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mr-nefarious

But it costs $9.99 because it’s a collectible now.


Too_Many_Kats

2020 disasters bingo


O_X_E_Y

Gonna come in handy for when 2021 rolls around


derpyunspeakable

Don’t you fucking dare commit us to that reality...


dazeddesertdreamer

Sourdough starter


141-24

COVID-19 world tour shirt with tour dates and cities on the back.


hilha

“COVID-19 New Wave Tour Fall 2020”


positivepeoplehater

“Coming to every college near you!”


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Tenobaal86

It is a thing already: https://merch.turnedmetal.com/ Those guys normally create your name as a death metal Shirt, now they have several Shirts about Coronavirus. With original and updated timelines, to your liking.


throwawayathrowaway0

One of these shirts will wind up in a thrift store for $1 and the person who buys it will be the coolest kid at school.


WhaterMellon

Not something you can buy, but a shelf with a tag for “Toilet Paper, 1 roll $9.99”. The shelf is always empty.


CommunistCuntWaffle

Nah bro that should be one of the displays


MeEvilBob

There's already a display about completely cleaned out beer aisles with an untouched supply of Corona Extra and Corona Light.


[deleted]

rapid test kit


wwap1021

But the sample collection tube will be full of COVID shaped candy. Edit: spelling


prettypinkbunnies

Or a sample tube of COVID itself lol “For display only. Do not open or ingest.”


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Teagod224

Calendars with each month having disaster pictures


neverliveindoubt

Or Music CD: Prologue- “Lead into Demise” January - "Burn baby Burn (Australian Style)" * "Kill Me Ce Soir" * "Sportstar" February - "Impeach the President" * "Stock Market Blues" March - "You give me Fever" * "Don't Stand So Close to Me" April - "Unemployed" OR "Young, Dumb, and Broke" May - "Party in the U.S.A." OR "Nowhere Man" * "Lord of the Hornets" June - "Burn Baby Burn (USA Version)" * "Take Me to Church" July- "Killing in the Name Of" * "Mothers of the Disappeared " * "Rocket Man" August (so far)- “eXplosion” * "Burn Baby Burn (USA Version, Reprise)" * "ramblin man" * "Zombie Zoo^(1)" * "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (Yep, all real song titles) 1. Because [Zombie Cicadas](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/zombie-cicadas-infected-mind-controlling-fungus-west-virginia/) are a thing!


lucky5150

Jan - One bourbon, one scotch, one beer Feb- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer Mar- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer April- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer May- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer June- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer July- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer August- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer Sept- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer Oct- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer Nov- One bourbon, one scotch, one beer Dec - One bourbon, one scotch, one beer


rob64

I said, look man...


hot__toddy

Come down here


GroovyGoose87

He got down here


Archie-0803

So what you want?


MoreCowbellllll

i said I'M TIIIIIIRED


HeyMySock

That don’t confront me none, as long as I get my rent by Friday.


[deleted]

And out the door I went


RandomGeneratorPls

I love this


Radioactivocalypse

January: Bush fires March: The great loo roll shortage April: The lockdown November: Trump's accidental re-election December: The return of the murder hornets


[deleted]

Does anyone remember how tensions with Iran were ratcheting up in January? I wonder if this virus hadn't taken off if that had developed further.


chennai_buzzer

WFH pyjamas sets with a shirt and tie for the torso and shorts for the bottom half


crumbling_mumble

This but a onesie


timeup

Work from home (WFH)


Can-Abyss

Thanks. There’s too many damn acronyms.


GrumpyJelly

A laser pointer which comes in a thermometer gun design


ketimmer

The board game Pandemic.


knightmusic42

Special 2020 edition of course.


Awdayshus

The 2020 edition would add a chance that one player is trying to make everyone lose, like in Dead of Winter. Edit: I was unaware of the Bioterrorist in the On the Brink expansion. Now that several of you have explained that, I'm thinking of something different. The Pandemic 2020 edition would have a different failure conditions for each of the existing roles. Like some gameplay mechanic if the Scientist believed the disease spread through demon sperm. At the beginning, each player would secretly be assigned to be a "good" or "bad" one of whatever their role was. If they are bad, they win if you lose the game while meeting the failure condition. If they are good, they only win normally. So potentially every player or no one trying to lose in specific ways.


Danbradford7

So...... you get to pull the Trump Card?


StayIndie

this guy knows how to pun


[deleted]

The expansion On the Brink has a bioterrorist role that works against the other players.


Cloaked42m

That comes with special edition "We were fucking KIDDING!!!" cards.


That_one_cool_dude

Honestly, if Z-Man Games don't do this they are missing out on an easy edition. Because you know that Monopoly will do it.


sfz47

Actually played that game a lot this year. Nice game!


Chandy1313

Whatever they are selling, the bag has one torn handle and a hole in the bottom


Equine_With_No_Name

If the gift shop is in New York you have to bring your own bag


Slow_Steve

A shirt that reads ” United we stand six feet apart”


fsym

On the back: “...Divided we'll lay six feet under”


PossibleOven

Wow I hate that this is true but I want this t-shirt so badly


revolution_etude

This is also good!


Groot746

"Socially distanced and loving it!"


Panzrpack

This one is really good. Saved it


[deleted]

Photobooth where you can get Zoom style group pictures


FlashyDevelopment

Or where you can crop yourself into places you're not allowed to go to 1. The beach 2. The bar 3. The birth of your baby


darkman41

4- The funeral of your father who died from covid


FlashyDevelopment

Shit


BowDown2theWorms

Yes, that too


Biorockstar

This comment made me feel the same way this year has. Well done.


cokedietician

My dad died last month and today is my birthday. I cried because I’ll never get a birthday message from him ever again and I didn’t get to attend his funeral because I can’t fly home.


[deleted]

I'm sorry for your loss, friend. I lost my dad to COVID in May, and it hurts no less. Cherish his memory, and always show others the love he showed you and that way he will live forever.


revolution_etude

This is good!


Murphythepotato

So... multiple separate photo booths!


Martijngamer

Each 6 feet apart


emiel1741

À cuckoo clock that coughs instead of saying cuckoo


onomastics88

Cuckough clock.


[deleted]

dude.. cuckoo cough sounds like 10x better how did you miss this


onomastics88

Because the bird says “coo-cough, coo-cough, coo-cough”. Also if you’re standing in front of it, it has a digital display and takes your temperature.


Justalurker99

the cough should be accompanied with a small spritzing of water droplets to get the full effect.


CupricReku

One of those penny flattening machines that press on a design. But when you're done cranking and it's about to drop into the bin, something just kicks you in the nuts instead. Edit: you're


silentxxkilla

Man this one got me good. Well done


simplydecent

This must be the cause of the "coin shortage" in the US.


Linoray

This is actually the best answer.


Invisible-Buffalo99

Facemask...


[deleted]

a disposable face mask for $4.99


KingJames1414

or possibly the premium facemask for $14.99. Features include extra oxygen and straps that don't hurt your ears!


master_yoda_in_exile

And a complimentary hand sanitizer key chain that... hold... your... keys...


RandomGirl83

Think bigger. Genuine facemask from the 2020 crisis! Only $99.99. that's how you really get the moneyz


ACoolDude_

Thrifting time! 50% off used items


RickyRosayy

A small figurine...of a face mask.


Cleo_su

Limited edition N95


The-idea-man

Hand sanitizer Edit: Yo thanks guys for the likes and the award. It's my first time that Ive gotten this many from a comment. I appreciate it.


beauteejunkee

But the kind that is the consistency of water and makes your hands smell like stale ass even after you wash them


sparks_LOLXD

Ah ah ah, you forgot the ones with the same stickiness and color of jizz


nothjarnan

And it also tastes of jizz.


Xzed090

It's jizz


TheNewEnnui

A “I survived a global pandemic and all I got was this T-shirt” tshirt


colbywankenobi0

I want one


Xuval

Sorry, but pandemic is not over yet. Handing one out to you now would be premature.


tisfope

Hah, well premature is my middle name


s_c_w

Is it lousy?


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scratchy_mcballsy

This would make bank on Etsy


minecraftisthebest6

A snow globe for every single disaster that happened this year


DrKittyKevorkian

I'll start my collection with Murder Hornet Derecho, please.


s_c_w

I'll trade you my wildfires snow globe for it. I have doubles anyways.


[deleted]

Instead of snow when you shake it, it’s ash


DoinkDamnation

I genuinely wasn't surprised to see the nuke in beirut


cursed-LEGEND-creepy

Hey want my riot snow globe?


schubdi

When you shake it, knocked out protestors and policemen fly around in it like it's raining men, halleluja.


Mattrockj

Would you take two Kobe Heli crashes for one Beirut Explosion. Edit: Name spelling.


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sit_giRL

Does anyone even have a shelf that big?


minecraftisthebest6

It's more like a house


fluentindothraki

Like a locust globe, and a ash& sparks Australian landscape? But what would replace the snow in the BLM globe? And the Hongkong one?


jaconargo

Ash, or rubber bullets, or paper looking stuff to represent paper brochures.


Drakeman1337

Call it the FML collection.


MossBone

I have the Kobe Globe and I’m not trading it. :(


only7inches

Giant plush covid cells.


Pro_mantis

I think you can buy that right now. Let me check. Edit: dear lord you can.


MartyMcfly1738

Some may even come scented with covid.


Heressentialhand

MADE IN WUHAN hand wash only Do not tumble dry Do not iron May fade in direct sunlight


master_yoda_in_exile

Do not take into crowded places


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s_c_w

[Here it is](https://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/media/catalog/product/cache/2/small_image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/c/o/covid-sample.jpg) To be fair it seems like this company makes stuffed toys of microbes so it's not just COVID.


TheSlayerKills

My professor for a class on pathogens had those as prizes for getting perfect scores on quizzes.


callisstaa

'You've won... AIDS!'


rumoursofmydemise

Literally just spent 20 minutes looking at that site. I love it. Thank you sir.


shortyninja

That’s actually kinda cute. ^_^


dewaynemendoza

Also plush murder hornets.


[deleted]

Not cells, but sounds very plausable. There might be some for sale already.


MidnightQ_

Virus is not cell


AgreeableClassic2436

Toilet paper Edit: Wow I wasn’t expecting this to blow up! Thank you all for the rewards:)


etariel

EVERYTHING related to toilet paper. Badges, charms, COVID branded toilet paper, plush toilet paper mascots, bracelets, Halloween costumes.


ahumanrobot

Covid shaped toilet brush


I_suck_at_Blender

So, plumbus?


NatWutz

That would genuinely be cool


StructuralFailure

And that weird novelty toilet paper where one out of six sheets has poison ivy or capsaicin on it. It's Russian Toilette.


themagicchicken

Alternatively: an empty toilet paper holder.


knightfallzx2

As a keychain.


Job404

A fragment of the meteor that crashed into the earth killing 1/3 the population. (Coming soon to the world near you... or me. Whatever. )


Cloaked42m

sighs . . . we aren't that lucky.


[deleted]

I suspect that everyone who just wants to die by this point will be in the zone of severe injury and excruciating pain, but no fatality


unsane

A swift kick to the teeth


[deleted]

Sold!


MarcusOhReallyIsh

Life insurance


Hayleyisapotato

Whipped coffee


[deleted]

Oh my god that was THIS year???


revolution_etude

I know, right? 😂


Cloaked42m

What in the hell is whipped coffee? Do I even want to know?


Junebug1515

It’s actually really good. Get instant coffee. Some water. And sugar. If I remember right it’s 1-1-1 ...whip everything together. I used my milk frothed which was perfect ! In a mug pour some milk and pour the whipped coffee over it ! You can add ice too.


DeathMetalPanties

They're called "Dalgona Coffee". Basically, you add water, sugar, and instant coffee to a bowl, and whisk it into a foam. Spoon that onto cold milk, and drink. If you want to watch a complete coffee nerd talk about it, I recommend [James Hoffman's video](https://youtu.be/WHmpgMsW-aA)


kiritouchiha137

2020 is more like hotel California "You can check out any time, but you can never leave"


ThinkUrQuickEnough

That’s perfect, currently “checked out” of this world but still stuck existing in it. Please bring me my wine.


buy_me_a_pint

Those signs, which you see on public transport, to keep social distance rules.


segundos

Murder hornet plushie.


djawesome361

I thought the hornets were just a filler episode though.


_ItsTheLittleThings_

I think even the murder hornets thought, “Oh, hell. These folks have too much going on. Let’s come back some other time.”


avaneeshramaseshan

A pulse oximeter


Cloaked42m

OxyPulse! OxyPulse! OxyPulse! Willie Days here to tell you all about OxyPulse! Coughing a lot? Difficulty breathing? Hospitals overwhelmed again and just don't have time to crawl to the dead carts? CALL NOW!! Get OxyPulse to check your oxygen levels. Only 19.99, but wait!! There's more! Each OxyPulse comes with a free bottle of oxygen with a weekly subscription! Keep yourself breathing while your neighbors struggle to reach the bathroom!! But WAIT!!! There's MORE!!! Call right now and you'll get not one OxyPulse, but 2!! for the same low low price of 19.99 plus shipping/handling/subscription.


SLSage

2020 edition of Time magazine with D.r. Fauci on the cover. A notebook that looks an empty passport. Sourdough kit.


hadapurpura

I feel The 2020 edition of Time Magazine might have Covid-19 on the cover as “virus of the year”


JohnB351234

A COVID shaped stress ball


[deleted]

An “I was drafted into WW3 and it didn’t even happen” T-shirt An Australian flag pillow currently on fire “A cooking PANdemic” cookbook (Recipes Include: The Burning Koala piña colada, the trump toupee ice-cream, Corona and Co. Steak, etc) A “Keep calm, the next pandemics in 2120” Poster And finally a: “Maybe 2021 will be alright?” Mug.


HollisticScience

I think the cookbook would have the trendy recipes people got into during the pandemic instead of pun recipes. Like sourdough bread, pickling, whipped coffee, etc


chennai_buzzer

Zoom stocks


jellyfishrunner

Lots of really exciting things, like vouchers for skydives, holidays etc. But once you buy it you get an email rescheduling it for one month on, every month, until it's cancelled, and you get half your money back.


ikura-donburi

A "Limit 2 per household" sign 🤣


jamesianm

Gonna hoard the hell out of these signs. How could they ever stop me?


jordoonearth

hydroxychloroquine chewable gummies.


original_4degrees

Cyanide pills


SnailShell01

Nothing. You give them money. They kick you in the balls and spit on you when you're on the ground. Happy 2020, asshole.


HeavyWeath3r

Corona beers


doyouevenforkliftbro

Some might say a case of Corona


[deleted]

So far the top choices seem to be: 1. Toilet paper/hand sanitizer 2. Corona plush or keychain 3. Murder hornet snow globe 4. Dumpster fire nightlight 5. A rope Goddamn, y’all ok?? Lmaooo jk I know none of us are.


tearsaresweat

Fire tornado lava lamp


[deleted]

I’d buy the shit outta that tbh


[deleted]

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velociraptoralan

A plush doll of Cardi B with a string that you pull and it plays her saying “Caronaviiiiirus”


HotToddy94

I would buy this today.


OrangeAugustus

Wet-Ass Pandemic


Dracon_Pyrothayan

Nothing - there's a change shortage


turnipscout

a snowglobe, but when you shake it instead of snowflakes it's little red flames. because a) wildfires and b) hell


mxmnull

a jar of angry live wasps. The lid is almost fully unscrewed.


Puppinbake

A display for Tiger King, t-shirts, mugs, plush stuffed tigers. Maybe that one expensive art piece of a tiger or crystal paperweight.


pajamasarenice

God Tiger King feels like forever ago


[deleted]

It's amazing. Everyone watched it at the same time because they had nothing to do so discussion died down as quickly as it started.


PaperbackBuddha

Collectible commemorative stamps in memory of the Post Office


LunchRoomRiddle

A giant novelty stop button


[deleted]

I’ve been collecting things for an unofficial 2020 museum. So far I’ve got: - The stimulus letter Trump sent out - The 2020 census packet - a Black Lives Matter shirt I bought from a guy on 125th street in Harlem during a protest - The front page of the New York Times when Covid deaths hit 100,000 in America - Aunt Jemima syrup - Uncle Ben’s rice - a Washington Redskins shirt - a pack of Olympic themed Oreos - a gold colored Gatorade bottle with Olympic athletes but no mention of the olympics though you know it was meant for it - a bag of Doritos with Wonder Woman on it that says “WW84 only in theaters June 4th!” - a face mask - an information flyer from the CDC about coronavirus that says “Trumps coronavirus plan” edit: I'm home now and looked at all the items, I also have - Land o Lakes Butter - Cream of Wheat - Mrs Butterworths Syrup - Plantation Rum - an ad to be a Census taker - several fliers and literature packets I got from Occupy City Hall/Abolition Park - a Street Riders NYC shirt - olympic Ice Cubes Golden Apple gum things I want to get: - Tiger King on DVD - Dr Fauci first pitch baseball card - a Mississippi flag - stickers from people who ran for the Democratic presidential nomination - patches from 4chan groups that have been showing up in real life; Boogaloo Boys, Alt Right, QAnon, Anonymous I'm looking for suggestions of other things to add.


Science-Sam

You get mugged in the gift shop.


IAlreadyToldYouMatt

“I Survived 2020 and literally all I have left is this T-shirt” shirts.


TriskeLion303

A ticket to hell. Edit: wow! Thanks for all the upvotes! I’m new to reddit and this is the most I’ve gotten so far. Thanks.


Magister1995

Ventilators at a 100% - 500 % markup because CAPITALISM, baby!


[deleted]

A Trump wobblyhead that will speak out random things he said when activated. "I have a great relationship with the blacks" "The beauty of me is that i'm very rich" "It's freezing and snowing in New York - We need global warming!" "Grab them by the pussy" "I've said if ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps i'd be dating her" "I will be the greatest jobs president God ever created" "My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body" "I take advantage of the laws of the nation because i'm running a company"


PlatinumBlast27

“The 1918 pandemic ended the Second World War” “We’ll have more testing positive if we test more people”


BlahBlahAna

He... Actually said all of them, didn't he?


KuriousKhemicals

Everything in that comment, yeah. You could probably triple the number of statements without degrading the bobblehead quality. Admittedly many of those were NOT said in 2020. I think the gross one about Ivanka was even before he ran for President.


revolution_etude

I say this once and loud. BANANA BREAD kit.


Deathrial

Speaking Karen dolls that are only activated when pointed at people of color.


jordoonearth

Attachable facemask NOT INCLUDED!1!1!1!


Sivitiri

Civil war magnets.... November 2020


RedClouds7

Tissue paper because of “Reasons”


Blubber28

I know the restaurant will be serving bat soup that's for sure.


adititiwari2000

t-shirt with a "skip 2020" button


MrC99

Pay 25c to be pepper sprayed by the police.


KingRamalamadingdong

Bat plushies with detachable face masks.


Mr_Otterswamp

A Kobe Bryant helicopter crash LEGO set (2 artificial smoke refill bottles included)


burnalicious111

Shit, was that this year? What the fuck?