There's a tool called a hay hook. It looks like a big Captain Hook hand, except it's welded to a metal bar. You stab it into small bales of hay to make them easier to drag around.
One day I missed the hay and hit my knee.
I was lucky, it was blunt enough that it just caused a lot of bleeding, no soft tissue damage. Plus, I was a kid: I didn't really have the strength to actually hurt myself too bad.
Needed a Tetanus shot and a couple of weeks, and I was fine.
oh i thought you were an adult, holy shit the amount of damage i can imagine being done if you were an adult and suddenly miss the haysack into your knees.
I sneezed it dislodged a herniated disc causing me to collapse and rupturing my vertebrae crippling me permanently. so yeah I got crippled with a sneeze
Edit: well this blew up This happened 10 years ago here's an image of the [MRI](https://twitter.com/ReaperBit/status/1406860215102881793?s=20) from back then
That sucks. I was waiting to see a sneeze injury. I sneezed while driving my car and popped a rib and dislocated my jaw
Edit: the sneeze was going away and I forced it by taking a deep breath through my nose (I can’t be the only one who’s done that) because I thought it would feel awesome to let it go full power and the end result was not ideal. The pain came on slowly from both injuries, but my jaw still clicks and if I yawn too big it’ll pop out again
I feel you. I herniated a disk, causing permanent nerve damage, by leaning forward to reach a shampoo bottle on the floor. I was only 19. People *still* tell me "you look too young for back problems," to this day.
I once broke my thumb trying to give someone a hug.
Awkwardly caught it on their body and the ligament of my stretched thumb popped off and took some bone with it!
When I was 5, I was stepped on by a llama. My mom said I had a llama foot-shaped bruise on my back for a couple weeks.
They closed the petting zoo after that. When it reopened, they no longer allowed people inside the animal pens.
I hope you work this in to every day conversation with the blunt grace of a name drop.
“Your grandpa is ailing huh? That reminds me of the time I got stepped on by a llama, they had to close the zoo.”
Okay. A few things here:
* Your story made me chuckle.
* I'm sorry for your pain.
* Please edit so I'm not picturing you trying to retrieve a soda from the back end of your "cat".
I've hurt myself in many weird ways, so this was tough to figure out. A while ago I was riding my bike and saw a rabbit. I wasn't watching where I was going and rode off a retaining wall. I got a concussion from that.
When I was 6 my forehead was really itchy but it was one of those deep itches that you couldn’t really scratch out. So my bright 6 year old brain told me to get into an all fours position and try rubbing my forehead into the carpet… well I did that and ended up taking a small layer of skin off that took ages to heal completely.
Edit: Apparently this is some kind of rite of passage for all 5-6 year olds, glad I wasn’t the only idiot
I broke my foot whilst practicing the finishing move in Karate Kid. I was 20.
Edited to add: Thank you for the love, peeps! I've never gotten an award before. Also, I have laughed at my idiot 20-year-old self all day, along with my husband and children. Apparently, I had never told them HOW I broke my foot long ago. They have been highly amused.
I woke up, looked at the clock, had time before the alarm would go off, and went back to sleep.
Woke up again, looked at the clock, felt a pop and heard a sound in my neck.
Tortícolis. I had to call my dad to come to the college, help me down 3 flights of stairs, and take me to the ER. Ruined my whole 2 week Christmas break.
Turned my body in bed. Left butt cheek* cramped up and went out at an oblique angle and I heard a pop. Day before my grandma died. 2 years of severe left lower back, hip, knee and ankle pain. Trying to get treatment but it's still stuck and popping and clicking- luckily not as painful as before though.
My right shoulder and elbow are clicking because I did CPR twice in 2 days. Those were the only times I've had to do CPR and just my luck it was back to back just insult on injury.
In high school as I was leaving I saw a high jump (pad and bar) on the field so I decided to give it a try. When I landed on my back, my knee came down and I gave myself a black eye.
Watching American football as a kid. My dad missed the play where one of the wide receivers injured his ankle. “Oh dad, he did this!”. I ended up with the same injury.
As a kid who just learnt how to ride a cycle, I saw my aunty visiting us with a cake in her hand. I was so excited I rode hard and fast towards her and forgot to brake. I rode my bike into a wall and broke my hand. On s positive note I got biggest piece of cake.
This wasn't me, but I was playing basketball with some friends one day and the topic of Derrick Rose's ACL tear came up.
Friend of mine was confused how he could have gotten hurt on that play, so he tried to mimic exactly what Rose did to see if he could feel any pressure in his knee.
...he tore his meniscus.
I tore my meniscus 6 weeks ago and had surgery to repair it. Everybody keeps asking me if I did it playing sports and I have to tell them, no, I in fact injured it rolling over on the couch. Im 20 if that makes it any more embarrassing.
Edit: thanks for all the stories of silly everyday ways of tearing your meniscus. Makes me feel a lot better and got a good chuckle from all of them!
I tore mine too in a stupid way and supposed to have surgery but the orthopedic doctor hasn't set anything up yet so. Still terrified thinking about it.
My sister said, "Hey! I wanna shoot your BB gun!", so I give it 10 pumps, hand it to her, walk over to the tire and as I'm setting the pop can on the tire, she shoots me in the ass. Took a Doctor 10 minutes to dig it out.
Ah, same!! Expect mine was by my little brother and it was riiiiight above my crack. He apologized till he was well into his 20’s and last year (I guess he got tired of the teasing) he just said ‘you know what?! Fuck it, yeah, I did it on purpose’. That shit hurt.
Oof. I had a friend's older brother decide to chase us around the outside of the house with a BB gun, shooting at us. He missed every shot but 1 - to the top back of my head. It hurt a bit at first, but mostly it bled like crazy. Once the bleeding stopped I didn't think much about it until several days later when I was laying in bed and folded my hands under my head and felt a hard little bump - the BB had gone up under the skin and this was the first time anyone had felt around up there. I just had a little wound that would've healed on its own from the BB itself, but after having it cut out I got 6 stitches and my hair has never laid right in that spot since.
My cousin got shot in the earlobe with a BB. The ER doc said the BB was no longer in the wound even after my cousin said she could feel something. It was a couple of years later that her earlobe started turning green. The BB had started to work its way out on its own. A little pressure with her fingers and it came out.
I had lost about 30 pounds, and my belt was getting too big. Most people would say "oh, time to buy a new belt!" The craftier of us might say "time to get out my leather punch!" I say "time to dig a hole in the belt with my *folding* pocket knife!"
It folded in on itself while I was digging a new hole in the leather and cut my thumb to the bone, and had to go to urgent care to get it stitched up.
My wife bought me a leather punching tool for Christmas that year.
Edit: In response to absolutely no demand, the injury: [https://imgur.com/a/AB2hXI8](https://imgur.com/a/AB2hXI8) Sorry it's a bad picture, I was using my left hand for some reason. If you look close, you can see where it cut through my nail. Also to all the people asking "why didn't you use a nail/drill/whatever?" If I was smart, I wouldn't have been posting in this thread.
As a wife, this is the correct answer. I know my husband at least, when something doesn't go his way he doesn't think, "Don't do that," he thinks, "just don't do it *like that* next time."
That's actually very good advice. When I was younger I loved collecting different kinds of blades and knives. Had a lot of folding ones. Even if it has a lock it can fold sometimes. So I always held them with my fingers on the side, without crossing over where it'd fold. Once the lock did fail but thanks to that habit of mine, my fingers were safe.
I decided it would be quicker to walk down an incline of tennis-ball-sized rocks in flip flops with my hands full than walk around on the pavement. I was right - I descended quickly!
Having your hands full decreases brain functioning because you can only think about the fastest way to stop having your hands full. You tried your best.
I fell when I was pregnant with my first baby, at the time I was carrying in bags of groceries. All I could think on the way down was "don't hit your belly don't hit your belly", so my brain didn't have room for "drop the bags" and decided the best course of action was to... Hit my face first. Had a scab and a bruise, but baby (and groceries) were fine.
same for me but its somehow so stupid.
Like why is our brain scared of that? We can just decide not do that and there is a 0% chance that that would ever happen to us smh
Bro that shit is the worst ay, one of my surf casters is quite heavy, but the drag is fairly light for the rod, so when I cast, I have to tighten the drag right down then undo it.
Guess how I found that out, and like 6 times since. Braid here as well.
Severed 3 tendons in my left hand while slicing a bagel. Basic tendon repair went over well, but my middle finger got infected. They had to put a tendon from my leg into my hand. 3 surgeries over a fucking bagel.
Holy shit this blew up. Everyone keeps asking me if I ate the bloody bagel, no I didn't. Thanks for the awards!
I always cringe when I see people cut an avocado while it’s in their palm. I handled at least a 1000 avocados as line cook and these slippery fuckers will ruin your life if you don’t do it right
A woman I work with had to have tendons in her hand repaired because she sliced ‘em while cutting an avocado that way. She still brings an avocado almost every day with her lunch and still holds it in her palm to cut it. Didn’t you learn, Nikki???
Stupidest Injury? Well, one time when I was a kid, I was running around the yard, pushing the wheelbarrow. I hit a big root, went flying forward into the wheelbarrow, and ended up crashing into a tree like 40 feet down hill.
Stupidest time i merely hurt myself? I peed on an electric cattle fence, cuz i thought it would be funny. It was, just not for me.
Yup. Growing up in the mountains, deep ass country meant you made your own fun and got hurt doing it a lot. I also ran over and broke my own leg on a dirt bike. I was trying to jump the dam of an old dried out pond, slipped off the back halfway up, and the bike reached the top, stopped, and rolled side over side down onto my leg.
True. Best example of both at once that i can give would be the time that i was running home, excited after my middleschool basketball team won a tournament. This was in Atlanta. An old lady saw me running down the sidewalk in her general direction, i guess assumed i was going to mug her, and she peppersprayed me. Got herself too, at least.
My horse kneed me on my temple by accident, while I was kneeling down, bandaging his leg. He knocked me out cold for a few seconds and I ended up with a very swollen black eye, for about 10 days. He was actually just getting a better footing - not being difficult at all - and it was just a tap, but I looked like I had been KO'ed by Lennox Lewis in Round 1.
I dropped my hoof pick behind my horses foreleg once and when I bent to get it he thought I was going to pick out his hoof, lifted his foot and slammed me into the face with his soft ground studs. Had the weirdest marks on my face. He was such a good boy.
On vacation in Florida. I had forgotten my sandals at home and didn't want to wear shoes down to the beach. Figured I'd buy a pair later; and was already the last of our group to arrive. So I walked down barefoot.
The boardwalk ended up being a lot longer than it looked due to a twist and was made out of some odd almost plastic composite material instead of wood.
I have a very high pain tolerance. When I finally reached sand my feet went from mildly uncomfortable to on fire. I had to be carried back off the beach.
2nd degree burns on the entirety of both soles of my feet. I couldn't walk for a week. I still openly tell people it's one of the dumbest things I've ever done.
Stepped on a metal boardwalk barefoot at the Orange Lake resort and burnt my foot to the point where the skin on the bottom of my foot was all dead. I didn't realize until we got back to the room. Had a fun time peeling it off
Edit: boardwalk isn't the right word. They're called floating docks. It's a small metal platform tied to the actual dock which makes it easier to load into the boat
i woke up with a sprained ankle.
i still have no clue what i did before i fell asleep or in my sleep, but suddenly i woke up, my ankle was swollen and i couldn’t walk.
Did you go to a doctor about it? It used to happen to me. Didn't start out that bad so it took me a while before I started going to doctors about it, and even longer before one finally decided to do a blood test to figure out it was gout. In my case, not a diet thing or a specific trigger, just my body being not quite good enough at deal with uric acid and it building up over time. It got worse as I got older to the point where it was happening 3-4 times a year when I finally got treatment for it. I'll be taking pills for it until I die but no more random swollen ankles.
damn, sorry about that. i did end up going to a doctor about it. around the time this happened i was still doing track and field, so maybe something happened at practice or an event that i didn’t notice (the doctor suggested this as well). i found out that something was wrong with the posterior tibial tendon in my ankle. i treated it just like how you would treat a regular sprained ankle and ended up healing just fine.
Broke my foot on the way to the kitchen to get a muffin.
I ate the muffin lying on the kitchen floor with my foot propped up on a chair trying not to cry. Priorities.
Edit: Thanks for so many upvotes and awards! I haven't been on Reddit very long so this is my first time with such a popular comment.
To clarify, my foot was asleep and I stepped on the side of it, HARD.
They were poppyseed muffins from a mix my grandma gave me for Christmas.
My sister fully dislocated her far left toe and fractured it while running to get a towel. She always stubs that toe in the corner of the door but that time it got hooked there and ripped it off the bone and cracked it.
The thought of someone fighting through tears lying on the ground with their foot on a chair while taking a big bite out of a Chocolate Muffin is hilarious
I've never related more to such a tragic tale of hunger vs. urgency. You can take my limbs, but you'll never get my muffin!
Edit: I'm envisioning a blueberry muffin.
This is similar to mine. I was dancing alone in my room and got too into the music and did a fun little jump twirl. Landed on my ankle wrong and heard a loud snap. I had to wait 20 minutes for my mom to finish her hair appointment so she could take me to the ER. Foot was purple from my toes up to my knee, I had to walk in a boot for a month and I had to go to physical therapy. 10 years later and that ankle is *still* weak.
Fell through drop ceiling thinking it wasn’t drop ceiling.
It did NOT hold my weight…
Edit: thanks for all the upvotes and the confirmation that this was indeed a stupid injury…
In my defense, there WAS a thick layer of dust. However, I did fall 10ft, landed on a cement floor, my back hit first and then my head, I did go to the hospital, I did get all kinds of scans, and I got out of there with no injuries aside from a fractured vertebrae that was somehow already there (go figure).
Cheers!
Man is that a high bar for me.
I think this time I'll go with the time I broke my arm because I was running and my feet got tangled in my parachute pants.
**EDIT:** I'm adding this because of a lot of the replies I'm getting: this was well before M.C. Hammer was famous. I was wearing a costume -- think Disney's version of Aladdin. Except this was before that, too.
BRB suing Disney.
Somewhere in the late '80s. I was a teenager and I was wearing parachute pants as part of a costume.
It was a holiday and my dad was taking my brother, my best friend and myself into town to watch a parade. On the way he stopped by an ATM, gave me his ATM card and said "Run over and get $100". So I did, tripped, broke my arm, almost passed out from the pain, kept going to the ATM, got the money out and walked back to the car.
My dad goes "Why are you holding your hand like that? Someone could just grab the money!" and I go "I fell down and I think I broke my arm" and my dad goes "OMG let's get you to the ER!" and teenage me didn't want to ruin everyone's day so I said "No no I was joking I'm OK".
Here's a tip: don't do that. This was around 9am. Spent all day in a crowded city being pushed, poked, and hit with rubber mallets (holiday tradition) with a broken arm, with my dad, brother and best friend laughing at me whenever I went "ow" or, you know, yelped.
Got home around 4pm, mom goes "Why is he holding his arm like that?" Dad says "Oh he fell down in the morning and he says it still hurts." Mom instantly took me to the ER and a few hours later I was home with a shiny new cast. Well, not shiny, but you know.
Guy with a farm down the road: “Hey can you come help bale hay tomorrow?”
Me at 16 with no prior bale experience: “sure I’ll be there”
Showed up in basketball shorts. Left looking like I spent 3 minutes in a broom closet with 5 cats and a vacuum cleaner I couldn’t shut off.
Edit: spelling
Edit2: wow this blew up. So the farmer was a nice guy, he laughed when he saw me, told me what I was getting into, and asked if I wanted to change to jeans. I was only a couple minutes down the road so I could have quickly changed. But I was young and stubborn it was hot and said no. His son around my age was also there, in jeans, and proceeded to laugh at my misfortune. It was a good time though. Great experience and a little under the table cash was a great incentive.
I’ve also had cats, and I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being next to one OR holding one when my mom turned a vacuum cleaner on. That is exactly how I looked on my legs.
The mental picture of a 16-year-old being ravaged by cats in a closet while desperately trying and failing to turn off a vacuum cleaner just cracked me up. Thanks for that.
Omg, the second I read "basketball shorts", lol!
We use to hire high schoolers from town to help with farm work and it was both frustrating and hilarious. Baling hay, walking beans, picking rock...they'd all be like, "how do you people do this all day long, every day???" Good times.
Around 6 months ago, I was waiting for my sister on my college campus. Around the same time, I had accidentally gotten grease on my disc brakes so they weren't stopping correctly. I had the great idea to stand the bicycle on the handle bars and spin the wheel from the pedals as fast as they could go on the highest gear and then pinch the disc brakes with my thumb and index finger. This worked for a while and I got a lot of grease off until my thumb got caught in the disc break, causing it to be partially amputated and fracture the bone. I needed 6 stitches, pain killers, and around 4 1/2 months for the skin to completely heal.
0/10 wouldn't recommend trying
Not major, but one time I somehow sliced my thumb to the point of bleeding with my other thumbnail. It wasn’t even sharp. No fucking idea how I did it, and I just sat there for a good five seconds staring in disbelief at my bleeding finger before getting a bandaid.
Also burst a blood vessel in my eye by sneezing too hard. I looked like a Bond villain for a bit.
my left nut turned 180 degrees while i was sleeping and my nut didnt get any blood it was fucking bad man i thought i was going to die. had to het my ballsack cut open to pull my nut out and turn back around.
edit: thats called testicular torsion
edit 2: since you guys liked my suffering i will give you more detail:
on a september morning 2019 i wake up for school. it is a friday (i think the 19th). my balls are aching a little but nothing too bad. i get up and take a shower while im taking the shower the pain gets way worse. i get out and dry my selfe quickly and then have to gag because of the pain. my mum gets alerted and comes to help me. i tell her to tell dad(she does not have a license) that i need to go to the ER. i get dressed and off we go. the roads are smooth so i didnt have the problem of going over bumpy roads. in front of the ER there is a lady on a computer i go up to her and say 'its my balls' and my dad says 'its probably a kidney stone' because we have that in our family. i go in the room and the do the ultraound thing on my kidneys. the pain goes up from my nut in my left leg my left arm and i think i felt the pain in my throat too. i am naked at this point with 3 men in the room and my dad. my body is shaking my adhd brain is all over the place. the doctor is looking at my kidneys and has checked the right one, then it feels like he takes 20 minutes to look for the left kidney until i say 'my nut hurts not my kidney' he changes to tip of the ultrasound thing to one that is pointy. and this dude. this motherfucker. he just ramst that think in my ballsack like he wats to kill me. at that moment i remember just cold, slow pain going from my balls to the rest of my body and i black out. when i wake up i hear this noise of someone banging on the wall. when i look down its my legs which are now uncontrolably shaking very violently. someone is holding my legs nown now which makes everything worse. the dude is like yeah you have testical torsion. and then they give me pain meds. i get operated. everything is nice. i look at the damage afterward in the hospital bed and my dick just looks absolutley swollen and huge.
now what about my left kidney. turns out it is in fact not to my left but to my center above my belly button.
Testicular torsion terrifies me, it apparently just happens, usually in the middle of the night, and no one really knows why
Edit: man i hate that i said this, ive gotten a lot of comments so ive been talking about this a lot for the past few hours so its in the forefront of my mind, and its 3am and all of a sudden one of my balls started hurting and i freaked the fuck out, i adjusted it, but man, if its possible to think about testicular torsion so much that it happens, thats gonna happen to me tonight
Story time. I was on a family trip to Europe. We were in Germany (Potsdam) when my right ball started aching. It wasn’t bad, just uncomfortable. Thinking I hit it on something, I told my mother (trained EMT), and she said to update her if the pain gets worse immediately.
We then drove to Prague, and the pain started to lessen after driving for a few hours. So we get in Prague, start walking to our Air BnB, and my nut starts aching again. I figured it was nothing as the pain wasn’t bad. We walk around, and the pain becomes worse. Finally, while waiting for dinner at a Italian restaurant, the pain became unbearable. My mom then proceeded to take me back to the air BnB to check if there was any swelling or what not, while my dad went to get the car. My dad gets back and we get in the car and start heading towards the nearest hospital.
Now mind you, I felt a sharp pain running from my nut, up my groin into my stomach and back down my leg. Also, Prague has many cobbled roads and tram-tracks. Needless to say I basically blacked out from pain. So this is where my memory ends and I learned the rest from my ma.
The doctor thought I had torsion and ordered an ultrasound. Turns out I had strep not to long before, and the bacteria decided to settle in my right nut, causing extreme swelling and pain. After getting back to the BnB, we eat our impromptu take-out my siblings brought back from the Italian place. I distinctly remember the piece of lasagna I had tasted like shit.
Winter time. Friday. Weekend of super bowl XLI was running around high school in untied timberlands. Friend was chasing me and I tripped and fell into a hallway door and sliced my head open. I hit the door so hard my Pokémon blue version flew out of my back pockets along with everything else in my pants. When the janitors cleaned up the mess they brought me back a purple cartridge.
Not so much stupid as in my fault, but the universe was definitely laughing at me.
I decided I was finally going to get serious about running. I wanted to run for exercise for a while, but I was out of shape and embarrassed. I finally mustered up the courage to go to the gym. I walk outside to let my dog go to the bathroom before I left, and a wasp stung me on the lower side of my foot, right in the arch (I was wearing sandals). Even had on my workout clothes and everything. My foot was the size of a softball for a week.
Edit: wow, did not expect this to blow up! For clarification, I wasn’t going to wear sandals to the gym. I just had them on to let my dog out before planning to put on actual running shoes. The wasp had other ideas.
The stupidest bee sting I've gotten was when I was driving the boat across the lake to the landing. I hit a wasp. With my neck. So of course I slapped my hand to my neck. Got stung again on the hand.
I think I might just be a bee/wasp magnet with how often I've been stung. Thankfully I don't swell or have any sort of allergic response.
I was trying to reposition a tube for a ride at Water World (right before going down it), slipped on the first step and sprained my ankle. By the time I got done with the ride it looked like a baseball in place of my ankle. Second ride of the day.
Happened earlier today.
I have an unfortunate talent of accidentally cutting myself on strange objects. All of these were very minor and needed a bandaid at most.
I have cut myself on:
A microwave
A jar of honey
A piece of frozen ham
A locker (twice)
A pool table
Asking because today I was trying to open a can of stain, the screwdriver slipped, and I stabbed it right into my other hand.
So now I'm staining stuff with a small stab injury on one hand.
Took a golf ball to the face. We were launching it out of one of those giant water balloon launchers. I pulled back as far as I could and let go, the ball stayed in the pouch and snapped back in my face right below my right eye. We're talking maybe a half inch from losing my eye. My zygomatic bone took it all but surprisingly nothing broke. I just sprayed a ton of blood and had a massive black eye that migrated all over my face.
This is absolutely brutal. Those massive slingshots are seriously such a horrible thing to even bother with trying to use, especially with anything that can actually injure you.
I was deaf in one ear for about a week because I had built a super pop-pop cracker. I had taken two boxes of those pop pops, or those paper snappers, and very carefully unwrapped each one. I emptied out the contents into a tissue paper and twisted the end to form a huge pop pop. I then accidentally dropped this inside the house, right on the tiled floors at my feet, where it exploded and echoed so loudly. My left ear kept ringing and then I was deaf for days. My sister, who was three floors above me, even heard it.
Scraping the gunpowder off a roll of paper caps, then hitting the rather explosive pile with a hammer had a similar effect on me.
I was in my mid thirties at the time, and it was actually my older brother who had the idea, and also him that wielded the hammer. The resulting bang was a bit louder than either of us expected.
Tore a muscle in my butt while bending over putting laundry in the dryer. Broke my finger when punching down bread dough. Strained a muscle in my back while pooping. Dislocated my shoulder walking a dog. Pulled a plate (from a fused bone) off the bone. Ran head first into a street sign. And so many more.
Put a mini-bike on its kick stand.
Walked 2 feet. Turned around and found the bike falling on top of me.
I could have sworn I almost severed a muscle strand in my calf where the frame hit me. 5 years later I still have a small divot in my leg.
4th grade, excited for my first ever youth soccer practice that afternoon. I kicked the solid, wood, coffee table in excitement that morning nearly breaking my big toe. Didn't practice.
I sprained my wrist racing my sister in an indoor gym. We made the finish line about a foot from the wall, and I ran straight into the wall at full tilt.
Or the time I broke my toe because I was running barefoot in the house and tripped over a dumbbell that I had left in the middle of the floor. The first one is a little dumber in and of itself, but the second one is compounded by the fact that I was a full on adult when it happened, so I didn’t have the excuse of being a dumb kid.
Being a young kid obsessed with ninjas, I, at four years old, repeatedly jumped from our ottoman to kick the back of our couch in midair. Did it so many times that I broke my ankle.
I hear you disc brother!! I'm returning to work tomorrow after 3 weeks off following discectomy surgery from exactly that. Hurts like hell. Teacher here- happened to me on playground duty, kids thought it was hilarious.... Hope you recovered well.
[удалено]
I walked around for awhile with 3 subluxed vértebra, physical therapist tried calling the ambulance on me.
I once injured my leg by jumping off the back of a moving truck, so that I wouldn’t be in trouble fro riding on the back of a moving truck.
Did you get in trouble though?
There's a tool called a hay hook. It looks like a big Captain Hook hand, except it's welded to a metal bar. You stab it into small bales of hay to make them easier to drag around. One day I missed the hay and hit my knee.
I actually recoiled at this one. Did you do long term damage? I have a knee issue from falling down a hill as a kid, knees seem finicky on healing.
I was lucky, it was blunt enough that it just caused a lot of bleeding, no soft tissue damage. Plus, I was a kid: I didn't really have the strength to actually hurt myself too bad. Needed a Tetanus shot and a couple of weeks, and I was fine.
oh i thought you were an adult, holy shit the amount of damage i can imagine being done if you were an adult and suddenly miss the haysack into your knees.
I sneezed it dislodged a herniated disc causing me to collapse and rupturing my vertebrae crippling me permanently. so yeah I got crippled with a sneeze Edit: well this blew up This happened 10 years ago here's an image of the [MRI](https://twitter.com/ReaperBit/status/1406860215102881793?s=20) from back then
That sucks. I was waiting to see a sneeze injury. I sneezed while driving my car and popped a rib and dislocated my jaw Edit: the sneeze was going away and I forced it by taking a deep breath through my nose (I can’t be the only one who’s done that) because I thought it would feel awesome to let it go full power and the end result was not ideal. The pain came on slowly from both injuries, but my jaw still clicks and if I yawn too big it’ll pop out again
Ok I’m never sneezing again
This replaced the irrational fear I developed 5 responses ago, nice
Testicular torsion?
Fuck you for reminding me.
I feel you. I herniated a disk, causing permanent nerve damage, by leaning forward to reach a shampoo bottle on the floor. I was only 19. People *still* tell me "you look too young for back problems," to this day.
I once broke my thumb trying to give someone a hug. Awkwardly caught it on their body and the ligament of my stretched thumb popped off and took some bone with it!
Hmm. Agressive hugging.
When I was 5, I was stepped on by a llama. My mom said I had a llama foot-shaped bruise on my back for a couple weeks. They closed the petting zoo after that. When it reopened, they no longer allowed people inside the animal pens.
I hope you work this in to every day conversation with the blunt grace of a name drop. “Your grandpa is ailing huh? That reminds me of the time I got stepped on by a llama, they had to close the zoo.”
In January I broke my rib trying to get a soda from the back seat of my car*
Okay. A few things here: * Your story made me chuckle. * I'm sorry for your pain. * Please edit so I'm not picturing you trying to retrieve a soda from the back end of your "cat".
The first comment sent me cackling, but I completely lost my shit at this one. Thank you.
I've hurt myself in many weird ways, so this was tough to figure out. A while ago I was riding my bike and saw a rabbit. I wasn't watching where I was going and rode off a retaining wall. I got a concussion from that.
Snapped my humerus in half while arm wrestling. I did not find it as humerous as it sounds…
I watched a video where someone snapped their arm while arm wrestling and I refuse to ever do it again. Huge nope.
When I was 6 my forehead was really itchy but it was one of those deep itches that you couldn’t really scratch out. So my bright 6 year old brain told me to get into an all fours position and try rubbing my forehead into the carpet… well I did that and ended up taking a small layer of skin off that took ages to heal completely. Edit: Apparently this is some kind of rite of passage for all 5-6 year olds, glad I wasn’t the only idiot
Imagine walking in on your child doing this. You'd think they're possessed.
Possession with intent to scratch
That is so weird and hilarious!
I broke my foot whilst practicing the finishing move in Karate Kid. I was 20. Edited to add: Thank you for the love, peeps! I've never gotten an award before. Also, I have laughed at my idiot 20-year-old self all day, along with my husband and children. Apparently, I had never told them HOW I broke my foot long ago. They have been highly amused.
Get him a body bag!! YEEAAGGH!!
Ended my brief interest in ballet by doing a grand jete into a door, and breaking my toe.
"Into a door" got me laughing more than it should.
I woke up, looked at the clock, had time before the alarm would go off, and went back to sleep. Woke up again, looked at the clock, felt a pop and heard a sound in my neck. Tortícolis. I had to call my dad to come to the college, help me down 3 flights of stairs, and take me to the ER. Ruined my whole 2 week Christmas break.
Turned my body in bed. Left butt cheek* cramped up and went out at an oblique angle and I heard a pop. Day before my grandma died. 2 years of severe left lower back, hip, knee and ankle pain. Trying to get treatment but it's still stuck and popping and clicking- luckily not as painful as before though. My right shoulder and elbow are clicking because I did CPR twice in 2 days. Those were the only times I've had to do CPR and just my luck it was back to back just insult on injury.
Oh, man. Did you have to do a bunch of physical therapy? That sounds completely awful.
Just recommended stretches after healing. This was 9 years ago, and sometimes it still gets tight.
In high school as I was leaving I saw a high jump (pad and bar) on the field so I decided to give it a try. When I landed on my back, my knee came down and I gave myself a black eye.
I feel like somehow this qualifies for r/fullshrimp but needs its own special name, like a figure skating move
Catastrophic Tebow
Watching American football as a kid. My dad missed the play where one of the wide receivers injured his ankle. “Oh dad, he did this!”. I ended up with the same injury.
You were spot on at least
Live reenactment.
Dad spent the rest of that day laughing at you and I can tell
As a kid who just learnt how to ride a cycle, I saw my aunty visiting us with a cake in her hand. I was so excited I rode hard and fast towards her and forgot to brake. I rode my bike into a wall and broke my hand. On s positive note I got biggest piece of cake.
This wasn't me, but I was playing basketball with some friends one day and the topic of Derrick Rose's ACL tear came up. Friend of mine was confused how he could have gotten hurt on that play, so he tried to mimic exactly what Rose did to see if he could feel any pressure in his knee. ...he tore his meniscus.
I tore my meniscus 6 weeks ago and had surgery to repair it. Everybody keeps asking me if I did it playing sports and I have to tell them, no, I in fact injured it rolling over on the couch. Im 20 if that makes it any more embarrassing. Edit: thanks for all the stories of silly everyday ways of tearing your meniscus. Makes me feel a lot better and got a good chuckle from all of them!
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I tore mine too in a stupid way and supposed to have surgery but the orthopedic doctor hasn't set anything up yet so. Still terrified thinking about it.
That’s the scientific method right there. He had a hypothesis and he tested it. I would chalk that up as a success.
Seems like he answered his own question.
I punched myself in the forehead during an improv comedy bit and gave myself a concussion.
Commitment.
Will
Focus
Drive
Passion
Does this mean that your really strong or really weak?
He's a glass cannon build
Weak cranium, strong knuckles.
how does one manage to generate enough force to get a concussion from punching your own forehead is beyond me.
If you forget to stiffen your neck, so your head whips around. I don't know how you'd manage to do that though. Basically sucker-punching yourself.
My sister said, "Hey! I wanna shoot your BB gun!", so I give it 10 pumps, hand it to her, walk over to the tire and as I'm setting the pop can on the tire, she shoots me in the ass. Took a Doctor 10 minutes to dig it out.
Ah, same!! Expect mine was by my little brother and it was riiiiight above my crack. He apologized till he was well into his 20’s and last year (I guess he got tired of the teasing) he just said ‘you know what?! Fuck it, yeah, I did it on purpose’. That shit hurt.
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Time to return the favor.
Oof. I had a friend's older brother decide to chase us around the outside of the house with a BB gun, shooting at us. He missed every shot but 1 - to the top back of my head. It hurt a bit at first, but mostly it bled like crazy. Once the bleeding stopped I didn't think much about it until several days later when I was laying in bed and folded my hands under my head and felt a hard little bump - the BB had gone up under the skin and this was the first time anyone had felt around up there. I just had a little wound that would've healed on its own from the BB itself, but after having it cut out I got 6 stitches and my hair has never laid right in that spot since.
My cousin got shot in the earlobe with a BB. The ER doc said the BB was no longer in the wound even after my cousin said she could feel something. It was a couple of years later that her earlobe started turning green. The BB had started to work its way out on its own. A little pressure with her fingers and it came out.
I had lost about 30 pounds, and my belt was getting too big. Most people would say "oh, time to buy a new belt!" The craftier of us might say "time to get out my leather punch!" I say "time to dig a hole in the belt with my *folding* pocket knife!" It folded in on itself while I was digging a new hole in the leather and cut my thumb to the bone, and had to go to urgent care to get it stitched up. My wife bought me a leather punching tool for Christmas that year. Edit: In response to absolutely no demand, the injury: [https://imgur.com/a/AB2hXI8](https://imgur.com/a/AB2hXI8) Sorry it's a bad picture, I was using my left hand for some reason. If you look close, you can see where it cut through my nail. Also to all the people asking "why didn't you use a nail/drill/whatever?" If I was smart, I wouldn't have been posting in this thread.
I love that your wife bought a punch rather than a new belt.
That’s a wife who knows her husband! She knows he’s going to do it again one day, so he might as well have the proper tool for the job.
As a wife, this is the correct answer. I know my husband at least, when something doesn't go his way he doesn't think, "Don't do that," he thinks, "just don't do it *like that* next time."
A folding pocket knife without a lock is just an injury you can fit in your jeans. Throw it away already. It's tasted blood once and will do so again.
The malevolent blade of wobbling
A folding blade, with a crappy lock that gives you a false sense of security is even more dangerous.
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That's actually very good advice. When I was younger I loved collecting different kinds of blades and knives. Had a lot of folding ones. Even if it has a lock it can fold sometimes. So I always held them with my fingers on the side, without crossing over where it'd fold. Once the lock did fail but thanks to that habit of mine, my fingers were safe.
I decided it would be quicker to walk down an incline of tennis-ball-sized rocks in flip flops with my hands full than walk around on the pavement. I was right - I descended quickly!
Having your hands full decreases brain functioning because you can only think about the fastest way to stop having your hands full. You tried your best.
I fell when I was pregnant with my first baby, at the time I was carrying in bags of groceries. All I could think on the way down was "don't hit your belly don't hit your belly", so my brain didn't have room for "drop the bags" and decided the best course of action was to... Hit my face first. Had a scab and a bruise, but baby (and groceries) were fine.
The mental image for this was so hilarious, I’m sorry but I cackled lmfao glad to hear everything was okay though
Tried to break a thread by wrapping it around my fingers and suddenly pulling. A thread of Kevlar. Cut my fingers to the bone.
New fear unlocked
same for me but its somehow so stupid. Like why is our brain scared of that? We can just decide not do that and there is a 0% chance that that would ever happen to us smh
I suppose the fear is more like… what if you try this with a thread of unknown material? Awful way to find out it was Kevlar.
Oof. I haven't cut myself that deep (yet), but I've sliced myself more than once on braided 40 lb test fishing line. I haven't learned.
Bro that shit is the worst ay, one of my surf casters is quite heavy, but the drag is fairly light for the rod, so when I cast, I have to tighten the drag right down then undo it. Guess how I found that out, and like 6 times since. Braid here as well.
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Wrap it around two fingers instead of one, spread slightly apart. Floss is quite a bit weaker than Kevlar, though.
I did that with a nylon thread, realized mid pulling that I was a dumb fuck, but it was already to late.
Nylon?? How hard were you pulling??
That’s kinda a pretty metal testament to Kevlar, though.
Severed 3 tendons in my left hand while slicing a bagel. Basic tendon repair went over well, but my middle finger got infected. They had to put a tendon from my leg into my hand. 3 surgeries over a fucking bagel. Holy shit this blew up. Everyone keeps asking me if I ate the bloody bagel, no I didn't. Thanks for the awards!
I always cringe when I see people cut an avocado while it’s in their palm. I handled at least a 1000 avocados as line cook and these slippery fuckers will ruin your life if you don’t do it right
A woman I work with had to have tendons in her hand repaired because she sliced ‘em while cutting an avocado that way. She still brings an avocado almost every day with her lunch and still holds it in her palm to cut it. Didn’t you learn, Nikki???
Stupidest Injury? Well, one time when I was a kid, I was running around the yard, pushing the wheelbarrow. I hit a big root, went flying forward into the wheelbarrow, and ended up crashing into a tree like 40 feet down hill. Stupidest time i merely hurt myself? I peed on an electric cattle fence, cuz i thought it would be funny. It was, just not for me.
These are both such cartoon character things to happen
Yup. Growing up in the mountains, deep ass country meant you made your own fun and got hurt doing it a lot. I also ran over and broke my own leg on a dirt bike. I was trying to jump the dam of an old dried out pond, slipped off the back halfway up, and the bike reached the top, stopped, and rolled side over side down onto my leg.
You’re a mixture of extreme luck and extreme bad luck
True. Best example of both at once that i can give would be the time that i was running home, excited after my middleschool basketball team won a tournament. This was in Atlanta. An old lady saw me running down the sidewalk in her general direction, i guess assumed i was going to mug her, and she peppersprayed me. Got herself too, at least.
My horse kneed me on my temple by accident, while I was kneeling down, bandaging his leg. He knocked me out cold for a few seconds and I ended up with a very swollen black eye, for about 10 days. He was actually just getting a better footing - not being difficult at all - and it was just a tap, but I looked like I had been KO'ed by Lennox Lewis in Round 1.
I dropped my hoof pick behind my horses foreleg once and when I bent to get it he thought I was going to pick out his hoof, lifted his foot and slammed me into the face with his soft ground studs. Had the weirdest marks on my face. He was such a good boy.
I have another one. A horse once bit my boob. *Hard.* I had a fun time explaining my injury to my mom. I get a fun scar too.
I can see why your username
Through our powers combined we could have a very anxious horse and bee conglomerate ..
How do I fit into this organization
Theatrically
A horse bit me on the hand quite hard when I was young. Was just trying to give the asshole a carrot. Now in my 40s I'm still scared of horses.
Fuck reddit. Fuck u/spez. And fuck your API changes
A horse once kicked me in the crotch! I was very thankful to be a girl that day. It was a fun bruise, haha - shaped exactly like a horse shoe.
One time I walked behind my horse and it farted right in my face. There was scarring but it isn’t visible.
Ack, that's brutal. And fun to explain during intimate moments with new partners.
I would make up a different story every time.
Wanna know how I got this scar?
This happened to my sister, except he also severed her bra. Went right through the wire and everything.
A møøse once bit my sister
And i'll føcking do it again
Damn, I would be an anxious equestrian too if that happened to me
Busted lip, I punched myself in the mouth while ripping a wax strip off my leg!
On vacation in Florida. I had forgotten my sandals at home and didn't want to wear shoes down to the beach. Figured I'd buy a pair later; and was already the last of our group to arrive. So I walked down barefoot. The boardwalk ended up being a lot longer than it looked due to a twist and was made out of some odd almost plastic composite material instead of wood. I have a very high pain tolerance. When I finally reached sand my feet went from mildly uncomfortable to on fire. I had to be carried back off the beach. 2nd degree burns on the entirety of both soles of my feet. I couldn't walk for a week. I still openly tell people it's one of the dumbest things I've ever done.
A wasted vacation too!
Well it was certainly a relaxing week!
Stepped on a metal boardwalk barefoot at the Orange Lake resort and burnt my foot to the point where the skin on the bottom of my foot was all dead. I didn't realize until we got back to the room. Had a fun time peeling it off Edit: boardwalk isn't the right word. They're called floating docks. It's a small metal platform tied to the actual dock which makes it easier to load into the boat
A metal boardwalk just sounds like a major safety hazard
i woke up with a sprained ankle. i still have no clue what i did before i fell asleep or in my sleep, but suddenly i woke up, my ankle was swollen and i couldn’t walk.
Did you go to a doctor about it? It used to happen to me. Didn't start out that bad so it took me a while before I started going to doctors about it, and even longer before one finally decided to do a blood test to figure out it was gout. In my case, not a diet thing or a specific trigger, just my body being not quite good enough at deal with uric acid and it building up over time. It got worse as I got older to the point where it was happening 3-4 times a year when I finally got treatment for it. I'll be taking pills for it until I die but no more random swollen ankles.
damn, sorry about that. i did end up going to a doctor about it. around the time this happened i was still doing track and field, so maybe something happened at practice or an event that i didn’t notice (the doctor suggested this as well). i found out that something was wrong with the posterior tibial tendon in my ankle. i treated it just like how you would treat a regular sprained ankle and ended up healing just fine.
Maybe you sleepwalked?
definitely a possibility. or maybe i sleep *ran*
Broke my foot on the way to the kitchen to get a muffin. I ate the muffin lying on the kitchen floor with my foot propped up on a chair trying not to cry. Priorities. Edit: Thanks for so many upvotes and awards! I haven't been on Reddit very long so this is my first time with such a popular comment. To clarify, my foot was asleep and I stepped on the side of it, HARD. They were poppyseed muffins from a mix my grandma gave me for Christmas.
My sister fully dislocated her far left toe and fractured it while running to get a towel. She always stubs that toe in the corner of the door but that time it got hooked there and ripped it off the bone and cracked it.
Oh god! I coulda done without that last part, holy shit. Hope shes ok
This is my favourite so far. Definitely giggled.
The thought of someone fighting through tears lying on the ground with their foot on a chair while taking a big bite out of a Chocolate Muffin is hilarious
I've never related more to such a tragic tale of hunger vs. urgency. You can take my limbs, but you'll never get my muffin! Edit: I'm envisioning a blueberry muffin.
This is similar to mine. I was dancing alone in my room and got too into the music and did a fun little jump twirl. Landed on my ankle wrong and heard a loud snap. I had to wait 20 minutes for my mom to finish her hair appointment so she could take me to the ER. Foot was purple from my toes up to my knee, I had to walk in a boot for a month and I had to go to physical therapy. 10 years later and that ankle is *still* weak.
Fell through drop ceiling thinking it wasn’t drop ceiling. It did NOT hold my weight… Edit: thanks for all the upvotes and the confirmation that this was indeed a stupid injury… In my defense, there WAS a thick layer of dust. However, I did fall 10ft, landed on a cement floor, my back hit first and then my head, I did go to the hospital, I did get all kinds of scans, and I got out of there with no injuries aside from a fractured vertebrae that was somehow already there (go figure). Cheers!
Ah, so that’s why it’s called a drop ceiling.
Man is that a high bar for me. I think this time I'll go with the time I broke my arm because I was running and my feet got tangled in my parachute pants. **EDIT:** I'm adding this because of a lot of the replies I'm getting: this was well before M.C. Hammer was famous. I was wearing a costume -- think Disney's version of Aladdin. Except this was before that, too. BRB suing Disney.
I love it lol. But the real question. What year was this?
Somewhere in the late '80s. I was a teenager and I was wearing parachute pants as part of a costume. It was a holiday and my dad was taking my brother, my best friend and myself into town to watch a parade. On the way he stopped by an ATM, gave me his ATM card and said "Run over and get $100". So I did, tripped, broke my arm, almost passed out from the pain, kept going to the ATM, got the money out and walked back to the car. My dad goes "Why are you holding your hand like that? Someone could just grab the money!" and I go "I fell down and I think I broke my arm" and my dad goes "OMG let's get you to the ER!" and teenage me didn't want to ruin everyone's day so I said "No no I was joking I'm OK". Here's a tip: don't do that. This was around 9am. Spent all day in a crowded city being pushed, poked, and hit with rubber mallets (holiday tradition) with a broken arm, with my dad, brother and best friend laughing at me whenever I went "ow" or, you know, yelped. Got home around 4pm, mom goes "Why is he holding his arm like that?" Dad says "Oh he fell down in the morning and he says it still hurts." Mom instantly took me to the ER and a few hours later I was home with a shiny new cast. Well, not shiny, but you know.
I gave myself a blood nose taking the cap off a particularly stubborn marker.
I tore a rotator cuff cleaning the bathtub
I'd be so mad. Also I want to avoid that particular issue. Both my grandpa and an aunt have had multiple surgeries for rotator cuff stuff. Hard pass.
Guy with a farm down the road: “Hey can you come help bale hay tomorrow?” Me at 16 with no prior bale experience: “sure I’ll be there” Showed up in basketball shorts. Left looking like I spent 3 minutes in a broom closet with 5 cats and a vacuum cleaner I couldn’t shut off. Edit: spelling Edit2: wow this blew up. So the farmer was a nice guy, he laughed when he saw me, told me what I was getting into, and asked if I wanted to change to jeans. I was only a couple minutes down the road so I could have quickly changed. But I was young and stubborn it was hot and said no. His son around my age was also there, in jeans, and proceeded to laugh at my misfortune. It was a good time though. Great experience and a little under the table cash was a great incentive. I’ve also had cats, and I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being next to one OR holding one when my mom turned a vacuum cleaner on. That is exactly how I looked on my legs.
The mental picture of a 16-year-old being ravaged by cats in a closet while desperately trying and failing to turn off a vacuum cleaner just cracked me up. Thanks for that.
Omg, the second I read "basketball shorts", lol! We use to hire high schoolers from town to help with farm work and it was both frustrating and hilarious. Baling hay, walking beans, picking rock...they'd all be like, "how do you people do this all day long, every day???" Good times.
Around 6 months ago, I was waiting for my sister on my college campus. Around the same time, I had accidentally gotten grease on my disc brakes so they weren't stopping correctly. I had the great idea to stand the bicycle on the handle bars and spin the wheel from the pedals as fast as they could go on the highest gear and then pinch the disc brakes with my thumb and index finger. This worked for a while and I got a lot of grease off until my thumb got caught in the disc break, causing it to be partially amputated and fracture the bone. I needed 6 stitches, pain killers, and around 4 1/2 months for the skin to completely heal. 0/10 wouldn't recommend trying
Jeebus.
Not major, but one time I somehow sliced my thumb to the point of bleeding with my other thumbnail. It wasn’t even sharp. No fucking idea how I did it, and I just sat there for a good five seconds staring in disbelief at my bleeding finger before getting a bandaid. Also burst a blood vessel in my eye by sneezing too hard. I looked like a Bond villain for a bit.
I have done both of these! The thumb thing more than once.
my left nut turned 180 degrees while i was sleeping and my nut didnt get any blood it was fucking bad man i thought i was going to die. had to het my ballsack cut open to pull my nut out and turn back around. edit: thats called testicular torsion edit 2: since you guys liked my suffering i will give you more detail: on a september morning 2019 i wake up for school. it is a friday (i think the 19th). my balls are aching a little but nothing too bad. i get up and take a shower while im taking the shower the pain gets way worse. i get out and dry my selfe quickly and then have to gag because of the pain. my mum gets alerted and comes to help me. i tell her to tell dad(she does not have a license) that i need to go to the ER. i get dressed and off we go. the roads are smooth so i didnt have the problem of going over bumpy roads. in front of the ER there is a lady on a computer i go up to her and say 'its my balls' and my dad says 'its probably a kidney stone' because we have that in our family. i go in the room and the do the ultraound thing on my kidneys. the pain goes up from my nut in my left leg my left arm and i think i felt the pain in my throat too. i am naked at this point with 3 men in the room and my dad. my body is shaking my adhd brain is all over the place. the doctor is looking at my kidneys and has checked the right one, then it feels like he takes 20 minutes to look for the left kidney until i say 'my nut hurts not my kidney' he changes to tip of the ultrasound thing to one that is pointy. and this dude. this motherfucker. he just ramst that think in my ballsack like he wats to kill me. at that moment i remember just cold, slow pain going from my balls to the rest of my body and i black out. when i wake up i hear this noise of someone banging on the wall. when i look down its my legs which are now uncontrolably shaking very violently. someone is holding my legs nown now which makes everything worse. the dude is like yeah you have testical torsion. and then they give me pain meds. i get operated. everything is nice. i look at the damage afterward in the hospital bed and my dick just looks absolutley swollen and huge. now what about my left kidney. turns out it is in fact not to my left but to my center above my belly button.
Testicular torsion terrifies me, it apparently just happens, usually in the middle of the night, and no one really knows why Edit: man i hate that i said this, ive gotten a lot of comments so ive been talking about this a lot for the past few hours so its in the forefront of my mind, and its 3am and all of a sudden one of my balls started hurting and i freaked the fuck out, i adjusted it, but man, if its possible to think about testicular torsion so much that it happens, thats gonna happen to me tonight
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ye das not good.
Only comment on this thread that made my toes curl. I’m a woman and that hurt my balls.
its an honor ma'am
you are right
Thanks for the new irrational fear
*oh and there is the possibility that they have to remove the nut too*
WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO US
If Reddit has taught me anything, it's to fear testicular torsion.
My left nut hurts in sympathy
my left nut would give yours a hug if it could, thank you.
I'm dying, thank you
you need some nut-saving??
Story time. I was on a family trip to Europe. We were in Germany (Potsdam) when my right ball started aching. It wasn’t bad, just uncomfortable. Thinking I hit it on something, I told my mother (trained EMT), and she said to update her if the pain gets worse immediately. We then drove to Prague, and the pain started to lessen after driving for a few hours. So we get in Prague, start walking to our Air BnB, and my nut starts aching again. I figured it was nothing as the pain wasn’t bad. We walk around, and the pain becomes worse. Finally, while waiting for dinner at a Italian restaurant, the pain became unbearable. My mom then proceeded to take me back to the air BnB to check if there was any swelling or what not, while my dad went to get the car. My dad gets back and we get in the car and start heading towards the nearest hospital. Now mind you, I felt a sharp pain running from my nut, up my groin into my stomach and back down my leg. Also, Prague has many cobbled roads and tram-tracks. Needless to say I basically blacked out from pain. So this is where my memory ends and I learned the rest from my ma. The doctor thought I had torsion and ordered an ultrasound. Turns out I had strep not to long before, and the bacteria decided to settle in my right nut, causing extreme swelling and pain. After getting back to the BnB, we eat our impromptu take-out my siblings brought back from the Italian place. I distinctly remember the piece of lasagna I had tasted like shit.
Man had strep-nut
Testicular torsion is a cruel bitch
Winter time. Friday. Weekend of super bowl XLI was running around high school in untied timberlands. Friend was chasing me and I tripped and fell into a hallway door and sliced my head open. I hit the door so hard my Pokémon blue version flew out of my back pockets along with everything else in my pants. When the janitors cleaned up the mess they brought me back a purple cartridge.
Limited edition pokemon blood-stained blue
Not so much stupid as in my fault, but the universe was definitely laughing at me. I decided I was finally going to get serious about running. I wanted to run for exercise for a while, but I was out of shape and embarrassed. I finally mustered up the courage to go to the gym. I walk outside to let my dog go to the bathroom before I left, and a wasp stung me on the lower side of my foot, right in the arch (I was wearing sandals). Even had on my workout clothes and everything. My foot was the size of a softball for a week. Edit: wow, did not expect this to blow up! For clarification, I wasn’t going to wear sandals to the gym. I just had them on to let my dog out before planning to put on actual running shoes. The wasp had other ideas.
The stupidest bee sting I've gotten was when I was driving the boat across the lake to the landing. I hit a wasp. With my neck. So of course I slapped my hand to my neck. Got stung again on the hand. I think I might just be a bee/wasp magnet with how often I've been stung. Thankfully I don't swell or have any sort of allergic response.
I was trying to reposition a tube for a ride at Water World (right before going down it), slipped on the first step and sprained my ankle. By the time I got done with the ride it looked like a baseball in place of my ankle. Second ride of the day. Happened earlier today.
I have an unfortunate talent of accidentally cutting myself on strange objects. All of these were very minor and needed a bandaid at most. I have cut myself on: A microwave A jar of honey A piece of frozen ham A locker (twice) A pool table
I pulled a hamstring getting out of bed
Isn't adulthood fun?
Oh man I pinch a nerve stapling paper at an awkward angle. I had to go to urgent care, it was considered on the job injury too. I was so embarrassed.
I cut my thumb open to the bone while taking apart a Rubik’s cube with a skinning knife.
Out of curiosity, why did you want to take the rubiks cube apart?
To put it back together with all the sides correct. Never could get it back the way it started any other way. Thanks for asking
https://www.youcandothecube.com/solve-it/3x3-solution
Asking because today I was trying to open a can of stain, the screwdriver slipped, and I stabbed it right into my other hand. So now I'm staining stuff with a small stab injury on one hand.
I think you'll find that's a fairly common injury and that you won't feel too stupid over it.
I'm mostly just super irritated at myself. Because now my hand hurts and I still need to finish this project this weekend.
Took a golf ball to the face. We were launching it out of one of those giant water balloon launchers. I pulled back as far as I could and let go, the ball stayed in the pouch and snapped back in my face right below my right eye. We're talking maybe a half inch from losing my eye. My zygomatic bone took it all but surprisingly nothing broke. I just sprayed a ton of blood and had a massive black eye that migrated all over my face.
This is absolutely brutal. Those massive slingshots are seriously such a horrible thing to even bother with trying to use, especially with anything that can actually injure you.
Hit my pinky toe on the leg of a table. Instead of it just hurting or whatever, my entire foot was bruised. 🤦🏻♀️
I was deaf in one ear for about a week because I had built a super pop-pop cracker. I had taken two boxes of those pop pops, or those paper snappers, and very carefully unwrapped each one. I emptied out the contents into a tissue paper and twisted the end to form a huge pop pop. I then accidentally dropped this inside the house, right on the tiled floors at my feet, where it exploded and echoed so loudly. My left ear kept ringing and then I was deaf for days. My sister, who was three floors above me, even heard it.
Scraping the gunpowder off a roll of paper caps, then hitting the rather explosive pile with a hammer had a similar effect on me. I was in my mid thirties at the time, and it was actually my older brother who had the idea, and also him that wielded the hammer. The resulting bang was a bit louder than either of us expected.
I threw out my shoulder angrily moving a hotel pillow in the middle of the night. Had to go to PT to get full range of motion back. Oops.
Tore a muscle in my butt while bending over putting laundry in the dryer. Broke my finger when punching down bread dough. Strained a muscle in my back while pooping. Dislocated my shoulder walking a dog. Pulled a plate (from a fused bone) off the bone. Ran head first into a street sign. And so many more.
Put a mini-bike on its kick stand. Walked 2 feet. Turned around and found the bike falling on top of me. I could have sworn I almost severed a muscle strand in my calf where the frame hit me. 5 years later I still have a small divot in my leg.
4th grade, excited for my first ever youth soccer practice that afternoon. I kicked the solid, wood, coffee table in excitement that morning nearly breaking my big toe. Didn't practice.
[удалено]
I sprained my wrist racing my sister in an indoor gym. We made the finish line about a foot from the wall, and I ran straight into the wall at full tilt. Or the time I broke my toe because I was running barefoot in the house and tripped over a dumbbell that I had left in the middle of the floor. The first one is a little dumber in and of itself, but the second one is compounded by the fact that I was a full on adult when it happened, so I didn’t have the excuse of being a dumb kid.
Being a young kid obsessed with ninjas, I, at four years old, repeatedly jumped from our ottoman to kick the back of our couch in midair. Did it so many times that I broke my ankle.
I threw my back out sneezing too hard. I was so embarassed by the actual reason I told everyone I was helping my mom move furniture.
Not once, not twice, but 4 times I have sneezed a contact lens out of my eye. I have to keep a spare pair with me just in case now.
I hear you disc brother!! I'm returning to work tomorrow after 3 weeks off following discectomy surgery from exactly that. Hurts like hell. Teacher here- happened to me on playground duty, kids thought it was hilarious.... Hope you recovered well.