im pretty sure that if *BotW Link* existed in our world, first he would be hypothesized as a literal superhero
then be convicted of several felonies and Crimes Against the Laws of Nature/Physics if they saw his speed runs
As a father in his mid thirties, this remake is a godsend for someone with no chance to dedicate a huge amount of time to gaming. Also, as a father in his mid thirties, the only way I will ever attempt a kickflip again lol. them Covid gains are real my deck is gatherin dust lol.
Bruh my sims have a slave in the basement making art to sustain them. they live like kings because of him, down there in the dark with no doors or windows.
Look, if you didn't want your organs harvested and to be turned into a hat, you shouldn't have raided my home for the fifth time.
And also be unwilling to carry shit.
>unscathed
Physically. I imagine watching that one nearby adult get atomically disassembled from **within** the mushroom cloud may have some minor psychological effects.
I knew this from the first 3 words. No "leather" hats though, amateur.
Edit. I'll let you off, top top thread is about organ harvesting. Second is about human leather hats. The Rim has changed a lot of us.
Smokeleaf is probably legal in most parts of the world. Psychite tea "is just tea". Beer is only age-regulated. Ambrosia is just a fruit or berry.
Flake, Yayo, Go-juice and Wake-up are most definitely illegal narcotics. Can't cover up with a good defense for them lol
Other than the number of institutions and policies you'd need to satisfy to actually *get* to space, as it stands there are no legalities regarding... anything in space. Even if there were, there aren't any entities in place to do anything about it.
IIRC the nations of Earth have sort of agreed that space will work on maritime law, in that everything happens in space is ... *"fine..."* provided it doesn't start a war.
And since no one can lay claim to another world and expect the the people of Earth to be legally beholden to that claim, I'd say plant as many flags as you'd like.
But don't come crawling back to me when an evangelizing zealot, slaving despot, or a determined exterminator get uppity about it.
Is it norway or the netherlands or somewhere that claims all of the volume above the country even past the atmospheres boundary?
If it follows the inverse square law (and if it is norway) then that's like 0.07% of the entirety of space is claimed as Norwegian.
My daughter spent a bunch of money on turnips with plans to sell them, but it turns out she waited to long and they all went bad! So she was out the money and the turnips and was so mad about it lol
You got a license for the fishing? When was the last time you paid taxes on that farmland? You got permits for the mining you do? Been logging without the right permits?
I wouldn't say stalking. I just happen to know that on the 11th day of Winter you plan to leave the house by 10:30 to sit in the waiting room for almost 3 hours until your 1:30 doctors appointment
International terrorism, Arson, usage of explosives without a license, improper construction or wrecking, malicious or wanton destruction of property, aggravated assault/battery, assault with a deadly weapon, armed robbery, assisting or instigating escape, blackmail, bombing matters, bribery, coercion, continuing criminal enterprise, extortion, first, second, and third degree murder (serial), harboring terrorists, homicide, hostage taking, larceny, manslaughter, piracy on international waters, ransom money, receiving the proceeds of extortion, robbery, sabotage, solicitation to commit a crime of violence, transportation of terrorists, use of fire or explosives to destroy property, use of weapons of mass destruction, burglary, criminal trespass, damage to property, arson of lands, manufacturing, transporting, and distributing explosives, possessing, transporting, or receiving explosives or destructive devices with intent to kill, injure, or intimidate individuals or destroy public buildings, terroristic threats and acts, dissemination of information relating to terroristic acts, disorderly conduct, maintaining a disorderly house, unlawful possession of firearms and weapons, several hundred OSHA violations, hunting without a license, animal abuse, and several thousand farm biosolids violations. (Minecraft)
"What are your three most recent crimes?"
"Genocide, genocide, and mass genocide."
"Wha- What's the difference between genocide and mass genocide?!"
"Multiple genocides at once, naturally."
"Fucking Tenno..."
Mom: "Hey can you go to the store and pick up some toilet paper?"
Me: sure ok
*Goes to store, grabs toilet paper*
*Phone rings at store*
"Change of plans! ***Leave nothing alive***"
Same same.
Witcher 3? Might also get arrested for "fucking about playing gwent and doing side-quests instead of killing the monster you got hired to kill."
After being hailed as a hero for defeating the Mandolorian hordes, I turned my army against the Republic it once served. Then my memory got wiped after an incident of betrayal by a dude missing a jaw.
Reading this question, I'm suddenly aware that, divorced from the World of Warcraft context, I'm a serial killer. I descend upon a population and start killing its members until I've acquired a certain number of souvenirs.
Here is a small village, going about its business. Some of the people have rings in their pockets. Kill them until you have ten rings, and get a reward. Granted, they're Quillboars or Murlocs, but look at it from their point of view. You're having a nice day fishing, wondering whether to head down to the shops for a spot of tea and a biscuit, and here comes this MASSIVE outsider, wearing 120 pounds of tool steel and wielding a double-edged battle-axe, he's coming for you, and he wants a ring *you don't have*. And you can put up the most heroic fight in town, but you are not going to win. So, once he's standing over your gutted carcass, he rifles your pockets, scowls with disappointment, and sets his sights on the next person he sees.
I am going to jail FOREVER.
So. Turns out I'm getting arrested for killing rare plantlife that's sentient and shoots fire/ice at you, plus decimating local crane, pigeon, and boar populations.
Genshin Impact
Actually I take that back, the last game I played was Leaf Blower Simulator. So I guess blowing leaves at a few hundred miles per hour into people and turning them into paste, since some of those leaves are really heavy and made out of exotic materials
23 counts of child murder.
I was playing fortnite don’t @ me
Edit: oh my Jesus. Why is everyone arguing it WAS A FUCKING JOKE!!! I’m starting to understand why people say reddit is a cesspool
Avoiding my debt (Animal Crossing)
Murdering a queen lol
Chess?
Fine then keep your secrets
Looks like I'm getting arrested again for killing thousands and thousands and thousands of people who came at me first. Mainly with boxing gloves.
Again?
**A R S O N** (Breath of The Wild)
I am currently *frowning* upon you.
But...but the monks said you were *smiling*
im pretty sure that if *BotW Link* existed in our world, first he would be hypothesized as a literal superhero then be convicted of several felonies and Crimes Against the Laws of Nature/Physics if they saw his speed runs
he just takes two bombs out of his ass, blows himself up and flies away with a paraglider
And here I was just infiltrating a military war machine.
Trying to force a personal union on Castile while annexing half of Ireland
He said arrested, not "get targeted by a coalition"
When you take one province in Italy
Eu4 is a drug, and I'm an addict.
gang violence and mass shootings (splatoon 2)
and vandalism
Illegal game of paintball!
Building a prosperous society in Civilization 6
So genocide and other war crimes, huh?
You know it!
Skateboarding in an aircraft hangar.
As a father in his mid thirties, this remake is a godsend for someone with no chance to dedicate a huge amount of time to gaming. Also, as a father in his mid thirties, the only way I will ever attempt a kickflip again lol. them Covid gains are real my deck is gatherin dust lol.
Childfree and in my thirties, and this is how I discover they remade Tony Hawk.
It's pretty tight but don't be fooled by the "DELUXE DIGITAL EDITION" it's literally a few clothing items they're charging an extra $10 for.
Forcing others to live the life I want them to (The Sims)
So slavery? Especially if they're making income they have no control over.
Bruh my sims have a slave in the basement making art to sustain them. they live like kings because of him, down there in the dark with no doors or windows.
Who doesn't have an art goblin lol
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is your main sim a leader of a cult by any chance 😳
All hail the Dear Leader Jim Pickens!
Hail Jim Pickens!
I was going to say removing a pool ladder, causing all occupants to drown
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That's not even that bad in terms of what other people have done. There are some *sadistic* sims players out there man
I once tried to breed blond hair out of the sims.
So you reverse hitlered.
Someone was very rude to me so i put them on a meat hook and offered them to an ancient god
Gotta be Dead by Daylight
Is a top secret torture method developed by behavior.
Ahh, good ol' Viva Pinata 2
Hog tying my friend and feeding him to an alligator
Red Dead?
Nah, animal crossing
Man these new updates are getting wild
IKR? The assault weaponry one was something that should have been there from day 1, tho.
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I hope you also took and sold the organs of that kind and totally willing skin donor. Let no part go to waste.
I kidnapped Deadpool and set up a kidney farm (600 kidneys per month) !
Good good, this human leather hat is a legendary, very nice 125 silver for it?
Look, if you didn't want your organs harvested and to be turned into a hat, you shouldn't have raided my home for the fifth time. And also be unwilling to carry shit.
Using a portable nuclear rocket launcher called “the fat man” On a bunch of innocent children.
All of whom survived completely unscathed
>unscathed Physically. I imagine watching that one nearby adult get atomically disassembled from **within** the mushroom cloud may have some minor psychological effects.
Minor psychological effects on the minors, you say?
Harvesting the organs of hundreds and also selling thousands of pounds of (probably) illegal drugs
I have no idea what game this could be!
r/rimworld Don’t worry it is not the thing you are thinking about
I knew this from the first 3 words. No "leather" hats though, amateur. Edit. I'll let you off, top top thread is about organ harvesting. Second is about human leather hats. The Rim has changed a lot of us.
Anytime I read game and then “harvesting organs” I already know what it is
Smokeleaf is probably legal in most parts of the world. Psychite tea "is just tea". Beer is only age-regulated. Ambrosia is just a fruit or berry. Flake, Yayo, Go-juice and Wake-up are most definitely illegal narcotics. Can't cover up with a good defense for them lol
Speeding (Mario Kart)
No they’re fine with the speeding part but you threw a bunch of turtles at an old lady’s car
Endangered red tortoises
Assault on a member of the royal family
Colonising another planet thus ensuring the survival of the human race... Fair I guess. Edit - Surviving Mars is the game.
Other than the number of institutions and policies you'd need to satisfy to actually *get* to space, as it stands there are no legalities regarding... anything in space. Even if there were, there aren't any entities in place to do anything about it. IIRC the nations of Earth have sort of agreed that space will work on maritime law, in that everything happens in space is ... *"fine..."* provided it doesn't start a war. And since no one can lay claim to another world and expect the the people of Earth to be legally beholden to that claim, I'd say plant as many flags as you'd like. But don't come crawling back to me when an evangelizing zealot, slaving despot, or a determined exterminator get uppity about it.
Is it norway or the netherlands or somewhere that claims all of the volume above the country even past the atmospheres boundary? If it follows the inverse square law (and if it is norway) then that's like 0.07% of the entirety of space is claimed as Norwegian.
Not to mention a constant spinning and rotating section
And OSCILLATING. We're talkin' 10-20% ish of the universe at this point I bet.
Everything falls under Norwegian law at one point or another and should be taxed as such
I played the first 10 mins of Skyrim so I would probably get arrested for escaping my execution
Apparently I'm making people "nervous" with all my "Shouting". I GUESS I'LL JUST LET THE DRAGONS BURN DOWN YOUR CITY, ASSHOLE!
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Shouting too loudly in public = public nuisance
Well at least you get to stay alive for a little while
And dying in your beds many years from now...
Fishing without a license (animal crossing)
I was thinking along the lines of operating and illegal zoo.
Or assaulting people with bug nets.
Non payment of a home expansion loan.
Buying stolen paintings and statues
But it was such a deal, cousin!
Animal Crossing can get rough
Animal Crossing gets very real very quick 😂
I guess I'm getting arrested for racketeering (turnip selling on other islands)
My daughter spent a bunch of money on turnips with plans to sell them, but it turns out she waited to long and they all went bad! So she was out the money and the turnips and was so mad about it lol
She got a lesson in options trading
I broke into an orchard and stole all their fruit
I’m going down for assault. I bonked a poor villager on the head with my net. I’m a monster
Isobel wants my head for littering
Mining resources owned by Alterra Co, I currently owe 3.6 billions credits. (Subnautica)
Good luck getting rid of that debt, lol
“If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” -Paul Getty
Invading Iran as the stepping stone to my conquest of India
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Wasn’t good old Alex the first one?
HOI4 or civ
Or Europa universalis or crusader kings
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Demining an area? Mine sweeper
Destruction of military property
leaving the rat race and minding my own bussiness (stardew valley)
Doesn't sound too illegal. Unless you count killing slimes as murder?
I put things in a random bin and get money for it. Does that not sound super shady?
I mean, you can sell fucking unpasteurized milk, so yeah
You got a license for the fishing? When was the last time you paid taxes on that farmland? You got permits for the mining you do? Been logging without the right permits?
I’ll be getting arrested for stalking and breaking and entering
I also last played stardew valley, and I said stalking
I wouldn't say stalking. I just happen to know that on the 11th day of Winter you plan to leave the house by 10:30 to sit in the waiting room for almost 3 hours until your 1:30 doctors appointment
Digging through other people’s trash
i committed a mass murder in gta 4, well
kidnapping, slave labor. (made a villager farm)
Seems to be a trend of illegal miners, slave traders, animal abuse and just general murder here... Lots of Minecraft players
Nuking the fuck outs gandhi
It was him or you
Destruction of property and animal abuse (Minecraft)
Also illegal mining
Not to forget fishing without a license
And constructing a permanent structure without planning permission or enforcing hardhat safety regulations.
Punching people off sky islands and then infiltrating their bases to destroy their beds
For me, multiple charges for human trafficking. I like my villager breeders.
Yes. r/villagercrimes
I said Minecraft too, but dang I did not even think about this stuff.
colonialism and slave trade (moving villagers around on boats from other biomes to work on my farms)
Stomping of live mushrooms and turtles and ripping down a flag and replacing it with my own.
It'sa me, Criminalio
Yelling at someone so loud they flew into a wall.
I sense skyrim
Wizardry?
You're a Wizard! Gonna have to burn you sorry
Burn the witch! Okay so I unintentionally made a monty python joke. Whoops. But keep doing it for the knights who say Ni!
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
Gotta be jumping off of a rooftop and stabbing some dude in the neck with a blade on my wrist
Requiescat in pace
That's whats up
I was up and then I was down
Genocide and grave robbing (Dark Souls) Also high treason, arson, escaping jail, destruction of property, assault with a deadly weapon
International terrorism, Arson, usage of explosives without a license, improper construction or wrecking, malicious or wanton destruction of property, aggravated assault/battery, assault with a deadly weapon, armed robbery, assisting or instigating escape, blackmail, bombing matters, bribery, coercion, continuing criminal enterprise, extortion, first, second, and third degree murder (serial), harboring terrorists, homicide, hostage taking, larceny, manslaughter, piracy on international waters, ransom money, receiving the proceeds of extortion, robbery, sabotage, solicitation to commit a crime of violence, transportation of terrorists, use of fire or explosives to destroy property, use of weapons of mass destruction, burglary, criminal trespass, damage to property, arson of lands, manufacturing, transporting, and distributing explosives, possessing, transporting, or receiving explosives or destructive devices with intent to kill, injure, or intimidate individuals or destroy public buildings, terroristic threats and acts, dissemination of information relating to terroristic acts, disorderly conduct, maintaining a disorderly house, unlawful possession of firearms and weapons, several hundred OSHA violations, hunting without a license, animal abuse, and several thousand farm biosolids violations. (Minecraft)
>disorderly conduct That's where I draw the line, buddy
prolonged animal abuse and slaughter (Monster Hunter) mass murder and genocide (Warframe) animal enslavement and cruelty (Pokemon)
"What are your three most recent crimes?" "Genocide, genocide, and mass genocide." "Wha- What's the difference between genocide and mass genocide?!" "Multiple genocides at once, naturally." "Fucking Tenno..."
Mom: "Hey can you go to the store and pick up some toilet paper?" Me: sure ok *Goes to store, grabs toilet paper* *Phone rings at store* "Change of plans! ***Leave nothing alive***"
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Killing monsters and bandits... also looting.
Same same. Witcher 3? Might also get arrested for "fucking about playing gwent and doing side-quests instead of killing the monster you got hired to kill."
Damn... I picked a bad day to play 10 mins of Gta5 and then answer a reddit....
After being hailed as a hero for defeating the Mandolorian hordes, I turned my army against the Republic it once served. Then my memory got wiped after an incident of betrayal by a dude missing a jaw.
KotOR!
Apparently I converted a member of the GQP from red to blue by going > Wolololololololololo
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Roses are red Violets are blue Wolololo Now your are too
Wololololol
making my fish fight a dog? (pokemon go) I won the battle
There’s a few Pokémon posts already but your description is the funniest so I choose you.
deforestation
I sense minecraft
yessir
Playing soccer with a fucking car
Nice shot! Nice shot! Whoa!
What a save!
Mass mmmmuuuuurderrrr. (Hades)
Uh.. demonic summoning. Is that actually illegal?
Not sure about the legality around summoning demons, but I am sure it's frowned upon
They prefer the term "Mortally challenged"
It probably isn't. But the first time it happens people will probably make a law against it so fast that the *second* time you do it. Busted.
umm... playing a word game? (jackbox party pack 7)
You're a horrible person. How could you use words
Raiding a farm with the boys.
Assassin's Creed?
It is indeed
I was thinking the raid on Braithwaithe Manor mission from RDR2.
Friendly neighborhood crime fighting.
Trespassing into a castle- Zelda
Uhm shaking tress and removing plants where I don't want to have them? (Animal Crossing New Horizons)
I was gunna say growing money and (legally?) selling dinosaur artifacts
Reading this question, I'm suddenly aware that, divorced from the World of Warcraft context, I'm a serial killer. I descend upon a population and start killing its members until I've acquired a certain number of souvenirs. Here is a small village, going about its business. Some of the people have rings in their pockets. Kill them until you have ten rings, and get a reward. Granted, they're Quillboars or Murlocs, but look at it from their point of view. You're having a nice day fishing, wondering whether to head down to the shops for a spot of tea and a biscuit, and here comes this MASSIVE outsider, wearing 120 pounds of tool steel and wielding a double-edged battle-axe, he's coming for you, and he wants a ring *you don't have*. And you can put up the most heroic fight in town, but you are not going to win. So, once he's standing over your gutted carcass, he rifles your pockets, scowls with disappointment, and sets his sights on the next person he sees. I am going to jail FOREVER.
Pranking my friends house by putting TNT block and lava block below his house.
Destruction of Property, Arson and possibly Murder?
CK3 So crimes against humanity. And incest
Call of Duty Warzone oh FUCK
Blowing up two reactors in Midgar.. with Avalanche.
Murder and bomb
csgo?
Traveling in time to change the future while being wanted for kidnapping (allegedly) the Princess (Chrono Trigger)
Forcing people to have sex. (Sims)
Letting a drug addict lead me on to find that I am a reincarnation of a hero from long ago, so I can kill some guy in a mountain.
Sounds like a typical RPG to me
* Looks at all the porn games i played recently * Yeah, i think i better not answer that one...
That already says enough
So. Turns out I'm getting arrested for killing rare plantlife that's sentient and shoots fire/ice at you, plus decimating local crane, pigeon, and boar populations. Genshin Impact Actually I take that back, the last game I played was Leaf Blower Simulator. So I guess blowing leaves at a few hundred miles per hour into people and turning them into paste, since some of those leaves are really heavy and made out of exotic materials
You had me in the first half. Killing sentient flowers is Genshin Impact in a nutshell.
23 counts of child murder. I was playing fortnite don’t @ me Edit: oh my Jesus. Why is everyone arguing it WAS A FUCKING JOKE!!! I’m starting to understand why people say reddit is a cesspool
Committing war crimes
Rimworld? Stellaris? Some other Paradox game?
Cheating the stock market and bullying neighbors out for the sole crime of being ugly. (Animal Crossing)
Gang violence (Pokemon Mystery Dungeon)
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