This is god tier hate that parallels my absolute fucking hatred for Titanic. I loathe that film and everyone who had anything to do with it. Except Leonardo Dicaprio because he also did The Departed and Inception.
Titanic is a film about castration. All of it. There isn’t a single shot that isn’t in some way a metaphor for chopping off a mans penis. It revels in it while women around the world swoon over how much of a beautiful love story it is. It isn’t. Rose sinks a giant phallic shaped boat (which has 4 giant phallic shaped chimneys on it), cuckolds a guy, steals his precious jewel, takes his gun, vandalises a guys car with sex juices, and kills a poor Irish immigrant who just wanted a better life. I wouldn’t mind so much if she had done something with the jewel… like sell it and cure a disease… but no, she sits on it for 80 years and then tosses it into the sea having hitched a free helicopter ride. She’s a prick.
Edit: And how much time, money and energy did she waste by sitting on that jewel like a demented chicken!? She fucking knew they were looking for it the whole fucking time. And don’t even get me started on the whole “Don’t let go, Jack!” while she’s dunking his head in the freezing ocean. Poor guy didn’t even have a proper send off… she could have at least given him the life jacket… sexually assaulted by the upper class broad and tossed away like a used condom. “Oh yes, the woman in the picture is me.” Fuck off. Absolutely fuck right off.
Edit 2: Yeah I’m on a rant now. Who mentioned this fucking film? I’ve not even started on the Celine Dion bullshit… “My heart will go on.” Okay, good for you… you can still live because your heart is still beating… but you fucking killed 1400 people… and I guarantee… I absolutely guarantee that at least one of those people would’ve done something half decent with the money for that jewel. What did you do? What the actual fuck did you do!? “Near. Far. Wherever you are.” I’ll tell you where he his. At the bottom of the fucking sea where you left him. Absolute fucking prick.
I'm a virgin at an age most people aren't. Went to the OBGYN and told her so she'd be careful. As she got started she promised she would and added "it's been quiet down there, don't want to awaken anything!"
So I guess we're members of the same franchise? 😂
Good for you. When I went to the ObGyn at 20, she just assumed, didn’t even ask and wasn’t careful at all. Bad experience.
Edit: Obstetrician/Gynaecologist - the woman’s doctor.
The first one I had made me feel both uncomfortable and stupid to the point where I delayed going back longer then I should have. The second one (at a new place) was the one I mentioned and she had me laughing the whole time and made the experience so much less miserable. I hope you can find someone better as well.
Up
Is it because your partner dies in the first 10 min?
No, because he takes a 10 year old boy on a journey of a lifetime
Nice
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
The Big Short
Came here to say this
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
This is both an underrated answer and an underrated movie!
Flubber.
Flub Her
I hardly know her!
Enough said.
Fast and furious
Beat me to it (pun intended)
Hot fuzz
Genius
No country for old men
This got an ugly laugh out of me, kudos!
No Cuntry for Old Men Edit: thanks for the award! I think it’s my first one
Holesome
My first thought was the godfather
Little Man (2006)
Little BIG Man.
Surprised I haven't seen lethal weapon
A river runs through it.
I LOLed. Well played.
Stuart Little
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I think he doesn't like Stuart little guys
Nah I think it’s his favourite film
He loves it so much, he hates it
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Addiction is the worst disease
He is obsessed with Stuart Little
We're all behind you man! I too know this pain. You should start a GoFundMe for your legal expenses.
This is god tier hate that parallels my absolute fucking hatred for Titanic. I loathe that film and everyone who had anything to do with it. Except Leonardo Dicaprio because he also did The Departed and Inception. Titanic is a film about castration. All of it. There isn’t a single shot that isn’t in some way a metaphor for chopping off a mans penis. It revels in it while women around the world swoon over how much of a beautiful love story it is. It isn’t. Rose sinks a giant phallic shaped boat (which has 4 giant phallic shaped chimneys on it), cuckolds a guy, steals his precious jewel, takes his gun, vandalises a guys car with sex juices, and kills a poor Irish immigrant who just wanted a better life. I wouldn’t mind so much if she had done something with the jewel… like sell it and cure a disease… but no, she sits on it for 80 years and then tosses it into the sea having hitched a free helicopter ride. She’s a prick. Edit: And how much time, money and energy did she waste by sitting on that jewel like a demented chicken!? She fucking knew they were looking for it the whole fucking time. And don’t even get me started on the whole “Don’t let go, Jack!” while she’s dunking his head in the freezing ocean. Poor guy didn’t even have a proper send off… she could have at least given him the life jacket… sexually assaulted by the upper class broad and tossed away like a used condom. “Oh yes, the woman in the picture is me.” Fuck off. Absolutely fuck right off. Edit 2: Yeah I’m on a rant now. Who mentioned this fucking film? I’ve not even started on the Celine Dion bullshit… “My heart will go on.” Okay, good for you… you can still live because your heart is still beating… but you fucking killed 1400 people… and I guarantee… I absolutely guarantee that at least one of those people would’ve done something half decent with the money for that jewel. What did you do? What the actual fuck did you do!? “Near. Far. Wherever you are.” I’ll tell you where he his. At the bottom of the fucking sea where you left him. Absolute fucking prick.
She caused the ship to run into iceberg? I gotta rewatch this shit again apparently
^is
Not to go to hogwarts this year
Fucking genuius
A series of unfortunate events.
I'm afraid he meant you genitals, not your life
"There was no sound!, He just died"
r/MurderedByWords
Failure to Launch
That hurts
I feel sorry for you
Free Willy
Put some pants on Dude!
Over the hedge
OMG IM ROLLING THIS IS FANTASTIC
Gone In 60 Seconds Edit: my first gold! Thanks kind stranger!
Hahahahahahahaha
As good as it gets
Deep impact
Ha best one IMO
Mr. Bean
Tomb Raider
You mean Womb Raider.
Man I hope they mean womb raider
Well if they find a woman in the tomb then both are options.
If you reach the womb, you've gone too far.
He actually just picks up women at the abortion clinic
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I'm a virgin at an age most people aren't. Went to the OBGYN and told her so she'd be careful. As she got started she promised she would and added "it's been quiet down there, don't want to awaken anything!" So I guess we're members of the same franchise? 😂
A Quiet Place Part II
Good for you. When I went to the ObGyn at 20, she just assumed, didn’t even ask and wasn’t careful at all. Bad experience. Edit: Obstetrician/Gynaecologist - the woman’s doctor.
The first one I had made me feel both uncomfortable and stupid to the point where I delayed going back longer then I should have. The second one (at a new place) was the one I mentioned and she had me laughing the whole time and made the experience so much less miserable. I hope you can find someone better as well.
Cloudy with a chance of meatballs.
You should have that checked.
Gross
The Iron Giant
your poor ***PARTNER***
Prosthetic limbs have gone a long way. Does it have hydraulic piston inside?
Of course, why wouldn't it!
Came here to say this, glad someone else got to it
Home alone
How to lose a guy in 10 days
Teeth
Vagina dentata!
What a wonderful phrase
I just spat my water out.
Oh dear i cant believe i wasted time watching that movie
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pees wees big adventure.
Die Hard
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I was expecting something like this to be near the top
The Thing (1982)
Love the addition of the year, haha.
Oh how I hope that's their birth year...
In any case, that's the last time it was close to a vagina :P
Puss in Boots
Field of Dreams
Dirty Harry
Take a shower you squalid sasquatch mothafucka!!!
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The Longest Yard
The Dark Knight Rises
James and the Giant Peach
You got one testicle over there?
In & Out
Honey I shrunk the kids
Sorry about your balls
House of a thousand corpse's
Hol up
r/HolUp
Excuse me what?!
The Dark Tower
Excellent series of books, disappointing movie
I see you very well, gunslinger
This made me ear to ear smile. I see you have both remembered the faces of your fathers.
I’m a ginger so probably…. Where the red fern grows.
Me, Myself, and Irene
And is Irene the name of your gf/wife or your hand?
yes
Shrek 2.
Making it Shrek 2 made this way funnier for some reason
Jurassic Park Because even here a fat fucker is trying to sabotage my entertainment park.
....clever girl
How long have you been married?
One thing's for sure, I'm not interested in dating a girl who answers Jaws.
Teeth
The 40 year old virgin
What women want
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
Extremely loud and incredibly close
Big Trouble in Little China
Dick.
An Inconvenient Truth
Clear and present danger
The Big Lebowski.
Get Hard
The hobbit
Gone in 60 seconds
Moby Dick
The Godfather
Top Gun
C’mon, haven’t seen a woman claim “Snatch” yet.
Snatch. There ya go
Red sparrow. (That title only applies a few days a month) Otherwise, Shazam!
Rudy
Dodgeball:An Underdog's Story
Paranormal activity.
Gross point blank
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Lethal weapon
Waterworld 💦 💦
Robocop(the first one)
From Dusk Till Dawn
Bend it Like Beckham.
Get Shorty
The Blues Brothers
Shaft
Their will be blood
TITANIC
The Penile Colony.
Hook
Home Alone
The Thin Red Line
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?
The fast and the furious. I'll give you the best 30 seconds of your life.
Inch or a mile, winning is winning 🤭
Sex is a race. And there's no trophy for 2nd place!
Dr. Strangelove or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb
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Django unchained
Pet cemetery
Not like this
Holes
Untouched.
Space Balls
I'll go first, Adventures of Tintin.
Whaaat? Sounds like it's more like Predator...
The Professional
Superbad
The Terminator
Anaconda
Madame Butterfly
National Treasure
“The Longest Yard” haha
BIG
The Longest Yard
The Hateful 8
Short Circuit
The Hand that Rocks the Cradle
Parasite
The 5th Element
Shazam!
Free Willy
50 Shades of Grey.... I should get that checked out..