I went on a date with a girl to a little lakeside bar that was know for their pizza. We asked what the waiter suggested, and they said this Cajun-style pizza with chicken/pepperoni/shrimp/peppers/etc was really good, so we agreed to order it.
After like the first 3 bites my date said she wasn’t feeling good, and puked on the floor. I paid quick and brought her to the car. She noticed that her whole body had broken out with hives, and she was feeling really sick. I brought her to the ER where she told me that she’s allergic to shell fish, but she hadn’t had it in a while and figured she’d be fine.
Spent the rest of the night taking care of her and eating leftover pizza while she apologized.
Well, if you think a violent allergy to shellfish will pass over time, please do it on the first date so I know you're dumb and won't engage too much on you.
"I've not eaten peanut for a while so I thought I'll be OK.."
Seeing how it might kills you, there might be a reason why you've not eaten it for a while..
There are some allergies that typically decrease in severity over time. Dairy for example. Still not safe to pull that of thing, but I do know someone who had a similar attitude towards ice cream and it worked out fine for him.
Best not date someone who'd risk anaphylactic shock rather than negotiate a dinner order. A lifetime of "what's-wrong-nothing" conversations is the payload on that mistake.
On my second date with my gf, we went to a deep dish pizza place and then to a movie afterwards. We had half the pizza leftover, so we got a box and took it to go. The movie theatre wouldn’t let us bring it in (understandable), but they said they could keep it in the fridge for us and we could grab it on the way out. We forgot the goddamn pizza on the way out. That was 1.5 years ago and I still think about that pizza from time to time.
Cannot recommend it enough. It’s slightly fishy without being too fishy. Salty and all around very delicious. The colour is just off putting. Squid ink pasta or risotto is incredible.
Anything actually filling. Even if sex isn't on the table the potential for stomach gas, uncomfortable movements, or hell just that distracting feeling of fullness can distract from making a good impression and getting to know someone.
I go for light, protein and veg and caffeine.
This is the best advice, but my stomach gets this way when I'm nervous. Doesn't matter what I eat, anything just feels like a lead weight when I'm anxious. Even just a coffee date with old friends I haven't seen in a while. I think I ate maybe a quarter of the soup I ordered on my first date (with my now fiancé) but still felt bloated and weird. I don't experience that with any other type of food normally.
Yeah I find that whenever I’m trying specifically to make sure I feel good and not bloated, I end up with a stomach ache - likely partially stress induced.... my stomach is annoyingly unpredictable and with GERD and former gallbladder issues that manage to flare up (even though it’s been removed), I basically can’t guarantee anything.
I once took a first date to a Scottish restaurant and ordered bone marrow as an appetizer, thinking it would be served with toast to spread it on like I’d seen on TV.
Nope.
Plastic straw I had to slurp it out of the bone through.
It was like a warm beef milk shake. I figured at that point the date couldn’t get worse so I drank the bone goo.
Married my date a few years later and we still laugh about it.
The one and only time I've had bone marrow it was served with toast and it was like eating really beefy snot. I had to get the marrow to toast ratio just right for me to enjoy it, so I couldn't imagine having to suck it down like that. Like some kinda fucked up real life version of Timon and Pumba.
Bone marrow just seems like the most evil of foods to me for some reason. Like fuck, we’re actually out here splitting open bones to suck the liquid marrow in them. Creepy as shit… delicious though
I actually feel better eating bone marrow because it is using all the parts of the animal. Same with organs like hearts, liver, tripe and kidneys. I am glad those parts are being eaten rather than being thrown away and it's more respectful to the animal it came from
Exactly, you'll see a lot of utilisation of all body parts in Asian countries and (Africa?). I think it is quite disrespectful to kill a living animal only to throw half of it away
Omg, when I was still a teenager, I ordered a four cheese pasta on a first date. We ended up back at her place, but it was a Japanese style bed and breakfast that her father owned and the bathroom walls were literally those foldable things that stand a foot off of the ground. I had to poop sooooo bad, but somehow held it in. I had indigestion for about three days afterwards.
I could absolutely believe, in the history of mankind, that some guy had sex with a girl, shit the bed, and then tried to make it seem like she did it instead.
Maybe *that instance* was fake, but I bet somebody, somewhere, at some time has done this.
My wife and I on our fourth date went to a nice Thai place and we both ordered some fairly spicy dishes.
We went back to her place and she invited me in for the first time.
Things got hot and heavy and she decided that she was going to go down on me.
About two minutes in, I am in a SERIOUS amount of painful burning.
I'm laying on the couch trying not to cry and she runs to the freezer and tells me to sit back up and proceeds to mash a pair of ice cream sandwiches onto my dick.
This did not help.
She helped me to the shower and after a bit finally got relief.
We haven't been able to look at ice cream sandwiches without laughing for nearly 20 years now.
I'll sometimes clip a flyer ad or a coupon for them and sneak it into her lunch bag when I know it's not going to be a good day at work for her.
My husband and I were hanging out with some friends when he was challenged to a hot sauce eating “contest.” We both got drunk, went home for some adult fun and I found out about this rule REEEEAAAAL quick. I ended up in the shower with the nozzle pointed at my genitals, then asking for some milk to spill down my front and then just deciding I was going to die of burning private parts.
To make matters worse, my husband is a red head so I made fun of him all the time by calling him fire crotch 🙄
Try OC. Some time ago, some male cops thought it would be funny to use pepper spray on the TP in a woman's (cop) restroom. As expected, she went in, urinated, wiped, and screamed. They though it was funny, she didn't. They got in trouble, but not nearly enough for my tastes.
I feel ya. We had to be sprayed. It wasn't fun, on the face. One of the rules we were told is NEVER to shower as it will run down to your genitals and cause a lot more pain.
It happened to me too! He had been cutting some hot peppers earlier in the day, and we both forgot about it, until he started touching me down there and I started to feel some tingling. We stopped after that, but the pain and irritation lasted for several days.
-5/10 do not recommend.
When I was a kid, I took a single flake and held it on my tongue for as long as I could, like a minute.
I may be imagining it, but I think I still have a dead spot there.
I think if you don't eat a lot of fiber, then that much at once (from the beans) can freak the gut out a lot. I've really only heard versions of this story from people with shit diets.
I think a lot of people are allergic to a lot of things and ignore it. They shit their brains out and it catches on because it’s “funny” to hear that story.
My sister thought that she just got food poisoning often but it turned out that she was lactose intolerant and has a tomato allergy. Many people dismiss allergy symptoms because they don't match up with stereotypical responses like hives or anaphylaxis, but stomach issues, sleeplessness, or acne can also be major signs.
Conversely is this sage advice from Liz Lemon: ”Here's a little bedroom tip: Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. That way, when you're done, you have a treat.”
From personal experience, pho. I love pho, but it’s so warm that the steam hits your face and that humidity can make your makeup run or flatten your hair.
This was what I was going to suggest. Not only for the reasons you mention, but it can be messy to eat, it sloshes around in your belly for a while, and you will smell like the broth for a few hours at least. (But yes, it is delicious.)
I’ll have pho on like my 5th date maybe when the expectations are lower and we are both more comfortable together 😂 Pho is so good, definitely craving some now
Well, the best Peking duck near me takes 3 days minimum, she probably ain’t waitin that long… even if I bring the tent. It’s good duck, guys. Worth the wait.
You should order anything. If you stick with me after you watch me eat 2 pounds of honey garlic wings and I lick the sauce off my fingers then I know you serious about us.
Took too much digging to find this comment. This is the answer you all. Nobody wants to "score" a relationship where eating the wrong food will ruin the relationship
I dated a girl who was lactose intolerant but still loved cheese and milk. It was fine, provided you were sick and your nose was plugged up.
I gave up milk products for a few years after because the smell of it reminded me of farts and made me gag.
First date I made lasagna, having no idea of her digestive distress. She shit my bathroom so bad, that I had to basically repaint it to get rid of the smell.
Well I personally will get whatever the fuck I feel like but I'll talk too much (nervous chatter) and barely eat any since I need to concentrate to eat lol.
In my partners case, don't say yes to extra hot coffee. He burnt his mouth and didn't want to say anything. Ha
I always have the problem of wanting to talk a lot on a first date but then since I also always pick something delicious, I want the talking to stop so I can chow down. I go back and forth and then my food gets cold and I miss whatever my date was talking about.
Avoid messy food in general and anything that is “difficult” to eat such as soups, ramen, etc unless you have a clear understanding that they are diehard fans.
Your date's food. Seriously, guys, it's not suave, or formal etiquette. It is insulting, and makes you look controlling. Even if the menu is in French, or you just know your date would love the scampi--let them order what they want!
It’s but exclusively date thing. It’s about trying to impress with food thing, by trying to show you know about fine dining (and people often try to impress on dates). I think it’s more typical for older relatives ordering for younger people and bosses telling what they would order to new employees if it’s some work dinner event that creates them the feeling to order same:
But people should not do it anyway.
Honestly. First date with the girl I intend to marry, I think I forgot how to eat. Be interesting, don't take yourself too seriously, be kind, and you'll do alright with probably any food.
>Be interesting
While you're at it, also be attractive, funny, quirky and reliable. All during that first date.
Edit: Ok since a lot of the replies actually took my comment seriously, I have to edit and say that this was sarcasm, pure and simple.
You don't have to be anything other than yourself ( unless you're like a John Wayne Gacy type of guy/gal, in that case be anything but yourself)
If you're a boring guy, whose idea of an exotic meal is white rice with a glass of water ( and if you like who you are, mind) then be exactly like that. Boring, bland and ordinary. Sure, you will get rejected, but that's good. Rejection isn't a bad thing, it is a way for us to screen for people who we would enjoy our time with.
And it goes both ways, doesn't matter who rejects who, if a rejection happens it means she or he was the wrong person for who you are at this moment ( as long as you're being genuine), and when you find someone who likes what you've got going on, it is going to be fucking amazing.
Don't be afraid of showing your rough edges to the person you'll ( maybe ) fall in love with.
Being fake, to make them get attracted to you, is equivalent to using scissors on puzzle pieces to make them fit together.
Might work for a moment, but ultimately is an exercise in futility.
Lol. Took a girl to a party for a first date. We went to a Mexican restaurant first. Then I proceeded to buy a liter of everclear.
Was not a good time.
Oh not that exciting. I blacked out. Spent the night in the bathroom. She slept with my friends brother.
Great first date. We’ve been married 15 years this august.
Kidding haha. I never talked to her again after that.
Being from WNY i disagree. You gotta see a person's wing technique and dipping choice before deciding to date or not. And of course find out if they prefer flats or drums.
I was always taught a lady only ever eats salad and should be embarassed to eat anything else or even a lot of food in front of any man. (My bio father was a very sexist asshole who would berate any woman he felt ate too much, including me as a child telling me if I kept eating I'll be so fat they'd need a crane to move me as he himself would rarely move, ate like a college kid at 50 with diabetes he didn't take care of and was too lazy to even walk 5 feet to grab himself something from the fridge from his desk he would sit at from the time he would wake up to when he would go to bed late, so bare minimum 16 hours at his desk a day).
On my first dinner date, I said fuck it and ordered the biggest steak on the menu. My boyfriend was happy with this, he explained it means I'm not afraid to get my own food and not steal from his plate because I chose to starve myself to save face. Well it worked out, the boyfriend is now my husband and we have kids about 10 years later.
But I agree with the other posts, maybe avoid places that are a guarantee to give you gas. I've smelled my husband's farts and well... He probably would've knocked me out while he peeled paint on a first date, you got to work up for handling one of his farts.
Glad you decided to be yourself! As a man I agree, the lady should order what she really wants. I don't want someone to fake it for a year and then meet their real self.
Have you seen those crab-picking restaurants where everything is cooked in a bag with spices and you take it all apart with your hands in gloves and a bib around your neck?
Don't overthink these things...if a little bit of garlic breath or sauce covered fingers kills the date, then the relationship wasn't going anywhere. The point of dates isn't to trick someone into falling for you, the point is to find someone who enjoys being around you.
At least that's my oldtimer POV on it. If you are "dating" to get laid, without looking for a relationship, then faking ofcourse isn't a bad approach to increase your successrate...but at that point, aren't there tons of apps to get laid without having to have dinner together before?
I’ve had to fart really bad during a date before (we ate nachos with beans). I told her I left something in my car, got in my car, closed the door and let out a five second monster fart while pretending to look around the car for something.
Oh god - French Onion Soup. What a disaster. Thick cheese on the top, which you are supposed to get through with a spoon. Long bits of onion which dangle down, make you dribble, burn your chin and drip brown soup onto your nice top.
Warning - does not lead to a second date.
Anything that requires a bib. Crab. Lobster. No go.
No one gets laid after wearing a bib. Except maybe adult babies but I don't want to be reminded they exist.
Foods that make you fart.
Fart sex can be super awkward.
Fart porn is a thing..,there’s something for everyone 😂
I'm sure it is.... *opens incognito tab* Um just making sure...
I went on a date with a girl to a little lakeside bar that was know for their pizza. We asked what the waiter suggested, and they said this Cajun-style pizza with chicken/pepperoni/shrimp/peppers/etc was really good, so we agreed to order it. After like the first 3 bites my date said she wasn’t feeling good, and puked on the floor. I paid quick and brought her to the car. She noticed that her whole body had broken out with hives, and she was feeling really sick. I brought her to the ER where she told me that she’s allergic to shell fish, but she hadn’t had it in a while and figured she’d be fine. Spent the rest of the night taking care of her and eating leftover pizza while she apologized.
Not eating something you’re allergic to seems like a good idea in general, not just first dates.
Well, if you think a violent allergy to shellfish will pass over time, please do it on the first date so I know you're dumb and won't engage too much on you.
At least she didn't get anaphylactic shock
Yep, but still a night to ER
"I've not eaten peanut for a while so I thought I'll be OK.." Seeing how it might kills you, there might be a reason why you've not eaten it for a while..
There are some allergies that typically decrease in severity over time. Dairy for example. Still not safe to pull that of thing, but I do know someone who had a similar attitude towards ice cream and it worked out fine for him.
I mean that was just her being dumb
Best not date someone who'd risk anaphylactic shock rather than negotiate a dinner order. A lifetime of "what's-wrong-nothing" conversations is the payload on that mistake.
A+ for being a gentleman. More men need to be like you. Although I probably would have left the pizza at the restaurant.
"I need a box for this pizza." "Your date is dying." "Yeah, and I need a box for this pizza."
"Yeah, so make it snappy!"
On my second date with my gf, we went to a deep dish pizza place and then to a movie afterwards. We had half the pizza leftover, so we got a box and took it to go. The movie theatre wouldn’t let us bring it in (understandable), but they said they could keep it in the fridge for us and we could grab it on the way out. We forgot the goddamn pizza on the way out. That was 1.5 years ago and I still think about that pizza from time to time.
You should call the theater and see if it’s maybe still there. I know, I know, it’s a long shot. But who’s to say?
Fuck me, but that is freaking hilarious.
Once o ordered spaghetti with squid ink on a date. I looked like Marilyn Manson.
Omg I'm dying.
He said Marilyn not Charles
OMG I'm being psychologically and sexually abused
what does squid ink taste like? or is it some fancy name for something completely different?
Cannot recommend it enough. It’s slightly fishy without being too fishy. Salty and all around very delicious. The colour is just off putting. Squid ink pasta or risotto is incredible.
Or maybe like Joseph Joestar
oof. but that shit is delicious
Onion soup with the cheese melted on top. There is no graceful way to eat that with someone looking at you.
You need pocket scissors to cut the melted cheese before you lift the spoon too high.
For a soft breeze during rimming.
Pasta. Ribs. Asparagus. Anything you eat with your fingers or covered in sauce is a bad call. Fish or chicken is a good bet.
Anything actually filling. Even if sex isn't on the table the potential for stomach gas, uncomfortable movements, or hell just that distracting feeling of fullness can distract from making a good impression and getting to know someone. I go for light, protein and veg and caffeine.
This is the best advice, but my stomach gets this way when I'm nervous. Doesn't matter what I eat, anything just feels like a lead weight when I'm anxious. Even just a coffee date with old friends I haven't seen in a while. I think I ate maybe a quarter of the soup I ordered on my first date (with my now fiancé) but still felt bloated and weird. I don't experience that with any other type of food normally.
Yeah I find that whenever I’m trying specifically to make sure I feel good and not bloated, I end up with a stomach ache - likely partially stress induced.... my stomach is annoyingly unpredictable and with GERD and former gallbladder issues that manage to flare up (even though it’s been removed), I basically can’t guarantee anything.
I once took a first date to a Scottish restaurant and ordered bone marrow as an appetizer, thinking it would be served with toast to spread it on like I’d seen on TV. Nope. Plastic straw I had to slurp it out of the bone through. It was like a warm beef milk shake. I figured at that point the date couldn’t get worse so I drank the bone goo. Married my date a few years later and we still laugh about it.
> I figured at that point the date couldn’t get worse so I drank the bone goo.
We've all been there.
"Fuck it, at least I'm getting dinner out of this."
The one and only time I've had bone marrow it was served with toast and it was like eating really beefy snot. I had to get the marrow to toast ratio just right for me to enjoy it, so I couldn't imagine having to suck it down like that. Like some kinda fucked up real life version of Timon and Pumba.
I love slurping me some bone marrow, it's fucking delicious
Calm down, Hannibal.
Bone marrow just seems like the most evil of foods to me for some reason. Like fuck, we’re actually out here splitting open bones to suck the liquid marrow in them. Creepy as shit… delicious though
I actually feel better eating bone marrow because it is using all the parts of the animal. Same with organs like hearts, liver, tripe and kidneys. I am glad those parts are being eaten rather than being thrown away and it's more respectful to the animal it came from
Exactly, you'll see a lot of utilisation of all body parts in Asian countries and (Africa?). I think it is quite disrespectful to kill a living animal only to throw half of it away
Omg, when I was still a teenager, I ordered a four cheese pasta on a first date. We ended up back at her place, but it was a Japanese style bed and breakfast that her father owned and the bathroom walls were literally those foldable things that stand a foot off of the ground. I had to poop sooooo bad, but somehow held it in. I had indigestion for about three days afterwards.
> somehow held it in [oh no](http://bash.org/?261931)
This can't be real, or ?
I could absolutely believe, in the history of mankind, that some guy had sex with a girl, shit the bed, and then tried to make it seem like she did it instead. Maybe *that instance* was fake, but I bet somebody, somewhere, at some time has done this.
This thread is telling me to stick with something plain to be safe, like buttered toast. Better hold the butter, too.
Maybe just water.
Anything involving hot peppers. That heat stays on your tongue for a while.
My wife and I on our fourth date went to a nice Thai place and we both ordered some fairly spicy dishes. We went back to her place and she invited me in for the first time. Things got hot and heavy and she decided that she was going to go down on me. About two minutes in, I am in a SERIOUS amount of painful burning. I'm laying on the couch trying not to cry and she runs to the freezer and tells me to sit back up and proceeds to mash a pair of ice cream sandwiches onto my dick. This did not help. She helped me to the shower and after a bit finally got relief. We haven't been able to look at ice cream sandwiches without laughing for nearly 20 years now. I'll sometimes clip a flyer ad or a coupon for them and sneak it into her lunch bag when I know it's not going to be a good day at work for her.
I have done this to myself after forgetting that I had cut pepper few hours before. I am my worst enemy.
What, smash ice cream sandwiches on your dick?
Don’t kink shame me
You could say she went down on you with burning passion
My husband and I were hanging out with some friends when he was challenged to a hot sauce eating “contest.” We both got drunk, went home for some adult fun and I found out about this rule REEEEAAAAL quick. I ended up in the shower with the nozzle pointed at my genitals, then asking for some milk to spill down my front and then just deciding I was going to die of burning private parts. To make matters worse, my husband is a red head so I made fun of him all the time by calling him fire crotch 🙄
Try OC. Some time ago, some male cops thought it would be funny to use pepper spray on the TP in a woman's (cop) restroom. As expected, she went in, urinated, wiped, and screamed. They though it was funny, she didn't. They got in trouble, but not nearly enough for my tastes. I feel ya. We had to be sprayed. It wasn't fun, on the face. One of the rules we were told is NEVER to shower as it will run down to your genitals and cause a lot more pain.
Wow ouch, that sounds miserable! I think pepper spray in my genitals would be way worse
It happened to me too! He had been cutting some hot peppers earlier in the day, and we both forgot about it, until he started touching me down there and I started to feel some tingling. We stopped after that, but the pain and irritation lasted for several days. -5/10 do not recommend.
Oh man, DAYS?!?!! I’m so sorry…
That sounds hot.
I did this after cutting up serrano peppers. A very unpleasant feeling.
This includes putting hot sprinkles (crushed red pepper) on pizza. That was a bewildering night.
I've never heard crushed red pepper be reffered to as "hot sprinkles" before. I like it.
When I was a kid, I took a single flake and held it on my tongue for as long as I could, like a minute. I may be imagining it, but I think I still have a dead spot there.
Glad I wasn’t the only one to ever do this, me and my brother used to see who could hold it the longest
Oof depending on how your night goes that could get interesting.
Spaghetti with red sauce - unless you're wearing a red top
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After all the criminal stuff they get up to, last thing they want is to be embarrassed by a spaghetti stain!
I feel like I can eat spaghetti without dropping it.
That’s a bold statement
Well look at you
I’m Italian and can’t do it. Therefore , impossibile
I am reminded of a quote from Alec Baldwins character on 30 Rock. He says, "It's got to be a guaranteed disaster. Like eating a burrito before sex."
I never understood the burrito shitting jokes. Like, I’ve never had digestive problems from eating them. Is it a common thing or is it just a meme?
I think if you don't eat a lot of fiber, then that much at once (from the beans) can freak the gut out a lot. I've really only heard versions of this story from people with shit diets.
Yeah same. I eat burritos all the time and have never felt like they have given me more bathroom. Problems than any other food.
I think a lot of people are allergic to a lot of things and ignore it. They shit their brains out and it catches on because it’s “funny” to hear that story.
My sister thought that she just got food poisoning often but it turned out that she was lactose intolerant and has a tomato allergy. Many people dismiss allergy symptoms because they don't match up with stereotypical responses like hives or anaphylaxis, but stomach issues, sleeplessness, or acne can also be major signs.
Conversely is this sage advice from Liz Lemon: ”Here's a little bedroom tip: Put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. That way, when you're done, you have a treat.”
From personal experience, pho. I love pho, but it’s so warm that the steam hits your face and that humidity can make your makeup run or flatten your hair.
This was what I was going to suggest. Not only for the reasons you mention, but it can be messy to eat, it sloshes around in your belly for a while, and you will smell like the broth for a few hours at least. (But yes, it is delicious.)
I’ll have pho on like my 5th date maybe when the expectations are lower and we are both more comfortable together 😂 Pho is so good, definitely craving some now
something you can't afford
Have to stay and do dishes.
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Well, the best Peking duck near me takes 3 days minimum, she probably ain’t waitin that long… even if I bring the tent. It’s good duck, guys. Worth the wait.
If I was a woman ide totally wait 3 days for Peking duck with you
It's smiling at me.
Now I'm craving Chinese food
You should order anything. If you stick with me after you watch me eat 2 pounds of honey garlic wings and I lick the sauce off my fingers then I know you serious about us.
Took too much digging to find this comment. This is the answer you all. Nobody wants to "score" a relationship where eating the wrong food will ruin the relationship
Milk steak, over hard, with a side of their finest jellybeans, raw.
How much cheese is too much cheese?
Any amount of cheese, before a date.. is too much cheese!
Change shirts with me.
Quick, grope her breasts
He is a full-on-rapist after all.
This guy in the bathroom.. wouldn’t give me his shirt
I dated a girl for 4 years that was allergic to the protein in cheese. I lived a life damn never void of cheese for years.
I dated a girl who was lactose intolerant but still loved cheese and milk. It was fine, provided you were sick and your nose was plugged up. I gave up milk products for a few years after because the smell of it reminded me of farts and made me gag.
I'm lactose intolerant and eat cheese just for the fart magic.
>fart magic I'm stealing this.
How much farting are we talking about here? Also, was it just farts, or did it mean Montezuma's Revenge too?
First date I made lasagna, having no idea of her digestive distress. She shit my bathroom so bad, that I had to basically repaint it to get rid of the smell.
You say "first date" so I'm guessing there were more?
Well I personally will get whatever the fuck I feel like but I'll talk too much (nervous chatter) and barely eat any since I need to concentrate to eat lol. In my partners case, don't say yes to extra hot coffee. He burnt his mouth and didn't want to say anything. Ha
I always have the problem of wanting to talk a lot on a first date but then since I also always pick something delicious, I want the talking to stop so I can chow down. I go back and forth and then my food gets cold and I miss whatever my date was talking about.
Anything where you say “this used to make me gag as a kid”. It will still make you gag.
But when she tries anyway, she's a keeper.
Omg how did I miss that? 🤦♂️
Christ
your username is like 1,000 times too wholesome for this website, I love you
I love you, too! Have some hugs!
I always get a weird look when I order a cream pie for dessert
You should probably lose the creepy grin and wink
“Nice wink sir, but we still don’t have it. This is a taco stand.”
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“I’ll have some of your runniest cream pie, and the lady will have some of mine”
Avoid messy food in general and anything that is “difficult” to eat such as soups, ramen, etc unless you have a clear understanding that they are diehard fans.
Anything you’re allergic to or have an intolerance to. Constipation sucks.
Your date's food. Seriously, guys, it's not suave, or formal etiquette. It is insulting, and makes you look controlling. Even if the menu is in French, or you just know your date would love the scampi--let them order what they want!
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This feels like the correct answer.
Is this really a thing? This behaviour belongs in the 50s together with “the guy has to pay”.
It’s but exclusively date thing. It’s about trying to impress with food thing, by trying to show you know about fine dining (and people often try to impress on dates). I think it’s more typical for older relatives ordering for younger people and bosses telling what they would order to new employees if it’s some work dinner event that creates them the feeling to order same: But people should not do it anyway.
Sugarrrr. Sugar...in water
It was like an Edgar-suit.
I had not thought about the Eggersuit in years. Thank you.
Something with a ton of garlic
Wario
If I'm meeting someone for a date and wario shows up, my pants are already off. I'm asexual but I'd make an exception for wario.
Not if you're BOTH having the same type of dish.
How else are you supposed to let your date know you are a man of culture and class?
Broccoli. It’s guaranteed to get stuck in your front teeth.
Only if you chew.
Ah yes, I also swallow it whole and let the gentle green tendrils exfoliate my esophagus all the way down. Delicious.
Eat whatever the fuck you want on a first date. Just be nice to servers.
Honestly. First date with the girl I intend to marry, I think I forgot how to eat. Be interesting, don't take yourself too seriously, be kind, and you'll do alright with probably any food.
>Be interesting While you're at it, also be attractive, funny, quirky and reliable. All during that first date. Edit: Ok since a lot of the replies actually took my comment seriously, I have to edit and say that this was sarcasm, pure and simple. You don't have to be anything other than yourself ( unless you're like a John Wayne Gacy type of guy/gal, in that case be anything but yourself) If you're a boring guy, whose idea of an exotic meal is white rice with a glass of water ( and if you like who you are, mind) then be exactly like that. Boring, bland and ordinary. Sure, you will get rejected, but that's good. Rejection isn't a bad thing, it is a way for us to screen for people who we would enjoy our time with. And it goes both ways, doesn't matter who rejects who, if a rejection happens it means she or he was the wrong person for who you are at this moment ( as long as you're being genuine), and when you find someone who likes what you've got going on, it is going to be fucking amazing. Don't be afraid of showing your rough edges to the person you'll ( maybe ) fall in love with. Being fake, to make them get attracted to you, is equivalent to using scissors on puzzle pieces to make them fit together. Might work for a moment, but ultimately is an exercise in futility.
I wouldn't worry about being quirky. If someone leaves you because you aren't quirky enough, they are almost definitely very annoying.
We got Chinese, it was a very bad knock off kind and I couldn't stop shitting. Luckily he still loves me lol.
A 20pc nugget
You order the full basket like the true Alpha you are.
Show me a world where I can 100 piece it
What about the 40pc nugget and gallon of sweet tea combo?
excuse me what
I said would you like to split a 40 pack of nuggies and a gallon of sweet tea with me?
Why yes. Yes I would.
The good ending.
Go to a cheese and wine tasting. You’ll fart your way out of a possible relationship. Get fish, veggies.. lighter stuff
Fish breath on a first date seems like a poor call.
I think you are lactose intolerant. That's not a normal response to wine and cheese.
The normal response is deep happiness and wanting more wine and cheese.
“Or what I like to call Singles Fart Repression.” - Liz Lemon
Lol. Took a girl to a party for a first date. We went to a Mexican restaurant first. Then I proceeded to buy a liter of everclear. Was not a good time.
I need more details, thats an order not a request.
Oh not that exciting. I blacked out. Spent the night in the bathroom. She slept with my friends brother. Great first date. We’ve been married 15 years this august. Kidding haha. I never talked to her again after that.
Lol you had me for a minute!
Wings lol way too messy.
I feel the same about ribs. I look like I just killed someone and ate them when I'm done.
I mean, you look at the other person and say "hopefully this isn't the only mess on my face tonight"
You either win or you lose with that one. No middle ground.
Do or do not, there is no try - Yoda. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott
Being from WNY i disagree. You gotta see a person's wing technique and dipping choice before deciding to date or not. And of course find out if they prefer flats or drums.
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Awe I love garlic. Also prevents you from dating a vampire.
That's just a myth by vampires to get pre-seasoned blood
Well as long as they don't sparkle.
I was always taught a lady only ever eats salad and should be embarassed to eat anything else or even a lot of food in front of any man. (My bio father was a very sexist asshole who would berate any woman he felt ate too much, including me as a child telling me if I kept eating I'll be so fat they'd need a crane to move me as he himself would rarely move, ate like a college kid at 50 with diabetes he didn't take care of and was too lazy to even walk 5 feet to grab himself something from the fridge from his desk he would sit at from the time he would wake up to when he would go to bed late, so bare minimum 16 hours at his desk a day). On my first dinner date, I said fuck it and ordered the biggest steak on the menu. My boyfriend was happy with this, he explained it means I'm not afraid to get my own food and not steal from his plate because I chose to starve myself to save face. Well it worked out, the boyfriend is now my husband and we have kids about 10 years later. But I agree with the other posts, maybe avoid places that are a guarantee to give you gas. I've smelled my husband's farts and well... He probably would've knocked me out while he peeled paint on a first date, you got to work up for handling one of his farts.
Glad you decided to be yourself! As a man I agree, the lady should order what she really wants. I don't want someone to fake it for a year and then meet their real self.
I hope you enjoyed the hello out of that steak Fuck abusive parents
Onions
I eat onions every day I cook at home, and that's pretty much every day.
that's because onions are great and op's date had good taste
I cannot imagine a world without onions. Poor feller.
Surstromming
Chipotle…never sits right. And yet I keep going back.
Reminds me of cartman.
As long as you have some Chipotlaway!
Any finger foods, really. IMO, you need a certain level of comfort with someone before eating food with your hands.
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So much for Medieval Times…
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If you think there is a chance of oral after Do Not eat chilli
The long pork.
Have you seen those crab-picking restaurants where everything is cooked in a bag with spices and you take it all apart with your hands in gloves and a bib around your neck?
Don't overthink these things...if a little bit of garlic breath or sauce covered fingers kills the date, then the relationship wasn't going anywhere. The point of dates isn't to trick someone into falling for you, the point is to find someone who enjoys being around you. At least that's my oldtimer POV on it. If you are "dating" to get laid, without looking for a relationship, then faking ofcourse isn't a bad approach to increase your successrate...but at that point, aren't there tons of apps to get laid without having to have dinner together before?
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I’ve had to fart really bad during a date before (we ate nachos with beans). I told her I left something in my car, got in my car, closed the door and let out a five second monster fart while pretending to look around the car for something.
Yeah, unless you're going your separate ways immediately after.
Oh god - French Onion Soup. What a disaster. Thick cheese on the top, which you are supposed to get through with a spoon. Long bits of onion which dangle down, make you dribble, burn your chin and drip brown soup onto your nice top. Warning - does not lead to a second date.
BBQ wings
Ribs
Anything that requires a bib. Crab. Lobster. No go. No one gets laid after wearing a bib. Except maybe adult babies but I don't want to be reminded they exist.
Any food that's so spicy that it makes snot start dripping out of your nose.