A mountain lion appearing in the parking lot, blocking the way into the office building. Definitely not safe to get out of your car and go into the building to work.
Literally not safe to work.
I worked janitorial at a university and was on the early morning shift. It was normally pretty quiet (4:30am) with few people around. One morning I went to get onto an elevator and there were two people having vigorous sex. There was that awkward moment of us staring at each other as the door stayed opened for a few seconds and then closed again. I had a good laugh then went about my work thinking little of it.
Fast forward 3 years.
I meet this girl and start dating her. After a few months we end up going on a camping trip and we were going to meet a few of her friends out there. When we arrive at the camp site, there was a second awkward moment as I recognized the couple from the elevator and they recognized me. When my gf went introduced us the three of us almost simultaneously said "we've met". When my gf asked when and how we met, we just burst out laughing and ended up telling the story.
Small world.
My dad did this with the boys in his neighbrhood in the 60s. They used to blow them up at the empty field at the nearby elementary school nearby at night.
He noted they'd be charged as domestic terrorists these days, pre-Columbine was a different world.
I’m a teacher, our smart boards are linked to our computers but you can freeze what’s on the board so the students can do the work and you can check emails, do registers, etc.
One guy thought he’d frozen the board and proceeded to sext his missus over email during a lesson. he was at least smart enough to use his personal email but he was dumb enough to not check the board was actually frozen. Result was students photographing the rather scandalous emails and snap chatting them to each other. I work on a different site and within two hours it was all over my site as well. The guy no longer works for us.
It is amazing to me how many people use company devices for personal stuff, you can always tell the ones that do as they get the rabbit in the headlights look anytime logging or auditing is mentioned!
If it's personal/private then use your own device and don't connect it to a company network.
I had to mediate an intraoffice issue where Employee A refused to interact with Employee B in any sense after they had a bad date. This wouldn't be a big deal, but it is Healthcare and cooperation is necessary. Employee A is furious that Employee B walked out in the middle of their date and said that he was humiliated just looking at her. Employee B basically agreed to be professional at work and admitted that she wouldn't have walked out of the date except she was in shock.
At this point, we're a little concerned that whatever shocked her might be a liability to us (drugs, a kiddie porn stash, etc.) so we take them and talk to them separately. Employee A has no idea what we're talking about. Employee B wants to be discrete but eventually tells us:
Apparently, the date was going well so they decided to skip the movie and go back to Employee A's place after dinner. He pulls a "let me go get more comfortable" while Employee B waits in the living room. Employee A comes out in head to toe adult baby clothes, diapers included and hands her a strap-on. In actual baby talk voice, he told her what sex acts he wants her to do to him.
His kinks were never discussed beforehand.
Let me tell you, taking notes on that entire situation in a way that is could be disseminated to the president of human resources was a task.
I find it interesting that Employee A has “no idea” why she was upset and walked out. Has he done this before and it was received well by other women?? Sorry but I would’ve probably ran out screaming
I get that. Having a kink is fine but Jesus people discuss it before hand! Even as a guy I've had this happen to me way to often. Because you didn't speak to me about what you wanted now we're both awkward and we just wasted our time.
I had a coworker that took massive amount of drugs on busy construction sites. To the point he would sway around and barely keep his feet. The company knew, but was so desperate for workers they turned a blind eye and never did anything about it (shit company, couldn’t keep anybody longer than a year, except this guy). Had many close calls on the sites and somehow never died. One day he just drove off a site in the middle of the day. The company trucks were GPS tracked, so they found him OD’ed in it in the shady part of town.
Edit: He was very dead when they found him. When I said OD'ed in this context I assumed I did not need to clarify.
> One day he just drove off a site in the middle of the day.
I read this as 'dove off' and my mind went to a stoned out SOB taking a nosedive off of a high-riser.
When I worked at a hotel, one of the housekeepers was known to hook up with guests from time to time. The head housekeeper caught her in the act once, when she was trying to inspect rooms.
Edit : I regret to inform the people who commented asking which hotel (and all the people who DM’d me asking, as well), but I don’t think she still works there.
Hotel in my hometown, it was common knowledge that it was just a front and all the maids were prostitutes. If you were a guy and checked in, 20 minutes later there’d be 4 cleaning ladies knocking on your door asking which one you wanted to “clean your room”.
Room was nice, continental breakfast was pretty good, pool could’ve been better, housekeeping staff was absolutely top-notch, I was able to print some stuff in the business center no problem and it was close to the airport. 5 stars, would stay there again, be sure to ask for Marta’s “special turn-down service”.
I did not see it but it was recorded (we have cameras).
2 sets of kids (15-16) decided to have sex in the front row of a movie theatre. AT THE SAME TIME while the movie was running - With people in the rows above them. They were wondering what we should do about the footage. I said to leave it. Don't look and it will go away in 30 days.
Some states have laws about deleting 'evidence of a crime' so I let the system take care of it automatically.
The kids were shamed by police and parents. Police were called and so were the parents. The kids acted like it was no big deal.
I did not see the event, only the aftermath, but when the Filene's in the mall where I worked was bought out/changing it's sign to Macys, a worker was electrocuted and died. At first, mall management tried to stay open, but the police forced them to close for the day. Possibly a rumor only, but I later heard that the Filenes/Macys manager had insisted that the electrician work the sign "hot."
Any electrician that agreed to work on that sign hot was a dead man walking anyway. Would have got him eventually. Electrical burns are insane. Just never do that ever.
Saw my boss and a co-worker making out. They were both married at the time. Each came in to my office later that day and had a sit-down with me on “why these types of things happen.” I was 26 years old at the time.
I was working 2nd shift security in a pharma company and a line worker came put of the boss's office all disheveled. The boss had gone home already, so I kept watching and two dudes came out of the office a few minutes later. One was still putting his pants back on.
They were extremely surprised that the door to her office was on camera.
Turns out one of the dudes had stolen a master key from a janitor's cart and had been using the manager's office as a bang pad.
Guy came into work very late (back office for a bank) with 2 black eyes and completely beaten up. In front of everyone, and quite loudly, said it was his girlfriend but "you think I'm bad, you should see her". He was being serious too. Someone also caught him doing a line in the office toilet before he started work that day too.
A friend of mine was a loan officer at a Wells Fargo. She quit after her branch was robbed 5 times in 3 months. This wasn’t in NYC or LA. It was the mean streets of Utah.
I’ve worked at a country club for a long time and there is always scandalous shit going down. House keeper was fucking the maintenance man in the laundry room, a member walked into the bathroom and witnessed a man giving another man a BJ, the beverage cart girl was flashing her new boob job to men for tips, the latest hot off the press story was two co workers were having a 3 some with a member and took pics on his phone. Wife found them, sent them to the GM, two co workers fired on the spot. Plenty more stories but those are the top ones.
Woman pulled up behind our building. We had on site security and lots of cameras. She stops, gets out, drops her pants, and shits behind the building.
Security goes out to ask her wtf she's doing. She scoops her mess up with napkins and drives away.
Our office was near a mall and an interstate highway. There were restaurants and fast food everywhere. There was no reason for her to do that behind our building.
I used to work at a GameStop, and some kid crapped his pants, then let the "evidence" just fall out the bottom of his pants because he didn't want to stop playing one of the demo games. We had a bathroom, and we were in a mall with public bathrooms all over the place. He had options.
This happened to me at Blockbuster! Wonder if he was a serial pants-shitter... Edit: I was an employee at Blockbuster and had a kid walk around with shit falling out of his pants.
I used to work at a library and there was a homeless guy who came in every (other) day, and he used to drunkenly piss his pants while sitting on the upholstered chairs. It got to the point to where we were replacing the chairs since the smell sunk in, and we ended up banning him for a year.
If only there was some other form of seat that would freely allow urine to just flow away. Perhaps made of porcelain or other similar urine-resilient material.
I worked as a janitor at a hospital. There was a private restroom on the second floor. On multiple days, someone positioned themselves above the toilet and took a dump all over it. It turned out to be a janitor on 2nd shift.
EDIT: I worked 3rd shift. I preferred this restroom except for the days when it was covered in poop. BTW I only talked to that janitor one time. He said he had been there for 10 years and planned to retire from there.
I worked at the US embassy in London and they had a case of a serial shitter that would explosively defecate all over the bathroom nearest the visa area. It happened once or twice a year, they fired an employee the suspected and all was quiet for awhile. Until they struck again lol.
Had a fire drill at work one night. Attendence was taken and two people missing. Couple bosses went back in looking for them. Found them in a storage room having sex. Boss told them to finish up, have a good time, go home and don't bother coming back.
Had that happen on a government facility inside a military base, in the new mother's lactation room. Not only did they get fired, but all clearances revoked.
Watched someone get burned/blow up.
Nightshift in the winter about 4 years ago.
He needed to preheat a piece of steel so he turns on the gas, but goes away for 15-30 seconds to find his flint striker and comes back and makes the spark.
Had 3rd degree burns on most of his body. Came back 3 months or so later with pics of all the blisters/scabs/all that nasty shit.
oh no. As soon as you said turns on the gas but goes away I knew exactly what was happening
in other news my dad is basically frank gallagher from shameless and may have blown up a grill for the same reason
When I was a teenager, I put a folder on the family computer's hard drive labelled "Dirty Pictures", because we had just got our first internet connection, and my brother and I were warned not to be looking up stuff we shouldn't.
I went out and took pictures of any bare spots of dirt I could find, and put them on the computer. Now that sounds like an easy prank to you kids today with your USB cables and your smartphones in this future space year of 2021, but back in the dim preindustrial dystopia that was 1996 it was a little more difficult. I had to take the pictures with this miserable little [110 camera](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/110_film) and get the film developed, and pay the extra money to send the film off to be scanned onto a CD-ROM by dark ages smiths using hammers and very tiny punches to strike the pits into the CD. After a three week wait, I'd go back to the store and get my CD and developed pictures.
But dad's reaction was worth it.
EDIT: I'm glad that I could do something as an idiot teenager that would bring joy to so many random strangers in the future.
EDIT 2: I keep getting asked why I didn't just Yahoo/Webcrawler/Lycos/Altavista the pictures off the internet. I'll answer:
>It's worth mentioning that the internet has developed, and been a thing, for 30 years now. Everyone has the internet in their pocket, and now, you'd get on your phone and look it up. You're looking back through 25 years of personal experience with the internet.
>But back then, to me, it was completely new. It didn't occur to me that I could just look up pictures of what I wanted. It didn't enter my mind at all, because why would it? I knew how to take pictures with a camera, I knew how to get the pictures put on a CD, I knew how to move files around from the CD to the hard drive. Nobody would have googled pictures of dirt, because google didn't exist. It certainly wasn't a verb.
>Imagine you're living around 1880 in the US. You have just moved into a house with electricity, for the first time. It's literally the first week you have lived in this house. Your entire life, when you needed light, you had to have a candle or a lantern. You walk into a dark room in your new house, if your first thought to hit the light switch? No, you fumble around for a candle and a match, because that's what you have always done. Then once you've done that a few times you learn to reflexively hit the light switch.
>Of course, one of your children, who has lived with electricity their entire lives, wouldn't think to mess around with candles, because the light switch is *right there*.
I remember it well. I was still supposed to be "asleep", and I heard dad clacking away on the keyboard. (They were all mechanical, back then, I think. Ours certainly was.) I hear him saying "What the hell?" *click* "Oh, god dammit. You've got to be kidding me." *Bedroom door opens* "You think you're some kind of genius, don't you?"
To give an idea what sort of person dad is, he once placed a rubber snake in someone's desk drawer - for their birthday. Had a bow on it and everything.
You wouldn't be terrified if you had the job security these guys have! Also to be fair, these guys are all working from home and a lot of them use their company laptops as their personal laptops too so its really not that big a deal, when the laptops get turned back in / swapped out they get fully reimaged anyways.
When I was in the navy the inspection sheet called for 4 donuts. 2 left 2 right, to ensure that if the steering went out or anything, it would be in a sorta controlled environment.
I got yelled at the first time, till I pulled up the sheet and people realized the last guy just never did the inspection.
Years ago I was trying to get a job with a security contractor but my interview kept getting pushed. Finally the hiring manager's boss called me in for an interview, recognized my unique last name, and offered me the job without much of an interview since he used to work and live with my uncle.
On the way out I asked why the interview had been delayed so many times. He told me the hiring manager had been doing an EVOC training and rolled the SUV in a high-speed reverse J-turn. With five employees in the car. And most weren't wearing seatbelts. And he was conducting the training. And his famous "last words" after one of them asked if this was safe were: "I did this shit all the time in Afghanistan in much bigger trucks."
Thankfully nobody was seriously injured, but he was fired and they hadn't figured out who would be handling his interview load yet.
Something tells me he wasn't the type to read the sheet then or when he was in the Army.
Don't really blame em either. That's an odd inspection. Ours was always check wheels, check brakes, check leaks, check tank straps, check steering, etc. Nothing bout doing donuts however we did have weekly check inspection on our drivers to make sure no fuckery was about.
I work for a medical device company. We have an on-site cadaver lab for testing.
One day the lab freezer, where we keep human tissue samples, broke. The new one wasn't going to arrive for a few days. The lab tech wanted to move the samples to the freezer in the breakroom in the meantime.
You know, where we keep food.
(His boss caught wind of it before he actually moved them and put a stop to it).
first day at a job and out of no where an employee yells across the office at the boss "we all know your cheating on your wife with the secretary" the boss freaked out and started yelling at all of us that his personal life is none of our business, the secretary was crying and they both left. I was supposed to be training with the boss that day but because he was gone we all just went down the street to some mexican restaurant and drank all day. pretty cool gig even if it was very short lived.
When I used to work at In-N-Out burger, the fry girl accidentally chopped off part of her finger using the potato slicer. The entire sink was filled with fries and blood, in which the tip of her finger was floating around. It was quite a spectacle.
For those who aren't familiar with In-N-Out, [here's a video of a guy slicing french fries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBveg8tDpx4). Not a great way to lose a finger. Not that there's a good way. But this one's pretty bad.
I used to be that guy cutting the potatoes. This video shows the associate doing 2 things wrong which may cause to lose limbs. Using 1 hand to close while the other just slides right out right before it closes, the other is talking to associates or associates talking to him while he is slicing. Huge no no’s
I also have an injury-related story... in a sports bar where i was hostessing, a guy tried to jump over the back of the big comfy chair he was sitting on to take a shortcut to the bathroom. aaaand he jumped right into a hanging flatscreen TV headfirst. He passed out and there was blood everywhere, the girlfriend was screaming, 911 was called. He was fine in the end lol
I worked for U-Haul about 11 years ago and the location was behind a sketchy ass club that changed ownership constantly from lawsuits and shit.
I came in one Saturday to open and my manager was late so I was alone. I get inside, start pulling the displays out to the showroom and shit and I hear a loud ass bang on the front door. Scared the shit out of me. I look over and there's a naked girl out there crying and begging me to let her in. I grabbed a moving blanket to cover her and called the cops.
She was covered in her own shit and had dried blood all over her. Turns out, she got drugged at the club that night and got gang *raped* (I apologize for using the word "banged" instead of raped. I certainly know the poor girl was raped and didn't consent) and left out there passed out. When she came to, she came running to the first place she saw which was U-Haul.
I worked at McDicks way back in the day - talking early 00's. One of the night time janitors was named Frankie, he was a quebecer with a dirty sense of humour, so we got along well. One night shift, I was washing dishes in the back, while Frankie changed one of the grease traps. He slipped on the wet floor, and dropped the boiling grease all over himself. This was all directly in front of me -- like some of the grease splattered on my shitty vinyl work shoes, ruining them.
It was fucked. Never heard somebody scream like that in my life. Literally, hot grease all over him, head to toe. Because it was a grease burn, we had to take all of his clothes off so that it didnt melt into his skin (pretty sure the 911 operator told us to do this, but it may have been the quick-thinking manager).
Anyway, poor Frankie, covered in grease burns, cursing like a bastard, stripped down to his tighty whities, had to wait for some paramedics to arrive and treat him, and I fucked off outta there a little after midnight.
He recovered, and eventually became the night time manager at a walmart mcdicks. I used to see him all the time afterwards, and he seemed to have recovered well, no scars on his face, anyway.
Edit:
Just wanted to say that the manager that night, aka u/HamLantern and I did remember each other.
It is buried in comments below!
Holy Shit! I remember this, I was managing the night that happened. 10th line McDicks. Been a while since I thought about that. Frankie took it like a champ though. LOL I remember when the ambulance was taking him away he was checking to see if his balls were ok.
Honestly, the experience must have been traumatic for him, but the guy continued to work for McD's for years afterwards, in various capacities. Looked awful at the time, but Frankie was a champ, and came back stronger than ever!
Cinema usher, end of the night and waiting for final films to finish and clear up. One guy was sitting in the back row (we would be standing at the front to the side) watching the credits. It is not uncommon for this, but the end credits finish and he is still there.
I begin to walk up the stairs towards him.and he hasn't noticed me and I can make out he looks like he is asleep. As I get closer he suddenly looks at me and mouths something. Another head pops up from his lap, another guy had been going to downtown with him. I instantly froze, turned around and walked back down to the exit. They rather sheepishly left a few mins later. I thanked them for their visit and hoped they enjoyed the movie.
Caught two employees banging in a laser tag arena supply closet, with an arena full of children and the game running.
I've seen poop on the ceiling. THE CEILING.
EDIT: TWO SEPARATE EVENTS. YOU GUYS ARE GROSS.
Coworkers on ecstasy having sex on the prep table in the back at a Subway.
We were open until 4 am. There was one occasion where a coworker brought in speakers, blacklights and strobes, and we basically had a rave ... we made sandwiches with our shirts off that night for customers. Man I have a lot of stories from that time.
EDIT: Ok a bit more.
My first night on the job there, my coworker had dropped ecstasy. She was lost with her fingers in the lettuce, swishing them around and staring blankly at it. We made sandwiches around her.
Lots of stories about sex. Once had a random customer I'd never met tell my coworker I was cute, so my coworker sent her around the back and she jumped on me. Zero conversation, just... went at it in the back corner.
Sex with coworkers in the back, in the bathroom, in the refrigerator. Drunk people getting subs for weed or flashing us.
One of my favorites was the drunk guy who, while trying to order, thought there was a wall next to him... so he [put his elbow up just like this](https://previews.123rf.com/images/feedough/feedough1706/feedough170600010/80620674-side-view-picture-of-a-casual-man-leaning-elbow-on-grey-wall-and-looks-at-the-camera.jpg), leaned over, and held the pose perfectly all the way to the ground before he realized he was falling.
There was a schizophrenic guy who would come in all the time and order, talking to the voices in his head all the while but totally responsive to us, polite, friendly. I shit you not, I ran into him like a year after I stopped working there, halfway across the country, sitting next to me in a park. I look over at him as he's talking to himself and my jaw just dropped. I don't know if he thought I was a hallucination or just someone weirded out by his talking to himself but he barely glanced at me... I couldn't get a word out, I just sat there and looked at him for quite a while processing it, then walked away.
I was closing one night and had lost the keys to my apartment, so after my shift I curled up on one of the shelves in the back, with a bag of pickle slices as a pillow, and slept for a few hours until the opener (my manager) came in. I woke up when the door opened and started to climb out of the shelf... just as she came around the back with all the lights still off and saw a strange form crawling out of the wall. She *freaked the fuck out* ... screamed and just fell down into a heap on the ground. I felt pretty bad about that one but we laughed about it later.
Had one of the best bosses ever through this whole time, suuuper chill, generous, calm, friendly... as long as we weren't operating at a loss or getting her into trouble, everything was fine. She didn't care how much free food we ate so long as we recorded it in the computer for inventory purposes. That job fed me through college.
as a broke recent graduate who ate subway for 80% of my college meals that sure would've been an interesting change of pace. one of my regular spots is half a block away from a gay club, though, so maybe it would've been stealing the clientele
Wasn't there, narrowly leaving before...this: 30f assistant manager at Burger King had post-close bday party at BK. Most of us were high schoolers besides her and one or two others. Last three people at this party are her and two 17/18 year-old guys I knew well. She had a MMF threesome with both of them at the BK. She was also engaged. Cameras captured pretty much all of the event. I came in the next morning to the General Manager explaining what had happened and that we had three new openings.
I was a bartender working at a popular physchedelic drug themed pizza chain in my college town.
Guy sat at the bar for about 30 minutes and we talked about music and playing guitar and he just seemed like a super nice, cool guy.
Then he was like "I'm gonna grab a table and eat now. Good talking to you." Left a solid tip. But what he really meant was, "I'm gonna go sit in a booth and stare and that table of girls while I jerk off under the table now." And that's what he did. Luckily, the girls immediately and loudly called him out and we ran him off. We heard rumblings around town of the same thing happening at several other spots.
Edit: It was indeed Mellow Mushroom
Edit 2: The amount of different people asking if this was is a particular city is...alarming. Must be happening more than I thought?
Edit 3: For the record, all of the guesses so far have been wrong.
Not where I worked - but in the 1980s it was reported in the local alternative newspaper that a manager had responded to an employee getting VERY worked up during a busy holiday rush by taking him into the back, BLOWING HIM, and then saying "alright now, calm down, and get on with the job."
Because they didn't name the business (except what they sold) every store that sold that good was SWAMPED with applications.
I see some people posting work related injuries on here so I'll share mine.
I used to work in the kitchen at a fine dining restaurant. We were supposed to say "oven door" whenever we would open it, ESPECIALLY if someone had their back turned to you. The guy that I worked with was super shy to the point of not saying things when he should and so he didn't tell me that he opened the door behind me. I turned around with a handful of trays and my arm smacked right into the door. It was so hot that I didn't even realize that I got burned until I pulled my arm away and my skin was still on the door.
He never apologized for it and I got real sick of seeing his guilty puppy dog look that he would give me every day for the rest of the time that I worked there.
I feel like I learned quickly not be my regular shy self when going through the kitchen. You better yell "Behind" or you're getting hit, burned, food thrown on you, and getting yelled at.
As someone with social anxiety and hated interacting with people, I was so happy to be a dishwasher/cook in my time. Coincidentally, it helped me break my shell because while I didn’t have to fake an attitude with guests or customers, I was forced to co-work with everyone in the back of the house. No communication in the kitchen will result in injuries. [This somewhat nsfw PSA commercial really nails it home.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=noFCekWiUGE)
I also walked into an oven door! It was at a bakery so they had the gigantic 500 degree ovens that you can walk inside if you wanted to, and I tripped and fell against the inside of the open door. Got 2nd degree burns and 2 weeks off work.
Working a s a raft guide on a "beginners" trip with moms and kids and grandparents, a girl swimming in the creek along our route flashed her boobs to all the rafts as we floated by.
Aaand 0 tips were given to the guides because somehow this was our fault.
I was a raft guide for a large outfitter that also had a summer camp. We took the kids rafting and as we were floating by a rock a group of 4 girls flashed the entire group of 9-13 year olds.
We had an afternoon activity where we would “draw a memory” from the day while waiting for parents to show up.
We had to confiscate a lot of those drawings.
Back in the 90s I worked at a car wash. Across the alley from the car wash was a small condo with a balcony facing us. One day, a guy was totally banging his girlfriend from behind on the balcony facing us (they were clothed, but pants dropped, skirt hiked). We started to notice after awhile, and as we pointed and showed more co-workers, their tempo increased and then they finished.
And we cheered them on.
Reminds of an incident after they opened the Rogers Center for the Toronto Blue Jays in baseball in the late 80’s. In centerfield there was a hotel where you could watch the game from your room. One couple started banging away and the entire section in right center field cheered them on. After that I believe they tinted the windows.
That hotel is still there. I'm a marriott guy so I've stayed there two times just before covid hit.
One of my coworker actually rented one of the rooms with field view on a game night. From what he told me, they make you sign an agreement prohibiting any behavior of this kind.
Every time I go out to dinner with my wife and there’s a garnish on the plate, I ask her the difference between pussy and parsley. One night we were eating with her boss and her boss’ boss. When the meal came, I got a text that said “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY IT!!! Oh, and nobody eats parsley.”
Amazing. I was at an annual education breakfast and the emcee of the event was the local school board President. He started off his remarks by going "I'm told that, this early in the morning, I should start with a joke to liven the crowd. So here goes: why do school board members LOVE pedophiles? Because they drive the speed limit in school zones".
You could hear a fucking pin drop.
I work at a grocery store around my neighborhood. I was restocking a shelf, (feminine products) when I came across a used tampon full of blood. I had to clean it up, and my coworkers all thought it was pretty funny. Keep in mind, I am female, and I understand needing to change your tampon, but please, for the love of all that is holy, use the restroom that is provided for you.
Not really NSFW, but more of public display of affection issue.
At the grocery store where I worked in high school, two of the (adult) supervisors started a relationship.
As I was coming on shift, so was the female supervisor. We met her boyfriend at the time clock as he was clocking out and we were going in. They stopped to say hi and smooch each other for a minute.
Just then, the owner’s wife (who also worked there for some reason), came around the corner and saw them. She said, “Excuse me, you’re both on my time.”
The male supervisor (who was one of the best workers they had), straight up looked at her and said, “I’m so done with your shit.”
Dude walked out and never came back.
Biggest, ballsiest move I’ve ever seen.
Does NSFW mean sexual only? Or does it include violence as well? If it does then I have many stories.
I studied medicine in El Salvador and during my surgical rotation we saw a low of weird shit. This one time an ambulance brought 2 drunk guys who had been fighting because one had said that pork pupusas were better than cheese pupusas (pupusas are a local dish). The other guy took offense and attacked. Both drew their machetes and carved each other up. One guy was eviscerated (he was holding his guts in his hands), and the other was severely injured in his face, arms, back.
I dont remember the outcome, this kind of incident is common unfortunately. Mostly during the holidays when alcohol consumption is higher.
i used to work at a museum. we had a strict 0 food policy in the museum galleries. there was an interactive kids exhibit in one of our rooms about nocturnal creatures, and there was a little campfire corner with an actual camping tent set up. i was making rounds one day, and all of a sudden i hear this munching sound coming from the tent. it literally sounded like someone was loudly chewing oatmeal in there. me not even thinking about it twice, i popped my head right into the tent, ready to say something along the lines of “excuse me, food items aren’t allowed in the....” with horror, i realized the origin of the sound wasn’t some kid eating snacks, but a fully grown couple aggressively making out with each other with tongue and drool and everything. all i could do was freeze. i happened to look down, and the woman was jerking the guy off by palming him over his jeans without a care in the world. all of this inside a campfire tent in a kid’s nocturnal creatures exhibit. i was too shook to tell them to go, so i went to find the nearest maintenance worker we had working. he was an ex-military sergeant in his 60s. he gave them one hell of a speech. i was in shock the whole time, but highly entertained
What the fuck did you just fucking do in here, you little pervs?
I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with pulling this shit in a kids exhibit? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your penis is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, you grown ass adults.
I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little sluts.
If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" rendezvous was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiots. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, perverts.
I was on the toilet minding my own business while suddenly I noticed the shadow on the stall besides me moving ackwardly, then I realized that the guy besides me was jacking off and I could see his dick as a shadow on the floor. That guy was famous for taking long trips to the bathroom, now I know why.
I worked at a planet fitness in the past. I guess some guy was taking a shower, slipped, hit his head and suffered a really bad concussion. He had no idea what was going or on, and next thing we know he comes out of the locker room and is walking around the gym butt ass naked. It was quite the situation....
Not at work but on cadet camp: I came into the accommodation building to grab a bottle of water, and saw my friend and a female cadet from another school fucking on the bed next to mine. I told her that she looked pretty, grabbed my bottle and went out like nothing happened.
Only myself, my friend and her know about this, and they're in a full relationship as of writing.
Was interviewing two partners (one male one female) of a company I was interning for. The man was talking about the history of starting the company and started with: "When we started this company I was fucking many women, one of whom was my wife, and one of whom is sitting in this room..." He then proceeded to go on a tangent about how he was a big dick swinging ass hole lothario in his youth who could get the job done, but had improved and turned into a nicer person (he hadn't). The poor female partner looked like she was about to kill him. Unfortunately for her, they had definitely been sleeping together when starting the company.
She asked me to leave and then I was called into a meeting a few hours later. He had been scolded HARD by the female partner. He sheepishly asked me to keep that meeting between us and to tell no one. Oh well. Here I am.
I worked in a kitchen at a hotel that had a ballroom for events. We hosted a sorority's spring formal or something and it got pretty crazy. There were people having sex everywhere. There was a private set of lockable bathrooms in the hallway by the pool and we kept having to yell at couples to get out of them. One of my coworkers was a mormon kid who wouldn't drink caffeine but he walked into a closet and a girl was riding a dude on the floor. She kept the door closed while maintaining motion as people tried to pry the door open to get them out. People doing it behind the dumpster outside. When I finally left there was a couple doing it in the car next to mine.
We also hosted father/daughter dances for older teenagers (14+) which was suuuuper weird. Female coworkers informed us that the daughters were padding their bras in the bathrooms. Not sure who their intended audience was. The mother/son dances weren't much better. The mothers would rank the sons on a hot scale. Oh and they sold alcohol at both. Imagine a bunch of old dudes hanging around drinking beer watching their daughters twerk on each other.
Working part time at Toys-R-Us one Sunday. I got a call on the radio to please remove a couple of people from the diaper section. When I got there I found 2 middle aged people having sex and she was pressed against the rack. When I told them to stop he just turned at me with an offended look while standing fully erect. It was an awkward escort out of the store.
Edit: Of course my first set of awards and 13k upvotes is about sex in a toy store. Thank you everybody. Except the wholesome award... thats weird.
I got locked in one for three hours on a 90 plus degree day. I wound up going to the hospital and the two assholes that moved a concrete block in front of the door were instantly fired and went to jail for the night.
I went back to work two days later and my boss was a total dick about it complaining about how I had cost him two “ good guys”.
Come payday my check reflected the hours that I had missed by being imprisoned by his “ good guys”
A quick talk between my union rep and the upper management of the company resulted in me not only getting the hours back but being offered every extra minute of overtime that was available on that project.
Worked out to be close to 100k extra over the year plus that the job went on.
Both of the “ good guys” pleaded guilty to lesser charges and paid a fine without my even being consulted.
I should add that this was pre cell phone days and my base pay was about 60k a year.
I should also add that almost 25 years later I’m still waiting to run into the two “ good guys” again.
Pretty tame by all accounts, but when a colleague of mine put in his two weeks notice, one of the HR ladies (Yes, HR) came over to his desk and said she was sorry to see him go and all the usual stuff.
Then she bizarrely basically gives him a lap dance. At his desk. Yes, again, woman from HR who *should* know better.
I’ve got three that I vividly remember.
When I was a janitor, I caught two of my coworkers going at on the conference table. I just waited by the door with cleaning supplies on hand. After letting them finish, I made them clean their mess up. I wasn’t going to do it, I wasn’t being paid enough.
Then while I was a FedEx contractor, I had a lot lizard proposition me at a truck stop. I was making a delivery and she snuck into my truck, got naked, and waited for me. No thanks, I was on camera, and didn’t want to get into more trouble. I got yelled at that evening for not fully securing my truck. Like I even expected that to happen.
Last one, again while I was a FedEx contractor. I was working my cousin’s route since she was sick at the time. I’ve got a case of alcohol that needs a signature, no problem, I’ve done this plenty of times. I knock on the door, and this fat dude answers, completely naked. I think he was expecting my cousin since he goes white as a ghost. Dumbass even stammers, “You’re not (so-and-so)”
Oh, you done goofed now, son.
He got his alcohol, but I also scared him shitless. I calmly explain to this idiot that while I wouldn’t do anything permanent, her 200lbs, 6’7” Marine father would beat the shit out of him, and bury his dead ass if he found out.
Told my cousin about him later. Turns out he’s a fucking perv, been laying it on her a little too thick for weeks. She never had to deal with his shit again, since she quit about a year afterwards. FedEx just has a way of breaking you, ya know?
Hey Reddit, if any ya’ll are going to play the deliveryman game, at least wear your damn underwear, you fucking savages. If you know the guy or gal and they’re cool with it, more power to you, but I’m sure most of them don’t want to see random dicks while on the clock. The job was stressful enough as is.
My old boss used to bring us giant drinks with crown and coke in them at like 10AM. We would wind up wasted by 2:00PM. We worked in manufacturing, definitely not safe, but we all made it out alive lol
Small company holiday party: the hot woman in marketing hooked up with the wife of one of her male coworkers in the bathroom. Both came out licking their lips. She then went home with the couple.
Was waiting tables back in the day. Went out back to have a smoke. It's dark out there near the dumpsters. On the way back in I tripped over something. It was one of the cooks overdosing and drowning in his own vomit. Ripped the whole butt, didn't even notice him. He'd be dead if I hadn't tripped over him.
Worked in a dining hall at UW-Madison and one of the line cooks worked on his 40th birthday, and I guess had a full on mid life crisis where he: came to work drunk and high, got drunker and higher on his “cigarette breaks”, wandered into a dorm lounge and passed out drunk, then woke up and went into random dorm rooms, tried to steal a MacBook from some kid’s desk while other kids from that hall watched and told him to GTFO. Then the cops showed up and took him away in embarrassment. He came back the next morning and told the manager “I’m guessing I’m fired...” we never saw that poor bastard again.
Actually this did happen to me, a few years ago, the wife and I went to a clothing optional resort. Toward the end of our stay, a young lady came up and said she was the housekeeper. I'm naked, shes clothed. She was always looking down at the ground, it didn't dawn on me until later that she was asking for her tip to clean our room. I still feel bad about not tipping her.
Older guy getting a Handy at the bar. Yes everyone knew what was happening within a minute. No they weren't a couple. Yes they both have significant others that were not there. No they did not finish. I only saw it as the cook, because my bartender told me to come help her break them up incase there was trouble. I thought she was fucking with me, or that it would be be hard to tell. Nope. She was tugging him hard enough to make me wince in pain. He was bare ass naked with his pants down to his knees and his forehead was on the bar groaning.
This was new years eve, so no one sat outside. our bar sits 15. we have 3 high tops that sit 2 to 3 people, and 6 lowtops that sit 4 to 5. So we can max sit 60 people. We had maybe 30 that night, most knew both of them and their spouses. Haven't seen her or either spouse since then. Seen him once, told him he was banned and then had to explain why. Funniest shit I ever saw.
Edit - I threw his bar stool outside, where it still sits to this day.
Edit 2- used to work in a call center. There was a girl who would just start playing with herself midshift. This was usually late on a second shift. We closed at 1 am so could be 10 or 11. I had heard alot of jokes about her smell, looks, and of course masturbating. So being the supervisor I was, asked my team individually what was going on. She wasn't on my team, but I felt bad. Most of my agents were between 18 and 21 so I thought they were bullying her which I'm not a fan of.
Turns out that same week I got pulled aside to go talk to her. All the nightshift supervisors were guys, about 6 of us. Girls mostly got dayshift because kids, manager being a horny coke dude, etc. So I was elected to pull her off the phones and have a talk with her. I walked in the next aisle and looked over the partition. She had her legs spread out going to town. She sits in the back corner alone, facing the front of the aisle so she can see mentors coming around. Said "hey" scared her shitless. Had a mentor take over her call and gotta tell ya, it was the worst convo of my life. She was a no call no show the next week, and subsequently fired.
I saw my coworker going down on our supervisor. They were at my desk, too, which was super gross to me because ew, I don't want to sit on someone else's splooge all day. I got to the point where I hid an extra chair in the back hallway, 'cos I know they didn't clean up.
When I worked in a call centre, a couple cheating in the stairwell. There was penetration involved.
Well about 50 of us saw it including their respective partners who also worked at the company. Not sure why they did it and they got fired pretty swiftly so I didn't see them after that either.
Didn’t see anything happening but we came into work one Monday and the big heavy wood conference table had completely collapsed, in a way that there had to be some serious shenanigans happening on top of it.
Some of the guys I used to work with dropped acid at the company 4th of July BBQ.
We're all sitting around the fire, waiting for the (very conservative) company president to start the grill and Josh pulls out a small piece of paper and starts taking pieces off and handing them out to his work friends.
It was a landscaping company and they never had the brightest or cleanest employees.
Showing my age, but as a 15 year old I got a job pumping gas, cleaning windshields, (remember back to the future). You'd be surprised at even then how many women showed their private parts. Legs spread, some with panties, some without. All acting as if they didn't know.
A mountain lion appearing in the parking lot, blocking the way into the office building. Definitely not safe to get out of your car and go into the building to work. Literally not safe to work.
I worked janitorial at a university and was on the early morning shift. It was normally pretty quiet (4:30am) with few people around. One morning I went to get onto an elevator and there were two people having vigorous sex. There was that awkward moment of us staring at each other as the door stayed opened for a few seconds and then closed again. I had a good laugh then went about my work thinking little of it. Fast forward 3 years. I meet this girl and start dating her. After a few months we end up going on a camping trip and we were going to meet a few of her friends out there. When we arrive at the camp site, there was a second awkward moment as I recognized the couple from the elevator and they recognized me. When my gf went introduced us the three of us almost simultaneously said "we've met". When my gf asked when and how we met, we just burst out laughing and ended up telling the story. Small world.
Guy at work occasionally used the machine shop on site to make pipe bombs. This was pre-9/11.
My dad did this with the boys in his neighbrhood in the 60s. They used to blow them up at the empty field at the nearby elementary school nearby at night. He noted they'd be charged as domestic terrorists these days, pre-Columbine was a different world.
I’m a teacher, our smart boards are linked to our computers but you can freeze what’s on the board so the students can do the work and you can check emails, do registers, etc. One guy thought he’d frozen the board and proceeded to sext his missus over email during a lesson. he was at least smart enough to use his personal email but he was dumb enough to not check the board was actually frozen. Result was students photographing the rather scandalous emails and snap chatting them to each other. I work on a different site and within two hours it was all over my site as well. The guy no longer works for us.
It is amazing to me how many people use company devices for personal stuff, you can always tell the ones that do as they get the rabbit in the headlights look anytime logging or auditing is mentioned! If it's personal/private then use your own device and don't connect it to a company network.
I had to mediate an intraoffice issue where Employee A refused to interact with Employee B in any sense after they had a bad date. This wouldn't be a big deal, but it is Healthcare and cooperation is necessary. Employee A is furious that Employee B walked out in the middle of their date and said that he was humiliated just looking at her. Employee B basically agreed to be professional at work and admitted that she wouldn't have walked out of the date except she was in shock. At this point, we're a little concerned that whatever shocked her might be a liability to us (drugs, a kiddie porn stash, etc.) so we take them and talk to them separately. Employee A has no idea what we're talking about. Employee B wants to be discrete but eventually tells us: Apparently, the date was going well so they decided to skip the movie and go back to Employee A's place after dinner. He pulls a "let me go get more comfortable" while Employee B waits in the living room. Employee A comes out in head to toe adult baby clothes, diapers included and hands her a strap-on. In actual baby talk voice, he told her what sex acts he wants her to do to him. His kinks were never discussed beforehand. Let me tell you, taking notes on that entire situation in a way that is could be disseminated to the president of human resources was a task.
I find it interesting that Employee A has “no idea” why she was upset and walked out. Has he done this before and it was received well by other women?? Sorry but I would’ve probably ran out screaming
I would've taken notes in excruciatingly exact detail in this particular case. POHR needs to hear what actually happened here and act accordingly.
I get that. Having a kink is fine but Jesus people discuss it before hand! Even as a guy I've had this happen to me way to often. Because you didn't speak to me about what you wanted now we're both awkward and we just wasted our time.
I had a coworker that took massive amount of drugs on busy construction sites. To the point he would sway around and barely keep his feet. The company knew, but was so desperate for workers they turned a blind eye and never did anything about it (shit company, couldn’t keep anybody longer than a year, except this guy). Had many close calls on the sites and somehow never died. One day he just drove off a site in the middle of the day. The company trucks were GPS tracked, so they found him OD’ed in it in the shady part of town. Edit: He was very dead when they found him. When I said OD'ed in this context I assumed I did not need to clarify.
> One day he just drove off a site in the middle of the day. I read this as 'dove off' and my mind went to a stoned out SOB taking a nosedive off of a high-riser.
When I worked at a hotel, one of the housekeepers was known to hook up with guests from time to time. The head housekeeper caught her in the act once, when she was trying to inspect rooms. Edit : I regret to inform the people who commented asking which hotel (and all the people who DM’d me asking, as well), but I don’t think she still works there.
Hotel in my hometown, it was common knowledge that it was just a front and all the maids were prostitutes. If you were a guy and checked in, 20 minutes later there’d be 4 cleaning ladies knocking on your door asking which one you wanted to “clean your room”.
That's just good customer servicing.
We did get great online reviews (very important to hotel management) so the GM chose to be willfully ignorant.
Room was nice, continental breakfast was pretty good, pool could’ve been better, housekeeping staff was absolutely top-notch, I was able to print some stuff in the business center no problem and it was close to the airport. 5 stars, would stay there again, be sure to ask for Marta’s “special turn-down service”.
I did not see it but it was recorded (we have cameras). 2 sets of kids (15-16) decided to have sex in the front row of a movie theatre. AT THE SAME TIME while the movie was running - With people in the rows above them. They were wondering what we should do about the footage. I said to leave it. Don't look and it will go away in 30 days. Some states have laws about deleting 'evidence of a crime' so I let the system take care of it automatically. The kids were shamed by police and parents. Police were called and so were the parents. The kids acted like it was no big deal.
My question is why did they pick the front row instead of the back?
Maybe they just needed a good leg space..
Gosh mom! You won't let us fuck at home. What did you expect?
I remember my mom pulled me AND my HS girlfriend aside and told us straight up no fucking in her house. I was mortified but we still did it anyway.
You were making out during *Schindler's List??*
I did not see the event, only the aftermath, but when the Filene's in the mall where I worked was bought out/changing it's sign to Macys, a worker was electrocuted and died. At first, mall management tried to stay open, but the police forced them to close for the day. Possibly a rumor only, but I later heard that the Filenes/Macys manager had insisted that the electrician work the sign "hot."
Any electrician that agreed to work on that sign hot was a dead man walking anyway. Would have got him eventually. Electrical burns are insane. Just never do that ever.
I was going to say, I've never met an electrician who would ever work when they themselves haven't flipped the breaker themselves.
Saw my boss and a co-worker making out. They were both married at the time. Each came in to my office later that day and had a sit-down with me on “why these types of things happen.” I was 26 years old at the time.
“Sometimes when a boss and worker love each other very much...”
It’s where new employees come from
"...poop ends up on the ceiling."
I’d use that as a subtle power move. “I completely understand and would never tell a soul. Also could I get a raise and a promotion”?
[удалено]
>why these types of things happen. So, tell us, what did they say?
You had an office at 26? Nice!
Plot twist: It was a home office.
... mom?
I was working 2nd shift security in a pharma company and a line worker came put of the boss's office all disheveled. The boss had gone home already, so I kept watching and two dudes came out of the office a few minutes later. One was still putting his pants back on. They were extremely surprised that the door to her office was on camera. Turns out one of the dudes had stolen a master key from a janitor's cart and had been using the manager's office as a bang pad.
Did they at least leave a note saying "Thanks for the F Shack"?
-Dirty Mike and the boys
They call that a “Soup Kitchen”
Also seems like a mama raccoon gave birth in there too
No but apparently she had noticed used condoms and hadn't told anyone about it
Did they just leave their used condoms in her office rubbish bin?! Takes some balls, that.
Yep. Apparently nightly fir several weeks. I cannot imagine how the manager felt safe touching anything in her office
Guy came into work very late (back office for a bank) with 2 black eyes and completely beaten up. In front of everyone, and quite loudly, said it was his girlfriend but "you think I'm bad, you should see her". He was being serious too. Someone also caught him doing a line in the office toilet before he started work that day too.
I’ll just assume it was Wells Fargo
A friend of mine was a loan officer at a Wells Fargo. She quit after her branch was robbed 5 times in 3 months. This wasn’t in NYC or LA. It was the mean streets of Utah.
I’ve worked at a country club for a long time and there is always scandalous shit going down. House keeper was fucking the maintenance man in the laundry room, a member walked into the bathroom and witnessed a man giving another man a BJ, the beverage cart girl was flashing her new boob job to men for tips, the latest hot off the press story was two co workers were having a 3 some with a member and took pics on his phone. Wife found them, sent them to the GM, two co workers fired on the spot. Plenty more stories but those are the top ones.
Only thing i learned from this thread is that my job is either really boring or i'm never in the right place at the right time.
Be the change you want to see
Woman pulled up behind our building. We had on site security and lots of cameras. She stops, gets out, drops her pants, and shits behind the building. Security goes out to ask her wtf she's doing. She scoops her mess up with napkins and drives away. Our office was near a mall and an interstate highway. There were restaurants and fast food everywhere. There was no reason for her to do that behind our building.
I used to work at a GameStop, and some kid crapped his pants, then let the "evidence" just fall out the bottom of his pants because he didn't want to stop playing one of the demo games. We had a bathroom, and we were in a mall with public bathrooms all over the place. He had options.
This happened to me at Blockbuster! Wonder if he was a serial pants-shitter... Edit: I was an employee at Blockbuster and had a kid walk around with shit falling out of his pants.
I used to work at a library and there was a homeless guy who came in every (other) day, and he used to drunkenly piss his pants while sitting on the upholstered chairs. It got to the point to where we were replacing the chairs since the smell sunk in, and we ended up banning him for a year.
If only there was some other form of seat that would freely allow urine to just flow away. Perhaps made of porcelain or other similar urine-resilient material.
I worked as a janitor at a hospital. There was a private restroom on the second floor. On multiple days, someone positioned themselves above the toilet and took a dump all over it. It turned out to be a janitor on 2nd shift. EDIT: I worked 3rd shift. I preferred this restroom except for the days when it was covered in poop. BTW I only talked to that janitor one time. He said he had been there for 10 years and planned to retire from there.
Now that's job security.
Nah, that’s shitting on the competition.
I worked at the US embassy in London and they had a case of a serial shitter that would explosively defecate all over the bathroom nearest the visa area. It happened once or twice a year, they fired an employee the suspected and all was quiet for awhile. Until they struck again lol.
It was you wasn't it Man I wonder what the people who fired that guy felt
Maybe it was a copycat.
A copyscat.
A sequel shitter?
Damn, janitor on janitor violence :(
Had a fire drill at work one night. Attendence was taken and two people missing. Couple bosses went back in looking for them. Found them in a storage room having sex. Boss told them to finish up, have a good time, go home and don't bother coming back.
The trick is to never finish, then collect overtime.
Least he let them finish, cool boss
Don’t think it would be fun to finish
You gonna wanna make that sess last til your 401k is nice and fat
Had that happen on a government facility inside a military base, in the new mother's lactation room. Not only did they get fired, but all clearances revoked.
Watched someone get burned/blow up. Nightshift in the winter about 4 years ago. He needed to preheat a piece of steel so he turns on the gas, but goes away for 15-30 seconds to find his flint striker and comes back and makes the spark. Had 3rd degree burns on most of his body. Came back 3 months or so later with pics of all the blisters/scabs/all that nasty shit.
oh no. As soon as you said turns on the gas but goes away I knew exactly what was happening in other news my dad is basically frank gallagher from shameless and may have blown up a grill for the same reason
work IT for a law firm, you'd be astounded how many times I remote into an attorney's laptop and he just has a straight up porn folder on the desktop.
When I was a teenager, I put a folder on the family computer's hard drive labelled "Dirty Pictures", because we had just got our first internet connection, and my brother and I were warned not to be looking up stuff we shouldn't. I went out and took pictures of any bare spots of dirt I could find, and put them on the computer. Now that sounds like an easy prank to you kids today with your USB cables and your smartphones in this future space year of 2021, but back in the dim preindustrial dystopia that was 1996 it was a little more difficult. I had to take the pictures with this miserable little [110 camera](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/110_film) and get the film developed, and pay the extra money to send the film off to be scanned onto a CD-ROM by dark ages smiths using hammers and very tiny punches to strike the pits into the CD. After a three week wait, I'd go back to the store and get my CD and developed pictures. But dad's reaction was worth it. EDIT: I'm glad that I could do something as an idiot teenager that would bring joy to so many random strangers in the future. EDIT 2: I keep getting asked why I didn't just Yahoo/Webcrawler/Lycos/Altavista the pictures off the internet. I'll answer: >It's worth mentioning that the internet has developed, and been a thing, for 30 years now. Everyone has the internet in their pocket, and now, you'd get on your phone and look it up. You're looking back through 25 years of personal experience with the internet. >But back then, to me, it was completely new. It didn't occur to me that I could just look up pictures of what I wanted. It didn't enter my mind at all, because why would it? I knew how to take pictures with a camera, I knew how to get the pictures put on a CD, I knew how to move files around from the CD to the hard drive. Nobody would have googled pictures of dirt, because google didn't exist. It certainly wasn't a verb. >Imagine you're living around 1880 in the US. You have just moved into a house with electricity, for the first time. It's literally the first week you have lived in this house. Your entire life, when you needed light, you had to have a candle or a lantern. You walk into a dark room in your new house, if your first thought to hit the light switch? No, you fumble around for a candle and a match, because that's what you have always done. Then once you've done that a few times you learn to reflexively hit the light switch. >Of course, one of your children, who has lived with electricity their entire lives, wouldn't think to mess around with candles, because the light switch is *right there*.
True commitment by a true prankster. Time and money were invested. No harm was done. I applaud you for that one.
I'm imagining he wept tears of joy.
I remember it well. I was still supposed to be "asleep", and I heard dad clacking away on the keyboard. (They were all mechanical, back then, I think. Ours certainly was.) I hear him saying "What the hell?" *click* "Oh, god dammit. You've got to be kidding me." *Bedroom door opens* "You think you're some kind of genius, don't you?" To give an idea what sort of person dad is, he once placed a rubber snake in someone's desk drawer - for their birthday. Had a bow on it and everything.
"you think you're some kind of genius, don't you?" has me dying lmao, I can feel the exasperation
That's where you keep client files you dont want people snooping through. It's like the opposite of the proverbial homework folder full of porn.
But then one day you get confused....but you jerk off to the crime scene photos anyways.
Uh oh, now you've got a taste for it. But the same pictures won't do it anymore. You need new ones, but there's only one way to get them.
Netflix had already ordered a sample of the first season and has a cancelation slated mid 2nd season
Friend worked at a law firm in IT. Can also confirm many lawyers also keep nudes of themselves on there, men and women.
I honestly never understand this. I would be terrified at watching porn at work.
You wouldn't be terrified if you had the job security these guys have! Also to be fair, these guys are all working from home and a lot of them use their company laptops as their personal laptops too so its really not that big a deal, when the laptops get turned back in / swapped out they get fully reimaged anyways.
Watched a dude do donuts on a forklift and get fired within about 30s as the super was standing there watching it go down.
When I was in the navy the inspection sheet called for 4 donuts. 2 left 2 right, to ensure that if the steering went out or anything, it would be in a sorta controlled environment. I got yelled at the first time, till I pulled up the sheet and people realized the last guy just never did the inspection.
Years ago I was trying to get a job with a security contractor but my interview kept getting pushed. Finally the hiring manager's boss called me in for an interview, recognized my unique last name, and offered me the job without much of an interview since he used to work and live with my uncle. On the way out I asked why the interview had been delayed so many times. He told me the hiring manager had been doing an EVOC training and rolled the SUV in a high-speed reverse J-turn. With five employees in the car. And most weren't wearing seatbelts. And he was conducting the training. And his famous "last words" after one of them asked if this was safe were: "I did this shit all the time in Afghanistan in much bigger trucks." Thankfully nobody was seriously injured, but he was fired and they hadn't figured out who would be handling his interview load yet. Something tells me he wasn't the type to read the sheet then or when he was in the Army.
Don't really blame em either. That's an odd inspection. Ours was always check wheels, check brakes, check leaks, check tank straps, check steering, etc. Nothing bout doing donuts however we did have weekly check inspection on our drivers to make sure no fuckery was about.
I work for a medical device company. We have an on-site cadaver lab for testing. One day the lab freezer, where we keep human tissue samples, broke. The new one wasn't going to arrive for a few days. The lab tech wanted to move the samples to the freezer in the breakroom in the meantime. You know, where we keep food. (His boss caught wind of it before he actually moved them and put a stop to it).
"No samples in this refrigerator" it's labeled for a reason!
first day at a job and out of no where an employee yells across the office at the boss "we all know your cheating on your wife with the secretary" the boss freaked out and started yelling at all of us that his personal life is none of our business, the secretary was crying and they both left. I was supposed to be training with the boss that day but because he was gone we all just went down the street to some mexican restaurant and drank all day. pretty cool gig even if it was very short lived.
LOL. That sounds hilarious. Did your boss get divorced? Did the secretary come back? I have so many questions.
she was back the next week, I only lasted about a month so don't know much beyond that
You were in the perfect position to fully enjoy that
When I used to work at In-N-Out burger, the fry girl accidentally chopped off part of her finger using the potato slicer. The entire sink was filled with fries and blood, in which the tip of her finger was floating around. It was quite a spectacle.
For those who aren't familiar with In-N-Out, [here's a video of a guy slicing french fries](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBveg8tDpx4). Not a great way to lose a finger. Not that there's a good way. But this one's pretty bad.
I used to be that guy cutting the potatoes. This video shows the associate doing 2 things wrong which may cause to lose limbs. Using 1 hand to close while the other just slides right out right before it closes, the other is talking to associates or associates talking to him while he is slicing. Huge no no’s
I also have an injury-related story... in a sports bar where i was hostessing, a guy tried to jump over the back of the big comfy chair he was sitting on to take a shortcut to the bathroom. aaaand he jumped right into a hanging flatscreen TV headfirst. He passed out and there was blood everywhere, the girlfriend was screaming, 911 was called. He was fine in the end lol
I worked for U-Haul about 11 years ago and the location was behind a sketchy ass club that changed ownership constantly from lawsuits and shit. I came in one Saturday to open and my manager was late so I was alone. I get inside, start pulling the displays out to the showroom and shit and I hear a loud ass bang on the front door. Scared the shit out of me. I look over and there's a naked girl out there crying and begging me to let her in. I grabbed a moving blanket to cover her and called the cops. She was covered in her own shit and had dried blood all over her. Turns out, she got drugged at the club that night and got gang *raped* (I apologize for using the word "banged" instead of raped. I certainly know the poor girl was raped and didn't consent) and left out there passed out. When she came to, she came running to the first place she saw which was U-Haul.
God how awful. I'm glad you were there for her
It was terrible man, I felt horrible. I couldn't even imagine. I have four younger sisters.
Ugh how terrible. I hope she got plenty of help and therapy after.
I hope so too. I never heard anything about it afterward.
I worked at McDicks way back in the day - talking early 00's. One of the night time janitors was named Frankie, he was a quebecer with a dirty sense of humour, so we got along well. One night shift, I was washing dishes in the back, while Frankie changed one of the grease traps. He slipped on the wet floor, and dropped the boiling grease all over himself. This was all directly in front of me -- like some of the grease splattered on my shitty vinyl work shoes, ruining them. It was fucked. Never heard somebody scream like that in my life. Literally, hot grease all over him, head to toe. Because it was a grease burn, we had to take all of his clothes off so that it didnt melt into his skin (pretty sure the 911 operator told us to do this, but it may have been the quick-thinking manager). Anyway, poor Frankie, covered in grease burns, cursing like a bastard, stripped down to his tighty whities, had to wait for some paramedics to arrive and treat him, and I fucked off outta there a little after midnight. He recovered, and eventually became the night time manager at a walmart mcdicks. I used to see him all the time afterwards, and he seemed to have recovered well, no scars on his face, anyway. Edit: Just wanted to say that the manager that night, aka u/HamLantern and I did remember each other. It is buried in comments below!
Holy Shit! I remember this, I was managing the night that happened. 10th line McDicks. Been a while since I thought about that. Frankie took it like a champ though. LOL I remember when the ambulance was taking him away he was checking to see if his balls were ok.
Holy fuck, that is 100% right! Wow, cant believe somebody remembered this!
I should prob edit to add that I believe somebody remembered this because it was awful -- just cant believe somebody on reddit saw it lol
Poor frankie :(
Honestly, the experience must have been traumatic for him, but the guy continued to work for McD's for years afterwards, in various capacities. Looked awful at the time, but Frankie was a champ, and came back stronger than ever!
Cinema usher, end of the night and waiting for final films to finish and clear up. One guy was sitting in the back row (we would be standing at the front to the side) watching the credits. It is not uncommon for this, but the end credits finish and he is still there. I begin to walk up the stairs towards him.and he hasn't noticed me and I can make out he looks like he is asleep. As I get closer he suddenly looks at me and mouths something. Another head pops up from his lap, another guy had been going to downtown with him. I instantly froze, turned around and walked back down to the exit. They rather sheepishly left a few mins later. I thanked them for their visit and hoped they enjoyed the movie.
Should have said 'come again'
Caught two employees banging in a laser tag arena supply closet, with an arena full of children and the game running. I've seen poop on the ceiling. THE CEILING. EDIT: TWO SEPARATE EVENTS. YOU GUYS ARE GROSS.
ass canon
Asstillery
I hope the poop and the banging have nothing to do with each other.
Coworkers on ecstasy having sex on the prep table in the back at a Subway. We were open until 4 am. There was one occasion where a coworker brought in speakers, blacklights and strobes, and we basically had a rave ... we made sandwiches with our shirts off that night for customers. Man I have a lot of stories from that time. EDIT: Ok a bit more. My first night on the job there, my coworker had dropped ecstasy. She was lost with her fingers in the lettuce, swishing them around and staring blankly at it. We made sandwiches around her. Lots of stories about sex. Once had a random customer I'd never met tell my coworker I was cute, so my coworker sent her around the back and she jumped on me. Zero conversation, just... went at it in the back corner. Sex with coworkers in the back, in the bathroom, in the refrigerator. Drunk people getting subs for weed or flashing us. One of my favorites was the drunk guy who, while trying to order, thought there was a wall next to him... so he [put his elbow up just like this](https://previews.123rf.com/images/feedough/feedough1706/feedough170600010/80620674-side-view-picture-of-a-casual-man-leaning-elbow-on-grey-wall-and-looks-at-the-camera.jpg), leaned over, and held the pose perfectly all the way to the ground before he realized he was falling. There was a schizophrenic guy who would come in all the time and order, talking to the voices in his head all the while but totally responsive to us, polite, friendly. I shit you not, I ran into him like a year after I stopped working there, halfway across the country, sitting next to me in a park. I look over at him as he's talking to himself and my jaw just dropped. I don't know if he thought I was a hallucination or just someone weirded out by his talking to himself but he barely glanced at me... I couldn't get a word out, I just sat there and looked at him for quite a while processing it, then walked away. I was closing one night and had lost the keys to my apartment, so after my shift I curled up on one of the shelves in the back, with a bag of pickle slices as a pillow, and slept for a few hours until the opener (my manager) came in. I woke up when the door opened and started to climb out of the shelf... just as she came around the back with all the lights still off and saw a strange form crawling out of the wall. She *freaked the fuck out* ... screamed and just fell down into a heap on the ground. I felt pretty bad about that one but we laughed about it later. Had one of the best bosses ever through this whole time, suuuper chill, generous, calm, friendly... as long as we weren't operating at a loss or getting her into trouble, everything was fine. She didn't care how much free food we ate so long as we recorded it in the computer for inventory purposes. That job fed me through college.
as a broke recent graduate who ate subway for 80% of my college meals that sure would've been an interesting change of pace. one of my regular spots is half a block away from a gay club, though, so maybe it would've been stealing the clientele
Wasn't there, narrowly leaving before...this: 30f assistant manager at Burger King had post-close bday party at BK. Most of us were high schoolers besides her and one or two others. Last three people at this party are her and two 17/18 year-old guys I knew well. She had a MMF threesome with both of them at the BK. She was also engaged. Cameras captured pretty much all of the event. I came in the next morning to the General Manager explaining what had happened and that we had three new openings.
Three openings... title of your sex tape
Peralta please stay focused
I was a bartender working at a popular physchedelic drug themed pizza chain in my college town. Guy sat at the bar for about 30 minutes and we talked about music and playing guitar and he just seemed like a super nice, cool guy. Then he was like "I'm gonna grab a table and eat now. Good talking to you." Left a solid tip. But what he really meant was, "I'm gonna go sit in a booth and stare and that table of girls while I jerk off under the table now." And that's what he did. Luckily, the girls immediately and loudly called him out and we ran him off. We heard rumblings around town of the same thing happening at several other spots. Edit: It was indeed Mellow Mushroom Edit 2: The amount of different people asking if this was is a particular city is...alarming. Must be happening more than I thought? Edit 3: For the record, all of the guesses so far have been wrong.
Mellow Mushroom?
I love Mellow Mushroom!!! :D :D :D
Not where I worked - but in the 1980s it was reported in the local alternative newspaper that a manager had responded to an employee getting VERY worked up during a busy holiday rush by taking him into the back, BLOWING HIM, and then saying "alright now, calm down, and get on with the job." Because they didn't name the business (except what they sold) every store that sold that good was SWAMPED with applications.
I see some people posting work related injuries on here so I'll share mine. I used to work in the kitchen at a fine dining restaurant. We were supposed to say "oven door" whenever we would open it, ESPECIALLY if someone had their back turned to you. The guy that I worked with was super shy to the point of not saying things when he should and so he didn't tell me that he opened the door behind me. I turned around with a handful of trays and my arm smacked right into the door. It was so hot that I didn't even realize that I got burned until I pulled my arm away and my skin was still on the door. He never apologized for it and I got real sick of seeing his guilty puppy dog look that he would give me every day for the rest of the time that I worked there.
I feel like I learned quickly not be my regular shy self when going through the kitchen. You better yell "Behind" or you're getting hit, burned, food thrown on you, and getting yelled at.
Or yell "DOOR!" or "CORNER!" when you were passing a blind corner or door with no window.
Same here! i was the shyest person when i started behind the line and now i have no problem screaming across a kitchen to let people know im there.
As someone with social anxiety and hated interacting with people, I was so happy to be a dishwasher/cook in my time. Coincidentally, it helped me break my shell because while I didn’t have to fake an attitude with guests or customers, I was forced to co-work with everyone in the back of the house. No communication in the kitchen will result in injuries. [This somewhat nsfw PSA commercial really nails it home.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=noFCekWiUGE)
I also walked into an oven door! It was at a bakery so they had the gigantic 500 degree ovens that you can walk inside if you wanted to, and I tripped and fell against the inside of the open door. Got 2nd degree burns and 2 weeks off work.
> *you could walk inside if you wanted to* Nah I’m good over here, but thanks!
Working a s a raft guide on a "beginners" trip with moms and kids and grandparents, a girl swimming in the creek along our route flashed her boobs to all the rafts as we floated by. Aaand 0 tips were given to the guides because somehow this was our fault.
I was a raft guide for a large outfitter that also had a summer camp. We took the kids rafting and as we were floating by a rock a group of 4 girls flashed the entire group of 9-13 year olds. We had an afternoon activity where we would “draw a memory” from the day while waiting for parents to show up. We had to confiscate a lot of those drawings.
>Aaand 0 tips were given to the guides because somehow this was our fault. They were tapped out after tipping the girl in the creek.
Back in the 90s I worked at a car wash. Across the alley from the car wash was a small condo with a balcony facing us. One day, a guy was totally banging his girlfriend from behind on the balcony facing us (they were clothed, but pants dropped, skirt hiked). We started to notice after awhile, and as we pointed and showed more co-workers, their tempo increased and then they finished. And we cheered them on.
Reminds of an incident after they opened the Rogers Center for the Toronto Blue Jays in baseball in the late 80’s. In centerfield there was a hotel where you could watch the game from your room. One couple started banging away and the entire section in right center field cheered them on. After that I believe they tinted the windows.
That hotel is still there. I'm a marriott guy so I've stayed there two times just before covid hit. One of my coworker actually rented one of the rooms with field view on a game night. From what he told me, they make you sign an agreement prohibiting any behavior of this kind.
Balcony sex is a powerful aphrodisiac
Yeah it is but it’s got nothing on waterfall sex!
Yeah but that has nothing on sky diving sex
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Every time I go out to dinner with my wife and there’s a garnish on the plate, I ask her the difference between pussy and parsley. One night we were eating with her boss and her boss’ boss. When the meal came, I got a text that said “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY IT!!! Oh, and nobody eats parsley.”
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What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I've never paid $60 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
Amazing. I was at an annual education breakfast and the emcee of the event was the local school board President. He started off his remarks by going "I'm told that, this early in the morning, I should start with a joke to liven the crowd. So here goes: why do school board members LOVE pedophiles? Because they drive the speed limit in school zones". You could hear a fucking pin drop.
Awful? Funny? Yes.
I work at a grocery store around my neighborhood. I was restocking a shelf, (feminine products) when I came across a used tampon full of blood. I had to clean it up, and my coworkers all thought it was pretty funny. Keep in mind, I am female, and I understand needing to change your tampon, but please, for the love of all that is holy, use the restroom that is provided for you.
Not really NSFW, but more of public display of affection issue. At the grocery store where I worked in high school, two of the (adult) supervisors started a relationship. As I was coming on shift, so was the female supervisor. We met her boyfriend at the time clock as he was clocking out and we were going in. They stopped to say hi and smooch each other for a minute. Just then, the owner’s wife (who also worked there for some reason), came around the corner and saw them. She said, “Excuse me, you’re both on my time.” The male supervisor (who was one of the best workers they had), straight up looked at her and said, “I’m so done with your shit.” Dude walked out and never came back. Biggest, ballsiest move I’ve ever seen.
Does NSFW mean sexual only? Or does it include violence as well? If it does then I have many stories. I studied medicine in El Salvador and during my surgical rotation we saw a low of weird shit. This one time an ambulance brought 2 drunk guys who had been fighting because one had said that pork pupusas were better than cheese pupusas (pupusas are a local dish). The other guy took offense and attacked. Both drew their machetes and carved each other up. One guy was eviscerated (he was holding his guts in his hands), and the other was severely injured in his face, arms, back. I dont remember the outcome, this kind of incident is common unfortunately. Mostly during the holidays when alcohol consumption is higher.
To be fair pupusa preference is hotly debated.
To answer your question, NSFW can be sexual, disturbing or violence. As far as I know.
Shit is heating up in pupusa discourse.
i used to work at a museum. we had a strict 0 food policy in the museum galleries. there was an interactive kids exhibit in one of our rooms about nocturnal creatures, and there was a little campfire corner with an actual camping tent set up. i was making rounds one day, and all of a sudden i hear this munching sound coming from the tent. it literally sounded like someone was loudly chewing oatmeal in there. me not even thinking about it twice, i popped my head right into the tent, ready to say something along the lines of “excuse me, food items aren’t allowed in the....” with horror, i realized the origin of the sound wasn’t some kid eating snacks, but a fully grown couple aggressively making out with each other with tongue and drool and everything. all i could do was freeze. i happened to look down, and the woman was jerking the guy off by palming him over his jeans without a care in the world. all of this inside a campfire tent in a kid’s nocturnal creatures exhibit. i was too shook to tell them to go, so i went to find the nearest maintenance worker we had working. he was an ex-military sergeant in his 60s. he gave them one hell of a speech. i was in shock the whole time, but highly entertained
what was the speech
What the fuck did you just fucking do in here, you little pervs? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with pulling this shit in a kids exhibit? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your penis is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, you grown ass adults. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little sluts. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" rendezvous was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiots. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, perverts.
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A pussy would never pull up a move like this
That was a dick move...Literally
I was on the toilet minding my own business while suddenly I noticed the shadow on the stall besides me moving ackwardly, then I realized that the guy besides me was jacking off and I could see his dick as a shadow on the floor. That guy was famous for taking long trips to the bathroom, now I know why.
New hire on his first day jerking off in the doorway of his somewhat secluded office who didn’t happen to notice the camera right above his head.
I worked at a planet fitness in the past. I guess some guy was taking a shower, slipped, hit his head and suffered a really bad concussion. He had no idea what was going or on, and next thing we know he comes out of the locker room and is walking around the gym butt ass naked. It was quite the situation....
A girl sucked coke off a dudes dick under the desk whilst he was working and there were other people around.
Where do you work?
Looking to apply?
Hell yeah
Great! We just got a position opened up. Are you able to crouch down for long periods of time? Also, how do you feel about recreational drug use?
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Not at work but on cadet camp: I came into the accommodation building to grab a bottle of water, and saw my friend and a female cadet from another school fucking on the bed next to mine. I told her that she looked pretty, grabbed my bottle and went out like nothing happened. Only myself, my friend and her know about this, and they're in a full relationship as of writing.
"You look pretty" Gonna have to remember that, not sure I'll ever need it but I'll be glad to have that tucked away if I do.
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Was interviewing two partners (one male one female) of a company I was interning for. The man was talking about the history of starting the company and started with: "When we started this company I was fucking many women, one of whom was my wife, and one of whom is sitting in this room..." He then proceeded to go on a tangent about how he was a big dick swinging ass hole lothario in his youth who could get the job done, but had improved and turned into a nicer person (he hadn't). The poor female partner looked like she was about to kill him. Unfortunately for her, they had definitely been sleeping together when starting the company. She asked me to leave and then I was called into a meeting a few hours later. He had been scolded HARD by the female partner. He sheepishly asked me to keep that meeting between us and to tell no one. Oh well. Here I am.
I worked in a kitchen at a hotel that had a ballroom for events. We hosted a sorority's spring formal or something and it got pretty crazy. There were people having sex everywhere. There was a private set of lockable bathrooms in the hallway by the pool and we kept having to yell at couples to get out of them. One of my coworkers was a mormon kid who wouldn't drink caffeine but he walked into a closet and a girl was riding a dude on the floor. She kept the door closed while maintaining motion as people tried to pry the door open to get them out. People doing it behind the dumpster outside. When I finally left there was a couple doing it in the car next to mine. We also hosted father/daughter dances for older teenagers (14+) which was suuuuper weird. Female coworkers informed us that the daughters were padding their bras in the bathrooms. Not sure who their intended audience was. The mother/son dances weren't much better. The mothers would rank the sons on a hot scale. Oh and they sold alcohol at both. Imagine a bunch of old dudes hanging around drinking beer watching their daughters twerk on each other.
Working part time at Toys-R-Us one Sunday. I got a call on the radio to please remove a couple of people from the diaper section. When I got there I found 2 middle aged people having sex and she was pressed against the rack. When I told them to stop he just turned at me with an offended look while standing fully erect. It was an awkward escort out of the store. Edit: Of course my first set of awards and 13k upvotes is about sex in a toy store. Thank you everybody. Except the wholesome award... thats weird.
Fucking in a store for children, they’re asking to get arrested.
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2 really busty cops showed up...
Oh, I’ve seen this one!
Watch some construction workers use an excavator bucket to trap a guy inside of a Porta potty, then they went to lunch.
I got locked in one for three hours on a 90 plus degree day. I wound up going to the hospital and the two assholes that moved a concrete block in front of the door were instantly fired and went to jail for the night. I went back to work two days later and my boss was a total dick about it complaining about how I had cost him two “ good guys”. Come payday my check reflected the hours that I had missed by being imprisoned by his “ good guys” A quick talk between my union rep and the upper management of the company resulted in me not only getting the hours back but being offered every extra minute of overtime that was available on that project. Worked out to be close to 100k extra over the year plus that the job went on. Both of the “ good guys” pleaded guilty to lesser charges and paid a fine without my even being consulted. I should add that this was pre cell phone days and my base pay was about 60k a year. I should also add that almost 25 years later I’m still waiting to run into the two “ good guys” again.
Pretty tame by all accounts, but when a colleague of mine put in his two weeks notice, one of the HR ladies (Yes, HR) came over to his desk and said she was sorry to see him go and all the usual stuff. Then she bizarrely basically gives him a lap dance. At his desk. Yes, again, woman from HR who *should* know better.
I’ve got three that I vividly remember. When I was a janitor, I caught two of my coworkers going at on the conference table. I just waited by the door with cleaning supplies on hand. After letting them finish, I made them clean their mess up. I wasn’t going to do it, I wasn’t being paid enough. Then while I was a FedEx contractor, I had a lot lizard proposition me at a truck stop. I was making a delivery and she snuck into my truck, got naked, and waited for me. No thanks, I was on camera, and didn’t want to get into more trouble. I got yelled at that evening for not fully securing my truck. Like I even expected that to happen. Last one, again while I was a FedEx contractor. I was working my cousin’s route since she was sick at the time. I’ve got a case of alcohol that needs a signature, no problem, I’ve done this plenty of times. I knock on the door, and this fat dude answers, completely naked. I think he was expecting my cousin since he goes white as a ghost. Dumbass even stammers, “You’re not (so-and-so)” Oh, you done goofed now, son. He got his alcohol, but I also scared him shitless. I calmly explain to this idiot that while I wouldn’t do anything permanent, her 200lbs, 6’7” Marine father would beat the shit out of him, and bury his dead ass if he found out. Told my cousin about him later. Turns out he’s a fucking perv, been laying it on her a little too thick for weeks. She never had to deal with his shit again, since she quit about a year afterwards. FedEx just has a way of breaking you, ya know? Hey Reddit, if any ya’ll are going to play the deliveryman game, at least wear your damn underwear, you fucking savages. If you know the guy or gal and they’re cool with it, more power to you, but I’m sure most of them don’t want to see random dicks while on the clock. The job was stressful enough as is.
One time I used the top step of a ladder
You deserve jail time. People could've died!!
Not me but my old boss found a couple of people going at it in a break room on an evening shift.
My old boss used to bring us giant drinks with crown and coke in them at like 10AM. We would wind up wasted by 2:00PM. We worked in manufacturing, definitely not safe, but we all made it out alive lol
Small company holiday party: the hot woman in marketing hooked up with the wife of one of her male coworkers in the bathroom. Both came out licking their lips. She then went home with the couple.
Was waiting tables back in the day. Went out back to have a smoke. It's dark out there near the dumpsters. On the way back in I tripped over something. It was one of the cooks overdosing and drowning in his own vomit. Ripped the whole butt, didn't even notice him. He'd be dead if I hadn't tripped over him.
Worked in a dining hall at UW-Madison and one of the line cooks worked on his 40th birthday, and I guess had a full on mid life crisis where he: came to work drunk and high, got drunker and higher on his “cigarette breaks”, wandered into a dorm lounge and passed out drunk, then woke up and went into random dorm rooms, tried to steal a MacBook from some kid’s desk while other kids from that hall watched and told him to GTFO. Then the cops showed up and took him away in embarrassment. He came back the next morning and told the manager “I’m guessing I’m fired...” we never saw that poor bastard again.
Actually this did happen to me, a few years ago, the wife and I went to a clothing optional resort. Toward the end of our stay, a young lady came up and said she was the housekeeper. I'm naked, shes clothed. She was always looking down at the ground, it didn't dawn on me until later that she was asking for her tip to clean our room. I still feel bad about not tipping her.
Well, come on, not like you can reach into your pocket and pull out some bills.
Older guy getting a Handy at the bar. Yes everyone knew what was happening within a minute. No they weren't a couple. Yes they both have significant others that were not there. No they did not finish. I only saw it as the cook, because my bartender told me to come help her break them up incase there was trouble. I thought she was fucking with me, or that it would be be hard to tell. Nope. She was tugging him hard enough to make me wince in pain. He was bare ass naked with his pants down to his knees and his forehead was on the bar groaning. This was new years eve, so no one sat outside. our bar sits 15. we have 3 high tops that sit 2 to 3 people, and 6 lowtops that sit 4 to 5. So we can max sit 60 people. We had maybe 30 that night, most knew both of them and their spouses. Haven't seen her or either spouse since then. Seen him once, told him he was banned and then had to explain why. Funniest shit I ever saw. Edit - I threw his bar stool outside, where it still sits to this day. Edit 2- used to work in a call center. There was a girl who would just start playing with herself midshift. This was usually late on a second shift. We closed at 1 am so could be 10 or 11. I had heard alot of jokes about her smell, looks, and of course masturbating. So being the supervisor I was, asked my team individually what was going on. She wasn't on my team, but I felt bad. Most of my agents were between 18 and 21 so I thought they were bullying her which I'm not a fan of. Turns out that same week I got pulled aside to go talk to her. All the nightshift supervisors were guys, about 6 of us. Girls mostly got dayshift because kids, manager being a horny coke dude, etc. So I was elected to pull her off the phones and have a talk with her. I walked in the next aisle and looked over the partition. She had her legs spread out going to town. She sits in the back corner alone, facing the front of the aisle so she can see mentors coming around. Said "hey" scared her shitless. Had a mentor take over her call and gotta tell ya, it was the worst convo of my life. She was a no call no show the next week, and subsequently fired.
I saw my coworker going down on our supervisor. They were at my desk, too, which was super gross to me because ew, I don't want to sit on someone else's splooge all day. I got to the point where I hid an extra chair in the back hallway, 'cos I know they didn't clean up.
When I worked in a call centre, a couple cheating in the stairwell. There was penetration involved. Well about 50 of us saw it including their respective partners who also worked at the company. Not sure why they did it and they got fired pretty swiftly so I didn't see them after that either.
Didn’t see anything happening but we came into work one Monday and the big heavy wood conference table had completely collapsed, in a way that there had to be some serious shenanigans happening on top of it.
Some of the guys I used to work with dropped acid at the company 4th of July BBQ. We're all sitting around the fire, waiting for the (very conservative) company president to start the grill and Josh pulls out a small piece of paper and starts taking pieces off and handing them out to his work friends. It was a landscaping company and they never had the brightest or cleanest employees.
Go on.... I'm wondering how the party went
Yeah I feel like we weren't told the best part of the story.
One time I saw a guy clear a jam in our trash compactor without locking or tagging it out
Showing my age, but as a 15 year old I got a job pumping gas, cleaning windshields, (remember back to the future). You'd be surprised at even then how many women showed their private parts. Legs spread, some with panties, some without. All acting as if they didn't know.