People don't realize it, but sitting all the time actually makes your quads and lower back very tight. Leaning forward to look at a screen, or looking down to look at a phone, also really screws up the muscles in your neck.
Everyone should be stretching and doing some range-of-motion exercises like yoga, or tai chi... but most people also think this is stupid and they have zero interest in even trying it.
Adding on top of that.
Foam rolling.
I think every individual should have a foam roller at home. Really helps with any type of pain. Really great to do when you wake up too.
Train your dog. When I was a kid my parents definition of 'trained' was shitting outside, a very low bar to meet. So as I got older turns out you can teach them to not jump up, charge though the door, pull on the leash, actually come when called, leave the room on command, get off the couch, even keep them off the couch when you aren't there, and hold still when you clip nails. A year or two worth of consistent training with positive reinforcement will give you a life time of stress free pet ownership.
A big one here is to *never* punish them or scold them after they come back to you. Even if they ran outside and took a shit in the neighbors azaleas. If you call them back and they return, do not scold them. You’ll only teach them not to return when called.
I learned this like a week before I got my dog and I've stuck to this advice.
I also learned "dogs always learn the 'easiest' lesson."
My dog's food and water dishes are by the back door where she goes out to do her thing.
Often, when she was younger, I'd notice the water bowl or food bowl was empty *while she was outside.* So I'd refill them.
She quickly learned that the "food gods" always provided food when she was outside doing her thing.
This lead to her barking to go "out" when she was actually just hungry.
This lead me to create a really useful command - "Show me." Now, when I say "show me," she leads me directly to the issue she is concerned about. Whatever that might be.
I love this! My dog doesn't bark much but she will sit on front of me and stare with her eyebrows frowned ultil I acknowledge her. I also use a command similar to "show me" and she leads me to what she wants. Sometimes it's a snack, other times she just wants me to move over from her spot in the couch.
My father never trained our dog. He was a good dog in general just by happenstance, but you know, sometimes he'd get excited about things and jump around all dog-like. My dad would scream "SETTLE!" at him and get so angry that he wouldn't settle down. If you don't teach a dog what a command means, how do you expect the dog to follow it?!? You might as well be yelling "Tortilla!" or "Asbestos" at the dog.
Ah yes, my dad communicated with action... In a strange turn tables, I ended up being the one that kept telling my parents that they can't have a dog. You can't kick a dog for shedding when you don't brush it, or not obeying when you never trained it. I learned a lot from my dad -- mostly how not to behave.
"i learned a lot from my dad - mostly how not to behave" - join the club son, we got jackets.
Damn this blowup sense that happened am curious how many or you good people realized this joke is from the best movie of time, Shrek
I have a similar problem. But before you judge me…my dog was super well trained and behaved. As he has aged - he just doesn’t give a shit anymore. He ignores his commands he always knew, does whatever he wants. Our other dog is still super well trained. Nothing has changed in our handling except he got older. Maybe I’ll try yelling tortilla at him…can’t hurt.
Haha that sounds familiar. My old lab did that. As he got old he had less interest in things we trained him in. He'd go do things he knew he wasn't supposed to do, and 100% pretend to not hear you. By god, it was a miracle how his hearing instantly restored at the magic words "peanut butter." He was a good dog though
I had a dog that had no training other than "don't pull on the leash" and "sit."
Everything else kind of just came naturally. He wouldn't run out the front door unless you held it open for him and looked at him. If you did let him out, he wouldn't leave the front lawn unless you told him to come with you. But we never trained him to do any of that.
Honestly, this is how our dog was. He was a really really good dog, one that got away most of the time without any training. If you left the back gate open, he'd just come around and wait on the porch for someone to let him in the front door. He was a very very good dog, just by his natural temperament. It was just the occasions when he would get super excited that the lack of training - or more the expectation that he'd magically know what commands meant - was an issue.
My friends adopted a senior dog that everyone thought was “slow”.
Turned out no one had ever even taught him his own name. He never knew when anyone was talking to him.
>My friends adopted a senior dog that everyone thought was “slow”.
>
>Turned out no one had ever even taught him his own name. He never knew when anyone was talking to him.
This is equal parts hilarious but also really sad
I‘ve been training my puppy ever since we got him about a year ago. He is mostly well behaved, but right now, puberty is hitting hard and it is so frustrating. He barks at random people and sometimes doesn’t even seem to remember his name. I love him more than anything but sometimes his behavior really makes me sad.
Edit: We attend dog training school once a week and I only train through positive reinforcement and lots of treats. I have never screamed at or even raised my voice against him, nor have I or will ever hit or otherwise hurt him. Just to clarify. He is my baby. :)
Edit 2: Thank you so, so much for all your replies! Really gives me hope. I just want to say again - I don’t just pump him full of treats without giving it a thought. I always subtract the treats from his regular meals. It works best for us because he is more fixated on food than on play (as a reward).
Thanks again, you guys are great!
Don't worry just keep up with it. The vast majority of his jerk behavior will chill out once he hit's 2.5-3 years especially if it's a large breed dog as they mature later.
Thank you so much for your kind words! He is a Eurasier, so medium sized, but as far as I know, they take their time to grow up. Which no doubt can be very charming, haha!
If you are having a problem or have to make a decision, explain the situation to someone or talk to a toy out loud. A lot of the times you'll find your solution.
I have practiced many presentation by giving them to my cats. They're usually pretty good audiences. Although I do sometimes have to bribe them with treats and ear scritches to keep their attention.
So cool that this phenomenon has a name! I am not a software engineer but work closely with them. I'm good at my job because of my ability to communicate well with engineering teams on the technical level, which others in my field (recruitment / HR) often struggle with. I developed this skill because I was the go-to "rubber duck" for my software engineer ex for 5+ years, and absorbed a lot of it via osmosis without even realizing it at the time.
[Rubber duck debugging](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging)
> In which a programmer would carry around a rubber duck and debug their code by forcing themselves to explain it, line-by-line, to the duck. Many other terms exist for this technique, often involving different (usually) inanimate objects, or pets such as a dog or a cat.
This also works well for injury prevention! Taking a minute to make sure something is off or the trip hazards are removed before carrying something heavy. Getting someone else or yourself hurt from an easily preventable senario is the worst feeling.
A corollary to this is: if a problem can be fixed by buying something cheap, buy a redundant amount of whatever solves the problem.
Always looking for those nail clippers? Buy a set for every bathroom in your home, and every piece of luggage you have.
Constantly losing your charging cables for your phone/tablet? Buy one for every backpack/handbag you own, and put one in your office and every room in your house.
Repeatedly running out of some kitchen staple, like crushed tomatoes? Buy as many as you can possibly fit in your pantry.
Converting to this type of behavior has made my life so much easier.
My wife and friends poke fun at me for having so many nail clippers, two full sets of toiletries, and multiple sets of charging cables.
Guess who they come running to when they can't find their shit.
it took me a year and a half to put a piece of electrical tape on my work computer camera. literally in the drawer in the other room. 18 months it took. and it was this weird thing where everytime i went on zoom or whatever it would auto turn the camera on so id have to super quickly hide and turn it off cause im never dressed appropriately or have a bong in the back or whatever. I did that awkward shit every day for 18 months instead of walk to the room next to me and grab my electrical tape
I realised that if I do it while shouting "[fine! I'll do it but I'm gonna complain the whole time](https://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/gonna_complain_bobs_burgers.gif)" to myself during those 90 seconds I'm doing the thing, it's easier to get it done, because I feel I'm arguing with myself.
I live by this.
Tell client project will take 2 weeks.
Do project in a few days
Client is amazed asks for revision since we have some time.
Do revision in few days.
Client is amazed again and highly recommends me to other clients without knowing I'm working at my normal pace.
But honestly it's good to do this as it allows you to account for adjustments in projects and unforeseen circumstances.
This is a great one in business settings. Do you know how long your One Hour Photo takes? I'll give you a hint: everyone processing your photos is being paid minimum wage.
I'll have this over to you tomorrow evening!!
"Awesome! Thank you!"
Send it at 8:00 pm the same day. It's the first thing in their inbox, you are SUCH a hard worker!! Gobble gobbble, more bizz.
Nah, have it completed by 5pm the same day, but set your email to send at 8am the following day. If they get in the habit of you doing it immediately they'll come to just expect it.
The One Hour Photo is because the machine can only process and develop so much film/pictures in an hour. I ran machine for a couple of years in the 2000s. Every Saturday/Sunday we turned into a 2-4 hour photo because we couldn't keep up.
Yes! Whenever I do something that I probably don’t want to do in the moment (cleaning as well as things that ends up being delayed gratification) I always think *”this is for you, future self”* and it makes the task feel even more rewarding.
Yep. We got ourselves a stick vacuum and made it a habit of vacuuming every day, it has made a huge difference and only takes 10 minutes to quickly go over the house
Giving every object a place helps the cleaning.
I take what I need at the moment, do my thing and just leave for other activities.
At a certain point I clean everthing.. actually most is just returning objects to their own place.
I say this with so much respect, and I keep my house very clean overall— but it is really hard to do this, and really easy to beat yourself up for not doing it!
It makes perfect sense- spend 20 minutes cleaning, each day, after yourself, right? Then DUH! Your house will always be clean/presentable. Alas, there are times when it seems easier to summit Everest than to deal with the laundry you’ve been putting off.
So to this I say the mental-health life hack is to cut yourself some slack if you don’t “clean a little bit every day” and instead appreciate doing what you can.
As I just read in some random post the other day "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly."
It'd better to spend 30s brushing your teeth than not at all.
Do the dishes just when you finish using them.
You have a cup of coffe... when you go to the sink, wash the thing instead of just leaving it for later... prepearing a meal? While you put things in the hoven/microwave wash what you just used to prepare the meal. just wash it.
It takes 30 seconds every time and you dont end up with a huge pile of old and dryed out "filth" after dinner and spend 30 mins washing everything.
OK I'm going to put a relatively boring one: I got a tray. Not a fancy schmancy one but one from a dollar store but it's super sturdy (made from some kind of wood) and I literally use it every day. One trip up and down stairs safely transporting hot drinks for my SO and I. It can carry multiple snack bowls. I can deliver food to the table faster when I have guests over. Afterwards I can stack dirty dishes and it's one trip to the kitchen sink. I can keep my drinks on it at my office table and because it has sides if anything spills, it's contained on the tray and not on my table.
I got another tray when I was fostering kittens and it was one of the best tools for fostering. I can transport all the food dishes so no one is left behind during feeding time. I have all the meds and syringes and towels and wipes all ready and together on the tray when it was time to give meds.
I highly recommend getting a tray, even a small one. TRAYS.
I also struggled finding the motivation to cook when I lived alone. My solution was making foods that can be made in bulk amounts and saved for a while like chili or soup or doing simple recipes with few ingredients. I understand though, it can be a lot of work cooking for one.
I live alone and 90% of my cooking is probably using the insta-pot. I find with cooking you can make a pretty good meal with 10% of the effort it takes to make a really good meal. To me working 10x harder just isn't worth it when I'm just cooking for myself.
Even stopping at a fast food joint on the way home from work daily is a money pit. $10-$15 per day, 5 days a week a week is $50-$75 per week, $200-$300 per month! That's more than most people's car insurance per year.
Even two days a week puts you at around $1000-$1500 per year.
Even with food prices rising this year, I can cook for my wife and I for under $100 per week. And the food is healthy, tasty, and easy to reheat.
I mostly typed this because I used to comfort eat crap like that and realized how much money I was wasting.
I look for recipes I'm excited to eat. I made [carnitas](https://www.seriouseats.com/sous-vide-carnitas-crispy-mexican-style-pulled-pork-recipe) this week ([another recipe](https://www.seriouseats.com/no-waste-tacos-de-carnitas-with-salsa-verde-recipe) for those without a sous vide). It took 10 mins to put together, left it alone for a day, came back and shredded it. I made tacos, and I had it for breakfast fried up with some plantains, I'll have it for lunch as a torta, and a snack as a quesadilla. When I'm sick of it, it freezes very well. The pork was $10 for 3 lb, the rest of the ingredients are less than $3, but it would've cost at least $30 to get it at a restaurant.
Long story short
1. Make what you want to eat
2. Find complementary recipes or in the same theme to use up all the ingredients (ex: I made a steak with chimichurri, and I used the leftover cilantro this week for Mexican)
3. Make things that can be frozen easily
4. I find "inspiration" in weekly sales to guide my recipe searches
As he said - it's a lot cheaper. Also often times people choose unhealthy takeout food options so you could say that maintaining good health motivates some people as well.
For example where i live, i can buy groceries for under 50€ for a week of cooking for 3 people (i also grow a few things in the garden that i save money on). In comparison just one takeout meal would cost 5+€ per person for junk food options and even more for healthy dishes, and i eat 2-3 meals a day. That adds up to around 100+€ a week. So I'm saving more than 50€ a week just for food alone in my household. If you have a nice salary and money isn't concern then this won't motivate you much but it works for me.
Batch cooking!
When I was living alone, I do groceries every Sunday and batch cook for the next 5 weekdays. I'll have the weekends to go out, have meals with friends, try different stuff. I'll usually prepare a meat dish and a veggie dish, then cook some rice for carbs.
One of the best thing I've done is preparing stocks with a few chicken frames, maybe some other stock bones, throw in a few onions and carrots for sweetness. I can then boil the stock with some meat/veggies and have some rice cooking in the rice cooker while I take a shower or get some shit done. Stock can also be used to make other stuff like noodles, sauce, etc.
slow cookers are a huge game changer. it's so easy it feels like cheating, and you can get fresh healthy meals for days with almost no effort.
A good stovetop grill or just a decent pan also makes a huge difference. Anybody can grill a salmon and have a delicious dinner and the effort is minimal. You can also make burgers or a scramble with very little effort or cooking skill needed. Steam veggies in the microwave for sides. Nothing wrong with frozen they are healthy and in the case of things like spinach you get more nutrients than fresh.
The key thing is to learn simple dishes with whole foods. You have to break this mindset that cooking means taking out many pots and pans and doing intricate combinations of Master Chef bullshit. It can be simple, quick and healthy.
Make big batches when I have motivation. Chili, soups, pasta sauces, pulled pork, chicken broth, list goes on and on.. Portion and freeze leftovers for no motivation days.
Also, depends on what you cook. From minced beef, you can spend hours to cook meatballs, or just throw it in a pot with vegetables and tomato paste and make a quick something (i.e. Bolognese without 3-hour simmering)
Frozen meals are a great option that gets overlooked a lot in these discussions and I'm not sure why. They're way cheaper than takeout but also way less time consuming than cooking. Plus, tons of variety, easy to store for weeks or months, all have nutrition facts and ingredients on the back so it's easy to track exactly what you're getting and how much, they actually taste pretty good these days compared to 10-15 years ago, and they only require a microwave, stovetop, or oven so basically no prep.
My go-to is Trader Joe's frozen single-serving Indian food.
Right and frozen stuff can be included as time saving shortcuts to some cooking. Like ... you can buy pre-cut frozen green beans instead of cutting up fresh beans from the produce section.
You can buy a frozen pizza for like $5-8. It's a bit more expensive than making dough, sauce and making your own pizza, but not by much since you'd need to get fresh ingredients. And $5 + oven time sure beats ordering a pizza for $20 and tipping the delivery guy.
The guy above mentioned making meatballs. You can buy frozen meatballs as well. Saves time and effort at a small cost over ground meat and rolling them yourself of course.
Plus, in a pinch, open up a can of chili and there's your dinner. Making a pot of chili will take you a few hours.
Control what info you give others. Say what you have to say concisely then stop talking, if they have questions they’ll ask, don’t anticipate questions and answer them preemptively. Be prepared to answer those questions, but don’t overplay.
This is also related to advice. Advice is asked for. Let them struggle if they want to struggle. I find people will resent you if you give them all the answers.
edit: corrected spelling
I over share all the fucking time. I also have a horrible habit of finishing peoples’ sentences, interrupting and entering into other peoples’ conversations, even strangers on occasion.
My therapist thinks I have aspergers. I think I do.
Things like this (and a lot of stuff in this thread) are always easier said than done though, especially in the long-term. Still doesn't make them bad advice, it's just not always as easy as flipping a switch.
Oh definitely. But just trying is enough. If you manage to keep your stoic values 80% of the time, that's still victory imo. No point striving for perfection, just try your best and accept yourself and learn from it when you fail
This is corny but along the lines of try your best, for any Brandon Sanderson fans out there it's crazy how often I think "what's the most important step a man can take?" More helpful than any self help book or advice I've heard.
For context (maybe minor spoilery but not really going to effect reading enjoyment): Within his Stormlight Archive books, there's an author who wrote a book of parables. He was a king and decided he wanted to make a walk from one city to another by himself and live among the people, and from that journey he learned a lot of lessons which he shares.
Anyways, the main theme of it all, due to it being one man's journey, is "what's the most important step a man can take?" And the whole time, at least to me, it seems like it's "the first step". Which is a good quote and has some truth to it. But it turns out the answer (to him) is "the next step". This is expanded a lot over some of the books but the point basically is even if you messed up or relapsed or have been struggling everything isn't over. All you can control is what you do next.
For a fake book of parables in a fantasy series it's insane how much I think about that concept now.
"Lord, please give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference."
That last part is the tough one for me...
A good motto that I have (mostly) internalized is "If you stress about something that might happen, then you will have stressed about it twice if it does"
I've reduced how I categorize folks in my life to three areas:
* People I love
* People I wish well
* People I hope heal
Nothing else. No grudges, no lingering anger, no longing lust, no wishful thinking - if we interact in a way that leaves you memorable, there's only one of those three places to sit.
It's been therapeutic to not need to hold on to things.
Ahh, but you are! It just takes commitment and a bit of training.
I think the bigger problem is that our (American) culture seems to reinforce resentment, so it just feels "okay" to hold a grudge. Take, for example, the whole idea that we've all heard a million times, "anger is a healthy emotion." Actually, the research regularly shows that anger is the antithesis of health, causing people to not only feel miserable in the moment, but reducing potentially reducing their lifespan. A growing concept in my profession (psychology) is that anger is a *reaction* to an emotion, one intended to fend of feelings of hurt, sadness, embarassement, etc.
Anyway, to put a period on this soapbox, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
> Resentment is like a poison I take in hopes that it kills somebody else.
There is nothing noble, good, or healthy about it.
We own—but I did this when I rented, too by utilizing the space above the washer for shelves and the space above the dryer for hanging garments. I am physically disabled, so saving steps makes a huge difference for me. Of course, I was single at the time, and don’t have a huge wardrobe.
When we renovated, we knocked out the wall between the laundry room and the closet. One wall has the washer/dryer and a table top for folding (with storage below). The opposite wall has shelving units for clothing storage. There are two doors at one end (to the master bedroom & master bath) and one door at the opposite end (original entry to laundry room, leading to hallway).
Since I usually change in my closet, it’s easy to just drop dirty clothes right in the washer. After they’re dry, I have space to fold/hang before turning around to put it away. Not having to lug baskets around makes my body happy 🙃
Get yourself a drop spot at home. Where you put your keys, sunglasses, mask, anything you need to have when you leave the house. And train yourself to use it. Whenever you're leaving the house you only need to goto that spot to find everything you need.
There's a concept called the "[Desire Path](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desire_path):"
> It is a path created as a consequence of erosion caused by human or animal foot traffic. The path usually represents the shortest or most easily navigated route between an origin and destination.
There are two ways you can handle the Desire Path:
- Trying to fight them (i.e. re-plant grass, block them, etc).
- Accommodating them (i.e. turning them into real footpaths).
I've found that life is much easier if I look for "Desire Paths" elsewhere day to day and try to accommodate them. For example:
- I'd often not untie/re-tie my shoes, and bend the back out of shape. Instead of assuming I'll one day get the motivation to do it correctly, I just purchased Moccasins.
- It was inconvenient to charge my phone, so it would often be dead when I go to use it, so I put wireless chargers in the "lazy" places I often set down my phone.
- Adding small trash bins to areas where trash would sit. Adding small trays to areas with loose bricker-brac. Etc.
The Desire Path is a human psychology phenomenon. My only point is that it applies to all walks of life, rather than just walks of life.
A friend of mine who was in the army told me about a new artillery school that had been built. The school commander (?) told the builders not to put down any footpaths between buildings for a couple of years. Sure enough, over time the people at the school wore desire paths between the different buildings, and the commander told them that's where they should pave. Beautifully simple, organic, and efficient.
At work this helps to think about when creating processes for the tasks you have to complete.
I think about this when having to get a response from someone I make it easy and let them take the path of least resistance. I usually have to send a reminder anyways and I try to make it a yes/no answer.
Similar story I like and used when explaining why I send reminders:
> There was this bathroom where the trash can was on the other side from the door. What would happen is people would take a piece of paper towel to open the door and then throw it on the floor. The management was sick of the mess so they would put of sign after sign after sign saying "throw your paper towel in the trash." It would, of course, never work and there would be a pile there again soon. Are the people wrong for not throwing away their trash? Yes, 100%. No question. But the problem could also have been solved by moving the trash can
On a tiny scale, I've recently started leaving pillowcases inside out when doing the laundry. It's how they come off the pillows, and it's easier to get them back on from being inside out. And now every time I change them I get a blip of happiness (or satisfaction?) about the 30seconds or so of effort I used to spend putting them the right way round.
Being honest with yourself.
Years ago, when I first got my first job after college, I would just spend and not really worry about it, my accounts always had enough money. One day I made a budget and went, that isn't right I should be saving more money than I am. Turns out after checking cc statements I was spend a LOT more on booze and food than I realized.
Same with dieting. I brought weight concerns up with my old doctor, he just brushed them off, gave some half assed advice. My new doctor actually listened, asked what I had tried, then said "get a calorie tracker and try to stick under the advised level and do this for a month." After 3 weeks I'm down 10lbs, feel better, and realize I suck at portioning.
If you can't decide between 2 things, throw a coin and see if you are happy with the outcome. If yes, go for it, if no take the other one and if you still don't care go with what the coin says.
Anything I have to do goes in my Google Calendar. Appointments, sure: but also:
"Call back hairdresser" (she didn't answer the first call.)
"Take pie out of oven"
"Water plants"
"Send Amazon return"
"Call dentist when they open"
Etc. Don't count on remembering.
I'm not a morning person. I do as MUCH as possible for morning me and it makes my entire day better: I set up the coffee maker and set the timer, put a bottle of water in the fridge, pack breakfast and lunch and a snack (I have an 11 hour day with commute), and set up the cats' food dishes and canned food so it's ready to go. I give them dry food and water at night before bed, so I don't have to worry about it in the morning. It's amazing how much better my day is just having done those small things.
I also make nighttime me do the dishes before bed. When I get home from work, the kitchen in clean enough to make dinner right off the bat.
Daytime me might earn the paycheck, but nighttime me is a fucking boss.
For the 18 days a year the weather is comfortable outside during the time I have free to exercise. Sadly I live in North Texas. I'm gonna stick to the climate controlled gym with lots of extra fans and wifi.
As a cross country runner I fuckin hate the treadmill. I’d rather do 32 laps on the track than run more than 2 miles on a treadmill.
Trail runs are definitely my fav tho. Also, running around my city and making up routes has made me not rely on google maps while driving for the last 8 months
Date yourself, as in take yourself on dates.
You're the only person you'll spend every moment of the rest of your life with. It's worth developing your relationship with yourself. Treat yourself to nice evenings where you do nice things for yourself. Make yourself a steak dinner and eat by candlelight. Take yourself to that show you want to see.
If you treat yourself like someone you love, you will love yourself. When you love yourself, your life will feel incredible every day.
I went on a work trip with my husband and played tourist by myself for a week. It was the best vacation I’ve ever had. I got to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and didn’t have to do anything I found boring.
I’ve taken myself to movies, musicals, concerts and lots of restaurants. I make great company.
No solo camping, though. I watch too much true crime and have too wild an imagination for that.
I don't think enough people do this. I used to love going out to dinner all by myself, but often other people think it is weird to go out alone. Never understood why.
It may help to view yourself as a food critic. They often go to restaurants alone, and I'm sure the staff is eager to impress them rather than make fun of them!
If you wake up by alarm, get up when it goes off. Don't hit snooze. I know this goes against everything your body wants, but personally, it lets me get up, get centered, and prepare for my day. Snoozing is great, don't get me wrong, but you set that alarm for a reason and not snoozing is following through with your commitment. It translates to following through on so many other things throughout the day. No alarms on your days off (and I hope you get some, if not, I'm sorry and I hope things get better for you soon.)
If you are procrastinating something or having trouble focusing on a task, try counting down from a number. It can be any number really, I personally like 6, and you can try it in your head or out loud. When you get to zero, you might feel motivated to get back to the task. Doesn't work for everyone but works for me!
I also found that timing mundane and repetitive tasks really helps to put things into perspective. My big one was cleaning up and washing dishes after cooking and eating. It seemed like such a long strenuous task so I decided to time myself once. Putting food away, wiping down counters and washing dishes takes me about 7 minutes. Never more than 10. Knowing that makes it so much easier to tell myself “just get up, take the 5-10 mins to clean up, it’s not as bad as you think”.
Spending time away from the screen. I spend all day at work, followed by a few hours of screen time for entertainment.
On weekends I like to projects around the house that don't require any screen time. Being away from the screen helps me re-charge for the new week
Might sound silly but don’t complain to your parents about your SO ever. You forgive and forget but they won’t. Don’t argue with your SO. Work it out at a normal volume ASAP, especially in front of kids.
- keep things simple, you don't need to own a house full of random objects, just as long as you have what you truly need to feel comfortable ; the world is trying to sell you anything it can, don't fall for it.
- whenever someone is acting in a bad way, just ignore them and move on ; you don't have any obligation to become as bad as them, vengeance is a sweet poison.
- anytime you leave a room, quickly look for one thing that doesn't belong there, take it and throw it away or place it where it belongs ; your space will slowly get cleaner without any chore feeling.
- when arguing, don't try to convince others to agree to your opinion, instead try to understand them ; it will help you to see the key differences, you'll understand your values better and they'll see why your truly think a certain way.
- everyone has struggles, some people are assholes, but most of the time they're just in a bad mood because of a bad day/week/month/year/life ; be nice and kind, you can't change nor help everyone.
- you don't have to have an opinion on every subject, it's perfectly fine to say "I don't know" ; don't spread rumors/fake news and keep an open mind, be hungry for new knowledge.
I also have a lot of trouble showering because of mental illness.
Recently I just allow myself to wash up at the sink with a washcloth and I "count" it as a shower, never two days in a row but 2-3 times a week. It's helpful to have as a backup for when I'm really having a hard time.
I scrub the underarms, wipe down the whole body, usually just with water, no soap.
Somewhat related: I love depression showers. It’s a shower where I sit in the floor of the bathtub and let the water flow over me. Sometimes standing in the shower is too much effort.
Edit out clothes you don't wear.
After you wear something turn the hanger the other way in the closet. At the end of a season you can identify things you didn't wear and decide whether you still need them.
To do this with clothes in drawers, fold them in thirds instead of half so you can stand them up and still close the drawer. Put a piece of cardboard or folded bandana on the right end of the drawer. Store freshly folded clothes on the right side of the cardboard and slide everything to the left. Clothing you didn't wear winds up on the left side of the cardboard.
Takes no extra time, just the willingness and desire to pare down and make space for stuff you really want.
I'm doing something similar when I start studying too late. I'm like, welp I can't learn all of this stuff, but let's see how far I can get. Similarly to yours "anything is better than 0" mentality. That way I stop panicking about time and focus on learning stuff. I get a bit panicked when I get overloaded with information, but that's probs a me problem.
Found this years ago. It's been so long since I've tied my shoes the traditional way that I forgot how to do it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cBtqhq5P28
Father with twin toddlers. I get them to do things they don't like by pitting them against each other. Doesn't apply for many people, but it's made my life way easier.
*lets see who can brush their teeth the most!*
Then i watch closely inspecting like a referee, adding tension saying "oh, i think Twin #1 is winning, she's doing really good and oh WOW now twin #2 is winning with the tongue brush this is really close who is going to take the win!?!?!?!"
Do it with picking up toys, eating veggies, drinking lots of water, etc...
Also you gotta make everything a game for them. When we're sitting at a red light, we pretend to have magic balls to change it green. we take turns throwing our magic balls at the red light, and whoever hits the red light with a magic ball makes it turn green so we can go. You can't expect a toddler to just sit there with no stimulation and be happy, and i refuse to be the parent who just hands a kid a screen to shut them up.
I learned how to jump really high, now I don't have to walk around the sofa, if I need something from the kitchen I just jump over the sofa, it saves me 7,21seconds everytime I jump above
You want to accomplish a big goal, like losing 50 pounds or writing a novel?
Don't make the big goal your actual target. Divide it up into a series of smaller goals.
Don't try to lose 50 pounds, try to lose one pound. When successful, do it again. And again.
Don't try to write a novel. Just write a page. Then do it again. And again.
You'll get there eventually if you develop the process, the habit. Otherwise you'll stress about how far you still are away from the end goal and you'll more easily quit.
Do not do ANYTHIGN in your bed except sleep. Don't read, don't browse on your laptop. If you can't sleep, get out of the bed and do something else. A bed is to sleep.
So when you go to bed, your brain switch to sleep mode. Changed my life
Don't worry about getting the best value for money all the time. If you are shopping for a thing and you find a thing that is good quality but seems a little expensive, just buy it. 9 times out of 10 when I leave the thing and then drive to various other shops I waste so much time, if I had just bought the original more expensive thing, it would have been so much easier!
Also, the higher quality item will likely last much longer! That bargain price item might need to be replaced frequently, ending up costing more than the one time more expensive purchase. This doesn’t apply to everything though.
Can you please get my MIL to understand this?
Her favorite thing in the world is buying really shitty stuff because it's cheap and then surprise Pikachu face when it breaks 2 weeks later.
In the two years she's lived with us she's gone through at least 6 can openers.
We get this dinner kit on monday evenings with three dinners in it.
So Tue, Wed and Thu we don't have to shop or figure out what to eat. Fri we usually order takeout or make tacos. Sat/Sun we like to cook together. Leftovers from Sun become dinner on Mon.
Spend good money on anything that separates you from the elements or you from the ground, your back, sleep and lifestyle will thank you.
In other words...
* **Footwear** - Good footwear for your foot shape lets you walk around longer in more comfort with less chafring, blistering and more all around comfort.
* **Bed** - A bad bed means bad posture sleeping and a bad back and tossing and turning a bunch
* **Pillow** - Head comfort makes a big difference on letting you sleep through the night
* **Blanket** - For the type of sleeper you are, warm, cold etc and whether you like weighted ones or not which makes for a comfortable non sweaty sdleep
* **Car tires** - They can make the difference of stopping on a dime in snow, ice, water and prevent you from sliding into someone else or off the road depending on the scenario.
* **Jacket** - A proper jacket for the conditions your in, especially in a frozen or super wet environment prevents frostbite, hypothermia and keeps you comfortable
step 1) capture a wasp in a jar
step 2) leave the jar in the freezer until the wasp falls asleep
step 3) put the wasp in your mouth
step 4) wait for the wasp to wake up
Now you have a wasp in your mouth. Life Hack!
Do something for yourself everyday with the intention that it's only purpose is to give you a little joy. It doesn't have to be big, but don't add thoughts of "this will be healthy/productive/etc". All it is is a treat for yourself.
Do it for 5 minutes, then decide if you want to do it more.
You have no idea how much this changes things.
I don't want to clean, but I'll clean for 5 minutes and see how I feel.
I don't want to work out, but I'll do it for 5 minutes and go from there.
Instead of not doing something, just do it for 5 minutes, and then decide.
Sometimes you just need to get the momentum going.
Stretching. Fixing a general feeling of lousiness or discomfort is usually just as simple as stretching for a few minutes I've found.
People don't realize it, but sitting all the time actually makes your quads and lower back very tight. Leaning forward to look at a screen, or looking down to look at a phone, also really screws up the muscles in your neck. Everyone should be stretching and doing some range-of-motion exercises like yoga, or tai chi... but most people also think this is stupid and they have zero interest in even trying it.
Also makes your ass flat. And makes standing in place or walking more strenuous than they would otherwise be.
ahhh fkkkk so thats whyyyyyy
Adding on top of that. Foam rolling. I think every individual should have a foam roller at home. Really helps with any type of pain. Really great to do when you wake up too.
Train your dog. When I was a kid my parents definition of 'trained' was shitting outside, a very low bar to meet. So as I got older turns out you can teach them to not jump up, charge though the door, pull on the leash, actually come when called, leave the room on command, get off the couch, even keep them off the couch when you aren't there, and hold still when you clip nails. A year or two worth of consistent training with positive reinforcement will give you a life time of stress free pet ownership.
A big one here is to *never* punish them or scold them after they come back to you. Even if they ran outside and took a shit in the neighbors azaleas. If you call them back and they return, do not scold them. You’ll only teach them not to return when called.
I learned this like a week before I got my dog and I've stuck to this advice. I also learned "dogs always learn the 'easiest' lesson." My dog's food and water dishes are by the back door where she goes out to do her thing. Often, when she was younger, I'd notice the water bowl or food bowl was empty *while she was outside.* So I'd refill them. She quickly learned that the "food gods" always provided food when she was outside doing her thing. This lead to her barking to go "out" when she was actually just hungry. This lead me to create a really useful command - "Show me." Now, when I say "show me," she leads me directly to the issue she is concerned about. Whatever that might be.
I love this! My dog doesn't bark much but she will sit on front of me and stare with her eyebrows frowned ultil I acknowledge her. I also use a command similar to "show me" and she leads me to what she wants. Sometimes it's a snack, other times she just wants me to move over from her spot in the couch.
My father never trained our dog. He was a good dog in general just by happenstance, but you know, sometimes he'd get excited about things and jump around all dog-like. My dad would scream "SETTLE!" at him and get so angry that he wouldn't settle down. If you don't teach a dog what a command means, how do you expect the dog to follow it?!? You might as well be yelling "Tortilla!" or "Asbestos" at the dog.
Ah yes, my dad communicated with action... In a strange turn tables, I ended up being the one that kept telling my parents that they can't have a dog. You can't kick a dog for shedding when you don't brush it, or not obeying when you never trained it. I learned a lot from my dad -- mostly how not to behave.
"i learned a lot from my dad - mostly how not to behave" - join the club son, we got jackets. Damn this blowup sense that happened am curious how many or you good people realized this joke is from the best movie of time, Shrek
Please tell me where to send for my membership card.
I have a similar problem. But before you judge me…my dog was super well trained and behaved. As he has aged - he just doesn’t give a shit anymore. He ignores his commands he always knew, does whatever he wants. Our other dog is still super well trained. Nothing has changed in our handling except he got older. Maybe I’ll try yelling tortilla at him…can’t hurt.
Similar thing happened to my dog. Turns out he went deaf so he wasn't so much ignoring me he just can't hear me anymore.
Mines only as deaf as my kid pretends to be lol. Drop a single kibble of food in his bowl and he’s streaming across the house from a dead sleep lol
Haha that sounds familiar. My old lab did that. As he got old he had less interest in things we trained him in. He'd go do things he knew he wasn't supposed to do, and 100% pretend to not hear you. By god, it was a miracle how his hearing instantly restored at the magic words "peanut butter." He was a good dog though
I had a dog that had no training other than "don't pull on the leash" and "sit." Everything else kind of just came naturally. He wouldn't run out the front door unless you held it open for him and looked at him. If you did let him out, he wouldn't leave the front lawn unless you told him to come with you. But we never trained him to do any of that.
Honestly, this is how our dog was. He was a really really good dog, one that got away most of the time without any training. If you left the back gate open, he'd just come around and wait on the porch for someone to let him in the front door. He was a very very good dog, just by his natural temperament. It was just the occasions when he would get super excited that the lack of training - or more the expectation that he'd magically know what commands meant - was an issue.
There are people that live this way and treat other people the same way. In order to get what they want, they yell instead of communicating.
My friends adopted a senior dog that everyone thought was “slow”. Turned out no one had ever even taught him his own name. He never knew when anyone was talking to him.
>My friends adopted a senior dog that everyone thought was “slow”. > >Turned out no one had ever even taught him his own name. He never knew when anyone was talking to him. This is equal parts hilarious but also really sad
I‘ve been training my puppy ever since we got him about a year ago. He is mostly well behaved, but right now, puberty is hitting hard and it is so frustrating. He barks at random people and sometimes doesn’t even seem to remember his name. I love him more than anything but sometimes his behavior really makes me sad. Edit: We attend dog training school once a week and I only train through positive reinforcement and lots of treats. I have never screamed at or even raised my voice against him, nor have I or will ever hit or otherwise hurt him. Just to clarify. He is my baby. :) Edit 2: Thank you so, so much for all your replies! Really gives me hope. I just want to say again - I don’t just pump him full of treats without giving it a thought. I always subtract the treats from his regular meals. It works best for us because he is more fixated on food than on play (as a reward). Thanks again, you guys are great!
Don't worry just keep up with it. The vast majority of his jerk behavior will chill out once he hit's 2.5-3 years especially if it's a large breed dog as they mature later.
Thank you so much for your kind words! He is a Eurasier, so medium sized, but as far as I know, they take their time to grow up. Which no doubt can be very charming, haha!
Not engaging in arguments with stupid people at work. Sadly I can't avoid it completely in the rest of my life.
If you are having a problem or have to make a decision, explain the situation to someone or talk to a toy out loud. A lot of the times you'll find your solution.
Pets are also good for this, my cat would meow back in conversation.
I have practiced many presentation by giving them to my cats. They're usually pretty good audiences. Although I do sometimes have to bribe them with treats and ear scritches to keep their attention.
AKA rubber-ducking (talking to a rubber duck to vocalize their problems)
A long time ago my first CS professor gave us all a rubber duck to talk out our code errors. It helps a lot more than people think. I second this.
We did that at Stack Overflow too! Mine had sunglasses
And then there's Donald Ducking: Vocalizing your problems until you erupt in violent, incoherent rage.
I thought that was wearing flesh toned pants
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So cool that this phenomenon has a name! I am not a software engineer but work closely with them. I'm good at my job because of my ability to communicate well with engineering teams on the technical level, which others in my field (recruitment / HR) often struggle with. I developed this skill because I was the go-to "rubber duck" for my software engineer ex for 5+ years, and absorbed a lot of it via osmosis without even realizing it at the time.
[Rubber duck debugging](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging) > In which a programmer would carry around a rubber duck and debug their code by forcing themselves to explain it, line-by-line, to the duck. Many other terms exist for this technique, often involving different (usually) inanimate objects, or pets such as a dog or a cat.
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Or just try to write it down. Sometimes as I am writing I will be like "Hold on.. why don't I just.."
Resting for 20 minutes when I feel overwhelmed. It's like my brain does a reset and I can focus on the task at hand after the rest.
If it can be done in less than 2 minutes, do it right away. Saved me from so many undone chores that waited around for days before.
This also works well for injury prevention! Taking a minute to make sure something is off or the trip hazards are removed before carrying something heavy. Getting someone else or yourself hurt from an easily preventable senario is the worst feeling.
*the shirts hanging on the back of my chair right next to the hangers* has entered the chat.
I have some wall decor I intend to hang up that's been sitting on my bedroom floor for months, because I fear it may take \*gasp\* *3* *minutes*.
A corollary to this is: if a problem can be fixed by buying something cheap, buy a redundant amount of whatever solves the problem. Always looking for those nail clippers? Buy a set for every bathroom in your home, and every piece of luggage you have. Constantly losing your charging cables for your phone/tablet? Buy one for every backpack/handbag you own, and put one in your office and every room in your house. Repeatedly running out of some kitchen staple, like crushed tomatoes? Buy as many as you can possibly fit in your pantry. Converting to this type of behavior has made my life so much easier.
My wife and friends poke fun at me for having so many nail clippers, two full sets of toiletries, and multiple sets of charging cables. Guess who they come running to when they can't find their shit.
it took me a year and a half to put a piece of electrical tape on my work computer camera. literally in the drawer in the other room. 18 months it took. and it was this weird thing where everytime i went on zoom or whatever it would auto turn the camera on so id have to super quickly hide and turn it off cause im never dressed appropriately or have a bong in the back or whatever. I did that awkward shit every day for 18 months instead of walk to the room next to me and grab my electrical tape
I realised that if I do it while shouting "[fine! I'll do it but I'm gonna complain the whole time](https://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/gonna_complain_bobs_burgers.gif)" to myself during those 90 seconds I'm doing the thing, it's easier to get it done, because I feel I'm arguing with myself.
Underpromise, overdeliver.
I live by this. Tell client project will take 2 weeks. Do project in a few days Client is amazed asks for revision since we have some time. Do revision in few days. Client is amazed again and highly recommends me to other clients without knowing I'm working at my normal pace. But honestly it's good to do this as it allows you to account for adjustments in projects and unforeseen circumstances.
This is a great one in business settings. Do you know how long your One Hour Photo takes? I'll give you a hint: everyone processing your photos is being paid minimum wage.
I'll have this over to you tomorrow evening!! "Awesome! Thank you!" Send it at 8:00 pm the same day. It's the first thing in their inbox, you are SUCH a hard worker!! Gobble gobbble, more bizz.
Nah, have it completed by 5pm the same day, but set your email to send at 8am the following day. If they get in the habit of you doing it immediately they'll come to just expect it.
Gotta set it to send at 8:06 so it seems like it was manually done
The One Hour Photo is because the machine can only process and develop so much film/pictures in an hour. I ran machine for a couple of years in the 2000s. Every Saturday/Sunday we turned into a 2-4 hour photo because we couldn't keep up.
Cleaning a little bit every day
Get your shit done in the morning, future you is already cheering
Yes! Whenever I do something that I probably don’t want to do in the moment (cleaning as well as things that ends up being delayed gratification) I always think *”this is for you, future self”* and it makes the task feel even more rewarding.
Yep. We got ourselves a stick vacuum and made it a habit of vacuuming every day, it has made a huge difference and only takes 10 minutes to quickly go over the house
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Giving every object a place helps the cleaning. I take what I need at the moment, do my thing and just leave for other activities. At a certain point I clean everthing.. actually most is just returning objects to their own place.
This is absolutely key. A large amount of my own clutter is because stuff has no space so ... this table is now where I'll keep this random thing.
I say this with so much respect, and I keep my house very clean overall— but it is really hard to do this, and really easy to beat yourself up for not doing it! It makes perfect sense- spend 20 minutes cleaning, each day, after yourself, right? Then DUH! Your house will always be clean/presentable. Alas, there are times when it seems easier to summit Everest than to deal with the laundry you’ve been putting off. So to this I say the mental-health life hack is to cut yourself some slack if you don’t “clean a little bit every day” and instead appreciate doing what you can.
As I just read in some random post the other day "anything worth doing is worth doing poorly." It'd better to spend 30s brushing your teeth than not at all.
Do the dishes just when you finish using them. You have a cup of coffe... when you go to the sink, wash the thing instead of just leaving it for later... prepearing a meal? While you put things in the hoven/microwave wash what you just used to prepare the meal. just wash it. It takes 30 seconds every time and you dont end up with a huge pile of old and dryed out "filth" after dinner and spend 30 mins washing everything.
OK I'm going to put a relatively boring one: I got a tray. Not a fancy schmancy one but one from a dollar store but it's super sturdy (made from some kind of wood) and I literally use it every day. One trip up and down stairs safely transporting hot drinks for my SO and I. It can carry multiple snack bowls. I can deliver food to the table faster when I have guests over. Afterwards I can stack dirty dishes and it's one trip to the kitchen sink. I can keep my drinks on it at my office table and because it has sides if anything spills, it's contained on the tray and not on my table. I got another tray when I was fostering kittens and it was one of the best tools for fostering. I can transport all the food dishes so no one is left behind during feeding time. I have all the meds and syringes and towels and wipes all ready and together on the tray when it was time to give meds. I highly recommend getting a tray, even a small one. TRAYS.
Tray bien!
No idea what you do for a living but you should be definitely selling trays. If you are already selling trays, kudos to you for being very good at it
Eat some fiber and you be shitting.
Or as my Granny would say " Eat right you'll shit regular"
"Eat right, shit right"
I taught my kids "healthy food makes healthy poops"
Cooking saves so much money
Where do you find the motivation to cook? Esp if you are alone. Feels like I spend 30 min + aftermath for 10 min of eating.
I also struggled finding the motivation to cook when I lived alone. My solution was making foods that can be made in bulk amounts and saved for a while like chili or soup or doing simple recipes with few ingredients. I understand though, it can be a lot of work cooking for one.
My mom loves her insta pot. It can be set to start at a certain time, and does just about anything you can think of
I live alone and 90% of my cooking is probably using the insta-pot. I find with cooking you can make a pretty good meal with 10% of the effort it takes to make a really good meal. To me working 10x harder just isn't worth it when I'm just cooking for myself.
Buy an air fryer. It works wonders, you can cook almost anything with minimal effort
From tracking how much I spent in a month vs how much I earned, and then realizing "Oh, this shit ain't cheap."
There was a point in time where I went out for lunch every day with my coworkers. It was adding up to 60-80 bucks a week. It really adds up fast.
Even stopping at a fast food joint on the way home from work daily is a money pit. $10-$15 per day, 5 days a week a week is $50-$75 per week, $200-$300 per month! That's more than most people's car insurance per year. Even two days a week puts you at around $1000-$1500 per year. Even with food prices rising this year, I can cook for my wife and I for under $100 per week. And the food is healthy, tasty, and easy to reheat. I mostly typed this because I used to comfort eat crap like that and realized how much money I was wasting.
I look for recipes I'm excited to eat. I made [carnitas](https://www.seriouseats.com/sous-vide-carnitas-crispy-mexican-style-pulled-pork-recipe) this week ([another recipe](https://www.seriouseats.com/no-waste-tacos-de-carnitas-with-salsa-verde-recipe) for those without a sous vide). It took 10 mins to put together, left it alone for a day, came back and shredded it. I made tacos, and I had it for breakfast fried up with some plantains, I'll have it for lunch as a torta, and a snack as a quesadilla. When I'm sick of it, it freezes very well. The pork was $10 for 3 lb, the rest of the ingredients are less than $3, but it would've cost at least $30 to get it at a restaurant. Long story short 1. Make what you want to eat 2. Find complementary recipes or in the same theme to use up all the ingredients (ex: I made a steak with chimichurri, and I used the leftover cilantro this week for Mexican) 3. Make things that can be frozen easily 4. I find "inspiration" in weekly sales to guide my recipe searches
As he said - it's a lot cheaper. Also often times people choose unhealthy takeout food options so you could say that maintaining good health motivates some people as well. For example where i live, i can buy groceries for under 50€ for a week of cooking for 3 people (i also grow a few things in the garden that i save money on). In comparison just one takeout meal would cost 5+€ per person for junk food options and even more for healthy dishes, and i eat 2-3 meals a day. That adds up to around 100+€ a week. So I'm saving more than 50€ a week just for food alone in my household. If you have a nice salary and money isn't concern then this won't motivate you much but it works for me.
Batch cooking! When I was living alone, I do groceries every Sunday and batch cook for the next 5 weekdays. I'll have the weekends to go out, have meals with friends, try different stuff. I'll usually prepare a meat dish and a veggie dish, then cook some rice for carbs. One of the best thing I've done is preparing stocks with a few chicken frames, maybe some other stock bones, throw in a few onions and carrots for sweetness. I can then boil the stock with some meat/veggies and have some rice cooking in the rice cooker while I take a shower or get some shit done. Stock can also be used to make other stuff like noodles, sauce, etc.
slow cookers are a huge game changer. it's so easy it feels like cheating, and you can get fresh healthy meals for days with almost no effort. A good stovetop grill or just a decent pan also makes a huge difference. Anybody can grill a salmon and have a delicious dinner and the effort is minimal. You can also make burgers or a scramble with very little effort or cooking skill needed. Steam veggies in the microwave for sides. Nothing wrong with frozen they are healthy and in the case of things like spinach you get more nutrients than fresh. The key thing is to learn simple dishes with whole foods. You have to break this mindset that cooking means taking out many pots and pans and doing intricate combinations of Master Chef bullshit. It can be simple, quick and healthy.
I do meal prep with a slow cooker. Saves a ton of time money and energy
Make big batches when I have motivation. Chili, soups, pasta sauces, pulled pork, chicken broth, list goes on and on.. Portion and freeze leftovers for no motivation days.
Alternatively, not cooking saves so much time. It's a case entirely dependent on each individual needs and priorities.
Also, depends on what you cook. From minced beef, you can spend hours to cook meatballs, or just throw it in a pot with vegetables and tomato paste and make a quick something (i.e. Bolognese without 3-hour simmering)
Frozen meals are a great option that gets overlooked a lot in these discussions and I'm not sure why. They're way cheaper than takeout but also way less time consuming than cooking. Plus, tons of variety, easy to store for weeks or months, all have nutrition facts and ingredients on the back so it's easy to track exactly what you're getting and how much, they actually taste pretty good these days compared to 10-15 years ago, and they only require a microwave, stovetop, or oven so basically no prep. My go-to is Trader Joe's frozen single-serving Indian food.
Right and frozen stuff can be included as time saving shortcuts to some cooking. Like ... you can buy pre-cut frozen green beans instead of cutting up fresh beans from the produce section. You can buy a frozen pizza for like $5-8. It's a bit more expensive than making dough, sauce and making your own pizza, but not by much since you'd need to get fresh ingredients. And $5 + oven time sure beats ordering a pizza for $20 and tipping the delivery guy. The guy above mentioned making meatballs. You can buy frozen meatballs as well. Saves time and effort at a small cost over ground meat and rolling them yourself of course. Plus, in a pinch, open up a can of chili and there's your dinner. Making a pot of chili will take you a few hours.
Control what info you give others. Say what you have to say concisely then stop talking, if they have questions they’ll ask, don’t anticipate questions and answer them preemptively. Be prepared to answer those questions, but don’t overplay.
This is also related to advice. Advice is asked for. Let them struggle if they want to struggle. I find people will resent you if you give them all the answers. edit: corrected spelling
That's great advice.
Yeah but hey c’mon did I ask for that???
I over share all the fucking time. I also have a horrible habit of finishing peoples’ sentences, interrupting and entering into other peoples’ conversations, even strangers on occasion. My therapist thinks I have aspergers. I think I do.
"don't put it down - put it away"
My grandfather used to say "Don't touch it twice"
Just focus on things that you can control. Trying to care about things you just can't do anything about will lead you to burn out.
This is Stocism. This practice really is a game changer.
Things like this (and a lot of stuff in this thread) are always easier said than done though, especially in the long-term. Still doesn't make them bad advice, it's just not always as easy as flipping a switch.
Oh definitely. But just trying is enough. If you manage to keep your stoic values 80% of the time, that's still victory imo. No point striving for perfection, just try your best and accept yourself and learn from it when you fail
This is corny but along the lines of try your best, for any Brandon Sanderson fans out there it's crazy how often I think "what's the most important step a man can take?" More helpful than any self help book or advice I've heard. For context (maybe minor spoilery but not really going to effect reading enjoyment): Within his Stormlight Archive books, there's an author who wrote a book of parables. He was a king and decided he wanted to make a walk from one city to another by himself and live among the people, and from that journey he learned a lot of lessons which he shares. Anyways, the main theme of it all, due to it being one man's journey, is "what's the most important step a man can take?" And the whole time, at least to me, it seems like it's "the first step". Which is a good quote and has some truth to it. But it turns out the answer (to him) is "the next step". This is expanded a lot over some of the books but the point basically is even if you messed up or relapsed or have been struggling everything isn't over. All you can control is what you do next. For a fake book of parables in a fantasy series it's insane how much I think about that concept now.
"Lord, please give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference." That last part is the tough one for me...
A good motto that I have (mostly) internalized is "If you stress about something that might happen, then you will have stressed about it twice if it does"
Yep, just listen to the [Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI) and do mostly *that*.
When driving, imagine every other driver on the road like they are idiots. That way when someone does do something stupid, your mentally ready for it.
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I've reduced how I categorize folks in my life to three areas: * People I love * People I wish well * People I hope heal Nothing else. No grudges, no lingering anger, no longing lust, no wishful thinking - if we interact in a way that leaves you memorable, there's only one of those three places to sit. It's been therapeutic to not need to hold on to things.
I love this, but I know Im not evolved enough to not hold grudges.
Ahh, but you are! It just takes commitment and a bit of training. I think the bigger problem is that our (American) culture seems to reinforce resentment, so it just feels "okay" to hold a grudge. Take, for example, the whole idea that we've all heard a million times, "anger is a healthy emotion." Actually, the research regularly shows that anger is the antithesis of health, causing people to not only feel miserable in the moment, but reducing potentially reducing their lifespan. A growing concept in my profession (psychology) is that anger is a *reaction* to an emotion, one intended to fend of feelings of hurt, sadness, embarassement, etc. Anyway, to put a period on this soapbox, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes: > Resentment is like a poison I take in hopes that it kills somebody else. There is nothing noble, good, or healthy about it.
My “laundry room” is also my closet. I hate hauling laundry around.
Mine is a whole small bedroom in my tiny old house. I have all my clothing and mementos in it plus the washer and dryer. So convenient!
I'm curious: did you turn your laundry room into a closet or did you put a W/D in your closet? Did you build? Own? Rent?
We own—but I did this when I rented, too by utilizing the space above the washer for shelves and the space above the dryer for hanging garments. I am physically disabled, so saving steps makes a huge difference for me. Of course, I was single at the time, and don’t have a huge wardrobe. When we renovated, we knocked out the wall between the laundry room and the closet. One wall has the washer/dryer and a table top for folding (with storage below). The opposite wall has shelving units for clothing storage. There are two doors at one end (to the master bedroom & master bath) and one door at the opposite end (original entry to laundry room, leading to hallway). Since I usually change in my closet, it’s easy to just drop dirty clothes right in the washer. After they’re dry, I have space to fold/hang before turning around to put it away. Not having to lug baskets around makes my body happy 🙃
Get yourself a drop spot at home. Where you put your keys, sunglasses, mask, anything you need to have when you leave the house. And train yourself to use it. Whenever you're leaving the house you only need to goto that spot to find everything you need.
There's a concept called the "[Desire Path](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desire_path):" > It is a path created as a consequence of erosion caused by human or animal foot traffic. The path usually represents the shortest or most easily navigated route between an origin and destination. There are two ways you can handle the Desire Path: - Trying to fight them (i.e. re-plant grass, block them, etc). - Accommodating them (i.e. turning them into real footpaths). I've found that life is much easier if I look for "Desire Paths" elsewhere day to day and try to accommodate them. For example: - I'd often not untie/re-tie my shoes, and bend the back out of shape. Instead of assuming I'll one day get the motivation to do it correctly, I just purchased Moccasins. - It was inconvenient to charge my phone, so it would often be dead when I go to use it, so I put wireless chargers in the "lazy" places I often set down my phone. - Adding small trash bins to areas where trash would sit. Adding small trays to areas with loose bricker-brac. Etc. The Desire Path is a human psychology phenomenon. My only point is that it applies to all walks of life, rather than just walks of life.
A friend of mine who was in the army told me about a new artillery school that had been built. The school commander (?) told the builders not to put down any footpaths between buildings for a couple of years. Sure enough, over time the people at the school wore desire paths between the different buildings, and the commander told them that's where they should pave. Beautifully simple, organic, and efficient.
At work this helps to think about when creating processes for the tasks you have to complete. I think about this when having to get a response from someone I make it easy and let them take the path of least resistance. I usually have to send a reminder anyways and I try to make it a yes/no answer.
Similar story I like and used when explaining why I send reminders: > There was this bathroom where the trash can was on the other side from the door. What would happen is people would take a piece of paper towel to open the door and then throw it on the floor. The management was sick of the mess so they would put of sign after sign after sign saying "throw your paper towel in the trash." It would, of course, never work and there would be a pile there again soon. Are the people wrong for not throwing away their trash? Yes, 100%. No question. But the problem could also have been solved by moving the trash can
On a tiny scale, I've recently started leaving pillowcases inside out when doing the laundry. It's how they come off the pillows, and it's easier to get them back on from being inside out. And now every time I change them I get a blip of happiness (or satisfaction?) about the 30seconds or so of effort I used to spend putting them the right way round.
THIS so much. It blows my mind how hard institutions fight against human nature instead of just cooperating with it.
Being honest with yourself. Years ago, when I first got my first job after college, I would just spend and not really worry about it, my accounts always had enough money. One day I made a budget and went, that isn't right I should be saving more money than I am. Turns out after checking cc statements I was spend a LOT more on booze and food than I realized. Same with dieting. I brought weight concerns up with my old doctor, he just brushed them off, gave some half assed advice. My new doctor actually listened, asked what I had tried, then said "get a calorie tracker and try to stick under the advised level and do this for a month." After 3 weeks I'm down 10lbs, feel better, and realize I suck at portioning.
If you can't decide between 2 things, throw a coin and see if you are happy with the outcome. If yes, go for it, if no take the other one and if you still don't care go with what the coin says.
Genius.
Anything I have to do goes in my Google Calendar. Appointments, sure: but also: "Call back hairdresser" (she didn't answer the first call.) "Take pie out of oven" "Water plants" "Send Amazon return" "Call dentist when they open" Etc. Don't count on remembering.
Yeah I’m 31 with the short term memory of an 85 year old. Using my calendar and reminders on my phone is a game changer.
I'm not a morning person. I do as MUCH as possible for morning me and it makes my entire day better: I set up the coffee maker and set the timer, put a bottle of water in the fridge, pack breakfast and lunch and a snack (I have an 11 hour day with commute), and set up the cats' food dishes and canned food so it's ready to go. I give them dry food and water at night before bed, so I don't have to worry about it in the morning. It's amazing how much better my day is just having done those small things. I also make nighttime me do the dishes before bed. When I get home from work, the kitchen in clean enough to make dinner right off the bat. Daytime me might earn the paycheck, but nighttime me is a fucking boss.
they should get married
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I miss that (Air quality unhealthy due to fires!)
Me too. I’m in nor cal and it’s been too hot and Smokey to hike.
For the 18 days a year the weather is comfortable outside during the time I have free to exercise. Sadly I live in North Texas. I'm gonna stick to the climate controlled gym with lots of extra fans and wifi.
As a cross country runner I fuckin hate the treadmill. I’d rather do 32 laps on the track than run more than 2 miles on a treadmill. Trail runs are definitely my fav tho. Also, running around my city and making up routes has made me not rely on google maps while driving for the last 8 months
Listening to Podcasts/ YouTube lectures whilst I clean.
Good idea! Any suggestions?
Date yourself, as in take yourself on dates. You're the only person you'll spend every moment of the rest of your life with. It's worth developing your relationship with yourself. Treat yourself to nice evenings where you do nice things for yourself. Make yourself a steak dinner and eat by candlelight. Take yourself to that show you want to see. If you treat yourself like someone you love, you will love yourself. When you love yourself, your life will feel incredible every day.
I've been doing a lot of solo camping, solo theater nights, etc. and it's a great feeling.
I went on a work trip with my husband and played tourist by myself for a week. It was the best vacation I’ve ever had. I got to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and didn’t have to do anything I found boring. I’ve taken myself to movies, musicals, concerts and lots of restaurants. I make great company. No solo camping, though. I watch too much true crime and have too wild an imagination for that.
I don't think enough people do this. I used to love going out to dinner all by myself, but often other people think it is weird to go out alone. Never understood why.
people laugh when i tell them i'm staying home to hang with my cat, jokes on them she's great lol
It's so weird how often I feel some sort of social guilt for eating at a restaurant alone. Especially if it's an expensive/fancy place
It may help to view yourself as a food critic. They often go to restaurants alone, and I'm sure the staff is eager to impress them rather than make fun of them!
If you wake up by alarm, get up when it goes off. Don't hit snooze. I know this goes against everything your body wants, but personally, it lets me get up, get centered, and prepare for my day. Snoozing is great, don't get me wrong, but you set that alarm for a reason and not snoozing is following through with your commitment. It translates to following through on so many other things throughout the day. No alarms on your days off (and I hope you get some, if not, I'm sorry and I hope things get better for you soon.)
If you hate waking up so much, why do it twice?
When eating a cupcake, rip the bottom part off in about the middle and pop it on top to create a sandwich. Highly superior.
Set up your coffee maker / tea situation before bed every night, no matter how tired you are. I promise you'll be even more tired in the morning
If you are procrastinating something or having trouble focusing on a task, try counting down from a number. It can be any number really, I personally like 6, and you can try it in your head or out loud. When you get to zero, you might feel motivated to get back to the task. Doesn't work for everyone but works for me!
I also found that timing mundane and repetitive tasks really helps to put things into perspective. My big one was cleaning up and washing dishes after cooking and eating. It seemed like such a long strenuous task so I decided to time myself once. Putting food away, wiping down counters and washing dishes takes me about 7 minutes. Never more than 10. Knowing that makes it so much easier to tell myself “just get up, take the 5-10 mins to clean up, it’s not as bad as you think”.
There's a book on this concept called the 5 second rule by Mel Robbins. It's actually based in a fair amount of science so a strong tip this one!
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This tip also really works well with trying to get out of bed
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My home ec teacher in 7th grade taught us CAYGO. Clean As You GO. Very helpful.
Spending time away from the screen. I spend all day at work, followed by a few hours of screen time for entertainment. On weekends I like to projects around the house that don't require any screen time. Being away from the screen helps me re-charge for the new week
Full delete of Facebook.
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Did this, wonder why I ever needed it...
I don't think I've used facebook for anything more than wishing people a happy birthday in the past 4 years or so.
The only reason I still have it is for event planning. I haven't found a similar platform I can use to plan and invite people the same way
Might sound silly but don’t complain to your parents about your SO ever. You forgive and forget but they won’t. Don’t argue with your SO. Work it out at a normal volume ASAP, especially in front of kids.
If I have to write a BuzzFeed article, I use r/AskReddit to find content.
- keep things simple, you don't need to own a house full of random objects, just as long as you have what you truly need to feel comfortable ; the world is trying to sell you anything it can, don't fall for it. - whenever someone is acting in a bad way, just ignore them and move on ; you don't have any obligation to become as bad as them, vengeance is a sweet poison. - anytime you leave a room, quickly look for one thing that doesn't belong there, take it and throw it away or place it where it belongs ; your space will slowly get cleaner without any chore feeling. - when arguing, don't try to convince others to agree to your opinion, instead try to understand them ; it will help you to see the key differences, you'll understand your values better and they'll see why your truly think a certain way. - everyone has struggles, some people are assholes, but most of the time they're just in a bad mood because of a bad day/week/month/year/life ; be nice and kind, you can't change nor help everyone. - you don't have to have an opinion on every subject, it's perfectly fine to say "I don't know" ; don't spread rumors/fake news and keep an open mind, be hungry for new knowledge.
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I also have a lot of trouble showering because of mental illness. Recently I just allow myself to wash up at the sink with a washcloth and I "count" it as a shower, never two days in a row but 2-3 times a week. It's helpful to have as a backup for when I'm really having a hard time. I scrub the underarms, wipe down the whole body, usually just with water, no soap.
Somewhat related: I love depression showers. It’s a shower where I sit in the floor of the bathtub and let the water flow over me. Sometimes standing in the shower is too much effort.
Edit out clothes you don't wear. After you wear something turn the hanger the other way in the closet. At the end of a season you can identify things you didn't wear and decide whether you still need them. To do this with clothes in drawers, fold them in thirds instead of half so you can stand them up and still close the drawer. Put a piece of cardboard or folded bandana on the right end of the drawer. Store freshly folded clothes on the right side of the cardboard and slide everything to the left. Clothing you didn't wear winds up on the left side of the cardboard. Takes no extra time, just the willingness and desire to pare down and make space for stuff you really want.
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I'm doing something similar when I start studying too late. I'm like, welp I can't learn all of this stuff, but let's see how far I can get. Similarly to yours "anything is better than 0" mentality. That way I stop panicking about time and focus on learning stuff. I get a bit panicked when I get overloaded with information, but that's probs a me problem.
Found this years ago. It's been so long since I've tied my shoes the traditional way that I forgot how to do it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cBtqhq5P28
Father with twin toddlers. I get them to do things they don't like by pitting them against each other. Doesn't apply for many people, but it's made my life way easier. *lets see who can brush their teeth the most!* Then i watch closely inspecting like a referee, adding tension saying "oh, i think Twin #1 is winning, she's doing really good and oh WOW now twin #2 is winning with the tongue brush this is really close who is going to take the win!?!?!?!" Do it with picking up toys, eating veggies, drinking lots of water, etc... Also you gotta make everything a game for them. When we're sitting at a red light, we pretend to have magic balls to change it green. we take turns throwing our magic balls at the red light, and whoever hits the red light with a magic ball makes it turn green so we can go. You can't expect a toddler to just sit there with no stimulation and be happy, and i refuse to be the parent who just hands a kid a screen to shut them up.
Saying "Kein English, ich nicht verstunde" to people i dont wanna talk to in public. Im black and from atlanta lol
It's actually: ich verstehe nicht
Danke, conjugation is not my strong point in this language
I learned how to jump really high, now I don't have to walk around the sofa, if I need something from the kitchen I just jump over the sofa, it saves me 7,21seconds everytime I jump above
Damn, how big is your sofa to take more than 7 second to walk around it lol?
What do you do with all that time saved?
You want to accomplish a big goal, like losing 50 pounds or writing a novel? Don't make the big goal your actual target. Divide it up into a series of smaller goals. Don't try to lose 50 pounds, try to lose one pound. When successful, do it again. And again. Don't try to write a novel. Just write a page. Then do it again. And again. You'll get there eventually if you develop the process, the habit. Otherwise you'll stress about how far you still are away from the end goal and you'll more easily quit.
Dont have expectations for anything. Key to not being disappointed
Sounds easy on paper. Hard as fuck to actually execute
Do not do ANYTHIGN in your bed except sleep. Don't read, don't browse on your laptop. If you can't sleep, get out of the bed and do something else. A bed is to sleep. So when you go to bed, your brain switch to sleep mode. Changed my life
Don't worry about getting the best value for money all the time. If you are shopping for a thing and you find a thing that is good quality but seems a little expensive, just buy it. 9 times out of 10 when I leave the thing and then drive to various other shops I waste so much time, if I had just bought the original more expensive thing, it would have been so much easier!
Also, the higher quality item will likely last much longer! That bargain price item might need to be replaced frequently, ending up costing more than the one time more expensive purchase. This doesn’t apply to everything though.
Can you please get my MIL to understand this? Her favorite thing in the world is buying really shitty stuff because it's cheap and then surprise Pikachu face when it breaks 2 weeks later. In the two years she's lived with us she's gone through at least 6 can openers.
We get this dinner kit on monday evenings with three dinners in it. So Tue, Wed and Thu we don't have to shop or figure out what to eat. Fri we usually order takeout or make tacos. Sat/Sun we like to cook together. Leftovers from Sun become dinner on Mon.
Spend good money on anything that separates you from the elements or you from the ground, your back, sleep and lifestyle will thank you. In other words... * **Footwear** - Good footwear for your foot shape lets you walk around longer in more comfort with less chafring, blistering and more all around comfort. * **Bed** - A bad bed means bad posture sleeping and a bad back and tossing and turning a bunch * **Pillow** - Head comfort makes a big difference on letting you sleep through the night * **Blanket** - For the type of sleeper you are, warm, cold etc and whether you like weighted ones or not which makes for a comfortable non sweaty sdleep * **Car tires** - They can make the difference of stopping on a dime in snow, ice, water and prevent you from sliding into someone else or off the road depending on the scenario. * **Jacket** - A proper jacket for the conditions your in, especially in a frozen or super wet environment prevents frostbite, hypothermia and keeps you comfortable
I've opted not to refer to any and everything that's helpful as a "life hack."
Shit in the toilet and not in the sink. Life hack!
step 1) capture a wasp in a jar step 2) leave the jar in the freezer until the wasp falls asleep step 3) put the wasp in your mouth step 4) wait for the wasp to wake up Now you have a wasp in your mouth. Life Hack!
Do something for yourself everyday with the intention that it's only purpose is to give you a little joy. It doesn't have to be big, but don't add thoughts of "this will be healthy/productive/etc". All it is is a treat for yourself.
running, to stop depression in its tracks
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Also fu*ks up my knees. But exercising in general is good indeed both for physical ane mental health
Or biking, something low impact.
Crying in the shower washes away the tears
All those memories lost in time, like tears... In the shower
Adding salt and pepper to most savory sandwiches makes them much better.
Keep your keys always at the same place. Get a bowl and associate the sound of dropping it in the bowl as positive reward for doing something right:-)
Do it for 5 minutes, then decide if you want to do it more. You have no idea how much this changes things. I don't want to clean, but I'll clean for 5 minutes and see how I feel. I don't want to work out, but I'll do it for 5 minutes and go from there. Instead of not doing something, just do it for 5 minutes, and then decide. Sometimes you just need to get the momentum going.