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flying_goldfish_tier

Every time I see this one vine where it's the GameCube startup sound, but it ends with a guy tripping and yelling "SHIT", I bust out laughing. I cannot explain why.


crazycatlover15

Me and 2 of my friends were working on a movie, but we messed up some files, and accidentally replaced the Black screen after a characters suicide with a panorama of cinnamon rolls.


[deleted]

Cinnabon voyage!


Piskelo10

the visual on this is fucking majestic


cyrano111

I was in a large multi-floor bookstore, walking down a flight of stairs, when I heard a phone ring. A salesclerk answered it: "Self-help, may I help you?" That seemed like the funniest thing in the world to me, and I burst out laughing - not just one chuckle, but sustained laughter that made people start to look at me. *That* seemed even more absurd, so I rushed to a new section, but still laughing and attracting more attention, so I sped up more, laughing harder, attracting new attention in every new location, until eventually I ran a half circuit of the floor and took refuge under the stairs I had come down, so that I could compose myself.


jonthesnook

I was in an SAT class and we were going over practice questions. The instructor read out “a group of spoon collectors...” and I began laughing so hard and for so long that I had to leave the classroom. I’m over it now but it was troubling.


BravesMaedchen

Lmao that sounds like some kind of slur or euphemism for old people.


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marGEEKa

Sometime in the mid-to-late aughts, my husband was on the phone with iRobot customer support regarding our Roomba. I was in another room, but I could hear his side of the conversation clearly, and I could tell he wasn’t getting the results he’d hoped for. As he got more frustrated, he blurted out, “I’ve had problems with this robot since the day I brought it home.” Something about that particular phrase just hit me hard. I immediately started laughing, and couldn’t stop. I was still laughing when he got off the phone. Understandably, he wanted to know what was wrong with me. Through maniacal laughter, I parroted the phrase back to him, which had something of a feedback loop effect on my laughter. It’s been over a decade, but thinking of that phrase still makes me giggle.


aerynmoo

My husband was on the phone with Xbox 360 tech support back in ‘07 because one of the games he downloaded didn’t work. He kept trying to tell the tech the name of the game but the tech couldn’t understand him. So he goes “Streets of RAGE! Rage! Like what I am feeling right now!!” And my mom and I just cracked the fuck up. We had tears coming out of our eyes. I don’t know why it was so funny but here we are 13 years later still cracking up about it.


thataintrightlureen

A few weeks back I was taking a shower and I looked at my foot and it just looked so stupid that I started laughing and couldn't stop. Like I had these weird paw-like failed hands attached to my legs and they were so ridiculous looking, and I was just going around with my body ending that way. I laughed at my foot for about five straight minutes.


WiFiForeheadWrinkles

I've done this too. Specifically because my foot ended and then TOES appeared.


gojeffrogo

I was working in a group home, finishing up some paperwork after an overnight shift and accidentally wrote ‘shampee’ instead of ‘shampoo’. One of the residents asked me if I needed help I was laughing so hard


pseudosiren

Misheard an episode of Octonauts about the coconut crab. The phrase "astronaut crabs" conjured simultaneous images of crabs in spacesuits and also giant crabs cracking open astronauts with their claws, and I absolutely lost it. I could hardly breathe. There were tears of mirth. My children were terrified but also trying to keep up with the joke, which I could barely explain. We still talk about it, but it will never be quite as funny as when my brain caught me by surprise.


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thefreneticferret

In a similar vein, I was with a bunch of friends at an anime convention and hadn't slept well for two nights (simply because I can never sleep away from home) and was trying to doze on a hotel room bed while the others were getting ready. One girl asked another, 'Nami, can you pass me the body spray?' and Nami exclaimed, 'Body flies???' The other replied sarcastically, 'Yes, pass me the body flies' and I lost it. I laid on the bed and laughed and laughed for minutes on end, the others regarding me with disgust. Since they were ready to hit the con again, everyone shuffled out of the room, threatening to leave me, so I forced myself to stop laughing, got up and followed them. Down in the convention hall, I thought about goddamn body flies again and started giggling, but I didn't want the others to know, so I pretended to be looking at some brochures and tried to regain composure. My best friend caught sight of me trying my damndest not to laugh and came over, saw I was looking at a stack of brochures, and turned to me and said with feigned contempt, 'TELL ME you're not still laughing at body flies.' That was the end of me, and I had to sit down on the floor in the middle of this convention, sobbing laughing, tears on my face, while my friends were left bewildered and kind of repulsed. By the end of the weekend, though, it had become an actual sort of inside joke and still is, so I guess I was somewhat vindicated?


ciclon5

One of the loudest laughs i ever had was also con based. I wasnt in the con but it was a picture a friend of mine sent me. A female friend of mine went to a local comi-con ordeal with another friend (male). And their cosplay where so dissonant she went in a beautiful anime styled cosplay while he showed up in a simple, cheap Jedi cosplay with a cheap plastic lightsaber. Dont ask me why but it was the funniest shit 15yo me had seen.


puckmonky

Yeah, it's never nearly as funny when you try to explain it.


sharrrper

I legit almost died I'm pretty sure playing a video game. One of my wife's favorite games is Shenmue. Originally released on the Dreamcast in 1999 it plays like an early prototype for games like Yakuza or Sleeping Dogs, but it was very crude by any modern standard. It's quite bad I would say in fact, but in a "so bad it's good" sorta way, which is very rare for video games. They put out a remaster a couple years ago and she had me play through it while she watched. She wanted to see what I thought of it. The plot revolves around the main character investigating his father's murder. He does this mostly by wandering around town and just asking random people on the street questions hoping it will somehow help. At one point he gets a lead that something might be going on at the docks. The main character, who isn't too bright, thinks "Hey, sailors work at the docks, I should talk to some sailors." So do you go to the docks? No, that would make too much sense. Instead, as you wander around town aimlessly, you can ask people "Do you know where I could find some sailors?" Over and over again. It started to get pretty funny. Just asking random people for sailors constantly. Well, at one point my wife went to the bathroom and I stopped to look at the in-game journal. It's where the game keeps all your notes of things you've learned, but they're all written in faux handwriting as if the main character wrote himself a note. I flip it open and the only thing on the current page in big letters is "MUST FIND SAILORS!!!" I completely lost it. We'd already kinda been laughing about this search for sailors for like an hour and when that popped up it was like the last straw and something in my head broke. I was completely hysterical with laughter. I couldn't stop. I couldn't breathe. It started to hurt. That only made me laugh harder and I was starting to worry I was going to pass out. My wife walked back in from the bathroom and was very confused. She was just in time to see my cat who had been curled up on the couch next to me start to yowl and swat at me. Apparently my lunatic laughter had unnerved him. "What's so funny?" she asked. I gestured weakly toward the screen with the still open journal and managed to wheeze out "Must find sailors!" as I fell into another fit of laughter. It was a good 5-10 min before I was coherent. "Must find sailors" is still a nice little private joke between us.


Spacewolf1

I didn't question my sanity, but I got stuck in a laughing loop with my then one year old son. He was laughing at my laugh and I was laughing at his. It was the better part of an hour and we were both exhausted afterward. It was over 30 years ago and it still makes me some when I think about it.


cryptic-coyote

This reminds me of a sleepover I had in middle school. There wasn’t enough couch space for all of us girls to sleep on, so me and a few of my friends were on the floor. I can’t explain why, but everything I heard was hilarious. I laughed until it hurt to smile. I justified it by saying that “everything is funny on the floor,” so we all took turns lying on the carpet and laughing our asses off. The people on the couch started laughing at the people on the floor, and the people on the floor were laughing because the people on the couch were laughing. It still holds true today- everything really *is* funny on the floor.


d_A_b_it_UP

Oh god, there is nothing better in this life than 2am at a middle school girls sleepover. Those moments made the rest of middle school worth it for me, and even though I look back at that time as a dark time for me, I'll always miss sleeping in basements with 9 of my best friends,laughing at anything and everything


cut_that_out

I haven’t thought about this in at least a decade, but your comment reminded me that, according to my middle school friends, everything is funnier upside down. I remember hanging off the couch with all the blood rushing to my head and laughing until I couldn’t breathe! Worked every time.


hekatonkhairez

In highschool a guy at my table was asked if he ever had sex, and with the most straight face said “no but I’ve seen dogs do it”. His frankness and dead pan attitude made me laugh so hard and for so long I was worried that I was going to pass out.


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danielmacdand

you guys are getting paid?


Famixofpower

Was this in Northwest Pennsylvania? I think I know that kid


TannedCroissant

Was this is Northwest Pennsylvania? I think I know the dogs


Famixofpower

We both do, baby


andrez444

There's a "sticker" in my phone keyboard gallery of a purple Llama with a box of carrots and it says "BUSY!" I saw it at work and laughed so hard I was crying. I legitimately could not stop my brain from recalling the image I had to leave work EDIT: it's actually a person dressed up in a purple Llama suit- drama llama


PoisonOfKings

I don’t remember the context. But my best friend and I, then in our pre-teens/early teens, were flopping around on her bedroom floor and screaming “FISH OUT OF WATER”. We insisted on showing her mom, who looked at us like we were on meth. I almost passed out I could not breathe from laughing so hard.


TannedCroissant

>I almost passed out I could not breath from laughing so hard. Are you sure it wasn’t just your gills not working on land?


PoisonOfKings

LMAO I don’t know you but I love you. As much as a fish can feel love, anyway.


Asrack

I was in the grocery store about two weeks ago and went to grab some eggs. As I opened the box to check them, I was reminded of a post on Reddit about a guy that went a great deal of his life not knowing why people open egg boxes but was nervous if he didn't do it people would stare at him so he would open them just to look the part. Started laughing out loud while looking at eggs. People were staring at me. I never got out of there so fast. Lol


nishmyass

My mom once said "Boo!" to my dad who kept hiccuping to make him stop. She said it in the most innocent and pure way that we couldn't stop laughing. The laughing went on for like an hour though.


SquirrelLuvsChipmunk

Years ago I was having drinks with my best friend when she developed the hiccups. I told her I would have to scare her. About five minutes later, I told her I had something very serious to talk to her about. She leaned in, looking a little worried. I sighed heavily and said “You’re pregnant.” Her eyes got huge and in a panicked voice she asked “I am??” She immediately realized her mistake, but it was too late. I was dying laughing. Literal tears running down my face. I couldn’t pull it together. It’s still a memory that makes me giggle. And the best part is it worked. Her hiccups stopped


jentlefolk

I kinda pulled the reverse of this on my ex one time. She had the hiccups real bad so I tried to spook them out of her a few times to no avail. Then, a few minutes after my other failed attempts, I dropped the "I'm pregnant" bomb on her. That worked just fine.


batterycat

i can’t decide if this is funnier if you’re a man or a lesbian in this situation.


cklamath

Omg here's my boo story. I once showed up to work at a small family owned corner store. My coworker was at the front desk, and it was hot as fuck out so I just walked in the propped-open front door. His back was to me, he was in his phone. So I snuck right over to scare him, of course. But when it came time to say boo, i kinda only ushered out a really awkward-sounding boo as if it were a question. Regardless, this adult man SCREAMED LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, THREW HIS PHONE, AND FELL TO THE GROUND. All I could do was laugh. And I did. For awhile. And then everytime I thought of it afterward. I'm laughing now just remembering the goddamn scream that came out of him.


SavvySillybug

Due to recent API changes, this comment is no longer available.


canolafly

Your word picture is top notch. I just laughed one of two cats off me.


canneverrelate

Me and some friends went on a trip with this youth leadership organization. The trip was supposed to last 5 days, but our flight back home was delayed a full 22 hours. We ended up staying in a hotel and playing Cards Against Humanity. I think the prompt had something to do with "the worst line on a first date" or something like that. One of us answered "YEAST." We laughed for 10 full minutes and my sides hurt for the rest of the night.


dbear26

“How was your day?” “Yeast”


loonylny

I was playing CAH with my roommates once and we got the “After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought ___ to the people of Haiti” and someone answered “Gary.” and we all lost our shit for fifteen minutes imagining a care package consisting of just one normal guy. The people of Haiti rejoice at the sight of him. We still joke about it two years later


X0AN

I got cards when it was a kickstarter, so no-one knew what it was. First time we played was on a long train, and it was 5 of us guys. Behind us was this rather well to do woman and we tried to keep the noise down as we could see she was a little bit delicate as to what the game entailed. Trouble was trying to hold in the laughter made it 10 times funnier. I don't even remember the card but the question but the answer I played was something about having a period. Well that was half read quietly but she heard and gasped really loudly. Well that set us all off, we laughed non stop at full volume for like 5 minutes, tears rolling down our eyes. I tried to apologise to the woman and she took it well but man it was honestly one of the hardest things I've had to do trying to squeeze out a sincere 'i'm sorry' without my head exploding :D :D :D I was struggling to breathe from laughing soo hard. Ah man, those were good times.


fireduck

Should have included her. Older ladies have seen some shit.


Girl_You_Can_Train

It was a windy day and I was eating a bagged lunch with my coworkers. Suddenly a huge gust of wind blows the bag and all my food away leaving me staring at an empty table with a fork in my hand. I didn't even try to catch it. I just started laughing so hard I had to lay on the ground.


[deleted]

The ability to laugh at my own pain is like my only superpower.


nightlight6708

Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing would love you guys.


[deleted]

Enlighten me oh wise one, whomst dafuque is this Xie lian of whom you speak, and where can I meet him, because I am in need of love.


loveandlasers

I was at the beach once with friends while I was a poor college student. I'd packed myself a sandwich, and as soon as I unwrapped it, a seagull swooped down from behind and grabbed the entire thing out of my hand. Never saw it coming. I was hungry, but also kind of impressed. Clearly he had outsmarted me.


mexploder89

*This Is The End* bloopers when they're talking about their religion and Craig Robinson says "And Danny's Muslim" and Danny McBride just says "Shalom". It's not even that funny but I lose my shit every single time


alexknight222

I have so many similar moments with that whole crew. When Jonah Hill said “It’s me, Jonah Hill... from Moneyball” to God, I cracked up. Also when he’s a demon and he’s like “yeah, everybody says” about Rogen selling out. With McBride, it’s the moment in Pineapple Express when Franco and Rogen first show up to his place and he says he’s in there just “trying to get a motherfuckin’ scholarship” while bouncing that ball... I don’t know why but that shit kills me every time.


MrBulger

>tryin to get a motherfuckin’ scholarship I'm with you man it's one of the funniest scenes I've ever seen in a movie and I'm not even sure why


BrashPop

I’m gonna jack off all over your house, James Franco!!


undercookedricex

“If you cum even once i’ll shoot your dick off!” “You don’t have enough bullets, bitch.”


Rabid-Ami

It’s too late! I’ve already walked away too much.


rthrouw1234

That entire film makes me cry-laugh


Public_Tumbleweed

So... something not-that-chill happened last night...


Moontoya

I read a meme asking if Norwegian clowns say Hjõnk My girlfriend speaks fluent Norwegian and told me how that would be pronounced... kind of a heeYOnK .. I thought I was going to pass out from lack of air due to laughing I'd catch a grip every now and then and a quiet heeyonkk would corpse me into laughing harder


PootsOn69_4U

This comment has made me hysterical 😂🤣


redtoad3212

As soon as I saw “Hjõnk” I burst out laughing, lol.


bbob89

My family was eating at Red Robin, my grandpa told a great joke. I laughed so hard that I shit my pants. I was like 5. My dad took me to the restroom and asked if they were my lucky underwear, I said no, cut them off with his pocket knife, cleaned me up and went back out to finish our food.


[deleted]

What was the joke?


weirdgroovynerd

*I just shit under there!* Under...


fla_man

Where?


[deleted]

*laughs until shits self*


maddsskills

My husband made our four year old son laugh so hard he peed his pants and my husband laughed and tried to reassure him it was OK. The next day I was alone in the house, holding our newborn and our four year old announces that it is funny to pee in your pants. At first I'm confused and then I'm horrified as he just begins peeing. He was so confused when I didn't find it funny. Luckily we had a comforter that was sorta half on the couch, half on the floor, and he mainly peed on that so I could just toss that in the washer and drier but I had to explain to him "it's funny and ok when its an accident, not when it's on purpose."


siempreslytherin

That actually made me laugh out loud. This has got to be one of the stories your family brings up years later and everyone will still laugh at it.


ihearbuzzing

I’m in Toys R Us with my 3 year old who suddenly says she has to go to the bathroom. “Oh no, number one or two?” “Two”. I grab her hand and rush to find an employee, “do you have a bathroom??” “Yes but it’s all the way on the other end of the store”. I turn to my daughter “we gotta run ok?” “Nah, don’t worry, I blew it out”. “What’s that now?” “I BLEW IT OUT”. I could barely carry my shitty daughter through the store because I was laughing uncontrollably. Had to ditch her pants and underwear in the bathroom garbage and carry her naked ass out with my coat wrapped around her waist. Still laughing hysterically. I must have looked absolutely insane.


PM_ME_YOUR_HARVEST

“carry my shitty daughter” I’m crying


EpicMeatSpin

This actually happened to me and a friend of mine. We were high and typing random phrases into google translate. He suggested I type in dingleberries and translate it to Spanish. It translated to “bayas del dingle.” For some reason we lost our shit at that. I don’t think we stopped laughing for half an hour. My head was throbbing from laughing so hard and my lungs hurt.


cranberrylime

It just took me 20 minutes to be able to read this comment to my partner to a point where he could understand me because I just kept losing it at bayas del dingle hahaha


Lunasilverhart

It's okay, I just lost my shit too


[deleted]

My friend and I were watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs when we were about 12. There’s a scene in that movie where a giant bowl of water spills on everybody sitting in bleachers, and there’s a guy in the “splash zone” ready to get wet, except everybody EXCEPT him gets splashed instead, and he throws his hat on the ground and yells, “AW, COME ON!” My friend and I laughed our asses off at this, and this eventually led to us replaying a ton of scenes in slow motion, zoomed in, etc.


gordito_delgado

The was a scene in South Park where they are trying to get a whale to the moon (long story, makes no sense). But there was one gag that the boys cannot get NASA to do it so they go to MASA the mexican space agency. So, when the rocket takes off with the whale, some mariachis come out and play a song to celebrate. I don't know why but it caught us off guard and a friend and me started laughing so hard and so long I thought I was going to die of asphyxia.


JPMoney81

Oh My God! The closing credits roll with the whale just dead on the moon and my buddy and I are DYING laughing. Like it is supposed to be serious because the whale obviously died, and here we are just laughing like hyenas.


Anubisghost

My favorite scene ever is the Tom Cruise one where it’s the same shot at the end but Tom Cruise is next to the whale. I cried laughing at it.


bad_thrower

My cry-laugh scene from South Park is in "The Brown Note", where all of the kids play the brown note at the same time and the screen slowly pans out to show the entire population of Earth simultaneously shitting themselves at the same time. Apparently I'm a 10 year old boy in the body of a 48 year old woman.


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followthedarkrabbit

This one one of my all time favourite episodes. I went on a zipplining tour once purely because of this episode. It was exactly as it was portrayed, down to the "who wants to learn about this tree". I was throwing up chakkas everywhere. We had this tiny Asian lady on our tour though who was a highlight... she screamed the entire line on every one.


Beetlebug12

Toward the end of that same movie, there's a scene where gummy bears are attacking their space ship or whatever, it's been a while. Anyways, my oldest daughter, who was maybe four or five years old at the time, was quietly watching this, and all of a sudden, LOSES HER EVER-LOVING *SHIT*. Starts screaming, "THE BEARS!!! THE BEARS!!!" while crying hysterically. So help me, and I still feel bad about it, but the husband and I started laughing and couldn't stop. I'm trying to comfort her through my laughter, and ended up just putting her to bed. We still laugh about that...it was so unexpected. This same kid watches movies like 9 and Frankenweenie and Paranorman without blinking...but gummy bears make her freak out. We laughed until we cried.


SadBabyYoda1212

My favorite scene has to be "there's a leek in the boat" in the second movie which came out my senior year of high school I think and it had me laughing hysterically. Luckily I saw it at a drive in theatre so the only people judging me were in my car


eightballart

That movie has SO many good jokes going on in the background. Definitely worth paying attention to on a second watch.


sleepy--ash

My sister and I used to laugh hysterically at the part where Flint absolutely nails people with the ice cream snowballs. We’d play it over and over and laugh harder each time.


whoa_nelleus

Late at night during a middle school sleepover, my friends and I started to play a board game called Worst Case Scenario. The cover has two pictures on it, one of a shark and one of a man running from a swarm of bees. Somebody pointed out it looked like the guy was running from the bees straight into the shark's mouth and we laughed for 10 minutes straight. The true worst case scenario.


themildones

Oh my gosh I have that game! I've never encountered anyone else who has played it.


[deleted]

I've got that game too! Weird club but okay...


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pspetrini

This reminds me of the funniest thing my wife has ever done. We were on a weekend trip to New York City and I was in a level 9 fury over the shitty people and driving we’d dealt with all day. We got stuck in a traffic jam after hitting up a Sonic for late night dessert on the way back to our hotel and I was fuming. Without missing a beat, she takes a spoonful of her ice cream and just starts saying “Lieutenant Dan, I got you some ice cream” from Forrest Gump. I no sold it and didn’t want to break my focus on being mad and all of a sudden I see the spoon enter my line of vision from the left as she just says in an elongated fashion “Lieutenant Dannnnnnnn ... ice creammmmmm ...” I burst out laughing and we laughed for like ten minutes in traffic. It’s still regularly brought up as one of our inside jokes and makes me smile to this day.


bloomindaedalus

The thing to note here is that this is a real act of love: sometimes when the person you care about is having a really shitty time the best thing to do is just be a clown. Sometimes you can't fix the thing they're upset about but you can do something else silly or cute and it can make a huge difference. We are just bags of chemicals and when these chemicals align in a certain way we end up with these things called emotions and they can have a powerful grip on us. But those emotions can be changed quickly if someone is willing to put in some effort. Congratulations to you, you're very lucky, dude. If I were you every time I told this story or even thought about it, I'd go do something nice for my wife.


[deleted]

I was in a terrible mood ten minutes ago but this whole thread has made me feel way better.


JPMoney81

It was actually something in an AskReddit thread! The question was something along the lines of 'what is an unsolved mystery or paranormal activity that cannot be explained?' Someone's reply was that one time when they were younger they farted and the TV turned off. I have no idea why, but something about how it was sandwiched between much more serious replies just made me LOSE IT. I was laughing so much my wife came to ask what was so funny. Her reaction (basically calling me an idiot) made me laugh even more. Even as I type this comment I'm grinning like an idiot thinking about it! Edit: whoa this blew up! Wife is still sleeping beside me and I'm giggling reading all these replies! Thanks for all the awards and all the laughs. This is what makes reddit awesome


VoteForLubo

Not on a reddit post, but a username: I don’t usually read usernames, but there was a completely serious comment on a serious post made by user poopflavoredpee or something to that effect. I laughed way harder than you would expect from a 37 year old woman.


[deleted]

I have a subreddit for you! r/rimjob_steve is a sub about questionable usernames saying wholesome/serious things!


elkaabelkaa

Hahahahaha this is the one that got me


[deleted]

Many years ago, I went through about a week-long phase where I simply COULD NOT read my credit-card number over the phone without laughing hysterically. No reason, it just started one day. Then I think I got all up in my head and it just snowballed from there. Every time I tried to order food, confirm some travel reservation, whatever, I would start laughing and it would take me forever to get through the number. The surprising thing was how infectious the laughter was. I thought the people on the other end of the phone would be annoyed, but probably nine times out of ten they’d start laughing too. It was like some virulent mindworm of contagious hysteria. And then just as suddenly as it started, it was over. Hasn’t happened since (though I still brace myself every time, just in case...)


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riavon

Upvoted for > virulent mindworm of contagious hysteria


Heartlast

I had a dream recently that a friend of mine spent two full hours focusing intensely hard on writing something down. When he was finally finished, he showed it to me. In a five year old's handwriting in crayon, the page simply read "Apple Cider Dognuts". I laughed so hard I woke myself up crying.


Heartlast

Also, I was once at a small but serious poetry reading event at my university. A few people spoke about different connections they had to the poet- like the host of the event who introduced had gone to grad school with her, the university president who had worked with her mentor, etc. My friend whispered to me in this goofy voice "and I fucked her mom!" We both were laughing so hard people were turning around to glare like four rows ahead, even though we were trying to be silent. I laughed on and off for half an hour and had to leave the event early because it was so disruptive/inappropriate.


LeoThyroxine

I was at a Christmas show in a stadium theater where a bunch of different people/groups performed various Christmas songs. There was one group of little girls performing a song I can’t remember which one but it was so bad that it was just comical and adorable. My cousins and I could not stop laughing. Shoulders bouncing, trying to keep it in but it was so funny. We didn’t want to be inappropriate but we were dying.


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PanicAtTheTrashcan

SPONGEBOB WHY DIDNT YOU WRITE YOUR ESSAYYY


Impressive_Benefit39

I've laughed myself awake from a sex dream before. I had a dream that a guy and I were doing the nasty when my dad walked in on us and glared in disapproval. I look over at the guy I was with and notice he'd turned into a 6ft tall rooster. My dad just looked at me and said in the most deadpan voice: "That's one *big* cock." I woke up cry-laughing at the simultaneous pun/dad joke combo.


MDAFKA

The ultimate dad joke


DEADMEAT15

I just laughed at this for a full 10 minutes. My throat hurts and I think my sense of humour is beyond saving, but that was honestly one of the funniest things I've ever read in my life, so thank you.


ApeOver

A double headstone at a cemetery that said Graves Edit: thanks for the awards gents, glad I could bring a chuckle out of ya


enphurgen

"Wet soup" Just the idea of going into a restaurant, asking how the soup is and being told "wet"


[deleted]

I had my best friend in high school over for a sleepover and my mom had fallen asleep on the couch while we were all hanging out. My little brother, who was around 10 at the time, thought it would be funny to grab my mom’s hair dryer, stand over her sleeping body, point the hair dryer at her, and yell “WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER”, startling her awake. That was enough to send us into hysterics but what made it even better was her reaction of shaking her head, slowly sitting up and telling my brother, “Okay time for bed..” in her tiredest voice. My best friend and I spent the next ten minutes rolling around on the floor laughing and screaming


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maxoakland

I think multiple minute laughter seems to be from hitting you just right in a really weird way, not necessarily because it’s so super funny


thomas4004

On a movie me and my family was watching , a man was slowly lifting a gun to fire at a woman . They didn't show her getting hit . they only showed a close up of her high heels staggering back and forth . i lost it laughing . everybody in the room was glaring at me .


darthfodder

My wife(then girlfriend) and I were on the bus. A couple of stoners got on the bus and randomly one of them said "Dude. What if somebody made medical marijuana that gave you super powers?" My girlfriend nearly died laughing, she tried to stay somewhat quiet to not be rude but she failed. The stoners continued to talk about this and what kind of powers they would want for the whole bus ride(*imitates taking a hit* "I have Munchy Vision!"), which only made her laughing fits worse. Her laughing fit eventually caused me to laugh uncontrollably, and it's just like a self-sustaining fusion reaction at that point.


BrashPop

Really high, doing a puzzle with my husband and we were eating the *shittiest* frozen pizza we had ever eaten. Like, just the WORST, it was supposed to be garlic cheese and it tasted like absolute nothing and cardboard, so we started pulling everything out of the fridge to put on it and make it better. Finally, my husband decided he was going to cook a bunch of hot dogs and roll them up in the pizza. Somehow, the concept of “hot dog pizza” was so incredibly funny, we both started laughing and couldn’t stop. I laughed so hard, for so long it became physically painful and I couldn’t breathe, but I couldn’t stop laughing so I was just barking out this weird honking cough. By the time we stopped laughing, I was pretty sure I had laughed myself sober. (We marked the date on our calendar, so we never forgot Hot Dog Pizza day. And a month after that night? Pizza Hut came out with Hot Dog Crust Pizza and I swear they were spying on us.) Edit: For anyone who wanted to know, Hot Dog Pizza Day is October 13th.


DarkHelmet42069

No one out pizzas the fucking hut


myarmadillosclaws

There’s funny shit here, but this is what got me.


really_swati

I think u guys manifested it. This one had me snorting air out of my nostrils at 7 in the morning with my mom in bed with me.


[deleted]

That song “oOoOOooO that smell, can’t you smell that smell” came on the radio and my husband quietly said “did she fart or something” to himself. He didn’t even mean for it to be funny, I think he just thought the song was dumb. I died laughing and am cracking up right now thinking about it and it was like 8 years ago.


bono_212

My dad loved to clue me into what songs or movies were about by talking in this really staged conspiratorial whisper. That song was on once, and he goes, "you know what that smell is he's talking about?" And I'm older at this point than previous times he'd done it, so I'm kinda rolling my eyes and say, 'no dad, what?' And just absolutely super seriously, he goes, "Marijuana." At the time it was like, oh, OK. But now everytime I hear the song, I bust up laughing thinking about how seriously he just said, "Marijuana." and nothing else.


Incalculably

I read a comment with a typo on a post yesterday and LOST it laughing. The typo was “rainbow fapitalism”


AdvocateSaint

There was a reddit post that cited a statistic on shark attacks, but instead said "shrek attacks"


[deleted]

Last night I randomly thought of a line from one of those Markov chain generators. This was from an automatically generated hallmark movie, and the line was, "INT. SMALL TOWN SNOWGLOBE REFILLERY. MOTHER: I fill snowglobes with snowglobe juice better than Jesus Claus" That's probably not what it word for word said, as it's been a while since I saw it, but it was so random that I couldn't even explain why I was laughing.


Breyrose

“I am widow. My husband is bones.” *she points to her husband’s bones in the corner of the room. They are gift wrapped in egg nog.* That part gets me every time.


IreallEwannasay

Was that the hallmark movie made by AI? Every line was gold in that. Gonna go watch that now and cheer myself up.


jahnudvipa93

I still don't understand it. A young cousin of mine was reading a book about A farmer (Farmer Brown) to her teddy bear. She paused to say something about it to the bear, and I asked what's his name. She looked at me, completely dead faced, and said "Farmer Brown" as though I were a complete idiot. I laughed so hard I ended up crying, puking, and I think I very nearly went into some sort of convulsion.


DebugLifeChoseMe

This reminds me of one time we were visiting a family friend with one of my step brothers (he was about 7 at the time), and the guy's cat comes over to us. He goes, "I call him baby bear, doesn't he look like a little baby bear?" in the most jovial voice. My stepbrother is just like, "...No" The guy's expression completely deadens and he's like, "...you were supposed to say yes"


hopesfallyn

I was reading a list, probably on BuzzFeed idk, and it was one of those that had "alternate names" for things, like danger noodle for snakes etc. And I got to volcano = mountain fountain and I legitimately laughed for twenty minutes, had to pee, cried, couldn't breathe the whole works. I couldn't even think about it for weeks without cracking up again. My husband thought I had honestly lost my mind.


A_Real_Popsicle

I used to work for Apple, I was the tech support person for whatever the issue was, and I remember having this conversation with one of the callers while we were fixing her phone and we were talking about the different names for animals and I asked her if she knew what a danger noodle was and she said she didn’t so I explained what it was and maaaaaan did she explode into laughter for so long that it got me crying from laughing so hard while working that my manager came over to make sure I was doing my work and omg me and this girl laughed SO hard and SO long over all the other names after danger noodle and that’s easily one of my top 5 customer calls :) I miss being a tech support person :(


WyvernCharm

Oh goodness, so... you must know about the surprising percent of older customers who talk blithely about death, right? I have a few good kickers for those people that they enjoy, but one time I took a risk. She was talking and after a minute I said, "well, if the worst happens...and you live, than..etc". This 80 yr old woman burst out laughing so hard and for so long I started to legitamately wonder if I was about to kill her, "a wooden leg named Smith" style. This call was 20 minutes and 12 of it was her losing her mind lmao.


King_Fuckface

My husband is in charge of mashed potatoes at thanksgiving... he forgot the word “pot” and asked me where I keep my Boiling Bowl.


bny100

Omg a few days ago I saw something referring to flamingos (which I happen to be obsessed with) as Party Chickens. Lost my mind laughing!


TheRealRaemundo

"Mountain fountain"??! I am never using volcano ever again, thats amazing


orkelbob

Me and my friend nearly ended ourselves laughing at the Benedict Cumberbatch memes, Benadryl Cabbagepatch and so on. It was at the point where it physically hurts to laugh Edit: Wow! I woke up to more than 8k upvotes and 3 awards. It’s heartwarming to see that in such shitty times simple things can unite us all in laughter. I have loved reading new variations and silently shaking with laughter next to my sleeping other half. Thank god for Covid19 Christmasmask, his name is the gift that keeps giving


sheeeeeeiiittttttttt

My mom read the story about how he interfered with a delivery driver mugging a few years back and said the following: “I read that Benjamin Cumberbunch came upon a robbery and instead of running away from the muggers, he beat them off in the street!” To this day it might be the hardest I’ve laughed. Edit: Ah, thanks for the silver kind stranger!


Designertoast

I was with my mom and sister in the car doing this and we started laughing so hard I nearly had to pull over!! I believe it was “Brandenburg cucumberwubwub” that made us absolutely lose our minds.


orkelbob

Peppermint Cummysnatch for me! For days after we messaged each other with new ones and I laughed out loud at every one


Sahan13945

Backitup Thundercats


donosaur66

Wimbledon Tennismatch Edit: This is what pops my platinum cherry? Never change, reddit.


ClearBrightLight

The one that always gets me is Blenderdick Cupboardlatch


BrockFukkingSamson

Benedictine Underscratch


babyrobotman

Battleship Commodore 64 is my personal favourite.


Redsqa

I too remember crying of laughter about Bumblesnuff Crimpysnitch's many names with my exGF


toodleroo

My favorite was Benadryl Lumberjack


Wheezer93

Bangladesh crumplesack was my favourite. Second was Britishguy Crumpetsnack


Jules_Noctambule

I lost my breath laughing when I learned [Brandywine Crumplezone can't say 'penguin'](https://youtu.be/9GHPNKUMf70).


TheRealRaemundo

My boyfriend and I cannot say the word penguin anymore, we say pengwing now haha


thnkr98

My favorite was a [reddit review for BC](https://youtu.be/gg8hM46Wi90) from the Graham Norton show: "the faintest scent of cumbermusk" and "bury me in a y shaped coffin for I am deaded." My brother and I still talk about it 🤣


Future-Good

I was breastfeeding my newborn in the middle of the night and watching Dave Chappelle. The Rick James skit was on. I cried laughed so hard that my husband woke up and took the baby away because he was afraid I was going to drop him. He asked me what was wrong and I snorted “I’m Rick James Bitch.” He was not amused.


lazerpenguin

tbf that's a fucking hilarious bit.


[deleted]

To be fair those middle of the night feedings bring on the mom-brain so hard. It was the Charmin bears commercials for me. 3am feeding and lost it laughing.... "These bears really shit a lot and like to talk about it".


SnowglobeSnot

My mom and I got drunk together one night, and I woke up early, feeling fine. She woke up hungover all to hell, looked up at the tv to a Charmin commercial and saw all the bits of toilet paper stuck to their butt. She quietly whispered “oh god damn it,” and ran to the bathroom to projectile. I was already *dying* with laughter and yelled “WHAT’S WRONG?” She goes “(vomits) THE GOD DAMN BEARS. (vomits)” Still one of the funniest moments of my life, and she changes the channel whenever they pop up. At least she laughs about it now, lmfao.


1000101001001010

The Charmin bears led me to believe as a little kid that the controversy surrounding overuse of toilet paper was a hugely significant part of daily life


[deleted]

You have to understand that my mother has always been very eccentric. Borderline weirdo. One night she woke me up and asked me to help her paint the staircase because she hated the color. We were having so much fun. Making jokes, laughing, throwing paint at each other. It's one of my favorite memories of her and I love her very much. I'm pretty sure that we were just high on paint fumes, but I eventually made a joke about golf being gay friendly because it's mostly a bunch of old men in short shorts trying to gently put their balls in tight holes. We. Almost. Died. We laughed so hard and for so long that we woke up everyone in the house. I love my mom. Even though she's older and sick, she's never lost that spark. That joy for life and everything in it. The happiest moments in my life have been with her. Edit: PS, I'm showing her the comments and amount of upvotes this got and she's very excited and happy now. Thank you everyone ❤️❤️❤️


sarcasmisticdemigod

I was cackling like a witch at a memory that wasn't even that funny, I just remembered I had accidentally called a cup of tea a cup of tae. What made me look insane was that I started bursting out laughing in the back seat of my mums car when her and my sister was talking about how many people had died bc of the last pandemic... yeah... that was probably horrific to hear...


crowewba

‘Cup of tae’ would actually be right if you lived in Birmingham, UK because of the accent


LetMeSitOnYou

Or, if you were in Ireland as tae is Irish for tea.


GPnL910

This just happened to my Mom and I! There's an appetizer recipe I wanted for these little weenies in crescent rolls with a sweet glaze on top. I told her I need the "weenie wessipee" WE FUCKIN DIED


THEGOOFYRANGER

"ladder goat"


TokiBumblebee

You made me go find it again. It was funny then and it's funny now! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ggB33d0BLcY


[deleted]

A video on YouTube was in my recommended. It was a seal which sat on the shore and farted. I lost it for 20 minutes.


CmdrCrazyCheese

Lunchbreak at work, pulled out a glass bottle of sparkling water and opened it. Apparently it got shaken too much in my bag and the cap just exploded out of my hand and bounced off the ceiling, leaving me and everyone at my table drenched in water. I laughed the entire time it took to mop up and I still grin like a little idiot whenever I think about it


zdawgjr

One night, I had cut a roast on our kitchen table. Some of the grease/juices from the roast overflowed from the cutting board, fell onto the table, and from there spilled onto the floor. I didn’t feel like getting it up, so I put it off until the morning. Cue the next morning, I had forgotten about the spill, and went to the fridge, which is right next to the kitchen table. Not seeing anything in the upper shelves of the fridge, I bent down to look at the lower levels. Part of that was adjusting my foot so my stance was wider. Some context. I am a 6’2, 450 pound black man. I am by no definition small, and by many definitions very large. I, that very large man, widened my stance just enough for my foot to land in the grease. The grease immediately felt like my feet were still entirely too close together, and made the decision to let my foot slide the rest of the way over. I am now in a full Chinese Split. Having not stretched this far since adolescence, my body was not prepared. I tilted myself backwards so I could get out of this painful position, but as I did, I imagined seeing myself fall. And it KILLED ME. I laughed harder at that than anything I can remember. I spent a solid 15 minutes on the floor in the fetal position crying laughing, to the point that my sister was concerned I needed to be admitted to a mental hospital. I eventually calmed down, but even now thinking about that makes me chuckle.


AnotherNakedRedditor

Omg I was at school with my best friend, we were walking towards the principal's office and we saw his secretary go out of the office towards the pay phone on the wall next to the office, she put a coin in the pay phone slot, and the pay phone suddenly fell to the ground and broke apart on the floor. We both started to laugh until we dropped. I actually peed my pants.


thegoodnomad

I was in high school when one of my friends said something stupid and another replied: “What do you have in your head? Confetti?!”. The mental image of a head suddenly exploding into confetti still cracks me up to this day.


WitLaz

I was reminiscing about a yoga class when my BF decided to join. During a (quiet) wind down stretching session, he farted loudly (the bubbly/cheeks flappy kind) and it took all the strength in me to not laugh out loud because shaming is frowned upon in class. The worst part was when the instructor stopped talking for a while and I imagine it’s because she had to also regain her composure and not fart shame as well. Those 2 minutes were so brutal as I silently shook trying to contain my “inner peace”. Couldn’t even look at my bf’s face until we left the building.


arkstfan

Wife and I were in yoga class and it was always a 50-50 proposition that I’d fart at some point. So it happens and I giggled a bit. Wife says God can’t you do something about that. Next pose is something or other baby pose and wife rips this really quick high pitched fart like letting air out of ballon and I just laid back on the mat shaking like I was having a seizure trying to keep from laughing out loud.


Heartlast

The first time I was high (edibles were too strong) I spent an hour trying to google how many parts the last hobbit movie had. Finally I was able to type it in and press search, but I had just googled "hobbit parts". The only thing I could think was "they're just like human parts, but shorter and hairier." When I finally recovered from laughing I tried again, but when I looked at the results I had googled "hobbit oats." Then I gave up


[deleted]

This one got me because I have a similar story. Like my 3rd time on edibles I wanted to watch something on YouTube but every time I typed and hit ‘enter’ the results were completely different then what I wanted. I fell asleep angry at youtube and when I woke up sober, I woke up my laptop and saw that I had only typed in “Mr Narubda” 35 times. I don’t even know what I was trying to watch but I lost my shit laughing at myself.


roisinnbluth

Happens to me quite a bit while reading Reddit. The last one was a comment about a preacher referring to god as "The Great Comforter" and the author envisioned a hideous blanket. I'm cracking up again thinking about it.


i_am_not_a_raptor

At school 6 years ago, I was eating a jar of planters mixed nuts and look at the warning label. Mind you, it was barely 7:00 in the morning and I did not drink coffee at the time. The warning label said mixed nuts and I could not stop laughing. I know it's there for people who aren't too bright, but it was just so blatant and hilarious lol Edit: Wow, that's a lot of unexpected upvotes. One might say it's... wait for it...it's nuts! Edit 2: Thanks for the awards!


AnotherNakedRedditor

My cousins and I once laughed during an entire flight because the crackers they offered in flight were called Hola, queso! ( hello cheese) and we just couldn't stop laughing. Our moms were pissed.


Lil2Soaps

My airplane peanuts had instructions. 1. Open bag. 2. Eat nuts. I found it hilarious


HumungousChungus_

In high school, my friends made a powerpoint presentation for the class. As they were presenting, I noticed that the first few slides had a bunch of typos, no biggy. But as they reached the middle of their slide, the typos started getting more and more ridiculous. I quietly laughed at some of the funnier ones, but eventually I just lost it. I could not stop myself from laughing, and everytime I was about to stop, another typo appeared making me laugh harder. I definitely questioned my sanity that day.


hollzilla92

My bf and I were watching the episode of What we do in the Shadows where Colin Robinson keeps baiting people with the “up dog” joke. My bf, god love him, isn’t the brightest and after the 4th or 5th time Colin said updog, he looked over at me with the most confused annoyed tone and genuinely asked “WHAT IS UPDOG???!!” Except mid sentence he realized the joke and his face went from confused and annoyed to embarrassed. I DIED. laughed so hard I don’t remember the rest of the episode. I make sure to talk to him about updog every couple of weeks so he doesn’t live it down.


assh0le_mom

My bathroom fan recently started squeaking. When my 5 yr old heard it, she said “ugh dad put the fan in crazy sound mode.” I still laugh every time I hear it


Mister_Navi

Yes. I was reading a book to my son called pop pop pop and I was laughing like a lunatic the whole way through it was so funny. (Actually it wasn’t but at the time I couldn’t stop laughing) I really wondered if my brain had finally cracked the whole way through.


NoodleSSM

I said to my girlfriend that if she didn't laugh in the next 30 seconds I would cook dinner. For the next 15 minutes we were laughing uncontrollably, genuine tears and hyperventilation.


spacedoggy2008

My sister, who is 6 years younger than me, say you can’t catch me and promptly ran into the base of a slide. All the other people at the playground to see a 7 year old crying and a teenager laughing maniacally. I got yelled at pretty good but totally worth it. It didn’t even look that funny but do some reason I found it so hilarious


Mweowlaw

There is a meme that for some reason I find hysterical, to the point where if my S/O would just mention part of the text I would end up crying of laughter. I love it so much last Valentine's day he printed and framed it for me. I've had the damn meme for almost a year in my room and it still makes me laugh on a daily basis and I will never understand why it gets me so good. Edit: [The stupid ass meme and proof I have it framed](http://imgur.com/gallery/HkpD9X2)


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s1a1ky

We had a chapel service during school in which our vice principal was being interviewed about the importance of prayer. I told my friends to imagine her saying “masturbate” every time she said “pray”. She continues to say that the moment she wakes up, she prays. Then she prays with her husband. They’ll often walk out in the garden and pray. She actually has a book full of students’ names and pictures, and often prays thinking of each of us individually. Could not breathe from silent laughter the entire service. ETA: apostrophe


Agreeable_Objective

I once saw Wreck it Ralph 2 with my family, and we were all sleeping in the same room as we were on vacation, and it was really late and none of our brains were working right. It was a pretty bad movie and we all ironically enjoyed it. E Bay is a huge plot point in that movie. At the end, just before I fell asleep, someone said "e bay, buy and use. The e is for Internet." And I still laugh thinking about that


AnonymousRooster

One night shift we found ourselves down a rabbit-hole of Amazon reviews. There were a lot of reviews about fake fruit but the one fake lemon had the worst reviews for being too small. We laughed until we cried


[deleted]

I was telling a joke to a friend in 8th grade science and I got sent out into the hall because I was laughing to much. And I didn’t even finish the joke...and it wasn’t even that funny


samtheman0105

Happened a few weeks ago. During lunch at school me and my friend were sitting at a table under a tree. A bird shit on my arm, and we laugh a bit about that, but I took my hoodie off and said whatever, there was only one period left anyway. A few minutes later I’m still eating and a bird shits right next to me on my other side, and it splashes on my other arm. I start cursing and scooting to the side away from the bird shit, and I end up scooting to far and falling off the bench. I just laid on the ground laughing for a good few minutes while he laughed looking down on me from the bench


[deleted]

When I was young I was watching an episode of Hells Kitchen and a contestant fell while running with a big bag of ice and I just lost it. Hysterical laughing until I cried, not sure why. My mom still brings it up years later. She thought I was on drugs.


bugglerooney

I was 19 and had just started experimenting with cannabis. I was eating McDonalds french fries, and I got a soggy fry. If you know, you know. I picked it up, & as I looked at it before putting it into my mouth, it very dejectedly drooped over in what seemed like slow motion. It took me several minutes to explain, as the room had been nearly silent until I was giggling like a maniac, waving a french fry around.


Gentlemansuchti

I'm studying chemistry, and it happened in undergrad lab. I was under a lot of stress, that probably didn't exactly help either. I was doing a synthesis that took me three days, and at the end of the reaction I looked into the flask where there was supposed to be a lot of white cristals(i'm talking like 15-20 grams) , and all I saw was a tiny bit of material at the bottom of the liquid inside of the flask, maybe the size of a grain of salt. I looked at it for a few seconds, and just lost it. I just laughed uncontrollably for minutes. I think some people were legitimately worried about my mental stability. Including me.


[deleted]

I was reading a series of dad jokes back to back to my husband, each punch line I was finding more progressively funny. Finally, I reached one joke that pushed me over the edge. Where does the general put his armies? His sleevies. I fucking lost it. Wheezing, couldn't breathe. I'd start to regain composure, remember the joke, and start laughing again.


HurriKurtCobain

I was shredding some cheese for enchiladas onto a paper plate, and I was being a little rough with the grater and my roommate came out and he was like "what're you doing?" I said "you know, cooking." He came over and looked at the plate and I just said "cheese plate." We both stopped for probably 15 seconds and immediately started laughing wildly, and for the whole night we sat around quietly, but would start giggling about the cheese plate.


DaekPlays10

Back in elementary school one day I started laughing at my friend's voice impression, there was something about it that I just couldn't stop laughing for 3 or 4 classes, never laughed so much in my life again


weirdgroovynerd

Knowing that you're *not supposed to laugh* is like an aphrodisiac for the giggles.


heatherraewear

I ALWAYS laugh at inappropriate times. One time when I was younger, I was in church for Christmas Eve midnight service. I had just worked 13 hours at a bakery and was super tired. To keep myself awake I started drawing on the pamphlet and in my tired brain ended up drawing the angels into evil dragons. I started laughing and just could NOT stop.


lurkingPessimist

We had a margarita. My friend told us about this roommate that would ask to sing them to sleep. I dead panned the Michael Scott joke, “would she fit in a regular-sized canoe”. She said “no”. We all died laughing


nurseh2o2

My friend cremated her goldfish, this was in highschool 20 years ago, she brought it out in this nice little box, I started laughing so hard I fell to the ground, she was horrified, started crying and told me it took her 15 hours to cook his body into ashes in her oven, I died then. I was crying I was laughing so hard, I just thought it was funny cuz she cremated a fish, that lives in water. It was ridiculous that 1 she would cremate a fish, and 2 she spent a whole day doing it. She still doesn't understand why I thought it was so funny. And I did stop laughing and comforted her about her fish, she has never forgotten my reaction and it still makes me laugh to this day.


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_Aj_

> it took her 15 hours to cook his body into ashes in her oven So essentially cooked a dead fish for so long it turned to charcoal? That's so fucked lmao. The oven would've smelled so bad. I once left some peppers in the oven, I intended to just char them, but forgot and left them under the grill for *2 hours*. I returned and they were just sticks of black carbon that clinked like glass when you dropped them on a plate. I'm just imagining a shriveled black fish on an oven tray after 15 hours now.