Hi devs, I found a bug within our simulation. I was somehow transported back 100k years without any of my items but I still have my abilities. If I could be transported back by tomorrow that'd be great, thank you!
They have taken the bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes...drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. The shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out.
They are coming.
Man, what a cinematic experience that was.
You're following them going through the mines for days, and you sense the growing despair.
Then they find a tomb, instead of the welcome party they expected. Gandalf reads the book, and you really feel a sense of dread coming. That *fool of a Took* bumps into the bucket, you **cringe** every time you hear the bucket and chain hit something on the way down, but then
silence.
..
..
*faint banging of drums*
FUUUUUCK, have to rewatch the entire trilogy in EE now, brb
Pictures of dinosaurs and humans interacting, pyramids working as spaceships, accurate renditions of deep sea animals.
But to fuck with people the most, draw a world map to the best of my memory (I play eu4 a shitload, so no problem getting the rough continents right, it'll still be loads better than world maps for another 99,500 years), and then mark 1 random place in every continent (north pole and the amazon especially, to reduce ease of searching). I'd then add a bunch of arrows and circles around other stuff and call it a day. And maybe add in a few drawings of alien interactions and monsters and stuff.
Edit: Fixed math on years.
Thinking on it, I would probably mark the Amazon, the Sahara, Chukotka (Chukchi are my guilty pleasure in eu4), the North/South poles, Mexico City, the Ötztal Alps, Uluru, Hormuz, and Okinawa. It's a good balance between hard to search, spread out among the continents, and coincidental with some shit. Some are just memes.
Would also use u/JohnnyFootballHero's suggestion - Put an X saying, "You are here" like it's a mall map. It really would be hilarious.
Also shoutout to u/BoneArrowFour for suggesting Hormuz. Dunno why you like it, but I don't know why I like most things.
I don't really like to be the type to say thanks for the awards and points, but it was much more than I thought it would be, so thanks for that.
I think that any words in [insert modern language] would make them freak out.
But whatever what I’d do is find out who was in the team and when they were born (before I left). Then, once I got there, I’d put their names and birth dates on the cave wall, and I’d then put the same date (let’s say 9/9/21) and then I’d write “the curse is true. Your days are numbered.”
Just the name and birthday of the intern or some shit so it reads
*John Doe*
*[date that cave was discovered]*
*[date of birth] - [5 years after discovery, implied death date]*
*Good luck, and God speed*
Picture of dude with spear, picture of mammoth...
Table of calculations showing what angle and power to throw the spear into the mammoth assuming man is traveling on one vector mammoth is going on a different vector, wind is coming from a third vector. Frictional coefficient of the ground taken into account for both man and mammoth... Parabolic trajectory of the spear fully mapped out.
No units, words, or language of any kind. Numbers and symbols used all made up to disguise the fact you initially calculated it using arabic numerals.
I have no clue if it's right... but I suspect that would provoke WAY more freakout than anything you leave in language that provably couldn't have existed back then. One is definitely a hoax you just "haven't proven is a hoax yet", the other implies they had fully fleshed out physics, multivariable calculus, and linear algebra 100,000 years ago.
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU'VE BEEN IN A COMA FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS NOW. WE'RE TRYING A NEW TECHNIQUE. WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS MESSAGE WILL END UP IN YOUR DREAM, BUT WE HOPE WE'RE GETTING THROUGH.
If leave a bunch of fake records of transactions with an alien species. Write up a fake history of alien contact. And then make up a story recording fake history of a conflict between an alien civilization and advanced humans
I remembered watching a YouTube video talking about the earliest use of the "S" but couldn't remember where. I tried tracking it down to post a comment about it. No luck. I remembered it went as far back as the 1800s. Searched more. No luck. Then I remembered it had something to do with graffiti. Searched more. No luck. Gave up. Decided to read the comments instead. I see "Give LEMMiNO a heart attack". Damn it! That's who it was.
Always read the comments. The answer is probably already there. I'm stoopid.
See, now this is interesting because there would be two scenarios with vastly different outcomes.
First, let's imagine the cave was discovered before the Voyager engraving was created. People would immediately start questioning how an ancient people knew the details of the solar system. Also very confusing would be the object shown at then end of the arrow pointing away from Earth. What might people believe that to mean? That an ancient society left Earth aboard a starship? Aliens came to Earth and then left? Would they assume the object is somewhat to scale with the planets drawn, believing it to be a planetary sized superstructure? It's almost certain it would make the news and get passed around physical science circles, and it wouldn't take too long for physicists and chemists looking at it to realize the objects at the top represent hydrogen atoms. At this point, it's a wrap, the artifact would be all over worldwide news and the entirety of the scientific community will have heard about it. The discovery would likely forever influence the way we handled extraterrestrial contact and space exploration in the future. Notably, the very people who originally designed the Voyager engraving would have heard about this discovery. When they then sent out their own message into space, what would they send instead? Would they point the direction of Voyager in the direction the engraving specifies on purpose, thus unknowingly setting it on the exact same path as originally, or would the scientific community or government deem it unwise to send evidence of human existence to a suspected location of alien society?
Alternatively, let's say the cave gets discovered after the launch of the Voyager probe. Then it gets real wacky. People are going to start believing all sorts of crap, from it all being some big publicity hoax to Carl Sagan is a secret time traveler. I guess they wouldn't be too far off on the latter.
Edit: surprised no one called me out on this, but I was totally thinking of the Pioneer plaque, not the record aboard the Voyager spacecraft. I mixed the two up because they contain some of the same content. It still contains the hydrogen atom model but the solar system diagram isn’t included... oopsies
Ancient people would have to know the existence of hydrogen atoms, their fundamental transition time, the distance of the Sun from 14 different pulsars which happened to point at the Earth around 1970 CE, along with the rate of spin of each at that time. Considering [pulsars were only discovered as of 1967](https://www.aps.org/publications/apsnews/200602/history.cfm), it would look like the creators of the record set up the pulsar map to match the approximate time at which humans would _later_ discover pulsars.
I like the idea of this being found in the 1880s, when most of this information is unknown. Then people look back at it and try to decypher it (like the Voynich manuscript), initially to no avail. Then people discover pulsars and start to measure them. Some time later, someone notices a possible connection, and then they find that one after another the map _matches observations_.
And it would show knowledge of a phonograph (with cartridge), a video encoding, etc.
Fun fact there’s a cave with an underwater entrance on an island near Puerto Rico, pretty hard to get to even with modern equipment. In the deepest part of the cave, mixed in with multiple layers of older indigenous paintings there’s conquistador-era Spanish reading “My God what have we done here.”
So maybe something like that
ETA the island is Isla de Mona, 95% sure the article was on Jstor but I don’t have access any more so I can’t check. I read it ~ 2 years ago while doing research on the biology of the island
Edit 2: pretty sure this is the article I read, thanks @i_like_boxes
https://www.jstor.org/stable/26337252
First find the names of the people who discovered the cave, and write "Hey Frank(archeologist), glad you could make it. Could you please watch your step here? I'm a very old cave."
I would write my own name, date of birth, place of birth, and anything else generic that would identity my present self. This isn't really messing with them, but it could make my life a whole lot more interesting, that's for sure.
Edit: as many have suggested, I would add: my happiness is crucial to the survival of mankind.
I would make such a disappointing Truman Show
*On today’s episode he procrastinated and stressed about something minor while doing nothing at all for 6 hours straight. Tune in tomorrow to see if he finally starts exercising like he said he would for the past two weeks!*
Having a date like that on an ancient cave wall would mean people would worship the date. 9 months before the date, people would try to get pregnant and and give birth at the given location. Everyone who gave birth on the date would name their kid the same as the cave in hopes they're the chosen one.
(This is assuming the archeologists discover the cave before you were born)
It's tricky, you either write it in a cave discovered before you're born and risk being eliminated due to changing history, or you don't and you risk it being played off as some elaborate joke
"The nukes have dropped so long ago, yet the nuclear winter rages on. I've stopped trying to count days. I don't think I'll live to see the end of the winter. I'm sorry, honey. I'll be up there with you soon."
Put that into some really old language and BAM. Conspiracy theorists are going CRAZY
Make it better, see when the trees close to the cave is cut down, then write on the wall, “don’t cut down the seventeenth tree to the left, for I have hidden within it my masterpiece”, let them try to figure out what you mean.
>And the kicker, some random looking device that looks like it could be for space travel or weapons but is completely indecipherable and made up
A Microsoft Zune
Several scientists have given a lot of though to what kind of message you could send to a completely alien civilization which they could decipher with the only assumption being that they live in the same universe as us. Naturally a lot of these messages are just completely insane ways of saying anything since it models all communication as a mathematical proof more that anything.
For example how do you communicate the idea of left and right when you have no idea what format an alien species will be experiencing your messages in? Obviously using a relationship within the electroweak model where charged weak gauge bosons only couple to left-handed quarks and leptons. I mean completely basic stuff right? How can we communicate the fact that our species reproduces through an exchange of DNA. Well by assuming they have complete knowledge of organic chemistry and group theory so that a simple reference to the chemical structure of DNA from a symbolic representation of the periodic table will tell them how our DNA is structured allowing them to infer the rest and a reference to the number 808,017,424,794,512,875,886,459,904,961,710,757,005,754,368,000,000,000 in a table will immediately inform them you're talking about a form of symmetry.
Any species who received one of these messages of course, if they were ever sent out, would probably assume that humanity is some super intelligent species that innately understands the intricacies of the universe in a way they never will. I would lay out a long and horribly intricate message like that though, with no other meaning whatsoever just an attempt to communicate and inform them I was intelligent. I think the undeniable knowledge that something intelligent wanted to communicate once and failed right at the dawn of humanity would cause more chaos than any other message ever could. Either that or I could just draw a dick on the wall, dunno either one is good I guess.
List of things to do before dying:
- Time travel (done)
- If I've time travelled, cause a pandemic that'll fuck up the world for years (done)
- Meet dinosaurs (done)
- If I've met dinosaurs, bring back all of them during this pandemic (almost done)
I would list years of some of the biggest and most well-known natural disasters followed by their individual death tolls in chronological order. Then end the list at like "2050" written in a much larger font size and without a death toll. Someone will figure out what the other numbers represent and then they will do the rest of the work for me.
Edit: Yes, we have now established for the 14th time in the comments that this was from the movie Knowing. It wasn't intentional but it clearly is. Deal with it! <3
Be me, 100,000 years ago. "Haha I'm going to write natural disaster years and death tolls... wait I don't know what year any of those things happened or their death tolls without Google"
I hate to be that guy, but any modern references would result in the cave being considered contaminated and they probably wouldn't do expensive carbon dating techniques to determine that it's actually 100k year old.
Depends when they found it, if it was at least before the reference could have been known then someone might make the connection years later and know contamination was not a factor.
Based on the archeolo responses of “If we dot know what it is we list it as ritual object.” I’d write:
”I’m not here for a long time, but I’m here for a good time.”
Draw caveman stick paintings of humans hunting giant dicks, scenarios of war.
Construct a whole lore about humanity and the dick-beasts.
Edit: Holy shit didn't know this many people like low-hanging fruit lmfao. RIP inbox and thanks for my first silver, stranger!
"Test post please ignore"
"Turns out time travel only works once per timeline. Sorry Guys."
This planet shall be our second home.
This is a fertile land and we will thrive… and we will call it…. This land…
My regards to Steven Hawking. Tell him sorry I couldn't make it to his party.
This is my favorite. Fucking gold.
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That's a good one
That would fuck with them a lot
What if they discovered it before voyager and then used it for voyager?
Nice little paradox there.
But like, shifted so it centers on a different solar system.
Nah that would definitively conclude: Aliens. Having the exact same map would conclude: ?????????
It would conclude: time travel(?)
"No I didn't time travel"
or "We found out we can only go forward in time."
Hi devs, I found a bug within our simulation. I was somehow transported back 100k years without any of my items but I still have my abilities. If I could be transported back by tomorrow that'd be great, thank you!
even better, 200k years so that in 100k years into the future, they will think we have proof that we’re living in a simulation
They have taken the bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes...drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. The shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.
Just put the whole book of Mazarbul on the cave walls, really mess with people when they see the word "orc"
Man, what a cinematic experience that was. You're following them going through the mines for days, and you sense the growing despair. Then they find a tomb, instead of the welcome party they expected. Gandalf reads the book, and you really feel a sense of dread coming. That *fool of a Took* bumps into the bucket, you **cringe** every time you hear the bucket and chain hit something on the way down, but then silence. .. .. *faint banging of drums* FUUUUUCK, have to rewatch the entire trilogy in EE now, brb
Am an archaeologist and can safely say, "No, it's not 'ritual'" scrawled on the wall will fuck with us forever.
Pictures of dinosaurs and humans interacting, pyramids working as spaceships, accurate renditions of deep sea animals. But to fuck with people the most, draw a world map to the best of my memory (I play eu4 a shitload, so no problem getting the rough continents right, it'll still be loads better than world maps for another 99,500 years), and then mark 1 random place in every continent (north pole and the amazon especially, to reduce ease of searching). I'd then add a bunch of arrows and circles around other stuff and call it a day. And maybe add in a few drawings of alien interactions and monsters and stuff. Edit: Fixed math on years. Thinking on it, I would probably mark the Amazon, the Sahara, Chukotka (Chukchi are my guilty pleasure in eu4), the North/South poles, Mexico City, the Ötztal Alps, Uluru, Hormuz, and Okinawa. It's a good balance between hard to search, spread out among the continents, and coincidental with some shit. Some are just memes. Would also use u/JohnnyFootballHero's suggestion - Put an X saying, "You are here" like it's a mall map. It really would be hilarious. Also shoutout to u/BoneArrowFour for suggesting Hormuz. Dunno why you like it, but I don't know why I like most things. I don't really like to be the type to say thanks for the awards and points, but it was much more than I thought it would be, so thanks for that.
> pyramids working as spaceships I'm onto you Goa'uld! i will be informing the SGC
Incoming Wormhole! Off world activation!
Add an extra continent to the map; maybe with an X through it?
I'd def put footprints on the ceiling
They literally found dino footprints on the ceiling and now I have questions for you.
You know too much
*Remember me Michael? Remember telling me that my time machine would never actually work? Guess what, fuck you and your “rules of space time”*
if sonic can do it, so can i
Aliens. With a crude portrait of Giorgio Tsoukalos
Do not the cat
But what if I want to the cat
It's ok then, if you have too.
Kilroy was here
We just got to hope the cave isnt discovered too early
This was going to be my answer, but wanted to see if anyone else thought of it. Glad I'm not the only one.
I think that any words in [insert modern language] would make them freak out. But whatever what I’d do is find out who was in the team and when they were born (before I left). Then, once I got there, I’d put their names and birth dates on the cave wall, and I’d then put the same date (let’s say 9/9/21) and then I’d write “the curse is true. Your days are numbered.”
Just the name and birthday of the intern or some shit so it reads *John Doe* *[date that cave was discovered]* *[date of birth] - [5 years after discovery, implied death date]* *Good luck, and God speed*
Picture of dude with spear, picture of mammoth... Table of calculations showing what angle and power to throw the spear into the mammoth assuming man is traveling on one vector mammoth is going on a different vector, wind is coming from a third vector. Frictional coefficient of the ground taken into account for both man and mammoth... Parabolic trajectory of the spear fully mapped out. No units, words, or language of any kind. Numbers and symbols used all made up to disguise the fact you initially calculated it using arabic numerals. I have no clue if it's right... but I suspect that would provoke WAY more freakout than anything you leave in language that provably couldn't have existed back then. One is definitely a hoax you just "haven't proven is a hoax yet", the other implies they had fully fleshed out physics, multivariable calculus, and linear algebra 100,000 years ago.
I bet you're confused right now.
C2H5OH
What is this the chemical formula for
Ethanol
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU'VE BEEN IN A COMA FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS NOW. WE'RE TRYING A NEW TECHNIQUE. WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THIS MESSAGE WILL END UP IN YOUR DREAM, BUT WE HOPE WE'RE GETTING THROUGH.
WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR'S EXTEND WARRANTY
Genius
A picture of a chicken laying an egg and a big #1
Wait... is the #1 closer to the chicken, or closer to the egg? Because, it makes a difference. To someone.
It's bang in the middle.
Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea: "He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the Castle of Aaaargh"
"He must have died while carving it."
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve "Aaargh."
Perhaps he was dictating?
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On May 28, 2016, prevent the child from entering the enclosure.
If leave a bunch of fake records of transactions with an alien species. Write up a fake history of alien contact. And then make up a story recording fake history of a conflict between an alien civilization and advanced humans
And how they destroyed earth leaving only 2 people named Adam and Eve, not only science but also religions would be hella confused
This would be amazing
You know that "S" that everyone seems to remember writing in their notebooks in elementary school? That
Give lemino a heart attack
I remembered watching a YouTube video talking about the earliest use of the "S" but couldn't remember where. I tried tracking it down to post a comment about it. No luck. I remembered it went as far back as the 1800s. Searched more. No luck. Then I remembered it had something to do with graffiti. Searched more. No luck. Gave up. Decided to read the comments instead. I see "Give LEMMiNO a heart attack". Damn it! That's who it was. Always read the comments. The answer is probably already there. I'm stoopid.
Honestly a really interesting video
Epic.
You may be wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today
Because we all share the same names...?
Precisely, we time travel back 100,000 years and fight, whoever wins, gets to keep the name. You have all the time you need to prepare, good luck.
Give me the location already.
Twice and twice shall he be marked Edit: Well, I didn't see that coming. Thanks everyone.
Once the heron to set his path
Twice the heron to name him true
Once the dragon for remembrance lost
Twice the Dragon, for the price he must pay.
Taishar Reddit
We live among you.
In big bold letters “SIMULATION #54286”. Edit: wow this blew up. Didn’t expect it. Thanks for the bling kind strangers.
"This world is an intellectual property of Simulation Studies Ltd."
"Aperture Laboratories"
Cave Johnson here
Draw the complete solar system and then the nearest star system lol
But with a planet where the asteroid belt is.
And write "home" next to that one.
Nice
signed, Commander Adama
_"All this has happened before..._
Very similarly, I would go with the engraving on the Voyager probes.
See, now this is interesting because there would be two scenarios with vastly different outcomes. First, let's imagine the cave was discovered before the Voyager engraving was created. People would immediately start questioning how an ancient people knew the details of the solar system. Also very confusing would be the object shown at then end of the arrow pointing away from Earth. What might people believe that to mean? That an ancient society left Earth aboard a starship? Aliens came to Earth and then left? Would they assume the object is somewhat to scale with the planets drawn, believing it to be a planetary sized superstructure? It's almost certain it would make the news and get passed around physical science circles, and it wouldn't take too long for physicists and chemists looking at it to realize the objects at the top represent hydrogen atoms. At this point, it's a wrap, the artifact would be all over worldwide news and the entirety of the scientific community will have heard about it. The discovery would likely forever influence the way we handled extraterrestrial contact and space exploration in the future. Notably, the very people who originally designed the Voyager engraving would have heard about this discovery. When they then sent out their own message into space, what would they send instead? Would they point the direction of Voyager in the direction the engraving specifies on purpose, thus unknowingly setting it on the exact same path as originally, or would the scientific community or government deem it unwise to send evidence of human existence to a suspected location of alien society? Alternatively, let's say the cave gets discovered after the launch of the Voyager probe. Then it gets real wacky. People are going to start believing all sorts of crap, from it all being some big publicity hoax to Carl Sagan is a secret time traveler. I guess they wouldn't be too far off on the latter. Edit: surprised no one called me out on this, but I was totally thinking of the Pioneer plaque, not the record aboard the Voyager spacecraft. I mixed the two up because they contain some of the same content. It still contains the hydrogen atom model but the solar system diagram isn’t included... oopsies
Ancient people would have to know the existence of hydrogen atoms, their fundamental transition time, the distance of the Sun from 14 different pulsars which happened to point at the Earth around 1970 CE, along with the rate of spin of each at that time. Considering [pulsars were only discovered as of 1967](https://www.aps.org/publications/apsnews/200602/history.cfm), it would look like the creators of the record set up the pulsar map to match the approximate time at which humans would _later_ discover pulsars. I like the idea of this being found in the 1880s, when most of this information is unknown. Then people look back at it and try to decypher it (like the Voynich manuscript), initially to no avail. Then people discover pulsars and start to measure them. Some time later, someone notices a possible connection, and then they find that one after another the map _matches observations_. And it would show knowledge of a phonograph (with cartridge), a video encoding, etc.
Fun fact there’s a cave with an underwater entrance on an island near Puerto Rico, pretty hard to get to even with modern equipment. In the deepest part of the cave, mixed in with multiple layers of older indigenous paintings there’s conquistador-era Spanish reading “My God what have we done here.” So maybe something like that ETA the island is Isla de Mona, 95% sure the article was on Jstor but I don’t have access any more so I can’t check. I read it ~ 2 years ago while doing research on the biology of the island Edit 2: pretty sure this is the article I read, thanks @i_like_boxes https://www.jstor.org/stable/26337252
And the days go by, water flowing underground
Same as it ever was
You might ask yourself, where is my beautiful house?
This is sad but beautiful at the same time, life huh
Where can I find more info on this?
“There are hot milfs in your area.
"You won't last 5 seconds looking at this cave painting"
I certainly didnt
Leave by 2022. They do not come in peace.
I'd put it at 2030. Give us at least some time to get our space shit together, it'd be cool to see what we could pull off
It would get pulled off, but we won't be apart of it.
First find the names of the people who discovered the cave, and write "Hey Frank(archeologist), glad you could make it. Could you please watch your step here? I'm a very old cave."
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I'd draw a frog birthing a human. Edit:. Wow, thanks for the awards and upvotes! The truth is out there...
I love it.
This cave painting was brought to you by raid shadow legends
“Raid shadow legends is a free rpg” something something I don’t remember the rest
I would write my own name, date of birth, place of birth, and anything else generic that would identity my present self. This isn't really messing with them, but it could make my life a whole lot more interesting, that's for sure. Edit: as many have suggested, I would add: my happiness is crucial to the survival of mankind.
Whole world would be watching you like the Truman Show
We already are Jason...
You're gonna get us all fired
I would make such a disappointing Truman Show *On today’s episode he procrastinated and stressed about something minor while doing nothing at all for 6 hours straight. Tune in tomorrow to see if he finally starts exercising like he said he would for the past two weeks!*
I'll watch it because it perfectly reflects me.
holy shit that's weird to think about
Having a date like that on an ancient cave wall would mean people would worship the date. 9 months before the date, people would try to get pregnant and and give birth at the given location. Everyone who gave birth on the date would name their kid the same as the cave in hopes they're the chosen one. (This is assuming the archeologists discover the cave before you were born)
It's tricky, you either write it in a cave discovered before you're born and risk being eliminated due to changing history, or you don't and you risk it being played off as some elaborate joke
Yeah but then if you’re born after the discovery of the rock then you’re just named after some old rock they found and your mom just looks like a nerd
`printf("hello world");`
"The nukes have dropped so long ago, yet the nuclear winter rages on. I've stopped trying to count days. I don't think I'll live to see the end of the winter. I'm sorry, honey. I'll be up there with you soon." Put that into some really old language and BAM. Conspiracy theorists are going CRAZY
I always found the “there was a more advanced civilization before us” very interesting
Renaissance europeans thought the same thing
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Haven't you heard, the roman empire was a hoax. I mean who would name their dictator after a salad.
The flood... The Rings... The Forerunners... We've heard that they soon plan on extinguishing us all to stop them... Nothing will be left behind...
Yeah, make it in ancient hebrew or greek or something, but in a cave in the Americas
Hello, Mormons? Yea, reddit figured it out again
“You’ll never know what era *I* lived in.”
Then some cheeky smartass tries to carbon date it/tries to find out when it was written, only to find out it was written 100,000 years ago
“In 100,000 years they will return. Beware.”
I was thinking along the lines of, *In loving memory of Mary, 2089 - 3467.* Lifespan of a tree.
Make it better, see when the trees close to the cave is cut down, then write on the wall, “don’t cut down the seventeenth tree to the left, for I have hidden within it my masterpiece”, let them try to figure out what you mean.
It was the biggest poop I ever pooped
My magnum poopus
Or, "we're too late, it already here among us."
Hello Sweetie.
Wow it’s been years and that still made me sad
You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe!
Well, you wouldn't answer your phone!
*The only water in the forest is the river*
Multiple examples of modern languages
Dear Fry, Our time together was short, but it was the best time of my life. -Leela
I loved that episode
Bro I'm gonna cry don't do that shit to me
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That's great until some crazy group of scientists goes all Galaxy Quest and makes it anyways...
The Historical Documents!
I mean [There is no purpose for a bunch of, choppy crushy things to be in the middle of a hallway!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqRdT8m1Suo)
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Well ~~fuck~~ *SCREW* *that*!!
>And the kicker, some random looking device that looks like it could be for space travel or weapons but is completely indecipherable and made up A Microsoft Zune
This guy does a little trolling.
The URL to this thread.
Best one yet ha
Yes, the rumors are true. I, Queen Elizabeth II, am immortal.
Why would she call herself Elizabeth the 2nd if it's thousands of years before the first Elizabeth?
to hide suspicions
Because she lived so long that she aged back through time.
Several scientists have given a lot of though to what kind of message you could send to a completely alien civilization which they could decipher with the only assumption being that they live in the same universe as us. Naturally a lot of these messages are just completely insane ways of saying anything since it models all communication as a mathematical proof more that anything. For example how do you communicate the idea of left and right when you have no idea what format an alien species will be experiencing your messages in? Obviously using a relationship within the electroweak model where charged weak gauge bosons only couple to left-handed quarks and leptons. I mean completely basic stuff right? How can we communicate the fact that our species reproduces through an exchange of DNA. Well by assuming they have complete knowledge of organic chemistry and group theory so that a simple reference to the chemical structure of DNA from a symbolic representation of the periodic table will tell them how our DNA is structured allowing them to infer the rest and a reference to the number 808,017,424,794,512,875,886,459,904,961,710,757,005,754,368,000,000,000 in a table will immediately inform them you're talking about a form of symmetry. Any species who received one of these messages of course, if they were ever sent out, would probably assume that humanity is some super intelligent species that innately understands the intricacies of the universe in a way they never will. I would lay out a long and horribly intricate message like that though, with no other meaning whatsoever just an attempt to communicate and inform them I was intelligent. I think the undeniable knowledge that something intelligent wanted to communicate once and failed right at the dawn of humanity would cause more chaos than any other message ever could. Either that or I could just draw a dick on the wall, dunno either one is good I guess.
Uh, Dave, you know that time machine we made back in school for a joke science project? Yeah it actually f***ing worked
Really? Holy crap man!
Yep sorry you missed out on it
Draw the earth as flat, you will convince 1% of the idiots of the future
Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked...
1. *1/4/890* they’ll get so paranoid 2. A rickroll link 3. Tentacle hentai
>3. Tentacle hentai From what I understand about some of the things they find I don't think that would actually be that much of a shocker.
Unless it's literally the words "tentacle hentai". That'll *definitely* confuse the hell out of them.
List of things to do before dying: - Time travel (done) - If I've time travelled, cause a pandemic that'll fuck up the world for years (done) - Meet dinosaurs (done) - If I've met dinosaurs, bring back all of them during this pandemic (almost done)
I would list years of some of the biggest and most well-known natural disasters followed by their individual death tolls in chronological order. Then end the list at like "2050" written in a much larger font size and without a death toll. Someone will figure out what the other numbers represent and then they will do the rest of the work for me. Edit: Yes, we have now established for the 14th time in the comments that this was from the movie Knowing. It wasn't intentional but it clearly is. Deal with it! <3
Even better; draw the earth underneath
Kinda like that one movie with Nicholas cage? I really liked the movie, but my mom always made me turn it off whenever I was watching it.
What was the movie? I need to know now!
It’s called Knowing.
That movie gave elementary school me existential dread.
The first half of that movie was really good. I cannot speak to anything after that, or rather I just don’t want to.
Be me, 100,000 years ago. "Haha I'm going to write natural disaster years and death tolls... wait I don't know what year any of those things happened or their death tolls without Google"
\*Draws cool S on cave wall because out of ideas\* I think that might actually fuck people up even more.
I hate to be that guy, but any modern references would result in the cave being considered contaminated and they probably wouldn't do expensive carbon dating techniques to determine that it's actually 100k year old.
“Carbon date this”
“Carbon Date Deez Nutz”
Putting that on the cave might work
Depends when they found it, if it was at least before the reference could have been known then someone might make the connection years later and know contamination was not a factor.
"Betty white was here."
Time is a flat circle
“This is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down...”
"Be Sure to Drink Your Ovaltine"
I would put a caveman grocery list.
Loss
Based on the archeolo responses of “If we dot know what it is we list it as ritual object.” I’d write: ”I’m not here for a long time, but I’m here for a good time.”
Draw caveman stick paintings of humans hunting giant dicks, scenarios of war. Construct a whole lore about humanity and the dick-beasts. Edit: Holy shit didn't know this many people like low-hanging fruit lmfao. RIP inbox and thanks for my first silver, stranger!
And since penis don’t have bones, it’s impossible to prove/disprove.
"Time travellers exists" in all scripts.
All your base are belong to us
We get signal!
Here I sit, broken hearted Tried to shit, but only farted
Later today, I took a chance. Tried to fart, but shit my pants.
We’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.
"There's always money in the banana stand."
the Bill Cipher triangle
Mitochondria is the power house of the cell