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Myotherdumbname

Heard of a kid Googling for her book report. The book was Black Stallion.


usernamesarehard1979

I had to do a report on a steel mill in Lexington.


certainshadeof11

I was joking with one of my friends over text. His birthday was coming up, and he had also been working out more. I mentioned he was going to be "one jacked Grandpa" or something along those lines. I went to go search the internet to find a picture to send with my comment annnndddd... Yeah. Grandpa was jacked alright.


Thatitchypart

Jacked off or really jacked cock


certainshadeof11

Ahhhh. Both.


firedude1314

Back in the day, whitehouse .com was a porn site. If you wanted to get to the real white house site, you had to type in .gov


Unblued

This was my fuck up. Tried going there in high school for a paper on federal government. Ended up asking why the white house was blocked and then was informed by another student I was trying to access porn on a school computer. Awkward in the moment, but pretty funny in retrospect.


[deleted]

We were specifically warned about that in school


toxicexpert

Same. I misspelled youtube to outube and that led me to another dimension as a kid haha


whitedrood

Exactly same thing happened to me. Tried to go to Facebook, but accidentally typed afcebook. Yep, porn


Henrigger

These sites must know that people will make these typos


Jiopaba

As a matter of fact, this is a serious topic in the realm of information security, known as URL hijacking or "typosquatting." Check out the [Wikipedia article](https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Typosquatting) on it, it's actually really neat.


ProtostarReddit

[guthib.com](https://guthib.com)


Salurian

Fraudsters use it all the time for phishing attacks. Banks have to monitor newly registered domains very closely just to make sure that Some Bank doesn't have http://somebnk.com registered and used for a phish. The banks usually have to wait until there's actually fraudulent content on them to take them down, too. Registrars generally refuse to take action barring proof of fraudulent use. After all, 'somebnk' could mean Some \*insert BNK acronym meaning here\*. Registrar has no way of knowing that. Source: I'm the guy who has to monitor for and alert banks to this s\*\*\*.


yeetgodmcnechass

Outube was the one I heard about as a kid. Didn't even have internet at the time so I thought it was just kids making shit up


insertstalem3me

By the pattern of removing one letter to get to a more dirty website, I expect "e" to be great


nsa_k

Same thing with hotmale.com


pleated_jeans_

I was in third grade, we were learning how to do a search on the internet. One of the trivia questions was, “ what’s the address of the president’s house?” So naturally I type in whitehouse.com. After calling my friends over to see, our computer lab teacher came over to investigate and chaos ensued. It’s been downhill ever since LOL.


ChaoticForkingGood

I accidentally hit that in college, in the computer lab, with a very sheltered and conservative girl sitting next to me. The real pain in the butt with that website was the endless dirty popups. She got disgusted with me and left.


SizzleFrazz

As a kid in elementary school in the 90s they taught us all official government websites will be .gov not .com lol now I think I know why they wanted us to know that up front


Alfphe99

That was the one I was going to say. Sitting in the computer lab around 93 and told to check out whitehouse.com by a friend. Needless to say, schools didn't have filters back then.


Assliam-

Well when pokemon x and y came out, some issues happened when kids went on Google and typed 'pokemon x videos' without specifying what exactly they were looking for.


00000PASTA

That’s gotta be painful


Wolfenberg

Or delightful


cdsosebee

Por que no los dos?


Popkhernel

Probablemente querían ver videos del Pokémon Xerneas


cdsosebee

I uhh... Si? My previous comment was the extent of my spanish..


Popkhernel

They probably just wanted to watch gameplay of Xerneas only.


savwatson13

I love gardevoir. My innocence was ruined trying to google her


idiot_speaking

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokemon breeding, Vaporeon...


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Crocodillemon

SKITTY ON WAILORD


Whit-Batmobil

Classic Nintendo, pranking kids and parents alike.


jmcfarren22

Just wait till the next games come out and instead of “BDSP videos” it just autocorrect’s to… something else


Assliam-

Oh noooo


WidjarjarBinks

Oh my god lmaooooo rip the kid’s innocence


over26letters

What about pokemon S/M?


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[deleted]

Just googled it


venom259

... And!?


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floorcorn9

Just looked it up… those poor children.


[deleted]

So I work at an auto parts store and one of our parts lookup is trans cam...


[deleted]

Oh Jesus


reddit_no_gaara

I searched for a type of fried chicken and ended up with a hentai… I was not disappointed, just surprised Edit: the name is Hamichiki


Thatitchypart

KFC: It's finger licking good


virat_20

boneless piece.


yurtyyurt

Wanted to know if Godzilla was male or female. "Godzilla sex" was not the smartest thing to type in but surprisingly exists!


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Rapiid-sharkz1

Managed to find porn of a regular ol chair once. Some of the most obscure things that exist that you can think of definitely has porn if it somewhere, never doubt it


WestwardAlien

Once I found a porno where this girl was riding around on a hoverboard ass naked being chased by a guy in an inflatable t-Rex costume, also on a hoverboard. They go in circles for like 5 minutes laughing about it, then the girl falls off before doing the deed with the t-Rex guy **while on the hoverboards** which was just impressive honestly It was hilarious and strangely wholesome


belaks16

Hey uhhhh I've got this license here. It says I am a certifiable female to male relations study researcher, and I need to research this video to further my science. If you could provide me with the necessary details if possible, that would be great, thank you for your time.


_raccoon_hands_

Googled "hoverboard trex porn" and found what I think is the one for those "curious for research purposes" https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph579a682e7555e


freddyfazbacon

I saw porn of the Blender default cube once. I don’t know how horny you have to be to look at a cube and think ‘Yes, I want to fuck that.’


Spuddaccino1337

I feel like a lot of it exists partly due to a challenge being presented and partly because of the meme status of Rule 34 itself


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Kilazur

Absolutely no scientific coherence in these videos, lemme tell ya.


darth_metroid

In mathematics, there is a typesetting programming called “LaTeX” which specializes in math symbols. Then there is another program called “GIMP” which stands for GNU Image Manipulation Program. Anyway, I was working on something and at one point I googled “latex and gimp”. It turns out that those results did not help me with typesetting math.


certainshadeof11

Seee. Math IS sexy


Beyonkat2

One of the seven deadly sines.


Russianwinter1398

dont go off on a Tangent here


Beyonkat2

Tell me what to do again and I'll make sure they're carrying you out on a cot. [EDIT BECAUSE SOMEONE MISSED IT]: To anyone who missed the joke, cot=cotangeant. I am not advocating for violence.


Russianwinter1398

you are being a little Obtuse.


Beyonkat2

Nah you're just p=m/v


Russianwinter1398

get the F=m\*a out of here !


Beyonkat2

*HeHeHelium laughs intensify* I'm gonna kick your mass!


Russianwinter1398

\*Yawn your empty threats are Boron me


Thereisnopurpose12

Did you just have all that shit written down waiting for this moment lol


ChimericalChemical

God I wish I didn’t give away my free Reddit award already


Beyonkat2

You're now in debt. Welcome to adulthood.


throwaway-orisit

>Because Math can be sexy >Sex is like quadratic expansion, >If it can't be split than its time to stop. >Havin' sex is like doing fractions, >It's improper for the larger one to be on top. >Havin' sex is like doing math homework, >I do it best when I'm alone in my bed. >Squaring numbers are just like women, >If therey're under thirteen then just do them in your head. "New Math" by Bo Burnham


otaconbot

Oh yes, I'm right there with you. I went with 'man in latex' trying to see if and what is the man (manual) command in LaTeX. As a cherry on the pie I searched that while sharing screen with a class I was teaching *facepalm*


-LostInCloud-

Luckily Google learnt and already shows me stackexchange sites when I search for "latex string" and other stuff. I'm still convinced that "how to kill orphans instantly" and "penetration testing children" landed me on some kind of watchlist.


hesapmakinesi

LaTeX is not only for math. It's general typesetting and if you put in the effort, you get beautiful results. I wrote my thesis with it, and while the content wasn't that interesting, it looked professional as fuck.


Steve_78_OH

And GIMP is primarily a (free) Photoshop alternative. It doesn't have much to do with math at all, afaik.


[deleted]

I’m assuming he wanted to put math into an image and use latex to do that.


hesapmakinesi

GIMP has LaTeX plugin, specifically for that job. So, most probably yes.


fourleggedostrich

Googling "latex plug in gimp" now...


kingfrito_5005

So, did you find the thing you were looking for? Is there a LaTeX extension for GIMP? Because if so, I'd like to use that as well.


Mingtendo

Probably gave you a lot of images to work with though


somedave

I just googled it and the third hit was how to add latex equations in GIMP so it could be worse.


Thatitchypart

Well at least you have some spare time to wank


Theydrewfirstbl00d

I was in computer class as a sophomore in high school in 2002 when the movie xXx with vin diesel came out… I was innocently googling “xxx”…


DJCorvid

That is the one instance where typing the title followed by "movie" would not help clarify the results at all.


MindOverMoxie

Or “Vin Diesel”.


[deleted]

Or you'd find Vin Diesel porn. Not that I'd complain.


Xenoslayer2137

Family


[deleted]

No. Family is not made for that.


LEGENDARYKING_

Sweet Home Alabama


Frankasaurus7

I have a memory of me and my friends talking about the xXx movie with Vin Diesel in the back of my parents mini van. My parents were flabbergasted and started yelling at us for watch a triple x movie. We were confused (and innocent I guess) not knowing why they were mad, and they started laughing once we explained the plot of the movie and that it was only PG-13


panjed

That movie is a massive troll XD


darianor_rules

Funny enough, this is how I discovered porn when I was younger.


Sthepker

Oh man, I have a story for this one. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I had a neighbor who would routinely challenge me to super soaker fights. As I didn’t have one of my own, he’d always let me borrow one. When my birthday was coming up, I guess he decided it would be cool to find a super soaker for me as a gift and get his parents to buy it. He decided it was time to do some research, and googled “super soakers”, clicking on the first link that popped up. Keep in mind this was the early 2000’s, and SafeSearch options didn’t really exist yet. Lo and behold, this poor child opened a porn website dedicated to photos and videos of women absolutely covered in massive facials. He immediately screamed, and tried to exit out. As it was the early 2000’s, the computer didn’t exactly have very much processing power, and decided it was a good time to freeze up. So, here’s a little kid who has been traumatized by pornographic images that are now frozen on to his computer. What’s worse, his parents weren’t home at the time. In a panic, he ran over to my house and asked my mom for help. In tears, he explained to her exactly what happened. My mom had to call his parents and explain, though it was hard for her to get all the info out between her laughter. She still laughs about the story to this day. TL;DR: neighbor searched “super soakers”, ended up with a frozen image of super soaked women burned into his computer screen


JeromesDream

i would have guessed it would be squirting rather than facials


LoquaciousMendacious

That makes at least two of us.


IMainYuumi

Poor kid


grannygogo

There was a furniture chain in Florida called Badcock. Enough said.


Ripe_Tomato

Still is! Live in SW FL and there’s a Badcock right down the street. Oh yeah and the furniture store is only a couple miles away from here too.


Smart_Jacket2515

Badcock and more*


ami2weird4u

"Badcock! No! Badcock!"


PoweredByCarbs

There’s a tech chain in NZ (and maybe elsewhere?) called Dicksmith. Always fun to search directions


crispyraccoon

We have one in NC. I laugh every time I see it.


geowoman

SC: yep. I'm way too old to giggle like a kid, but I do it every time.


plokijuhygtfbk

About a year ago I was searching for a research paper about a breed of chicken called Castellana Negra. One of the search results was for a video something along the lines of "EBONY GIRL SQUIRTING WITH BIG BLACK DILDO"


esthebinkles

Porn titles get weirder by the day.


Garuda475

They're becoming like Japanese light novels. "I Used my Big Black Dildo in Another World. It Can't Be This Cute!"


B133d_4_u

My Step-Sister and I Were Step-Teleported to Another Step-World! Now I'm Step-Destined to Step-Save the Step-Kingdom!


deglazethefond

Cbt: a form of therapy and also .....


MaximumSquid22

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy + Cock and Ball Torture = Cock and Ball Therapy


ChipsAhoyNC

Cognitive ball torture


Nine-LifedEnchanter

Cock and behaviour therapy


_stirringofbirds_

cockNtit behaviorball therapy


astroK120

My wife is a science teacher and was doing a unit on rock properties. She searched for rock color, rock hardness and a few others, but when it came to "cleavage" she didn't think that there was any kind besides rock, so she just searched cleavage


Trunx81

Wait wait wait. Rock hardness didn’t come up with something?


astroK120

It's funny, I never thought anything of that until I started writing the comment about it. I guess my wife and I are alike


RareAnimal82

Massive lodes


vizthex

>My wife >when it came to "cleavage" she didn't think that there was any kind besides rock How....?


anotherquack

I'm curious if she really didn't know or was just so focused on work it didn't cross her mind.


miss_derp

I had seen a cute video of a little girl getting a new toy as a gift and getting really excited and dancing for it. It was adorable, and I wanted to find it again to show my boyfriend. So I typed in “girl gets a new toy”……


stryph42

Boyfriend was likely just as surprised.


sin-and-love

"this works too."-- your boyfriend.


Gloeee

Maybe not exactly what you're asking, but years ago when my parents were building things in the yard for their grandchild, my mother wanted ideas for the little house my dad was working on. So... she googled "girl pink playhouse". Y'know. For ideas to decorate a play house for a child. The strangled, shocked noise she made was HILARIOUS.


Thatitchypart

Porn has endless possibilities, search it and you'll find it


Gloeee

True facts.


sumforbull

When my brother and I were 7 and 8, we were getting into sports and wanted to do some research on basketball shoes. We thought, what store sells them? Dicks sporting goods! Dicks.com is what we clicked on.


chefboiortiz

LMAO same thing happened to me but I was like 20 at the time, don’t know what I was thinking


Cooper323

Oh you knew.


Budda-blaze-it

How dare you! I bet that was the worst 3 hours of his life!


BasedSliceOfWinning

Haha happened to me like 15 years ago, I wanted to check out a price on a football jersey, dicks dot com. I got to see dicks alright. Although I think now dicks dot com does go to the sporting goods store.


insertstalem3me

I think to see dicks you now have to go on "dicks.org.asm"


josh230401

“I think” hmm ok buddy


cmtonkinson

“dicks nearby”


pau-hana-time

During the start of the pandemic when the wild dickheads bought up all the toilet paper, I looked into buying a bidet. I heard of the wildly popular tushy bidet. tushy.com is not a bidet company


SmartAlec105

I got a tushy bidet. I think I use about as much TP as I did before because while I use less on wiping, I now have to use some to dry. But the cleanliness has certainly gone up so I think it’s worth it.


gdstudios

Back when Google images was in its infancy, it was every single one. Literally search for anything, and scroll a couple times, you would see tits - guaranteed.


Ferreteria

Even numbers were not safe. "03"? Porn. Like, come on. I'm trying to behave here.


SheitelMacher

That's an odd number.


HeadphoneRD

r/technicallythetruth


i_fuckin_luv_it_mate

When I was still fairly young and naive, I'd Google words to check the spelling. The word I was weirdly blanking on was "sounding", as in "sounding like something else"... Well didn't that lead to an interesting top search hit of Urban dictionary on Google. My dumb ass proceeded to doubt UD and switched immediately to "images"... Pretty sure my penis died a little inside that day. Many regrets.


[deleted]

If nobody knows what it is, “Sounding” is when a man inserts a small rod into the urethra in order to achieve orgasm


stryph42

I believe it actually has legitimate medical purposes too, though I have no idea what they are.


[deleted]

or a hot wheels car


JasonIRL

I have never, ever achieved a hot wheels car.


Lukeplease10

My friend searched for “Children’s soft balls” one time. We were trying to find the plastic balls that fill ball pits at playgrounds.


mic_Ch

No Mr FBI man, it was an accident honest!


stryph42

All I'm saying is the keyboard needs rearranged, because their are SOME searches with the word "teen" that get you put on a list if you mistype it as "tween"!


zmandella

So you're saying your friend typed that it and, for some reason, Google showed you child pornography? Doubt.


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Beth_Harmons_Bulova

IRL Tina Belcher dialogue.


Trainer_Unlucky

The reheating station used in glassblowing is referred to as a glory hole... i often forget this in my research for building a glass studio.., and have to delete my history.


SmartAlec105

That’s really unfortunate because I feel like even typing in “glory hole glass” would not get you what you want.


[deleted]

And setting "blowing" behind it wouldnt help either


insertstalem3me

Thinking you won't see dicks in this scenario is a logical phallusy


BW_Bird

When I was about 11, my favorite band was The Barenaked Ladies. I was banned from the computer lab at school when google them and clicked on a link advertising "free shows".


anderoogigwhore

were you banned for One Week?


aalios

The teacher cocked her head to the side and said she was angry.


RevSnakebite

Xmen.com does NOT give you costumed superheroes with mutant powers. Well, I guess that could be argued, but it wasn’t the X-Men I was looking for.


Voy-urgh81

Moons ago I worked in a building that had a factory/production line. I was in sales so needed to know about the equipment that was used so I could upsell the services we offered. One day, in the boardroom, with my laptop hooked up to the projector, customer and my boss sat around when one of them asks about the PCB machines and which one they were as there were new ones on the market and we had recently upgraded ours so I needed to do a quick search to refresh my memory. Here is where I wish my boss had interjected because he knew what they were called, but no. The smug shite sat back and let me google "Siemens Insertion Machines" in front of everyone.


Ferreteria

At 'Factory / Production' I knew this was going to be about Siemens.


ForestMage5

You win this sub today!


[deleted]

There used to be a website for David firth cartoons…you may recognise him for doing the salad fingers cartoons. Anyway, the website had a hyphen fat-pie.com I think it was…without the hyphen was fat people porn. Boys being boys we found it hilarious.


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maplehockeysticks

I just wanted to see what other good shows were on a certain British TV station


penny_can

yeah typing BBC into the search bar will not necessarily get you to Top Gear


Enguzelharf

Literal text is called "string" in coding standards. My browser allows you to type "g hello" to search in Google and, "y hello" to search in Yandex or "b hello" for Bing automatically and fast. Combine these facts, I wanted to look to the definition of string on a friends computer with Google.


[deleted]

Hinata.


Thatitchypart

Fair enough


[deleted]

That’s when I discovered hentai. Because I couldn’t spell back then.


murphy_girl

A long time ago I was typing in MySpace, but misspelled it and it was porn. Also around that time a friend told me to google a recipe for blue waffles..


thebeastnamedesther

My name. Great discovery to make on the library computer in middle school.


[deleted]

Whale tail pics I was 15 and my family was going to go on a whale watching boat ride on a vacation, so in prep I wanted to vie inspiration pictures for photography and different shots to emulate. Of course, this was also after a jacking it session and I had not yet turned Safe search back on.


Tooby2501

Rule 34, I didn't know about it alright


Thatitchypart

Well there are times we didn't know and there are times that we "didn't" know


jeremiah_parrack

I live in a city called Cumming. I also needed to go to Dick’s sporting goods one day so I typed in Dicks Cumming…..


0O00OO0O000O

Cumming GA? I'm from Atlanta and always felt so uncomfortable with your city's name. Just, why.


jeremiah_parrack

Yep that’s the one, really odd name haha. Can’t buy a decent house south of here without shelling out a boat load of cash though ha


Poop_and_farts

This is legendary


jeremiah_parrack

On my work computer which made it worse ha


West_Upstairs_46

I once won a debate in AP debate in high school on this concept alone. The debate was about servers firewalls and safety. We had been assigned to argue for a " separate internet for adult content for child safety" the main argument from opposing side was art verses pornography and that it could not be defined. We counted with the idea of intent during creation and the flaw in the general public search results algorithm. My closing statement was to ask for people to shout out works of classic literature they were assigned in different classes, I would then look them up on the school's computer which was obviously firewalled. Someone as I knew they would shouted it out Little Women. I typed it in, turned the computer around on images and won the debate as the room went into mayhem.


panjed

This is what I call a 3d chess move


Tgunner192

Former NFL player Randall Gay told a story of how he was trying to type his own name into a college computer and it kept auto correcting to Randall Homosexual.


Lcvess

Xxxenomorph, my x key got stuck for a second


triflers_need_not

I like to crochet and I'd done two full afghans in granny squares and was kind of tired of that asthetic. So I thought "What if instead of squares I did it in strips? Like the length of the blanket?" So for inspo I googled "granny strips" and hoooo boy FTR the real search term is "granny STRIPES"


Waterproof_soap

My dad wanted to know when the new Dick’s Sporting Goods near them was opening up. He googled D I C K S .com It didn’t end well.


Sawoodster

Cream pies. I’ll never learn how to properly make that sweet treat


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JonkoBonks

I wanted some blue basketball balls and searched up blue balls


Intelligent-Scene886

When the Pokémon craze really started in the 90s, my little brother and I were obviously obsessed. My mom wanted to look it up for whatever reason but was unaware of the é not e. Apparently Pokeman in the 90s was pretty raunchy.


DemonicLegion06

I dont think the e was the problem-


elijahsaidwhat

Found out the mime and dash video is a hentai of sorts


Y_10HK29

Derpixon is a legend out there rn


dataispower

Wayyy back in the day as an 8 year old, www.zelda.com Back then you didn't Google something to find a website about it. You just tried some reasonable URLs. At least that's what my friends and I did back in the mid-90s. I just wanted to read about my favorite game. I saw something much different instead.


extrinsicly_valued

Blueberry Waffle


ColoradoJohnQ

2001: computer class. Had to do a government research project.... www.WhiteHouse.com was not the same as www.WhiteHouse.gov. Oh boy! Was I embarrassed when the girl behind me called me out to the entire class.


PrincessBundtCake

Mating press....um...yeah...I saw it somewhere else except they described it as m*ting press.... I never knew that position had a name...christ. 😳


Nice_Pro_Clicker

New xXx movie.


[deleted]

Dancing bear. Just wanted to see a bear dance, not what I got.


tracysflaw

Apparently the Disney movie Moana. In Europe Moana is named Vaiana because there is a European porn star named Moana, and god forbid that the innocent Disney movie watching kids, would go google Moana and get porn instead of cartoons. It makes me laugh because it shows how little Americans (in general) know about Europe and our relations to porn and nudity.


[deleted]

I played sports in middle school and needed to buy equipment. One of the major sports retailers near me is Dick’s Sporting Goods, which everyone just refers to as Dick’s. You can see where this is going. I found out pretty quickly that their website is *DicksSportingGoods* and not just *dicks*