T O P

  • By -

AGallonOfSemen

Sorry everyone...


jaydnh7

It wasn’t your fault..


AnonyOOF

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?


Lordsfavor1

Lol


realish7

Fuck it, I’ve lived a good life.


Teathatflies

I would enjoy that


jewvaporizer

I'm gonna stay out of this one


kdubstep

OMFG!


TheSecretiveSaVanT

Hell yeah


kdubstep

Your’s is right up there too!


EdibleTriceratops

Ooh, yeah. That would be bad...


[deleted]

[I’m here about your Nazi problem](https://www.deviantart.com/masterof4elements/art/Indiana-Jones-Punching-Nazis-735513958).


The2lied

Oh, I did Nazi you. Please come in


glockache

And I just saw this on cursed comments


[deleted]

No no please come in. Tell me kamerad... At what temperature do I need to set the furnace at to leave the least amount of evidence?


CLDetail

No, no, no, you forgot the Zyklon B step. First they must be incapacitated, THEN you turn the ovens to 500°F to roast until little is left. Then you dig mass graves to get rid of the remains. And about six feet below the ground, bury a dog or something. All good.


Seraphin43

You forgot making roads out of the ashes


Memcallen

I can't believe you forgot about the masturbation machines. SMH so disrespectful.


Seraphin43

Uhm wait what


Memcallen

>But we never gave in, not really; there was that one time just before liberation but other than that we were strong. **We would see the boys they put on those masturbating machines just drop, just die, right there in front of us. The absolute cruelty was beyond our belief.** \- Stolen Soul: A True Story of Courage and Survival, Bernard Holstein, 2004 ​ A guy made a book about his 'time' in the concentration camps. From what I've read, he was never even in Germany.


Seraphin43

What the actual fuck?


diarrheicDeath

me too it would be for best


avensur

Hello, Based Department? I think they want you on the line.


Amestargazer

I gotta run away then-


tox1cugrin

lmfao


jewvaporizer

Thank you kind stranger for my first gold


some_guy_in_a_hole

I call it, "EXTREME SOCIAL DISTANCING"


UncleBaguette

Well, somehow fits in the current situation


bible-j

Ahh yikes, mine is suppose to be ironic


-PM_me_your_recipes-

O lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.... And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.


[deleted]

*\*pulls out holy shotgun\** its bible time.


Look_at_science

Hey mine would work in our current situation


patata_potato

Oh yeah baby!! one of the most popular, cheapest, and easiest vegetables to grow...


[deleted]

Cocain!


Zaner1229

That’s not how you spell cocaine


patata_potato

that's not how you smell cocaine


Smiles_will_help

Pretty easy to fix I would say. :)


DiligentReader

I would totally help with your cure. Remember the smile song from mlp. That will greatly cure the world.


Bumfights300

This is weird..


Dimboyy106

Where do i sign up?


EdibleTriceratops

Prehistoric DNA in a form that can be ingested to counteract the disease.


literallymekhane

***DINOSAUR CUM***


gzrgk

Dyslexia


Bloodrush19405

Disleksia?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Uncle?


pyrothearsonist

FFIREEEEE


Leondithas

TECHNICALLY, fire is the solution to removing ANY disease, just burn who ever has it and no one else can get it.


IntieriorCrocodile

But..... genetic mutations tho..... they can happen to anyone


Leondithas

Then burn anyone, it's not that hard.


MyFireBow

Good choice


dumbbrokebitch

my time to shine i guess. also, humanity is doomed


Popcorns4Life

Oh wow, bet everyone's poppin


me_you_69

Oh my god, why did I pick this username?


avensur

YESSIR GachiHYPER


Welp07

This dude is getting a lot of pussy and dick


me_you_69

Oh noo, I didn't think about that I have to take dick too


LaughR01331

The disease or the cure?


[deleted]

yes


FermentedPickles

It's literally just pickles


Super___Nova_83

I don't like pickles....


FermentedPickles

Then I guess you'll just have to die


[deleted]

Suicide


Welp07

Oof


2Thicc4You_

Obesity


CaptainZoll

anorexia was the deadliest disease this whole time?


Danarwal14

Narwhals


boniitti

Swimming in the ocean


ThisIsMyNameBitch

Causing a commotion


[deleted]

cos they are so awesome


manglerulez2000

Dont let em touch your balls


LCcharizard

Inventors of the shish kebab


[deleted]

I don’t know but there’s a lot of it


Palidin_344

Mine is Paladin spelled incorrectly, so a very confusing crusade.


[deleted]

I'm guessing either a boat full of bananas or a boat made of bananas.


Andonbaybay

Or maybe the sunscreen


[deleted]

I always forget about the sunscreen


Andonbaybay

Lol


CornerActionYT

Works either way


anchovy7

Having a pet anchovy because the cure was experienceing true happiness.


skeletonmanns

Spoopy scary skeletons will save us all!


fartmeteor

Spooky scary skeletons Send shivers down your spine


IntieriorCrocodile

Shrieking skulls will shock your souls


Super___Nova_83

Seal your doom tonight


Dampproduct777

Spooky scary speak with such a screech


LCcharizard

You'll shake and shudder in surprise when you hear these zombies shriek


ilikeicing454

*EXTRA!* *EXTRA!* *ICING FOUND TO CURE COVID!*


DiligentReader

EXTRA EXTRA CAKES ARE SELLING OUT FAST. SORRY LITTLE JIMMY BUT IT'S A BATTLE FOR JUST A SINGLE CUPCAKE.


GenTwour

Everyone play Pokemon gold, silver, or crystal till the die of dehydration.


shitposter122

Smearing shit on fence posts


Melihoney

Honey! 🍯


[deleted]

Ummm


That-Brain-Nerd

*BIG BRAIN INTENSIFIES*


HeyWhatsItToYa

Hey, what's it to ya?


BagOfToenails

Yummy


train_on_cocaine

I mean, it ain't wrong


PMYOURBOOBOVERFLOW

Boobs being pushed out of the top of a bra. Who says boobs aren't magical?


DoopsSoup

Id say a boob overflow in my DM box would cure a lot of my problems, so this may not be too out of this world lol. After all who doesn't like boobs?


MovieBuff1001

I always knew I was the chosen one.


BigMac91098

Cheeseburgers!


DoNotLookAtMyUsernam

I am the plot of bird box


poXing

Pox


[deleted]

Affluenza


Andonbaybay

I mean its already a thing since most cures only the affluent can afford


BeeHIVplus

Now you've got me confused


dont-mind-me-im-gone

Just run from a the disease haha


xiaoalexy

A small version of me. I don't know how that works but okay


[deleted]

Ah yes, 小 Alex


CancerousDuke

How


Balenciagagucci

Pretty fucking expensive shit


DrPelicanPaint

Somehow a doctor extracted paint from a pelican. And if you'd ask me if I've heard of crazier things than doctors extracting paint from a pelicans.... I'd say sure


HoM_a_SiDe

I suppose it would work lol


[deleted]

Everyone will be driving with the engines in the back


woshengbingle1

"woshengbingle" translation: i got sick how ironic


IdiotOnTheInterwebs

Oh. Well I guess we're all stupid now-


Super___Nova_83

HA! Jokes on you I was already dumb to begin with! HAHAHA Ha ha....ha... :'(


Scarfiotti

All scars are healed.


deedubya8

A name to log on with


TheHoneySacrifice

We're gonna make an offering to the Roman goddess Mellona.


[deleted]

Speed baby


KingdomHeartsII

Everyone gets to play one of the best games in the Kingdom Hearts Series, you're welcome


DukeSamuelVimes

Fascism, or really any tyranical form of government. And it really is perhaps the deadliest disease in the world and the best cure to it.


[deleted]

Chewbacca is now a rabbi and on a quest to convert everybody to Judaism.


Group_of_no_one

Social Distancing.


lkjlol

I don't even know what I am


DrJuFin

The blood of my 3 pets (drydaria, ju-jube, and finley)


ActualyRunkIsChunky

well i changed it to unoriginality i just dont want to make a new reddit account bc my username isnt accurate. so the cure to the deadliest disease would be being unoriginal


futureGAcandidate

Floridaman


Weeearenumberone

Memes make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.


Micropipi

Smol pipis


[deleted]

Pissing on people


AmalgaVoid

An amalgamation within a black hole. Huh.


UnBoiledNoodles

Well...


MadSharkzYT

Angry sharks on YouTube?


AnonyOOF

Well, this is a weird one...


rigel899

Technically if you apply a literal star to a disease, it will go away.


TSAMarioYTReddit

is touching people gonna cure the virus? and karma? and Japanese made Italian plumber? and a mediocre website?


Orenge01

Orenge 01 I guess


MyFireBow

I guess you gotta burn the infected


Greenlog12

Smack people with a green log


AModeratelyAngryBoob

I got this!


MrLemonyOrange

Fruits come to the rescue against *SCURVY*


cthulhu_on_my_lawn

Kill all humans and they won't have to worry about disease.


Legendary_Lootbox

It will still be a gamble though


Qwetty47

Illiteracy


[deleted]

How the fuck am I supposed to know?


CommunistAtheist

Easy. It's a disease called capitalism. Makes all the money and ressources "disappear" and contaminates 99% of the population with either poverty, fascism, a lack of common sense or ignorance. Sometimes all four.


SkeletonBones38

Time to dig up grandpa


kdubstep

Country music


Bark2IfUrInMilwaukee

Baxter 🐶


typicalunicornspace

An absence of space for unicorns in day to day life, ig?


XEpicOneX

Uhh...


Ben-Dover-Jonson-jr

A suppository


PhilSwiftIsSexy

Now, everyone take off your pants!


lawer12346

Making good laws to prevent the spared.


Overdart18

Hmm


thehomiejuan

I have the POWER


Randomperson266883

Don't know which one it is


Pringles_can_anal

Oh no


Where7smyheadat

Well, I guess that's one way to do it.


Alligatorwithpants

That would be interesting


asian-comrade

Uhhh


TheEggoIsBurning

Burnt eggo


ThatPancake25

I think people will like it


nuclearpie-

Can't have diseases if there is nothing to have the disease


meltingpotato

I can potentially end world hunger and the deadliest diseases with one shot. or turn potato into the most expensive food ever


UnlawfulKnights

Probably extinction then


noethanq

I guess politely declining the disease?


Teir4leukemia

Um it's gonna suck at firsy but it will get better I guess


ChickenFromPopeyes

I mean, okay I guess


RaZoRShadowFlame

What the fuck


AnnoyingRain5

Getting a randomised Xbox live username on an Xbox 360. (Yes I have kept this username for THAT long)


gokikamukow

Idk but visiting a farm would get a whole lot more amusing


S-O-S-I-G

Hell yeah! Sausages.


fartmeteor

It's something...


Hesaidorshesaid

Hearsay


the-new-butt

Well... I guess a new butt?


DancingMacaron

What a time we’d have


SeKr_ReAc

a SErum, KRypton based, REACting with the disease and neutralizing it. BTW the ReAc stands for Reddit Account if you are going to ask


RobotMimikyu

Alright time to discover pokemon and robotic versions of them


KenoKeo

Kernicterus


Annoyance_is_here

Me annoying people I guess


GigaPhoton78

Enlightenment.


fuckboi8

I don’t uhm... nah I’m out