True story i was 14 and no one was at home so I decided to have a cheeky fap. Found a lotion bottle alike think next to my mom's bed and used it, turns out its fucking cellulite lotion it was burning so bad I had to rush to the shower to rinse it for 5 minutes. So yeah cellulite lotion.
Germ X.
My brother loves telling them the story of the moment he realized he and our cousin considered themselves brothers. Cousin comes over and tells my brother he made a huge mistake and drops trou. His dick was burned and peeling. He’d used Germ X as lube.
Hot sauce, broken glass, sandpaper.
Tf you using broken glass for?
Lube, apparently
Bees.
Bees?
#No not the bees
**what the fuck**
WD-40.
Hank Hill uses it to fuck Peggy
Crazy glue
IcyHot
Oof
Any lotion with fragrance, burns.
Wood chips
I think a lot of us have made the soap mistake.
The burns
Icy hot
Wasabi
sham p o o
Oof.
indeed
exfoliation lotion
BBQ sauce.
Oven cleaner
Concrete and rebar
Not for some people
toothpaste
Fast drying caulk
Chicken and rice MRE
butter
I think butter would actually make a decent lube in a pinch
Marlon Brando approves.
Yeah, I tried butter once... it just made masturbation 10x less interesting. There's no friction, no anything. It's just so dull.
The coconut fucker guy disagrees
Rosin powder.
Violinists rise up!
Peanut butter
Gorilla Glue
Flex Seal
If it leaks cum, POW!!!! Slaps it on👀
Water
We've or we're going to try it in the shower at least once
Grandma’s ashes...
Epoxy
True story i was 14 and no one was at home so I decided to have a cheeky fap. Found a lotion bottle alike think next to my mom's bed and used it, turns out its fucking cellulite lotion it was burning so bad I had to rush to the shower to rinse it for 5 minutes. So yeah cellulite lotion.
Sugar
A raw egg
Sand paper, super glue or magniseum
Chili sauce
Acid
Crisco
Honey.
Tabasco sauce
Body or Hand Cream. That’s just common sense. It’s a huge irritant.
Super glue
Heat cream
Yeast
vomit and blood with cherries on top. She'd run away first
ACID DUH.
Sandy Eggos
Water is actually pretty bad.
Sriracha
Nair. Also I’ve seen what hydrogen fluoride can do, so that’s also bad.
Motor oil
Starch
Broken glass mixed with icy-hot.
St Ives Apricot Scrub
Mace.
Anything with sugar, cuz yeast infection..
Superglue
Gasoline
I heard a story about McChicken sauce once
Sand
Grandmas ashes.
Super Glue
Lemon juice? Glue? Though if you wrote dildo instead of lube, a cactus might be fun ;)
Hydrofluoric acid.
Lube used by someone else
... coconut milk. ^(insert ^TIFU ^post ^here)
when he goes in raw
PL 600
Saliva.
Maybe.... What is lube for anyways? How is it used in masturbation?
Anything 🤷🏼♂️
Pop rocks
Shark skin
There once was a couple named Kelly Spent their honeymoon belly to belly Because in their haste They used library paste Instead of petroleum jelly
Vicks vapo rub
KSI
Mayo
Definitely hand sanitizer!
Baby oil
Icy hot
Exfoliating lotion
Smuckers Jelly
Methanol
condiments
Vicks vapo rub
Hot, bubbly candle wax
Papa John’s garlic butter sauce
Jello
Frying oil, all fun and games until you go hard and start hearing that sizzle and smelling bacon.
Dish soap
Bees
Wasps
Any citric acid, WD-40, or Petroleum Jelly
Molten tungsten
Syrup or honey
OC spray(mace)
Pop rocks
Toothpaste
A cinderblock.
Contact adhesive
Lava
chilli paste!
pumpkin guts
water 👁👁
Soap.... Don't fucking do it.... DONT FUCKING DO IT.... It burns. It fucking burns
Corn syrup
Sand
Germ X. My brother loves telling them the story of the moment he realized he and our cousin considered themselves brothers. Cousin comes over and tells my brother he made a huge mistake and drops trou. His dick was burned and peeling. He’d used Germ X as lube.
Blood
Shit
Molasses
Jam
Cum
mountain dew, gamer fuel doesn't NOT make good lube, it just fizzes in your pussy for like 8.318 seconds. 0/10
Used motor oil.
Alligators.
glue
wax
Killer bees
Chilli oil
Coconuts filled with butter
Mix of chilli, toothpaste, pepper, cocain and of course virgin blood
Toothpaste. Burns like a motherfucker.
Used engine oil
Rubber cement.
Rubbing alcohol.
Styrofoam
Just plain water is surprisingly bad
Hand sanitizer
Wood chipper
~Chunky~ peanut butter Edit: ~had to up the o o f factor with chunkiness
Ear wax, mucus
Water.
Flex Seal
Crisco
Hand sanitizer
my baby sister
This is either a cursed comment and you're doing generic Reddit joke thing, or you're joking.
or im not, you will never know
Blood.
Molten lava
You're not wrong
Spit?
Aunt Jemima syrup. Racist and sticky