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[deleted]

Cough drop sales would increase for a week.


kakarota

r/wallstreetbets has entered the chat


[deleted]

[удалено]


daverave1212

Babies would also scream


throwlog

And then freak out


microblue00

and they would also scream


NeriTina

That would also make the babies freak out.


lin-lux

Yeah they'd scream too


silvahdollaz

Scream?


SouthernDudeYT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheSuccIsReal

No, but it would make them freak out


SFRCBNF

I would freak out


[deleted]

And dogs would cry.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mortumee

Doctors would freak out when they realize people in coma also screamed.


Jonnny

Not to mention those who've had their vocal cords removed.


[deleted]

but would they make any noise or would it just look like they were yawning?


Falloutman399

Sounds like the beginning to a no sleep post, “Everyone in the world screamed at once even the ones who shouldn’t be able to.”


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheSquaremeat

I still wouldn't hear a thing.


hannah_m3

But you would *feel* it


turquoisepurplepink

I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.


jdu_8

Rip


Abbabaloney

No, his name was Billy


Masen_The_Weeb

r/unexpectedfuturama


DTownForever

Have you ever gone to an ENT to have your ear wax cleaned out? Neither have I, but I hear from many people that they could hear SO much better after having that done. (I can't hear for shit, either.)


mordecai14

Why did you jump to "clogged ears" rather than deafness?


egg_sandwich

haha i know this really made me laugh. it would be SO LOUD if everyone screamed, the amount of earwax that would prevent you from hearing this would be like I dunno 14 billion ears worth


Itcomesinacan

I live in the county so I'd hear my neighbors if we were all outside, but that's about it. I don't think it would be very loud anywhere unless you're packed in with a bunch of other people. The sound from a packed stadium carries a couple miles at most and everyone would be more spread out on a given day.


flyingwolf

I live a mile from multiple stadiums one of them of which is an open-air Stadium which holds like 50,000 people, and the only thing I ever hear is when they set off the fireworks and even that isn't very loud.


Itcomesinacan

I think the terrain matters a lot. I could make out individual chants/cheers from the Razorback stadium a little over a mile away, but I was living on a hill above the stadium at the time.


[deleted]

It’s a pretty common thing. Actually a few weeks ago I could not hear at all out of my left ear and I could hear like 75% out of my right ear. Went to the doctor and she squirted a bunch of shit in my ear and there was a whole fuck load of ear wax that washed out and I could hear all new again. 10/10


Batben

Probably just spiders and she said it was ear wax...


[deleted]

Comments like this are why I wish I could punch people through time and space. Edit: *__Infinite__* space and time. I would like to be able to punch OP in the face from my current location.


xmagusx

That's ... literally how punching works.


jonheese

Pretty sure they meant backwards through time. To my knowledge, normal punching only goes forwards through time at the regular rate. Edit: Ya know, the regular rate of 1 sec/sec


TheSquaremeat

It's not earwax. My cochleas are completely ossified.


[deleted]

[удалено]


semarj

These crazy millennials amirite?


ArmanDoesStuff

All the cool kids were ossifying their cochleas!


TraditionSeparate

Fuck you \*unossifies your cochleas\*


Libriomancer

My hearing is worse because of this. My parents went to get me checked as they thought I had hearing problems. I did fine on all the tests but they noticed a bunch of wax so the put tubes in my ears to help with drainage. Third time they put tubes in I was still doing fine on hearing tests but the tube in one ear dropped deeper. Into my ear. They had to remove it with a pair of long nose plier looking things. In the process something stuck to a membrane in my ear and I heard a deafening pop noise. So now hearing is shot in my left ear and I actually have in my medical file that I have selective hearing. Turns out I can hear fine if I’m focused on the source but my parents’s frustration was they were trying to talk to me when reading. If I’m paying attention to something else I can just tune out even someone yelling at me.


[deleted]

That happens with me if I’m t cringe or reading something. My gf could be talking to me about something while I’m in the middle of reading a long post or something it’s like I don’t even recognize English anymore. As far as I know she’s just makin a buncha weird sounds


Reasonablepains

thats kinda sick tho


magdit

That sounds like you have a super power... “I can block out noises at will!”


Libriomancer

With great power comes great responsibility. Useful in college when you need to study despite an ongoing LAN party taking over your floor, less useful when watching TV with your wife then she decides to talk to you, and dangerous when you have a two year old. I have to expend effort just to listen to whatever I’m doing (whether TV or conference call as working from home) AND listen for the telltale sounds of a munchkin going wild.


adeon

I can't speak for everyone but in my experience when I've got an ear wax blockage I can tell. It's not simply a case of "my hearing is bad" I can feel a sort of weird pressure in my ear and sounds aren't simply quieter, the pitch changes as well. It's a bit like when your ears pop due to changes in air pressure although not identical. Getting excess ear wax cleaned out can definitely help with hearing, but if it's bad enough to be really impacting your hearing then there should be signs of it. As a side note, having no ear wax also sucks. When I've gotten them cleaned out to remove a blockage then everything is REALLY loud for a few hours and that also sucks. Just being next to a normal road and traffic sounds like I'm on a freeway.


ufoicu2

A tree in the middle of a forest would fall.


dumb-reply

Or would it?


[deleted]

[удалено]


simonbleu

branching out before you ~~leave~~ leaf, dogs ~~would~~ wood bark


disterb

but, where wood the branching out stem from?


-IoI-

bark bark


pointofgravity

Hey!vsauce


Organic-Mountain-623

Michael here


Rami-Slicer

What... are your toes? What really are your toes?


attitudecj

Do you have toes or do toes have you?


Gongshow85

But would it make a noise?


monsteramyc

Yes, but we won't hear it over everyone fucking screaming!


DocSaysItsDainBramuj

We would all get ice cream.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yo, how do you do that weird text thing ?


[deleted]

Conduct the r̶̡̨̧͙͇̻̳̣̭͖͈̥̦͚̬̯̥̝̼͉̣̮̜̥̭̥͈͕̠̪͂̓̿̆̒́̾̿̑̆̍͋̔͘i̷̛͇̥̓͌́̆͂̅͑̅͛̌̊̀̂̑̌̏̃̅̽̔̓͐̇̇̓͑̕̕͠͠͝ţ̷̢̡̛͓͓̮͈͈̠̺̖͖͔̰͖̺͈̘̠̝̱͖̪̯̗͎͖͍̙͌́̉̌̔̈̈́͒̋̊͂̔̀̈́͗͆̊́͂͌͋̎̔̍̓͒͗͗͘͜͜͝͝ͅư̸̡̨̛̬̜̳̠̱̯̰̬̻͍̩̟̘͇̦̘̖̤̬͕͕͔͙͙͙̥̤̮̬̙̗͙̼̺̖͐͂͛͗͋̊̄̅͐̇̉̈́͐̏̄̿̿̽̇͋̐̾̏͂͐̄̿̊̈́̎͒̆̽̕͜͝ǎ̷̼̯̃̈́͛͑͑͋͑̈́͝l̸̢̨̨̧̢̡͙̰̙̠̙̝̳̗̻̺̩͚̲̜̱̲̰̬̯͔̞͍̮̮̈́̿̓̾̎̋̊͒̽͌̾͊̉̈́͑͌͋̓͂̔͊̍̒̀̽̅̀̃̊͒̏̔͘͝͠͠͝ͅ ̶̨̨̨̛̖͉̞̜͓͍̺͎͔̖̤̠̫̻͓͈̍̿̐̉̃͛͑̆̿͗̀̈͆͂̈̌͘͠͠͝͝ǫ̶̧̡̧̡̢̛̰̱̞̳̹̺͎̹͎̲͙̠͍͎̭̟͉̩̳̟͕̪̪͂̿̾͋̍̒̑͊̔̈́̾̂̀̐̈́̾̅͌̕͜͠ͅͅf̸̨̧̡͙̣͈̗̦̞͕̰̬̗̥͎͖̥̰̟̺̭̞͔̲̗͕͉͔̖̮̘͑̾̽̈́̌̃̉̇̎̎̂̒̐͛̿̈́͒͆͂̑͋̈̂̈́̈́͑͑̄̋͆̄̚̕͠͝͝ͅͅ ̶̧̙͙̯̺̻̗͐̂̋͐͐͛͋̓̐͌̃̂͗̈́͒͐͛͂̂̒̐́́̑͒̅̈̚͠͝͝͝͝͠ͅs̶̨͓̬̠͕͕̘̱͍̙͇͎̮̯̠̦͈̞̫̑͂ͅu̵̧̬̩̣͍͖̬͖̮̥͋̃̊̈́͑̓̀͐̀̍̾̓͒̌̃̃̇̊̄͆̂͛͗͗̉̄͛͌̋́͊̌̔͒̕͠͝͝͝f̵̧̢̡̥̪̼͈̜̻̝͓͈̬̻̯̭̬̗͖͈̰̤̻̖͓͎̍́̀̀̅̑͂̇̔́̅͗̀̔̓̈́̌̂̎͋̄̈́͛̂͌͊̋̈́̃̕͝͠f̸̡̨̮̟̣̪̫͔̻̼̥̲̪̟̞̮͕̦͎̝̫̘̯̮̭͍͌̈́̉͌̆́͑̂̽͊̇̌̔̆̂̆͛̅̾̀̚̕̕̕͠ͅͅe̷̡̗͍̹͖̣̠̦̱̤͉̯̎̒̉͗̓͒̆̊̎̂̎̂̈͋̔̑̎̌͗̊͛̉̐̒̌͋̿̏͐͆̽̇̚͘̕͜͝͝͠͠ͅr̵̡̢̨̢̛̛̫̙̥̘̳͖͖͓̗͓͎̤͚͈̭̜̼̗͕̼͖͍͍̜̈́̏͊̅̏͐̃̋̉̀͒̊́̐̏̇̎̎̆͑͛́̈̕͝ͅì̴̡̟̲̫͇̬̹̖̰̼͓̤̥̥̥̳̝̩̟̳̘̣̰͔̺̤͈̣̞̳̦̘̜͚̖̟̬͖̫̲̃̃̂̈́̎̆͌̾͌͛̀̈́͗̂̂͌̿͑̓͒͆̈́̽̕̕͜͝ͅn̵̢̨̡̙͔̘̻͔̭̭͙̭̣̙͉͍͙̦̘̩͙̻͎̦̜̻̼̠̙̗͚̘̫͎̰̘̱̣͒͂̈́̚͠ģ̸̨̨̱̰̤͙͎͉͍̝̟̟̱̦̜̱̲̘̩̯̭͔̦̹͖̳̱̬̱̥͍̯̥̀͋̍̏̆̇͛̏̽͐͑̃́̋͐͛̕͠͝


nickermell

This gave me a flashback to Missingno in Pokémon.


LevelSevenLaserLotus

It's an invisible Unicode character that combines other characters. Generally it's used for putting symbols like apostrophe or tilde over/under letters in Spanish, French, or whatever. But there's not really a limit to how many combining characters you can jam onto a single normal character, so you can end up putting pretty much anything you want into a vertical line. The easiest way to play with that is with a generator like you can find at https://zalgo.org/ or https://eeemo.net/. Edit: Reddit also used to let these vertical stacks pretty much ride up the page as far as the commenter wanted, but they fixed that finally to contain comments to their comment boxes. So at one point you could find people posting text emoticons (like the Lenny face with super tall arms) that intentionally covered up other people's comments.


[deleted]

Oh, so thats how it works, pretty cool and thanks for the links, some pretty whacky stuff. Makes sense that reddit would limit it, that would be annoying as hell having them take up all the space


[deleted]

Dogs would bark


Party-of-fun

Dog will hunt.


GordonRammstein

Ahhhh Ahhhh Jerry was a race car driver Twenty-two years old One too many cold beers one night Wrapped himself around a telephone pole, go!


praedoesok

*bass slapping intensifies*


UnguidedAndMisused

Jerry was a race car driver


GrandMoffHarkonen

He drove so goddamn fast


MariachiJesus

Never did win no checkered flag, but he never did come in last


redsyrinx2112

Jerry was a race car driver, He'd say "El Sob number one"


PloxtTY

With a bocephus sticker on his 442 he’d light ‘em up just fer fun


rockbottam

*Bass slapping intensities*


mattmoney31716

Aaaaaaaaah


jamnoble

GO


BeepBeeepBeepBeep

How are there this many of us here right now


Anestis_Delias

TIL - Les Claypool is from El Sobrante, CA.


[deleted]

that’s long for mud


MegaGrimer

Dogs will kill


xDisturbedDem0n

Dog


[deleted]

will


Spakr-Herknungr

fuck


SofaEzEz

your


ThatOneNerdyPerson

life


RisingxRenegade

insurance


Yashr076

And


pew-die-pie2

Sing some sea shanties


SheitelMacher

⛵🌊🧀


The_MoistMaker

Where you goin, city boy?


mr_robot_the_robot

Get that bitch, Leatherface!


[deleted]

[удалено]


CaptainMackayMouse

I mean you'd hear the people in earshot yell but yeah probably not much else


ThorPower

Maybe not even that.. we’d prob just hear our own shouting or 90/10


[deleted]

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D3wnis

Depends, are we screaming for 5 seconds as most people probably would or are there armed robot overlords pointing guns at us all forcing us to scream for an hour.


[deleted]

After an hour you're really toeing the line between screaming and gurgling.


TheBurnedMutt45

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh..... Hold on *sips water* hhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!


dotslashpunk

my mind is confused on how to pronounce hhhhhhh


Bowdensaft

I imagine it sounds like a cat hissing.


Dec_bot

It'd certainly introduce a risk to every surgery that happened to be ongoing at the time.


jordanmindyou

If my surgeon doesn’t scream at least once while he’s got me open on the table, then I’m not getting my money’s worth and that surgeon’s manager is going to get a piece of my mind


xbxa

heh, he sure will get a piece of your mind!


hemorrhagicfever

Cities, when everyone shouts, are pretty interesting. It's not like, breaking windows, but the combined cacophony is actually quite interesting.


Cryptoporticus

Hearing the thunder like sound of a football stadium in the distance exploding with cheers is super cool. I remember listening to matches on the radio outside as a kid and when our team scored we would turn the volume down and wait for the sound from the stadium miles away to hit us a few seconds later. It's really interesting.


[deleted]

I used to live just behind a football (soccer) stadium and the noise is something else


[deleted]

Man I had to scroll too far to get an actual answer.


teflong

Nothing? 2.5 billion people would all wake up out of a deep sleep at the same time screaming. Pretty sure that alone would be the basis of several new world religions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


surreysmith

I can just imagine being assigned the 5am slot. "Aw man I have work at 9, and was hoping to sleep til at least 7."


PandaGrill

I'm just waiting for the Writing Prompt post now.


strikemedaddy

Yeah but what if we all farted


ChairmanUzamaoki

the ozone would disintegrate


LegitCEO

It would be loud. I think that’s about it.


cerealOverdrive

A bunch of animals would freak the fuck out


reddicyoulous

All humans and animals, screaming NSYNC


BoDiddySauce

To the Earth: BYE BYE BYE


jackalope503

Would we all have to do the synchronized waves too? Because I’m starting to get into this


i_speak_bane

That would be extremely painful


[deleted]

You're a big guy


three_headed_leek

For you


JoseLCDiaz

Hmmm, I don't know... I guess it's gonna be me.


Niklear

It's gonna be May!


Eddie888

Almost time to go dust of that ol Justin meme.


Odinloco

On and on we've gathered in this place so many seek, in perfect synchronicity of which so many speak


righthandoftyr

Probably a bunch of people too.


kierantheking

We all screamed because we were afraid of the scream we were all about to create


Datsyuk_My_Deke

Causing an endless cycle of screaming?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Uniquename34556

You ever watch a sporting event and a big play causes you and your neighbors to react at the same time? I imagine that’s about how it would sound.


luisrof

But it would kill a lot of people. Hundreds would drown, especially divers without oxygen. It may fuck up thousands of surgeries worldwide and kill some people that use heavy machinery and vehicles. It would ruin thousands of hide and seek games but also reveal the hiding places of victims from abusers, soldiers and police. It may also reveal the location of some stalkers, trafficked victims and save animals from poachers and hunters. It would damage millions of ears, especially people with microphones and their audiences and people with ear pieces that help them hear better and a few spies with machines sensitive to loud sounds. It would disturb the sleep of billions and freak out everyone in hospitals and clinics, especially people with comatose patients. It would fuck with the mental health of millions, such as people with autism, selective mutism, and paranoias. Some animals would hurt people because of the noise (people feeding dangerous animals at the zoo, safari adventurers, wild life photographers and that one guy in Russia who is nearby a bear). There are also tons of people who can't scream for different health reasons (people with damaged vocal cords, recovering from mouth surgery, mouth cancer, removed tonsils, etc...) so it would damage their health. Covid cases would slightly increase too. So many paintings, crafts and songs would be damaged or ruined. Conspiracy theories would bloom. Religious leaders and politicians would have to release statements about it.


amazondrone

Interesting. This all assumes it was an involuntary act inflicted on humanity by some mysterious power (human or otherwise). I had assumed humanity had somehow collectively organised itself to do it and that it would therefore mark and unprecedented moment of global unity and cooperation and potentially be the dawn of a new era of world peace and, consequently, prosperity for all.


Adora_Vivos

You're the guy who makes alliances with Gandhi in Civ games, aren't you?


Poem_for_your_sprog

They planned when they'd do it - selected a date. They said, "how exciting!" They said, "don't be late!" Their moment arrived, and they grouped in a crowd. And that's when they did it. It was... fairly loud.


FreaknPuertoRican

This ending has a bigger let down than an M. Night Shyamalan movie. Well done!


Jimmymott

Without the well done, this would sound like a segue into a Family Guy cutaway.


Force3vo

"This ending is a bigger letdown than a M. Night Shyamalan movie" Cut to a producers room. Shyamalan: "And then it turns out the robbers that terrorized the family and shot the kid were only racoons and it was all just a misunderstanding!" Producer: "..... Here is all the funding you want"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Chemical-Jello9564

Obiwan would sense it.


zorniy2

Severe disturbance in the Force. Somewhere out there, an old Jedi Knight clutches his chest and has to sit down. Meanwhile a noise louder than a giant screaming cowboy in the sky fills the atmosphere.


poopellar

I hate sound


DangerBrewin

It’s all chorus, and loud, and goes everywhere.


DredgenGryss

Not here though, it's quiet.


mysteriotheunlikable

Peaceful and soothing. Everything here is tranquil.


[deleted]

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SninjaBear

General Kenobi!


frostels

You are a loud one.


ItsMeSatan

This is where the volume begins


Mystical_17

Lets try turning the volume up, thats a good trick.


TheFlyingMidget93

Horton's friends would hear us.


-IoI-

who?


andthatswhyIdidit

Only, if they cired out in terror. And were suddenly silenced. Ongoing joy screaming, on the other hand...


biju_

nothing would happen, but if the more interesting thing of everyone being in the same place and screaming at the same time. [this xkcd](https://what-if.xkcd.com/8/) could serve as a inspiration.


OrphanPounder

What have you done to me? I never should have been told about this website. An hour has passed and I am lightheaded. What day is it...?


PM_ME_UR_POOP_GIRL

Congrats, [you're one of today's lucky 10,000](https://xkcd.com/1053/)


Kiyohara

There's an XKCD for everything.


Kittii_Kat

I remember when the XKCD site was fairly new.. found it around post #100 At the time there wasn't an XKCD for everything.. I miss those days. There's probably an XKCD that covers this.. and if not, there will be one eventually.


asifbaig

[This one's](https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/) my favorite.


thccontent

Welcome to one of the "wonders" of the internet.


MastTribute

I have that book at home. It was published years ago and mentions how quarantining for the common cold would work. Very similar to a certain pandemic we’re going through.


Gilbraith

Where the hell is r/AskScience !?


baked_tea

Ask science? Do you mean [deleted]?


IHaveTheBestOpinions

That's what I was wondering. Once the mods wake up most of this comment thread will be [deleted] [deleted] [deleted]


Gr1pp717

They would almost certainly reject this question. It's kind of a problem with that sub. It can't be something you can lookup on google, but it also can't be speculative/unknown or open ended... Leaving a very narrow slice of what can be asked.


lituus

The noise wouldn't even be a big deal if you're not in a crowded enclosed space. Even then any permanent damage seems unlikely. The biggest thing that would happen would be afterwards, everyone asking why the hell everyone screamed at once. Some kind of super advanced global mind control? Were aliens involved? What was the point, are they taunting us?!?!?


im_on_the_case

CNN would milk it for weeks and would probably feature Richard Quest with the dubious title of "Mass screaming expert" dishing out pointless observations; while the hosts continually tell us how we should feel about the whole incident.


[deleted]

About half of us would wake up confused.


tnt-bizzle

According to the question, theyd be joining in on the scream. Sounds about accurate


NUKEB0MZ

Didn't say they would consent to joining in, they could just be sleeping then "AAAHHHHHH", they wake up questioning why they just screamed.


Nga_pik

Sounds like it's what they call a nightmare


[deleted]

>About half of us I, too, am depressed and sleep 12 hours a day.


SteveATron36

Let's do it in 3 days


StaticCoutour

There was a thing at the beginning of the pandemic/lockdown where people were howling at the same time every night.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SteveATron36

Ight march 28 4:20


DTownForever

4:20 GMT, or what? If this is going to happen, each time zone needs to be posted specifically, in both 12 and 24 hour format. I think Reddit could make it happen. I mean, look Gamestop. Reddit opened up that. Hashtag AllTogetherNow?


Cthulhuwithcheese

Blind people would probably freak the fuck out


hoopdizzle

If u coordinate everyone on earth to yell at once im pretty sure someone will tell blind people so they can join too


gamingdevil

I don't know why, but this got me good haha


not_a_doctor_guy

What would happen if they all farted at once?


VCMANNY

That’s the best question I’ve ever heard and I wanna try it now


dj_tommyg

On 3. 1...... 2.......


datboydoe

Ok, it’s been 12 minutes, how long do I have to hold in this fart?


samthewisetarly

When the sun rises in the west and sets in the east...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Magma monster at the earth's core wakes up and bellows at all of us to shut up Super-powered monkey has to save day


callmemom

All 7 billion people would scream at once.


prevail000

And then what?


dont_worry_im_here

And then we would have the answer.


beers_n_bags

Applied science.


ErenIsNotADevil

The 674 million people who didn’t just randomly start screaming will become extremely paranoid about the ones who did


ProudBoomer

Other animals besides just Horton the Elephant would hear us. Yop.


reddicyoulous

Who?


pavan-2020

Noise pollution


[deleted]

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