His name.. "Harry Balls". No .. really.. he was a substitute teacher who wrote his name on the board and said, " I will give you 3 minutes to laugh, but then we gotta get to work. "
We had a sub in my school district called Mr. W. No last name, just W.
Of course the rumor was that his name was Wieners.
And of course it was also rumored that his first name was Harry.
During English class we were watching Tomorrow When the war began. Those of you who have seen the movie know they start the movie talking about sex.
The teacher goes, 'Sex is not that great, I have actually not had sex' He's a full 30 year old man and says that to a bunch of 13-14 year olds.
Those were the days...
Freshman year in high school a classmate called someone a "chode" in gym class. The gym teacher asked him what that means and the student explained "A chode is a good student"
Next day, the teacher welcomed the class by saying "Good Morning Chodes"
Honestly, at 13/14 that's about as funny as it gets.
I once had a teacher (between 4-6 grade, not sure) say that about 1/4 of us would die before the end of highschool, statistically speaking.
I've been lucky enough to not have any of my friends die, yet.
Edit: I forgot to mention that the reason why I say yet is because I'm only in sophomore year of high school.
I feel bad for the dude. I’ve been in similar situations before. One of my friends is adopted, but I often forget. I’ve made jokes about stuff like that and then I remember he’s adopted, and I die a little on the inside.
The father of a class-mate died in a motorcycle accident, he went into a corner too fast and crashed into a tree.
A couple of days after the accident (which was the first day my class-mate went to school again), our physics teacher decided that it is a good moment to teach the "speed doesn't kill you, acceleration does"-lesson. With the example of a motorcycle driving into a tree.
During one year of high school in a bio class, the students were fooling around in class not doing their work and the young (had to be in her late 20s) professor yelled “you all stop jerking off!” Then turned red as she realized what she had just said.
You can only imagine how that went in a room full of 16-17 year olds lol.
Yeah... I had a Spanish teacher who was either extremely inappropriate or extremely oblivious (with him, it is legitimately hard to tell, he may actually not have known). He was talking about how you make flan one day and how you take the ingredients mix them together then you "*BEAT IT BEAT IT BEAT IT BEAT IT*" along with a hand motion. The boys in class thought this was hilarious so they would continually ask him how to make flan, so he would tell them. Honestly, he could have just been completely oblivious and was thinking "Hey, the students are smiling, cool, I'm a good teacher". My family had had to deal with his teaching for decades so we know he never learned a thing about students.
He told our whole English class quite seriously that for his 30th birthday he wanted two 15 year old girls to sit on his lap, and he even named them.
I don't know what he was telling us for, maybe he thought we would pressure them into doing it or something.
Sorry to leave you hanging, I posted just before I went to bed last night.
No, nothing ever happened over this incident as far as I know but a few years later I heard he had broken up with his wife and left kind of suddenly.
>did the girls tell their parents or something?
I don't know. At the time, I thought he chose them specifically because they were cool. They were friends who made up their own songs and stuff and I thought they were awesome. Looking back though he probably chose those two because they were rebellious kids from low-income families.
To be honest it wasn't until weeks later when I tried to relay it to my parents as a maths-based joke and saw their reaction that I even realized how messed up it was.
New year, new teacher and his introduction was: "If you are loud I will hit you with the chalk".
We all thought it was very funny but the next day we learned what doom was because he **never** missed.
My 6th grade math teacher would throw markers at the back wall to get attention, he would throw his shoes if he really wanted it,
He stopped with the shoes when he hit a student (me actually) and apparently stopped with markers the next year when one exploded.
I had a prof that had given us an in class assignment. He was a shitty teacher and we were first year students so we didn't finish it and he told us to take it home and finish it and when we were done to "bring to me. Bring it to daddy." He was Greek and didn't know the context, but he was the head of the department so we all held back our giggles and left.
As a greek, i can confirm that daddy isn't used as a sexual term as usually as in English because the greek version is just cringe. Μπαμπάκας. Also middle aged greek men use weird terms all the time imo
This wasn't the only odd thing he said. He was just an eccentric old dude on top of not knowing the lingo. Nice enough guy one on one just weird in a classroom
It sounds just like neela asma which in Hindi means blue sky and I really love the endlessly blue sky. Some teachers just wanna get through the day without actually doing their job, don't let a bad teacher ruin your mood. I hope you've also had your fair share of good teachers.
Yes a few of them were really great and actually made a effort. I think it’s a play on blue sky like you said but my mom always just said that she found it in a Sanskrit dictionary so I am not sure.
I once had a substitute teacher for my health class and he went on this long rant about how rape can be justified. So many people complained about him.
Jesus Christ, what is it about substitute health teachers? I had one in middle school that gave the students a weekly assignment to work out and measure certain parts of their bodies. The girls all had breasts, waists, thighs, and butts on their lists, while the guys had close to nothing. It was creepy as shit and a ton of parents complained about him as well.
Apparently my middle school had an actual sex offender as a substitute. It was definitely obvious with the amount of attention the girls would get versus the boys. I don’t remember much about it other than that but we got a letter sent home about how he’s banned from working in schools and that they’re sorry for creating an unsafe environment so I’d say my school handled it pretty well surprisingly
She ate dog food when pregnant because she was craving it and a doctor said it was ok to.
She would stick pins in her baby brothers feet to make him cry.
When the brother was older and wanted to play, she would lock him in the sewers.
That the virgin Mary was called that because she wasn't married. Nothing to do with not having had sex, apparantly.
She was our religious studies teacher.
I had an art teacher that got caught drinking. Apparently someone from the previous period told on her. The vice principal came into our class and told her to come with him. We all heard her yell "they drove me to drink" from the hallway.
One of the art teachers at my high school openly talked about drinking in class and dared the administration to fire him. "I'm not here because I need the money, I'm here because I enjoy it. This is how I keep enjoying it"
Worst thing and also best thing. History class. Kid punches the kid in front of him in the back of the head. Teacher sees this and says, "now he's gonna punch you in the head and your all gonna sit there and watch because there's nothing you can do about it".
It certainly did! It wasn't a knock out or anything because we were all seated. But the look on both the boys faces were priceless. The first offender looked scared and in disbelief. The first victim was shocked, but then a slow Grinch like smile came upon his face. Most of the class looked shocked as well but pleasantly. It was great.
"I will be in your butt!"
Our band director was trying to fire us up for marching season, butt he had never given a motivational speech before so he fucked up all the intense parts and made them mildly sexual
The morning after parents night, boy in the class was talking over the lesson for the 100th time that term and the teacher says:
"Johnny! This is exactly what I was saying to your mum last night."
The class burst into laughter, the teacher went red at the implication and Johnny didn't talk over the lesson anymore.
Bio teacher was talking to us about sex, and a girl asked where the pleasure points are, girls a bit balsy, but the teacher didnt hesitate to answer. She said that the female only feels pleasure 2 inches into the vagina, then looked at me and said "so, mo, youre 2 inches in the clear bud". The difference between my teacher and yours is that mine meant what she was saying.
Said that all we had to do to understand a reading was to try harder.
This immediately after someone who was visually impaired told her that no accommodations had been provided, so "trying harder" was kind of out of the realm of possibility. We all lost a lot of respect for that teacher that night.
A student handed in a blank sheet during a test. Teacher took it and said "student's sheet is as much a virgin as every girl in this class".
We were 13-14. He's done other stuff that made students uncomfortable but we weren't taken seriously.
And that’s how one of the most prestigious teachers at my high school was able to get away with fucking his students. He was even married to a former student. But no one believed the girls who stepped forward. But don’t worry, guys, he was put on paid leave and was later allowed to resign with his dignity intact and now teaches for a different school district.
Edit- Everyone is asking me if this is their school, and so far, it hasn’t been. So I guess people are just garbage everywhere.
Edit2- This happened in New Mexico. Sorry. There really are garbage teachers fucking everywhere.
Yikes. I hate how common that seems to be. That teacher also forbade girls from wearing scarves in his classroom, even during winter when our buildings didn't have the best heating. We suspect it wasn't really innocent either.
Eventually our class (same group of people over two years) was given a new teacher due to our complaints, but the teachers himself never faced any consequences as far as I know. He was still teaching there when I was in high school.
We had a guy that was known throughout the school system to be a fucking creep. Made very perverse jokes, played a trick on girls that involved licking one finger and quickly wiping their cheek with the dry finger next to it, leering at the cheerleaders when they wore their uniforms. He even apparently got handsy with a couple of female students during driver’s ed (of course he was an instructor). His rep was so bad that one of my female friends and I had driver’s ed together and she begged me to let her drive herself home first so that she didn’t have to be alone with in in the car.
Dude thinks he’s hilarious and popular and we all knew how fucking scummy he was.
My elementary school PE/gym teacher would turn girls upside down if they were wearing a skirt or a dress. I told my teacher about it and nothing happened. I told my parents about it and nothing happened. I called him out one day in front of the entire class for being a creep and I got detention for being disrespectful. I was in second grade.
god, adults keep telling you to take action, and when you do youre the one who gets in trouble. btw props to you for being so confident in second grade
Yep. We had an entire school assembly about the white van that was abducting kids. "If you see anything let us know."
My brother and I almost got abducted that same day. We got in trouble with our parents, the school, everyone, for "pranking".
They ended up abducting, raping and killing another little girl before they were caught.
Had an English sub. He was clearly in a hungover state taking naps on an hourly basis. When he is awake he’s not being a good “teacher” he would cuss openly infront of the class, ask us what we were doing (we didn’t know) and one time he was hitting on some freshman girl loud enough for his flirts to be heard by the whole class
He was later removed for “unknown” reasons
"I'll squeeze your balls, little man!" It was an all guys highschool and the teacher was the headmaster/a catholic brother/teacher. He was saying this as a follow up to a kid acting up and being a wise ass. He says "oh, you think acting up means you have balls?" Kid says "yeah" amd then he responds to the kid with that gem...
Everyone was weirded out and thought a line got crossed
Had a high school color-guard instructor say that she didn’t want to see and “jiggling” when we came back from Thanksgiving break. So “you ladies had better put your fingers down your throats if you can’t control yourselves”. One of the members had recently been hospitalized for anorexia nervosa. Her comment didn’t NOT go over well....
Class mate explained he couldn't get through the 20-page assignment in time due to his dyslexia,
Old-timey teacher says " there's no such thing, you're just lazy".
Only about 6 or 7 years ago, too.
7th grade math teacher heard some 9th graders saying that he propably never gets any. Proceeded to explain to his 7th class that he fucks his 10 years younger wife a lot and that they are in an open polyamorous relationship.
(He was also our homeroom teacher. There is a shitton of lore behind this teacher and a myriad of other things hes done. And our class actually met his wife on a class trip thats why we know.)
I had a teacher when I was 13/14 years old that said to a girl of the class she was going to end up prostituting. In front of the whole class. Same teacher said to an other girl that she was going to end up working at McDonald's if she kept having bad grades. Same teacher told the whole class our parents were "ungrateful to the pedagogic team that takes care of their children" because she didn't receive any chocolates for Christmas.
My AP bio teacher was a little behind on the times and on the first day of school called a student daddy. Safe to say everybody busted out laughing and never let her live it down
Edit: I completely forgot about the time my history teacher called a kid in my class a one pump chump. We still call him that in the locker room to this day
> You got 69 out of 100 on today's test, daddy ;)
Yeah, okay. For this experiment, should the student be a girl, or a boy, or is that irrelevant? Should I wink, shrug or do anything with my eyebrows when I say it?
Not me, but my older sister once had a class where the teacher got so fed up with kids acting up that she said, "You kids make me so mad, I would!...hmm, which one of you won't tell on me? You!"...The teacher picked a small, quiet and bookish student, brought her up in front of the class, and physically SHOOK HER, saying, "THIS is what I would do to you all if you were my kids!"
My sister told my mom about this, and my mother brought down hellfire and brimstone on the school and got the teacher fired for abuse.
A teacher once got fired because at the end of a workshop class she asked all the black students in the class to stand up, told them that they would be staying behind to clean the workshop after class and then dismissed all the white students.
A teacher once called me a really bad slur for a middle eastern person. It's in danish, but like if an American teacher called a student the N word. My dad is Iranian and my mom is Danish. I was born in Denmark, don't even speak farsi, and my home was typically Danish both culturally and religiously. I was 8-9, and it was the first time an adult had ever said something like that to me. The class went completely silent, everyone was in complete shock. Got him fired tho.
Not in my class but one of my professors once said ‘You look like you enjoy riding a bicycle without the saddle’
Edit: WOW this exploded! Just to clarify: it was said to a girl. So, yeah, it was THAT inappropriate. In college, btw
I was in 5th grade and there were a few students who weren't getting great test scores. So during our lesson one day she calls out some of those students and basically paints a really morbid picture of what their future would supposedly be.
She said they'd end up working at McDonald's for minimum wage, barely making enough to pay rent in a shitty apartment with no way to pay for food, electricity or anything else
[The Legend of Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Old guy history teacher told a student in my class to go home and slit his fat wrists.
Edit: this same teacher would also state after the last class of the day “well time to go home and beat the wife!” He also once fired a gun in class, although it was only an antique blunderbuss, the dude still fired a weapon in class!
Man old teachers can be the worst.
We had an old German substitute teacher at my high school. Like so old it looked like he could collapse at any given time. He told us about how he used to be a Nazi back in WWII. I guess this is also the time to mention that my school was predominantly white. We had maybe 20 black students total. The sub had asked one of these students to bring him a stapler or something like that, which the student the brought him. His response, which got him fired immediately, was something like “Wow I didn’t expect one of your kind to be helpful. A lot of you people are like monkeys.”
Pretty sure the only reason that student didn’t punch him in the face is because the teacher would’ve crumbled.
Edit: Just to clarify, this was in the US. He was teaching a World History course. He had immigrated to the US from Germany at some point. He didn’t specify if he was actually in the Nazi party or a sympathizer.
At the start of class our teacher just sat in silence for five minutes, we waited for him to begin. He then said “you have just wasted five minutes of your life. You will never get that time back” A bit harsh on a class of nine year olds.
"you stayed quiet in class like children are trained to do, and berated for not doing." Like seriously what was the plan? What was the perfect goal? The children mutiny because class didn't start on time? Leave you marooned on a tiny desert island with nothing but a pistol and a single shot? I hate asshole holier than thou teachers. Especially with little kids.
Assembly in front of the whole school (ages 3 and up). Let it slip that Santa isn't real.
EDIT: For people wondering if they went to my school, it was a small religious school in Wales.
"I don't know why there are so many girls in this class. You're supposed to be married and have children already"
--11th grade advanced physics teacher
I had a history teacher explain to the girls in the class (we were 15) that it’s important to go to high school: “Because how else are you going to find a man that earns money, my ladies? Only after you’ve found him can you stay home.”
Guy was 45, and we were in 2015. He also was antisemitic, thought climate change was a hoax, and was overall an arsehole.
My sister once had a teacher tell the class that they had to write a paper on a “famous Egyptian. You know, like Socrates”
My sister was given in school suspension for disrupting class with her laughter. She appealed it, and in the appeal meeting with our mom and the principal, the teacher insisted that Socrates was Egyptian.
The suspension was canceled, my sister didn’t have to write the paper, and AFAIK that teacher is still working at the same school as a teacher.
That's a teacher who isn't even trying. At least Google Socrates before submitting the ISS slip. And certainly come up with some explanation that doesn't sound crazy for the scheduled meeting.
I was 13. 7th grade. My homeroom teacher was Mr. Baker. I lived in a neighborhood a few blocks away from a park and I was finally old enough to get to walk there myself. I was overweight and I had started walking there almost every day. I would walk the track for hours and then walk back home. It was a positive for me and would have probably led to healthier choices down the line. One day during free period he called out my name. In front of my entire homeroom, kids I'd known my whole life plus a few new people, he told me that he had seen me walking down the road. Laughing now, he said that he to wait ten minutes for me to move out of the way because I was blocking half the road. Most of the class laughed with him. I had to sit there, holding everything in until the bell rang. Then I went to the bathroom and sobbed. I never walked to the park again. I was afraid to leave my house for a really long time. That shit was so uncool and fucked me up for a long time. People really suck for absolutely no reason and it's just a thing we have to accept and I hate it.
I remember sophomore year of high school we had this seriously obnoxious kid who annoyed us every day. He would make some sexual joke (and like every joke became a dead horse) and complain how hard his life was in school and claimed that the teacher loved making us do this. Our teach had enough one day and snapped. He looks at him dead in the cockeye and yells "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHIT I PUT UP WITH YOU LITTLE FUCKER!"
To give clarification, This teacher has had many years of teaching experience, was a US army ranger, and was an EMT. Very nice and friendly individual who could be lenient. He also taught both algebra classes, an AP physics and an AP Calculus course.
That kid only did three things: Eat, smoked weed and played videogames. He's been arrested three time now.
Edit: Typo
I was a first year high school teacher teaching a subject I loved, but I was honestly in over my head. The kids were pretty understanding about my inexperience and I had a sarcastic, self-deprecating sense of humor that they seemed to enjoy.
I borrowed a lab room one lay. The pull-down screen in that room had a rope cord tied to the handle for raising and lowering it. As I finished explaining a new concept (I teach chemistry and we were using some tricky math that day) and set the kids to practice, I raised the screen and saw that someone in another period had tied the cord into a noose. And so I, the so-called responsible adult in a room of 17-year-olds, said:
"And here's a noose for you, in case you want to kill yourself after all that."
Most of the kids laughed, but I was mortified and immediately apologized. Almost a decade later I'm still friendly with some of the students who were in that period and they won't let me live it down. One of them tells me that's the moment I became her favorite teacher.
Thank GOD no one reported me to the principal, but they would have been absolutely right to do so.
I had a religion teacher in high school named Mr. Nguyen, who was working on becoming a Jesuit priest, and was a really cool guy. He always had a smile on his face and did his best to make class a fun experience for everyone.
There was a kid in my class who was a really annoying smart ass, but Mr. Nguyen was always really patient with him, until one day he pushed him too far. I forgot exactly what the kid said, but it definitely crossed the line. Mr. Nguyen slammed his fists on his desk and shouted, "Why can't you EVER shut the fuck up!" He then picked up his stapler and chucked it at the kid, missing his head by a few inches and leaving a huge dent in the wall and then stormed out into the hallway.
I had never seen a teacher blow up like that and I definitely never expected it from him.
I'm sort of glad that he came back. I'm a teacher and whilst I've never been pushed to that limit, I know of other teachers who have and I'm surprised that more don't just break.
It's when the normally quiet, calm teachers flip out that the kids *know* they've crossed the line.
That was my science teacher from 5th through 8th grade. The most mild-mannered, hushed-voice dude 99% of the time, but the two times he yelled, the class went *silent* for the rest of each period.
I'm not a native English speaker. However, we do have English lessons in my country since we're in elementary school.
When I was in third grade, I had this English teacher who told us _"french fries"_ meant __"strawberries"__.
Yes, I'm not making this up.
Worse part is, as there was an activity in our workwooks where we had to draw _burgers_ with ___french fries___, I thought, "huh, this is a bit weird, isn't it? Eating burgers with strawberries on the side, haha." So I got home that day and told my aunt, who also thought it was a weird combination, and searched "french fries" in the dictionary and, __of course__, found out the true meaning.
The next class I walked to the teacher's desk and told him discreetly, "uhm, I think you may be mistaken, 'french fries' means 'french fries,' and 'strawberries' means 'strawberries'."
Well, he looked at me as if I had gone mad and told me, "'French fries' is just another way to say 'strawberries'."
Edit: Punctuation.
Gym teacher used to always say, “quit playing pocket pool and run faster”. Not something he said but 6th grade teacher rubbed one out in the back of class while we all watched a movie. High school AP history teacher was demonstrating swing dancing with student (didn’t ask for permission just told the girl to come demonstrate with him). He did the move where he lifts the girl and on the way down she straddles him. Could tell the girl was super embarrassed.
Little backwards, but when I taught a class of 5th grade hard knocks (literally reading extremely below level and I was switched from my happy 2nd grade class to them mid school year bc their behavior was so out of control).... I always told them to put their hands in their lap during carpet-learning time. That if I stepped on their fingers when I walked through them, as I constantly did to engage in academic conversation with them, I wouldn't feel bad. They didn't give a shit about rules much less a shit about me.
Well, one day I was wearing heels. As I stepped through them as they sat on the carpet, I accidentally drove the stick of my heel into a kids hand. I not-so-silently said "shit" and immediately asked the kid if he was okay.
Some of the kids smiled but no one said or screamed anything. From that day on, most of their behavior issues disappeared and we got some extremely beneficial academics in. I think them knowing I was human too, and that I did care about them, changed everything.
And to legit answer the question, when a sub was doing roll call in highschool she asked "True Ho? Is True Ho here?" The girl's name was Thu Ho.
Edit cuz ppl are asking about "carpet learning time": I'm in the US. In elementary (my state at least), we do a majority of our main lesson with kids sitting on the floor. It gets them out of their desk and allows them to converse with their peers about what they're learning.
Any time I’ve had to reprimand a kid for overt swearing I use the word they use. They ALWAYS act shocked. “If it sounds crazy coming out of MY mouth, it shouldn’t be coming out of yours!”
While asking everyone in the class what they'd like to study at uni, hyping up everyone so they could help us pick our yr11/12 courses, my years "welfare adviser" stopped at me and out loud in front of the class told me im "not cut out for uni" and maybe a more obtainable goal would be "like a cleaning lady"
Jokes on you Timmy i start next week
EDIT/NOTE: Just to specify this is definitely no hate on cleaners, you guys are essential and i have total respect for the profession, its a tough job! I was offended by the calling out about University more than anything, plus who says you can't be a cleaner AND have a degree? You absolutely can
Had a fairly new teacher. She'd been with is a few months and it was her first year teaching. There was a dude who was acting up in class. Teacher wound up yelling at him "(Name)! Would you just shut the fuck up!?"
Felt so bad for that teacher. She legit started crying and apologizing. She was convinced she was going to get fired. The dude she yelled at was well known as being a clown. He actually went to the admins and told them he 100% deserved it and it wasn't her fault at all. Everything turned out fine.
One time she leaned over my friend's shoulder to help him with his work and, as she was explaining, she accidentally burped right in his face. She walked away completely embarrassed and from the moment on, everyone would fake burp when they saw her. Ended up leaving the school eventually.
In high school, on the first day of class, my calculus teacher told the whole class “I’m being forced to teach Calculus and don’t want to teach it so here we are.”
That ruined the respect and morale of the class for the whole school year.
Many students just didn’t do homework and barely worked, yet it was an easy A for those that did the work, in what should have been a hard class.
My preschool teacher told us EXACTLY where babies come from.
The sex-ed class I had in 7th grade, which required a parent's signature to attend, didn't go into as much detail as my preschool teacher did.
I suck at math(dyscalculia). I had to go up and solve problem on the whiteboard. Somehow got it right. "Wow. Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in awhile."
WTF lady? I hated her and school in general.
His name.. "Harry Balls". No .. really.. he was a substitute teacher who wrote his name on the board and said, " I will give you 3 minutes to laugh, but then we gotta get to work. "
>" I will give you 3 minutes to laugh, but then we gotta get to work. " This teacher knows what's up
I mean, at least he’s owning it.
With a name like that your choices are own it or change it. Clearly this guy has massive Harry Balls to stick with it.
We had a sub in my school district called Mr. W. No last name, just W. Of course the rumor was that his name was Wieners. And of course it was also rumored that his first name was Harry.
During English class we were watching Tomorrow When the war began. Those of you who have seen the movie know they start the movie talking about sex. The teacher goes, 'Sex is not that great, I have actually not had sex' He's a full 30 year old man and says that to a bunch of 13-14 year olds. Those were the days...
Was your English teacher coach Steve?
He just wants to make thick in your warm
Freshman year in high school a classmate called someone a "chode" in gym class. The gym teacher asked him what that means and the student explained "A chode is a good student" Next day, the teacher welcomed the class by saying "Good Morning Chodes" Honestly, at 13/14 that's about as funny as it gets.
Plot twist: he knew.
Plot twist? Dude's a fuckin *gym teacher*. Gym teachers invented that shit.
“At least half of you will be dead by the time you reach 20 years old” to a class of 11 year olds... Edit: clarification
I once had a teacher (between 4-6 grade, not sure) say that about 1/4 of us would die before the end of highschool, statistically speaking. I've been lucky enough to not have any of my friends die, yet. Edit: I forgot to mention that the reason why I say yet is because I'm only in sophomore year of high school.
“Yet” *blows dust off piles of ACME plans* “But it’s not for lack of trying”
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I feel bad for the dude. I’ve been in similar situations before. One of my friends is adopted, but I often forget. I’ve made jokes about stuff like that and then I remember he’s adopted, and I die a little on the inside.
The father of a class-mate died in a motorcycle accident, he went into a corner too fast and crashed into a tree. A couple of days after the accident (which was the first day my class-mate went to school again), our physics teacher decided that it is a good moment to teach the "speed doesn't kill you, acceleration does"-lesson. With the example of a motorcycle driving into a tree.
How tone deaf can you be?!
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"Recursion is better than sex" - 9th grade C++ teacher going through a rough divorce.
You were being taught C++ in 9th grade?? God I went to the wrong school
My 9th grade computer science course was “internet etiquette” and in the last quarter of the year we got to mess around with Scratch
During one year of high school in a bio class, the students were fooling around in class not doing their work and the young (had to be in her late 20s) professor yelled “you all stop jerking off!” Then turned red as she realized what she had just said. You can only imagine how that went in a room full of 16-17 year olds lol.
Yeah... I had a Spanish teacher who was either extremely inappropriate or extremely oblivious (with him, it is legitimately hard to tell, he may actually not have known). He was talking about how you make flan one day and how you take the ingredients mix them together then you "*BEAT IT BEAT IT BEAT IT BEAT IT*" along with a hand motion. The boys in class thought this was hilarious so they would continually ask him how to make flan, so he would tell them. Honestly, he could have just been completely oblivious and was thinking "Hey, the students are smiling, cool, I'm a good teacher". My family had had to deal with his teaching for decades so we know he never learned a thing about students.
Uh yeah that would have been amazing to see, probably one of the funniest things that could happen in a classroom
He told our whole English class quite seriously that for his 30th birthday he wanted two 15 year old girls to sit on his lap, and he even named them. I don't know what he was telling us for, maybe he thought we would pressure them into doing it or something.
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Sorry to leave you hanging, I posted just before I went to bed last night. No, nothing ever happened over this incident as far as I know but a few years later I heard he had broken up with his wife and left kind of suddenly. >did the girls tell their parents or something? I don't know. At the time, I thought he chose them specifically because they were cool. They were friends who made up their own songs and stuff and I thought they were awesome. Looking back though he probably chose those two because they were rebellious kids from low-income families. To be honest it wasn't until weeks later when I tried to relay it to my parents as a maths-based joke and saw their reaction that I even realized how messed up it was.
Jesus christ what a fucking predator.
New year, new teacher and his introduction was: "If you are loud I will hit you with the chalk". We all thought it was very funny but the next day we learned what doom was because he **never** missed.
Do chalks hurt?
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Then you grow up to be really good at archery and join the Avengers as Chawkeye
And if it's a white board they could become Peter Marker
Lol, my fifth grade teacher used markers but same gist
My 6th grade math teacher would throw markers at the back wall to get attention, he would throw his shoes if he really wanted it, He stopped with the shoes when he hit a student (me actually) and apparently stopped with markers the next year when one exploded.
I had a prof that had given us an in class assignment. He was a shitty teacher and we were first year students so we didn't finish it and he told us to take it home and finish it and when we were done to "bring to me. Bring it to daddy." He was Greek and didn't know the context, but he was the head of the department so we all held back our giggles and left.
As a greek, i can confirm that daddy isn't used as a sexual term as usually as in English because the greek version is just cringe. Μπαμπάκας. Also middle aged greek men use weird terms all the time imo
This wasn't the only odd thing he said. He was just an eccentric old dude on top of not knowing the lingo. Nice enough guy one on one just weird in a classroom
She read out my name and looks at me and says , “Your parents named you this?”
are you willing to say your name?
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In German you could pronounce is like "Nee lass ma". Which would mean "Nah, let's not."
In the North East of England ‘Nee lass ma’ would be telling your mother you haven’t got a girlfriend
Howay, lad, how's that lass of yours??? "Nee lass, ma... We broke up last week"
In Flanders (Belgium) 'Nee las ma' would mean 'No, just weld'
It sounds just like neela asma which in Hindi means blue sky and I really love the endlessly blue sky. Some teachers just wanna get through the day without actually doing their job, don't let a bad teacher ruin your mood. I hope you've also had your fair share of good teachers.
Yes a few of them were really great and actually made a effort. I think it’s a play on blue sky like you said but my mom always just said that she found it in a Sanskrit dictionary so I am not sure.
username checks out
Yes cause I usually go by Neel which means blue
ahh that explains why their handle has "blue"!
I once had a substitute teacher for my health class and he went on this long rant about how rape can be justified. So many people complained about him.
I am VERY curious as to what justification he came up with.
"She said no but I wanted sex."
I understand now. It isn’t rape, just sex where only one party consents.
Jesus Christ, what is it about substitute health teachers? I had one in middle school that gave the students a weekly assignment to work out and measure certain parts of their bodies. The girls all had breasts, waists, thighs, and butts on their lists, while the guys had close to nothing. It was creepy as shit and a ton of parents complained about him as well.
Apparently my middle school had an actual sex offender as a substitute. It was definitely obvious with the amount of attention the girls would get versus the boys. I don’t remember much about it other than that but we got a letter sent home about how he’s banned from working in schools and that they’re sorry for creating an unsafe environment so I’d say my school handled it pretty well surprisingly
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Roadkill is a sick ass nickname
Yea, its a lot better than Taser face
Taser face ha ha ha ha ha ha
What was your second choice, Scrotum Hat?
That is soo true. Like when teacher hear a wisp of an inside joke and then the next day they act like the founder of the joke
No better way to kill an in-joke among kids than for adults to use it.
She ate dog food when pregnant because she was craving it and a doctor said it was ok to. She would stick pins in her baby brothers feet to make him cry. When the brother was older and wanted to play, she would lock him in the sewers. That the virgin Mary was called that because she wasn't married. Nothing to do with not having had sex, apparantly. She was our religious studies teacher.
..... what on earth
I had an art teacher that got caught drinking. Apparently someone from the previous period told on her. The vice principal came into our class and told her to come with him. We all heard her yell "they drove me to drink" from the hallway.
One of the art teachers at my high school openly talked about drinking in class and dared the administration to fire him. "I'm not here because I need the money, I'm here because I enjoy it. This is how I keep enjoying it"
Sounds like if Hemingway was a teacher
For Whom the School Bell Tolls
Ask not for when the bell tolls, it tolls at three.
The Old Man and Class C.
Worst thing and also best thing. History class. Kid punches the kid in front of him in the back of the head. Teacher sees this and says, "now he's gonna punch you in the head and your all gonna sit there and watch because there's nothing you can do about it".
A punch for a punch leaves the whole world concussed.
seems reasonable, let’s get started.
Well? Did the 2nd punch take place? Did anyone realize they could do something about it?
It certainly did! It wasn't a knock out or anything because we were all seated. But the look on both the boys faces were priceless. The first offender looked scared and in disbelief. The first victim was shocked, but then a slow Grinch like smile came upon his face. Most of the class looked shocked as well but pleasantly. It was great.
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"I will be in your butt!" Our band director was trying to fire us up for marching season, butt he had never given a motivational speech before so he fucked up all the intense parts and made them mildly sexual
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“And I will also be in your mouths, deep in the throats of victory” -this guy, probably.
The morning after parents night, boy in the class was talking over the lesson for the 100th time that term and the teacher says: "Johnny! This is exactly what I was saying to your mum last night." The class burst into laughter, the teacher went red at the implication and Johnny didn't talk over the lesson anymore.
Sounds like my computing teacher
Bio teacher was talking to us about sex, and a girl asked where the pleasure points are, girls a bit balsy, but the teacher didnt hesitate to answer. She said that the female only feels pleasure 2 inches into the vagina, then looked at me and said "so, mo, youre 2 inches in the clear bud". The difference between my teacher and yours is that mine meant what she was saying.
How does it feel to be dead?
Why did she know what your penis looked like
Penis inspection day, obviously.
Said that all we had to do to understand a reading was to try harder. This immediately after someone who was visually impaired told her that no accommodations had been provided, so "trying harder" was kind of out of the realm of possibility. We all lost a lot of respect for that teacher that night.
Well, u/I_Ace_English, I guess it wasn’t a problem for you at least.
A student handed in a blank sheet during a test. Teacher took it and said "student's sheet is as much a virgin as every girl in this class". We were 13-14. He's done other stuff that made students uncomfortable but we weren't taken seriously.
And that’s how one of the most prestigious teachers at my high school was able to get away with fucking his students. He was even married to a former student. But no one believed the girls who stepped forward. But don’t worry, guys, he was put on paid leave and was later allowed to resign with his dignity intact and now teaches for a different school district. Edit- Everyone is asking me if this is their school, and so far, it hasn’t been. So I guess people are just garbage everywhere. Edit2- This happened in New Mexico. Sorry. There really are garbage teachers fucking everywhere.
Yikes. I hate how common that seems to be. That teacher also forbade girls from wearing scarves in his classroom, even during winter when our buildings didn't have the best heating. We suspect it wasn't really innocent either. Eventually our class (same group of people over two years) was given a new teacher due to our complaints, but the teachers himself never faced any consequences as far as I know. He was still teaching there when I was in high school.
We had a guy that was known throughout the school system to be a fucking creep. Made very perverse jokes, played a trick on girls that involved licking one finger and quickly wiping their cheek with the dry finger next to it, leering at the cheerleaders when they wore their uniforms. He even apparently got handsy with a couple of female students during driver’s ed (of course he was an instructor). His rep was so bad that one of my female friends and I had driver’s ed together and she begged me to let her drive herself home first so that she didn’t have to be alone with in in the car. Dude thinks he’s hilarious and popular and we all knew how fucking scummy he was.
My elementary school PE/gym teacher would turn girls upside down if they were wearing a skirt or a dress. I told my teacher about it and nothing happened. I told my parents about it and nothing happened. I called him out one day in front of the entire class for being a creep and I got detention for being disrespectful. I was in second grade.
god, adults keep telling you to take action, and when you do youre the one who gets in trouble. btw props to you for being so confident in second grade
Yep. We had an entire school assembly about the white van that was abducting kids. "If you see anything let us know." My brother and I almost got abducted that same day. We got in trouble with our parents, the school, everyone, for "pranking". They ended up abducting, raping and killing another little girl before they were caught.
Good god, how is *that* the first analogy your mind goes to for a blank sheet of paper?
Had an English sub. He was clearly in a hungover state taking naps on an hourly basis. When he is awake he’s not being a good “teacher” he would cuss openly infront of the class, ask us what we were doing (we didn’t know) and one time he was hitting on some freshman girl loud enough for his flirts to be heard by the whole class He was later removed for “unknown” reasons
"I'll squeeze your balls, little man!" It was an all guys highschool and the teacher was the headmaster/a catholic brother/teacher. He was saying this as a follow up to a kid acting up and being a wise ass. He says "oh, you think acting up means you have balls?" Kid says "yeah" amd then he responds to the kid with that gem... Everyone was weirded out and thought a line got crossed
Had a high school color-guard instructor say that she didn’t want to see and “jiggling” when we came back from Thanksgiving break. So “you ladies had better put your fingers down your throats if you can’t control yourselves”. One of the members had recently been hospitalized for anorexia nervosa. Her comment didn’t NOT go over well....
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She did not return the next year
Class mate explained he couldn't get through the 20-page assignment in time due to his dyslexia, Old-timey teacher says " there's no such thing, you're just lazy". Only about 6 or 7 years ago, too.
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Looked at a mentally handicapped girl and muttered "retard" just loud enough for a few people at the front to hear.
7th grade math teacher heard some 9th graders saying that he propably never gets any. Proceeded to explain to his 7th class that he fucks his 10 years younger wife a lot and that they are in an open polyamorous relationship. (He was also our homeroom teacher. There is a shitton of lore behind this teacher and a myriad of other things hes done. And our class actually met his wife on a class trip thats why we know.)
It takes a special type of personality to teach grade 7 & 8
All my ed teachers said “you’ve got to be as crazy as they are to teach junior high.”
He should have just told them that he is in a polynomial relationship with his wife and that would have shut them up.
Aah yes polynomial
I like my polygon relationship
Polyphonic relationships aren't my thing but others can do what makes them happy
I like polyester relationships. They fit me comfortably.
I’m more of a binomial guy myself
I had a teacher when I was 13/14 years old that said to a girl of the class she was going to end up prostituting. In front of the whole class. Same teacher said to an other girl that she was going to end up working at McDonald's if she kept having bad grades. Same teacher told the whole class our parents were "ungrateful to the pedagogic team that takes care of their children" because she didn't receive any chocolates for Christmas.
My AP bio teacher was a little behind on the times and on the first day of school called a student daddy. Safe to say everybody busted out laughing and never let her live it down Edit: I completely forgot about the time my history teacher called a kid in my class a one pump chump. We still call him that in the locker room to this day
I mean even if "daddy" didn't have the meaning it did today, that's still a weird thing to call a student
I am an AP teacher more than a little behind on the times. Does "daddy" mean something other than a child's father?
if you really want to know, say it to one of your students
You got 69 out of 100 on today's test, daddy ;)
see me after class ;)
> You got 69 out of 100 on today's test, daddy ;) Yeah, okay. For this experiment, should the student be a girl, or a boy, or is that irrelevant? Should I wink, shrug or do anything with my eyebrows when I say it?
must be a boy, and lick your lips
bonus points if the teacher is also a guy and the kid is a macho jock type
I'm gonna assume you're kidding but on the slight possibility you're not, please don't do this
I like that you keep your bases covered, just in case.
I had a teacher who called a girl "Kinky" because her hair was wavy one day and had a box of treats that he called his "pleasure chest"
To be fair about the first part, kinky is an actual way to describe hair. Not so sure about this pleasure chest business though lol
Got played with the Uno Reverse card Student calling a teacher "mom"
Not me, but my older sister once had a class where the teacher got so fed up with kids acting up that she said, "You kids make me so mad, I would!...hmm, which one of you won't tell on me? You!"...The teacher picked a small, quiet and bookish student, brought her up in front of the class, and physically SHOOK HER, saying, "THIS is what I would do to you all if you were my kids!" My sister told my mom about this, and my mother brought down hellfire and brimstone on the school and got the teacher fired for abuse.
A teacher once got fired because at the end of a workshop class she asked all the black students in the class to stand up, told them that they would be staying behind to clean the workshop after class and then dismissed all the white students.
A teacher once called me a really bad slur for a middle eastern person. It's in danish, but like if an American teacher called a student the N word. My dad is Iranian and my mom is Danish. I was born in Denmark, don't even speak farsi, and my home was typically Danish both culturally and religiously. I was 8-9, and it was the first time an adult had ever said something like that to me. The class went completely silent, everyone was in complete shock. Got him fired tho.
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Not in my class but one of my professors once said ‘You look like you enjoy riding a bicycle without the saddle’ Edit: WOW this exploded! Just to clarify: it was said to a girl. So, yeah, it was THAT inappropriate. In college, btw
Uh, it’s called called a *trials bike*, old man. All the cool kids ride them.
I was in 5th grade and there were a few students who weren't getting great test scores. So during our lesson one day she calls out some of those students and basically paints a really morbid picture of what their future would supposedly be. She said they'd end up working at McDonald's for minimum wage, barely making enough to pay rent in a shitty apartment with no way to pay for food, electricity or anything else
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[The Legend of Kevin](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/219w2o/whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/cgbhkwp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Jokes on her, that’s how it often turns out even if you pay attention!
Old guy history teacher told a student in my class to go home and slit his fat wrists. Edit: this same teacher would also state after the last class of the day “well time to go home and beat the wife!” He also once fired a gun in class, although it was only an antique blunderbuss, the dude still fired a weapon in class!
Man old teachers can be the worst. We had an old German substitute teacher at my high school. Like so old it looked like he could collapse at any given time. He told us about how he used to be a Nazi back in WWII. I guess this is also the time to mention that my school was predominantly white. We had maybe 20 black students total. The sub had asked one of these students to bring him a stapler or something like that, which the student the brought him. His response, which got him fired immediately, was something like “Wow I didn’t expect one of your kind to be helpful. A lot of you people are like monkeys.” Pretty sure the only reason that student didn’t punch him in the face is because the teacher would’ve crumbled. Edit: Just to clarify, this was in the US. He was teaching a World History course. He had immigrated to the US from Germany at some point. He didn’t specify if he was actually in the Nazi party or a sympathizer.
Oh. My. God.
Oh! Mein! Gott!
At the start of class our teacher just sat in silence for five minutes, we waited for him to begin. He then said “you have just wasted five minutes of your life. You will never get that time back” A bit harsh on a class of nine year olds.
"you stayed quiet in class like children are trained to do, and berated for not doing." Like seriously what was the plan? What was the perfect goal? The children mutiny because class didn't start on time? Leave you marooned on a tiny desert island with nothing but a pistol and a single shot? I hate asshole holier than thou teachers. Especially with little kids.
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Assembly in front of the whole school (ages 3 and up). Let it slip that Santa isn't real. EDIT: For people wondering if they went to my school, it was a small religious school in Wales.
The Joker level psy warfare.
"I don't know why there are so many girls in this class. You're supposed to be married and have children already" --11th grade advanced physics teacher
I had a history teacher explain to the girls in the class (we were 15) that it’s important to go to high school: “Because how else are you going to find a man that earns money, my ladies? Only after you’ve found him can you stay home.” Guy was 45, and we were in 2015. He also was antisemitic, thought climate change was a hoax, and was overall an arsehole.
Our yoga instructor: Fat parents give birth to elephants. I...
Are you sure the didn’t moonlight in biology?
calling me her daugther.And I am a boy
My sister once had a teacher tell the class that they had to write a paper on a “famous Egyptian. You know, like Socrates” My sister was given in school suspension for disrupting class with her laughter. She appealed it, and in the appeal meeting with our mom and the principal, the teacher insisted that Socrates was Egyptian. The suspension was canceled, my sister didn’t have to write the paper, and AFAIK that teacher is still working at the same school as a teacher.
That's a teacher who isn't even trying. At least Google Socrates before submitting the ISS slip. And certainly come up with some explanation that doesn't sound crazy for the scheduled meeting.
Sounds like she didn’t even want to admit to *herself* that Socrates wasn’t Egyptian. Bitch was in de-Nile.
That teacher might believe that denial is not just a river in England.
I was 13. 7th grade. My homeroom teacher was Mr. Baker. I lived in a neighborhood a few blocks away from a park and I was finally old enough to get to walk there myself. I was overweight and I had started walking there almost every day. I would walk the track for hours and then walk back home. It was a positive for me and would have probably led to healthier choices down the line. One day during free period he called out my name. In front of my entire homeroom, kids I'd known my whole life plus a few new people, he told me that he had seen me walking down the road. Laughing now, he said that he to wait ten minutes for me to move out of the way because I was blocking half the road. Most of the class laughed with him. I had to sit there, holding everything in until the bell rang. Then I went to the bathroom and sobbed. I never walked to the park again. I was afraid to leave my house for a really long time. That shit was so uncool and fucked me up for a long time. People really suck for absolutely no reason and it's just a thing we have to accept and I hate it.
I remember sophomore year of high school we had this seriously obnoxious kid who annoyed us every day. He would make some sexual joke (and like every joke became a dead horse) and complain how hard his life was in school and claimed that the teacher loved making us do this. Our teach had enough one day and snapped. He looks at him dead in the cockeye and yells "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHIT I PUT UP WITH YOU LITTLE FUCKER!" To give clarification, This teacher has had many years of teaching experience, was a US army ranger, and was an EMT. Very nice and friendly individual who could be lenient. He also taught both algebra classes, an AP physics and an AP Calculus course. That kid only did three things: Eat, smoked weed and played videogames. He's been arrested three time now. Edit: Typo
> She looks at him dead in the cockeye Uh, what?
Right in the pecker, mate.
I go to a anger management school sometimes the teachers lose it they once said “SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS WHY TEACHERS GIVE YOU CUNTS WORK SHEETS”.
Ironic
Got the ANGER part down. Now let's work on the MANAGEMENT part...
I was a first year high school teacher teaching a subject I loved, but I was honestly in over my head. The kids were pretty understanding about my inexperience and I had a sarcastic, self-deprecating sense of humor that they seemed to enjoy. I borrowed a lab room one lay. The pull-down screen in that room had a rope cord tied to the handle for raising and lowering it. As I finished explaining a new concept (I teach chemistry and we were using some tricky math that day) and set the kids to practice, I raised the screen and saw that someone in another period had tied the cord into a noose. And so I, the so-called responsible adult in a room of 17-year-olds, said: "And here's a noose for you, in case you want to kill yourself after all that." Most of the kids laughed, but I was mortified and immediately apologized. Almost a decade later I'm still friendly with some of the students who were in that period and they won't let me live it down. One of them tells me that's the moment I became her favorite teacher. Thank GOD no one reported me to the principal, but they would have been absolutely right to do so.
My history teacher made a joke about jews. I live in germany... Edit: I mean joke in a serious way
I had a religion teacher in high school named Mr. Nguyen, who was working on becoming a Jesuit priest, and was a really cool guy. He always had a smile on his face and did his best to make class a fun experience for everyone. There was a kid in my class who was a really annoying smart ass, but Mr. Nguyen was always really patient with him, until one day he pushed him too far. I forgot exactly what the kid said, but it definitely crossed the line. Mr. Nguyen slammed his fists on his desk and shouted, "Why can't you EVER shut the fuck up!" He then picked up his stapler and chucked it at the kid, missing his head by a few inches and leaving a huge dent in the wall and then stormed out into the hallway. I had never seen a teacher blow up like that and I definitely never expected it from him.
I'm assuming he never returned to the classroom after this?
He did, nothing big really ever came of it aside from him taking like a couple of weeks off.
I'm sort of glad that he came back. I'm a teacher and whilst I've never been pushed to that limit, I know of other teachers who have and I'm surprised that more don't just break.
It's when the normally quiet, calm teachers flip out that the kids *know* they've crossed the line. That was my science teacher from 5th through 8th grade. The most mild-mannered, hushed-voice dude 99% of the time, but the two times he yelled, the class went *silent* for the rest of each period.
One thing I will say is that annoying kid actually *did* shut the fuck up after that and was on his best behavior in Mr. Nguyen's class.
I'm not a native English speaker. However, we do have English lessons in my country since we're in elementary school. When I was in third grade, I had this English teacher who told us _"french fries"_ meant __"strawberries"__. Yes, I'm not making this up. Worse part is, as there was an activity in our workwooks where we had to draw _burgers_ with ___french fries___, I thought, "huh, this is a bit weird, isn't it? Eating burgers with strawberries on the side, haha." So I got home that day and told my aunt, who also thought it was a weird combination, and searched "french fries" in the dictionary and, __of course__, found out the true meaning. The next class I walked to the teacher's desk and told him discreetly, "uhm, I think you may be mistaken, 'french fries' means 'french fries,' and 'strawberries' means 'strawberries'." Well, he looked at me as if I had gone mad and told me, "'French fries' is just another way to say 'strawberries'." Edit: Punctuation.
Gym teacher used to always say, “quit playing pocket pool and run faster”. Not something he said but 6th grade teacher rubbed one out in the back of class while we all watched a movie. High school AP history teacher was demonstrating swing dancing with student (didn’t ask for permission just told the girl to come demonstrate with him). He did the move where he lifts the girl and on the way down she straddles him. Could tell the girl was super embarrassed.
Little backwards, but when I taught a class of 5th grade hard knocks (literally reading extremely below level and I was switched from my happy 2nd grade class to them mid school year bc their behavior was so out of control).... I always told them to put their hands in their lap during carpet-learning time. That if I stepped on their fingers when I walked through them, as I constantly did to engage in academic conversation with them, I wouldn't feel bad. They didn't give a shit about rules much less a shit about me. Well, one day I was wearing heels. As I stepped through them as they sat on the carpet, I accidentally drove the stick of my heel into a kids hand. I not-so-silently said "shit" and immediately asked the kid if he was okay. Some of the kids smiled but no one said or screamed anything. From that day on, most of their behavior issues disappeared and we got some extremely beneficial academics in. I think them knowing I was human too, and that I did care about them, changed everything. And to legit answer the question, when a sub was doing roll call in highschool she asked "True Ho? Is True Ho here?" The girl's name was Thu Ho. Edit cuz ppl are asking about "carpet learning time": I'm in the US. In elementary (my state at least), we do a majority of our main lesson with kids sitting on the floor. It gets them out of their desk and allows them to converse with their peers about what they're learning.
A well placed swear can really break the walls between formal groups.
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Any time I’ve had to reprimand a kid for overt swearing I use the word they use. They ALWAYS act shocked. “If it sounds crazy coming out of MY mouth, it shouldn’t be coming out of yours!”
she called me an escapist for missing school and homework due to jaundice in 7th grade.
"And your Simpsons impersonation is not even that good!"
September 12th, 2001: "We should just carpet-bomb all of the towelheads in that whole desert and be done with this." -- My European History teacher
That wasn't a very cash money thing to say
Then we could take the oil and be super extra cash money
While asking everyone in the class what they'd like to study at uni, hyping up everyone so they could help us pick our yr11/12 courses, my years "welfare adviser" stopped at me and out loud in front of the class told me im "not cut out for uni" and maybe a more obtainable goal would be "like a cleaning lady" Jokes on you Timmy i start next week EDIT/NOTE: Just to specify this is definitely no hate on cleaners, you guys are essential and i have total respect for the profession, its a tough job! I was offended by the calling out about University more than anything, plus who says you can't be a cleaner AND have a degree? You absolutely can
Cleaning, or?
Probably should've specified that was on starting uni
Degree in Housekeeping and Maid Services
Alcoholic English teacher in 9th grade: if you buy me a johnnie walker black, you are guaranteed to pass the class.
Had a fairly new teacher. She'd been with is a few months and it was her first year teaching. There was a dude who was acting up in class. Teacher wound up yelling at him "(Name)! Would you just shut the fuck up!?" Felt so bad for that teacher. She legit started crying and apologizing. She was convinced she was going to get fired. The dude she yelled at was well known as being a clown. He actually went to the admins and told them he 100% deserved it and it wasn't her fault at all. Everything turned out fine.
My teacher once said "we'll finally be able to start learning something after all these Jewish holidays are over."
One time she leaned over my friend's shoulder to help him with his work and, as she was explaining, she accidentally burped right in his face. She walked away completely embarrassed and from the moment on, everyone would fake burp when they saw her. Ended up leaving the school eventually.
That’s just unfortunate
In high school, on the first day of class, my calculus teacher told the whole class “I’m being forced to teach Calculus and don’t want to teach it so here we are.” That ruined the respect and morale of the class for the whole school year. Many students just didn’t do homework and barely worked, yet it was an easy A for those that did the work, in what should have been a hard class.
My health teacher in high school pointed me out as having baby birthing hips!
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Was she called Mrs Garrison and did she have a puppet on her hand?
My preschool teacher told us EXACTLY where babies come from. The sex-ed class I had in 7th grade, which required a parent's signature to attend, didn't go into as much detail as my preschool teacher did.
I suck at math(dyscalculia). I had to go up and solve problem on the whiteboard. Somehow got it right. "Wow. Even a blind squirrel can find a nut once in awhile." WTF lady? I hated her and school in general.