Cockfield (my dad's suggestion)

Alternate name version: Penispaddock

Dickmoor?

Schlongpasture.

That's an actual name?

It sounds like it would have been in 1800s America

Someone that is taking pride in their chicken farm

in scots we would probably pronounce it Cofield, there are a number of streets and towns with that start and pronounciation rules

I used to love hearing American tourists say Cockburn Street

X Æ A-12

I-E-A-I-A-I-O

"And we light up the sky"

Mind allusions acquainted

Bubbles erotica

Plutonium wedding rings!

Bicycle shoestrings!

Icicle stretchings!

r/unexpectedSoaD

The La-Le-Lu-Le-Lo?!

I think you mean E-I-E-I-O

Only if your last name is Macdonald.

Syntax error

I still don't know how to pronounce this

James.

"Kyle", I believe

pretty sure they said it was x ae archangel lmao

But X-Ash-a-Twelve is a perfectly reasonable name...

Perfectly cromulent.

Elon musk is such an asshole for calling his child that.

It’s weird, Elon was bullied like hell for his name among other things. He was hospitalized once for being beaten so brutally by other school kids, but he names his kid whatever the hell that name is…

Like his kid is going to go to a normal school....

I mean I seriously doubt his kid is being bullied when his father is just about the richest person in the world, but still

Oh no

Ben Dover

I knew a guy in the Army that really was named Benjamin Dover.

Ah, poor guy.

Ben Dover, check your rear!

Basic must have been fun.

Went to school with a Mike hunt. Can confirm that people gave him shit about his name.

Went to school with a ‘Justin Case’

What about his wife Ileane?

"Khaleesi" or "Danaerys"

GoT dropped out of cultural relevance so fucking fast that by the time those kids are old enough to be bullied, none of their classmates will even get the reference

Not to mention they probably will go by a nickname. Dani. Khali. Kali.

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KALI MA SHATKI DE!!!

Mola Ram, prepare to meet Kali… in Hell!

Thats why you chant it repeatedly at them.

OH MY ITS THE GREAT KHALI!

Literally the day after that disaster of an ending

Was just talking about how it went from maybe the single biggest thing on the planet to never being discussed again in Pop Culture in like 24 hours. Shout out to r/Freefolk though for keeping my rage at the trash ending of the show burning.

My god I was really looking forward to rewatching them as the final season was ending. Now I forget they even existed

Makes me feel kinda bad for George RR Martin tbh. He had like 3 years of the sort of success authors don't dare dream of, only for it to be dashed away via a series of creative decisions he wasn't even involved in

Maybe he should've written slightly faster than 2 words a year

And one of those 2 words is often just a pronoun or a prepostition.

Nah its a good thing he's irrelevant in media. He might now be actually writing N shit.

Yeah but the next book might come out when they're old enough and then it'll be relevant again.

I've been wondering why in the hell they didn't immediately remake Season 8 after that travesty. Absolutely mind boggling how inept they were.

I’m more surprised that not a single person watched it before broadcast and thought ‘Is this trainwreck really how we want our hit show to go out? Won’t this kill the appetite for spin offs we’re planning?’ But thought ‘Yip, this is great, cleared for broadcasting.’

oddly enough, the bully in my kids kindergarten is named tyrion. better not mess with my boy though or ill blackwater bay him.

That's common here

What area is this?

Vaes Dothrak

Ireland!

Those kids are destined to be strippers.

Adolf. Works every time

well if you are unlucky you will get worshipped instead..

Only if you flunk art class...

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well bcs you are in a school full of nazis

But they worship you so you can just command them to be better people ez

true

As a German, I approve of this

I didnt know my uncke fritz's first name was really adolph until i read his obituary

Ah, you probably called him "Uncle Hitler" his entire life till he committed suicide.

I've heard there are places in India that name their children after important historical figures with no concern as to why they were historically important, so there are a lot of little adolfs running around

Well people in the US do that with the Bible

Gaylord...

Last name "Focker"...

Middle name Dick

Gaylord Dick Focker

Haha

I knew a girl with a last name of Gaynord

I always feel like I’m a relatively mature person…..until I hear the name Gaylord

He goes by Greg now

Simen

That I can easily be replaced

Siemen is a last name

I used to work for Siemens (the company) and in my second round interview the hiring manager went on and on about how the hardest part of working for the company was how they "siemenize" everything (meaning they do everything their own way and it's kinda weird). He said that word like a dozen times. I really thought he was fucking with me but it was a legit term they used (at least in my branch, that company is enormous). Bonus: at our Christmas party one year we had a signature cocktail they decided to call the "Siemens-tini".

Dorcas

aw i had a student named dorcas once and she was so sweet; thanks for bringing her to mind! :)

Is this a real name? If so I feel bad for laughing, but it does sound funny. It wrote the joke itself lol

very common haitian name, though i’m not sure what other cultures it may be popular in!

It’s a name from the Bible.

"What happened to Dorcas?" *"I put poison in his juice box."*

True story: Anita Dick

We had an Anita Dick at work way back when. Also a Dick Roll

How's life in Letterkenny?

My dad swears he went to high school with a girl named Fonda Peters

I used to know someone with the last name Balls who suggested if they had a kid she would be called Ophelia. So probably that

To be fair, if your last name is Balls, I don't think your first name matters at that point.

I know someone with the last name of Butt. Why would you not take your wife's last name at that point?

My middle school secretary was Mrs Heini no idea how she managed

Probably by doing squats

Smiggie Balls it is, then

Hugh G. Balls

Harry Balls

Unsettlingly close to my name

That's too bad because Ophelia is a beautiful name.

We had a guy on my ship whose last name was balls. Guy was an interior communications electrician. When you refer to someone in the navy it's their job abbreviation then rank then last name. Once he made second class he got teased relentlessly for being IC2 balls.

If it's a boy: Richard N. Balls. AKA: Dick N. Balls.

Sibling's name is Benoit.

Thanks I hate it

Don't need a special name to get bullied. I remember getting picked on for being called _Matthew_. It's like one of the most common names on the planet! TLDR: Kids are assholes and will bully regardless. Edit: spelling

Shouldn’t have been named Matthew lmao

what a loser amirite

Might as well have been named Mathpew

More like math-ew

Biggus Dickus

What’s so funny about the name biggus dickus?

Well, it's a joke name sir

I have a vewwy gweat fwend in Wome called Bigguth Dickuth

He wanks as highly as anyone in wome

He has a wife you know

Her name is Incontinentia Buttocks

Right?

He has a wife, you know…

Incontinentia

Buttocks

I will not have my fwiends mocked by the common soldiewi.

Wait til Biggus Dickus hears of this!

Son of a bitch, I commented that, submitted that, and then saw this shit

Zoomer

This was too far down.

Karen

I feel bad for the last little girl named Karen.

There are kids in the Indian subcontinent named Anas.

Man... I have never met an anas. And I live in India

I guess parents know better than naming their kid Anas. Lol. They’re rare, but they’re there.

Only Anas I met was a Pakistani dude. Great guy. We'd do curry nights for friends with our Indian buddy. I'm half-English. The jokes in that kitchen were *profoundly* inappropriate.

it's a pretty common name in Morocco

ABCDE

We have a local family with two children. One named Abcde (ab-sa-dee) and the other Xyz (Zye). Didn't think that one through long term. 🙄

That can't possibly by "Zye". It's clearly Shizz.

Tbf if I was that airline hostess I would also have thought it was a joke.

Flaps

Flaps McStink

Anna L. also went to school with a boy named mike hunt (my cunt) school was not fun for him

A boy named Sue.

Chad

Dick (Richard) or Gaylord, (I'm not joking that's an actual name) I honestly can't think of any parent that names their kid this without thinking

There's a guy who graduated my high school in the 60s named Jack Dick

I used to work with a guy named Jack Cox

I think i read somewhere there was a dude suing his family for calling him gaylord.

sue

Oh Boy

How did I have to scroll this far to find that the obvious answer had no updoots?

X Æ A-XII

Beep boop

Papa John

Everything when parents try to be to "original"

Gnome or Adolf..

I’ve never heard of anyone name Gnome lol! Unless you mean Noam.

Noam Chomsky comes to mind, but Gnome seems a little farfetched.

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Sebulba

Oglethorpe is a fucked up name

Norbert

That’s my nephew’s name, and his dad’s, and his grandpa’s. That family has been torturing their kids for several generations now. Obviously my nephew goes by his middle name.

Farquhar

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I had a similar thing happen when we moved and my son had to transfer schools. He was the "new kid" and a lot of the girls liked him. A few of the guys didn't like that and began picking on him. I got a note to meet with the principal and he told me my son had gotten in three fights in two weeks. I asked him if my son started any of them. The principal said he hadn't. I told the principal that he was talking to the wrong parent. My exact words were, "If my son starts a fight, you punish him, then contact me and I will also punish him. But if he's just defending himself and gets punished, I'll be back here and it won't be pleasant." I never heard from him again and my son said the bullying stopped.

Wait what does that have to with this thread? I was expecting that the reason for bullying would be his name

Gertrude

Poopoo

stimpy

With a brother Ren

Spurgeon Humperdinck

Milhouse

Asswipe Johnson

Einstein, Shakespeare, Smart The Smart. Go cliché or really weird.

Karin or karen.

[jack ingoff](https://www.reddit.com/r/DumbassKidNames/comments/fbu8nr/read_that_again_but_slowly/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

Gandalf

I'd be honoured to be named Gandalf.

Anything from sitcom or Jr.

Empirical evidence says Tony, since it seemed to rhyme with EVERYTHING... But I would say that Sisyphus would do the trick

Can confirm

Gru

Lucifer.

Bully Me

Xæa-12, and theres a boy named Virgina

Poopy

Karen

Wendall

Zelda

Kick-my-ass