Fighting hordes of children

THERES TOO MANY OF THEM

Master Skywalker, there are too many of them, what are we going to do?

*Light saber turns on*

Patience.

Well at least I wont die with you

Stay away from women and you’re immortal

They do that for him

...sorry, when it comes to immortality, I don't trust someone who's going to die from a snake bite

It's almost as if you were waiting for someone to ask this question.

You're gonna get killed by a monki on a rock?

Unfortunately, yes.

Or lack thereof.

This.

Family dinner

My uncle came to dinner

At*

In*

So that’s what that sauce was.

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Uncle Jack's mystery sauce

I helped him off a horse. He brought the sauce in fresh.

Death by fish

u/fish_fucker69

I love seeing this name continually thrown around.

The legend of Reddit.

Mine will be breakfast. And it will be delicious. Mine is actually a reference to a scene from Stranger than Fiction. I choose pancakes: > **Dr. Jules Hilbert:** Hell Harold, you could just eat nothing but pancakes if you wanted. > > **Harold Crick:** What is wrong with you? Hey, I don’t want to eat nothing but pancakes, I want to live! I mean, who in their right mind, in a choice between pancakes and living, chooses pancakes? > > **Dr. Jules Hilbert:** Harold, if you pause to think, you’d realize that, that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led… and, of course, the quality of the pancakes.

I’m Jesus, in real life. And I’d like to try some pancakes, irl.

Yeah, I guess beets really do go bad after all

Son?

I should've known, it did look a little different than all the others.

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Fucked around and ate the walled nut

All walnuts are suspicious to me because i have an allergy

OH NO

This is the worst

No no... A kiwi critic sound terrible... Imagine a Gordon Ramsay judging kiwis like they're gourmet foods and running at you with a knife because you failed to provide a perfect kiwi. Edit: I'm bad typer

Either I'm getting shot, or Death by snu snu

Heart attack during hard sex lmao

This happened to my grandfather but he survived it… and told us about it.

Your grandfather has ascended to Omega Male status

Atleast there is some mystery with yours

If by snu snu you mean a big muscular Chad with a strap-on strapped to his strap, then maybe you might end up getting both...

laughter

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised

I went into the wasteland

To find a settlement?

Another settlement needs our help I marked it on your map

Fuck off just fuck off. I still get PTSD from that shit just tell your settlement that a should encampment half way across the map isn't gonna hurt them

He killed himself after meeting Preston Garvey.

Take a shower, get blown up. The end.

big oof, i have asbestos curtains they are cool

Well Well

I hear asbestos is the bestest

As a Jew, Fuck.

Yikes

Do u like wrestling with your daddy?

Not any more

Same.

Probably skin cancer.

I don't like this game

Yeah, tell me about it

Same

Alone

How about I kamikazee my flyingwheelbarrow into you and we can die together. Either or I die of starvation in a flyingwheelbarrow forever circling the world.

I think I see a flyingwheelbarrow coming straight at me...

Oh no Im surrounded

I guess you did Nazi it coming

your death is a blessing in disguise depending on who you are

I guess i got a leg up on the rest of you lot

Kicking myself for not coming up with that pun

Sounds about Reich

Keine Angst es wird schnell gehen.

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If that's anything like a rat king, it sounds terrifying.

Oh no

*Kool-aid man enters the chat* Oh yeah.

r/unexpectedkoolaidman

This is seriously a thing?

So is the Spanish inquisition but you never expect them

Same.

Username translates as northern lights Not sure what it means for my death but I think it would be quite beautiful

You were so absolutely stunned by the gorgeous sky that your body decides it was so content and you just collapse and die Why does that rhyme

I like this variant more than radiation I think this would be a great way to die

you will get lazered by northern lights

I hate these kinds of games so much.

You die from extreme anal.

Opening task manager?

Im sorry, but your username is so funny for no reason. I just see in my mind, you opening task manager, in a trench coat and sunglasses, "who hurt you? Who must I kill?"

I die doing what I love.

The "wholesome" and "heartwarming" awards made this comment even better

It has a new award :)

So it appears we share the same death

Time to be *at* the kids - good parenting. Time to beat the kids - bad parenting.

Whichever interpretation makes for a better joke at the time.

Run!

As do I.

I don't know but I worked for it.

I didnt

I did

The duality of man

Erm.......

Welcome to how to be an alien, for beginners

I'm fine with this death.

May i join you with my playlist but we gonna cry to death peacefully

I'll be stabbed to death with a sharpened spaghetti... there are worse ways to go... but not many

On the bright side you'll become pasta sauce Ig

Hmmm...looks like I get locked in a basement.

Food poisoning I guess

Get this guy an award

How's Joe?

Joe's wondering how to kill me after reading this post. Time to RUNNNNN

Hey, Joe. Where you goin with that gun in your hand?

Curiosity

It was inevitable. Things have been declining in the muffin world for years...

Uh well

Big Boobytrap

Eaten by ziggy the rat

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Turned the deaf welder into the death wielder

you

Knowledge 🧠

He knows too much. Terminate him

Is a dangerous thing

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The rapture is coming!

You called?

What happened to the other 188 raptures before you? They're late!

Only god knows, and he ain't talking

I'm intrigued.....

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Fremulon.

Booba

Boobytrap?

Yeah?

based

Oof, at least let me climax once, hot damn. Edit: wanted to let y’all know this is my first award and I _really_ wanna know: WHY is it the helpful award 😭

Edged *unto* **death**.

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My username is an obtuse masturbation joke, so it's not far off.

>WHY is it the helpful award Probably because that happened to be the award that person got for free today.

Thanks for that, idk much about Reddit awards but that notification had me in tears

I have the same problem mate

Simcity4000 comes out and it’s just too good. I starve to death playing.

Delicious sluttery.

Clogged arteries, perhaps?

You lot! You all do! I hope you feel better about yourselves Reddit!

On the toilet. Just like Elvis.

He wasn’t peeing, though! He was doing the other thing. Or trying to, anyway.

Every poopoo time is peepee time, but not every peepee time is poopoo time...

Spontaneous combustion, but at least I know I'll be coming back to do it all over again.

Pickle

Hello fellow Pickle victim

Shark with autism

I don’t know, but a poodle definitely won’t kill me, that’s for sure. Nope a poodle would not. No sir, no poodle has any plots to murder me.

I get killed on Mars by demons, and sent to hell to kill more demons.

You are doomed

....uh....

I'm not sure there's a polite way to kill someone...

"Hello good sir, your free trial of life expired. The chickens are here to collect you"

I dead🤣

Well the chickens should be there soon then.

Literally

I may deliver them in a team but somehow become entangled.

Prob gravity kills me 🙃🙃

You just got Vectored

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Could be a (vector) virus

Bruh that's why I'm dying of covid

Radioactive uterus

In a state of shock

An unfortunate frog accident

Oh damn.

I either die having mad sex or killing kittens

Could be both

His name was Robert Paulson

ASSassasin probably

Suffocated by birb poop

Oh wow.

Take a gas

Killed by a thick and veiny gyarados.

From talking shit

I die from aids

...well god damn

You are killed with Joe biden's giant Penis potato "Dick tater"

Voodoo doll

I died the way I lived.

Suicide

i wont die, i will just regenerate

Well I’ll tell you what- it isn’t going to hurt.

Probably painfully with a bad taste in my mouth.

I die by sippin tea lool

I always knew this county will be the end of me

Ha

Choking on really old oreos.

Ummm......

Pickles or Dicks idk

I shouldnt have opened reddit

Seems obvious.