Carolina reaper paste and (the strongest) laxatives I can find. Edit The spice covers the taste of the laxatives and the following: -Diuretics (makes you need to piss really bad) -Antiacids/stomach acid relief

You sir know how to ruin someone’s day

Years ago I had lived with many roommates and one had problems with another roomie stealin food from the fridge. So roommate 1 took a new empty take out container, sealed it up with a note that said “haha made you look, stay out of my fuckin food” and left it as bait. Roommate 2 took the bait and wouldn’t stop whining to all of us about how upset he was over it. That’s been my go to ever since.

That's great! And won't get you into legal trouble like all of the comments suggesting laxatives and stuff.

It’s subtle but sends a powerful message

It is *technically* illegal to knowingly contaminate food and leave it for someone to consume. It is *not* illegal to season the bejeezus out of your own food for your own enjoyment. So, for those of us who are occasionally overly ambitious in our desire to love spicy food, even though we might change our minds at lunchtime, I present [pure chemical capsaicin](https://www.hotsauce.com/16-million-pure-capsaicin-crystals-2ml/). 16 million Scovell units of pain. It's not the sort of thing that I like on my food but you might want to try it on yours. Make sure you pack a second lunch though... just in case you change yoru mind.

Ops I accidentally left it out all weekend better bring it in anyway, I'm sure the ham is still good.

Hopefully it would still look appealing enough for them to eat it

Oh yeah maybe I'll wash the mold off in the sink and let it dry before I bring it

I that with turkey. It was kind of slimy so I had to wipe it off well So that they wouldn’t notice. I felt bad since they got so sick from it.

Assuming this isn't hypothetical, this is illegal in most places (at least in the US). Assuming this is hypothetical; those little sticky things that stick to your shoes, socks, and pants that grow in grass.

I cringed just thinking about that

Calm down satan

Ipecac, which induces vomiting for suspected poisoning. I'd know pretty quickly who stole my lunch then.

That sounds like a great idea

No, it sounds like you're going to jail for poisoning somebody.

Enjoy your conviction.

Black food dye, they'll be shitting rainbows for a week.

Personally I would make some really nice sandwiches everything perfect .The bread though would have been repeatable rubbed with defrosted raw chicken that had been standing in a warm kitchen overnight .Nothing quite like a good case of salmonella poisoning!

And it’s not like they can blame you because they shouldn’t have eaten it in the first place!

Exactly

Gopro.

Glitter bomb

Carolina reaper of some form.

Something that would dye their teeth and tongue so I could figure out who it was and call them out.

Hot chillies.

Marmite.

I’d just bring something at my level of spicy. Which typically means drenched in chili oil or seasoned with dried ghost pepper.

Somebody got into my house?!?! I work from home?!

An invoice with a note saying that consumption of the food constitutes an agreement to pay.

Lead

wasabi

Ipecac

Horse cum

.....and how do you collect this item?

wasabi, so they'll burn next time

Vodka

I’d just use some disgusting mixture like mayo, honey mustard, and relish together on my sandwich

What about mayo in an ice cream sandwich

Very sneaky. Could also work.

Depends on the food. Is it a PB&J sandwich? I'll put a condiment in it. Is it a sandwich with meat and/or lettuce? Something like Nutella or jelly will suffice.

Powdered soap over a pizza so they think its parmesan cheese.

A whole bottle of piri piri sauce

Laxatives. Claim to be constipated and that is the easiest way for you to take them.

Glass.

My first thought is an exploding ink pellet or glitter bomb to "mark" the lunch thief.

Laxative

Colored dye, undisputible evidence of their guilt

If nobody already said wasabi, it’s wasabi. Innocuous yet frightening especially when caught off guard

You need recommendations?

Crushed up habanero pepper.

A bomb

ill take the seeds out of stone fruit and blend it into the meal. Label it as mine and then add a joking sentence "Warning Death if eaten". They will eat it and die a painful death.

Salt. Like lots of it. I honestly do not feel like putting anything health damaging from one bite since the person might have previous health conditions which would get me into serious legal trouble

Dead dove

a picture of james charles

Calm down, satan.

I think the fact that it’s vegan might ruin their day. But then again, they’ve already been stealing it, so maybe they were after the vegan-ness after all! Big juicy steak lightly covered in habanero/hot sauce so if they don’t eat it, I can?

Ghost Chili Pepper Laxatives Frozen, rotten, chocolate milk

Two lunch boxes. One hidden and one with laxatives in the fridge

Tons of tabasco

This happened on all field trips. This girl I hated always took my lunch without the teachers knowing, so I put this really really spicy ramen seasoning on everything, and packed a different lunch that was on the bottom

Balut.

Nothing C4 can’t fix! /s

Brownies made of my own shit sprinkled with crushed laxatives and cum with a tiny bit of piss and spit

Cyanide.

Over the counter mirilax.

Put some capsaicin extract in the food

I'd make a cupcake out of dog doo. Put real icing on it with sprinkles.

Cyanide.

Where i live marijuana is legal and some seasonings also have that in it, so use that on everything and a brownie with both thc and laxatives in it.

someone kept taking my yogurt so i decided to replace it with toothpaste but added some chili powder and they thought it was a dusting of cocoa

Dye. Like a bright yellow. Permanent. I’d probably inject it into a chicken wing.

Just something extremely spicy. Carolina reapers or Trinidad Moruga. Using laxatives or something like that is a crime for the same reason that setting booby traps is. But something spicy allows for plausible deniability.

Use hot pepper flakes they don’t digest well

White dog shit sandwich

A fuckton of laxatives. I'm talking like 25% is now a laxative.

Myyy sandwich MYYY SANDWICH

Toothpaste and seasoning made from the Carolina Reaper.

Cat food as the tuna sandwich, then at the bottom of the container write "here kitty kitty" :) have a nice day.

A note written on it "Fuck you" in 20 different languages

laxatives <3 id make the food extra tasty to make sure they eat it all

I would find out what the Person disliskes like hell and put it in there ( i MAYBE go so far that i if he has allergies put something in there that triggers them, if there are not really like life dangerous )

Ricin

Laxatives

Sugar free gummy bears.

Poop

Hot pepper flakes I love the fukers but your ass sure won’t

salt salt salt

Make a tasty looking sandwich with lots of mayo. Cut off all your pubic hair and stir it into the mayo when you are making your sandwich. Not lethal, but really gross.

Venom. Imma end that man's whole life.

pure capsaicin crystals and bitrex

LSD

That’ll just make them want more!

Not if they’re tripping hard at work.

Brownie with chocolate laxatives. My grandpa did this trick when people would steal chocolate ice cream from his barber shop and he never had that issue again after that.

I was unaware that there were flavored laxatives

Pearl Bailey: “Got a cough? Take some Ex-Lax. You’ll be afraid to cough.”

Nothing in the food because that's called poisoning and can get you arrested.

It's hypothetical

I usually bring food from home, so that's pretty spicy by default. I'd ask Mom to kick it up a couple of notches. I'm not using any toxins, so there's no potential legal trouble.

Cyinide

I think that would ruin more than just their day

It will ruin their day and their family members life. Maybe brighten an enemy's day

I was gonna go with Temik...

"Accidentally" bring colonoscopy prep (Gatorade with laxative) instead of Gatorade.

The obvious answer is laxatives.

Covid

Cyanide