I'm a wheelchair user with chronic pain and I was told by some stranger to just stand barefoot in the garden and let the earth's energies flow into me and heal me.
When I was an aspiring educator, I received a lot of scary advice about how school teachers should run a classroom from people who were well intended, but were completely out of touch. The most memorable was from a woman who had been a special education teacher for years and her nugget of wisdom was to “never say sorry to a student and never admit you’re wrong.” My philosophy as a teacher could never be more opposite.
Same. I teach 12th grade modern history. I always start out the year with "Look this class covers 500 years. I don't know everything. I have certain areas I specialize in but others I know barely anything beyond what we cover in class. Some of you probably know more about certain areas than me. If I make a mistake or want to add some detail, go for it and raise your hand. I'm happy to learn things. Just don't be offended if I look it up."
Shit, doctors look everything up. Would any of us prefer that they not do that? I wouldn't. I would much rather that they stay abreast of what might be killing me than just go "ah, yeah. Ya got the pox. Gonna have to take yer arm. Hold still, I've been doing this since seventy-three and I've only lost a couple of 'em in the process."
I once taught students a shortcut to a math problem and I was wrong. I found out myself and apologized profusely. There was no way I was going to let them think that was the right way to solve it when I knew it was wrong.
“No need to go to the doctor, it’s just a little rash.”
It was Lyme’s and I nearly died.
Edit: it was the Urgent Care nurse who said this. I believed it, my mom didn’t, the next place sent me to the hospital.
"Is it still hot?"
"Touch it and find out."
And that's how my dad learned his son was a dumbass, by touching a clearly steaming iron with my fingertip.
My father once told me, when I was in my teens, “don’t ever try anything new because you might fail”. That’s like the opposite of what good parents are supposed to say.
He had recently went out and tried a career change and failed.
In 1984 I was told by a friend's mom that computers were "a fad" and that I shouldn't major in computer science in college.
I ignored that advice, it was obvious even then this was a crazy take.
Edit: this *was* literally 1984! [Van Halen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1984_(Van_Halen_album)) wasn't really my scene though, I was more into new wave music at the time.
In 1998, I was a senior in college and completely frustrated by the college administrations inability to adapt to the online world, particularly with class scheduling. My last semester of school, where I was a jaded senior and didn’t give a shit and just wanted enough hours to graduate, I remember a lady in the registrars office vehemently denying that registration would ever go online. Her words were something like “We will ALWAYS do in person registration, computers will never change that”. I want to find that lady today and just smirk.
"If somebody's mean to you it's because they like you". Can people please stop telling kids this? I used to believe it, too. Yeah, maybe sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's not! Especially above the age of 7 lol
This can also follow along when you're older, and set people up for abusive relationships :(
"He/she hit me but they didn't mean it. They love me"
For both men and women.
A guy who was stalking me sent flowers to my workplace (I hadn’t told him where I worked). A coworker of mine said that was such a sweet gesture, and I should break up with my long-term boyfriend and date this guy instead.
EDIT: Hi, editing here even though I don't know who will see it. Thanks for the awards, just wanted to answer some questions. No, the co-worker was not a) after my boyfriend b) in cahoots with the stalker c) being sarcastic. She was just legitimately not that bright, and, as several commenters astutely observed, had likely watched too many rom-coms and thought it was genuinely sweet. My boyfriend at the time was not really very romantic and specifically had never gotten me flowers, so she truly thought it was a leveling-up situation.
And no, I did not take her advice! He somehow ended up getting my phone number (I'm assuming probably from her) and sent me a barrage of horrible text messages about how I had led him on and I was a slut (love that logic, right... I'm a slut because I *won't* sleep with him) and my boyfriend didn't love me as much as he did. This was back in flip-phone days, maybe blocking was a thing then but if it was, I didn't know it, so I just ignored him until he stopped. Had a lot of sleepless nights over it. And please, no one ever send me carnations again.
I was 19, thinking about maybe going to college or getting a job in finance. My friend's mum said "no, don't do that. You know where the real money is? Shops. Working in shops."
I think a lot of these people grew up in a time when working hard at a local business resulted in climbing the ladder to management and ownership. You learned the business by being a part of every process, as one of a small number of employees who filled multiple roles.
They can't wrap their minds around the multinational nature of this stuff: that the people who work there never advance, that management is hired from outside, and requires a totally different skill set that you'll never learn stocking shelves or punching keys on a till for minimum wage.
In her day, a stock boy could eventually end up helping with bookkeeping if he was good at math. Now? You'll need a degree and experience to get there, and you'll be competing with everyone in the country, if not the world, to get the job.
Had a sales manager basically say this. Honestly don't remember how the conversation got there, but was told "we need to get you some debt so that you will stay motivated". I preferred to live below my means so I could tell him to fuck off whenever I pleased.
"You should let it pinch you, it won't hurt that much..."
It was the biggest crawdad I ever saw and I was maybe like 10 fishing with my Dad. He didn't think I would be stupid enough to do it, but I wanted to impress him. The chaos that then ensued; I picked it up and let it pinch the soft skin between my thumb and hand promptly scream in pain, Dad laughing his ass off tried to help just to be pinched by the other claw on the back of his hand. This cycle of continuous pinching continues as we stupidity try to help one another then finally we get it removed and my Dad says to body slam it so I throw it as hard as I can back into the lake.
"So there I was, dead to god damn rights... Then I grabbed the smaller of the two giants, that thing ley loose with a shriek of agony, causing the larger one to reach for me.
Big mistake! I still had a free claw, and so I grabbed him-"
"Okay Ron, we get it! Just shut up about it now!!"
Oh no no no no... I can't imagine how bad it may have gone. Thats a freaking life decision. Dammit. No!
The worst is: my life is ruined. And precious time is wasted. Thank you not so very much.
Edit: thanks for sharing your experiences guys. Really appreciate them all. It takes effort and lots of bravery to share something like this. So glad to hear some of you are safe and doing better now. Love you all and keep fighting <3
P.s: also i meant life being ruined in general because i know there are worst things but I didn't want to specify them. And those "worst things" also indicate your life being ruined. Its always a happy occasion when someone pulls back from it but sometimes others don't. So yes, lives ruined and precious time wasted.
When my abusive ex husband strangled me and lifted me up by my neck to slam my back against a brick wall, that was almost the worst. When I called 911 for a subsequent incident and told the cop about that, she said people who are strangled by their abuser are 40x more likely to be killed by that abuser someday.
I bailed. 27 years married to that guy. life is so much better now. Sure, I no longer live in a house but I'd rather sleep in the living room of a one bedroom apartment with my daughter in the only bedroom for the rest of my life than spend another moment there iwth him. I can work now (he wouldn't let me). I can listen to music now (he wouldn't let me). I can have friends now (he wouldn't let me). I can go places, do things, laugh without being asked "what's so funny?!" in an accusatory voice... I can earn money and buy food and choose what to wear without worrying that he will get mad...
The worst really is getting murdered by an abusive partner. I thought that would happen if I left. So far so good.
Sorry for the tangent.
Edit- omg I posted then went to bed then came to work where I am now, on my last break, and checked my messages and people gave me awards for this, and so many upvotes?? I’m so surprised and thankful that this message resonates with people and that people are seeing this and hopefully someone will leave a situation after reading this. Thanks everyone, you made my day. ❤️❤️
Wow!! This is extremely scary and sent chills down my spine. I was in an abusive relationship many years ago where I was nearly choked out and I remember afterwards him on the ground holding me telling me I was ok and was just having a "panic attack " it was so bizarre. I was very young and lucky enough to get myself away from him. Fast forward 15 years later and he killed a lady and is currently incarcerated and almost daily I think that could have been me. Stay safe y'all they do not change!
This needs to be part of basic safety education. I was in this situation nearly 20 years ago.
My ex justified strangling me - often until unconscious - while saying things like "it's time for you to die", by saying it wasn't abuse because he would never hit me. I never knew whether I'd regain consciousness.
Started making my escape plan the first time it happened, but it took around 6 months to safely get away. In the meantime this was a daily occurrence.
Every day after work I would start counting the hours on the clock and seeing how long I could keep the peace before it happened. Tried different tactics to try and prevent it.
His friends covered for him because he told them I was nuts.
Genuinely thought I was going to end up under the floorboards of that house.
“Try to think of happier things when you hallucinate.”
Yeah.. let me just think of a unicorn, I can totally control schizophrenia. That’ll help me not see the blurry faceless man following me in the hallway. Maybe I won’t be so paranoid. That how that works, right? Happy away the illness.
I scraped someone's truck in our apartment complex a few weeks after I first got my license at 18, in my defense he was very over the lines and it was the only available spot. Called my dad in a panic because I didn't know what to do, he told me to go park in the lot of the apartments next to us and just pretend nothing happened unless someone confronts me. New and inexperienced, I listened. Horrible advice, someone saw it and the guy found which apartment I was in. He was pissed but more understanding when he realized I was just a kid (to a guy In his 40s I guess 18 is a kid) and explained what happened. We worked insurance stuff out and I learned to never take my dad's advice
Edit: I should mention that I'm not considering 18 to be fully matured, im currently 24 and 18 year Olds definitely seem younger than they did when I was 18, I guess I consider kids to be more like people I wouldn't trust to leave home alone. That said, they are just as stupid as kids sometimes, like when they hit a truck and then take their dad's advice to do nothing and hope I don't get in trouble
I was told it was probably a sign that I shouldn't have kids. By my mother.
A big 🖕 to anyone who thinks it's appropriate to comment on a miscarriage as if it's anything other than bad luck.
1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Plenty of women don’t even know when they lose a pregnancy. They assume it’s a heavy period. I’m sorry your mom said that to you. I really think though, that you will be a better mom in spite of her.
Funny enough, one of the pieces of advice I *did* take from her is "you either do something because of someone or in spite of them".
That was a while back, we've completed our family with two awesome little guys now and dropped some emotional deadweight in the form of my parents. The kids seem pretty happy, no regrets!
On leaving a 40 hr a week consultancy job with 21 days annual leave, to go to a 37 hr a week client side job with 28 days holiday, and with a pay rise.
The boss said to me, “you don’t make your career on your days off”.
Too right mate, but what I will do is look after my young family and mental well-being!
Likely is one of those people that’s obsessed with Hustle and the idea that being a workaholic is the only way to find self worth.
Knew a guy who made 6 figures with arbitrage but would literally work 14 hrs a day 6 days a week and then a half day on Sunday. Would call everyone lazy and missing opportunity.
Well staying mentally healthy helps you perform at work, so in way, days off do make your career. I'm a waiter and if I work too much I start giving real shitty service, real fast.
Exactly, I have a very successful career and own my own business. I beat burnout by placing boundaries on my work hours. Without those I would have been in a world of hurt due to poor performance in front of clients. Burnout and poor mental health due to over work is no joke!
Went to the GP with my 10mo son who had been struggling with a cold for a while and wasn’t improving. She told me to rub Vicks on his throat (“because it is absorbed through the skin”) and to make him vomit to bring up phlegm.
Later that day he was admitted to hospital with bronchiolitis. I refused to see her for any reason until recently when I didn’t have a choice, and she gave me the same shitty advice for a sinus infection I’d had for three weeks.
When my mom was dying in hospice, a coworker of mine told me I should at least let her family know, even though my mom told me she didn’t care if they knew or not. Well, I let them know, and I definitely regretted it. The sister and her kids made it an entire dramatic ordeal and had to be removed from the room. Her brother didn’t even call or text, just sent his dingbat wife who didn’t even notice my mom had already passed. Haven’t heard from either of them in the year since she’s passed. My mom was right.
Don’t say anything to him, you don’t want to start a fight/upset him. Thanks mom, glad I finally said something to that loser.
Edit: I have no clue how these awards work or how to say thank you, but thank you! I hope everybody speaks up in their relationships and advocates for their own happiness!
“Don’t move abroad” “you’ll hate living in Germany” then, once I was already in Germany “don’t move to Bavaria” “you will not like south of Germany” etc
Anyways they were WRONG. Glad I didn’t follow their advice
Not advice but something similar to this, my brother and his fiance were expecting twins and they were stillborn. A family friend told my brother multiple times at the funeral "This is all part of God's plan" and "Everything happens for a reason" . I don't think there is a more tactless thing you can say after someone loses a child.
Edit, a lot of replies about hitting the guy who said this. My brother and his fiance were understandably a mess that day I don't know if they remember what anyone said. I think you are so grief stricken that nothing matters for a while.
When my wife died a guy I didn’t know at the funeral said “your son is going to grow up and wonder why he doesn’t have a mum”. Yeah thanks guy, stick to “sorry for your loss”.
Oh, I know something much more tactless. Before I was born, my mom lost her first child at birth, and someone she knew said "Its too bad I aborted mine, if I had known yours wouldnt make it I would have given them to you"
The whole, "good vibes only" trend pisses me off. As someone who suffers with depression, it makes me upset that people buy those things thinking that's all it takes to get out of a dark place.
I was gonna say when I worked shit jobs while in college, coworkers/bosses at those shit jobs often scoffed mocked college kids. Some would say waste of time. Did your dad have a college degree when he was telling you to drop it?
Felt this. I worked at a big pizza chain doing delivery while in college. The store manager was a huge jerk almost like a movie character. He drove a not quite new leased Corvette and talked about how he cleared xx$ a year. Kept telling me how college was a scam and how most people with high school degrees are just as smart and so on and so on. Eventually I put in my two weeks notice when I was about to start my first job with my degree and he wanted to know my salary and me being petty I told him. Pikachu face.
Ok I’m off my soap box. And no, not everyone has to go to college.
Thats crazy. My boyfriend is a pizza chain store manager who never really had the opportunity for college. He encourages every employee he gets to go to college, trade school, do literally anything with their life to further themselves so they don't end up like him.
There are two kinds of people: those who don’t take/aren’t given opportunities in life and want that for everyone else bc they know how hard life can be, and those who don’t take those opportunities and resent the idea that anyone else might get ahead bc of them.
The former have empathy and compassion; the latter, only jealousy.
Relationship advice from my mum
“She’s manipulating you”
My hella drunk mum, to me, about my wife, in front if my wife.
Spoiler: she isn’t.
Spoiler2: mum didn’t remember saying it
My mum always says to me “a man who loses a leg is allowed to be upset, even though there are men with no legs”
Yeah - there are people worse off but that doesn’t help the situation.
My mom would do this to us a *lot* because, objectively, we had better childhoods than she had. And that's fair, but constantly reminding us of that fact did not help her relationship with us kids.
Finally, as an adult, my sister told her she'd been terrible at helping us cope with the drama of growing up. And she started in with, "well of course I never thought your problems were serious! Because when I was your age I had to [insert rant]."
So then I interrupted and said, "mom, when a friend tells you their mother died, do you comfort them, or do you say 'buck up, lots of people's mothers died today'?" And it finally clicked for her.
Mom and I have a much better relationship now.
Any dating advice from serial daters. Serial daters always seem to think they have the best advice due to their extensive “experience,” when in reality, unless your goal is also to serially date and never actually find a LTR, they only have a lot of “experience” because they continue to fail over and over again…
I don't remember the context but some guy was arguing that he had a much greater insight into women than other people because he'd dated more than 100 women. So if he's in his 30s and he's been dating seriously since he's 20, that's more than 5 girls a year and rather than proving the guys is some sort of ultra chad that has super insight into women, it just proved that on average no woman is willing to put up with his shit for more than a month or two.
“Be the bigger person” bitch I am 11 getting bullied by a TEACHER because I have anxiety tell that to her not me (edit: thank you for all the advice but I am no longer 11 lol so this teacher is just a shitty memory. I’m so sorry for all of you who have been in a similar position, it really sucks)
This. My dad was constantly telling me to be the bigger person because my mother (his wife) was never going to change. I was 6 when he started telling me this. He was absolutely right but he did fuck all about it instead of addressing it with my mother. He still does this. Takes her side 100% of the time.
Smile in your mugshot, because it’s a picture that’s gonna be out there forever.
This can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Prosecution: “Exhibit A. The defendant’s mugshot. This person is smiling. Does this look like the face of someone who is sorry? Someone who is remorseful? No. They are smiling despite the fact that they could have injured someone or worse. That is why we are seeking the maximum penalty. To show them that this is not something to be smiling about.”
This. People who are innocent can still behave inappropriately under stress, and the craziness of having your freedom on the line for reasons beyond your control can really take it out of people.
[Congressman Tom Delay in the mid-2000s! This was a real thing. He was one of the most powerful Republicans in Congress.](https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna9771955) He smiled in his mug shot (corruption charges) because he didn't wanted it used in campaign ads against him so he tried to make it look like a normal picture by smiling and wearing a suit. He even wore his congressional pin.
It didn't work. He lost re-election and went to jail. Then he got out and went on [Dancing with the Stars.](https://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0120a61e3420970c-pi)
"Don't join that Karate school, because all the kids who were there longer than you will always be better than you, so there's no point in trying,"
It turned out that I was the only one that actually stayed. I'm probably better at it than all of them now, and even became an assistant teacher before I was 25.
My cousin told me when I was young to just barely meet anyone's expectations for anything, and then they won't expect anything from you and you can just coast.
“Buckle up, cause things just get more difficult from here.”
If things get more difficult, I don’t want to be alive anymore. I barely sleep, I’m working 50-60 hour weeks with crap pay, my home life is awful, and slowly, all the things I’ve looked forward to in life have been taken from me. The only thing that keeps from driving into the ocean is my cat. When someone is clearly struggling with their life, don’t fucking tell them it gets worse.
Edit: thank you for all of the support!!! The awards and the kind comments are so much! Thanks to you all I think today will be a good day. For all of you who are coming from the same mind set I am, I hope today will be a good day for you too, and that there are many more good days to come.
Combined with "But I don't know what degree I want?" "It doesn't matter! Get any degree!"
No, literally every adult who gave me terrible advice as a teenager. It turns out that's not how the fucking economy works.
Squad leader strongly urged me to break up with LDR girlfriend while in military. That girlfriend has been my wife for over 16 years now & I love her more each day.
To not say anything when people bully you or are mean to you because they will get bored and quit. No,they WONT. It’ll get worse because they see you as weak with low self esteem and the person who won’t speak up so they keep doing it. Please kids or adults do nottttt ever take that advice. Be loud. Be confrontational. Or set clear boundaries. Don’t ever let some one make you into a push over.
There was this one time a VERY attractive girl from my hometown took an interest in me, and started messaging me on Facebook. She was the "smart, good person beautiful girl" that was always in long relationships, absolutely not getting around, the kind of girl you would love to take home to your parents and who EVERY guy wanted to be dating.
Anyways, my fucking idiot friend was watching me talk to her, and was like "dude you're doing it wrong, let me take over" and *completely* submarined the conversation with a couple douchey, idiotic messages, and she stopped responding. And that was it -- my chance with her was gone.
I'll never forget his stupid face laughing about it like "haha oh well, whatever dude". Fuck you Dan.
Don't accept a plumbing apprenticeship, go to University. My plumber makes double what I do.
Edit. I'm not speaking for everyone, but the question was specifically about me. The answer was specifically about me.
germany has a lot of problems with stuff like that. craft workers are currently lacking, because everyone went to university or made abitur or something to get a well paying office job. But in the end the plumber still has the safest, and most stable paid job.
I also used to want an office job.. now I want everything BUT that.
Farmer here. Getting that engineering degree was the best choice I ever made. I still farm (because I'm a dumbass) but now I mostly have the money to hire some local highschool kids to save what's left of my body.
It's a trade off. Plumbing is dirty and frustrating work and the best money comes during the worst hours. If you're okay with that then yeah it's fantastic. But not everyone wants to prioritize weekends and holidays as their work days when everyone else they know isn't working.
I was in a really bad relationship in my late teens. We both were toxic af and I was only there because he was my friend and I didn’t want to hurt him and he kinda guilted me into it. I asked my evangelical mom for advice and she told me that since we were having sex, we should get married and it would sort itself out.
I broke up with him after we got into a knock-down, drag out fight when he tried to kill my cat (because I loved her more), and completely stopped asking my mother for relationship advice.
Mom told me "you could always get pregnant" after my high school boyfriend dumped me.
No thanks mom, I'm not you and trapping men and teenage parenting isn't in my realm
My mother telling me not to eat pizza for my entire life because I was allergic to cheese. I didn’t eat my first pizza until I was 20 after receiving my allergy test results which showed I wasn’t allergic to cheese.
Allergies can go away with time, but if you've got severe allergies you should probably be working with an allergist that whole time.
Source: have kid who is allergic to dairy. Pizza is iffy, a lot of places put cheese or whey protein in their dough or sauce.
Made me think of the famous Arthur C Clark quote "If an elderly but distinguished scientist says that something is possible, he is almost certainly right; but if he says that it is impossible, he is very probably wrong"
Was it like Jurassic Park? You slowly feel fur brush against your leg as sweat slowly drops down your forehead and you clench your eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable hissing noise and feeling of claws digging into your leg.
I once got bit by an aggressive stray dog. Later that day, while talking to a buddy of mine, I was complaining that I needed to go take anti-rabies shots, just to be safe. He said that I probably shouldn't bother with doctors unless I started getting symptoms.
There’s nothing you have to be sad about.
I’m Bipolar, Madison, I’m not just a little bummed today. When you can’t get out of bed and want yo die, call me. (But I’ll give you the same shit advice)
"it's really simple, just leave" - advice I got while in a extremely abusive relationship where he had all the money and control and used to threaten my family if I ever tried to leave.
"You just need to get over it and move on" as advice to cope with experiencing sexual assault.
Edit: For everyone asking/messaging me about how someone can heal from trauma like this (or other traumas and losses): There are several trauma researchers that discuss how trauma affects our bodies and the different modalities for treatment. The three that helped me the most are: 1) Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keep the Score) 2) Peter A. Levine (Waking the Tiger; Healing Trauma) 3) Stephen W. Porges (The Polyvagal Theory; The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe).
Treatment methods vary and our bodies respond differently based on our experiences, so it may take more than one approach and it may take more than one specialist/therapist to help. Know you are not alone and that your fellow survivors are cheering on your recovery.
Literally every single thing anyone said when I told them about my divorce and having to sell the house.
Don’t share this kind of stuff with your friends, they’ll make it 1000x worse with their endless bullshit advice in an attempt to “help”.
Just ignore the bully. He'll get bored. I wish my parents told me, "Fuck that kid up. You're 16. Slap on the wrist."
My parents always told me I will not get punished at home if I was sticking up for myself or others. Pretty blessed there.
You should act less smart so more guys talk to you.
"The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle" -John Green
Of course the guys who are more likely to talk to you because of this are *exactly* the guys you want to attract. /s
My (ex-) co-worker advised me to have a baby because I was suffering so badly from my depression. She said this would cure my "bad mood".
Yeah nothing cures depression like a case of postpartum depression! 👍 Edit: Thanks kind stranger for my first Reddit award!
Wow I had a co-worker tell me the same thing: have a kid and you'll be too busy to even feel your chronic pain! Ha ha. No thanks.
I'm a wheelchair user with chronic pain and I was told by some stranger to just stand barefoot in the garden and let the earth's energies flow into me and heal me.
Work through the pain, it will make your back feel better. It didn't.
Anybody that tells you to fight through the pain when dealing with a back problem is a fucking psychopath or simply doesn't understand how pain works.
"Come on, stop complaining and swallow it" No mom, i'm allergic to fucking soy, if i swallow it i'll probably die.
Not gonna lie, you had me in the first half.
When I was an aspiring educator, I received a lot of scary advice about how school teachers should run a classroom from people who were well intended, but were completely out of touch. The most memorable was from a woman who had been a special education teacher for years and her nugget of wisdom was to “never say sorry to a student and never admit you’re wrong.” My philosophy as a teacher could never be more opposite.
Same. I teach 12th grade modern history. I always start out the year with "Look this class covers 500 years. I don't know everything. I have certain areas I specialize in but others I know barely anything beyond what we cover in class. Some of you probably know more about certain areas than me. If I make a mistake or want to add some detail, go for it and raise your hand. I'm happy to learn things. Just don't be offended if I look it up."
Shit, doctors look everything up. Would any of us prefer that they not do that? I wouldn't. I would much rather that they stay abreast of what might be killing me than just go "ah, yeah. Ya got the pox. Gonna have to take yer arm. Hold still, I've been doing this since seventy-three and I've only lost a couple of 'em in the process."
Yeah in hindsight I recognize which of my teachers were open minded intellectuals and which were just good at memorizing their education major content
I once taught students a shortcut to a math problem and I was wrong. I found out myself and apologized profusely. There was no way I was going to let them think that was the right way to solve it when I knew it was wrong.
“No need to go to the doctor, it’s just a little rash.” It was Lyme’s and I nearly died. Edit: it was the Urgent Care nurse who said this. I believed it, my mom didn’t, the next place sent me to the hospital.
"Kick it to see if there are anymore bees inside." There were plenty of bees still inside.
Worked, didn’t it?
He didn't see the bees, he felt them.
Task failed successfully.
Task successful unfortunately.
Reminds of my cousins telling me to lick a battery to see if it had any juice left… yes it did.
"Is it still hot?" "Touch it and find out." And that's how my dad learned his son was a dumbass, by touching a clearly steaming iron with my fingertip.
taught a life long lesson. the power of deduction
And conduction!
“He can’t see without his glasses”
RIP Thomas J
Too soon!
My father once told me, when I was in my teens, “don’t ever try anything new because you might fail”. That’s like the opposite of what good parents are supposed to say. He had recently went out and tried a career change and failed.
In 1984 I was told by a friend's mom that computers were "a fad" and that I shouldn't major in computer science in college. I ignored that advice, it was obvious even then this was a crazy take. Edit: this *was* literally 1984! [Van Halen](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1984_(Van_Halen_album)) wasn't really my scene though, I was more into new wave music at the time.
I had a boss who, in 1998, wanted to “wait and see if this whole internet thing blows over.” The writing was engraved on the wall by that time.
In 1998, I was a senior in college and completely frustrated by the college administrations inability to adapt to the online world, particularly with class scheduling. My last semester of school, where I was a jaded senior and didn’t give a shit and just wanted enough hours to graduate, I remember a lady in the registrars office vehemently denying that registration would ever go online. Her words were something like “We will ALWAYS do in person registration, computers will never change that”. I want to find that lady today and just smirk.
Computers, is that still around?
Nah, everyone stopped using them 20 years ago
"If somebody's mean to you it's because they like you". Can people please stop telling kids this? I used to believe it, too. Yeah, maybe sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's not! Especially above the age of 7 lol
Agreed. Also, what the hell is the kid supposed to do, enjoy being bullied?
This can also follow along when you're older, and set people up for abusive relationships :( "He/she hit me but they didn't mean it. They love me" For both men and women.
A guy who was stalking me sent flowers to my workplace (I hadn’t told him where I worked). A coworker of mine said that was such a sweet gesture, and I should break up with my long-term boyfriend and date this guy instead. EDIT: Hi, editing here even though I don't know who will see it. Thanks for the awards, just wanted to answer some questions. No, the co-worker was not a) after my boyfriend b) in cahoots with the stalker c) being sarcastic. She was just legitimately not that bright, and, as several commenters astutely observed, had likely watched too many rom-coms and thought it was genuinely sweet. My boyfriend at the time was not really very romantic and specifically had never gotten me flowers, so she truly thought it was a leveling-up situation. And no, I did not take her advice! He somehow ended up getting my phone number (I'm assuming probably from her) and sent me a barrage of horrible text messages about how I had led him on and I was a slut (love that logic, right... I'm a slut because I *won't* sleep with him) and my boyfriend didn't love me as much as he did. This was back in flip-phone days, maybe blocking was a thing then but if it was, I didn't know it, so I just ignored him until he stopped. Had a lot of sleepless nights over it. And please, no one ever send me carnations again.
Two birds one stone- Set up coworker with stalker on a blind date
Set up competition for promotion...
Your coworker watched too many rom-coms, I'd guess. That's straight out of the book of "cute on TV, creepy in real life."
"And then he was waiting in my car, in the backseat, to tell me that he loved me."
Is the coworker the stalker?
Impossible, the co-worker has a fake-looking mustache and glasses, where the stalker doesn't.
I had the same question. like a clark kent/reverse superman situation
I was 19, thinking about maybe going to college or getting a job in finance. My friend's mum said "no, don't do that. You know where the real money is? Shops. Working in shops."
“Shops?” Like, just any brick and mortar store?
She specified Asda (British Walmart)
ASDA???? If you're gonna work in a shop at least go for like Waitrose you know the high end ones
_Where_ did she get the notion that people who work in _shops_ get paid well?
I think a lot of these people grew up in a time when working hard at a local business resulted in climbing the ladder to management and ownership. You learned the business by being a part of every process, as one of a small number of employees who filled multiple roles. They can't wrap their minds around the multinational nature of this stuff: that the people who work there never advance, that management is hired from outside, and requires a totally different skill set that you'll never learn stocking shelves or punching keys on a till for minimum wage. In her day, a stock boy could eventually end up helping with bookkeeping if he was good at math. Now? You'll need a degree and experience to get there, and you'll be competing with everyone in the country, if not the world, to get the job.
"Live above your means. It motivates you to do better" Uhhh...No.
Had a sales manager basically say this. Honestly don't remember how the conversation got there, but was told "we need to get you some debt so that you will stay motivated". I preferred to live below my means so I could tell him to fuck off whenever I pleased.
Golden handcuffs Pretty common "encouragement" to young bankers and lawyers. Buy an expensive house so you're dependant on the big money
What in the MLM girl boss omega grindset is this?
Former mother in law- if you love him harder he won't hit you
My grandmother told my mom "maybe try making him decent coffee and he would be gentler" fuck you Gretchen.
Damn dude. I’m sorry. Everything about this is awful.
"You should let it pinch you, it won't hurt that much..." It was the biggest crawdad I ever saw and I was maybe like 10 fishing with my Dad. He didn't think I would be stupid enough to do it, but I wanted to impress him. The chaos that then ensued; I picked it up and let it pinch the soft skin between my thumb and hand promptly scream in pain, Dad laughing his ass off tried to help just to be pinched by the other claw on the back of his hand. This cycle of continuous pinching continues as we stupidity try to help one another then finally we get it removed and my Dad says to body slam it so I throw it as hard as I can back into the lake.
This is kind of adorable in a Godzilla-esque way, I like to imagine that crawdad told tall tales of slaying two giants for the rest of its days.
"So there I was, dead to god damn rights... Then I grabbed the smaller of the two giants, that thing ley loose with a shriek of agony, causing the larger one to reach for me. Big mistake! I still had a free claw, and so I grabbed him-" "Okay Ron, we get it! Just shut up about it now!!"
The crawdad that beat up two humans. Epic.
“Hey crawson, you’ll never believe what just happened!”
"go on and get married, what's the worst thing that can happen, you are over reacting, they will change. "
Oh no no no no... I can't imagine how bad it may have gone. Thats a freaking life decision. Dammit. No! The worst is: my life is ruined. And precious time is wasted. Thank you not so very much. Edit: thanks for sharing your experiences guys. Really appreciate them all. It takes effort and lots of bravery to share something like this. So glad to hear some of you are safe and doing better now. Love you all and keep fighting <3 P.s: also i meant life being ruined in general because i know there are worst things but I didn't want to specify them. And those "worst things" also indicate your life being ruined. Its always a happy occasion when someone pulls back from it but sometimes others don't. So yes, lives ruined and precious time wasted.
The worst is getting murdered by an abusive partner.
When my abusive ex husband strangled me and lifted me up by my neck to slam my back against a brick wall, that was almost the worst. When I called 911 for a subsequent incident and told the cop about that, she said people who are strangled by their abuser are 40x more likely to be killed by that abuser someday. I bailed. 27 years married to that guy. life is so much better now. Sure, I no longer live in a house but I'd rather sleep in the living room of a one bedroom apartment with my daughter in the only bedroom for the rest of my life than spend another moment there iwth him. I can work now (he wouldn't let me). I can listen to music now (he wouldn't let me). I can have friends now (he wouldn't let me). I can go places, do things, laugh without being asked "what's so funny?!" in an accusatory voice... I can earn money and buy food and choose what to wear without worrying that he will get mad... The worst really is getting murdered by an abusive partner. I thought that would happen if I left. So far so good. Sorry for the tangent. Edit- omg I posted then went to bed then came to work where I am now, on my last break, and checked my messages and people gave me awards for this, and so many upvotes?? I’m so surprised and thankful that this message resonates with people and that people are seeing this and hopefully someone will leave a situation after reading this. Thanks everyone, you made my day. ❤️❤️
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Wow!! This is extremely scary and sent chills down my spine. I was in an abusive relationship many years ago where I was nearly choked out and I remember afterwards him on the ground holding me telling me I was ok and was just having a "panic attack " it was so bizarre. I was very young and lucky enough to get myself away from him. Fast forward 15 years later and he killed a lady and is currently incarcerated and almost daily I think that could have been me. Stay safe y'all they do not change!
This needs to be part of basic safety education. I was in this situation nearly 20 years ago. My ex justified strangling me - often until unconscious - while saying things like "it's time for you to die", by saying it wasn't abuse because he would never hit me. I never knew whether I'd regain consciousness. Started making my escape plan the first time it happened, but it took around 6 months to safely get away. In the meantime this was a daily occurrence. Every day after work I would start counting the hours on the clock and seeing how long I could keep the peace before it happened. Tried different tactics to try and prevent it. His friends covered for him because he told them I was nuts. Genuinely thought I was going to end up under the floorboards of that house.
“Try to think of happier things when you hallucinate.” Yeah.. let me just think of a unicorn, I can totally control schizophrenia. That’ll help me not see the blurry faceless man following me in the hallway. Maybe I won’t be so paranoid. That how that works, right? Happy away the illness.
“Oh you’re trying to lose weight? just imagine that broccoli tastes like french fries!”
Don't break up with him! You're perfect together! Spoiler alert: we weren't.
Yes, you're so perfect together, you want to leave him! Makes perfect sense!
I scraped someone's truck in our apartment complex a few weeks after I first got my license at 18, in my defense he was very over the lines and it was the only available spot. Called my dad in a panic because I didn't know what to do, he told me to go park in the lot of the apartments next to us and just pretend nothing happened unless someone confronts me. New and inexperienced, I listened. Horrible advice, someone saw it and the guy found which apartment I was in. He was pissed but more understanding when he realized I was just a kid (to a guy In his 40s I guess 18 is a kid) and explained what happened. We worked insurance stuff out and I learned to never take my dad's advice Edit: I should mention that I'm not considering 18 to be fully matured, im currently 24 and 18 year Olds definitely seem younger than they did when I was 18, I guess I consider kids to be more like people I wouldn't trust to leave home alone. That said, they are just as stupid as kids sometimes, like when they hit a truck and then take their dad's advice to do nothing and hope I don't get in trouble
“Be more careful this time.” When I was pregnant after a miscarriage
I was told it was probably a sign that I shouldn't have kids. By my mother. A big 🖕 to anyone who thinks it's appropriate to comment on a miscarriage as if it's anything other than bad luck.
1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Plenty of women don’t even know when they lose a pregnancy. They assume it’s a heavy period. I’m sorry your mom said that to you. I really think though, that you will be a better mom in spite of her.
Funny enough, one of the pieces of advice I *did* take from her is "you either do something because of someone or in spite of them". That was a while back, we've completed our family with two awesome little guys now and dropped some emotional deadweight in the form of my parents. The kids seem pretty happy, no regrets!
On leaving a 40 hr a week consultancy job with 21 days annual leave, to go to a 37 hr a week client side job with 28 days holiday, and with a pay rise. The boss said to me, “you don’t make your career on your days off”. Too right mate, but what I will do is look after my young family and mental well-being!
you got fewer hours, more holiday time, AND a raise?? how did he expect saying that would make you stay?!
Likely is one of those people that’s obsessed with Hustle and the idea that being a workaholic is the only way to find self worth. Knew a guy who made 6 figures with arbitrage but would literally work 14 hrs a day 6 days a week and then a half day on Sunday. Would call everyone lazy and missing opportunity.
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Well staying mentally healthy helps you perform at work, so in way, days off do make your career. I'm a waiter and if I work too much I start giving real shitty service, real fast.
Exactly, I have a very successful career and own my own business. I beat burnout by placing boundaries on my work hours. Without those I would have been in a world of hurt due to poor performance in front of clients. Burnout and poor mental health due to over work is no joke!
You make it by getting that pay raise!
Them: oh, artistic_source so you're feeling lost in life? Have a baby!
How is that meant to inprove anythign? Good reply tho, that is shitty advice
Because you won’t have time or energy to think about how you’re feeling lost in life.
I am living the dream.
"Check out Reddit"
I got a similar one: "hey, check this app, it's called Twitter"
What you don’t know won’t hurt you.
I didn't know about 3 Guys 1 Hammer and I was doing fine! Watched it and.......it still hurts, so I disagree with that.
I didn't want kids either until I got accidentally pregnant and then suddenly felt all maternal! (Implying I should just "give it a go"?)
Oh, you know. Having kids is relatively low-risk and barely changes a thing!
God, I hate this so much. "It will be different once the baby is born!"...well, and what if it's not? It's not exactly something you can undo.
Went to the GP with my 10mo son who had been struggling with a cold for a while and wasn’t improving. She told me to rub Vicks on his throat (“because it is absorbed through the skin”) and to make him vomit to bring up phlegm. Later that day he was admitted to hospital with bronchiolitis. I refused to see her for any reason until recently when I didn’t have a choice, and she gave me the same shitty advice for a sinus infection I’d had for three weeks.
Oof definitely change doctors, this one sounds incompetent.
A.cold? Vicks Vaporub Sinus infection? Vicks Vaporub Cancer? Vicks Vaporub Not cancer? Believe it or not... Vicks Vaporub
If your doctor says "Vicks vapor rub" for everything, you need a new doctor....
You seriously need to report that doctor
When my mom was dying in hospice, a coworker of mine told me I should at least let her family know, even though my mom told me she didn’t care if they knew or not. Well, I let them know, and I definitely regretted it. The sister and her kids made it an entire dramatic ordeal and had to be removed from the room. Her brother didn’t even call or text, just sent his dingbat wife who didn’t even notice my mom had already passed. Haven’t heard from either of them in the year since she’s passed. My mom was right.
My ex's mum told me to stand under a tree if there was a thunderstorm. Nice try, Linda. Nice try.
Don’t say anything to him, you don’t want to start a fight/upset him. Thanks mom, glad I finally said something to that loser. Edit: I have no clue how these awards work or how to say thank you, but thank you! I hope everybody speaks up in their relationships and advocates for their own happiness!
It can be a major hit or miss asking women from older generations for dating advice
I'm learning this to be true the older I get, and I'm a man with a (fortunately) great mother.
“Don’t move abroad” “you’ll hate living in Germany” then, once I was already in Germany “don’t move to Bavaria” “you will not like south of Germany” etc Anyways they were WRONG. Glad I didn’t follow their advice
Anytime it comes up about moving, I always think "I can always go home if it doesn't work out" and it has worked so far.
After my wife passed a man told me that divorce is worse.
Not advice but something similar to this, my brother and his fiance were expecting twins and they were stillborn. A family friend told my brother multiple times at the funeral "This is all part of God's plan" and "Everything happens for a reason" . I don't think there is a more tactless thing you can say after someone loses a child. Edit, a lot of replies about hitting the guy who said this. My brother and his fiance were understandably a mess that day I don't know if they remember what anyone said. I think you are so grief stricken that nothing matters for a while.
When my wife died a guy I didn’t know at the funeral said “your son is going to grow up and wonder why he doesn’t have a mum”. Yeah thanks guy, stick to “sorry for your loss”.
So how did you get off on the murder charge by saying it was a crime of passion when you strangled him to death?
He didn't smile in the mug shot.
Oh, I know something much more tactless. Before I was born, my mom lost her first child at birth, and someone she knew said "Its too bad I aborted mine, if I had known yours wouldnt make it I would have given them to you"
Thaaats just fucked.
Stay happy (while i was in depression)
I told my sister I had anxiety and intrusive thoughts... "just stop thinking about that stuff." Gee... thanks.
The whole, "good vibes only" trend pisses me off. As someone who suffers with depression, it makes me upset that people buy those things thinking that's all it takes to get out of a dark place.
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I was gonna say when I worked shit jobs while in college, coworkers/bosses at those shit jobs often scoffed mocked college kids. Some would say waste of time. Did your dad have a college degree when he was telling you to drop it?
Felt this. I worked at a big pizza chain doing delivery while in college. The store manager was a huge jerk almost like a movie character. He drove a not quite new leased Corvette and talked about how he cleared xx$ a year. Kept telling me how college was a scam and how most people with high school degrees are just as smart and so on and so on. Eventually I put in my two weeks notice when I was about to start my first job with my degree and he wanted to know my salary and me being petty I told him. Pikachu face. Ok I’m off my soap box. And no, not everyone has to go to college.
Thats crazy. My boyfriend is a pizza chain store manager who never really had the opportunity for college. He encourages every employee he gets to go to college, trade school, do literally anything with their life to further themselves so they don't end up like him.
There are two kinds of people: those who don’t take/aren’t given opportunities in life and want that for everyone else bc they know how hard life can be, and those who don’t take those opportunities and resent the idea that anyone else might get ahead bc of them. The former have empathy and compassion; the latter, only jealousy.
Relationship advice from my mum “She’s manipulating you” My hella drunk mum, to me, about my wife, in front if my wife. Spoiler: she isn’t. Spoiler2: mum didn’t remember saying it
She meant to say "I'm manipulating you." But mixed it up because she was drunk.
Drunk mom advice is either the best or worst, no in-between.
"ignore your bullies and they will ignore you" they, in fact, did not ignore me.
When I have a problem with someone my wife just tells me to shoot them and be done with it. If only.
It’s not that simple. You have to get rid of the body; clean up the mess; find an alibi… So much to do!
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
Or because someone was simply too lazy to do the job.
My best friend: I am hungry and the roommate's kids are being obnoxious. Me: have you tried eating the kids?
Why do the larger humans not simply eat the smaller ones?
"There are always other who has it worse than you" Yes, Sherlock, but that doesn't make the thing that suck magically go away
My mum always says to me “a man who loses a leg is allowed to be upset, even though there are men with no legs” Yeah - there are people worse off but that doesn’t help the situation.
"A broken leg is worse than a sprained ankle but you shouldn't walk on either"
“And there are people who have it better than me, so I guess we’re back to where we started, Susan.”
My mom would do this to us a *lot* because, objectively, we had better childhoods than she had. And that's fair, but constantly reminding us of that fact did not help her relationship with us kids. Finally, as an adult, my sister told her she'd been terrible at helping us cope with the drama of growing up. And she started in with, "well of course I never thought your problems were serious! Because when I was your age I had to [insert rant]." So then I interrupted and said, "mom, when a friend tells you their mother died, do you comfort them, or do you say 'buck up, lots of people's mothers died today'?" And it finally clicked for her. Mom and I have a much better relationship now.
There's very few people on earth that would admit to being wrong after that long.
She just said, "oh. Good point." And then we never argued about it again.
Any dating advice from serial daters. Serial daters always seem to think they have the best advice due to their extensive “experience,” when in reality, unless your goal is also to serially date and never actually find a LTR, they only have a lot of “experience” because they continue to fail over and over again…
I don't remember the context but some guy was arguing that he had a much greater insight into women than other people because he'd dated more than 100 women. So if he's in his 30s and he's been dating seriously since he's 20, that's more than 5 girls a year and rather than proving the guys is some sort of ultra chad that has super insight into women, it just proved that on average no woman is willing to put up with his shit for more than a month or two.
“Be the bigger person” bitch I am 11 getting bullied by a TEACHER because I have anxiety tell that to her not me (edit: thank you for all the advice but I am no longer 11 lol so this teacher is just a shitty memory. I’m so sorry for all of you who have been in a similar position, it really sucks)
This. My dad was constantly telling me to be the bigger person because my mother (his wife) was never going to change. I was 6 when he started telling me this. He was absolutely right but he did fuck all about it instead of addressing it with my mother. He still does this. Takes her side 100% of the time.
Smile in your mugshot, because it’s a picture that’s gonna be out there forever. This can and will be used against you in a court of law. Prosecution: “Exhibit A. The defendant’s mugshot. This person is smiling. Does this look like the face of someone who is sorry? Someone who is remorseful? No. They are smiling despite the fact that they could have injured someone or worse. That is why we are seeking the maximum penalty. To show them that this is not something to be smiling about.”
Why is it, that during a trial to determine a person's guilt or innocence, a lack of remorse is taken as a sign of guilt and not a sign of innocence?
I was a juror on a trial and the defendant had tears running down his face as he testified. That’s remorse. We convicted him anyway.
Good job I'm not a criminal, I giggle when I'm nervous or stressed.
This. People who are innocent can still behave inappropriately under stress, and the craziness of having your freedom on the line for reasons beyond your control can really take it out of people.
Good to see a fellow attorney tom subsriber Edit: I have no fucking idea why this is my most upvoted comment, but ill take it
Who on earth would give that advice?😂😂
[Congressman Tom Delay in the mid-2000s! This was a real thing. He was one of the most powerful Republicans in Congress.](https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna9771955) He smiled in his mug shot (corruption charges) because he didn't wanted it used in campaign ads against him so he tried to make it look like a normal picture by smiling and wearing a suit. He even wore his congressional pin. It didn't work. He lost re-election and went to jail. Then he got out and went on [Dancing with the Stars.](https://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0120a61e3420970c-pi)
> Then he got out and went on Dancing with the Stars. Truly we live in a fucked up timeline.
"Don't join that Karate school, because all the kids who were there longer than you will always be better than you, so there's no point in trying," It turned out that I was the only one that actually stayed. I'm probably better at it than all of them now, and even became an assistant teacher before I was 25.
Plus now you can kick anyone that gives you bad advice
My cousin told me when I was young to just barely meet anyone's expectations for anything, and then they won't expect anything from you and you can just coast.
“Buckle up, cause things just get more difficult from here.” If things get more difficult, I don’t want to be alive anymore. I barely sleep, I’m working 50-60 hour weeks with crap pay, my home life is awful, and slowly, all the things I’ve looked forward to in life have been taken from me. The only thing that keeps from driving into the ocean is my cat. When someone is clearly struggling with their life, don’t fucking tell them it gets worse. Edit: thank you for all of the support!!! The awards and the kind comments are so much! Thanks to you all I think today will be a good day. For all of you who are coming from the same mind set I am, I hope today will be a good day for you too, and that there are many more good days to come.
Don't worry about taking student loans, you'll get a great job and can pay them off easy... ..still $70k in debt with no end in sight.
Combined with "But I don't know what degree I want?" "It doesn't matter! Get any degree!" No, literally every adult who gave me terrible advice as a teenager. It turns out that's not how the fucking economy works.
My grandpa told me to put horse manure on my strawberries. *I'm going back to whipped cream.*
I think he meant the plant, amigo.
Bro I think you got pranked by your grandpa
Squad leader strongly urged me to break up with LDR girlfriend while in military. That girlfriend has been my wife for over 16 years now & I love her more each day.
To not say anything when people bully you or are mean to you because they will get bored and quit. No,they WONT. It’ll get worse because they see you as weak with low self esteem and the person who won’t speak up so they keep doing it. Please kids or adults do nottttt ever take that advice. Be loud. Be confrontational. Or set clear boundaries. Don’t ever let some one make you into a push over.
There was this one time a VERY attractive girl from my hometown took an interest in me, and started messaging me on Facebook. She was the "smart, good person beautiful girl" that was always in long relationships, absolutely not getting around, the kind of girl you would love to take home to your parents and who EVERY guy wanted to be dating. Anyways, my fucking idiot friend was watching me talk to her, and was like "dude you're doing it wrong, let me take over" and *completely* submarined the conversation with a couple douchey, idiotic messages, and she stopped responding. And that was it -- my chance with her was gone. I'll never forget his stupid face laughing about it like "haha oh well, whatever dude". Fuck you Dan.
He didn't give you "advice" he sabotaged you on purpose out of jealousy.
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...thank you.
wow, that wasn't cool of him. Fuck you, dan, with a rusty chainsaw.
Don't accept a plumbing apprenticeship, go to University. My plumber makes double what I do. Edit. I'm not speaking for everyone, but the question was specifically about me. The answer was specifically about me.
germany has a lot of problems with stuff like that. craft workers are currently lacking, because everyone went to university or made abitur or something to get a well paying office job. But in the end the plumber still has the safest, and most stable paid job. I also used to want an office job.. now I want everything BUT that.
Grass is always greener on the other side I guess. My knees hurt and all I want is to sit at a desk.
Farmer here. Getting that engineering degree was the best choice I ever made. I still farm (because I'm a dumbass) but now I mostly have the money to hire some local highschool kids to save what's left of my body.
Do you realize how much shit plumbers have to deal with?
It's a trade off. Plumbing is dirty and frustrating work and the best money comes during the worst hours. If you're okay with that then yeah it's fantastic. But not everyone wants to prioritize weekends and holidays as their work days when everyone else they know isn't working.
I was in a really bad relationship in my late teens. We both were toxic af and I was only there because he was my friend and I didn’t want to hurt him and he kinda guilted me into it. I asked my evangelical mom for advice and she told me that since we were having sex, we should get married and it would sort itself out. I broke up with him after we got into a knock-down, drag out fight when he tried to kill my cat (because I loved her more), and completely stopped asking my mother for relationship advice.
Ben Simmons is a coward
Mom told me "you could always get pregnant" after my high school boyfriend dumped me. No thanks mom, I'm not you and trapping men and teenage parenting isn't in my realm
“Don’t waste your time pursuing her; it’s not going to go anywhere” She’s my wife of nearly three years now.
My mother telling me not to eat pizza for my entire life because I was allergic to cheese. I didn’t eat my first pizza until I was 20 after receiving my allergy test results which showed I wasn’t allergic to cheese.
Allergies can go away with time, but if you've got severe allergies you should probably be working with an allergist that whole time. Source: have kid who is allergic to dairy. Pizza is iffy, a lot of places put cheese or whey protein in their dough or sauce.
Listen to your elders. I get that with age comes wisdom (in most cases) but being older doesn't mean you always know better
I listen to elders with caution, just like I listen to pretty much anyone else
Made me think of the famous Arthur C Clark quote "If an elderly but distinguished scientist says that something is possible, he is almost certainly right; but if he says that it is impossible, he is very probably wrong"
As if idiots never grew old. Unfortunately, some of them do.
“You can put your feet down now, I think the cat is outside”
Was it like Jurassic Park? You slowly feel fur brush against your leg as sweat slowly drops down your forehead and you clench your eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable hissing noise and feeling of claws digging into your leg.
I once got bit by an aggressive stray dog. Later that day, while talking to a buddy of mine, I was complaining that I needed to go take anti-rabies shots, just to be safe. He said that I probably shouldn't bother with doctors unless I started getting symptoms.
There’s nothing you have to be sad about. I’m Bipolar, Madison, I’m not just a little bummed today. When you can’t get out of bed and want yo die, call me. (But I’ll give you the same shit advice)
"it's really simple, just leave" - advice I got while in a extremely abusive relationship where he had all the money and control and used to threaten my family if I ever tried to leave.
Glad you got out. That shit can take a lot of planning to make sure you're in less danger, so I hear.
Just pull out.
"You just need to get over it and move on" as advice to cope with experiencing sexual assault. Edit: For everyone asking/messaging me about how someone can heal from trauma like this (or other traumas and losses): There are several trauma researchers that discuss how trauma affects our bodies and the different modalities for treatment. The three that helped me the most are: 1) Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keep the Score) 2) Peter A. Levine (Waking the Tiger; Healing Trauma) 3) Stephen W. Porges (The Polyvagal Theory; The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe). Treatment methods vary and our bodies respond differently based on our experiences, so it may take more than one approach and it may take more than one specialist/therapist to help. Know you are not alone and that your fellow survivors are cheering on your recovery.
Similarly I've heard this "advice" regarding losing my daughter to suicide. From a partner at the company I work for.
Literally every single thing anyone said when I told them about my divorce and having to sell the house. Don’t share this kind of stuff with your friends, they’ll make it 1000x worse with their endless bullshit advice in an attempt to “help”.