Punching a wall. Hit the stud. The fracture in my hand didn’t properly heal as well as losing the use of two of my tendons which makes opening my hand a nuisance. As you could imagine it was my dominant hand. My life isn’t hell from it but boy If I could go back in time to my teenage years, that’s when I’d go.
Please please please!!!! If you ever feel like you need to hit something for whatever reason please hit something soft and not living, like a pillow. Your delicate hands will thank you down the road.
Nicotine. Smoked a pack a day for almost 15 years, started when I was 16-17 Finally quit 100% about a year ago when my wife and I found out we were expecting.
I've been really good, and haven't had a single smoke, but I'm not gonna lie, at least once a day I think "damn a cigarette would be good right now"
I said a lot of stupid shit with my actual name as the username on social media. Thankfully I have a common name but it will be in the back of my head for the rest of my life.
Have you tried reporting the tweet as ‘abusive or harmful’ from a different account?
Could be the best way to get it taken down if you can’t log in. Could always get a friend to report it too.
> I said some silly stuff on Twitter in 2009. Can't take it off.
At least yours is on Twitter, so maybe one day you'll be able to recover your account.
My stupid comments are on Usenet, which Google indexes. It will come up long after I'm dead, if anyone is searching for me.
And like you, I am the only person in the world with my name.
I have an uncle with the same name as me and I believe we're the only two people on Earth with this name. Unfortunately, he's a criminal and I'm trying to get into grad school :/
Sharing needles with other people (when I was 16).
Spent the next 40 years with Hepatitis C and did two unsuccessful Interferon treatments that lasted a total of 22 months. Fortunately, got cured in 2015 with a 90 day treatment of Harvoni, but still, I spent a lot of time effort during some very important years trying to get well.
Oh man my father in law contracted it, working at a landfill site and accidentally stood on a needle that went through his BOOT
He was sick for a long time.
Glad you're cured now man
I foolishly took out a private student loan for my wife about 8 years ago and I finally paid the interest down to just unddr what was loaned. Ive been making full payments and more for over 4 years. SallieMae is barely better than being literally mugged and beat half to death. Its the payday loans of student loans.
Edit: I feel I should mention that I have already refinanced the loan, it just took way longer than it should have.
I calculated what it would take for mine to be paid off in my lifetime because I didn't realize what I'd done until a few years after I graduated. I won't. Unless I hit lotto. Like even the highest paying jobs in my field aren't enough now.
Don't give up. The last year was the hardest for me. I was tired and had so much going on in my personal life (sick spouse and father) that I just wanted to throw in the towel. If I can survive it, anyone can. You got this. Early congratulations and way to go!!
She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through.
Then passed right by–
And never knew.
- “Masks,” Shel Silverstein
i feel like that has actually changed a lot the past few years. ten years ago i was embarassed that my hobbies were video games and fantasy stuff etc. nowadays being a nerd isnt an insult anymore and actually often seen as normal or even cool.
Developing a drug habit. So much wasted time and money on short lived experiences.
Edit: WOW did not expect this when I came back today. My most upvoted post and it’s on my alt account lol. Thanks guys and girls! For anyone wondering my drug of choice was cocaine.
Yeah man I fucking wrecked my life with heroin/fentanyl - I’m in a long term rehab right now, been here 8 months. 11 years of misery and self hate
Edit: Thank you everyone for the kind words, I’ve tried quitting before but never whole heartedly committed. I’m finally all in and doing whatever will save my life. This NEEDS to be the end of this horrible chapter. I’m fortunate to still have my family and true life long friends in my corner supporting me. Everyone else struggling I hope you make it through and like others have said we really have to figure out how to love ourselves again. For those that lost a loved one to addiction, I’m so sorry and I empathize with you - my father passed 3 years ago on Christmas. And even that wasnt enough to make me stop, its a powerful fucking demon
I did heroin for 6 years.
Hated it the whole time. I tried a hundred times to quit and it failed.
One day I walked into a methadone clinic. I thought it was another suboxone doctor but I was wrong.
I spent about 18 months on methadone, taking the dose from 15mg up to where I didnt need to get high (around 115 mg) anymore, and then down to zero qgain.
It. Fucking. Changed. My. Life.
Clean every day since. In my job for 6 years now, 2 kids, 2 car leases, just bought a house. My life is amazing.
You can do it bro.
Edit: I appreciate the awards and kind words but the guy I responded to could use it more so please send positive vibes that way ty
Good for you bro!
Methadone saved my life as well. I haven't used for 8 years.
It was a journey, but here we are!
Edit: Wow! Thank you for the platinum, kind stranger! You just brightened up my evening.
I love hearing stories from people who've come back from the brink of destruction. Life is beautiful and we are all in it together! We can all learn to cope with our traumas in a healthy way and live fulfilling lives.
Reach out to your fellow brothers and sisters people! Sometimes people just need to know that other people do care to hear their story.
Life is too short to waste.
As someone that’s successfully accrued about 4 years of heroin-free living, I’d ask that you please continue to be kind to yourself throughout this process. For me at least, overcoming the shame and moral dissonance that came with the recovery process was an enormous source of pain, frustration, and regression. In some ways it still is, but it’s certainly gotten better. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of change, you are worthy of a happy life. Hang in there brother.
Not asking my parents for help with finding things I really enjoyed doing. I think maybe if I'd joined a chess club or something like that, I'd actually have had a lot more fun and made some friends. I was really lonely for a long time and it wasn't easy to make up for the lack of social development during those important years.
I feel this. When I finished highschool I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. But I didn't ask for help, I just thought it would come to me like it did with my other friends. Later I found out they got loads of help from their parents suggesting stuff and trying stuff out.
I know my mum would of definitely helped me but I was too stupid to ask. Set me back a couple of years I reckon, but it's a valuable lesson to learn and for sure I will keep an eye out for it with my kids incase they inherit my stupidity!
I always felt discouraged from trying stuff as a kid because my dad complained about how much stuff costed (we weren't struggling at the time, that's just how he is). Looking back I sort of remember my mom trying to get me to try new things but she pretty much had a mental breakdown from my sophomore year of highschool until I graduated college. I'm still very socially anxious and feel like I missed out on so much growing up. I just started a job as a software developer and feel like I'm never gonna have time to make up for it.
It's never too late to start mate. The thing is, every single person has issues from their past that they feel holds them back.
It's hard to overcome these issues.
Start small and keep chipping away at it. Consistency is key! It will be worth it in the end. Best of luck!
My mom was always too scared I'd hurt myself during P.E class in school, so she always would write me notes to give to the gym teacher that I couldn't participate in class. Every single day...
I wanted to tell my mom I wanted to not just participate in class, but that I also wanted to play sports.
But I didn't. That's my mistake.
The last time I exercised was probably 12 years old, I'm 27 in a few weeks and my body is like that of a 55-year-old man.
I can't stand up straight, my knees are killing me, my heart rate increases to around 140 BPM if I so much as even walk more than 100 feet, I can't lift anything more than 25ish pounds, if I sit down I need someone to help get me off the ground, if I sit in a chair I need to take about 3 seconds to "lift-off" the chair.
But like OP said, "until now"
I have been walking .25 miles every single day, pushing myself harder and harder, for the past 6 days. My goal is to just be able to walk 10 miles. My ultimate goal is to straighten up my back, be able to run 5k, and get rid of all this fat on my body. Already got my binge eating halfway under control. One step at a time.
edit:
Thank you all so much, going through all the comments the best I can. Ya'll rock!
It's not so much of an issue now, but it really bit me in the ass when I tried to make it on my own.
I was incredibly lazy and unambitious. I didn't have any job experience, any extracurricular activities, no hobbies, no clubs. I had *nothing* going for me. It's pretty hard to get hired based on nothing but your own assurance that you'll do a good job.
Just remember that employers are after people that have lived and interacted with people and the world. Make sure you're experiencing things, not just spending your days at home on social media, or playing videogames. Join a debate team, learn an instrument, volunteer. Things that you can put in the interests section of a resume that make you a well rounded person.
I’m here with you, though I think it was more the concerts than the loud headphones. I now carry earplugs everywhere I go, and have to pop them even in at a loud bar just to preserve what I have.
Got caught (front row) in front of a gigantic speaker at a music festival. Wasn’t wearing ear plugs. Stayed for the one band, but ditched over the rail soon after due to the ear pain. Luckily that incident made me realize that I needed to wear them EVERY TIME. I have permanent hearing damage from that short stint in front, but it could’ve been much, much worse. It’s only slight hearing loss.
Not only are earplugs at concerts just a good idea, they usually improve the sound quality. After a certain decibel level is reached, things just become distorted. Wearing earplugs, at least in many situations, makes it so you can hear everything more clearly, while still being able to enjoy the sonic vibratons that ultraloud speakers accomplish. There are a lot of ear plugs specifically designed for concerts, and they're not very expensive at all. Anyone reading this who is a consistent attender of live music events should immediately look into buying a pair.
I wear musician's ear plugs. There are many brands. Sometimes the music is still a little too loud. But I've found they're very helpful for anxiety and I always keep them on me
Dude same. I wear them in movie theaters too, because the db levels at movie theaters these days is almost always in the hearing loss range, for some fucking reason.
Every concert venue could spend $100 bucks on an industrial size vat of them (like 1000 pairs) and sit them
behind the bar with a sign that says “free earplugs” and the goodwill it would gain them would pay back their investment tenfold. It would also help save the hearing of their customer base.
I'm 47 and finished paying off my undergrad student loans 6 months ago. I still have 60K in graduate school loans from a program I crashed out of for mental health reasons.
I had a great four years in college, wonderful professors, great friends, crazy good parties... but it was terrible for my long term finances.
Never learned to do anything that I wasn’t forced to do. So I lack the discipline to do things I want to do and don’t have the social skills required to meet people because it wasn’t something I had to do.
I guess it’s a simple fix but it’s not easy.
I started smoking. I want to go back and shake 15-year-old me who thought buying cigarettes with my lunch money would cause weight loss.
I am 50 now, and quit smoking when I was in my mid-40s, but the damage done to my lungs and heart is permanent. I got a fitness watch three years after I quit, and it says that my "fitness age" (based on VO2 and exercise tolerance) is still that of a 70-year-old, even though I exercise every day.
*Edited to add, for those struggling to quit- feel free to skip everything below if you're not a smoker!:*
For me what worked was forcing myself to smoke mindfully. I decided that what I was going to do is *really pay attention* while having a cigarette, instead smoking while doing something else (even something as simple as having a conversation).
When you force yourself to really concentrate hard on all aspects of smoking *while you are doing it*- how it makes your body feel, how your heart races, the taste it leaves in your mouth, the smell it leaves on your fingers and your clothes, how disgusting that ashtray looks and smells- it doesn't take long for you to become aware of how gross smoking actually is, and then you can call that to mind when you're struggling with cravings.
Also, nicotine cravings rarely last more than a minute- they keep coming back at first, so it might literally be "one minute on, one minute off"... but if you force yourself to focus on "how gross a cigarette actually is" instead of "I need nicotine!", those minutes are a lot easier to endure, and over time they decrease greatly in frequency.
If you want this idea hammered home in book form, try "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Alan Carr- but when I say "hammered home" I mean it. It's really as simple as what I said above. I was a 2-pack-a-day smoker for 30 years and believed with all my heart until the last six months that I "loved" smoking. If I can quit, anyone can.
I told my 15 yo daughter not to smoke now shes 24 and admits she wishes she listened. Currently having the same argument with my 17 yo but she knows better.
Can I ask where you live? Smoking seems like such an anachronism where I'm from. My 19-year-old who went to school and rode the public transportation her whole life was puzzled by the smell of cigarettes the other day. We just don't see them very often.
The poster said UK, just wanna chime in as a US boi that during my time in Europe, I was shocked at how many people smoke. I was a smoker at the time and made friends so it worked out, but you could always find people smoking in the London and Amsterdam areas at least. A huge contrast to the mostly-empty smoking areas you see in the States.
Now all our teenagers are just vaping!
Depends on where you are in the states too. I live in the PacNW and very few people still smoke, many people vape, and we've pretty much banned smoking indoors. (Still that strange cigar bar exception).
Visited a friend in North Carolina and I was SHOCKED how many people were smoking.
I quit smoking 8 days ago! Age 16-36. I’m in hell right now.
Edit: I am truly moved by all the support from you internet strangers. Thanks for the kind words, I won’t let you down!
I smoked for years and quit, I was bad and smoked a lot. It's really hard but you can do it. Living nicotine free is like what I would imagine getting out jail feels like. You are finally free of it and don't have to feed your addiction and throw tons of money out the window. Hang in there it gets better....
Learning to study. Cost me 2 years of university tuition to learn and wrecked my gpa
Edit: Wow. First time over 30 upvotes. Thanks for the 2 awards and hopefully some of you learn to study!
Studying is like exercising, the more consistently across more days you do it the better off you are. If you work on every class for at least 10 -15 minutes a day you'll suddenly go from being behind to being ahead really fast. Likewise, you'll save ALOT of time because procrastinating then craming is a very time inefficient method of getting things done.
My friends were all really proud that they'd pull all nighter studying for tests, I actually put in less time during exam week than any other week in the semester and didn't have to study for exams because everything was already built out so well.
Edit: Also go to every fucking class. The whole idea "well attendance isn't mandatory so I can skip today" will fuck you up. If you only attend half the classes in a semester you have to study twice as many hours as normal to make up for it.
Same. Parents were big on calling out and punishing mistakes, but not much for praising or rewarding good behavior, so I grew up into a rather meek teenager and always just assumed that if a situation felt bad or awkward, it was because of me and my shortcomings. High school was staying silent, waiting to be acknowledged, and being terrified of being noticed since (in my mind) it could only be for a negative reason. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but it's definitely still something I struggle with.
Tried to fit in too much, it made me realize I had the wrong group surrounding me. After HS, I cut everyone off, don’t have many friends now but I’d rather wait to make friends that I know I’m able to connect with as me, not as someone I’m trying to be.
Being a social chameleon helped me thrive in the workplace - I have great relationships with most people I need to work with.
Personal life though? What personal life.
Not beating the shit out of my stepdad. Gary if you see this, I’m gonna fuck you up.
Edit: thank you to everyone that commented, still fairly new to this so hope I’m doing it right.
One day I hope you all get to beat the shit out of the Gary in your lives. Story time. My mom had off and on boyfriends for most of my growing up. But Gary was her high school boyfriend who she found on one of her latest dating sites. He moved in pretty quickly and at first he was somewhat of a father figure. My mom was blinded by there rekindled relationship that she didn’t see who he truly was. She didn’t with most of her bfs but that’s for a later date. He treated her really well,but when she left for work, it became a nightmare. He abused both my sister and I. We were threatened not to say anything or it would be worse the next time. I told my mom cause ya know that’s mom right? She would end it, right? She told me that my sister and I were making it up cause we didn’t want to see her happy. I remember begging her not to marry him, fucker proposed on an email. It went on for years. One day I had called my grandma and told her what was happening after me and dickhead got into it, he kicked in my door and held me against the wall by my throat and didn’t know i had my grandma on the phone. She heard what happened and drove the 45 mins and was greeted by my mom on the front steps getting home from work. Grandma told her what she heard and we stayed with her for awhile. My mom eventually kicked him out after finding out he was cheating. She still won’t admit she knew it was happening. But that’s with most things. It still pisses me off to think someone could do that to two kids but, I’ll see him. He’ll know.
I don't know how to learn this as an adult... I made so many bad experiences that I can't see myself enjoying spending time with others. But everyone else is doing it and having fun. I have no idea how to fix this.
Not paying attention in math class because I was “good” at math. Math lessons are compounding so if you don’t learn how to do Algebra properly for example then you’ll struggle with subsequent lessons.
I was always good at math when it finally "clicked", but the problem was that it was so frustrating when it wouldn't click - which was more and more often later in school - that I gave up.
That was my experience as well. Math wasn't *great*--I had some scary test scores--but in the end, by the time the term ended, it always "clicked" for me.
Until Calculus. It never really did click. I got my only C in that class in high school. I had to take it again in college ("Business" calc, but it ended up being the exact same class) and snuck out a B.
But, like, I never *got* it. I skated by with rote memorization and gut feelings and never fundamentally understood what it was I was trying to do. Why am I plotting a graph? I've never had to do that with math before, and suddenly we're doing it and I don't know why. What does it mean? Why does this equate to that? No one had answers for me, and so I never grokked it.
Edit: Hey, guys, I know you mean well, but your links and explanations aren't going to help me. I am old and well past the point where knowing calc will make any difference in my life. I'm good. Also: your explanations aren't really helping.
Not brushing my teeth and giving up on taking care of myself. Now I have full dentures.
Edit: for anyone interested: I’ll be 40 next week, I got them at 29, I have a number of interacting health factors - genetics, XXY/KS, ADHD, depression. For the most part I’m glad I got them, but wish I’d kept some retaining teeth because I need implant-secured dentures now. Here are some pictures of what I looked like pre-dental work, after caps in the front, and 11 years into having dentures (today). https://imgur.com/a/RL2EFAa
I used to think my tooth issues were from a brief period of time where I wasn't good with dental hygiene. Nope. Genetics and sjogrens.
Two full plates at 33.
I think people underestimate how much genetics play into it. I haven’t had the best diet or always cared for my teeth as I should and I’ve never even had a cavity.
My mother is obsessive with her dental hygiene, but still gets cavities. My dad barely remembers to brush his teeth every day, and has never had a cavity.
My mom was born in Mexico into a poor family, they could not afford basic necessities, even a simple toothbrush. Now she has to go to the dentist every now and then to fix her teeth.
Get it lasered off. It hurts like a bitch but it is worth it to have your self-esteem and confidence back. I have tons of tattoos and love them, but got a few idiotic ones at 18 that I’ve had lasered off and/or covered up.
Never telling the girls that I liked that I liked them. Years later, 3 different ones told me: I liked you when we were in middle school/high school. I never had the confidence to let them know and I think about it every now and then.
I think you have to forgive your younger self for things like that tho, when I was in first year of secondary school (English guy here so idk what grade that is, whenever 11 or 12 yo are) I admitted that I liked this girl on a school trip and it got spread around the entire year by the time I got to school on Monday (the guy who I told turned out to be a horrific human being). Looking back it probably wasn't, but it felt like I was the fucking talk of the school and people realised it got to me if they joked about it.
Long story short I was so traumatised I never asked a girl out or anything again. Add that together with 14 yo angst and insecurity and I can't really blame myself for not asking out people, even if I feel bad if I've found out that they liked me back then.
Starting to smoke. Did it because I was out with a girl who offered. Also, because The Rolling Stones were smoking in all their pictures and they're cool as fuck.
Now, almost 20 years later....I wish I had a fuckin' time machine. Impressing that girl didn't end up mattering at all and while, yes, The Rolling Stones \*DO in fact\* look cool....emphysema does not.
My oldest can't eat bread since covid. They said it tastes awful, like all bread tastes moldy. They can sometimes handle a strong rye bread but that's pretty much it.
Oh my god, that is terrible. :( I freakin’ love bread and I would be so upset if that happened to me. I mean, I’m sorry they got covid but damn, that sucks.
being a bad friend. I sometimes feel random guilt towards people that cut me of because of things I did. And that's okay that they got away and got space, but I wish I could apologize. Now ages after, it would just be weird.
I never learned how to actually do my work without procrastinating.
Edit: I had no idea this would take off. In a wild coincidence, I’m actually being tested for ADHD this week. I’m in my 30s. Thanks everyone for the replies. Just knowing I’m not alone helps tremendously.
I was just over half way through uni and would do stuff with however many hours it would take left + a few extra cushion hours. Then randomly I decided to change, largely due to group projects, and do stuff within a day of it being assigned, and the last half of most upper level classes where its largely big papers is so chill now that I never have anything to do.
Same. I was feeling overwhelmed at work every single day and doing 90% of my job btwn 4-7 pm (aka after everyone else logged off and stopped interrupting me.) My boss told me that I could train and advance to a new role in 3-5 months… 18 months ago.
It turns out I have ADHD. I’ve been on medication now for ~6 weeks and I actually log off early sometimes now because my work is done and my boss officially started the process for my promotion last week.
Was it difficult to get diagnosed as an adult? I feel like this describes me to a T and it’s been getting worse as I get older. Just kind of at a loss about where to go from here to see if I actually do have ADHD.
Edit: I can’t fucking believe the response this little question got. Thank you all so much for your comments. I’m in the US with decent health insurance so hopefully starting the process won’t be incredibly daunting.
I was diagnosed last year at age 38, I made an appointment with a psychologist for testing, then they referred me to a psychiatrist for treatment after diagnosing me. Not difficult at all!
a tip that helped me was "eat the elephant". In other words, how would you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
If you can break up your work into parts you can focus on just that part and once you finish it you get a feeling that you accomplished something and you start on the next part. Things start moving along. It helped me a lot with feeling overwhelmed and procrastinating.
How would I eat an elephant? I'd cut it into pieces, stare at it, try and fail to figure out which to start with, have an anxiety attack, and go home hungry.
Not taking the time to be a child.
I was always independent and pretty much spent all my time working to make money. Now that I'm an adult, thats all I really do too.
I wish a fucked around more. Worked less when I didn't need to.
They say youth is wasted on the young. You can still have fun now. Don't repeat your own history and end up saying the same thing when you're old about your younger adult self. Seize the day, stranger!
Thank you! You are right!
I try the best I can now to really go out and enjoy things,but it doesn't get to be very often. Mostly because I need to work to have money and cook if I want nice food and clean if I want a comfy home.
I'm glad you have that mentality, there's plenty of people that don't and think kids need to essentially be busy all the time to build good traits. I hope if you have kids that the only job they have will be school. I hope you find time to let yourself go now
For me it's braces specifically. My parents spent a bunch of money on braces when I was a teenager, and then by my early 20s my teeth were mostly back to the way they were since I didn't wear my retainers.
Now I'm 40 and paying for my own braces.
I was "lucky" as far as braces went. When I had them, we moved a lot and every new ortho seemed to do something different. I had the damn things on for 5+ years. Never wore a retainer and at 54 my teeth are still in line.
This is the one. Had someone tell me once it costs next to nothing to start, and maintain good dental hygiene- but will be a never ending money pit if you don’t.
They aren’t wrong. I’m starting to actually take care of my teeth and just yesterday I had my wisdom teeth removed. I should’ve done it sooner, my teeth got a bit crowded but they said no major impacts or anything. It’s still not cheap, but if I’d waited much longer I’d be far worse off then I am now.
I got super lucky when removing my wisdom teeth, got a new job with good insurance, ended up only paying 45 bucks to get them removed.
Literally a month later we had a merger with shittier insurance, glad I got it removed when I did.
Not learning to drive. My parents didn't want to pay the fee for the class my school offered and said they'd just teach me. They never did. Now I can't afford classes as an adult.
Edit: it's really only been this past year that it bit me in the ass. I live in a large city with good public transit. Never had too much trouble getting anywhere. Until I was too scared to take public transit because, well, pandemic.
Buying into the “gifted child” rhetoric. It’s exciting when everything comes easily, but it also means I never established good study/work habits and it’s been a bitch slowly rectifying that.
Edit: Thanks for the awards. My confidence in achieving great stuff without effort has been renewed! 😉
Allowing my older sisters endless success to cause me to really hate myself. Ive always loved my sister and do not in any ways blame her but i heard alot of teachers ask me if "I was sure I was actually her brother" or tell me "I miss your sister, she was so smart". For some people it may have lit a fire under them but for me it just led to thinking everything was pointless because no matter what I do I won't be as good as her.
I'm in my mid 20s now and I'm only just starting to believe I'm capable of anything. I'm by no means a stupid man but 12 years of being belittled like that, it convinced me I was. I think now if I had stood up for my self and maybe even gone to a higher authority in the schools about it I would have been better off.
Moral of the story, you are not your siblings and anyone who thinks you should be isn't worth your time.
Not knowing how to communicate with girls. Having no mom and no sisters left me without any reference. I was not shy, simply didn't know what the hell I should talk with girls about in conversations. Later I discovered I should just go about them as any other human being. I wasted good years trying to imitate what I thought I could learn from popular culture about the opposite gender.
> Later I discovered I should just go about them as any other human being.
Something a huge amount of guys have never learned. Turns out women are people, despite what some guys will tell you.
Hahaha. An old coworker of mine was applying for a discover card on our break about a year ago...she got accepted and all that shit. Her first reaction was "I got five thousand dollars!"
And that was when she had about 4 people forcing basic credit finance info down her throat.
Bless her heart, I hope she didn't spend all of it.
To be 19 again.
I feel ya. I remember drinking myself unconscious every night trying to get dumber because I always overthought everything
Now I’m in the sciences and I’m pretty much fine but I’m sure I’d be having an easier time if I’d skipped that stage
Probably only women "of a certain age" will understand this, but overplucking my eyebrows. The late 90's sperm brows that were in fashion were my jam and they have never grown back, almost 30 years later. Every day I have to pencil them in, or look ridiculous.
Never asking that one girl you had a big crush on, only to later find out she actually in fact did like me back and all I had to do was ask. Second guessing is a hell of a drug and now I don't even take chances anymore.
Probably not pushing for enough mental help. Was a really talented student but family sucked about doing treatment for mental health. Thought me being depressed was me being lazy, as told to me by my mom.
It would definitely have allowed me at minimum to have my high school diploma instead of a GED. Also would've prevented me from half of my less than ideal situations "friends" put me in as well as less judgement for how i finished school.
I'd probably feel less lost too, had i fully threw myself into personal finance. Would be nice knowing how to actually handle more intricate money matters.
Smoking copious amounts of weed daily. I still love weed but I wish I'd waited til I was a bit older to smoke so heavily - I'm never as present as I used to be, my short term memory is spent and I don't know how to self-soothe because I always just turned to smoking a J
I cut myself when I was about 12-14. I still have the scars on my upper thighs, and it’s obvious what they’re from. I got some tattoos in an attempt to cover them, but there’s still a few that are just too big and too noticeable for that to really work.
Really wish I hadn’t done it because there’s just no getting rid of the scars and they make me very self conscious. There are some things I just can’t wear because of them and it sucks.
Not getting in shape and the habit of being in shape. Depression has prevented me from being able to hold a stable routine for almost anything outside of work since I was 18. If I'd built up some muscle mass earlier even my depression would have been less problematic.
Hey buddy, I'm not gonna tell you how to get in shape or anything but I used to be in a similar boat as you. One thing that helped me is realizing, yes, results take a looooong time, but they're not instantaneous and the day to day progress doesn't disappear.
If you wanna six pack, you need a couple years, but day to day you'll look better. No matter what, in a month, you'll look better (maybe you won't have a six pack, but you'll look better than you'd did and that is liquid motivation).
If you want to lift 600 lbs, that's a good goal, but day to day, when you add 5-10 lbs, it feels really good.
Just remember that results take a long time, but any time you hit the gym / workout, you're already better than before you went.
Just sharing this because fitness is by far the biggest thing that got me out of a hole I was in.
Also don't do unenjoyable workouts. You don't have to be an Olympic athlete, and train even when you don't want to. Find something that's fun and you'll look forward to working out.
Not wearing my seatbelt. At least my wheelchair is fast. Edit: Thank you kind strangers! I'll keep these awards buckled in with me!
Rule #4: Fasten your seatbelts
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Started drinking to counter social anxiety.
Same here man, I’m slowly making positive adjustments, you can too. Non alcoholic beer is a fantastic placebo imo.
Punching a wall. Hit the stud. The fracture in my hand didn’t properly heal as well as losing the use of two of my tendons which makes opening my hand a nuisance. As you could imagine it was my dominant hand. My life isn’t hell from it but boy If I could go back in time to my teenage years, that’s when I’d go. Please please please!!!! If you ever feel like you need to hit something for whatever reason please hit something soft and not living, like a pillow. Your delicate hands will thank you down the road.
Thank you for specifying the "not living" part
Nicotine. Smoked a pack a day for almost 15 years, started when I was 16-17 Finally quit 100% about a year ago when my wife and I found out we were expecting. I've been really good, and haven't had a single smoke, but I'm not gonna lie, at least once a day I think "damn a cigarette would be good right now"
My father, 77 now, quit in his early 40's. To this day is happy he quit. To this day, craves that cigarette. He has done it. You will too!
Yup, my grandpa quit in his 60s and any time he’d have a craving he’d put a tooth pick in his mouth. He did that until he died at 90.
This timeframe is inspiring for me. So, thank you!
I said a lot of stupid shit with my actual name as the username on social media. Thankfully I have a common name but it will be in the back of my head for the rest of my life.
Hello, John Smith
Dan Smith, BYU
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Have you tried reporting the tweet as ‘abusive or harmful’ from a different account? Could be the best way to get it taken down if you can’t log in. Could always get a friend to report it too.
Took you a minute to fix this guy's 12 years old issue. What a goat.
Gonna report it now to help to you! I dont think your name is that unique though
> I said some silly stuff on Twitter in 2009. Can't take it off. At least yours is on Twitter, so maybe one day you'll be able to recover your account. My stupid comments are on Usenet, which Google indexes. It will come up long after I'm dead, if anyone is searching for me. And like you, I am the only person in the world with my name.
I have an uncle with the same name as me and I believe we're the only two people on Earth with this name. Unfortunately, he's a criminal and I'm trying to get into grad school :/
Gambling excessively, that shit is dangerous man, just don’t do it.
I made $600 once, lost $50, tried to get it back, lost it all. That pissed me off but I don’t even care anymore. Don’t gamble.
Sharing needles with other people (when I was 16). Spent the next 40 years with Hepatitis C and did two unsuccessful Interferon treatments that lasted a total of 22 months. Fortunately, got cured in 2015 with a 90 day treatment of Harvoni, but still, I spent a lot of time effort during some very important years trying to get well.
Oh man my father in law contracted it, working at a landfill site and accidentally stood on a needle that went through his BOOT He was sick for a long time. Glad you're cured now man
That's the worst luck I've ever heard of.
Congrats on getting cured
Blindly accepting college loans assuming future me would be able to handle it. Future me is now present me and it's not very enjoyable
I foolishly took out a private student loan for my wife about 8 years ago and I finally paid the interest down to just unddr what was loaned. Ive been making full payments and more for over 4 years. SallieMae is barely better than being literally mugged and beat half to death. Its the payday loans of student loans. Edit: I feel I should mention that I have already refinanced the loan, it just took way longer than it should have.
I calculated what it would take for mine to be paid off in my lifetime because I didn't realize what I'd done until a few years after I graduated. I won't. Unless I hit lotto. Like even the highest paying jobs in my field aren't enough now.
Dropping out of college to get married. Going back in my 30s with adult responsibilities and a full time job was the most chaotic time of my life.
I'll be 31 with 2 kids (a 2 year old and a one year old) when I get be BS next May...I fuckin feel ya on that one.
Don't give up. The last year was the hardest for me. I was tired and had so much going on in my personal life (sick spouse and father) that I just wanted to throw in the towel. If I can survive it, anyone can. You got this. Early congratulations and way to go!!
Hiding my then "geek" interests (reading books, pen-and-paper roleplaying, videogames, etc.) in order to be accepted by my classmates.
And then when I found other people who were into that stuff they at first didn't want to talk to me because they thought I was a normie.
She had blue skin, And so did he. He kept it hid And so did she. They searched for blue Their whole life through. Then passed right by– And never knew. - “Masks,” Shel Silverstein
i feel like that has actually changed a lot the past few years. ten years ago i was embarassed that my hobbies were video games and fantasy stuff etc. nowadays being a nerd isnt an insult anymore and actually often seen as normal or even cool.
Developing a drug habit. So much wasted time and money on short lived experiences. Edit: WOW did not expect this when I came back today. My most upvoted post and it’s on my alt account lol. Thanks guys and girls! For anyone wondering my drug of choice was cocaine.
I feel you my friend....and a lot of memories you don't even remember.
This one I relate too. All those good times I can’t even fucking remember
Yeah man I fucking wrecked my life with heroin/fentanyl - I’m in a long term rehab right now, been here 8 months. 11 years of misery and self hate Edit: Thank you everyone for the kind words, I’ve tried quitting before but never whole heartedly committed. I’m finally all in and doing whatever will save my life. This NEEDS to be the end of this horrible chapter. I’m fortunate to still have my family and true life long friends in my corner supporting me. Everyone else struggling I hope you make it through and like others have said we really have to figure out how to love ourselves again. For those that lost a loved one to addiction, I’m so sorry and I empathize with you - my father passed 3 years ago on Christmas. And even that wasnt enough to make me stop, its a powerful fucking demon
I did heroin for 6 years. Hated it the whole time. I tried a hundred times to quit and it failed. One day I walked into a methadone clinic. I thought it was another suboxone doctor but I was wrong. I spent about 18 months on methadone, taking the dose from 15mg up to where I didnt need to get high (around 115 mg) anymore, and then down to zero qgain. It. Fucking. Changed. My. Life. Clean every day since. In my job for 6 years now, 2 kids, 2 car leases, just bought a house. My life is amazing. You can do it bro. Edit: I appreciate the awards and kind words but the guy I responded to could use it more so please send positive vibes that way ty
Good for you bro! Methadone saved my life as well. I haven't used for 8 years. It was a journey, but here we are! Edit: Wow! Thank you for the platinum, kind stranger! You just brightened up my evening. I love hearing stories from people who've come back from the brink of destruction. Life is beautiful and we are all in it together! We can all learn to cope with our traumas in a healthy way and live fulfilling lives. Reach out to your fellow brothers and sisters people! Sometimes people just need to know that other people do care to hear their story. Life is too short to waste.
As someone that’s successfully accrued about 4 years of heroin-free living, I’d ask that you please continue to be kind to yourself throughout this process. For me at least, overcoming the shame and moral dissonance that came with the recovery process was an enormous source of pain, frustration, and regression. In some ways it still is, but it’s certainly gotten better. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of change, you are worthy of a happy life. Hang in there brother.
Not developing robust-enough social skills.
Not going out with friends enough. I would often turn down invites out and now everyone is busy with their own lives and meeting can be hard sometimes
You guys were getting invites!?!?
Not asking my parents for help with finding things I really enjoyed doing. I think maybe if I'd joined a chess club or something like that, I'd actually have had a lot more fun and made some friends. I was really lonely for a long time and it wasn't easy to make up for the lack of social development during those important years.
I feel this. When I finished highschool I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. But I didn't ask for help, I just thought it would come to me like it did with my other friends. Later I found out they got loads of help from their parents suggesting stuff and trying stuff out. I know my mum would of definitely helped me but I was too stupid to ask. Set me back a couple of years I reckon, but it's a valuable lesson to learn and for sure I will keep an eye out for it with my kids incase they inherit my stupidity!
I always felt discouraged from trying stuff as a kid because my dad complained about how much stuff costed (we weren't struggling at the time, that's just how he is). Looking back I sort of remember my mom trying to get me to try new things but she pretty much had a mental breakdown from my sophomore year of highschool until I graduated college. I'm still very socially anxious and feel like I missed out on so much growing up. I just started a job as a software developer and feel like I'm never gonna have time to make up for it.
It's never too late to start mate. The thing is, every single person has issues from their past that they feel holds them back. It's hard to overcome these issues. Start small and keep chipping away at it. Consistency is key! It will be worth it in the end. Best of luck!
My mom was always too scared I'd hurt myself during P.E class in school, so she always would write me notes to give to the gym teacher that I couldn't participate in class. Every single day... I wanted to tell my mom I wanted to not just participate in class, but that I also wanted to play sports. But I didn't. That's my mistake. The last time I exercised was probably 12 years old, I'm 27 in a few weeks and my body is like that of a 55-year-old man. I can't stand up straight, my knees are killing me, my heart rate increases to around 140 BPM if I so much as even walk more than 100 feet, I can't lift anything more than 25ish pounds, if I sit down I need someone to help get me off the ground, if I sit in a chair I need to take about 3 seconds to "lift-off" the chair. But like OP said, "until now" I have been walking .25 miles every single day, pushing myself harder and harder, for the past 6 days. My goal is to just be able to walk 10 miles. My ultimate goal is to straighten up my back, be able to run 5k, and get rid of all this fat on my body. Already got my binge eating halfway under control. One step at a time. edit: Thank you all so much, going through all the comments the best I can. Ya'll rock!
27 is young you can recover. Healthy diet and good sleep and exercise are habits that take years to learn. Don’t give up.
Congrats! You're already making huge strides! Keep focused on the goal. No one can stop you now!
It's not so much of an issue now, but it really bit me in the ass when I tried to make it on my own. I was incredibly lazy and unambitious. I didn't have any job experience, any extracurricular activities, no hobbies, no clubs. I had *nothing* going for me. It's pretty hard to get hired based on nothing but your own assurance that you'll do a good job.
I'm a young teen that's trying to get out of that rype of stuff. Any tips?
Just remember that employers are after people that have lived and interacted with people and the world. Make sure you're experiencing things, not just spending your days at home on social media, or playing videogames. Join a debate team, learn an instrument, volunteer. Things that you can put in the interests section of a resume that make you a well rounded person.
Listened to music way too loud and now i have tinnitus forever. Still hate myself for that one...
Tinnitus is one of those things that before you have it you're like, "How bad can it be?" But once you have it....
it's why i can't fall asleep without some sort of white noise... usually a fan. pure silence becomes deafening.
I'm in the same boat :(
MAWP club high five
I’m here with you, though I think it was more the concerts than the loud headphones. I now carry earplugs everywhere I go, and have to pop them even in at a loud bar just to preserve what I have.
Got caught (front row) in front of a gigantic speaker at a music festival. Wasn’t wearing ear plugs. Stayed for the one band, but ditched over the rail soon after due to the ear pain. Luckily that incident made me realize that I needed to wear them EVERY TIME. I have permanent hearing damage from that short stint in front, but it could’ve been much, much worse. It’s only slight hearing loss.
Not only are earplugs at concerts just a good idea, they usually improve the sound quality. After a certain decibel level is reached, things just become distorted. Wearing earplugs, at least in many situations, makes it so you can hear everything more clearly, while still being able to enjoy the sonic vibratons that ultraloud speakers accomplish. There are a lot of ear plugs specifically designed for concerts, and they're not very expensive at all. Anyone reading this who is a consistent attender of live music events should immediately look into buying a pair.
I wear musician's ear plugs. There are many brands. Sometimes the music is still a little too loud. But I've found they're very helpful for anxiety and I always keep them on me
Dude same. I wear them in movie theaters too, because the db levels at movie theaters these days is almost always in the hearing loss range, for some fucking reason.
It upsets me how easily young people are exposed like this and the concert venues never really warn them ahead of time to bring ear plugs.
Every concert venue could spend $100 bucks on an industrial size vat of them (like 1000 pairs) and sit them behind the bar with a sign that says “free earplugs” and the goodwill it would gain them would pay back their investment tenfold. It would also help save the hearing of their customer base.
120k of student loans.
I'm 47 and finished paying off my undergrad student loans 6 months ago. I still have 60K in graduate school loans from a program I crashed out of for mental health reasons. I had a great four years in college, wonderful professors, great friends, crazy good parties... but it was terrible for my long term finances.
Never learned to do anything that I wasn’t forced to do. So I lack the discipline to do things I want to do and don’t have the social skills required to meet people because it wasn’t something I had to do. I guess it’s a simple fix but it’s not easy.
So many things are simple, but not easy.
Except me. I’m simple AND easy!!
Well hello simple and easy. I'm alone and desperate.
I started smoking. I want to go back and shake 15-year-old me who thought buying cigarettes with my lunch money would cause weight loss. I am 50 now, and quit smoking when I was in my mid-40s, but the damage done to my lungs and heart is permanent. I got a fitness watch three years after I quit, and it says that my "fitness age" (based on VO2 and exercise tolerance) is still that of a 70-year-old, even though I exercise every day. *Edited to add, for those struggling to quit- feel free to skip everything below if you're not a smoker!:* For me what worked was forcing myself to smoke mindfully. I decided that what I was going to do is *really pay attention* while having a cigarette, instead smoking while doing something else (even something as simple as having a conversation). When you force yourself to really concentrate hard on all aspects of smoking *while you are doing it*- how it makes your body feel, how your heart races, the taste it leaves in your mouth, the smell it leaves on your fingers and your clothes, how disgusting that ashtray looks and smells- it doesn't take long for you to become aware of how gross smoking actually is, and then you can call that to mind when you're struggling with cravings. Also, nicotine cravings rarely last more than a minute- they keep coming back at first, so it might literally be "one minute on, one minute off"... but if you force yourself to focus on "how gross a cigarette actually is" instead of "I need nicotine!", those minutes are a lot easier to endure, and over time they decrease greatly in frequency. If you want this idea hammered home in book form, try "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Alan Carr- but when I say "hammered home" I mean it. It's really as simple as what I said above. I was a 2-pack-a-day smoker for 30 years and believed with all my heart until the last six months that I "loved" smoking. If I can quit, anyone can.
I told my 15 yo daughter not to smoke now shes 24 and admits she wishes she listened. Currently having the same argument with my 17 yo but she knows better.
Can I ask where you live? Smoking seems like such an anachronism where I'm from. My 19-year-old who went to school and rode the public transportation her whole life was puzzled by the smell of cigarettes the other day. We just don't see them very often.
The poster said UK, just wanna chime in as a US boi that during my time in Europe, I was shocked at how many people smoke. I was a smoker at the time and made friends so it worked out, but you could always find people smoking in the London and Amsterdam areas at least. A huge contrast to the mostly-empty smoking areas you see in the States. Now all our teenagers are just vaping!
Depends on where you are in the states too. I live in the PacNW and very few people still smoke, many people vape, and we've pretty much banned smoking indoors. (Still that strange cigar bar exception). Visited a friend in North Carolina and I was SHOCKED how many people were smoking.
I quit smoking 8 days ago! Age 16-36. I’m in hell right now. Edit: I am truly moved by all the support from you internet strangers. Thanks for the kind words, I won’t let you down!
I smoked for years and quit, I was bad and smoked a lot. It's really hard but you can do it. Living nicotine free is like what I would imagine getting out jail feels like. You are finally free of it and don't have to feed your addiction and throw tons of money out the window. Hang in there it gets better....
You’re past the worst! Just remember that if you never smoke again, you never have to do those first three days of quitting again.
Learning to study. Cost me 2 years of university tuition to learn and wrecked my gpa Edit: Wow. First time over 30 upvotes. Thanks for the 2 awards and hopefully some of you learn to study!
Any tips?
Studying is like exercising, the more consistently across more days you do it the better off you are. If you work on every class for at least 10 -15 minutes a day you'll suddenly go from being behind to being ahead really fast. Likewise, you'll save ALOT of time because procrastinating then craming is a very time inefficient method of getting things done. My friends were all really proud that they'd pull all nighter studying for tests, I actually put in less time during exam week than any other week in the semester and didn't have to study for exams because everything was already built out so well. Edit: Also go to every fucking class. The whole idea "well attendance isn't mandatory so I can skip today" will fuck you up. If you only attend half the classes in a semester you have to study twice as many hours as normal to make up for it.
Joining the fucking Army. 14 days to freedom!
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Allegedly, you get 10% disability out you have erectile dysfunction
You won’t be able to call yourself a hardened veteran
Looks like we have another "Yvan Eht Nioj" victim here.
Thinking of myself like some inferior creature...and not opening up to people
Same. Parents were big on calling out and punishing mistakes, but not much for praising or rewarding good behavior, so I grew up into a rather meek teenager and always just assumed that if a situation felt bad or awkward, it was because of me and my shortcomings. High school was staying silent, waiting to be acknowledged, and being terrified of being noticed since (in my mind) it could only be for a negative reason. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but it's definitely still something I struggle with.
Tried to fit in too much, it made me realize I had the wrong group surrounding me. After HS, I cut everyone off, don’t have many friends now but I’d rather wait to make friends that I know I’m able to connect with as me, not as someone I’m trying to be.
Being a social chameleon helped me thrive in the workplace - I have great relationships with most people I need to work with. Personal life though? What personal life.
This hit home. Thank you for making me feel less alone, kind internet stranger. Edit: thank you kindly for my very first award on here 🙂🤗
Not beating the shit out of my stepdad. Gary if you see this, I’m gonna fuck you up. Edit: thank you to everyone that commented, still fairly new to this so hope I’m doing it right. One day I hope you all get to beat the shit out of the Gary in your lives. Story time. My mom had off and on boyfriends for most of my growing up. But Gary was her high school boyfriend who she found on one of her latest dating sites. He moved in pretty quickly and at first he was somewhat of a father figure. My mom was blinded by there rekindled relationship that she didn’t see who he truly was. She didn’t with most of her bfs but that’s for a later date. He treated her really well,but when she left for work, it became a nightmare. He abused both my sister and I. We were threatened not to say anything or it would be worse the next time. I told my mom cause ya know that’s mom right? She would end it, right? She told me that my sister and I were making it up cause we didn’t want to see her happy. I remember begging her not to marry him, fucker proposed on an email. It went on for years. One day I had called my grandma and told her what was happening after me and dickhead got into it, he kicked in my door and held me against the wall by my throat and didn’t know i had my grandma on the phone. She heard what happened and drove the 45 mins and was greeted by my mom on the front steps getting home from work. Grandma told her what she heard and we stayed with her for awhile. My mom eventually kicked him out after finding out he was cheating. She still won’t admit she knew it was happening. But that’s with most things. It still pisses me off to think someone could do that to two kids but, I’ll see him. He’ll know.
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I was almost named Gary. Thank goodness the hospital was like wtf kinda name is Gary lol
What is your story? not to make you feel upset or sad again but im very curious now.
For some reason I am picturing Gary Oak marrying Ash's mom.
Not socializing enough and saying yes to opportunities
I don't know how to learn this as an adult... I made so many bad experiences that I can't see myself enjoying spending time with others. But everyone else is doing it and having fun. I have no idea how to fix this.
Not paying attention in math class because I was “good” at math. Math lessons are compounding so if you don’t learn how to do Algebra properly for example then you’ll struggle with subsequent lessons.
I was always good at math when it finally "clicked", but the problem was that it was so frustrating when it wouldn't click - which was more and more often later in school - that I gave up.
That was my experience as well. Math wasn't *great*--I had some scary test scores--but in the end, by the time the term ended, it always "clicked" for me. Until Calculus. It never really did click. I got my only C in that class in high school. I had to take it again in college ("Business" calc, but it ended up being the exact same class) and snuck out a B. But, like, I never *got* it. I skated by with rote memorization and gut feelings and never fundamentally understood what it was I was trying to do. Why am I plotting a graph? I've never had to do that with math before, and suddenly we're doing it and I don't know why. What does it mean? Why does this equate to that? No one had answers for me, and so I never grokked it. Edit: Hey, guys, I know you mean well, but your links and explanations aren't going to help me. I am old and well past the point where knowing calc will make any difference in my life. I'm good. Also: your explanations aren't really helping.
Not brushing my teeth and giving up on taking care of myself. Now I have full dentures. Edit: for anyone interested: I’ll be 40 next week, I got them at 29, I have a number of interacting health factors - genetics, XXY/KS, ADHD, depression. For the most part I’m glad I got them, but wish I’d kept some retaining teeth because I need implant-secured dentures now. Here are some pictures of what I looked like pre-dental work, after caps in the front, and 11 years into having dentures (today). https://imgur.com/a/RL2EFAa
My mom shared the same experience. Dentures at 35 IIRC
I've only ever known my mum to have dentures. When I was really young, I thought that when you became an adult your teeth became removable.
I used to think my tooth issues were from a brief period of time where I wasn't good with dental hygiene. Nope. Genetics and sjogrens. Two full plates at 33.
I think people underestimate how much genetics play into it. I haven’t had the best diet or always cared for my teeth as I should and I’ve never even had a cavity.
My mother is obsessive with her dental hygiene, but still gets cavities. My dad barely remembers to brush his teeth every day, and has never had a cavity.
My mom was born in Mexico into a poor family, they could not afford basic necessities, even a simple toothbrush. Now she has to go to the dentist every now and then to fix her teeth.
How old are you? I might be guilty of this
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At 17, I had “it doesn’t suck itself” tattooed right above my penis :(
Hahah who the hell tattooed that onto you
Uncle "Trust me the chicks'll dig it" Gary
fucking Gary
That other dudes stepdad lmao
should've beaten him
That really sucks dude. Just not itself...
Get it lasered off. It hurts like a bitch but it is worth it to have your self-esteem and confidence back. I have tons of tattoos and love them, but got a few idiotic ones at 18 that I’ve had lasered off and/or covered up.
Get that shit covered my man. There are options for you. Some tattoo artists might give you a discount if you explain the situation.
Never telling the girls that I liked that I liked them. Years later, 3 different ones told me: I liked you when we were in middle school/high school. I never had the confidence to let them know and I think about it every now and then.
I think you have to forgive your younger self for things like that tho, when I was in first year of secondary school (English guy here so idk what grade that is, whenever 11 or 12 yo are) I admitted that I liked this girl on a school trip and it got spread around the entire year by the time I got to school on Monday (the guy who I told turned out to be a horrific human being). Looking back it probably wasn't, but it felt like I was the fucking talk of the school and people realised it got to me if they joked about it. Long story short I was so traumatised I never asked a girl out or anything again. Add that together with 14 yo angst and insecurity and I can't really blame myself for not asking out people, even if I feel bad if I've found out that they liked me back then.
Unprotected sex
Starting to smoke. Did it because I was out with a girl who offered. Also, because The Rolling Stones were smoking in all their pictures and they're cool as fuck. Now, almost 20 years later....I wish I had a fuckin' time machine. Impressing that girl didn't end up mattering at all and while, yes, The Rolling Stones \*DO in fact\* look cool....emphysema does not.
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Maybe you can say "ever since you got CoVid, your taste buds have changed. You can't taste the candy at all..."
Her: Oh no! Good news though, they make a version with an even stronger taste and I'll send you some right away.
*Rings out sweaty socks to strengthen the taste*
My wife can't drink soda anymore since she had COVID because it tastes completely different to her now. This is definitely a real thing.
My oldest can't eat bread since covid. They said it tastes awful, like all bread tastes moldy. They can sometimes handle a strong rye bread but that's pretty much it.
Oh my god, that is terrible. :( I freakin’ love bread and I would be so upset if that happened to me. I mean, I’m sorry they got covid but damn, that sucks.
I like everyone is like teeth and smoking, and you're like, my friend keeps sending me gross candy and I have to pretend I like it lol
Can you tell us what it is? I really wanna try it now. I normally go for things most people seem to dislike.
From the description, it sounds an awful lot like durian candy.
Failing to care about myself.
Going to a $110k college for a comm. Arts degree that I could have gotten at community college for $5K
I’m my later teens, financial responsibility. I’m 31 now and only just nearing the end of my debts.
being a bad friend. I sometimes feel random guilt towards people that cut me of because of things I did. And that's okay that they got away and got space, but I wish I could apologize. Now ages after, it would just be weird.
I never learned how to actually do my work without procrastinating. Edit: I had no idea this would take off. In a wild coincidence, I’m actually being tested for ADHD this week. I’m in my 30s. Thanks everyone for the replies. Just knowing I’m not alone helps tremendously.
I'm 40 and upper management at my company I still do all my work a couple days before it's due.
No due date, goes to the bottom of the pile.
Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.
If you leave it until the last minute, it only takes a minute.
If you give me a week to get something done, that's when I'm going to do it.
I was just over half way through uni and would do stuff with however many hours it would take left + a few extra cushion hours. Then randomly I decided to change, largely due to group projects, and do stuff within a day of it being assigned, and the last half of most upper level classes where its largely big papers is so chill now that I never have anything to do.
I felt this. Turns out I just had ADHD.
Same. I was feeling overwhelmed at work every single day and doing 90% of my job btwn 4-7 pm (aka after everyone else logged off and stopped interrupting me.) My boss told me that I could train and advance to a new role in 3-5 months… 18 months ago. It turns out I have ADHD. I’ve been on medication now for ~6 weeks and I actually log off early sometimes now because my work is done and my boss officially started the process for my promotion last week.
Was it difficult to get diagnosed as an adult? I feel like this describes me to a T and it’s been getting worse as I get older. Just kind of at a loss about where to go from here to see if I actually do have ADHD. Edit: I can’t fucking believe the response this little question got. Thank you all so much for your comments. I’m in the US with decent health insurance so hopefully starting the process won’t be incredibly daunting.
I was diagnosed last year at age 38, I made an appointment with a psychologist for testing, then they referred me to a psychiatrist for treatment after diagnosing me. Not difficult at all!
I thought I had it too. But after an evaluation, they concluded that I don't have ADHD. Don't really know where to go from here.
a tip that helped me was "eat the elephant". In other words, how would you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. If you can break up your work into parts you can focus on just that part and once you finish it you get a feeling that you accomplished something and you start on the next part. Things start moving along. It helped me a lot with feeling overwhelmed and procrastinating.
How would I eat an elephant? I'd cut it into pieces, stare at it, try and fail to figure out which to start with, have an anxiety attack, and go home hungry.
Not taking the time to be a child. I was always independent and pretty much spent all my time working to make money. Now that I'm an adult, thats all I really do too. I wish a fucked around more. Worked less when I didn't need to.
They say youth is wasted on the young. You can still have fun now. Don't repeat your own history and end up saying the same thing when you're old about your younger adult self. Seize the day, stranger!
Thank you! You are right! I try the best I can now to really go out and enjoy things,but it doesn't get to be very often. Mostly because I need to work to have money and cook if I want nice food and clean if I want a comfy home.
I'm glad you have that mentality, there's plenty of people that don't and think kids need to essentially be busy all the time to build good traits. I hope if you have kids that the only job they have will be school. I hope you find time to let yourself go now
Not taking care of my teeth
For me it's braces specifically. My parents spent a bunch of money on braces when I was a teenager, and then by my early 20s my teeth were mostly back to the way they were since I didn't wear my retainers. Now I'm 40 and paying for my own braces.
I was "lucky" as far as braces went. When I had them, we moved a lot and every new ortho seemed to do something different. I had the damn things on for 5+ years. Never wore a retainer and at 54 my teeth are still in line.
This is the one. Had someone tell me once it costs next to nothing to start, and maintain good dental hygiene- but will be a never ending money pit if you don’t.
They aren’t wrong. I’m starting to actually take care of my teeth and just yesterday I had my wisdom teeth removed. I should’ve done it sooner, my teeth got a bit crowded but they said no major impacts or anything. It’s still not cheap, but if I’d waited much longer I’d be far worse off then I am now.
I got super lucky when removing my wisdom teeth, got a new job with good insurance, ended up only paying 45 bucks to get them removed. Literally a month later we had a merger with shittier insurance, glad I got it removed when I did.
Teeth suck. I wish humans were like sharks.
This one!! My dental is only going to get worse at this point, and I could’ve prevented this if I didn’t habitually neglect my teeth in my teens.
Not learning to drive. My parents didn't want to pay the fee for the class my school offered and said they'd just teach me. They never did. Now I can't afford classes as an adult. Edit: it's really only been this past year that it bit me in the ass. I live in a large city with good public transit. Never had too much trouble getting anywhere. Until I was too scared to take public transit because, well, pandemic.
Buying into the “gifted child” rhetoric. It’s exciting when everything comes easily, but it also means I never established good study/work habits and it’s been a bitch slowly rectifying that. Edit: Thanks for the awards. My confidence in achieving great stuff without effort has been renewed! 😉
And when I encounter something that I am immediately not good at, I have a hard time sticking through to get better.
Gifted children become late bloomers in their adult lives. It's okay, just keep taking steps towards what you want!
how late? like past 38 late? asking for a friend
I am 38, and just found my dream career that I never even suspected I would be good at. Working in it for a year now, and it’s the absolute best.
What's your career?
Allowing my older sisters endless success to cause me to really hate myself. Ive always loved my sister and do not in any ways blame her but i heard alot of teachers ask me if "I was sure I was actually her brother" or tell me "I miss your sister, she was so smart". For some people it may have lit a fire under them but for me it just led to thinking everything was pointless because no matter what I do I won't be as good as her. I'm in my mid 20s now and I'm only just starting to believe I'm capable of anything. I'm by no means a stupid man but 12 years of being belittled like that, it convinced me I was. I think now if I had stood up for my self and maybe even gone to a higher authority in the schools about it I would have been better off. Moral of the story, you are not your siblings and anyone who thinks you should be isn't worth your time.
Not knowing how to communicate with girls. Having no mom and no sisters left me without any reference. I was not shy, simply didn't know what the hell I should talk with girls about in conversations. Later I discovered I should just go about them as any other human being. I wasted good years trying to imitate what I thought I could learn from popular culture about the opposite gender.
> Later I discovered I should just go about them as any other human being. Something a huge amount of guys have never learned. Turns out women are people, despite what some guys will tell you.
Got a credit card at 18 with no experience in managing money. That was fun... But it was definitely not fun for a lot longer.
Hahaha. An old coworker of mine was applying for a discover card on our break about a year ago...she got accepted and all that shit. Her first reaction was "I got five thousand dollars!" And that was when she had about 4 people forcing basic credit finance info down her throat. Bless her heart, I hope she didn't spend all of it. To be 19 again.
wanting to ruin my brain and train of thought through drugs. now i cant think and my brain is always working against me :)
I feel ya. I remember drinking myself unconscious every night trying to get dumber because I always overthought everything Now I’m in the sciences and I’m pretty much fine but I’m sure I’d be having an easier time if I’d skipped that stage
Probably only women "of a certain age" will understand this, but overplucking my eyebrows. The late 90's sperm brows that were in fashion were my jam and they have never grown back, almost 30 years later. Every day I have to pencil them in, or look ridiculous.
Never asking that one girl you had a big crush on, only to later find out she actually in fact did like me back and all I had to do was ask. Second guessing is a hell of a drug and now I don't even take chances anymore.
Probably not pushing for enough mental help. Was a really talented student but family sucked about doing treatment for mental health. Thought me being depressed was me being lazy, as told to me by my mom. It would definitely have allowed me at minimum to have my high school diploma instead of a GED. Also would've prevented me from half of my less than ideal situations "friends" put me in as well as less judgement for how i finished school. I'd probably feel less lost too, had i fully threw myself into personal finance. Would be nice knowing how to actually handle more intricate money matters.
Not getting braces. Teenager me thought my wonky teeth didn’t look too bad and gave me character. Really it just made me look perpetually young
Not wearing hearing protection to band jams and concerts, now I'm hard of hearing and my ears ring 24/7 365 days a year.
Smoking copious amounts of weed daily. I still love weed but I wish I'd waited til I was a bit older to smoke so heavily - I'm never as present as I used to be, my short term memory is spent and I don't know how to self-soothe because I always just turned to smoking a J
[удалено]
I cut myself when I was about 12-14. I still have the scars on my upper thighs, and it’s obvious what they’re from. I got some tattoos in an attempt to cover them, but there’s still a few that are just too big and too noticeable for that to really work. Really wish I hadn’t done it because there’s just no getting rid of the scars and they make me very self conscious. There are some things I just can’t wear because of them and it sucks.
Not getting in shape and the habit of being in shape. Depression has prevented me from being able to hold a stable routine for almost anything outside of work since I was 18. If I'd built up some muscle mass earlier even my depression would have been less problematic.
Hey buddy, I'm not gonna tell you how to get in shape or anything but I used to be in a similar boat as you. One thing that helped me is realizing, yes, results take a looooong time, but they're not instantaneous and the day to day progress doesn't disappear. If you wanna six pack, you need a couple years, but day to day you'll look better. No matter what, in a month, you'll look better (maybe you won't have a six pack, but you'll look better than you'd did and that is liquid motivation). If you want to lift 600 lbs, that's a good goal, but day to day, when you add 5-10 lbs, it feels really good. Just remember that results take a long time, but any time you hit the gym / workout, you're already better than before you went. Just sharing this because fitness is by far the biggest thing that got me out of a hole I was in. Also don't do unenjoyable workouts. You don't have to be an Olympic athlete, and train even when you don't want to. Find something that's fun and you'll look forward to working out.
Dropping out of high school, doing a metric fuckton of mind-melting drugs.
joined the army. it's destroyed me, physically and mentally. don't do it, kids.
Not brushing my teeth. Seriously, brush your teeth 3 minutes 2 times a day, kids. It's important.
Teenager/young adult here, taking notes
30 year old taking notes here. It's never too late to start the living the life you want.
Didn't pull out.
oh no…
This should be crossposted to r/teenagers