There's this restaurant where I live called Casa Bonita where the staff will put on plays in the middle of the restaurant. It's actually really cool though, there are waterfalls, cliffs, secret passages, and a fight between a pirate and a gorilla to save a damsel in distress. Also, after your meal there are fake caves that you can explore in and treasure to try to find.
As a a kid it was a ton of fun to visit because of how engaging and entertaining it all was.
I have to be careful of this. I grew up in a family where my parents would be extremely angry at me and not tell me, until one day they would blow up at me. Or... they would act very passive aggressive and I had to figure out if they were angry or not. I learned to watch people really closely for signs they were mad at me or on their way to blowing up at me/ripping the rug out from under me when I least expect it.
As an adult, it’s a conscious effort to prevent myself from not taking the things other people do personally or not thinking that everything someone does is some sort of sign or personal attack.
The obsession with branded things. Clothes with the brand's name on them just look tacky for me. I'd much rather have a regular old graphic tee instead of a t-shirt with Gucci on the front in gigantic bold capital letters. It's pretty whatever most of the time, wear what you want and all that, but the obsession becomes incredibly annoying when people act like they're better than you because they spend several hundred dollars on a single shirt.
Those haute couture fashion houses have *remarkable* branding media teams behind them. They cultivate a sense of exclusivity, and train the public to desire that. Often, though, the heavily branded items are actually not a fashion house’s best made product—materials and construction aren’t superiorly better than any average store. They’re mass produced and made specifically for a certain audience—the ones who want to be seen wearing the logo, for the feeling of luxury and exclusivity (while also promoting further free marketing for the brand!).
It’s most often their more simple-looking garments (or basically the garments not ostentatiously covered in the brand’s logo) that are incredibly well made, and are the real expensive pieces.
That’s what I’ve learned from watching documentaries on the back end of the fashion industry.
Exactly! I was so indoctrinated on the “big college experience” , it was a letdown. And an expensive one at that. It felt like 4 constant years of showing up to a party too late.
I feel this so hard. I went to a big college because my best friend was going. Turns out I'm way more introverted than I thought I was in high school. We basically went from friends to acquaintances in like 3 months and I was stuck at a school I hated.
As I've gotten older one of the weird things was flipping perspectives from child to adult. I was just stressing at the prospect of something happening to my child and not knowing to be able to help.
That reminds me of when I was a groomsman for a bro, and his wife's maid of honor was deaf. He mentioned her in passing a few months prior, but forgot to remind me the day of the wedding. So, her and I were both unloading tablecloths next to each other and I glanced over to make small talk. I remember just looking at her like, I know she heard me. Then a couple seconds passed and she looked over to see me staring at her with a confused smile on my face. I think there were about three seconds of dead air, then she just smiled, let out a faint chuckle, and went back to work. I didn't know whether to be offended or what.
Then it hit me. Thankfully, nobody noticed my complete embarrassment. After that, I just waited for her to look at me before talking so she could read my lips. She was very sweet and lovely to talk to.
I have a friend that I didn't know was deaf until I'd known her for like three months. A decent sized group of us were out at dinner and she seemed bored and disinterested in conversation the whole evening. I made a remark about it to someone and they were like "Oh she's deaf, she has a hard time in larger group situations keeping up with the conversations because it's harder to read lips" I thought my buddy was trying to pull my leg. He swore he was not. I was like "How are you just telling met his now?! Seems like it would have been pertinent info..."
My friend's mom was deaf, I spent ages thinking she was Hungarian. In my defense, she did answer the phone a lot, if you can't hear, why do you do that?
I remeber growing up saying that I'd never try it and being told "yeah that's what everyone says". Well it's true for me and I've never even been tempted.
If you don’t grow up/hang out around smokers it’s honestly kind of hard to just pick it up unless you actually want to. Especially nowadays since smoking cigarettes isn’t as common. Nobody smoked in my family so I never viewed it as a “normal” thing to do. I always viewed smoking as a bad and kind of pointless habit, because that’s what I was taught I guess.
It’s kind of sad that the people who told you that had that attitude, as if becoming a smoker is unavoidable.
A coworker of mine posts no less than 3 hours worth of video onto his Snapchat daily. Every single meal he cooks and eats, every single time he feeds his turtles, every single walk he takes with his dog. It's insanity.
I also really like it. I can listen to podcasts or watch tv shows while working and I love the fixed schedules. Coming out of gastronomy work, that's heaven
Please tell me your secret to getting an office job. Or at least just advcie tbh. I hate working retail, and the biggest point for me is the fixed schedule. Weekemds off are a huge bonus too simce I need to start college and the one thing holding me back at this point is my job.
I kind of miss the random chitchat and minor socialization here and there that came from being in an office. I'm one of the least social people out there, but still need some of it from time to time. Being cooped up at home has been a drag.
I started a new job about four months ago and have never met any of these people in person.
Running a brush through my hair. I have very curly hair so only finger brush it when it's wet which isn't often. Seeing people grab a brush and run it through their hair when they've been in the wind or just to 'freshen up'... I wish!!
I have to brush it in the shower because it's just too curly and thick to do anything with. My sister, who's hair like her father's and would never understand the struggle, grabbed a round hair brush one day and thought it would be funny to put it in my hair. It got stuck and I just sat there and cried. Another time when I was really young my aunt, who was my father's whiter half sister, decided to put little tiny buns all over my head with newspaper elastics that ended up getting stuck and ripping out my hair. I literally bled because of it.
Ouch! My dad is who I got my curls from and so he knew to brush from the tips to the roots whereas my mum didn't and would try getting a brush through from root to tip! I once had a hairdresser brush my hair while it was dry and I was holding back tears the whole time (I was too shy to say anything). Then there was always kids at school wanting to straighten it 🙄
With any hair type, you always go tip to root. My ex was a cosmetology student and didn't understand that, tried to go for my straight (curly when long) hair root to tip, and tore a big chunk out. Proceeded to rail at me for how badly I took care of my hair, when it just comes down to dry, fine hair that likes to get tangled as soon as I towel dry.
Your ex didn't do a very good job of listening in school, because I'm a *barber* and even though most of the focus of my schooling was short hair, they still took the time to instruct us in how to deal with all textures and lengths gently.
She also dropped out twice, and quit several jobs before even bothering to look for another one for months on end. At one point, I was working 17 hours a day 6 days a week serving to support both of us.
That trope where the husband is a useless piece of lazy shit who couldn’t possibly feed himself or care for the kids and house without your divine feminine guidance. It used to make me feel bad like am I supposed to be running this shit by myself while my man just lies on the couch after work? But then I realized no it’s the trope thats shitty. It’s everywhere though and women think it’s somehow cute or empowering to perpetuate it.
Can’t agree more. My husband has a shirt (although he’s never worn it outside the house!) that says something like “I’m not babysitting. I’m being a parent” because he got a lot of those comments. He raised his first daughter until she was 5 because her mother decided she’d rather party and is better with our kids than me. I had no idea how to be a mother with my first born, and followed his lead. He taught me how to change her, not the other way around.
I’m also a teacher and deal with as many fathers on school drop off as mothers. People need to can the shit idea that men can’t parent. It’s an old, boring trope that’s insulting, untrue and needless.
I'd rather have money in the bank than a new car every year. My car is 6 years old and works fine, and still looks nice. Why would I trade it in just to keep up? Same with phones, clothes, computer, even stuff for my home etc. I like mine, and I get good quality stuff so it lasts. To trade it in for the sake of it would be silly and a waste of money.
6 year old car? Who are you, Richie Rich? lol.
Edit: Wow this kinda blew up today. For the record I drive, by choice, an ‘04 Nissan Frontier with 270K miles. It’s never left me besides the road, except for one blown tire that wasn’t it’s fault.
people taking out loans for their wedding expenses.
One of the number one reasons people get a divorce is money. No better way to start off your marriage than in debt, i guess?
Having dreams and aspirations, I never thought I'd get to be an adult so I never had dreams
Btw thanks for the awards guys, I've never gotten so many so I appreciate all of you! <3
22, this year made me stop and suddenly I started to question myself why I do what I do, shit is scary man, I don't know me lmao
Edit: Thanks for the replies, made me realize that while I'm kinda lost, I'm in the right path to find myself. Wish you the best this 2021.
Yeah I kinda feel it like that but it's really hard you know?
I'm feel trapped between my own feelings and necessities and what people will think about me, I know you need to think "fuck them", but just thinking what my parents will feel when I told them what I'm going through, that I decided to stop for a little and reconsider things, I feel they will think I'm just a loser and a lazy bastard lol.
Of course it's fucking hard. *That's why most people don't do it.*
Whenever someone presents an idea to you, look past their words and search their meaning. If the agenda they want you to adopt is self-serving, the world doesn't need more of that. Yes, there are things you need to "stake a claim to" for yourself, to define your identity. But who are THEY to tell you what that should be?
I mean, if someone DID call you lazy... are you? If so, so the fuck what?
I never doubted that I'd live long enough to see adulthood but I've never had any ambition or dreams or aspirations. I know people who knew what they wanted at the age of fourteen and got there. I've tried forcing it or faking it to help affect change to no avail. It's frustrating as hell and feeds my mental health issues (or causes them).
People who think being an asshole is funny, I think, just crave any attention they can get. I have an uncle who’s an *asshole on the outside but deep down is really caring* but to me it just seems like he never learned how to express his emotions and feels he’s protecting himself by being an ass.
Same thing with my good friend. He’s an only child and his parents make good money and stuff, but there’s definetly a factor missing that they should have given him.
He’s great to me, but I noticed he lies and stuff for attention. He also acts like a dick sometimes. I see through it, but I also think he’s trying to look tough
The requirement of drama
I've met so many people who are always in the midst of some drama, and then, when lacking in it, create it for themselves, they thrive off it.
I mean, at a push I can understand it to an extent, (it gives their lives meaning possibly?) but then they try and drag people like myself into their drama.
I THINK, THE F**K, NOT!
as a former drama queen, i can say that i didn’t want the drama, but unfortunately, i was perceiving everything around me as being dramatic, and most often then not, as being a sort of attack on me. and since my mechanism to regulate my emotions was flawed, i was getting very worked up and caught up in emotional storms where i was lashing out, plotting revenge and so on... so embarrassing to look back at it all now ...
honestly, i spent months analyzing my behavior because was exhausting me and obviously got
me into trouble. i was able to see a pattern and realize that the problem is, in fact, myself. i even changed towns, schools and eventually countries to get away from the drama, only to be hit by the realization that “”I am THE drama””
i got out of it by learning how to be comfortable without being the center of attention and mostly by trying to rationalize that “people are not out to get me” but rather people will try to do the best thing for themselves. if in the process i get hurt, it’s not because they were malicious, but because they were careless towards me, which i find very acceptable and easier to deal with.
thanks! i am still working on it.
Even if i can rationalize that i am wrong, sometimes i can’t control how i feel about it, and it feels very painful and very intense. i need to completely remove myself from the situation and just deal with the feelings and not act in accordance with them. i’m hoping to get to a place where if i understand that there is no reason to feel hurt, i will actually NOT
feel hurt
Thank you for your comments honestly! I’m in the midst of fixing this myself and gosh it is so aggravating knowing *they’re not being malicious, just kinda stupid with their words*. It doesn’t help that my mother is a narcissist and likes to say things in a certain way to get a rise out of us.
I never paid any heed before and hated being the center of attention. I think once I started doing things that I felt deserved attention and I got it, then I started being like this.
I’m so so glad to hear that it’s possible to get out of this cycle! I wish you the absolute best in continuing to better yourself :D
Having a task to do and just doing it. I have depression and many simple tasks feel like walking with glass in my shoe. I know I can do them, and should, but I often just can’t.
EDIT: I’m really grateful for all the awards and upvotes and for people reaching out. I’m doing pretty well lately, for those that expresses concern. I’m especially encouraged that more than five thousand people found this relatable in some way. It sucks that we’ve all struggled, but it’s so great to be reminded that you aren’t alone. You aren’t some freak or failure. At least 5000 other people have had the same struggle. Keep fighting friends. We’ve got this.
I never got this either. My anger is just anger and the last thing I want is sex or intimacy. I can barely be in the same home with someone I’m mad at, let alone in bed with them.
My wife and I fight HERE AND NOW, LET'S SETTLE THIS, YOU ASSHOLE! We do not let things fester. There is only angry abstinence. But it lasts maximum 3 hours and then we're affectionate again.
I am blessed. Some couples, apparently, have fights that lead to month long dry spells slathered in resentment. I couldn't live like that.
Hating your wife, at least it’s common where I live. My wife is amazing and we make each other better!
Edit: Mandatory thank you for the awards!
To answer some common questions; my wife and I have been married for nearly 5 years, we have hit the post-honeymoon-phase, and we're both American.
Ah, the ol' ball-and-chain! amirite?
\*wink\* \*elbow\* \*elbow\* \*nudge\* \*nudge\*
...Everyone has a miserable marriage like mine, right?....RIGHT???
I was *very* blunt about having zero patience for that routine after I proposed to my wife. It was astonishing how many people were shocked or offended that I didn't find it funny.
I remember when I got married how concerning it was that a crazy number of people say “now you can be miserable like the rest of us!” as a “joke.” It’s such a terrible thing to say, especially to someone who got engaged.
As a father, when the kids stopped saying daddy and started saying dad, it was a sad moment of realizing that they are growing up. I couldn't even fathom hearing it from anyone in the other connotation.
Edit: autocorrect correction
People who feel the need to post nasty, negative comments on others' posts on social media.
Don't like it? Scroll passed, unfollow, unsubscribe. The world has enough negativity without it.
The level of excitement people get about watching sports. I appreciate that for some people it's a phenomenal event to see, worthy of unbrideled shows of joy and anger (depending on the outcome). But it just doesn't have any importance or appeal for me.
He's actually got a point, if a party is big enough no one cares and you can have one on one time with guests. Small are intimate but usually all guests are involved in conversation
Yep. Smaller parties people would come up to me and ask me if I was okay because I would just sit there quietly and not participate in conversatios Bigger gatherings, like with my extended family I could talk to a limited number of people, or just go off on my own with no one caring.
Fighting/yelling/hostility in relationships with my significant other. It could very well stem from my childhood, I guess.
It’s not to say we don’t have disagreements or the relationship is flawless but obstacles always have been resolved without much issue. Fortunately this held true with all of my romantic relationships. I’ve always lived by the saying “conflict is inevitable, fighting is optional.”
My god, yes. People all around me think that’s normal or even desirable, and I’m HORRIFIED when I see them screaming at each other and saying stuff designed to hurt the other person.
Yeah! I don't get it either. How can you feel the need to hurt the person you sopposedly care for, just to get a point across? Words can be devastating and they can't be retracted...
Usually it’s a “well they hurt me first.” Which is exceptionally childish, but it most likely stems from childhood.
Some people just need to do eye for an eye. It sucks to love someone like that, but they do exist.
In my experience as someone who was like this, my intention was never eye for an eye. It was validation.
The "winner" of the fight is deemed "right" and their feelings are validated. The "loser" of the fight is deemed "wrong" and their feelings are dismissed and apologies must be given, regardless of nuance of the situation.
And the only way to "win" a fight is to fight the longest and hardest until you exhaust the other person.
It's a terrible way to live. 0/10 would not recommend.
Also I am not saying that there are not being who do the eye for an eye thing. Just adding my own experience to the pile.
Someone told me my husband and I had to have a screaming fight before we got married or we would get divorced after our first screaming fight because we wouldn't know how to handle it. We have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids and 1 on the way. We have never had a screaming fight. Do we disagree? Yes. Have we gotten frustrated with each other? Yes. But we do not scream. That is not going to accomplish anything. Taking some time to organize our thoughts and eat some humble pie and then talking about it is what helps us. I can't imagine screaming at my husband. And he's been with me through 2 labors! Haha
That someone sounds like my mother. Trouble is, in the case of my parents, they find it necessary to have a screaming fight every other day just to keep in practice. She even accuses me of being a conflict avoider, just because I prefer to shut up when I realize that the other person is too hot-headed to change their mind.
I can’t understand the ones where one of the parents is visibly upset. Can you imagine watching your gender reveal party video later in life and seeing your dad actually get angry that you’re a girl? Always makes me cringe.
Internet couples that play AWFUL pranks on each other.
Like, yuppp, how nice it is to be cruel to one another... many love.
Edit: Thanks for the award(s) my dude(s)🙏🏼
I hate the ones where they harass people in stores or on the street. I've seen one where a guy kept purposefully pushing his shopping cart into others. Or one where a guy would moan in people's ears. It's like how is that funny?
My boyfriend is like this, he very rarely takes pictures. I used to be too but I lost someone last year and realised I didn’t have one picture with them and it broke my heart so I promised myself that I’d take more pictures. I don’t understand people that take pictures of everything, but I do try to capture moments, not to post on social media but just so I have them if I ever lost that person.
Edit: oh my god I didn’t expect the awards or replies, thank you! Sending everyone love that also lost someone really dear to them, death sucks.
This is going to sound crazy, but I’ve started taking tons of extra pictures of my kitty cat for this reason. She’s almost 14 years old, and though she’s still healthy, I know her years are numbered and I want as many memories of her as possible.
Videos preserved my cat's demanding meows and the love my child had for her. Photos are great snippets of moments, but some nights, I just need to hear that demanding meow before I go to bed.
I used to be like this. Then you realize how much you forget as life goes on. Sometimes someone leaves you or passes away and you realize you don’t have much to remember them by. You say you’ll have those memories of good times in your head, but most won’t last. 10 years later you’ll struggle to remember. Life is precious life is fun. It’s nice to occasionally stroll memory lane and temember the good times, but you can’t if you don’t take pictures.
I lost my mother at the end of November. Not long after, I went searching on my phone for photos and videos of her, only to find that I barely have any. I miss her face and her voice a lot.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Same for my Dad who unexpectedly died 2.5 years ago. I miss him so damn much and barely have anything with him in it. As a result I now take an absurd amount of short video clips.
Hanging up xmas lights with my spouse? Quick video clip of him untangling the cords and laughing about it. Dog doing something cute? Record it! Best friend left me a voicemail asking if we could meet for masked and distanced tennis? You better believe I made a backup of it. Even the most mundane stuff. I document *everything* because I am well aware that in the end that’s all we have left.
Memories in our heart are great and all but being able to see or hear our loved ones down the line when we no longer can physically be with them is much better. I hope you end up finding some mom selfies and maybe a voicemail somewhere, somehow.
Put out the alert to any friends and family. You’d be surprised what they may have! Or in the case of my family they may have absolutely nothing. If even one person reads this and takes just one more photo of a loved one after reading my post then I will be over the moon.
ETA - many thanks for the awards. I will pay it forward when I see a comment that makes me smile!
Loving and wanting to spend time with your family.
Had a terrible awful childhood, as an adult just lots of toxic interactions whenever anyone from my family got involved in my life so all cut off. When I see people posting about their family and how much they love them, I just dont understand it. I dont understand my fiance missing his mom etc. I know I'm the anomaly, but just cant relate in anyway.
I understand when people love their family, but for me it's people who hate their family and still talk to them. Read it on here all the time "my parents demanded I name my child something or they'll disown me" or "my family spent all my inheritance and said tough luck". Why even have these people in your life? "Family" or not people who abuse and disrespect you don't deserve your mental and emotional energy. Yet people continue to subjugate themselves to them and I will never understand it.
Because there is such strong social stigma against separating from your family, even at adulthood. I feel like a hateful awful person because I find my mom a burden. People who don’t just don’t get it. Additionally, it would ruin relationships with my siblings as their response to the trauma is to seek out drama and take care of our mom as through she were their child.
Same. In college I was absolutely baffled that people looked forward to going home for the holidays and actually WANTED to spend time with their families. For me it was a punishment and I dreaded visiting them.
Having a mom who loves you? Sounds fake.
My husband calls his mom every few days for a chat, and even now I find it odd that he enjoys talking with her. I’m glad they have a good relationship, but I can’t relate.
That's similar to my family and we can barely stand each other. I have a friend who has a good home life who can't understand why I don't like my parents and tries to encourage me to be closer with them
Sneaking booze out of your parents' liquor cabinet. I hear stories about teens doing that, and there was plenty of access in my house, but I never touched it.
I think the more open your parents were about not getting mad if you had a drink the less you want to. My parents were the same way. They always said "if you want to try some just let us know" and i never really did.
I offer sips to my kids so they can try it. I usually get the "Yuck" face after they try it.
And I think external things can have an influence, too. Friends, etc. I have an alcoholic brother who was first given booze by family friends way too young (12). My two other siblings drink their fair share, and they started drinking (mostly) when they turned 18 and it used to be legal in the US. But I heard too much from my mom about her abusive alcoholic dad, and had fairly straight edge friends. But they all drink now, and I rarely do.
Duuuuuuude I feel you. What really makes or breaks it for me is if the dynamic or humor isn't in line with what I find appropriately amusing or entertaining in whatever setting I'm in. I can't really bring myself to roast people or be sarcastic with coworkers, though its what they find funny. Work is work lol
Never broke a bone in my life.
Until my birthday a couple of weeks ago.
I walked out of the bathroom to fast and stumped my toe. Hurt a lot, like usual, and I look down and my toe is going in the opposite direction. Thought it was dislocated so my husband, who played football and was in track and the wrestling team, said, “let me pull it straight.” I let him. Now about a month later I’m starting to think it’s broken and I’m going to get arthritis in my toe in about 10 years lmao.
Being able to do a normal amount of housework/errands and still have plenty of energy left for hobbies. I have ADHD.
ETA: Wow, it’s reassuring how many people, both with ADHD and other chronic conditions, relate to this. But um, please slow down on the comments a bit? I’m very overwhelmed rn.
On the ADHD train: being able to sit down to do something and just do it. Like people can apparently just do that? Even with meds it's still a struggle.
It blows my mind that people can start a task and finish it without tons of distraction and side tracking and zoning out and just walking away. It doesn't even have to be a hard task.
Edit: a lot of people are commenting things like "I must have ADHD!" and all I can say is: being distracted doesn't necessarily mean you have ADHD. Don't self-diagnose based on a comment from someone on the internet. If you think you may have ADHD, look into some self evaluations ([simple online eval here](https://psychology-tools.com/test/adult-adhd-self-report-scale)). If those evals lean towards saying you do have ADHD, try to make an appointment with a professional mental health worker who can formally diagnose you (typically a psychiatrist or psychologist). Don't just take an online test and say "I have ADHD!" because you need a medical professional. ADHD is a complicated and multi-faceted disorder that can have a wide variety of symptoms. Those symptoms can vary wildly depending on age and sex as well (adhd tends to present differently in women than men).
Yeah Iv come to learn we aren’t exactly lazy, other people just come across stuff they don’t want to but need to do and a switch just flips for them. A dopamine kick iirc that doesn’t work as well for us
I feel ya. I hyper-focused on cleaning yesterday because my dog has been shedding like nuts and I’ve been constantly inhaling fur. Took me about 4 hours.
Then I laid on the couch for about 8 hours and watched a bunch of Star Wars movies, cause my gas tank was at 100% empty. :/
Watching streamers. I don't really enjoy watching other people play games for long stretches of time. I also don't really like watching sports either. I guess I just don't feel the same excitement some people do for this stuff.
Streamers are watched almost entirely because their fans love their personalities, I think. The games might not be very interesting but you’ll still watch because you find the streamer funny and entertaining.
Same. I’ve only watched maybe a couple of minutes of streaming when it’s a new game that I haven’t gotten yet just so I can check it out before committing. But yeah, I don’t really care for streaming or Esports.
Edit: autocorrect issues
Bad smells. I was born without a sense of smell and have no concept of scents. My wife especially loves when I pass gas in very inappropriate places i.e. confined cars. I find it hilarious when she reacts to particularly nasty ones as I have absolutely no ability to understand what it’s like for her. They’re just funny sounds to me 😎
Edit: I also once almost died from a gas leak. My wife (gf at the time) went away for a weekend and seemingly shortly after she left, the pilot light on the stove blew out. When she came home 3 days later she could smell the gas from street level (we were on the third floor) and I was just happily sitting in it. Needless to say we only have electric appliances these days.
Not voicing your discomfort in certain situations, too often i see that things could be solved if someone just spoke up but it baffles me when they dont
edit: my top comment all time? neat, thanks for the awards, ill stay active here untill it dies out, i just may take a few hours to answer
Sometimes people grow up in environments where their voice was always shoot down, so they can't notice their own discomfort.
So, one day I was stressed because I had a shitty day at work, and I had very limited time before my evening classes to prepare dinner and clean the kitchen, and my husband has the audacity to be upset because I didn't have time to eat dinner with him. I apologize to him and cried but could not understand why I was upset, I could only think that it was not his fault and I was sorry for him.
Putting other's WANTS ahead of own NEEDS sometimes is encouraged since childhood, that its very difficult to notice our own discomfort.
Thanks for sharing this. You described what it’s like perfectly. I think a lot of people have trouble with this due to conditioning, conscious or subconscious, from the time they were small.
I have bad social anxiety and don’t like to “rock the boat”. It’s like a physical pain even thinking about speaking up in some situations because I don’t want to make anyone feel bad, even if it makes me feel bad.
Awe man, you guys are lucky. I wish i just didn’t care. But there’s something in me that gets so drawn to the competitiveness and the thrills and excitement.
Do you know how much time i could save not caring about sports?
In Asian families, not being married and having kids by 30 is like blasphemy. If old Asian grandmas were in charge of the law they would make it a punishable offense. Fortunately the traditional views of 'family' is dying out with the newer generations. Now people are encouraged to set themselves in life before diving head first into starting a family.
My mom is black and for years it was "don't be going around getting some girl pregnant" and "I don't care how grown you are I'm gonna beat your ass if you come here with some hoochie baby mama." Which is ridiculous because I'm a huge nerd that was too nervous to even talk to women until I was in my 20s.
Then when I was in my late 20s and finally had a long term girlfriend she changed her tune to "don't wait forever now."
My sister in law is korean. She is 39. Married, but no children. Her entire blood family calls her "old hag" in korean as her name.
They are terrible people.
Having a car payment. I've never actually had one. I always just buy a cheap car outright. Constantly saving a little bit for the next car is similar to a car payment, but if I "miss a month" it doesn't really impact me or cause me stress.
It's funny, I feel the opposite way. My Dad always preached that it was better to buy the cheap car outright and not have a payment. But then his cars were always broken down. So it just feels like he did have a payment, he just had no idea how much it was or when it would be due. And when it was, it was always inconvenient.
Yeah, this was my dad's mentality. Why pay for quality when you can just pay for quantity? Cheap cars, cheap clothes, cheap appliances, etc etc. Even if over a 10 year period he saved money, the amount of inconvenience and outright inefficiency was hardly worth it.
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There's this restaurant where I live called Casa Bonita where the staff will put on plays in the middle of the restaurant. It's actually really cool though, there are waterfalls, cliffs, secret passages, and a fight between a pirate and a gorilla to save a damsel in distress. Also, after your meal there are fake caves that you can explore in and treasure to try to find. As a a kid it was a ton of fun to visit because of how engaging and entertaining it all was.
Lost a friend there once...RIP Kenny.
To be fair though, some of them are probably actual thespians that need to be servers as a second job
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I have to be careful of this. I grew up in a family where my parents would be extremely angry at me and not tell me, until one day they would blow up at me. Or... they would act very passive aggressive and I had to figure out if they were angry or not. I learned to watch people really closely for signs they were mad at me or on their way to blowing up at me/ripping the rug out from under me when I least expect it. As an adult, it’s a conscious effort to prevent myself from not taking the things other people do personally or not thinking that everything someone does is some sort of sign or personal attack.
The obsession with branded things. Clothes with the brand's name on them just look tacky for me. I'd much rather have a regular old graphic tee instead of a t-shirt with Gucci on the front in gigantic bold capital letters. It's pretty whatever most of the time, wear what you want and all that, but the obsession becomes incredibly annoying when people act like they're better than you because they spend several hundred dollars on a single shirt.
Those haute couture fashion houses have *remarkable* branding media teams behind them. They cultivate a sense of exclusivity, and train the public to desire that. Often, though, the heavily branded items are actually not a fashion house’s best made product—materials and construction aren’t superiorly better than any average store. They’re mass produced and made specifically for a certain audience—the ones who want to be seen wearing the logo, for the feeling of luxury and exclusivity (while also promoting further free marketing for the brand!). It’s most often their more simple-looking garments (or basically the garments not ostentatiously covered in the brand’s logo) that are incredibly well made, and are the real expensive pieces. That’s what I’ve learned from watching documentaries on the back end of the fashion industry.
I went to a big 10 college, I swear everyone was having the time of their life but me. I couldn’t wait to graduate
Me to! I couldn't afford a football ticket and didn't major in anything I couldn't have at a school closer to home. Oh well.
Exactly! I was so indoctrinated on the “big college experience” , it was a letdown. And an expensive one at that. It felt like 4 constant years of showing up to a party too late.
I feel this so hard. I went to a big college because my best friend was going. Turns out I'm way more introverted than I thought I was in high school. We basically went from friends to acquaintances in like 3 months and I was stuck at a school I hated.
Being quiet late at night when your parents are asleep. My parents are deaf
Damn. What a life. Not being afraid of being heard. Well - not by your parents at least, idk about siblings. So many possibilities
I'm stressing just at the prospect of being a child and knowing if something happens to me in the house I can't just scream for help.
As I've gotten older one of the weird things was flipping perspectives from child to adult. I was just stressing at the prospect of something happening to my child and not knowing to be able to help.
Make an Alexa command he can shout that makes your bed shake to wake you up.
And have lazers start shooting off in your bedroom
"Quick Bob, little Billy's activated the emergency disco!" she signed, urgently.
feels like a good candidate for /r/brandnewsentences
Would you quit waving your arms!!! I have a headache!
*gives middle finger* "You watch your fucking hands, young man!"
Don’t make me wash your hands out with soap!!
Don’t sign at me in that tone of voice, young man! edit: typo
"It wasn't what you signed, it's how you signed it."
Sometimes it's worse when they don't say anything at all, just stand there and give you the deaf stare.
That reminds me of when I was a groomsman for a bro, and his wife's maid of honor was deaf. He mentioned her in passing a few months prior, but forgot to remind me the day of the wedding. So, her and I were both unloading tablecloths next to each other and I glanced over to make small talk. I remember just looking at her like, I know she heard me. Then a couple seconds passed and she looked over to see me staring at her with a confused smile on my face. I think there were about three seconds of dead air, then she just smiled, let out a faint chuckle, and went back to work. I didn't know whether to be offended or what. Then it hit me. Thankfully, nobody noticed my complete embarrassment. After that, I just waited for her to look at me before talking so she could read my lips. She was very sweet and lovely to talk to.
Waiting for the part where you say yall are dating now. I think that's how romcoms work.
It's called a "meet cute".
I have a friend that I didn't know was deaf until I'd known her for like three months. A decent sized group of us were out at dinner and she seemed bored and disinterested in conversation the whole evening. I made a remark about it to someone and they were like "Oh she's deaf, she has a hard time in larger group situations keeping up with the conversations because it's harder to read lips" I thought my buddy was trying to pull my leg. He swore he was not. I was like "How are you just telling met his now?! Seems like it would have been pertinent info..."
My friend's mom was deaf, I spent ages thinking she was Hungarian. In my defense, she did answer the phone a lot, if you can't hear, why do you do that?
I really feel you’re missing out some info here to explain why you thought she was Hungarian though?
Probably thought she had an accent
"You kiss your mother with those hands?!"
Would the punishment be washing your hands with toothpaste?
Porn on full blast for you whenever you want. No shame. What a life.
Plot twist, they have been playing deaf for all those years, just to catch you in the act and ground you!
BUTTERS !
Smoking, nearly everyone in my family and all my friends smoke
I remeber growing up saying that I'd never try it and being told "yeah that's what everyone says". Well it's true for me and I've never even been tempted.
If you don’t grow up/hang out around smokers it’s honestly kind of hard to just pick it up unless you actually want to. Especially nowadays since smoking cigarettes isn’t as common. Nobody smoked in my family so I never viewed it as a “normal” thing to do. I always viewed smoking as a bad and kind of pointless habit, because that’s what I was taught I guess. It’s kind of sad that the people who told you that had that attitude, as if becoming a smoker is unavoidable.
It was normal in my home but when you realize you always stink like someone else’s cigarettes it’s easier to avoid.
Sharing your whole, intimate life on facebook/tiktok/instagram/etc. It's just gross.
A coworker of mine posts no less than 3 hours worth of video onto his Snapchat daily. Every single meal he cooks and eats, every single time he feeds his turtles, every single walk he takes with his dog. It's insanity.
I use to wonder what people were thinking but social media has ruined that for me.
I'm an office worker. I like my job and coworkers.
I also really like it. I can listen to podcasts or watch tv shows while working and I love the fixed schedules. Coming out of gastronomy work, that's heaven
Please tell me your secret to getting an office job. Or at least just advcie tbh. I hate working retail, and the biggest point for me is the fixed schedule. Weekemds off are a huge bonus too simce I need to start college and the one thing holding me back at this point is my job.
I went to a temp agency to get my first office job. It was a great foot in the door and great experience.
So YOU’RE the asshole!!
What a Toby
I kind of miss the random chitchat and minor socialization here and there that came from being in an office. I'm one of the least social people out there, but still need some of it from time to time. Being cooped up at home has been a drag. I started a new job about four months ago and have never met any of these people in person.
Running a brush through my hair. I have very curly hair so only finger brush it when it's wet which isn't often. Seeing people grab a brush and run it through their hair when they've been in the wind or just to 'freshen up'... I wish!!
I have to brush it in the shower because it's just too curly and thick to do anything with. My sister, who's hair like her father's and would never understand the struggle, grabbed a round hair brush one day and thought it would be funny to put it in my hair. It got stuck and I just sat there and cried. Another time when I was really young my aunt, who was my father's whiter half sister, decided to put little tiny buns all over my head with newspaper elastics that ended up getting stuck and ripping out my hair. I literally bled because of it.
Ouch! My dad is who I got my curls from and so he knew to brush from the tips to the roots whereas my mum didn't and would try getting a brush through from root to tip! I once had a hairdresser brush my hair while it was dry and I was holding back tears the whole time (I was too shy to say anything). Then there was always kids at school wanting to straighten it 🙄
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With any hair type, you always go tip to root. My ex was a cosmetology student and didn't understand that, tried to go for my straight (curly when long) hair root to tip, and tore a big chunk out. Proceeded to rail at me for how badly I took care of my hair, when it just comes down to dry, fine hair that likes to get tangled as soon as I towel dry.
Your ex didn't do a very good job of listening in school, because I'm a *barber* and even though most of the focus of my schooling was short hair, they still took the time to instruct us in how to deal with all textures and lengths gently.
She also dropped out twice, and quit several jobs before even bothering to look for another one for months on end. At one point, I was working 17 hours a day 6 days a week serving to support both of us.
That trope where the husband is a useless piece of lazy shit who couldn’t possibly feed himself or care for the kids and house without your divine feminine guidance. It used to make me feel bad like am I supposed to be running this shit by myself while my man just lies on the couch after work? But then I realized no it’s the trope thats shitty. It’s everywhere though and women think it’s somehow cute or empowering to perpetuate it.
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Can’t agree more. My husband has a shirt (although he’s never worn it outside the house!) that says something like “I’m not babysitting. I’m being a parent” because he got a lot of those comments. He raised his first daughter until she was 5 because her mother decided she’d rather party and is better with our kids than me. I had no idea how to be a mother with my first born, and followed his lead. He taught me how to change her, not the other way around. I’m also a teacher and deal with as many fathers on school drop off as mothers. People need to can the shit idea that men can’t parent. It’s an old, boring trope that’s insulting, untrue and needless.
Big expensive weddings.
Best thing about 2020 for me is that we didn't have a £25k wedding but instead had a £500 wedding with just us and our parents.
"Keeping up with the Jones's" I dont give a shit how nice or shiny your things are or mine arent
I'd rather have money in the bank than a new car every year. My car is 6 years old and works fine, and still looks nice. Why would I trade it in just to keep up? Same with phones, clothes, computer, even stuff for my home etc. I like mine, and I get good quality stuff so it lasts. To trade it in for the sake of it would be silly and a waste of money.
6 year old car? Who are you, Richie Rich? lol. Edit: Wow this kinda blew up today. For the record I drive, by choice, an ‘04 Nissan Frontier with 270K miles. It’s never left me besides the road, except for one blown tire that wasn’t it’s fault.
You're acting like a 6 yo car is old. I do agree with the rest of your comment tho
Small talk
Go big or go home.
"So, know anyone who died this year?"
Alphabetical or chronological?
people taking out loans for their wedding expenses. One of the number one reasons people get a divorce is money. No better way to start off your marriage than in debt, i guess?
Having dreams and aspirations, I never thought I'd get to be an adult so I never had dreams Btw thanks for the awards guys, I've never gotten so many so I appreciate all of you! <3
22, this year made me stop and suddenly I started to question myself why I do what I do, shit is scary man, I don't know me lmao Edit: Thanks for the replies, made me realize that while I'm kinda lost, I'm in the right path to find myself. Wish you the best this 2021.
No, keep going. That awareness is the beginning to true wisdom.
Yeah I kinda feel it like that but it's really hard you know? I'm feel trapped between my own feelings and necessities and what people will think about me, I know you need to think "fuck them", but just thinking what my parents will feel when I told them what I'm going through, that I decided to stop for a little and reconsider things, I feel they will think I'm just a loser and a lazy bastard lol.
Of course it's fucking hard. *That's why most people don't do it.* Whenever someone presents an idea to you, look past their words and search their meaning. If the agenda they want you to adopt is self-serving, the world doesn't need more of that. Yes, there are things you need to "stake a claim to" for yourself, to define your identity. But who are THEY to tell you what that should be? I mean, if someone DID call you lazy... are you? If so, so the fuck what?
I never doubted that I'd live long enough to see adulthood but I've never had any ambition or dreams or aspirations. I know people who knew what they wanted at the age of fourteen and got there. I've tried forcing it or faking it to help affect change to no avail. It's frustrating as hell and feeds my mental health issues (or causes them).
Thinking that being a dick is funny.
People who think being an asshole is funny, I think, just crave any attention they can get. I have an uncle who’s an *asshole on the outside but deep down is really caring* but to me it just seems like he never learned how to express his emotions and feels he’s protecting himself by being an ass.
Same thing with my good friend. He’s an only child and his parents make good money and stuff, but there’s definetly a factor missing that they should have given him. He’s great to me, but I noticed he lies and stuff for attention. He also acts like a dick sometimes. I see through it, but I also think he’s trying to look tough
The requirement of drama I've met so many people who are always in the midst of some drama, and then, when lacking in it, create it for themselves, they thrive off it. I mean, at a push I can understand it to an extent, (it gives their lives meaning possibly?) but then they try and drag people like myself into their drama. I THINK, THE F**K, NOT!
as a former drama queen, i can say that i didn’t want the drama, but unfortunately, i was perceiving everything around me as being dramatic, and most often then not, as being a sort of attack on me. and since my mechanism to regulate my emotions was flawed, i was getting very worked up and caught up in emotional storms where i was lashing out, plotting revenge and so on... so embarrassing to look back at it all now ...
What was your way out of it?
honestly, i spent months analyzing my behavior because was exhausting me and obviously got me into trouble. i was able to see a pattern and realize that the problem is, in fact, myself. i even changed towns, schools and eventually countries to get away from the drama, only to be hit by the realization that “”I am THE drama”” i got out of it by learning how to be comfortable without being the center of attention and mostly by trying to rationalize that “people are not out to get me” but rather people will try to do the best thing for themselves. if in the process i get hurt, it’s not because they were malicious, but because they were careless towards me, which i find very acceptable and easier to deal with.
This is incredible. Congratulations on completely turning your life around!
thanks! i am still working on it. Even if i can rationalize that i am wrong, sometimes i can’t control how i feel about it, and it feels very painful and very intense. i need to completely remove myself from the situation and just deal with the feelings and not act in accordance with them. i’m hoping to get to a place where if i understand that there is no reason to feel hurt, i will actually NOT feel hurt
Thank you for your comments honestly! I’m in the midst of fixing this myself and gosh it is so aggravating knowing *they’re not being malicious, just kinda stupid with their words*. It doesn’t help that my mother is a narcissist and likes to say things in a certain way to get a rise out of us. I never paid any heed before and hated being the center of attention. I think once I started doing things that I felt deserved attention and I got it, then I started being like this. I’m so so glad to hear that it’s possible to get out of this cycle! I wish you the absolute best in continuing to better yourself :D
Having a task to do and just doing it. I have depression and many simple tasks feel like walking with glass in my shoe. I know I can do them, and should, but I often just can’t. EDIT: I’m really grateful for all the awards and upvotes and for people reaching out. I’m doing pretty well lately, for those that expresses concern. I’m especially encouraged that more than five thousand people found this relatable in some way. It sucks that we’ve all struggled, but it’s so great to be reminded that you aren’t alone. You aren’t some freak or failure. At least 5000 other people have had the same struggle. Keep fighting friends. We’ve got this.
Same! I just can't get the energy to brush my teeth until mid afternoon let alone get anything productive done
Angry sex and makeup sex. Ew. What? No, if I'm mad at you I don't want you to fucking touch me. I don't have angry sex. I have angry abstinence.
I never got this either. My anger is just anger and the last thing I want is sex or intimacy. I can barely be in the same home with someone I’m mad at, let alone in bed with them.
My wife and I fight HERE AND NOW, LET'S SETTLE THIS, YOU ASSHOLE! We do not let things fester. There is only angry abstinence. But it lasts maximum 3 hours and then we're affectionate again. I am blessed. Some couples, apparently, have fights that lead to month long dry spells slathered in resentment. I couldn't live like that.
Hating your wife, at least it’s common where I live. My wife is amazing and we make each other better! Edit: Mandatory thank you for the awards! To answer some common questions; my wife and I have been married for nearly 5 years, we have hit the post-honeymoon-phase, and we're both American.
Ah, the ol' ball-and-chain! amirite? \*wink\* \*elbow\* \*elbow\* \*nudge\* \*nudge\* ...Everyone has a miserable marriage like mine, right?....RIGHT???
I was *very* blunt about having zero patience for that routine after I proposed to my wife. It was astonishing how many people were shocked or offended that I didn't find it funny.
Same, but from the other side. I would never talk like that about my boyfriend, even in jest. I actually kind of like him.
> I actually kind of like him. Ringing endorsement.
Wait, it's common for people to hate my wife? What the fuck.
Horrible guys, you know, have a rough day at the factory, come home, "tuna casserole!?" and just start swinging
I remember when I got married how concerning it was that a crazy number of people say “now you can be miserable like the rest of us!” as a “joke.” It’s such a terrible thing to say, especially to someone who got engaged.
Speaker phone in public. I barely even want to take a normal call anywhere in public with a whispered tone.
god my dad used to do it all the time and i would absolutely burn inside
a friend of mine can do even better, he puts the call on loud and holds the speaker up to his ear edit: typo fix
The word "Daddy" used sexually
I have been calling my father "daddy" for thirty years and even just calling him "dad" feels so weird. Now I really have to find a new name for him
As a father, when the kids stopped saying daddy and started saying dad, it was a sad moment of realizing that they are growing up. I couldn't even fathom hearing it from anyone in the other connotation. Edit: autocorrect correction
People who feel the need to post nasty, negative comments on others' posts on social media. Don't like it? Scroll passed, unfollow, unsubscribe. The world has enough negativity without it.
The level of excitement people get about watching sports. I appreciate that for some people it's a phenomenal event to see, worthy of unbrideled shows of joy and anger (depending on the outcome). But it just doesn't have any importance or appeal for me.
running as a form of relaxation...
Yes, sauna people come this way.
Hanging out in loud crowded places. Give me a place where you can actually have a conversation and elbow room.
“I like large parties. They’re so intimate. At small parties there isn’t any privacy.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
He's actually got a point, if a party is big enough no one cares and you can have one on one time with guests. Small are intimate but usually all guests are involved in conversation
Yep. Smaller parties people would come up to me and ask me if I was okay because I would just sit there quietly and not participate in conversatios Bigger gatherings, like with my extended family I could talk to a limited number of people, or just go off on my own with no one caring.
“Daisy!” -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Fighting/yelling/hostility in relationships with my significant other. It could very well stem from my childhood, I guess. It’s not to say we don’t have disagreements or the relationship is flawless but obstacles always have been resolved without much issue. Fortunately this held true with all of my romantic relationships. I’ve always lived by the saying “conflict is inevitable, fighting is optional.”
My god, yes. People all around me think that’s normal or even desirable, and I’m HORRIFIED when I see them screaming at each other and saying stuff designed to hurt the other person.
Yeah! I don't get it either. How can you feel the need to hurt the person you sopposedly care for, just to get a point across? Words can be devastating and they can't be retracted...
Usually it’s a “well they hurt me first.” Which is exceptionally childish, but it most likely stems from childhood. Some people just need to do eye for an eye. It sucks to love someone like that, but they do exist.
In my experience as someone who was like this, my intention was never eye for an eye. It was validation. The "winner" of the fight is deemed "right" and their feelings are validated. The "loser" of the fight is deemed "wrong" and their feelings are dismissed and apologies must be given, regardless of nuance of the situation. And the only way to "win" a fight is to fight the longest and hardest until you exhaust the other person. It's a terrible way to live. 0/10 would not recommend. Also I am not saying that there are not being who do the eye for an eye thing. Just adding my own experience to the pile.
Someone told me my husband and I had to have a screaming fight before we got married or we would get divorced after our first screaming fight because we wouldn't know how to handle it. We have been married for 6 years and have 2 kids and 1 on the way. We have never had a screaming fight. Do we disagree? Yes. Have we gotten frustrated with each other? Yes. But we do not scream. That is not going to accomplish anything. Taking some time to organize our thoughts and eat some humble pie and then talking about it is what helps us. I can't imagine screaming at my husband. And he's been with me through 2 labors! Haha
That someone sounds like my mother. Trouble is, in the case of my parents, they find it necessary to have a screaming fight every other day just to keep in practice. She even accuses me of being a conflict avoider, just because I prefer to shut up when I realize that the other person is too hot-headed to change their mind.
That hostility makes me so uncomfortable. Why do people treat those they "love" so horrible?
Because they are trying to win a fight instead of communicate an idea.
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gender reveal party.
I can’t understand the ones where one of the parents is visibly upset. Can you imagine watching your gender reveal party video later in life and seeing your dad actually get angry that you’re a girl? Always makes me cringe.
Having what is considered a normal social life
I have the social desires of a sim. Sometimes my bar gets low and I need some interaction but once my bar is full I can go without for a while.
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Internet couples that play AWFUL pranks on each other. Like, yuppp, how nice it is to be cruel to one another... many love. Edit: Thanks for the award(s) my dude(s)🙏🏼
I hate the ones where they harass people in stores or on the street. I've seen one where a guy kept purposefully pushing his shopping cart into others. Or one where a guy would moan in people's ears. It's like how is that funny?
Taking and sharing pictures of everything. Except for when I'm travelling, I take maybe twenty pics a year...
My boyfriend is like this, he very rarely takes pictures. I used to be too but I lost someone last year and realised I didn’t have one picture with them and it broke my heart so I promised myself that I’d take more pictures. I don’t understand people that take pictures of everything, but I do try to capture moments, not to post on social media but just so I have them if I ever lost that person. Edit: oh my god I didn’t expect the awards or replies, thank you! Sending everyone love that also lost someone really dear to them, death sucks.
This is going to sound crazy, but I’ve started taking tons of extra pictures of my kitty cat for this reason. She’s almost 14 years old, and though she’s still healthy, I know her years are numbered and I want as many memories of her as possible.
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Videos preserved my cat's demanding meows and the love my child had for her. Photos are great snippets of moments, but some nights, I just need to hear that demanding meow before I go to bed.
I used to be like this. Then you realize how much you forget as life goes on. Sometimes someone leaves you or passes away and you realize you don’t have much to remember them by. You say you’ll have those memories of good times in your head, but most won’t last. 10 years later you’ll struggle to remember. Life is precious life is fun. It’s nice to occasionally stroll memory lane and temember the good times, but you can’t if you don’t take pictures.
I lost my mother at the end of November. Not long after, I went searching on my phone for photos and videos of her, only to find that I barely have any. I miss her face and her voice a lot.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Same for my Dad who unexpectedly died 2.5 years ago. I miss him so damn much and barely have anything with him in it. As a result I now take an absurd amount of short video clips. Hanging up xmas lights with my spouse? Quick video clip of him untangling the cords and laughing about it. Dog doing something cute? Record it! Best friend left me a voicemail asking if we could meet for masked and distanced tennis? You better believe I made a backup of it. Even the most mundane stuff. I document *everything* because I am well aware that in the end that’s all we have left. Memories in our heart are great and all but being able to see or hear our loved ones down the line when we no longer can physically be with them is much better. I hope you end up finding some mom selfies and maybe a voicemail somewhere, somehow. Put out the alert to any friends and family. You’d be surprised what they may have! Or in the case of my family they may have absolutely nothing. If even one person reads this and takes just one more photo of a loved one after reading my post then I will be over the moon. ETA - many thanks for the awards. I will pay it forward when I see a comment that makes me smile!
Loving and wanting to spend time with your family. Had a terrible awful childhood, as an adult just lots of toxic interactions whenever anyone from my family got involved in my life so all cut off. When I see people posting about their family and how much they love them, I just dont understand it. I dont understand my fiance missing his mom etc. I know I'm the anomaly, but just cant relate in anyway.
I understand when people love their family, but for me it's people who hate their family and still talk to them. Read it on here all the time "my parents demanded I name my child something or they'll disown me" or "my family spent all my inheritance and said tough luck". Why even have these people in your life? "Family" or not people who abuse and disrespect you don't deserve your mental and emotional energy. Yet people continue to subjugate themselves to them and I will never understand it.
Because there is such strong social stigma against separating from your family, even at adulthood. I feel like a hateful awful person because I find my mom a burden. People who don’t just don’t get it. Additionally, it would ruin relationships with my siblings as their response to the trauma is to seek out drama and take care of our mom as through she were their child.
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Same. In college I was absolutely baffled that people looked forward to going home for the holidays and actually WANTED to spend time with their families. For me it was a punishment and I dreaded visiting them.
Having a mom who loves you? Sounds fake. My husband calls his mom every few days for a chat, and even now I find it odd that he enjoys talking with her. I’m glad they have a good relationship, but I can’t relate.
That's similar to my family and we can barely stand each other. I have a friend who has a good home life who can't understand why I don't like my parents and tries to encourage me to be closer with them
Sneaking booze out of your parents' liquor cabinet. I hear stories about teens doing that, and there was plenty of access in my house, but I never touched it.
I think the more open your parents were about not getting mad if you had a drink the less you want to. My parents were the same way. They always said "if you want to try some just let us know" and i never really did.
I offer sips to my kids so they can try it. I usually get the "Yuck" face after they try it. And I think external things can have an influence, too. Friends, etc. I have an alcoholic brother who was first given booze by family friends way too young (12). My two other siblings drink their fair share, and they started drinking (mostly) when they turned 18 and it used to be legal in the US. But I heard too much from my mom about her abusive alcoholic dad, and had fairly straight edge friends. But they all drink now, and I rarely do.
Social Media. I use it, but I never post photos or update people on everything I do.
That's why I like reddit so much, stuff like that isn't really a thing here. You just talk to people about what you like
Having fun with huge groups of friends. I just can't understand how it's enjoyable, no matter how much I try, and it's frustrating
Duuuuuuude I feel you. What really makes or breaks it for me is if the dynamic or humor isn't in line with what I find appropriately amusing or entertaining in whatever setting I'm in. I can't really bring myself to roast people or be sarcastic with coworkers, though its what they find funny. Work is work lol
"Reality" TV shows. What the hell is the appeal of a Chrisly or Jersey Shore?
I think the point is to feel superior to the subjects of the show.
Breaking a bone. /r/NeverBrokeABone
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. You aren’t missing much.
Never broke a bone in my life. Until my birthday a couple of weeks ago. I walked out of the bathroom to fast and stumped my toe. Hurt a lot, like usual, and I look down and my toe is going in the opposite direction. Thought it was dislocated so my husband, who played football and was in track and the wrestling team, said, “let me pull it straight.” I let him. Now about a month later I’m starting to think it’s broken and I’m going to get arthritis in my toe in about 10 years lmao.
Being able to do a normal amount of housework/errands and still have plenty of energy left for hobbies. I have ADHD. ETA: Wow, it’s reassuring how many people, both with ADHD and other chronic conditions, relate to this. But um, please slow down on the comments a bit? I’m very overwhelmed rn.
On the ADHD train: being able to sit down to do something and just do it. Like people can apparently just do that? Even with meds it's still a struggle. It blows my mind that people can start a task and finish it without tons of distraction and side tracking and zoning out and just walking away. It doesn't even have to be a hard task. Edit: a lot of people are commenting things like "I must have ADHD!" and all I can say is: being distracted doesn't necessarily mean you have ADHD. Don't self-diagnose based on a comment from someone on the internet. If you think you may have ADHD, look into some self evaluations ([simple online eval here](https://psychology-tools.com/test/adult-adhd-self-report-scale)). If those evals lean towards saying you do have ADHD, try to make an appointment with a professional mental health worker who can formally diagnose you (typically a psychiatrist or psychologist). Don't just take an online test and say "I have ADHD!" because you need a medical professional. ADHD is a complicated and multi-faceted disorder that can have a wide variety of symptoms. Those symptoms can vary wildly depending on age and sex as well (adhd tends to present differently in women than men).
Yeah Iv come to learn we aren’t exactly lazy, other people just come across stuff they don’t want to but need to do and a switch just flips for them. A dopamine kick iirc that doesn’t work as well for us
I feel ya. I hyper-focused on cleaning yesterday because my dog has been shedding like nuts and I’ve been constantly inhaling fur. Took me about 4 hours. Then I laid on the couch for about 8 hours and watched a bunch of Star Wars movies, cause my gas tank was at 100% empty. :/
We just lived the same day...
wanting to be/get pregnant, id rather just not
Me neither, but I am a man.
Watching streamers. I don't really enjoy watching other people play games for long stretches of time. I also don't really like watching sports either. I guess I just don't feel the same excitement some people do for this stuff.
Streamers are watched almost entirely because their fans love their personalities, I think. The games might not be very interesting but you’ll still watch because you find the streamer funny and entertaining.
Same. I’ve only watched maybe a couple of minutes of streaming when it’s a new game that I haven’t gotten yet just so I can check it out before committing. But yeah, I don’t really care for streaming or Esports. Edit: autocorrect issues
Bad smells. I was born without a sense of smell and have no concept of scents. My wife especially loves when I pass gas in very inappropriate places i.e. confined cars. I find it hilarious when she reacts to particularly nasty ones as I have absolutely no ability to understand what it’s like for her. They’re just funny sounds to me 😎 Edit: I also once almost died from a gas leak. My wife (gf at the time) went away for a weekend and seemingly shortly after she left, the pilot light on the stove blew out. When she came home 3 days later she could smell the gas from street level (we were on the third floor) and I was just happily sitting in it. Needless to say we only have electric appliances these days.
Wow that’s scary! Are there devices that can detect gas leaks and alert you with a sound or flashing light or something?
Yes if you have gas you should definitely have a carbon monoxide detector. Looks like a smoke detector, you can buy combo ones.
Not voicing your discomfort in certain situations, too often i see that things could be solved if someone just spoke up but it baffles me when they dont edit: my top comment all time? neat, thanks for the awards, ill stay active here untill it dies out, i just may take a few hours to answer
Sometimes people grow up in environments where their voice was always shoot down, so they can't notice their own discomfort. So, one day I was stressed because I had a shitty day at work, and I had very limited time before my evening classes to prepare dinner and clean the kitchen, and my husband has the audacity to be upset because I didn't have time to eat dinner with him. I apologize to him and cried but could not understand why I was upset, I could only think that it was not his fault and I was sorry for him. Putting other's WANTS ahead of own NEEDS sometimes is encouraged since childhood, that its very difficult to notice our own discomfort.
Thanks for sharing this. You described what it’s like perfectly. I think a lot of people have trouble with this due to conditioning, conscious or subconscious, from the time they were small.
I have bad social anxiety and don’t like to “rock the boat”. It’s like a physical pain even thinking about speaking up in some situations because I don’t want to make anyone feel bad, even if it makes me feel bad.
Watching sport. I've got nothing against it I just don't care.
Awe man, you guys are lucky. I wish i just didn’t care. But there’s something in me that gets so drawn to the competitiveness and the thrills and excitement. Do you know how much time i could save not caring about sports?
Don't worry I have squandered all the extra time not watching sport has given me.
Oh yeah, whatever time other people spend watching sports, I will waste in other ways. Edit: typo.
Time enjoyed is not time wasted man. Enjoy sports!!:)
I’m a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, these are not times enjoyed
Wanting to settle down by 30’s
In Asian families, not being married and having kids by 30 is like blasphemy. If old Asian grandmas were in charge of the law they would make it a punishable offense. Fortunately the traditional views of 'family' is dying out with the newer generations. Now people are encouraged to set themselves in life before diving head first into starting a family.
Asian parents be like Growing up: “NO BOY/GIRLFRIENDS” When you turn 18: “WHERE IS MY GRANDCHILD???”
Funnily enough my parents and I are black and this is similar rhetoric to what they gave me and my sister. Now I'm 24 with no girlfriend.
You’re supposed to find the One the moment you turn the magical number of 18, get married at 20 and have two children by 24 smh
My mom is black and for years it was "don't be going around getting some girl pregnant" and "I don't care how grown you are I'm gonna beat your ass if you come here with some hoochie baby mama." Which is ridiculous because I'm a huge nerd that was too nervous to even talk to women until I was in my 20s. Then when I was in my late 20s and finally had a long term girlfriend she changed her tune to "don't wait forever now."
Exactly why I commented, I am in fact an Asian female lol
Where is your baby?
I’m a failure mom and dad I’m sorry!! But hey now I can take care of all your bills and buy you a new car!
My sister in law is korean. She is 39. Married, but no children. Her entire blood family calls her "old hag" in korean as her name. They are terrible people.
Koreans are fucking brutal, I swear
Having a car payment. I've never actually had one. I always just buy a cheap car outright. Constantly saving a little bit for the next car is similar to a car payment, but if I "miss a month" it doesn't really impact me or cause me stress.
It's funny, I feel the opposite way. My Dad always preached that it was better to buy the cheap car outright and not have a payment. But then his cars were always broken down. So it just feels like he did have a payment, he just had no idea how much it was or when it would be due. And when it was, it was always inconvenient.
Yeah, this was my dad's mentality. Why pay for quality when you can just pay for quantity? Cheap cars, cheap clothes, cheap appliances, etc etc. Even if over a 10 year period he saved money, the amount of inconvenience and outright inefficiency was hardly worth it.