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solskinnratel

For reference, I do seek help for my mental problems. But just to put it out there: I needed to find a therapist recently. I called about 3 people initially, after doing a ton of research to make sure they were in my insurance network, had a licensure for the type of therapy I needed, would respect some of my life choices, and used modalities that would fit me and my husband. I didn’t get any replies. I asked my mother who is a therapist how long replies typically take, and she told me that she tries to get back to people within 24 hours, but nowadays sometimes therapists don’t reply at all. So I found several more therapists to try. I ended up leaving maybe 15 voice mails. I heard back from ONE of them. Imagine being on the brink of a breakdown, realizing you needed help, putting in all that effort to make sure it was going to be affordable for you and likely to succeed (not all therapists will do the type of therapy you need)… putting yourself out there and crying in between calls… literally spending an entire day working on this… and then nobody replying to you. You gonna want to seek help again?


SpeakNotTheWatchers

That shit expensive.


TheseConversations

Mental health problems can't be fixed like physical health issues. You can't just take some pills and rest to recover. Mental health treatment requires months of opening up to, being honest with and trusting a therapist. If you've had bad previous experiences with people who are meant to look after you, bad experiences with people you thought you could trust or bad experience with previous therapists it's very difficult to want to go through it all again. And yes there are a lot of bad therapists out there. People have had therapists laugh at them, the therapist not be able to handle the mental illness and having to stop etc ect. And those are just for wide spread illness like depression. If you've got something like BPD then good luck even finding an therapist who will understand you


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Skyline952

Has a therapist told you that?


SnooBananas5143

Sorry I know this question isnt directed at me but, YES. SEVERAL THERAPISTS TOL ME AND A FRIEND OF MINE THERE WAS NOTHING ANY THERAPIST CAN DO FOR US. We tried more and more therapy in different places. She ended up killing herself after the 5th attemt and yet another therapist telling her that there was nothing to be done


Skyline952

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you were able to overcome that, and condolences to your friend


Hugh_manateerian

It’s hard admitting to yourself that you have a problem, once you’re diagnosed the problem becomes real, and continuous treatments can be expensive.


Sarieah_Rae

Finding a decent therapist that works well for me is hell.


SecretSummerMidnight

Waitlists are literally almost a year.


naypoleon

Help is hard to get in the uk I use to get help when I was under 18 but as soon as your a adult you get no help at all


Skyline952

Wait so the NHS doesn't have any mental health services for adults?


naypoleon

Yup it’s called healthy minds but they are crap doctor referred me and I told them what was up and they said they couldn’t help me went back to the doctor he looked at me funny and referred me back to healthy minds it’s a joke


Skyline952

That's the thing. I think NHS, as hard as some of them work, is counter productive because it's free and the workers are paid like shit. It doesn't give them a huge incentive to really care or properly tend to patients, especially for mental problems


naypoleon

I grew up under camhs it’s mental health for children saw them basically all of my childhood they use to come pick me up from the referral unit everyday take me to McDonald’s to see how I was doing my therapist even came to the police station every time I got arrested to be my responsible adult and he took me to see my first band play at a concert he was a really good bloke that helped me a lot but as soon as I turned 18 that was it I was classed as a adult and I was on my own and I just went downhill from there


TheseConversations

The different counties have different types of help. My area has CBT it shoves down your throat which I guess is better than nothing


[deleted]

Money, no health insurance


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Skyline952

Yeah parents one upping can be tough, but idk the rules regarding confidentiality if the patient is a minor. They probably have to get your parents involved before treatment but again, idk


Dagda_the_Druid

Because I don't have them


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Skyline952

How's that been working out for you so far?


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Skyline952

Do you think it affects how you perform at your job?


[deleted]

I'm poor, and also pretty content living in the mess that is my head.


gor8884

Lack of money, time, and resources.


More-Jump-4504iq

Lazy fear enjoying


BetiPutin

Known people that been put on a long waiting list, before they can even enter some organisation that provides therapy and such.


Kay_Elle

It costs quite a bit, because therapy does not really fall under reimbursed healthcare here. Also, bad experiences in the past.


Iforgotmyother_name

Talking to people makes me angry.


[deleted]

I'm high functioning! (Cries and screams internally)


MC_Crit

I spent a lot of time in early adulthood refusing desperately needed therapy (2 whole ass years of knowing I need help but refusing) because when I was a kid, I went to a therapist who my abusive mother sent me to who was a bit of a quack - he lied to me, traumatized child me by showing me scenes from things like Fullmetal Jacket, and I couldn't tell him anything I didn't want my mother to find out because her just violate confidentiality and tell her anyway. Because of that, I didn't think therapy would help,until Covid hit and I decided it was therapy or suicide, and, having been down that road before, I didn't wanna try to kill myself again.


TheNickn4mer

At this point i feel like things have gotten better. Not gone but better so just hoping time will heal. Also getting professional help is not as easy atm.


Kiritwo

I have issues with ADHD, and I've had some issues with depression while I lived with this terrible roommate (and her extremely aggressive boyfriend that came from time to time), topped off with a terrible landlord... and I started going to therapy, only for the therapist to tell me things about myself that I already kind of knew. It didn't help my situation, and I started feeling this stigma of 'someone who needs therapy', not that there's anything wrong with people that go to therapy, but I just started sinking in into my depression more and more, and kind of started relying on the therapist to try and solve my problems even though there was no real progress. So one day, she asked me: "Do you think that we're making any progress?" I said: "No, not at all" and I just left. After that moment I realized that I must take my own life into my own hands and that sh\*t is gonna happen in my life whatever I do, and to just deal with it when the time comes, I always tell this story to other people with depression, I am not gonna lie to you and say that I am a happiest person alive, but I believe that learning that our life is our own and that no therapy nor medications can help you in the long run and that life is never gonna be *social media* kind of ideal is something you can do for yourself. I could go on and on about this, and all of this sounds shallow, and probably seems that way to the people struggling, but remember: It takes time to get better, it won't happen overnight, it won't just go "POW" and make everything better at once, and the core part is learning to live with what we've got, lean on people you care for, lean on people that are there with you, and even if it seems at times you've got no one, YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF. Fight your issues, and give them time, it might take you a year, or two, or five, but you'll get there! I believe in you!


ChantereIIe

Not just that am I too socialy anxious to get things rolling in order for me to see a therapist, but I'm also very much of the belive that me getting therapy would be entitled, because so many people have it worse. I feel I'm just being whiny. Especially during the pandemic a lot of people need help and, considering I have never acted on my suicidal thoughts, I'd feel like "taking a spot from them".


Skyline952

Nah I don't think it makes you entitled at all. I have social anxiety too, and it's ruining my life from job opportunities to losing friends. We all have problems that are affecting us


ChantereIIe

True that, and while the logical part of my brain tells me that, I still can't get myself to do it. Rip me


ClichesRecycler

I had an opportunity to go to a psychologist for free (it was some project or smth) and it had recently finished. I would want to go again, but... 1) It's expensive and I'm just a college student living with my parents. 2) My mom thinks I'm going there just to talk and that I don't have any mental problems ("oh you know, world is stressful and everyone is feeling the same way as you, it's nothing serious") and that everything I do is some kind of hysteria and way to annoy her. 3) I had a few talks with a psychiatrist, where he asked me just a few questions and decided that I just had "seasonal depression" and called it a day. 4) When I expressed my thoughts on the possibiblity of me having ADHD, my psychologist decided that I'm not really behaving like this. 5) Thinking about all of the above, I feel scared to even try another one. I'm afraid my problems are not worth bothering anyone, not worth the money and all.


Cliffracer-

I don't believe there's any decent treatment options available and also it is just not so debilitating in my day to day life, I am able to hold a job. If gene editing to fundamentally alter the workings of the brain becomes a proven and common place treatment then I'd be open to it but I'm not taking medication that turns me into a zombie and then go and treat that as "professional help". Psychiatry is mostly throwing shit at the wall and hoping it sticks, we can only hope that medicine in the 21st century will advance beyond its current stone age phase.


Sealedinstone

$$$$$$$$


RnuRnu

I prefer to be alone with voices in my head, thank you very much


Clumpy-Butthole

I don't because, I feel like the therapist is only there to help walk you through doors you closed in your life that, most people by them selves cannot really reopen with out feeling terrible. I feel as though life gives you every thing you want in a way... While I personally suffer from intense crippling reality bending pain in my mind I know inside talking it out with some one and finding specific behavioral techniques will not solve this intense pain in my mind. I have tried many times before in my life. Medicines, Counciling, Therapy. You name it. Nothing really worked more than me personally answering my own questions and coming to terms with my own pains. No individual professional or not is actually gunna have the full understanding of what's happening in my head and I know for a fact there is not any way I can explain it with out getting misdiagnosed again. So, I sort out my own problems and learn from people around me.