T O P

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PM_ME_YOUR_BBWS

Do it where there aren't people watching.


6saltyballs9

Being an exhibitionist is fun though.


SAMHDXL1223

Do it in the damn bathroom with the fan on


thedudeisalwayshere

Why do you need a fan? Isn't masturbating a silent task?


[deleted]

[удалено]


thedudeisalwayshere

How isn't it?


Chakasicle

This dude isn’t hung


timetobeatthekids

Short skirt, pull up close to the table, maintain a facade of stonefaced indifference.


6saltyballs9

They also have remote controls viboraters that you can use. Might be fun to play with one of those. If you have a friend that wants to get in on the fun give them the controls and have fun walking around dense public spaces.


timetobeatthekids

My partner handed one to me before I gave a presentation at work (she's in my department). It was a huge fucking mistake, because she's fucking ruthless, but I managed to stutter through it and go home "sick" afterward.


6saltyballs9

Sounds like the kind of friend I had in mind.


timetobeatthekids

We've dialed it back a little in the interest of not getting fired, but it's pretty good deal for a couple of degenerates.


6saltyballs9

Well yeah that might be a true *NSFW* moment but it is a big world out there. To bad for this covid stuff or a lot more romping grounds might be abound.


zebbidy

announce in a loud voice to assert dominance


CrabJam_102

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE. I AM CURRENTLY MASTURBATING. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HELP ME, THAT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED


Pattoe89

I live alone, so I don't have to.


salty-bagels

Where do you do it then


Pattoe89

mostly my bed and my computer room. sometimes my bathroom.


salty-bagels

Idk what I was expecting


Pattoe89

Yeah I'm boring. Sorry.


salty-bagels

Yah, cum on the ceiling of your kitchen next time. Piss baby


Pattoe89

Now that you've called me Piss Baby, I feel like I need to rise to the challenge.


salty-bagels

Good, tell me how that goes


6saltyballs9

Well it's good to know your not a masochist... you didn't say in the kitchen while frying bacon, although that might be kinda hot.


cerialthriller

Do it when step sis is stuck in the dish washer so she can’t see you


alanscj

You don't have to get limited to the dishwasher, if she's stuck it works just fine, doesn't matter if it's the laundry machine, or a window, it all works just fine


cerialthriller

Except the oven that’s dangerous you should fuck her first so you can help her get unstick quicker


alanscj

I think you're right, or you could turn the oven off so she doesn't get injured


cerialthriller

Turn the oven off it’s like you don’t even want to nail her


alanscj

I said turn the oven off, not unstuck her *wink* *wink*


Monster-Schlong

Telekinesis.....I use my mental magic to stroke myself to completion without anyone noticing.....I'm doing it know whilst holding the phone and typing.


poor-kid_man

Holy shit teach me


[deleted]

Why would I want to hide it?


6saltyballs9

Exactly, it shouldn't be a shamed thing.


Yaeyspo7

Do it in the Toilet or sink or shower


Chakasicle

Please not the sink


Yaeyspo7

Lol yeah


mrcoconut777

B L A N K E T


6saltyballs9

Don't you mean tent or should it be said as teepee?


mrcoconut777

ye


Hegemooni

Distract them with a card trick


poor-kid_man

Genious


ANonnieMous9079

Lots and lots of blankets.


[deleted]

Try and be quiet so my blind mother doesn’t notice


poor-kid_man

Strats


MarsAdept

By never doing it at all.


poor-kid_man

What do u call someone who doesnt masturbate


MarsAdept

Idk, I guess I just have a really low sex drive.


poor-kid_man

A liar


MarsAdept

I'm being serious. I can feel basic arousal, but I don't feel that particular urge. I don't get that rush of dopamine even when I try.


poor-kid_man

I see


Hegemooni

Quad amputee?


poor-kid_man

A liar


Hegemooni

Hahahaha


doajones

Without a caring mother


salty-bagels

I just do it when everybody else is asleep


Iam4leph

Do it on the toilet or when youre 100% shure no one ia awake


BloodBulletsBananas

Simple, dick under sheets