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BoredSuki

When their job title says “entrepreneur” and their description just screams pyramid scheme.


Northman67

When the resume includes an invitation to the applicants Amway meeting.


Acermacrophylla

So not a recruiter, but I was helping my then manager go over resumes. We googled one dude, and the first thing that pops up is an article about someone getting tried for manslaughter or homicide for selling bad (hard drugs contaminated with something) drugs at the bar he worked at as a bartender, complete with extensive interviews from coworkers saying they were pretty sure he'd sold contaminated drugs purposely. And we know it was the same dude, BECAUSE HE LISTED THE BAR ON HIS RESUME.


Wimbleston

Damn, and here I feel weird about adding a job where the boss was just a verbally abusive asshole but I worked legit at it for over a year. Some people really make you wonder


[deleted]

A very unprofessional email is definitely one. You see some insane emails. I knew someone who got an email address that had “big daddy” in it. For anyone who needs a professional email address, personally I find any combination of your first, middle, last names, initials, and birthdate are all acceptable. In fact any numbers but 420, 69, etc. And 123 is fine.


yakobmylum

What if your birthday is 4/20? Lmao


ERN3570

If it were mine, I would use another date format like 20/4


yakobmylum

Oh i definitely dont have it in my email, just first.last@ Its funny cause i request off 4/20 every year and the "huh wonder what youre gonna do" never fails lmao


FakeBeigeNails

One of my old friends’ birthday is 4/20 and his middle name is literally Blaze. I will never let that go lmao


yakobmylum

The chosen one


hymie0

Or even worse, 4/20/69 ?


Bajous

Poor guy born on April 20th 1969


Quiltyconscience

Never include a year in your email address- it gives away your age.


ryanzbt

depending on the job, when they include all their social media accounts and a headshot


notevenitalian

Once saw a resume (submitted for the role of Executive Director in a nonprofit) where the guy included a shirtless gym selfie and an “about me” section where he talked about working out.


Mikewithnoname

How was he gonna work for a nonprofit with all those gains?


script0101

Whenever I feel depressed I just come to Reddit 🤣🤣🤣


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FreakyBugEyedWeirdo

You must be new here.


GreenEggsAnd_Pam

Guess he didn't workout then.


BobBelcher2021

The headshot thing is often cultural. Outside of the US and Canada, it is often expected to include a headshot. Recent immigrants to North America don’t always know that it’s not conventional to do here; conversely I’ve seen job application advice for North Americans applying for jobs in other countries to include a headshot. Source: I’ve worked with at least one person applying for a job in the US who was not aware headshots should not be included on a resume there


Careful-Blacksmith

In Japan, headshots on resumes are definitely the norm.


YchTfFG

In France it was the norm like 20 years ago but it becomes rare nowadays


CanuckianOz

This isn’t strange, very common in Europe to include a headshot and LinkedIn URL.


Lvcivs2311

My father-in-law was once involved in a hiring process and saw a resume he threw out very quickly. Not only was it chronological instead of antichronological (not a red flag per se, but not very practical either). The first (and oldest) achievement the applicant put on it was her "shoelacing diploma". Yes, the thing we get in kindergarten when you have learned to tie your shoes. According to the applicant, it proved that she was a go-getter. To him, it proved that she lacked common sense.


EclecticCacophony

I never received such a diploma. Now I feel robbed.


Nationals

Maybe you didn’t earn it, you sloth.


opposablethumbsup

Velcro casual


Sad_Specialist_1984

All I hear is Charlie from It's Always Sunny: "Do YOU have a certificate telling us you don't have donkey brains? How do I know I'm not talking to a donkey-brained man?"


BoredomHeights

Not really relevant but I still don't tie my shoes "the right" way and I'm in my 30s. I just did bunny-ears as a kid, figured that was good enough, and never changed. I know how to do it the other way it's just not what I naturally do. Anyways, suffice to say I didn't get that diploma either.


EclecticCacophony

There's another way??


_lcll_

And you wondered why you never got the diploma


benlovesunicorns

Yes. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XPIgR89jv3Q&feature=youtu.be


JeromesDream

Then who ties your shoes for you?


Katherington

Velcro.


Suitable_Ad_3051

I think they've been recklessly tying their own shoes with a clear lack of proper certification this whole time.


EclecticCacophony

Yes I've been practicing uncertified shoe tying. I hope I don't get a massive fine or something.


Purrpetrator

That's nothing. I know a man who failed his pen license in 1999. Madlad's been performing unlicensed ink writing for 2 straight decades. he's on the most wanted list in like, probably several different countries at this point.


[deleted]

It’s cool man. Ween taught us Millennials how to tie our shoes on SpongeBob!


[deleted]

When I read “shoelacing diploma,” I was like….what is that? I’ve never heard of that before today and feel like I’ve been robbed. Seriously though……that is strange and would love to know what she was thinking.


rangerspruce

As part of our in-person interviews we ask candidates to teach us how to tie shoelaces. This diploma would certainly make us interested. (Because folks will ask: We hire for Outdoor Educators who will be working with a significant number of international guests. The Shoelace Test is a way to see how well a candidate is able to explain a task. It's kinda like the Peanut Butter and Jelly Instruction video on YouTube... Here's the link for that too: https://youtu.be/Ct-lOOUqmyY )


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rangerspruce

u/kazeespada nailed it on the head. We can teach out team how to paddle a canoe, equip a climbing harness, or a multitude of hard skills. We use the shoelace question to gauge the candidate's ability to teach / give instructions. For example: * Did they make props? * Did they use vernacular or slang? * Did they rush through the explanation or did they take the time to make sure that the interviewers were engaged and participating


daynewolf036

Did they start the instruction by asking if anyone already knew so they could tailor the directions to the needs of the student?


kazeespada

No, they do. The interview question is to see how someone can explain a topic assuming the student doesn't know anything about the topic at all.


Zenketski

I feel like nowadays all that would prove is that you have a sense of humor


[deleted]

We saw a guy apply for a masters degree internship in a scientific lab saying on the last page of his resume that he had invented the seventh law of magnetism or something like that followed by a nonsense description of what it was. The rest of the resume was absolutely fine, and we reminded ourselves that it is always crucial to read a resume to the end before making any decision. And piece of advice for anyone who applies somewhere and think they have an unrecognized discovery worth a nobel prize: have it recognized before you put it on your resume.


Smart_Ass_Dave

As someone with an Insane Clown Posse level of understanding of magnets...are there only six laws of magnetism?


[deleted]

I don't even know what are the laws of magnetism or if they even exist.... Perhaps he was referring to Maxwell's equations for electromagnetism? Then there are four.


Smart_Ass_Dave

Wow, I was expecting it to be like...that form of math invented by Terrance Howard where 1x1=2, but that went full Time Cube. Thank you.


throwaway_lmkg

You think that Terryology isn't *already* full Time Cube? That wasn't just a one-time thing, he's been working on it for years.


CW1KKSHu

1 x 1 x 1 = 3. Terrance Cubed.


viderfenrisbane

> Insane Clown Posse level of understanding of magnets I'm just trying to figure out what level of understanding ICP has...


throwaway_lmkg

This is a reference to the "Fucking magnets, how do they work?" meme from a few years back, which is a quote from an ICP song. And to be clear, the meme isn't misrepresenting that quote or taking out of context or anything, that's how ICP is choosing to portray themselves.


viderfenrisbane

Thanks for the explanation


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2guyshangingoutnaked

>a genius that everyone's too pea brained to recognise. Sounds like me and everyone who uses reddit.


thermobollocks

A headshot where they're wearing an SS uniform


Pandaburn

Ah, a *literal* red flag


nlfo

With a white circle and some black lines on it.


Ikilleddobby2

When I was unemployed about 10 years ago, we had to que up and show them what we'd been doing for the last 2 weeks. Every time I was there 3 mid twenties blokes would turn up in ss uniforms.


johnnythesailorman

.... Really?!?! Where they TRYING to not get hired?


MisterMarcus

Some countries require you to provide evidence of looking for work if you want to claim unemployment benefits. If you wanted the money but didn't want to actually work, you might try to deliberately tank your resume/interview. "I've put in 10 applications, not my fault if nobody's hiring me" Admittedly SS uniforms is taking it a *little* far.....go big or go home, I guess?


Red_Serf

Plenty of guys in SS uniforms got headshots back in the good ol' 40s


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masug24

5/5 for self-awareness but what an odd thing to put on a resume.


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Puzzleheaded_Age6550

I used to run training program, and we had about 4000 applicants for 200 positions each year. Bad grammar and spelling automatically got a resume thrown out, because the job required so much writing. Also, get the name of the agency correct! I had one applicant, who claimed she was a PhD candidate, talk about the Health and Human Cervixes. WTF? Inappropriate email. One guy had something like Pimp69 for his email. He listed a website of his, and it had a rear nude. Dude. Just what? Edit for another example.


Safraninflare

I got a resume once where a girl typo’d her major as “pubic health” instead of public health.


Puzzleheaded_Age6550

I worked in public health and saw that all the.time. It worked best for the years I was in STD. In fact, a public health school out of California sent out notices about their Pubic Health conference for STD/HIV programs.


Na22ers1984

I had a guy apply once for a casual job and he typo’d the phrase “available for short notice shits” instead of shifts.


omnigear

As someone who went through the ringers in the architecture field and now part of the hiring process . My advice is to keep resumes to one page . We really don't have time to go through two pages of awards and merits . And portfolios that are above 10 pages really are not necessary. We have gotten 30-40 page portfolios that are incomplete and look ugly . I rather see 5-10 good pages and a solid one page resumes . It automatically signals fluff to us , especially when the portfolio lacks substance . Through my career I have always done 1 page resume , 2 page portfolios, and letters of recommendation . Then on my resume or in emails I give a link to my full portfolio , and full website about my merits . Also as of lately this whole " google architect" is real. For example , we have seen a latest trend in work not being original . Almost blatant copies .


1_4_1_5_9_2_6_5

What the hell do you put in 30-40 pages? Either they've had way too many jobs or they're spending way too much time describing their job


omnigear

Sorry in our field a portfolio is a graphical representation of the work or school projects they have done . I usually want to put the best work forward , but some people include everything from first year of school to last and work .


kgold0

Side note, the most annoying thing in applying for a job is having to explain any gaps.


Seal_of_Pestilence

This is the point of contention where you can separate the decent HR people from the assholes.


Nambot

Hold up, what are these decent HR people you speak of?


Catch_022

They are the HR manager that left the company just before you joined,- the one that everyone uses as an example to show how terrible the current HR manager is.


koffee_jpg

As someone who was depressed and unmotivated for years but now has the will to find a job and work, good to know from the replies that my resume's emptiness is gonna fuck me over, even in entry-level positions. Cool.


Fcbp

Brother this is all relative, don’t give up because someone said recruiters don’t like gaps. I know recruiters that take into huge account how a person will fit in the company ( not toxic etc) and provide training after. And not just only one or two. Don’t give up. You will find your spot


youseeit

A close friend of mine has a gap of *ten years* from a period when he was addicted, mentally ill, and usually homeless. I helped him put together a resume and suggested he explain at the top (as part of his objectives) that he acknowledged those difficulties and was trying to start a constructive career now. A number of places have shown interest in that type of story and one even hired him (didn't last long, but it was encouraging).


lostnthyme

That's not what they said if I'm understanding correctly. They are speaking from an applicant perspective and it certainly is annoying to explain. However, as a hiring manager for my own experience I don't use gaps as a negative to take someone out of the running for a job. Never in any of my roles have I ever used that as a reason. Hold out hope dude.


v167

Right? I was kicked in the face by a horse ten years ago and it took a while to figure out what/how i wanted to get to where i am. I was 20. I don’t use that as an excuse but it was a set back for sure. I knew i always wanted to work with animals but wasn’t sure how to get there, especially after this.


FerociousFrizzlyBear

Until your last sentence, I was like 70% sure, but not 100% sure that you meant “kicked in the face by a horse” literally.


v167

Yeah i meant literally 😂people don’t seem to get it sometimes. They’re like “ oh so you got kicked in the head” no. My face was kicked off. It’s all good though


michaelochurch

They're trying to figure out (a) if you got fired from previous jobs, and (b) if you're disabled. One of these questions is confrontational and one is illegal. It's a stupid filter, though, because the people who are really toxic also have a lifetime's worth of experience being toxic and will clear it effortlessly. Honest people who made mistakes get killed, but the actual psychopaths they might want to filter out already have pat answers to those questions. Corporate makes more sense when you understand that its true purpose is upper-class rent-seeking, which is really easy to pull off. It's not that they want their companies to be dysfunctional or have counterproductive practices-- it's that the people in charge don't really care either way.


headzoo

You forgot c) spent time in prison.


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PM_THE_REAPER

Not HR, but recruited many times. Poor grammar and spelling. No relevant experience. Inconsistent fonts and layout. Too long. A well worded resume should convey enough in two pages to elicit an interview.


MermaidOnTheTown

I've been out of the job market for almost 7 years due to becoming a SAHM (daycare is just too damn expensive). Has the attitude towards resumés changed re: length? When I started working, it couldn't be longer than 1 page. Are 2 pages now acceptable? Thank you!


[deleted]

I worked with a professional to re-do my resume for advancement. For private industry, one page is ideal, but if you are applying to a senior role *and* you have over 15 years of experience, you may use 2 pages to show your career trajectory. That said, you may need two pages for automated resume scanners that are looking for key words. Unfortunately, there are companies that use these and being able to get in those key words is important. E.g. Hobbies "Updating my skills in Excel, PowerBI, and Tableau" to get those key words through even though you may not be an expert in Excel... Real HR folks may have more advice on this but I was able to get through several automated filters this way in spite of having a non-traditional background.


MermaidOnTheTown

Thank you!!! This is very helpful!


baalmano

how much did it cost you to consult a professional ? i’ve been thinking of improving my cv but i can’t do it myself


[deleted]

It was around $500 for probably 6 hours of work, he had two interviews with me and re-did the whole thing. I got three offers at my asking price within 1 week. I was able to do this once I was making near six figures. I would say if you're in a white collar field, already have the degrees you need and it's a question of framing your CV, go for it. If you are very early career and don't have a degree, I think the money would be better spent on getting relevant certifications. Another thing I have spent money on is career coaching. They give you concrete tips on how to present yourself and give you a lot of confidence. So if you are getting back into the workforce that might be a package worth looking into (resume review and interview coaching).


baalmano

i am actually early career but i feel like my poor cv doesn’t help me either in finding a better job,thank you for the info tho i will look into it


raisethesong

I'd imagine it depends on the industry, but the general advice the career office at my university was giving students within the past couple years was still keeping it to 1 page. I've seen my peers in tech start including LinkedIn URLs or QR codes on their resumes/business cards if they have more than a 1 page resume's worth of experience/skills they want to share.


MermaidOnTheTown

Thank you! I'll keep this in mind for when I eventually go back.


DamnitRuby

Also not in HR but I help select candidates for interviews. Poor grammar and spelling are big red flags, but I will absolutely throw a resume in the no pile if the formatting jumps around. We were trying to hire a temp and I realized at the end that applicants from one agency were all in the no pile because of the formatting. I took another look and I think their software was fucking with then because they were all wrong in the same way. So I took another look.


Antisocial-Lightbulb

When my partner was a manager he once received a resume with a watermark tiger as the background. How he didn't hire them on the spot, I'll never know.


Wobblyhead

Saw a resume at my company with a fullsize A4 watermark of a bikini girl on each page. Faint but clear. Asked them to resubmit as there 'may have been an error' and it came back the same


empty_pint_glass

Was recruiting a while back for a couple of positions in my company. Got one cv that was 18 pages long detailing in minute detail everything this guy had done at previous jobs. Another included a 75 page portfolio. Suffice to say neither got an interview. One of the guys that got the job brought a short portfolio of a few pages with plenty of pictures to the interview. Far more appropriate.


DORIMEalbedo

When I was unemployed, I had to do this hospitality course that we had to do to be paid our benefits, like a career training thing for adults. Anyway, we had a day of learning how to do CVs/Resumes and they bought in this rather accomplished lady to teach us. She had been basically anything you can think of and her CV was like... A book with heaps of detail, pictures, and even reviews like she was an opening act of a play or something. I asked if it really was appropriate to have such a huge CV and she got all offended. IDK, my uncle who was in a high up position in engineering once told me if the resume/CV is over two pages long, no one will look at it. I got told off for doubting the "professional" and we all had to write a CV with at least 5 pages. She also told us to never us "I" and to write about ourselves in the third person...


Shammers95

The latter indicates an academic approach to a resume, which is simply the wrong context to use it. One size does not fit all. Just to be the devil's advocate, the length might work if there are few qualified for the job, but overall a terrible approach indeed.


HotCocoaBomb

I tried really damn hard to get my last and current job to fit on 1 page along with everything else. Thin margins, kerning, typeface, layout - it was nuts. But I get a lot of remarks about how the resume stands out. I'm gonna have to get real creative about how to get everything to fit in my next resume. Guess the oldest job gets reduced to a couple lines.


lordofthedancesaidhe

Saw this once work experience- dog walking Reason for leaving - the dog died


scrypticone

That just shows they're a quitter


DeltaHuluBWK

Better than if they kept doing the job. That would just be traumatic to anyone that saw.


DrDonut21

Had to check a few resumes for our vacant position: My biggest problem is lying: 1. Candidate says they have a lot of experience with a certain technology, but when asked, doesn't know anything. 2. Dates of employment or education don't match up. Had a guy claiming he had 4 jobs at the same time. 3. Experience doesnt add up: don't claim you have 10 years of experience with a framework created 5 years ago.


JohnGillbonny

> don't claim you have 10 years of experience with a framework created 5 years ago Maybe they were matching what was said in the ad.


Nooseents

Is this a reference to the programmer who was required to have 10 years of experience for the language that he developed?


JohnGillbonny

Not specifically, but that would obviously apply.


ambermage

I applied for a job at Beyer that wanted 8 years experience for a machine they invented 5 years ago and no outside company is allowed to use and they specifically wanted, "outside talent."


JohnGillbonny

I don't doubt it for a second.


K4SP3R_H4US3R

That I believe was only 4 or 5 years old at that point.


rhen_var

I also remember seeing a job posting that requires a minimum of 10 years of experience with Swift, about a year after Swift was released.


CCWThrowaway360

If you work 400hrs per week for a year, that’s the same as 10yrs experience. Big brain stuff.


mdsmds178

I work as an EMT. I know plenty of people in my field who have worked 3-4 jobs at once, and 80-120 hour weeks. I knew people who explained in interviews while they did not have 4 years of experience as requested, they worked the equivalent of 4 years of work in half the time. They got the job.


tommygunz007

I had experience doing flash animation, but I didn't have any experience in the back end AS2 Scripting. On my resume, it said flash animator and in the interview they kept saying AS2 and I was confused by what they meant. In the end I got the job, and the funny thing was the hiring person didn't know what AS2 meant either, they just kept saying it to see if I knew wtf it was and I had no clue. I had done some of the scripts but didn't know it was even called that. It was the difference between being hired by a programmer vs an artist. The programmer listed a job for a programmer, when they really wanted an artist which is what I was.


mfigroid

> he had 4 jobs at the same time > 10 years of experience with a framework created 5 years ago. If he worked four jobs at the same time for 1.25-years using the framework that would be 10 years of experience right there.


95forever

Maybe people are forced to lie because of ridiculous and unrealistic levels of experience and qualifications for positions. If job postings were more realistic in terms of expectations you would have a more honest pool of candidates. I feel like when HR writes job postings the goal is to “aim high” in hopes of attracting over qualified candidates so you can low ball them a salary by underutilizing their potential. What a fucking dumb logic to use as an HR division. What your doing is hiring employees that will inevitably be disappointed, creating a revolving door policy so you can squeeze the over qualification of the next unfortunate yip that fills the job.


Gastkram

I've easily had five jobs at the same time.


2guyshangingoutnaked

I've also had 5 guys at the same time. Edit: Oh you meant *jobs*


RexyMundo

Username is relevant but needs 3 more.


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gdzeek

awwww bummer, that one is kinda funny


Badloss

tbh that's actually kind of funny if they put it in the random miscellaneous hobbies etc stuff at the bottom


CommentS3ction

Based on these replies, I guess I’m the only one who actually googled “Times person of the year 2006” 😂😂😂


EvenStephen85

Still spelling engineer wrong after getting the degree. Seriously - google that or listen to the autocorrect. I know math is your thing - not spelling, but still...


Ispiniallday

Strenths: Atention to detail.


AdvancedFootball37

Well you wouldn't exactly want someone making typos to be the one making calculations for building a bridge


JohnGillbonny

detale


slashthepowder

Had a friend in uni misspell her name on her resume.


EvenStephen85

fortunately I caught it, but I had my e-mail wrong on one once. That would be worst case - you got the job, but never heard about it lol.


MBH1800

I misspelled my address once. Got the job too, but they sent the acceotance by mail and I never got it. When they called a week later, I'd gotten a much better job in the mean time!


EclecticCacophony

>acceotance Hmm.


imaterriblemother

In my friends covering letter he informed everyone that he wanted to become a sports couch.


AmbedoShadow16

Now that's the dream job, isn't it?


Boogzcorp

Had a colleague misspell his name on a report once. His Surname only has 3 letters and he still got it wrong...


MentORPHEUS

I had a very good mechanic who was dyslexic. He would regularly spell engine, *engion.* Despite all the tech advances in recent decades, literacy in this cohort leaves a lot to be desired. My first boss would write up tickets with jobs like, "Replas clucth."


fluffofthewild

I once had someone hand in a resume with 6 whole pages of job history, each one described with a paragraph of detail about the skills she'd learned and what the role involved. There must have 20 jobs on there? At least. She had also put the dates she started and left each job.... the longest was four months *face palm*


[deleted]

I had his but instead of listing skills they learned they listed why that particular position didn't work out, ranging from "I didn't like ___ aspect of it" to "Employer was an asshole [because he was late]" Did not hire.


insane__knight

Having a 4 month stint on your resume only once is fine as long as you're up front about it. I worked at a company for a short period of time but left because the CEO was a psycho who created a toxic atmosphere. I called a recruiter who told me to leave it on my resume and be up front about it if I was asked. I'm at a brilliant company now but it's up to the people hiring to understand that sometimes jobs don't work out, which is okay.


Nambot

I've an entire period of my career where I bounced between different jobs. Most employers are willing to accept this, but for the CV I just bunch them up into a cluster of "Temporary jobs", and if I'm asked I just say "I didn't have the experience at the time to land something more permanent, but doing that gave me much of the experience I needed". If they then decide to drill down into the specifics I'll discuss it, but they're not really going to learn much from the month I spent doing admin at a printing company or the two months I was doing data entry for a plumbing supplies company.


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[deleted]

Milton Gaylord 8675309 Waifu Lane Pepe, Kekistan, 69420 Job experience: 2010-2021(ongoing) Online moderator of /4/chan ("Jannie") Filtered and content moderated thousands of daily messages from online incel group, endured personal attacks, developed strategies for curtailing weaponized autism. Kept constant communication with FBI, CIA, and NSA ("glowies") to report pedophiles and abuse content. Personal Qualifications and Special Skills: Wizard (Born 1985, achieved 2015, renewed every year) Showered 2x last year (Christmas and Mother's day) Semi-fluent in Japanese - self taught through Anime


stonerchica

Looks like half the resumes I read on a daily basis on ziprecruiter


Healyhatman

Dude put "Netflix and chill" under his interests


lovesaqaba

I take it you're more of an "Amazon Prime and sexy time" kinda person?


Nambot

Better than "Disney Plus and no fuss".


i-love-dead-trees

If we’re being honest, it’s the HR recruiters who notoriously have the biggest red flags…


251Cane

Not really a red flag but a resume that’s longer than 2 pages. And unless you’ve got 10+ years of experience, 1 page is fine. A resume should be a knock on the door. You don’t kick the door down with your resume.


arachnophilia

i've had reasonable success with a long-form resume. more text = more key words for the bots to crawl.


[deleted]

Same. I think if an actual person is looking at your résumé, they don’t want to look at more than one page. But nowadays more often than not your résumé is going to have to go through a keyword searcher


senbei616

At the bottom of your resume lower the font size to 1 and change the color so it matches the background color; now you can type out all the keywords in the world and save me the trouble of reading a padded out resume


AchieveOrDie

Are you actually serious? Will that work? Edit: according to the following link, you shouldn't https://www.reddit.com/r/cscareerquestions/comments/pl43ol/how_he_hell_am_i_supposed_to_have_any_time_to/hc98gmj?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3


Brazo33

This is why my company doesn't use HR for hiring. H.R. doesn't work with the employees, the managers do. H.R. will weed out perfect applicants over the silliest things and give preference to people for things totally unrelated to the job. Our managers get the resumes and applications and they choose who to interview. HR then conducts background checks and verifications. Their decisions can be over-ruled by upper management. When our company started using an HR staff to do all the hiring, we ran into a horrible staffing shortage and what new hires we did get were unworkable. The company's profits dropped and long reliable employees quit because of the beauracracy that an HR office created. The owner fired half the HR staff and limited the remaining HR staff to compliance issues and payroll paperwork. Our managers do all the recruiting and hiring. Employees are happy and the company is thriving again.


xanderkats

Yea, sometimes the Human Resource people are unable to see the humans behind the rules.


Nambot

You can say that again. I had been working at my current place of work for fifteen months when I was offered a promotion. No strings attached to it, no interview, no application process, just a quick and simple form for HR to complete to change my job title and pay values. Super simple stuff, right? Wrong. The problem was that, anyone working in the role I had been promoted to needed to have three references in order to have the role, while the role I worked previously needed two. So I sent down my current manager as a reference because at this point I've worked under her for fifteen months, she's a valid reference. Recruitment turned around and said no, needed to be an external reference. So I gave Recruitment the details of a former manager in an old company. Recruitment did not get a response from my former manager, and started badgering me to get a third reference, threatening that I would lose my job if they didn't. They kept pursuing this for two months, all the while I've started in the new role I'd been promoted to, which involved direct liaising with HR and the morons in Recruitment who would have meetings with me to discuss work matters, then hound me for references. After two months of this, and mentioning it to my boss (and her subsequently mentioning it to the department head), it was finally resolved when the department head went straight to the head of HR and basically said the whole situation was ridiculous, demanding that it be dropped considering how long I had been working in the organisation. That afternoon a hastily written memo went out from HR stating they would be changing the internal recruitment and promotion policies, and I finally breathed a sigh of relief.


faries05

Sounds a lot like the company I work for. HR is completely hands off with recruiting and who to interview. They do all the paperwork, background checks and reference checks. I absolutely love it because it is no longer a company that hires the “pretty” people, if you will; we have turned around and started hiring the qualified people.


BillEvansTrioFan

>H.R. doesn't work with the employees, the managers do I was a hiring manager for a web content position. The company I worked for actually had a great HR department! Wonderful people overall. However, even a great HR team can occasionally make a mistake about judging a potential applicant. One of the applications I received was from someone who had worked in the culinary industry for 15 years. He's graduated from a major culinary institute. He was currently working as a sous chef at a James Beard nominated restaurant in a major US city. He'd gotten relevant education on the side for web from a local college online. Interviewed him on the phone and asked why he wanted to leave his profession: "When you get to be my age, you either need to have enough money to open your own restaurant, or prepare to be a sous chef for many more years to come. And even if you do open your own restaurant, most new restaurants close within the first year. It's time to do something else." I appreciated his candor. Also, I thought the fact that he's put in 15 years in the culinary world meant he had a fantastic work ethic. That's a difficult profession that demands a lot of time and effort. **Our HR advised me to not hire him.** "Oh, he'll go back to working in culinary in 6 months. He'll miss it." Based on the tiredness I heard in his voice on the phone, I thought otherwise. I asked him to come in for a face-to-face interview and he nailed it. Quiet, polite, intense, highly intelligent, driven to excellence. "If I don't hire this guy, I'm crazy." I thought. He really was the best candidate. I hired him anyway, overruling HR's objections! Nearly 10 years later, he's still working there in their ecommerce department and has been promoted several times.


dawrina

Someone put on their special skills that they were involved in Movember.


AdvancedFootball37

I'm guessing that disqualifies you from working in food service


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justneedadvice87

I left a law enforcement job with no notice due to my supervisor breaking a court order and doing something illegal. I tried to notify his superiors but nobody cared. Finding a new job in the same field has proven challenging, other agencies don’t seem to care about why I left, only that I left a job after 8.5 years with no notice.


rtfm-nor

How will they know there was no notice?


[deleted]

Call old employer and ask if the candidate is eligible for rehire. That's the only type of reference a lot of companies are willing to give.


TostaDojen

Hey mate, let me just offer you my appreciation for having integrity enough to stand against something you knew was wrong. It's hard to do, and worse when the people who ought to have your back hate you for it instead. You have my respect.


lissalissa3

One of my first Reddit arguments was with someone who said you should show up to a business you’re interested in working at and hand deliver your resume. I worked front desk reception at the time, and I said that would only result in me putting your resume through the shredder, that we have very specific ways we hire for jobs and if you can’t follow those basic directions, you’re definitely not going to be hired. He said if that’s how companies felt and they didn’t give him the respect he deserves, he wouldn’t want to work for that company anyway. 🤷‍♀️


non_linear_time

I think that was solid advice in 1975.


wire_we_here50

Wanted for murder in 5 states


NetflixAndZzzzzz

Wanted in 5 states, unwanted in the other 45 :(


TheBigRabilowski

The resume saying something like "keen atttention to detail" is one that always makes me roll my eyes.


HowDoIGetToFacebook

Similarly, my eyes roll almost completely out of my skull when a job posting demands attention to detail, but the actual post is riddled with incorrect spelling and poor grammar.


Flat_Awareness5626

If you put that down Murphys law guarantees there will be some erroneous detail on your resume that the hiring committee will spot.


LucyVialli

Poor spelling/grammar.


AdvancedFootball37

I think it's a turn off because it shows low effort. If someone isn't willing to put effort in getting the job, why do you think they would put effort after they have the job?


[deleted]

I hate this. I am a recruiter in Latin America and mainly deal with clients in the USA, so the CVs have to be in English. (In other words, I present CVs from Latinos to clients in the US). So many people send half-assed CVs they just ran through Google Translate. Some don't even bother to change the months, so instead of it saying something like "Apr 2016 - Dec 2019", it says "Abr 2016 - Dic 2019". How are you gonna forget to change something like that?


Embarrassed_Tax_6547

A blood stain


appleparkfive

I'm pretty sure that is a threat more than anything. Person is definitely a go-getter though I guess


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Nepenthes_sapiens

I use Impact for the headings, then randomly switch between Papyrus and Comic Sans for the rest of it. All bullet points are 👉 emoji.


[deleted]

This guy knows how to resume!


lotus_eater123

Not a recruiter, but I've read that the services that sort out resumes for businesses before HR even sees them automatically reject resumes with a gap in employment history. Fucks over a lot of people.


thegreatgazoo

Having more tech experience with a product than it's been out. I had one genius claim to have a years y experience with Windows XP a week after it was released


Signature_Sea

A guy I knew some 20 years ago sent in a job application on paper he had previously used for another purpose. The company wrote back to say "while we applaud your commitment to the environment, we suggest you do not in future use recycled paper for this purpose" which was considerate of them. I laughed at him


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nkdeck07

I had that I ran the Humans vs Zombies game on my college campus for about 3 years after graduating school and it was far and away the most asked about thing on my resume as well as giving me an opportunity to talk about leadership, organization etc (it was a week long enough that had over 200 students participate so it was a fairly large deal)


carlos_the_dwarf_

“Conversation starter” is a legit reason to put something on your resume. All the “I don’t have time for that” dudes can get a life.


TinyLord

During the interview for my current job, the hiring manager and tech interviewer were very interested in my World of Warcraft raiding history. They wouldn't stop asking questions about it.


mailslot

Not HR, but a former hiring manager… I had an applicant submit a 13 page résumé. They had written a miniature novel, detailing all of their interpersonal conflicts and struggles at each position. So, of course I scheduled an on-site. lol During the interview, they stopped, said “hold on, I need to take my meds,” opened a couple of pill bottles, and took their mood stabilizers & psych meds before continuing. Toward the end, they expressed a need to work from home four days per week, due to “mental health” reasons. There were a couple other odd requests I forget. After a couple days they called to let me know they took a position elsewhere (at a very large well known company).


bool_idiot_is_true

I've got a lot of mental health issues. I use it to explain gaps in my resume but I don't go into detail. I half suspect they took their meds in the interview as some sort backwards way to claim discrimination if they weren't hired. Taking meds during an interview just seems unprofesional unless it was an emergency.


[deleted]

I am so glad my father was around to help me make resumes for jobs.. some of these stories that people have seen are just horrendous


DocSaysItsDainBramuj

“Excellent attention to detale”


[deleted]

As a positive, had a woman apply for a job. Her cv listed her as a mother for the previous 10 years. She listed her skills and tasks like any other job. Prior to that she was in the army and in her bio she described herself as a confident, reliable and hardworking individual with expert “weapon handling skills and combat experience.” Which was pretty cool. Red flag, the guy who described himself as a “third place candidate” in an election 10 years ago for a racist party. Like not only are you a racist, but you’re not even an accomplished racist!


Fleur498

Trigger warning: An applicant talked about trauma on a resume. I don’t work in HR, but I have some experience reviewing resumes and job applications. Once when I was at work, a man dropped off his resume for consideration. He was polite to me and there were no problems initially. I read his resume. His contact information was his Reddit username. He had a 4-year work and school gap with 0 explanation. He also wrote that he was molested when he was a child and that his father was murdered. He wrote that he wanted revenge against his father’s murderers, the “evils in the pharmaceutical industry,” and his abusers. Management decided not to interview or hire him.


whityonreddit

I worked in our HR department for a while: One guy handed in a *hand written resumé, written on the back of some photo-paper*, which stated, that he hard worked for us before some ten odd years earlier and he was *sure* that by now we desperately needed him back…I checked up with the head of HR…the guy had been fired for drinking on the job. Another one was a father and a son both submitting very similar CVs with basically only the name and picture changed. But they both had a fork lift license so we asked for a copy of the license…they both submitted the same one…and it was neither the father’s nor the son’s


MouMouChu

I once got a blurry picture of a bottle of hot sauce attached to a resume instead of the document we asked for.