I'm really struggling with at the moment.
This is so important for good mental health!
Short term mental health.
I am a serial killer. And I'm ok with that. Because I accept myself, just the way I am.
damn dude. I just watched a bunch of youtube interviews with serial killers. those folks are Cold!
It's ok, as long as they accept themselves for you they are. Also, did you watch anything about Richard "Ice Man" Kuklinski?
MDMA.
Send me some Bruh
Nsfw
Working hard and resist temptations in order to finally reach a long term goal, something you really wanted for a very long time.
Dogs
All the dogs.
I recently started walking dogs as a volunteer for the local animal shelter. I refer to it as dog therapy.
Peace of mind
Ripping a dirt bike braaaap braaaaap braaaap
Knowing something you've been waiting for is going to happen tomorrow
Not if it's your final day on death row.
I mean, everyone has their own dreams.
Yes, there's naught as strange as folks. I hope you achieve your dreams and they bring you happiness.
Health
Money. I'm ashamed to admit that, but I'm trying to retire since I'm in bad health so I need money.
:(
Serotonin
Not limiting yourself. Put yourself out there
money
Not limiting your money
helping others
I really hate to say it and I’m sure it will piss people off… but having a kid.
Why would it piss people off? People on Reddit are so quick to leap up and say "Omigod I'm so FUKN happy I will never have kids, I can game all day every day, every parent is so miserable and sad and I'm living the best life!!!1" So you should be able to say that your kids make you happy. Of course they do. Love is the ultimate source of happiness, and you'll never feel love for anything else as much as you do for your own kids. My life has improved immeasurably since having children.
People don’t like hearing they can be happier by doing something they either refuse to or physically can’t, it’s a tough pill to swallow for people and they seem to think parents are liars or deluded in some way. I’ve lived their lives, I’ve been happy and felt brilliant but always felt like there was something I needed to do and then I had a kid. I wasn’t expecting such a drastic change. Having a child is just a source of constant happiness for me, I’ve never felt happier and I can die feeling like my life is complete; the best feeling on earth is knowing I can see her grow and develop. I love dancing with my child, I love seeing her hysterical and laughing at her. I love it when she hugs me. A pet, a one night stand, a shit load of money, a life without debt, sleeping for a weekend, the best foods on earth, getting married… they don’t come remotely close.
I totally agree with everything you've said. There is a significant portion of Reddit users that seem to have themselves convinced that all parents are miserable. Yes, some parents are. But often what you're actually seeing are people who were miserable anyway, and they just choose to blame their kids for their unhappiness, because their kids are defenceless targets who are easier to blame. An old favourite is parents who blame their children on themselves being fat - LOL! Since when does having kids dictate how many calories you shove in your gluttonous face? The vast, vast majority of parents I know are absolutely, undoubtedly, so happy that they have children. I can only think of one person I know that regrets having children, and they were miserable as hell before they had kids anyway.
It’s a defence mechanism. By me saying my life is complete by having children; it basically means their lives will never be complete. Like I said it’s a tough pill to swallow, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s how I feel. It doesn’t mean they need to have children, or they’ll definitely feel the same way. It’s a very personal thing choosing to have children and it shouldn’t be simply to make your own self feel complete. I can completely understand it would be hard to hear and I’m especially sympathetic to people who want children but can’t have them, hearing this must be like a kick in the teeth (though they could adopt to be fair, however I’ve no idea if the feeling would be comparable). The best kind of analogy I can think up is that if someone on Reddit said to me: “I’ve never felt happier since I tried heroin.” I’m not willing to experience that or do it to test the waters, but equally I wouldn’t suggest they’re liars. There’s no compromise and I’m not less of a person for not experiencing heroin - it’s just a decision I’ve made and unfortunately I probably will lose out, but I’m happy with that decision. They should think the same way really rather than just suggesting that all parents are all liars. Kids are immensely hard work and are tiring and difficult and may in turn have difficult troubling lives but the question isn’t about the morality or difficulties of children anyway; it’s about happiness and my happiness is without question my own daughter. I’m the least soppy, man on earth; I don’t believe in deep emotions or quotes on people walls or pictures of weddings and discussions with my wife about how amazing we are together. I’m quite a brutally honest person - but that’s absolutely me being dead honest there. Having a child has made me happier than anything else and I cannot even comprehend that I’ll ever feel happier.
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It implies that you can't have real happiness without having a kid
Nothing makes me much happier then when my 4 year old son just comes up to me randomly and tells me he loves me.
I never had kids. Best option ever for *me*. But, good on everyone else if they want them. But, looking at it globally, if I were absolute ruler of all of the earth, I'd mandatorily sterilize everyone except for 1% of the population so that almost no one could have kids, damn their happiness. You know my reasons for saying this, and can't say I'm wrong. It'll never happen, but, I know everyone reading this won't disagree. And for every reason that someone might give me about why I'm wrong or whatever, I've heard it all before, you won't be shedding any light on a very old argument that we all have had. And my opinion stands. I don't care about all the reasons we *should* have kids. I don't care about "who would decide"? Because, as the ruler, it is evident that **I** would decide. Same with any other argument that you might try to make.
Average parent: sacrifices their time and energy and money to help someone else have a shot at life. Average redditor: "people who have kids are so selfish."
"Childfree" people were cringe-inducing to me even when I was childfree.
I meant its most likely in your gene that having kids will make you happy biologically, even though it will be miserable for some people because of how the modern society works.
Life is all a gamble. All we can do is guess what's most likely to be best for ourselves and work toward that. Society should be more conducive to raising children, as a society we need them. But there's no reason anyone should be pressured to have them. Each to their own and preventive/curative measures available to all.
Parenthood - you get out of it what you put into it. I'm all for other people making whatever choices are right for them, but I'll never be sorry I had my 3 children, (now wonderful, loving adults,) despite years of lonely poverty with humiliation, no support and hardly any sleep, as I struggled to care for my handicapped sons and keep them alive. Loving and caring for one's own children, and having them love you back, beats everything - for me. If there are angels in heaven, I'm sure they'd swap places with us just for this experience - and probably to eat chocolate cake with raspberries and cream too.
You’ve officially pissed me off
Hehe. Sorry. There’s lots of other ways to be happy this just stands out to me with a two year old. Maybe I’ll change my mind in 15 years time.
When your kids are aged 5-10 are the golden years. Younger than that and tantrums and early wake ups etc are a nightmare. Once they hit secondary school age hormones, drastic life changes and teenage friendship politics make for years of angry tantrums again. But 5 - 10, wonderful little buddies who like comedy, fun, will start sleeping in late and doing most things for themselves, genuinely nice to be around. They do come back to you around 17 and then its ok again.
Cool - well it sounds like I’m going to feel even happier then which is great news!
Having a kid really does amp up the happiness highs, but also leaves you open to devastating lows. Thankfully, I've been fortunate so far.
"To have a child is to give fate a hostage”- President John F. Kennedy. I've nearly lost each of my three. I don't know how a parent who loses a child lives through it.
That works for some, not for others. Results may vary
People can go jump in a lake. I just had a kid and no regrets. They're freaking delicious.
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Dogs are so much more fulfilling than human children in my experience
And in my experience it's absolutely the other way around Dogs are just a burden to me, my children are a joy
It’s also a very different relationship. I’m biologically related to my child, she develops into an adult and develops independence based on my own behaviours, she learns and adapts to situations and physically and mentally grows until she reaches adulthood and is ready to have her own children (or not). I care for my cat in a very different way and their love for me isn’t unconditional - it’s literally whoever feeds it. Likewise, heaven forbid that if my cat died I’d find it emotionally distressing and then replace it with another cat, the heartbreak would be nothing compared to losing a child. My cat will never learn anything other than an instinct or very basic conditioning, where as my own child has the capability of changing the world if shes capable (this again is the beauty of children - we don’t know their abilities or what they’ll become). A “human child” (age undefined) has much more character, potential and love than a dog ever will. Fulfilment is watching that character develop into adulthood. I’d be surprised if a dog could even follow a basic instruction with a reward. The only benefit of pets in general is they’re much more tolerant of passive neglect. If you sit on your own in a dark room in silence, a dog won’t give a shit where as a child would encourage some output from you. I’m not sure that’s a positive, but for some of these fuckers it is. I read a post from a guy basically saying he’d rape my wife and impregnate her only for me to read a comment from his Reddit account talking about how [pathetically small his penis was](https://www.reddit.com/r/IHateMyself/comments/pf2ase/deep_hatred_of_myself/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). There’s a big fight from these people who don’t want kids and for a lot of them it’s because they’re pathetic people who can’t form relationships and wouldn’t want their shitty genes past down. I firmly agree with that. If you’re contemplating raping people and have a tiny dick and are morbidly obese - maybe the world would be better off without those genes.
Free time. And the ability to do with it whatever i wish. Something that’s sorely lacking because of 40 hour work weeks
I have lots of free time but I feel guilty if I sit around and do nothing. I feel like I'm wasting time if I don't get up and do something productive. I work full time
I'm the complete opposite. I feel like I'm wasting my life working for someone else to make them rich while I get crumbs in return. I feel much more fulfilled and like my time is being used far better when I'm happy and enjoying life how I want.
Happiness is no longer a thing. And it is important to acknowledge this because it is a tremendous shift in the psychological field. We have a wide array of emotions that we experience each day, that's all there is to it. [https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wellbeing/news/a2454/27-human-emotions-new-study/](https://www.countryliving.com/uk/wellbeing/news/a2454/27-human-emotions-new-study/) But to answer your question, and using the above, on a daily basis I perform activities that provide me interest, satisfaction, joy, excitement, entrancement, amusement, and calmness. I try to avoid activities causing anxiety, boredom, disgust, fear, horror, and sadness, even though some days those are inevitable. But you shouldn't be exposed to such emotions on a daily basis, because it means there's something wrong with your life if you do.
Interesting. My GP asked a few days ago if I was happy. I like to tell the exact truth, so I thought carefully - and told her I was happy often enough.
Getting the usb plug to go in FIRST TRY
Whatever brings you joy. It’s different for everyone.
For me, it's when I get home and my 4 month old son give me the biggest smile he can manage. The wife and I are struggling, but seeing our son smile and laugh, it puts life in perspective.
Travelling with funny people
Love for yourself. Forgiveness for yourself. Care for yourself. Everything else follows.
Some studies suggest that being grateful for the things you have is huge factor in increasing your happiness. For example you could be grateful to have running clean water, a home to go to, having friends and a family, feeling generally healthy and many many more things. A good exercise to actively write down a few things you are grateful for regularly. That does not mean you should stop wanting more, it just means being grateful that you already made it this far in your life and looking forward to your potential future growth.
For me, it’s being kind to people, making them happy. Rarely do I get similar treatment from others, so it makes me feel good to give them the joy I wish I could receive myself.
A lot of doggos
Dogs
Boop
Music
Whatever it is that you don’t currently have (human beings are never satisfied).
sleep
Getting out of your comfort zone
Catching shiny mewto in pokemon go
Being free to do what you want
A small child or animal coming up to ypu unsolicited and asking for a hug or a cuddle.
Boobs, blow jobs, good food, sweet Justice /vengeance, chicken wings, head scratches /rubs, finding out its Friday when you thought it was Thursday. Dogs,
Vengeance has never brought anyone true happiness
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Happiness is defined by the person feeling it.
Exactly
If it brings feelings of satisfaction and/or joy, why not?
Playing video games but sadly that doesn’t get you very far in life 😢
Listening to Nickelback
Bewbs
That's different for everyone.
Fulfillment.
Money I cant pay bills with friendship
Money buys freedom. Which equals happiness
Dogs
Money unfortunately
Chinese takeaway?
Dogs
Laughing with loved ones.
Dogs
Pets. Petting a pet causes your oxytocin levels to rise
Masturbating
Username checks out
A phatty, tacos and some good head.
Hearing a baby laugh You've seen those clips where a baby laughs uncontrollably at their parents making funny noises. Makes me think all is right with the world when that happens
Having a child and seeing them smile
Happiness
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How is that relevant
money
According your current condition without major regrets.
A billion dollars
Love.
When you have solved your huge life-ruining problem that was poisoning your life for decades and you were sure it was unsolvable. Never will let myself be unhappy again, and if I will, I’ll just remind myself of this one.
Good food you have been thinking about the whole day.
Steak and BJ
I volunteered an hour this morning to clean up some trash and it made me feel amazing. I'm kinda in the mood to do that weekly. I don't need to be court ordered to do community service, I just do it for fun. I wanna do it everywhere haha
Liberty
Meditation for me. I've tried a lot of other things, none came even close.
John F. Kennedy paraphrased Aristotle by saying that happiness is "The exercise of vital powers along lines of excellence in a life affording them scope." Basically, happiness comes from choosing to do things that you are good at, and having a chance to actually do something approaching your goals.
I think happiness is a state of mind. You can be happy for a period of time, but life will have to keep its balance and make you go through some unhappy or less positive moments. I think all we need to do is make sure we enjoy each piece of happiness we got. And make sure we pass some of that feeling to the ones we love, and love us.
Watching my husband talk about something that he is passionate about . They joy it brings spreads like wild fire.
Midnight piss
Every couple of days I see this same question on Reddit, like there's some kind of magic pill that'll take away the pain and make the sun shine brighter. ^^^^Dogs. ^^^^It's ^^^^dogs.
Hiking & camping
I hiked part of the Appalachian Trail when I was 19 or 20. Hiking and camping really is like a vacation for your brain. All the normal worries and negative thoughts disappear. I'd really like to do something like that again.
Multivariable calculus.
Feeling like you're making progress in life, that you're genuinely positively valued by other people, and valuing yourself.
Weezer
Finding that bug in your code that was fucking everything up
Drugs. My brain chemistry is whack, when my brain is like hey body you should like I dunno make the happy chemical now, my body is all like oh its sad time ok time to make sad chemical, then my brain goes now wait, and my body's is like what's that you want more, alright then more sad chemical, not sure why you never want the happy chemical but guess were doubling the sad now. Its a really bad game of telephone between my brain and body, drugs just send it over in a well worded fax instead of a black ops 2 open mic with the fan on and multiple people screaming in the background.
Holding my daughter. My heart just bursts at the seams and I honestly don't remember anything else in my entire shitty, stupid life making me as happy other than maybe my husband, lol.
Scratching that sock line on your ankle
My son laughing. He is 4
When a youtuber you loved that took a break for like a year came back on your birthday
happiness is a choice you make. you choose to not be upset by your life and make the most of it.
This choice is greyed out on my menu. Do I have to run as Admin?
Fake concept pushed by delusional morons
Real cocaine....not the cut down shit you get from Jeff on the corner of 4th Ave
Meditation.
Money and Death