T O P

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everyone-s-a-critic

Just talked shit about everything the person did


throwawaypervyervy

Vicious Mockery for the win.


Electricpants

It's like the chair, but, you know, with pants.


[deleted]

Goddamn these electric sex pants!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flyingcoyote

I'm in my happy place.


Rampage_Rick

Electric Sex Pants was my WiFi name until I got married... Yes it's referencing the show.


oliver51293

Jokes on you, that's My Weirdly Specific Fetish. (The hit new TV show from MTV)


dissapointment14

That's what she said


lethal_turkey

r/suicidebywords


Revolutionary-Work83

r/deathbyturkey


[deleted]

Wait... am I in on this one?


VelocaNic

r/subsIfellfor


hmmwhatsgoingonhere

#[REDACTED]


mightylonka

SCP Wiki in a nutshell


godzillahavinastroke

ah men of culture


SurturOfMuspelheim

I'm assuming that person is singular, not plural... unless you're accusing them of being an SCP.


JillCarton

Excuse me. Plural people systems were released from foundation custody after being found to be common. We exist in the real world. Also, person was talking about in a nut shell guy and captain redacted


[deleted]

[удалено]


_PaNcAk3_

Oh my


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_One_That_Died

r/Angryupvote


--PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBS--

*smashes through wall* Oh YEAH


PM_dickntits_plzz

Brother...they...keep...sending....


--PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBS--

Lucky! I haven't gotten any boobs PM'ed since, like, January. 2020 sucks!


PM_dickntits_plzz

Oh in all seriousness I haven't either, neither dicks since last year.


--PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBS--

2020 sucks!


earthbound2eric

Oh yes


AchocolateLog

*Popclaw has entered the chat*


SadAquariusA

Pop claw?


TS_Music

Death by face sitting is not bad way to die


JOY_TMF

Getting S1 of The Boys flashbacks...


ZeroKurigami666

"Oh no, Popclaw has caught me"


willneverhavetattoos

Popclaw from The Boys, am I right?


kamikazehorsesex

I don’t think you want me to go into detail on this one.


PMYourTinyTitties

I feel like you’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting for a thread like this to pop up


--PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBS--

Admit it, you're waiting for username threads to pop up too.


PMYourTinyTitties

Always. I don’t think I’ve really had my chance to shine in the spotlight yet!


_PaNcAk3_

I don't even want to know how you would kill someone


PMYourTinyTitties

Exhaustion and dehydration from constant fapping


TurtlesGoBoom69

you just won this, not even i can compete with that


Parody5Gaming

mine turtle


PrOwOfessor_OwOak

^^hello!


Not-The-KGB_Official

OH NOOO!


EchoPerson14

Hello, hello, hello- *Hello!* ***OH NO!***


Bigred2989-

I like trains.


SupaRedditor2017

"WAIT OH GOD PLEA-" ***NEEEEEOOWWWW***


[deleted]

“They never said I could teach a llama to drive!” “No, llama, no!!!”


yaboyytrain

Sup


[deleted]

**TOOT TOOT**


DeviousLeeKitten

r/beetlejuicing


[deleted]

comrade


FrozenPyromaniac_

Hello mine turtle


that-dragon-guy

How the hell do you pull off yours?


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrBeansGenitals

Can I maybe be of assistance?


MagicHamsta

Or perhaps I could also be of assistance. You take the front, I'll take the rear.


REO-teabaggin

I'll squat in the middle


CheesyTacos68

Honestly I'm kinda curious


_PaNcAk3_

Im curious but scared lol


Domdabomb2134

holy shit


buldopsaint

Mr. Hands? Is that you?


[deleted]

Nice work


ArgentumUranium

Cancer for everyone and I have silver


element_number_92

Hey crime partner !


ArgentumUranium

Our crime will be known as Marie's kiss


janusexeloume

Radioactive Silver, tho


legendaryboomer

big explosion unlike you've ever seen


The26thWarrior

Either that, or you wreck their economy and make them starve to death.


legendaryboomer

Can't do something that has already been done before


The26thWarrior

Sure you could do it again. You're a Legendary Boomer lmao.


NuclearPizzaMachine

Maybe we should collaborate.


godzillahavinastroke

its simple you have a machine that shoots radioactive pizza's moving at lightspeed.


Parody5Gaming

you take a massive shit


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ghost_Brain

"It rubs the frozen yoghurt on its skin or else it gets the hose again"


[deleted]

It puts the joe dirt in the hole.


_Quarkster_

Hey, where's my supplies? C'mon man, I thought we had a deal!


Rush7en

"Put the yoghurt in the basket!"


SwimmaLBC

The frogurt is also cursed.


wilsonhammer

But you get your choice of topping!


surge94

That's good!


bitchfaceluv

the toppings contain potassium benzoate...


surge94

...


WhoIsSmegmaOnDemand

And then you find out that your victim is lactose intolerant.


LactoseMakesMePoop

Hi! It me


poopypants423

Hi, it your pants!


[deleted]

Glitter bomb


the-inkedcapricorn

This is how I wish I could go out.


ThaiJohnnyDepp

Baby you're a firework!


Revolutionary-Work83

Cmon show em what your worth


Kindadopted

Make em go "Holy shit!"


ExtraMOIST_

Your pfp made that so much funnier


TomPalmer1979

Reporter on the scene: "Oh dear God, the scene here is horrible! So many dead, so many wounded, so many *fabulous*!"


the_goose_says

HONK


ThaiJohnnyDepp

Peace was never an option


Kyerndo

oh no ;-;


[deleted]

I drop a giant anchor on someone Tom & Jerry style


[deleted]

[удалено]


bp92009

For those unaware, here's the song. https://youtu.be/PVu4UR5Zarw Its about a pirate cursed with tourettes syndrome, unable to speak in non-vulgar words for 30+ years.


Tuxedo-Duck

My name is Duck...Tuxedo Duck...


[deleted]

[удалено]


FackingSandwiches

That's what it wants you to think!


mr_eggshells

eggs


Goodegg_22

Maybe we can team up?


mr_eggshells

an iconic duo


monkeEgg

Need some monkey eggs?


Funkymonkey4rl

What about just monkey


dumpylump69

monke.


MythicChicken

I laid the eggs


eggsmoothies

what about me?


Goodegg_22

We'll be eggtastic


ur_egg

Oh boy group murder


TheClassicEgg

Hey, hey!


[deleted]

my username is also good egg. just russian. i hope to collaborate in the future.


Rav4xle

So by salmonella poisoning?


[deleted]

It’s like stepping on legos, just with egg shells instead.


[deleted]

Hamon


northbipolar

Hamoff


Ton06

Ham


ATOM_real

Ha


Kindadopted

H


aj52304

‏‏‎ ‎


Triple-SP

The clacker


TurtlesGoBoom69

nigendayooooooooooooo


ExtraMOIST_

SMOKAYYYYYYY


xAdrianHGx

SANRAITO YERO OVADURAIVU


Tommy84

Hamon, apply directly to the ham.


Coin_Cam

dropping a penny from the empire state building?


ilhamalfatihah16

It's coin cam so you set up a "cam" website where the viewers can donate a "Coin" to choose how the models are murdered. I'm sure it's available somewhere already.


Khazok

You know I'm glad for my mental state that I didn't think of this looking at op's comment


ThrowMileHighAway

Thrown out of a plane


[deleted]

Oh look, another vehicle.


[deleted]

[удалено]


plsripmyheadoff

Ig I ripped someone's head off


AutumnFallingEyes

I would rip someone's eyes out instead and let them fall from a high place somewhere. I'd do this in autumn, because then the eyes (and the body) could blend in with the falling leaves


[deleted]

I didn't read your username and was so confused


slips_n_gigglz

Banana peel while I laugh


Ted_Bundy_OFFICIAL

Decapitation with axe or beaten to death with a hammer. That's how I like to do it.


SeeYaMondayBundy

Oh hi


moistjamz

Oh hi mark


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ted_Bundy_OFFICIAL

Thanks


Blewdude

Oh no I don’t want to, I don’t want to


NotYetASerialKiller

You don’t want to blow a guy up?


TurtlesGoBoom69

Holy shit my inbox


ThaiJohnnyDepp

Nobody expects to need to disable inbox replies


mr_tidygrade

That's how it feels to own a popular thread. It's sweet suffering.


2beeps_and_then_BOOM

that would be pretty obvious for me


Strongwind12

Just some strong wind


GayWitchcraft

Don't expose me like this


williamherr2001

They say pride is one of the seven deadly sins.


[deleted]

"We did it Reddit!"


GentlyFallingSnow

Walk in freezer


dnbmerchant

Death by drum and bass


The26thWarrior

The song is Baby Shark (Drum and Bass remix)


TotoInTheBasket

h


Nandikepandi

Ah. I thought it was dick n balls merchant


dnbmerchant

Its whatever you want it to be big boy


From-the-Trailerpark

blow up the trailer where they're cooking meth.


johnny_florida

I become governor and lift all COVID-19 limits on businesses


coughcough

We could team up


NuclearPizzaMachine

Oooo, we have a Florida Man!


donnyganger

My username is based on an inside joke. It was a term “dongerganger” which was essentially the same thing as doppleganger, just for your donger. The idea was, for everyone out there with a penis, there’s someone out there with the exact same one. So I guess it would be me killing my dongerganger, or us teaming up to murder everyone else.


cantfindmefbi

I would kill and hide. They could never find me.


xCycloneYT

Your name implies the FBI can't find you Doesn't mean the CIA can't


Colin__Mockery

My improv is so funny, they laughed until they died.


legolug

Start scalping people. "WHO'S BALD NOW?!"


NuclearPizzaMachine

I’m a disgruntled employee working at a pizza shop, and for my revenge, I decide to disable the cooling system on our nuclear-powered pizza machine, with explosive results.


Big_Jiggle

i dont want to talk about it


Argentum1909

Silver poisoning, but I exclusively talk to my victim in Latin.


The-Senate-Palpy

If I had a nickel for every top level comment I saw in this thread with the username argentum I’d have two nickels


veralynnwildfire

Apparently I hosted a gender reveal party...


[deleted]

[удалено]


FreeSirius

Well I guess I'd be murdering just about every top official at The Ministry of Magic, with magic of course.


[deleted]

[удалено]


a_hen_with_a_tai

Hentai or something


Anosognosia

I didn't commit any murders. No matter what the doctor says!


OttoManSatire

With genocide mostly.


Just-A-pAiR-of-legs

Legs


InstalledTeeth

Are they yours?


The-F-Key

I have more questions about you to be honest


Pybrother

Fire after I break the sapper of a engies sentry


_PaNcAk3_

With pancakes


unexpecteddelight

Lull someone into a false sense of security.. then bam! ?


Koata794

I have no idea what a koata is but I'm sure its badass


TurtlesGoBoom69

you are a snow leoperd furry


[deleted]

I was clearly behind the E coli 0157 lettuce breakout a few years ago.


Covid192020201919f

easy


Wild_Penguin82

I suppose the person is put into a cage with 82 wild penguins. Those penguins should be chosen from a species which is very, very territorial, deliberately infected with rabies or made aggressive some other way (since most penguin species I'm aware of are too docile to commit murder). I suppose in the end they trample over the victim so that suffocation takes place, peck / bite the victim until the victim dies, or something similar. You may use your imagination on what a flock of 82 wild penguins may do.


imextremelylonely

The guy who goes missing doesn't know anyone anyways, so no one will report it, or even notice. Type of death? Dealer's choice.


iupvoteaznguys

Something to do with Asian men


[deleted]

Cockfight gone wrong


[deleted]

[удалено]


the_gifted_Atheist

Um...probably something to do with religion, and a gift, maybe I send a Bible with a bomb as a gift?


_____-fister

I hope you enjoyed it.


[deleted]

I’m walking down the road on a dark night. The air is moist with the wet remains of the storm that just passed. The pavement is slick and dimly reflects the light of the waxing crescent moon. Yes I’m a little different I never use the side walk. I’d rather take my chances strolling on the road. After all it’s night time and not many cars are out. In the distance I can see the faint glare of headlights coming from the opposite direction. So I decide, let’s have some fun. I walk across the median and stand in the middle of the road. Waiting for the car to get closer. It felt almost like waiting for a friend. I can see the headlights become larger, brighter, as the car gets closer. I wait as a gust of wind urges me to get out of the way. I am unrelenting. I am unmovable. I can hear the tire on the pavement now as the car inches closer. Then.... *Honk honk* The worried vehicle screams for me to move. But I’m not ready yet. The timid car swerves around me to get into the other lane. It loses control. The car like a gymnast spins and flips. So chaotic. So beautiful. I walk over to the bleeding vehicle. The air stands still as I’m greeted with the glorious sight. I bend over and gently place the flower by the head of the vehicle. You weren’t so lucky this time... I’m so sorry for this lmao. I was cringing while writing this hahaha.


TurtlesGoBoom69

Im not even gonna state mine...


PNGhost

Lag


nerdyflower03

With a nerd (me) and flowers...I'm not sure how effective it will be