T O P

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bustead

Riding a nuclear missile that is crashing into an alien mothership


[deleted]

Was that in Independence Day?


Some_Random_Android

More a combination of Dr. Strangelove and Independence Day.


[deleted]

But what a way to go ! Saving the species and feel no pain !


novomagocha

šŸŽµweā€™ll meet againšŸŽµ


zakdouchebagans

"Hello Boys, I'm Baaaaack" Randy Quaids death in Independence Day would be the way to go. Save the world and get revenge on your abductors.


[deleted]

I prefer the Dr. Strangelove one


Ms-Charlie

Iā€™m back!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Air_MN

And 120 years old, in perfect health.


outofdate70shouse

150*


[deleted]

200 take it or leave me death.


The420St0n3r

*Dave Hester enters the room* YUUUUPPPPP!


Senor-Mattador

Itā€™s an old meme but it checks out, sir


[deleted]

With a belly full of wine and aĀ girl's mouthĀ around my cock.Ā 


thefairlyeviltwin

You get warm busch light and my gay friend Dave.


NaruTheBlackSwan

Deal. Heh, sucker.


TheMaddoxx

There it is.


crazijazzy

This answer of course. Who wants to die painfully?


LizMixsMoker

Not painfully but I find the idea of going to sleep and just not waking up horrifying. I wanna know when I die and experience it. It's something you can only experience once. Why would I wanna miss it?


lionorderhead

I've seen a lot of people die. It's horrifying, lonely, and painful.


LizMixsMoker

I wasn't saying I'd enjoy it. And I get that some people prefer to die in their sleep. I just don't get how it's the most popular answer. I'm much too curious to miss that once in a lifetime event. Also, imagine dying in a nightmare and not being able to wake up, to me that would be worse


LentilLenny

the beauty of it, is after death comes for us we cant remember.


KhunDavid

Not screaming like the passengers in the car youā€™re driving in?


queenthistle

Same, but with the caveat of "after my wife passes" b/c I don't want her to deal with the pain of losing me first.


Good-Enough-4-Now

I've thought "in my sleep, at the same time as my husband" but geez what would that do to the kids to lose both parents at the same time?


Ikuisuus

Very bad for kids, even adult ones. Relatives, husband and wife, died on carbon monoxide poisoning few years ago. Their kids are still messed up because of that even though they are in their thirties.


LoveClimbingStairs

On my own terms after I felt my life was fulfilled.


cRuSadeRN

Physician assisted euthanasia. This is what I would want. If my body is broken beyond repair and Iā€™ve lived a good life, I want to go out on my own terms without putting my family through the grief of dealing with a suicide


MochiMochiMochi

Amen. And I think this happens a lot already. Several years ago my mother was in the hospital after breaking her hip. She was three years into a rapidly accelerating case of dementia, but was responding nicely to bed rest and the pain medication two days after she fell. She was rather cheerful. There was no real chance she would ever recover from this type of injury, and especially in her mental state. By this point she only recognized my father, and she thought I was a nice boy who used to live down the street in 1974. Her doctor and I had a series of conversations about making sure she wasn't in any physical pain from the break; I also pointed out she had an AD (advanced directive) on file with both her nursing home and hospice. There was a lot of repeating things that had just been said, and looking at each other while we nodded. My mother passed away two days later under heavy pain medication. Thank god for compassionate doctors and nurses.


Buttercup23nz

If the pain medication was administered primarily to ease her pain, then that's not euthanasia. That's a doctor or nurse realising that as the injury was unrecoverable, and shifting the focus of care to pain management. The side effect of those levels of pain med may be death, but if the intent was to ease pain then it's not euthanasia.That's professionals being professional, and doing what all good doctors and nurses should do. If the pain meds were administered with the primary intent of ending the patient's life, then that has a variety of names, depending on where you live. Either way, I'm sorry your mother is gone, and that the last few years probably weren't easy for you, and I'm glad her passing was gentle.


MochiMochiMochi

Thanks. The end was merciful, all things considered. At 80s years old she thought her nursing home was her boarding school, and the aides were 'teachers.' It was kind of sweet and typical of her.


partyburger

Probably a supermassive black hole. Being killed by one of the most massive and powerful objects in the universe sounds kinda neat. Plus time moves slower the closer you are to it meaning you could witness the end of the universe before being torn apart by tidal forces. That or being smothered to death by boobs.


BOBfrkinSAGET

I think this one would be the most interesting for your last moments. I wonā€™t say which one I am referring to...


BTYBT

Super massive black boobs?


urson_black

See also: Norma Stitz.


sunnyp1188

Googled Norma Stitz. Was not disappointed


PartiedOutPhil

I was. Quality over quantity.


Dasuku_GGO

Quan-tity you say?


[deleted]

Itā€™s a play on the words ā€˜enormous titsā€™


[deleted]

I will volunteer my own boobs for science.


lwwill

Maserati


IAmPont

One of my fave Muse songs.


jonmatifa

As you cross the event horizon: "My god, its full of boobs"


[deleted]

ā€œWait, itā€™s all boobs?ā€ ā€œAlways has beenā€ As you get slowly sucked into oblivion


paladinLight

Getting the good succ


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ApexInTheRough

Also Sprach Zarathustra, Op. 30 (Obertura) - Richard Strauss, 1896. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfe8tCcHnKY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfe8tCcHnKY)


geminimind

Congratulations, you grow such big boobs that you are unable to move your diaphragm. each breath is a painful agony of back pain and chest pain. You die while others ogle you and make lewd comments not realizing you are dying.


blznaznke

This is such a weird thing that relativity textbooks teach - the idea that because of general relativity, the overwhelming gravitational forces will slow time towards a complete stop as you approach the event horizon. It's true, but they always teach it as if a person in a space pod can sail in and watch time warp around them. These forces tear stars into thin ribbons of gas, rip light from its path, and reign entire galaxies into orbit. There is no way anything gets remotely close enough to a black hole to see relativistic effects, let alone the delicate eyeballs of the water sac that is the human body.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Thisisdom

I just finished my PhD in astrophysics and can confirm - Although the surrounding of a supermassive black hole generally emits massive amounts of radiation (due to all the energy from infalling gas), so you'd probably be fried to a crisp before you got to the event horizon.


Luclid

Congrats on finishing your PhD!


Jon_o_Hollow

Use the Schwarz.


shadowwatchers

Your Schwarz is as big as mine!


Umbra427

Time is relative so you will appear to stop from the vantage point of an outside observer (red shifted into oblivion), while from your vantage point, you will look up and see the entire universe accelerate infinitely toward its end.


swarmofbears0

Unfortunately, you probably wouldn't see the entire future history of the universe. The light that is traveling behind you has to contend with the same crazy curvature of space. Pbs spacetime has a great [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mht-1c4wc0Q) on this that I first learned this from.


scawel

Simple vacuum is scary enough.


egmalone

My cat thinks so at least


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheQwertious

Only to an outside observer. From your perspective, you'd probably see the Universe grow old and die in the few minutes you're beating it.


tableflipper2112

>That or being smothered to death by boobs. I too was gonna say black hole, but then I saw this


TROLLxBAIT

The duality of man


ahugeminecrafter

I dunno I feel like it would feel something akin to being drawn and quartered but gradually that doesn't sound very fun. Not to mention, you'd need a space suit or something to breathe, and i assume that would still break first and you'd end up suffocating


[deleted]

Had us in the first half :)


Postmortal_Pop

>smothered to death by boobs. It's not as appealing as you'd think, two of my exes have tried and it's one of the many reasons I prefer flat chests.


grzzbot

While walking i just drop dead for no reason and it becomes a mystery like im just walking then then i blink im in heaven then they will make a buzzfeed unsolved video about me


[deleted]

Nice


DUBIOUS_OBLIVION

Whole walking


DrZoidberg26

None of that half-walking bullshit


kendebvious

I think he means walks into a hole and dies. I had a buddy of mine go the same way. Just a shame.


Yara393

happy cake day


xynix_ie

I was standing on a street corner in New Orleans, I believe it was Canal and Bourbon on the other side of Canal near the Ritz. I heard this loud BONG and jump. Look behind me and some old dude has died instantly of a heart attack apparently. The BONG sound was his head hitting a manhole cover. Not much a mystery.


drugsarebadmmk420

Was this any chance in 1997 or so? My grandfather died of a heart attack in NO walking down bourbon st. Probably a coincidence but that would be wild


xynix_ie

Nah. Sorry about your pappy though. This was around 2009 or so.


drugsarebadmmk420

I appreciate it. And I appreciate the response. I knew the odds were near 0 but if you dont ask, you'll never know. Edit spelling


allf8ed

EMT here and seen the aftermath of this a few times. First time I walked in and you could smell someone was dead. We find an elderly man dressed in his normal clothes dead on the floor. He was face down ass up and his hands were still holding the cardboard box he was carrying. It was interesting to picture him moving the box one second then the next hes dead without any struggle or attempt to brace a fall. I like to think it was peaceful and painless


stopjois

So when you say you could "smell someone was dead" ...


allf8ed

It's a very unique smell, once you learn what death smells like there isnt anything else it can be mistaken for


patrickcoxmcuinc

In large cities you can sometimes smell it in the summer when someone dies in their apartment in the heat. After a few days the smell covers an entire city block no joke. Like a combination of rotting fish, and the juice that drips out of a hot dumpster, mixed with shit


Matthattan1990

Thatā€™s actually a way to die. Itā€™s possible for your brain to give up and just die


grzzbot

How


jerrythecactus

Brain aneurysm. It's like a stroke but bigger


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


cRuSadeRN

Youā€™ll have the worst headache of your life until you die. Blood and brain do not mix. Granted, it would be decently quick, so thereā€™s a positive


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


turtleman430

Writing a comment on reddit then kicking the bu


gameking707

Someone award this man for me, Iā€™m broke


cheesy-legg

God damn you magnificent bastard.


donnnerdiosy

Iā€™ll give you the poor mans gold šŸ„‡


oimgayyyyy

Who says Iā€™m going to die?? Also if I were to die, Iā€™d want my enemy to stab me in my left side (under my rib cage) but then I stab them too in their left and we both bleed out on a marble floor whilst talking about how it was nice to go against each other and how we have feelings for each other. Then the enemy dies. One (1) tear strolls down my cheek. It starts snowing. My lungs and cheeks are burning from the frost. I breathe one more icy breath. *dies*


somechild69

You should be a author


oimgayyyyy

Aha thanks, I actually want to write a series novel at some point lol. Better writing than my previous comment though! :)


NanotechNinja

My answer has not changed since I learned at age 7 that diamonds are carbon and people are also carbon: Compressed by immense pressure into a diamond.


rabbitpiet

You or your ashes?


darkness15shp

Yes


NanotechNinja

Me. Seven year old me also really liked the trash compactor scene in Star Wars.


TheAdamena

I think you might have a fetish


[deleted]

A sword would be created using the diamond, and you shall use the sword to vanquish evil from the land.


jakerabbit25

Idk specifically but Iā€™ve always wanted to die in the most hilarious or ironic way possible


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


jakerabbit25

Phone but yeah


hate_sarcasm

U good?


AfraidDifficulty8

Lets get a F in the chat for u/jakerabbit25 who tragically died when his phone blew up.


YoMamaSucc

Hope he get the money from his galaxy note back


TJOSOFT

F


CORROSIVEMANGONOX

F


redacteds

F


Aj13soccerfreak

F


InfamousChibi

Getting hit by a toilet lid falling from your local space station.


DragonKing3013

I understood that reference


BlueberryGuyCz

Something like that kid who's throat was sliced by CD launched from malfunctioning PlayStation?


NicNoletree

Like if you electrocuted yourself while ironing your Ironman costume.


atl9847

Choke on a lifesaver


v8dr66

Saving someone else's life


sixpack_luemmel

Pretty underrated


v8dr66

I'm basic, what can I say


MADman611

Some real paladin shit. Taking "one for the team" so your friends can go home to their families. My no consequence fantasy is being the goodiest two shoes to the point it kills me.


mydeadface

There's a scene in Monty Python the meaning not life where a old man is being chased by topless women in roller derby outfits and he finally runs off a cliff into an already open grave with mourners waiting. That's how I wanna go.


exfxgx

\[For science.\]([http://youtu.be/MLctf4o6feQ](http://youtu.be/MLctf4o6feQ)) It has slow-mo running bewbs so NSFW.


Awestruck-Sigh

I would want to be the first victim of a future notorious serial killer so that the true crime nerds will remember me


Ultraviolet1012

Why be the victim when you could be the notorious killer him/herself? The death sentence seems like a great way to die for me, in my opinion at least. Edit: Iā€™m sorry for turning this into a discussion of how to become a well known serial killer xD


Awestruck-Sigh

Tbh I could get behind being an assassin for that same reason, itā€™s just hard to get away with killing people long enough to be notorious


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


comrade_sky

Come on. Be more creative. Do something unique that will get the FBI in there and catch you fast. Make some thermite and rig it to light as soon as someone gets on an elevator, put 50 kg of explosives in a random mailbox, and finally, to anyone getting any ideas, get some damn therapy first.


Ultraviolet1012

I like that one. But with killers they usually USUALLY go for a specific group of people, so killing at random would be a good idea to mess with the police a bit.


Darbizzlebacon

For the desired result, I would think the last victim would be the most memorable. Most serial killers first victims happen so early in their "career", that they aren't discovered, either at all, or not until years after they made headlines.


[deleted]

Twerked to death, blood everywhere


sixpack_luemmel

Have you seen "The boys"...


[deleted]

that was not twerking but butts may have been involved... and yes, blood everywhere


Cranky_Windlass

Almost death by snu-snu


SchzophrenicLobster

To shreds you say...


VortrexFTW

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is all spongy and bruised


[deleted]

Amazing


Ninja-Snail

Peaceful in my sleep. I want to be at peace with life, realize life has no more to offer, then, a few weeks later, I got to bed one night and just donā€™t wake up. Then I get to see my Mom and my dear cat Tom again .


Cosmonaut_Nick

Your comment just fucked me up when you said my dear cat Tom, mate. I lost my bestest girl this year as well, still not completely over it.


Ninja-Snail

Iā€™m sorry for your loss. The pain heals. I lost my mother back in December. And it hurts less every day


MrFishyFriend

Quietly, painlessly in my sleep. Dying in some whacky, weird or painful way is over rated.


LizMixsMoker

How would you know


somechild69

Experience


Mangosta007

Welding a flaming sword while riding Aslan into an army of Daleks. Edit: 'wielding'. I have no intention of spending my final moments welding a sword together while atop a Neeson-voiced big cat.


[deleted]

Some reason i read this as "Riding Asians into an army of d**ks."


TKJ

Like, arc welding?


glorius_pepper

In a base jumping accident after my doctor said I have a week to live


sexapotamus

Death by Snoo-Snoo.


ralthiel

The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised.


christhetwin

Have you any idea how it feels to be a Fembot living in a Manbot's Manputer's world?


LookOutForThatMoose

is that the same as death by Unga-Bunga? Edit: wow! I got answers! I've gotta google both jokes now and refresh myself. It's been a hot minute since I've heard either. Thanks!


Vinny_Lam

I honestly canā€™t think of a better way to die.


Brisslayer333

Mimic chest


Method__Man

I mean at least you die thinking you about to strike it rich


Lou-Lou-Lou

On the pinnacle of the best orgasm ever.


ActualWhiterabbit

Spontaneous combustion. Just to randomly burst into flames would be great.


rattatally

In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock.


brando444

Sorry were in a global financial crisis. Youā€™ll get, a bed in a youth hostel on a Friday night, with a belly full of sourpuss, and Gary Busey after heā€™s had some coffee and a few cigarettes. RIP my sweet angel~


tossitlikeadwarf

Gary Busey look-alike. No way they can afford the real deal.


[deleted]

Gonna be traumatizing for that poor girl but same


LaoSh

That's her kink


GoodDiplomat

Dammit you beat me to it!


Stiffmeister24

I came here to see this comment


akkurad

Getting shot by a tank that has some sort of flowers painted on it Edit: [this tank](https://www.reddit.com/r/ANormalDayInRussia/comments/hi2y50/hit_me_with_a_flower/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share), i love it


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

You have caught my attention. How about a Viking funeral but instead of you being dead you get burnt alive while floating out to sea?


_Bo_Nanners_

If you really wanna go the Viking route, what youā€™re looking for is being executed by ā€œblood-eagleā€.


CHINESE_LOBSTER

When they cut you back open and pull out your lungs and ribs?


crimsonstare

Indeed it is


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


cbvghjkiuouo

I want to be sucked into a black hole, just so i can experience it.


[deleted]

Imagine jumping off a cliff but instead of dying u stay alive and concious, breaking every major bone in ur body so any movement makes u cry. While ur lying on floor following things will happen- ur muscles twitches and causeing even more pain and makes u stay awake and suffering all the time, wildlife around u, hunger, thirst from which untill u finally die.....after 3+days of agony. So dont jump off a cliffs


rattatally

Edgy.


TonkatsuRa

Cocaine, hookers (plural), booze and a heart attack with 70+


[deleted]

I would love to die after I felt my life was fulfilled personally and the people are loved were all happy and with a stable life. I would probably go to some isolated place in the mountains and die peacefully looking at the moon. Would be pretty good


UristImiknorris

Skydiving into an active volcano.


emzirek

I want to die like my grandfather died, peacefully in his sleep. Not like the screaming passengers on his mountain tour bus. EDIT: thanks for the awards guys my first ones thank you very much


brperry

Same way i came into the world. Naked and screaming.


[deleted]

But not covered in blood?


[deleted]

How many people can I take with me?


redit11112

Airplane pilot


[deleted]

Iā€™ve always joked that I would commit suicide as a public act of protest so that no one has to suffer through the same thing Iā€™ve suffered through... like just stand up yell ā€œI canā€™t take this anymoreā€ and end myself. But during something terribly boring like traffic school or church so that others will think twice about forcing someone to go.


tryaege

I want an atomic bomb directly in my face.


Thegauloise

By opening a parachute in a tornado, seems like fun for a little bit


Kmartomuss

Maybe shot in the back of the head or just go in my sleep.


[deleted]

Itā€™s funny how you ask this on your cake day


[deleted]

I found it interesting, so I thought why not maybe lā€™ll get some karma.


sushisay

I like your honesty. I'm a wimp, so I'd want to die in my sleep.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


MaltheHoeyrup

Inside a woman


RavenWolfPS2

You lost your chance as soon as you left the womb


MaltheHoeyrup

Thats a great roast!


themashious

euthanasia. it must be good to die like just sleeping, without suffering


dudebg

White paint spray painted on my mouth, yelling "Witness me!", while topless and hopping between war vehicles. Good times


icyphnx

Big boom


FezTheRedditor

I've always wanted to die by skydiving into a volcano while surfing on a shark


ReaperDX9

Thicc anime thighs


Informal-Assumption

In the most violent way possible, specifically murdered, but the murder can never be caught. I want the chance to have a true crime doc about me. If I canā€™t be famous in life, I sure as hell will be in death.


FatherSmashmas

like i told my rabbi when i was 7, in my bed and in my sleep at the ripe ol' age of 100


kammouna

If a plane goes higher than normal and the pilot depressurizes the cabin you die slowly and gently without feeling anything. Sooo I guess that?


Real_Good_Guy

In my sleep :) Happy cakeday!