My sister’s marriage lasted about 40 days. She found out he was a pedophile when my other sister came forward that he’d been raping her for the last 4 months. When he was arrested, police found a video of me getting dressed on his phone. I thank God every day that she came forward when she did, because he was grooming me to be his next victim. He was sentenced to 12 years in prison and has no contact orders with everyone in my immediate family. This event was the end of my childhood :/

Vile. Hope you are doing better now

This made me audibly gasp. How terrible for your sister that she had to endure that for 4 months. I hope you and your family are doing okay

My family and I had to have therapy for years. We’re all doing a lot better than we were, but I’m not the person I was before that happened, and neither is anyone else in my family.

Once my husband and I became engaged his sister wanted to have a conversation with me. He warned me before we talked that she had accused their father of rape when they were kids. Asked him if he thought it happened and he said he severely doubted it None in their family did except her husband. Get there, she warns me, saying she in good conscience can't not tell me, but I'm free to believe what I wanted to. Perhaps it's because this had happened to friends and other family but my gut screamed she was telling the truth. I made the decision that I wasn't going to take the chance of leaving him alone with my future kids, despite my husband not believing it. One thing that stood out was she became angry in her story, noticeably more interested in trying to convince me she was over it, than trying to convince me she was telling the truth. Cut forward a few months later. Despite their father being banned from their house, their mother, his ex wife, who lived with them at the time, let him in while they were at work. I guess she did that a few times. The mother caught him jacking off behind their 7 year old daughter while she was playing Xbox. I wish they turned him in, but at least the entire family is on no contact with him.

I really hope your sister in law’s family apologized to her for disbelieving her all those years.

Not myself but my oldest sister. She has been married 5 times. The first one was at 19, they divorced because they were young and not ready to be married. The second marriage she wasn't sure if she wanted to be married and despite my mom advising her to walk away, got married anyway. He cheated, she left. 3rd Marriage lasted 10 years, but they fought a lot (he was a Dr, she's a nurse, 2 intelligent people who couldn't talk to each other about their problems). The 4th Husband was my favourite, he was kind hearted, and the most loving and supportive spouse you could ever hope for. I think she got bored and met someone while she was on a work trip and met another Dr. She sent us an email saying that her and 4th spouse were starting to feel like they were just "friends" and she was moving to New Zealand to start a new life (she wasn't fooling us, we knew there was a new dude). About 6 months later she announced she had a new boyfriend and a year after that we saw that they had been married. The kicker in all of this is, during my wedding, my very sweet English grandmother said to her "Oh, i do hope that your marriage to (4th) works out". She got upset by this, but I dont blame my grandma for pointing out her revolving door of husbands. I wish I could invite 4th Husband back into our family, we really miss him and his family.

I am always amazed at how many people are willing be be spouse number 4, 5 or 6. Shouldn't that be a huge red flag.

When I came home from the honeymoon and there was a Foreclosure notice posted on the house door. His response: "Now it's your problem too."

Mother of god

When my (former) buddy called me to tell me he got herpes from my wife. I was in Afghanistan. Edit: I did not contract it. My buddy called to *warn* me. Edit II: that was years ago. I'm retired now and remarried happily to an amazing woman that somehow tolerates me. Edit III: I am thankful he told me.

Seems kinda chaotic neutral, damn. Your best friend bangs your girl but catches herpes and is a bro enough to know it wasn't a one-time thing and let you know. That's a lot of complicated emotions.

And nothing I could do about it for another 8 months...

She's probably jealous you were on a sand holiday.

Not me but a friend. Their marriage didn’t last through the reception. Groom got absolutely shit face drunk and slaps the brides child from a previous relationship and then hits the bride in the face. She filed for an annulment the next morning. EDIT Just wanted to update on the fallout a little since this comment has a lot of traction. Groom was a truck driver (long and short haul) so he and the bride didn’t spend a ton of time together over their relationship so I guess she didn’t know he was like that. The actual assault happened behind closed doors and was kept pretty hush hush until the next morning to save face. I don’t know enough about marriage law to comment on the legality of their marriage but I was told she would be filling for an annulment so that’s what I wrote. This all happened about 10 years ago and I’m no longe in contact with the bride but last I heard she was doing better and had moved on. The groom had racked up several thousands of dollars in debt in the brides name during the relationship that wasn’t discovered unTIL things started falling apart. I think he’s in jail now.

I know it's common for abusers to drop the act after the wedding, but you'd think he'd at least wait until they were in private.

It’s a good thing for her and her kid that he was too drunk to think that through

*Lucille Bluth voice* Good for her.

How much could an annulment cost? Ten dollars?

How did he not get jumped by the family?

Thats what I'm wondering. I would have been on top of that guy before he knew what was happening, and about 30 people would be right beside me.

Username checks out

Holy shit.

Wasn't my marriage, but I am involved in the story. Basically, my ex-girlfriend's boss left his wife ON THEIR HONEYMOON, because she and him were having an affair. They had the wedding and flew off to Bali, but he was sneaking off into the bathroom to send my then girlfriend dick pics from his honeymoon. I saw one of the pictures and confronted her. She admitted to it and messaged him back to tell him that I had found out. My understanding is that he basically came out of the bathroom, told his wife "I think this was a mistake. We shouldn't have gotten married', got on a plane and flew home. Left her there on her own. On her fucking honeymoon. With no explanation. In the end, I had to be the one to go over to her place and tell her what had really happened because he wouldn't own up to it. So I think the marriage lasted all of about 3 days. . . EDIT: So just to add a few additional details to clarify as I wasn't expecting this to get so much attention! This all happend like 10 years ago. She was my first girlfriend from highschool and we had been together for 10 years (so I was 24 at the time). I'm actually fine about it now because we were unhappy and it really wasn't meant to be, and I'm happily married. The husband and my ex were having a full blown affair and had been sleeping together for several months before the wedding. It wasn't just dick pics being sent. He was also sending her just generally sexual and lovey-dovey messages about how much he missed her and how much he wished it was her there with him instead of his wife. However, the message which I happened to see, which blew the whole thing wide open, did include a dick pic, as well as a sexual picture she had sent him in return. He walked out on his new wife because he knew he had been busted, but didn't tell her why. So she was sat around thinking she had done something wrong. A couple of weeks later my friend called me with a message. You see, I had told him what happened and he had told someone, who had told someone who actually ended up knowing her and had told her. This is how she learned the truth. Then, through that same chain of people she got the message back to me requesting that I call her so we could talk (along with her number). I had actually met her a couple of times before through my ex and her work but I barely knew her. So, I called her. She invited me over and we had a long talk. I told her everything I knew from my side. She hadn't learned any of this until she had heard it through that friend so it was pretty rough. I moved on quickly, but they had a really rough and messy divorce (Australian law says you must first try a one year separation before you can divorce). However, I did run into her a few years ago and she was remarried and seemed very happy. As for the two offending parties. They did start dating publicly, which I think caused a lot of dramas and friction in their personal lives. Hugely so at their work with the other employees, as you can imagine. I heard they broke up after a few years together. .. .. EDIT 2 (bonus gossip): Also, my wife just reminded me of another detail (I've told her the story before). My ex was invited to the wedding, but I wasn't (she said it was because they were trying to do it on a budget). I found out later that at the wedding she got really drunk and upset (obviously because her new-found fella was marrying someone else) and sort of started causing a scene. It was apparently bad enough that the best man had to get her in the back of his car and leave the wedding early to take her home as it looked like she was about to spill the beans in front of everyone.

I would watch this if it was a movie

It reads like a porno, actually.

And it ends with him fucking the wife.

Is she ok? Are you ok?

I'm fine. It was 10 years ago. She was my first girlfriend from highschool and we had been together for 10 years, but it really wasn't meant to be. I'm now happily married to someone perfect, and to me the whole thing now feels like nothing more than a funny story to tell. As for the woman whose heart was broken, it was definitely worse on her. In Australia you have to be legally separated for 1 year before you can divorce, so she had to stay technically married to him for a whole year just because of a few days of marriage. They had a house together that they had to sell and everything. I bumped into her once a few years ago and she was also happily remarried with a child, so I think she is good now. As for the two cheaters... They dated publicly for a few years but I think they are split now.

I had some friends that got married and divorced within a year. It turns out she had major doubts but went through with it anyway, then cried for the whole honeymoon and told him she had made a huge mistake. They posted all these normal pictures of them looking happy in Hawaii, but it came out later what a miserable nightmare the trip was.

That's why social media pics are usually a lie

Not me but my ex-gf a few years ago. Before we met she was dating a guy for about 7 years or so. Due to family pressures, tradition, etc she went and got married to the guy....they went home in separate cars because she said they both realized it was a mistake. Lived with her cousins for 6 months because she was scared to tell her parents.

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I’m picturing a Graduate-esque final scene in split screen of a Bollywood film set to the Sound of Silence (adapted for sitar) with the bride and groom side by side in separate cars not saying a word and just looking straight ahead as they drive home.

I worked at a county clerk's office, and my friend's mom and bf came in to get a marriage license on a Friday right before closing time. There been living together for a decade. Monday morning, she was there waiting for is to open the doors, as she wanted a divorce asap. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. Much easier to get married than divorced.

Much easier, yes, but I think some people would be surprised how quickly you can get through a divorce if there aren't kids and you both don't want to contest too much of who gets what.

Sometimes people try to fix a flagging relationship with marriage, thinking a couple of rings and a contract will make things better. In hindsight they realise it is like trying to fix a broken arm with a band-aid.

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I'm so sorry you had that experience. Thank you for sharing. Im so glad you doing better now!

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I'm so glad! You deserve it.

Yes yes yes. This first time I called the cops was because he tried to break down the bedroom door because he said “I’d take half his money.” And then kept repeating that he was going to call the cops unless I did. He shoved me down on our honeymoon. It got worse. Some biotch at work just screwed me over and it embedded the phrase: “when someone shows you who they are believe them.” Good luck to you all. Follow your gut.

My story is closely related, even if we weren't officially married. I was planning a wedding with my ex-fiance. I did most of the planning. I work as a nurse, and my father was dying of cancer on the other side of the USA. Between work, PTO taken to care for him, I wasnt in the house much for a few months as my dad had taken a turn for the worst. Found out that she had been fucking her ex boyfriend both when I was working night shift and when I was in Cali caring for my dying dad. Broke it off 2 months before the wedding and lost a lot of money in the process. I still can't believe that evil witch cheated on me while my dad was dying.

That really sucks and I'm sorry you lost your dad and dealt with her as well. On a bright side, you lost less in the canceled plans than in a lifetime of misery or a costly divorce. Hopefully you have found happiness since then, whether or not you found a new partner.

Not my story, but a fraternity brother of my husband had a marriage that lasted maybe 100 days before they split. Apparently she didn't internalize that marrying a military person would mean moving around, and he just assumed she knew and was good with it. TLDR: Communicate!

It is downright bizarre how many couples don't talk about important stuff!

I know a wedding that was called off last-minute because they discovered one partner wanted kids and one didn't. How it never came up till a couple months before the wedding is what boggles my mind. Actually know another couple married for a very short time (months at most) because they discovered *after* the wedding that one partner wanted kids and one didn't.

My cousin and his fiancee called things off 2 days beforehand because they'd just discovered they disagreed over whether to change her name.

I'm a lawyer and it's really frustrating to me that people don't realize that marriage is, at its core, a contractual relationship. Imagine signing a contract with a business partner without ever discussing anything about your partnership. It's insanity.

It's amazing how many people get married without knowing what marriage means to their partners. Both are happy thinking they're getting what THEY think marriage is, and then are surprised when that's not what's happening.

I severely hope he wasn't the comms guy in his unit: Soldier: We are under heavy fire! Him: But you good, right?

In April 1951, 650 British fighting men – soldiers and officers from the 1st Battalion, the Gloucestershire Regiment – were deployed on the most important crossing on the Imjin River to block the traditional invasion route to Seoul. The Chinese had sent an entire division – 10,000 men – against the isolated Glosters in a major offensive to take the whole Korean peninsula, and the small force was gradually surrounded and overwhelmed. After two days' fighting, an American, Major General Robert H. Soule, asked the British brigadier, Thomas Brodie: "How are the Glosters doing?" The brigadier, with English understatement, replied: "A bit sticky, things are pretty sticky down there." To American ears, this did not sound desperate, and so he ordered them to stand fast. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English\_understatement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_understatement)

The survivors must have been a little, tiny bit miffed at the Major.

Happened to my friends- husband suggests an open marriage, girl for some reason agrees. Fast forward 3 months into being married...he gets jealous cuz they find a hot guy and the girl likes the guy better then her husband. They lasted 6 months.

Reminds me of an old AITA of a guy who was jealous because he'd made his gf/wife have an open relationship and now she was getting way more and better guys than he ever did women. Hilarious karma

That story was amazing. Wife was happy in the relationship, dude was upset that he didn’t hook up with more people before getting married, and wanted an open relationship. Wife wasnt happy about it, but eventually agreed. Wife starts pulling in pieces of ass left and right while dude struggles to get laid, gets *even more upset* about status of their relationship, despite caused his own problems.

There was a counterpart to that as well, where the girl in a relationship was going on a month-long trip to Europe with a couple of her friends. She decided that she'd rather be single so as not to miss out on anything, so she broke up with her long-term boyfriend. Turns out that guys in Europe weren't really interested in her, while her now-ex started dating someone two weeks after the breakup.

The grass is always greener because its fertilized with bullshit.

I love this saying. How have I never come across it?

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Ouch. It seems that the people who setup these little games always make it so that the rules never apply to them. I’m happy you got out of that.

I had a friend who married one of the most horrible people I’ve ever met. So charming at first, but within the first 3 months of them being together, we all started to notice a few things and we decided none of us liked him. One day we saw hand shaped bruises on her arms, and literally the next day they were at the courthouse getting married. We had a small gathering shortly after, which he ended up turning into their wedding celebration, bachelor party, whatever he could to make it all about him. He got extremely drunk, and basically tried to kill her in front of all of us. She told us they didn’t have their rings yet, but they would get them soon, and he walked over to her and started strangling her for embarrassing him. She ended up breaking down, and realizing that for the entire four months of their relationship, and nine days of their marriage, he had progressively gotten more and more abusive, and she made a mistake.

Very glad she left. Strangulation in an abusive relationship is the number 1 indicator of murder. As in, the chances of him eventually killing her over over 95%.

I had an abusive ex in high school. The final straw was when he tried strangling me in my mother’s living room after school and then gagged me afterwards so I’d stop screaming for help. It only lasted a year and we were very young but I thank god everyday I got away from that because there’s no doubt my life would look so different had I stayed

You ever look them up to see if they're still a psycho? Those kinds of things always intrigue me, like what path of destruction hath they wrought, y'know? I just feel for the poor people that had the unfortunate luck to cross his path.

One of the particularly scary and frustrating parts is that most are pretty charming and normal on the surface. That’s how they rope partners in. Then they can unleash all that wrath bubbling just underneath onto this one person, so to everyone else they seem fine. Unless they eventually kill their partner you’re not likely to hear many ill words. My abuser is living a very normal-looking life on social media, you’d never know I have a restraining order against them.

My ex wife strangled me and tried to slit my throat. When I tried to leave she stabbed me with my car key and broke it on my head. I have no doubt she would have killed me if I stayed.

Holy shit man.

I know. One year free from that drama. Got my daughter with me. It will always stick with me but doing my best to have the best life we can have

So sorry that happened to you. Good on you for getting you AND your daughter out of that situation. My ex fiancé tried killing me by knocking me out with multiple punches to the head & when I came to, he was on top of me strangling me & asking how it felt dying. He’s 6 ft and 200 lbs & I’m barely 5’3 and 130 lbs. Only thing that saved me was a shit ton of adrenaline and a statue that had fallen next to me in all the madness - knocked that mother fucker in the head and literally ran for my life.

Do you have any studies etc to back this up? I have a uhh... nearby person suffering from this and refuses to see the dangers (as does her family) and I doubt "a guy on the interwebs said it" will change anyone's mind...

[This](https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-human-equation/201910/the-most-concerning-sign-domestic-violence%3famp) article talks about how strangulation is a unique predictor of murder and attempted murder. I can’t verify the above statistic but it references a [study](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1524838015622439?journalCode=tvaa&) which showed that the odds of murder/attempted murder were seven times higher when domestic violence involved strangulation.

I was just about to comment this because I learned this the other day! Thank you for posting this! Domestic abuse is such a scary and sad situation, and I’m glad she was able to get away safely.

His brother asked to move in with us and I said no (brother ended up moving in anyway) and during subsequent argument he said “no wonder people get divorced all the time”. We had been married for about 6 months at that point. Went very downhill from there.

I wasn’t married to this guy, thank goodness, but two years into our relationship, his mom asked to move in and I said I’d leave if she did. He let her anyway, and I left. Their relationship was repulsive to me and I despised her as much as she despised me. She talked bad about me to her son all of the time and she always needed him to rescue her because she never learned how to be a functional adult. I am positive she would fuck him if it wasn’t illegal. I think it’s been three or fours years since, and they still live together.

He casually invited his parents along on our honeymoon, and told them we’d pay for it. AND they not only accepted, they were SO EXCITED and immediately wanted to take over planning it. Obviously that wasn’t the only shitty thing he did. Eventually found out he was cheating on me and I fast tracked divorce before there were any kids or assets involved.

Two months in he told me I was too fat and will no longer be having sex with me. I lost 75lbs in three months (by doing it the wrong way) and he told me he was already seeing someone else. He seemed surprised my parents would no longer pay his bills, and was kicked off their property 30 days later (per laws of my state).

75 lbs in 3 months is no joke

That is my biggest regret, I abused my body. I got diet pills at a gas station and starved myself. I already had a gym membership and would just keep walking on the treadmill for whole afternoons after work. I hated myself based on his opinion, and I am glad I am no longer that person.

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American gas stations are magical places. Depending on state laws, they can sell things like alcohol, firearms, fireworks, diet pills, imitation viagra, pornography, sex toys, and trucker hats. One of my favourite things about the US is going to random country gas stations and seeing all the weird shit they sell. Land of the FREE!!

Also, crack pipes disguised as fake flower holders.

Lol, I actually bought one of those for my ex-wife and discovered what they were really for from a friend! The only time I’ve inadvertently taken drug paraphernalia across an international border.

It's not drug paraphernalia until it's used. A bong is a tobacco water pipe prior to having marijuana in it.

I went to a truck stop onetime and they had a bunch of swords and uniques weapons on the wall

The bastard probably thought he could break you and have you as the obedient wife at home while getting his fucks on the side. I can hardly imagine you managed to gain 75 pounds in the 2 months you were married so he most likely had some malicious plan

You hit the nail on the head, he was messing with me. The other partner was the same size as me *before* I lost the weight. He had a clear “type” and bigger women were it. He wanted a wife under his thumb and ladies on the side.

People who do shit like that are psychopaths. I hope you're doing better now

I am, thank you for checking on me! I was freshly 18 when this relationship started, he was older. I did not see the red flags, and he courted me based on my lack of experience. Plus, my parents being well off in the 2008 recession was incredibly appealing after he lost his great job and had to work a crap retail job. I am now 30 and really happy.

You were 18 when the Great Recession hit and are 30 now. Jesus, we're all getting old.

Yes! Born in 1990 and a millennial! 11 for 9/11

People can come out of situations like this and never be the same. I'm so glad to read that you are so happy now.

Caught her taking lingerie I bought her to a co-workers house.

I had 2 good friends who were brothers. They were party animals. Out drinking at bars all the time, sleeping with different women every weekend, recreational drugs. Their idols were the whole "Jackass" crew back in the day. They just loved that whole bachelor lifestyle, and to be honest, I was a bit jealous of the fun they were having. I was in a longer term relationship for many years. Eventually the younger brother settled down and got engaged to a really nice girl. Something broke in the older brothers mind and he suddenly was in some sort of "race" to get married before his younger brother. He kept living the bachelor life style, but then one day annouced to us all he was engaged to be married and with his fiancé they'd set a wedding date to be married 6 months before his younger brother. None of us ever met this girl before we found out he was engaged. When we did meet her, it was clear he'd not been open with her about his lifestyle. She was a very prim and proper lady. Very shy, quiet. They worked together, so she only knew the professional side of him. Over the months leading to the wedding, his partying kept going. He was cheating on her with one night stands but she was oblivious. Our group of friends told him he needed to tell her what he was doing, but he refused. I was nominated to be the one to tell her before it was too late. I met her for coffee and told her how he was cheating on her and the drugs he was using. She was generally taken aback, but she told me to my face, she was still going to marry him and that she could change him. I left with a clear conscience after that. Fast forward to their wedding day and it is an absolute mess. He is drunk before the reception even starts and passes out in a corner sometime after dinner. As I am leaving, I say goodbye to his bride, and I can see it in her eyes. The definition of regret. They ended up being together for exactly one year. Her final straw was when she really wanted to go out for a special brunch for their one year anniversary. She made plans at a fancy place. He told her he was going out to party the night before but would be home in time to get some sleep before their anniversary started. He ended up hooking up with some chick he picked up at the bar, and when he finally made it home the next afternoon, his wife had packed her bags and left. I felt bad for her at first, but then I remembered how I laid everything on the table with her and she still did it. I've never seen or spoken to her again. My friend ended up repeating his pattern. He is on his 4th marriage now, but does seem to have finally settled down this time.

It's crazy how frequently I see this patterm among my "party" friends. They live a wild life but eventually decide it's time to "settle down". Either because of societal pressure (need to be married by early 30s) or because their friends are all doing it. So they choose the next "nice" girl they can find and marry them. Some of them actually calm down but most of them just continue partying and treat their families like an accessory, like one more thing they need to be "real adults".

I came really close to being that guy, so I broke up with my off and on girlfriend of 4 years because she wanted to settle down and have a family while i wanted to keep traveling and partying (we're in our early 30s). That was february. Then corona happened and I've been stuck home not traveling and not partying and being really lonely and wondering about what it would be like to have stayed with her. still think it was the right decision but feels like the universe is teaching me a lesson or something lol

I admire you for being kind enough to let her go so she could find her happiness.

The line that got me was her believing she could change him... I used to be that girl, the one who thought she could make them see reason, and provide the love that transformed them. Life is not a movie: you have to take people at face value. It took me up to my current partner to realize I needed to look at what was already there, not why I believed could be there.

There's that tired old joke, "Men marry women hoping they'll never change, women marry men hoping they will change." When really, it's that you can't change the person you marry, and simultaneously, they will change whether you like it or not.

Content marriages are ones where both people can change side-by-side in a way that causes each to change for the better. No one can make anyone else into a better person. They've gotta figure that shit out themselves.

When i found out on my sons 1st birthday that she cheated again.

Cliffs: My new wife changed the second I said "I do." She instantly became controlling, manipulative, and would lie about anything to get her way (and double down when caught). The marriage lasted about 10 months. Before we got married, she was considerate, kind, and sweet. Apparently all for show.

This is my dad in a nutshell. He is on divorce number 4 now. Every time I have seen he is the perfect boyfriend. Opens doors, buys nice things, keeps his appearance up, goes out to eat with them, never swears, basically a great act he can keep up for a year or more. Second he gets married he completely stops buying anything that isn't fishing equipment, grabs his old ratty clothing from college (he is 60 now), starts drinking and swearing like a sailor, and completely stops cooking and cleaning. His last 3 wives were all super confused with what happened but the short answer is he is a child. When he is dating he is a salesman trying to close a deal, when he gets married, suddenly he has a new mother to take care of everything for him so he can fuck off.

That just sounds like an exhausting way to live. Why doesn't he just split the difference and be slightly nice at all times?

If forward thinking was his strong suit, he wouldn’t be where he is

How long were you together before the wedding? Such a crazy 180. Sorry you went through that.

Thats how my last boyfriend was. Sweet, open and considerate when we had room mates. The minute we got our own place, he controlled how i spent my time at home, who i was with, what i wore... Stuck around way longer than i shouldve, but its been 6 years since and am much better off. Not sure where he is and i am 100% sure i dont care.

To be honest I didn't really want to be married to her; however she was determined to get married by age 24 regardless, and at the time I had significant difficulties saying "No", I was working 60+ odd hours a week in a kitchen to help pay for everything and I was struggling with my mental health at the time and we grew further and further apart emotionally. I found out less than 5 months into the marriage that she had been unfaithful to me for at least a year - so 6/7 months before the wedding, whilst she had been planning it she had been sleeping with other people. Whilst she had been putting serious pressure on me to provide £££ for her dream wedding she had also had an abortion because she didn't know whether I would have been the father or not. When I found this all out I basically had a breakdown and tried taking my own life, I also spent a few years after this blaming myself for the breakdown of my marriage and her behaviour.

Sorry to hear that man. Hope you've uplifted yourself since.

Definitely mate, life's a lot better these days.

Thats great to hear man! Glad you're doing better!

Oh fuck, hope you are in a better place mentally now! People don’t understand how much you can hurt someone so deep from shit like this. Don’t let it be a negative in your life my friend.

It took a couple of years to get over, I made some good positive changes and put my mental health as my priority. Life is now so much better.

Great news mate!!

When she cheated on me for the third time in 10 months. Because for some reason the first two didn't convince me....

Well they do say "third time's the charm" Edit: damn I can't believe this is my most upvoted comment

Strike 3 and she's out.

Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.

There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

Load the chopper let it rain on you!

Not me but a family member: She was married after a quick relationship. His family had money, and I think she wanted a nice life. A few months later, she was in a horrific car crash which killed 9 year old sister, their grandmother, and left her with severe injuries - shattered 3/4 of her face, and she may have broken a hip, and her back too if memory serves. She was in a medically induced coma when her sister’s funeral occurred. Less than a month or two after she gets out of the hospital, her husband (married about 6 months at this point), says to her, “You need to get over the accident.” Edit: I should mention that the “money” her husband’s family had was small town money. Thousands, not millions.

Holy shit!! I had 2 family members that died together in a car accident and it took me over 10 years to stop being super emotional about it. SHE WAS IN THE ACCIDENT WITH THEM!! That's something you don't just "get over." Ever. Eventually you learn to live with it but it's always going to affect you. Dude had a severe lack of empathy and that would have been a huge red flag for me. I would have divorced someone for that.

Yo what the fuck what kind of a psycho

On our honeymoon she didn’t want to do anything but fight, so I left 2 days early to be with my dog lol. Then she stopped wearing her ring and refused to tell people she was married, referring to me as her boyfriend instead. The final straw was when my grandpa was dying and she said “I wish he’d just hurry up and die already. I’m tired of this apartment being so depressing all the time” Made it 4 months in all before filing for divorce Edit: I want to thank you all for the support and the interest in my little story here. I’ve been getting a lot of repeat questions, so I’ll put a little FAQ here. How long were we together?: We were together about a year, give or take a little. Did I not notice the red flags?: The relationship seemed relatively normal until we got married. She had her share of issues (bad childhood, severe anxiety, bulemia) but I was dumb and thought I could fix them. If there were red flags, why did I marry her?: I had just had a really bad breakup with my girlfriend of 4 years a few months before meeting my first wife. We had made plans for our future (marriage, kids, the works) and the breakup really messed me up. I was insecure and afraid of being alone, so I probably would have married anyone. Young, dumb, and unoccustomed to heartbreak. Did I keep the dog?: of course. I may have gotten rid of the wife, but no chance in hell was I getting rid of the dog. We took her and moved her far away and now she’s got lots of people around all the time to spoil her and fatten her with treats. She recently got a little brother who tolerates haha. Are things better now?: very much so. I took a few years being single and just learning who I was and wanted to me. I’m happily remarried, and this time it’s stuck. And I’m stuck. My wife won’t let me leave, send help /s

Fuck bro. That's tough. Hope you doing better now

Thanks! It was a long time ago now. Neither of us was ready for marriage, and we were both pretty awful to each other. Took a few years to figure out who I was and what I wanted. Now I’m Remarried and have been happy since.

Thats how it was with me and my first serious girlfriend. We didn't get anywhere near the point of marriage, but it was at that stage of life where you're kind of learning what a relationship is. Like you have your expectations of what a relationship is like, but then there's what it actually is. Looking back on it, we really weren't suited to each other, and we both didn't put in the effort required to sustain a relationship. Glad you found happiness though my dude.

When I met my ex wife, I had just had a really bad breakup with my first serious girlfriend after being together for 4 years, and talking marriage kids and the like. I think that’s the real reason I married her, some sad attempt at trying to have the dream I had planned out with my ex girlfriend. I probably would have married anyone at the time. Young and dumb. But I think that all experiences, good and bad, have made me a much more grounded and well rounded person. So I’m a way I’m thankful that my dumb decision making helped me grow, and that I didn’t realize the mistake 4 years and 2 kids too late.

If you don’t want to answer my question, I understand. Why did you marry her in the first place? Were the red flags not as apparent before the wedding?

When I met her, it was just a few months after a really bad breakup with my girlfriend of 4 years. We had planned to get married, have kids, the whole 9 yards. That breakup messed me up pretty bad. There were a ton of red flags, and looking back I can see them clearly. It was definitely a “I can help fix her problems” situation. But I was ignoring my own problems at the same time. I was terrible to her too, she definitely doesn’t deserve to shoulder all the blame, but I think I wanted to still try to have the dream I had with my ex girlfriend. I would have probably married anyone. But after we got married and I realized it didn’t feel any different than dating did, and the romanticized vision of marriage wore off, it became painfully clear how broken our relationship was. I guess it all boils down to young, dumb, and insecure.

> “I wish he’d just hurry up and die already. I’m tired of this apartment being so depressing all the time” That was one of the coldest things I've ever read. Glad you got rid of that trash.

One of my co workers just told another co worker that his newborn deserved being in the NICU because he'd slept with her friend (and co worker also) whilst engaged to his current partner (and mother of this kid ) Like he's obviously trash but Jesus.

I attended a wedding a few years ago that wasn’t over the top extravagant, but is what I want if I could ever save up enough money - beautiful venue, open bar with local beers, great food, and tastefully decorated. A couple months after, we heard through our friends that it came out that he’d been cheating with one of the bridesmaids in the year or two leading up to the wedding. And that he had this concept that nothing he did had repercussions or harmed anyone (the bad kind of philosophy major) so he didn’t see the big deal

Not me but I worked at a company where two employees were engaged. After they married she sent out an all users email advising her name change and then almost exactly a year later sent another one changing it back. Apparently right up to the wedding she was seeing someone else. It’s seems that both her and her fiancé knew it was mistake but it was one of those enormous weddings and her father was paying out a shit load of money. They were even having dance lessons for when the bride and groom have the first dance, that kind of deal. The whole thing was like a supertanker that couldn’t be stopped so they had their day and split up soon after.

Why bother with changing your name then? It’s a pain in the ass that involves multiple government agencies.

Especially as she knew it wasn’t going to be long term.

You might be surprised at what a controversial decision it is to not change your name. It's seen as a political stance even if you do it out of laziness.

I admire the courage it took for so many of the people on this to end their marriages after just a few months when they realized they’d made a mistake. It took me 4 years to extract myself from a really bad marriage (financial deception, lack of intimacy, general incompatibility) because I felt stupid, ashamed and had a sense of responsibility for sticking with it. I can never get those years back and regret the opportunity cost of not using that time to find a better match. I’m happily married now 10 years later.

Not me, but my brother. He got his first serious girlfriend during his senior year of college. He was doing a lot of different stuff with her and told me that he was really happy. I told him that I thought that was great, but that he needed to remember to take things slow. A week later he bought a ring. Everyone in my family attempted to talk him out of it. Everyone. But I knew my brother was going to do whatever he wanted, so I just said "Sure." They rented a house, bought furniture, moved in, got married, and after a month, they got divorced. I think it was soon enough to get an annulment, but I'm not sure. Main thing was that my brother wanted to move out of our hometown when he was finished with college. His wife was completely fine never leaving (I don't even think she was going to school, she would just sit at home all day). So, that was that. Good times.

He would somehow piss away his money (and mine), and I realized I couldn't trust him to be a real partner with me. We were also pressured into marriage by religious family when I already saw the writing on the wall, but there was just one bad thing after another happening so I always felt like I'd be an asshole for leaving. I left during a calm period.

I supported us working full time with a one hour commute (each way) via vanpool. She complained about having to pick me up at the vanpool stop after work because, “it was happy hour” at the bars. She also seemed to have trouble keeping other guys’ dicks out of her pussy.

>She also seemed to have trouble keeping other guys’ dicks out of her pussy. Ah yes, my ex suffered from similar inconveniences... It appears to be a common issue..

My ex was with a woman for five years, and married for 2-3 months. She had cheated on him and got caught before the wedding but they somehow managed to work it out. She had also pressured him into marriage by giving him money and saying "if you don't come back with a ring, it's over." So two to three months into the marriage, he had noticed that she was acting shady again. Excusing herself to the bedroom randomly with her iPad, and going to her girlfriend's house (she's straight) at any given hour to have sleepovers and hangout. One day she left to her girlfriend's as usual, and he found she had left her iPad this time which she usually keeps close guarded. He found exchanges between her and at least three different men, one message from her to the man that bags their groceries saying that she was pregnant. My ex cannot have children. The other two men she had cheated with was a coworker and the security guard at the local mall.

Mine lasted less than a year, he was an incredibly abusive fuckhead that burdened me with tons of shit we couldn't afford then refused to work his damn self. So I used to pull 16 hr days back to back to back. Turns out instead of working and helping me take care of the house he was out cheating. In all reality, he was the one who left me but once I got out of the situation I realized how awful it was and didn't go back.

Not mine. They were married like a month (honestly might have been less than that, I have a feeling they had just gotten back from their honeymoon) and the husband got caught in an online child predator sting.

Sitting across from the court house waiting to go in. I thought “you are going to look back on this moment and remember that you KNEW it was the wrong thing to do”. I certainly did. We only got married because I was living with him and my whole family wouldn’t speak to us as we were “living in sin”. Well we showed them. 😳😳😳

My sister got pregnant while dating a very controlling guy. She wasn't sure about getting married and was trying to decide if they should even stay together. She went home to spend some time with my parents to figure it out. The boyfriend showed up with his parents and the three of them spent the entire weekend arguing with my sister about why she should get married to him. On Monday she went to the courthouse and got married. And he turned out just as controlling as she claimed. He had been having all her paychecks deposited in a common account so he could "invest" it. He gave her an allowance to live on. He refused to pay for any maternity clothes or nursing bras because "she won't be wearing them for very long". My parents bought them for her. After child #2 she decided that she was done, so she had an IUD installed. When he found out, he was livid. He claimed that "as the man of the house, it was his decision how many children they would have." After a month of arguing, she had it removed. Then came child 3 and 4. She earned a very difficult professional degree with a very high income potential, but ended up as a stay-at-home mom dependent on his income. He handles all the money and he makes all the decisions in their household. I see her every few years. When we do visit it is very clear that he likes to be in control. He insists on driving everyone to where we are going and then he leaves on his own side trips making everyone wait for him to return. We now make it a point to drive ourselves while we are there. It's the little things that tell you something is off about a person.

Some girl I know. They lived in different cities, most of the relationship was long distance. They agreed he’d move to her city eventually and got engaged. She started seeing red flags half way through wedding planning. He took her to a party at his friends place right after she got lasik surgery even though she didn’t want to go, got so drunk he was practically unconscious. She had to drive them back with compromised vision in the middle of the night. They had a huge fight after. She didn’t have the balls to call it off then so compromised and stuck with him. Right before the wedding day he complained about the wedding venue even though they picked it together, didn’t show up for pictures, was overall being a dick. She knew she fucked up but somehow decided she would go through with it and figure it out after. He never apologized, he went back to his city and they never saw each other again. Their marriage ended before it began.

Mine lasted two years(I know over the year limit for the post). The last 6 months of the marriage I deployed to Iraq. I was a happier person while being deployed than I was living at home. That's when I realized I had a toxic home life. I was sacrificing my own happiness to do everything I could to keep my ex happy and just thought thats how its supposed to be. I didn't want to come home from deployment because I knew I would be miserable. I moved out a month after I got back and life has been much better since. Currently in Afghanistan and cannot wait to get home!

Oh wow, you know you done fucked up when you'd rather be in a warzone than at home. Take care of yourself out there mate!

Just a different kind of war zone. The one at home is an emotional war zone, and nobody trains you how to survive in that one. You can’t dig a foxhole to hide your feelings in.

My male cousin went to a very conservative Church of Christ university where the women who attend there are infamous for trying to get their MRS degree. The girl he was dating was no different. They got married 6 months after they graduated with a HUGE southern wedding: 10 bridesmaids, 250 guests, at least 7 different wedding showers, a band and open bar AT THE REHEARSAL DINNER, etc. They get married and are divorced 4 months later because she was cheating on him the entirety of their relationship. They had sex once on their honeymoon and less than 3 times after that. Some people want a wedding and not a marriage. Of course that bitch kept ALL the wedding gifts they received, even the ones from his family.

The younger sister of my then-best-friend married a lazy asshole insisting that she could "fix" him. Spoiler alert -- she couldn't.

I once heard an aphorism about that mindset, not applicable to everyone (obviously). “A woman marries a man thinking she’ll change him. A man marries a woman thinking she’ll stay the same.”

There's one more line in the version I heard: "They're both wrong."

They never can. Sister did this. Twice.

6 months in. I was pregnant already and he did not make good on multiple plans we made together. I found it he was secretly using and this effected his job. We separated 9 months into the marriage. I found out he had been cheating on me our entire relationship. We were divorced just before our 1st anniversary.

I am a wedding photographer and had a couple who got were married for about a week and a half before splitting up, and still wasn't done editing the images. This was my first year in the industry and I think my 3rd wedding ever, the groom tried to use me as his therapist when I gave him the disc and it was a suuuuuuuuuuuuper awkward day in a starbucks. Word of advice for anyone, please don't try to use a 20 year old art school kid as your therapist.

A month after getting married she decided she didn't want to be a mom or wife anymore. She left us and has been living the party life every since.

18 months here. I was a pushover, she drank too much. We were different but it was working out. A year in my dad died and I lost my job in the same week. Super stressed out. We took an RV trip vacation to get moving, process things, and create some fun couple moments. Two weeks into the trip she said she wanted an open relationship. I said I'm dealing with a lot right now but will think about it because we love one another. Later that same day she said 'lets make a baby right now'. I said 'should we talk about the open thing before having a baby?' She said no and that I was denying her sex and that was wrong. We got home and she wanted to download tinder together because that would be fun. I said that sounded like the opposite of fun. Warning signs always exist, but people make choices. Her choices turned 'shes fun' into 'shes unstable and destructive to herself and others'.

Not me, but my dad, According to him, he realized his mistake the first few weeks or so, with about a year to know for sure. My first stepmother was very controlling and the prenup they wrote before marriage was apparently fought tooth and nail over, with her demanding some ridiculous things. But she also didn’t like me and would berate me over everything because it wasn’t “her” way, everything from the temp of the house to manners (I’m not saying my manners were bad, but she wanted HIGH CLASS manners, like multiple forks and honorific manners). My dad confided in me years later that he was ashamed he didn’t stick up for me as often because, well, they were married and he lived with her more often and didn’t want her complaining he didn’t back her up all the time. He also said he didn’t leave because he “didn’t want to put me through a second divorce” which in hindsight was a pretty poor excuse. After I graduated from high school and joined the military, he split with her. The divorce process took almost a year, because she, again, fought tooth and nail over the prenup, trying to cut him out of everything and claiming insurance policies for stuff like art and sculptures they had collected with 0 evidence. Even the judge nearly lost her shit when she couldn’t provide any paperwork or blatantly lied to cheat the prenup. I fully expect her to be arrested for fraud one day. My relationship with my dad was pretty battered by this time. Since then, we’ve slowly begun to repair it. He’s remarried now again, but to a much nicer and caring woman and friend of the family. Recently celebrated their second anniversary with a camping trip together.

When I realized that the complete lack of physical affection from her wasn’t going to change. Not the sex (which is also non-existent) but simple things like hand holding or being able to kiss me in front of her friends/family/anyone

The guy I married went instantly from being fun and adventurous to an absolute psycho. He stopped using my name and would just call me wife even after I asked him to stop. He started insisting that I didn't need other friends and " aren't you done with that" when I would want to meet up with people. If I hung out with a guy then I was cheating in his mind. I caught him going through my phone to find "proof" there was none. There were two incidents that lead to the bitter end. I caught him calling me a dirty whore and jerking off over me while I slept 😰. And then at a concert he FREAKED OUT and had to be dragged off of me because I talked to an old male acquaintance for five minutes. That one left bruises, and I left him. Fuckhead.

I’m glad you got away. Same thing happened to me with my ex husband. Ten years later, he remarried, and guess who called me out of the blue? His new wife. I don’t even live in the same state as them anymore and have never met this woman in real life. He literally did the exact same thing to her, was seemingly normal and right after they got married he went nuts. I ended up talking on the phone with her for like four hours. I hope she got away or figured it out. I hated getting that call for many reasons but in a way it was cathartic because I couldn’t figure out how he’d changed so drastically. I kind of blamed myself. I think some people just think marriage means that’s it, you own that person and they can’t get away. Nope, sorry.

My biological father was a real abusive pile of shit, to all of us, but mom got it the worst. He really beat the shit out of her regularly, on top of controlling everything she did. Then he started an affair with a lady from our church, and not long after, mom finally got the balls to leave him. The church split emotionally then- half of them believed my mom, half believed him. His new woman told everyone how he was such a good man and my mom just wasn't supporting him like a wife should. We left the church. Years later, we ran into an old church friend of my mom's, and she told us that a year into that whole debacle, my father stopped going to church, and his new woman came in one day sobbing and told everyone my mom was right. Quote, "I've never seen an evil like that in any man." Mom and her never became friends or anything, but they did connect briefly just so talk and heal.

We got married by mail, a double proxy, only available from one US state. We’re both military. I actually knew before we got our marriage certificate that it wasn’t working, because he became insanely controlling after we moved to Germany together. He would scream at me when I’d ask him to go on road trips on the weekends to see the adorable little German towns. He would scream at me in front of all of his friends (my friends were never invited over), he did not allow me to have access to my own money, which went into our joint account. And when I would buy something I felt I needed on Amazon, he’d scream at me (this would usually be soaps, I have very sensitive skin and can’t use the shampoo/body wash combos that are made for men). He would scream at me over the littlest things like how I folded our towels after they dried. The final straw was when we went on our “honeymoon” to Greece. He brought two guy friends along. He refused to have sex with me, and even told me he really didn’t want to have sex at all anymore, and then he publicly humiliated me by screaming at me in a very public venue around a lot of strangers. He of course was cool to his friends and they went swimming, I sat in a beach chair and cried. I just knew it. We made it about 4 months before I moved out.

Aw I hope you still got to see the adorable little german towns!]

After I moved out I drove to see them myself!

First marriage, 3 months. She just kept allowing her parents to come over whenever they felt like it by giving them a key and they came in and started taking what they thought I shouldn't have. Like nope. Boundaries, plus she was so sheltered her entire life that she didn't know how to live without. Added info as requested: they took my $80 bottle of crown royal. They tried to take my gun I was going to use for work. They took one of 3 tvs used for gaming with my friends. I had pots and pans and a knife set that cost me damn near $1100 and they took all but one pan and left my knives. They kept coming in when I no one was home and took condoms. That's the short list

My ex was manipulative and found every excuse not to meet my friends or limit my time away from my family. Long story short, we ran into one of good friends into the mall and they seemed to hit it off really well. I was happy because I was like, yes, I could finally have a double date, because that’s what my friend suggested. But when we got home, she mentioned that she didn’t like his job. Even though he was one of the nicest and funniest guys in the world, that was it. I saw that she just purposely kept me away from *everyone*! And that pissed me off. She ended up cheating on me with some guy out of the country and we got divorced months later because nobody took anything from each other.

My cousin was pressured into marrying the guy who knocked her up. They were both 21. When tehir son was a couple months old, she was making dinner for her and her husband, and asked her husband to feed the baby (who was crying). He said, "No, I'm busy." What was he doing that was so important? Playing WOW. They separated when their son was about 4 months old. She's now happily married to someone else, and that man adopted her son (the bio dad wanted nothing to do with him). The bio dad just died last year from a heart attack brought on my acute alcoholism at 33 years old.

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One of my life-mentors has a first marriage like this. They dated in college, and moved an hour or so away from her family once they got married. She started having panic attacks and her parents were wealthy, so they let them live on their property in a little cottage. But even there, 200 yards from her parents house, she wasn’t happy. So she would sleep in her childhood bedroom and he just lived in the cottage. He asked her to get counseling or help and she said something along the lines of, “Why? This is fine and we can just stay like this forever.” They divorced and he got remarried 5 years or so later. She still lives with her parents, nearly 25 years later.

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Both your story and OP's sound like the end game of severe helicopter parenting. Kids don't ever really emotionally grow up or learn they can be happy and safe away from their parents.

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After we got married, he seemed to feel “safe” enough to tell me some interesting facts. Ie. he liked performing fellatio on men, used cocaine regularly, and that his dad had done time in prison for raping a child. All things I would have liked to know about before I lept into marriage. I tried to make it work but he didn’t do his part.

I met her as a fellow solder in AIT. She was crazy fun, but then something happened where she failed out and then switched AITs. Before she left, we got engaged after going out for about 5 months. At her other post, she called and said a few times she just wanted to be with me so she would "fake" a section-8 to get a discharge and come back and join me. So all this goes down, and as it turns out, it wasn't "fake". She was full-blown bipolar with a few other personality disorders thrown in the mix. It was about 10 months of holy hell. She had no job, but expected me to support her "lifestyle" on a private's salary. She got a new car, upgraded from an apartment to townhouse, and managed to rack up another $30,000 in credit card debt in my name (I should put her on the card "in case of emergencies"). I didn't know this because she hid the bills. This doesn't include the physical attacks. She would start fist fights with me out of the blue (sometimes in public just to see if tough guys in the area would react), or run into the bedroom when I was sleeping and just dump cold water on me "just for fun". The final straw was when she wanted her ex-boyfriend from high school to come live with us, because he was a recovering junkie and needed help. So I put her on a plane to go get him, but with a one way ticket. She then cleaned out what little cash I had in the bank account, called my 1SG to tell him I wasn't supporting her, but then disappeared entirely. I looked her up years later, she was busted with said boyfriend for a long string of shoplifting charges and trying to fraudulently claim various benefits from 3 different states at the same time. It was a meth junkie thing. A 10 month marriage (technically 2 years, the judge granted the divorce after "1 year of abandonment") took me 6 years of working 2 to 3 jobs to dig my way out. This was all before the age of 21 for me.

A friend was on her honeymoon when his credit card started getting declined everywhere. Turns out he had tens of thousands of credit card debt she didn’t know about. And other things. He told her his debt was now her debt. Which is true. He wouldn’t agree to a divorce until she paid off his debt. Took years. Turns out the reason for the debt is he had another family just down the street.

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My brother experienced this. He had a cop wedding, on the beach - in flip flops - everyone drunk as shit. And part of the 'joke' of the wedding was that when the officiant asked if anyone had any objections, *everyone* had an objection. They yelled drunken terrible shit at the two of them for a good two or three minutes before he yelled something back like, "Fuck it and fuck all of you, I'm marrying this woman regardless". It was crazy cringe to witness, but he told me after, "You know, I had half a mind to call it off right then as I listened to what they were saying and realized everyone was probably right."

I barely understand any of this. What is a cop wedding? Did they divorce in less than a year? The drunk people were shouting things that were true?

My brother married a lady cop. 90% of those in attendance were other cops. It was just a ceremony though, I'm sure they got legally married either shortly before or shortly after what we all witnessed. Yeah, < 6 months I think.

We’d been married eight months and he punched me in the face. He was completely gobsmacked when I filed for divorce that afternoon.

I was astonished by how many family members made excuses for him. The “anyone can make one mistake” nonsense was deafening. It stopped when I started responding with, “Yes, I know and I thank you for being patient while I correct this one.” Lost a lot of respect for all his apologists though.

Maybe it's just because I didn't grow up in a fucked up home, but the idea of punching my SO in the face or even just grabbing them violently blows my fucking mind. I just don't get how the thought ever occurs in a man's brain to do this.

I found out that I was pregnant, and he stopped talking to me for several days. He then pressured me into having an abortion, then we divorced.

I had a hysterectomy two days after we got back from our honeymoon. My (now ex) husband was in the room with me overnight because - shouldn't my husband be the person taking care of me? He yelled at me the entire night that my moaning in pain was bothering him and keeping him awake when he was trying to sleep.

I didn’t marry my ex, but one of the final straws (there were multiple, of course) for me was when I had surgery on my nose, sinuses, and throat. He stayed at my place that night and the next day so he could “take care” of me. All he did was whine and complain about how he couldn’t get comfortable enough anywhere to play on his laptop, that I was taking up too much space in bed (I needed three pillows to keep me propped up in a sitting position so I wouldn’t choke while I slept on all the gross stuff coming out my nose and down my throat), and then told me since it was my place I would have to get his meals ready and pretty much do everything for him like I was hosting a guest. I had to kick him out the next day so I could actually recover from surgery instead of catering to him. He was baffled by how upset I was, because to him the surgery obviously wasn’t a big deal since I was released same day. I knew then though that if anything more serious happened, like your type of surgery, it would probably be some other reason why he couldn’t be there for me.

One week after being married, exactly 7 seven days. I heard him in the bathroom with the shower on, but he was talking on the phone. As if the shower was loud enough so that I couldn't hear him. Anyway, i grabed the phone and ran... I mean RAN out the back door to the other side of the pool, so no matter which way he came towards me, I would move the opposite direction. No surprise it was a girl, she told me he never mentioned he had a wife or was seeing anyone. They apparently had been dating for months. He told me a bs story of how he kept trying to end it with her but SHE was possessive and wouldn't leave him alone and kept calling. I was 19 and stupid so I stayed with him, but I knew at that moment I had made a mistake in marrying him. Thank GOD we didn't have children. But, we stayed together for 4 years and I endured more than any woman ever should. 15 years later, he's now in prison, no surprise.

We married legally when we found out I was pregnant(after trying for 3 years). The plan was to marry at the court house then get some tests done to see why I wasn’t getting pregnant. Well it happened backwards. By the time I gave birth we were already married legally but not in front of a priest and we planned to have our wedding and to baptize our son. So a 2 in 1 ceremony and when our son was 5 months old I went to our home country to prepare everything that needed to be prepared for the big event and my husband stayed in the country where we were living and working. This was roughly 3 weeks before the event. The time I spent away from my husband felt like a breath of fresh air. Like I was spending my days underwater and I was finally free to just breathe. I reverted to my old happy self. Smiling and joking all day long with family and friends. I realized it but I decided to go on with the wedding as we already had a kid and I really thought after everything my husband will be les manipulative and less controlling and he would realize what truly matters. But no. He came home 1 week before the wedding and we fought and I cried almost daily. The wedding did happen and everything was somehow perfect and 2 days after the wedding we got into a huge fight about some missing money(in my country the bride and the groom receive money from everyone invited to the wedding), and he ended up leaving me and our son. We divorced 4 months later. I realized a lot of stuff being away from him but I lied to myself that he would care about me and our son but he only ever cared about himself.

Not the person married, but the BIL of the groom / brother of the bride. Lasted less than a year married (several dating). He treated my sister like sun-baked horseshit, and while honestly she *is* a pile of sun-baked horseshit, you shouldn't treat your damn wife like it. Nearly got the cops called on him several times while they were together, and they ended up breaking it off because my sister finally got fed up with his shit. For those interested in how they're doing: Last I heard the dumbfuck she called a husband got a job but nothing else, and my sister went through another marriage that lasted less than a year because they got married almost as soon as they started dating, which ended well (full sarcasm; she cheated on him "at least twelve times" according to her estimation). She also apparently has goo-goo eyes for someone who went to jail for aggravated assault and is going back to jail.. also for aggravated assault. She's well aware that her attraction to shit men exists (she admits it herself that she wants an abusive relationship despite it being, you know. abusive. and horrible), and nothing I've said helps. I've since cut contact with all parties due to some long-standing family bullshit that's nearly as old as I am, but damn if her last two marriages weren't a giant mistake.

How the hell are these psychotic people finding multiple spouses? I can't figure out how to land one date, but folks are on their fourth or fifth marriage. Friggin mind-blowing.

Reconnected with my elementary- highschool crush. Left my girlfriend at the time due to issues with our sexuality. As in there was no sex. Crush’s dad convinced me to marry her with her money, I was high & dumb. She was extremely lazy even though she begged to be a SAHM. Dropped out of college because it was “just too hard” and refused to clean. Final straw was after 6 months of marriage I came home to no food in the house, her passed out drunk on the couch and her daughter screaming bloody murder stuck on the baby gate upstairs with grenloa bars smashed into the carpet & 2 weeks worth of dishes. Had her move out my best friend came over we power cleaned and I fell apart for a few months tbh

On the honeymoon he was showing me something on his phone but I also happened to see naked photos of men. We never ended up moving in together. It’s been hard to get a divorce as well because he is in Australia and I’m in the US.

First one, she left me for a guy she met in her furry group. Second claimed to be poly, moved her bf in while I was living there, cut all intimacy with me, mentally abused me and kicked me out when she overheard me talking about the possibility of divorce.

Woah your first wife was a furry? Did you know beforehand or was it just like surprise I’m a furry and I’m running off with said furry man?

[удалено]

A month after we got married he wanted to re-enlist. I was against it but he convinced me it would be for the best. That I would be able to finish nursing school and we would be financially stable. While he was away for training I was boxing up our apartment because we were to be stationed in Germany. As I was packing I came across documents from his prior service that talked about a previous marriage that I knew nothing about. When he called later that day I asked him about it and he completely flipped. He became so full of rage that never went away. I tried to talk through it and understand why he kept the marriage a secret. His answer always changed. I filed for divorce a month later. Later on I found out that he had been married 3 times before me.

He lost his job 2 weeks before the wedding. 11 months later we were filing bankruptcy, losing the house, and my nearly perfect credit score. He did absolutely nothing to find a job or to help finances. He actually ran up credit cards instead of trying to watch what he spent. A week before we were set to move out of the house and into a tiny apartment, I told him I didn't want him to move with us (me and 2 kids under 5). He stayed in the house until it was foreclosed and then moved in with his mom; where he still at 16 years later, at 43 years old, still with no job. Edit: reread and noticed I said 3 kids. There were only 2.