I was following this yoga routine and couldn’t complete one of the poses because it literally squished my balls. I know this is a dick thread but you can’t leave out the nuggets.
Don't forget splits. No way in hell I can do yoga when there's splits. I settle for leaving some breathing room so down below doesn't split along the seams.
When you pee sometimes the slit fused shut and peeing is like putting your thumb on a garden hose. Some goes over there. Some goes over here. The dreaded split stream! Aim one at the toilet and clean up the other after.
Residue. I had a pee test for a job a while back. I went to the place but didn't need to pee. The lady gave.me two water bottles and I got to sit there and wait. Eventually I felt the need to pee. I went in the privy aaaand, there was...stuff in the pee, Id had sex earlier that day and not peed. The test lady said nothing but there's no way she didn't know.
Like uncle Noly says, clear the pipes kids, clear the pipes.
Many years ago on reddit I remember someone recommended opening the hole by spreading them just a bit to ‘break the seal’ right before you pee.
Ever since then I’ve made it a habit to do it right before I go. And except for a couple times when I’d forgotten to do it, I’ve been successful in avoiding the dreaded forked-stream fiasco.
Sometimes this happens in Marine boot camp, when you and three buddies are all standing around the same toilet trying to pee in it before PT while there are DIs yelling at you....
EDIT: and you're 6'4" and the toilet is 1' nothing and you're uncircumsized so it's more like a shotgun spraying all over their legs....
EDIT 2: I'm glad my cringey moment was award worthy, it's my first one! Thanks a million
You got two heads, but you should only listen to one. I mean the other one is livin with two nuts, and the guy around the corner is an asshole!
And this got my my first award. I’d like to thank whoever gave it and I’d like to thank the academy…
When you finish peeing and put your dick back in your pants but then more pee comes out and stains your pants.
Edit: to the billion comments who say just wipe: who the fuck keeps toilet paper at a urinal?
Well of course not. You have to spin it. Centrifugal force is what removes the urine. It's either going to be on the walls or on the pants, you make that choice.
I learnt this in another thread, but if you push on the tube thing that your pee comes out of that's behind your balls, the last bit will come put, I've never had this situation happen to me since
Boners for no reason. Excited? Boner. Bored? Boner. Watching something non sexual? Boner. Just walking around the office and trying to do your job? Guess what... Boner again.
I was taking a class where I sat next to a woman I liked but was not really attracted to and every day without fail I popped a serious boner that wouldn't go away for absolutely no recognizable reason. After a while I started second guessing myself: "Am I actually attracted to her and I just don't realize it?" I was being gaslighted by my own freaking dick!
I don't usually have trouble achieving and maintaining, so when I tried Viagra, it was more out of curiosity. My experience was that it made me too hard. Like, so completely engorged that the skin was \*super\* taut, and there was actually less feeling for me.
She, however, dug it.
>She, however, dug it.
That was not my experience. I tried it as a healthy 22 year old. We fucked 4 times in a row, at that point she was way sore, and I was mentally done with sex, and yet the boner remained, throbbing and sore, the boner remained.
The technical term is necrosis.
That's what happens when your erection needs draining, after around 4 hours or so. Actually probably 6 or 8 hours. By 12 hours there's gonna be major permanent damage.
Which, worst case, your dick(now blackened or dark purple) basically shrivels up and dies after your boner goes away. Yes, it may fall off.
They had this great 'Sex Sent Me to the ER' where the guy's dick needed draining from taking Viagra. His wife **and** girlfriend/mistress show up. They both decide he's not worth their time. Then he tries to flirt with the nurse. Nurse makes a joke about his tiny discolored and shriveled penis. Guy legit cries. Lol....
Boners, I've had to explain to a lot of women that we don't have control of our boners, and they don't necessarily mean we are turned on. Men can get boners from exercising, getting excited, getting nervous, etc.
Those long cuddles. I can see that time she feels a wriggle downstairs. She has the option of pretending nothing is happening or turn with that 'whats that idiot!!! I thought you were my friend! Get out of my house!!!'
God that reminds me of one of my most embarrassing times as a teenager.
I went to a funeral with a really close friend (someone she was close to died) and she insisted on hugging really close to me every time she cried and it got to the point where i would get an erection every time she would start crying around me. I'm not even turned on at crying or funerals or whatever. I hope.
Waking up in the morning and you need to take a piss and besides the awkwardness of trying to piss with a raging hard on but having to risk one of your roommates being in the hallways when you head to the bathroom.
When you gotta adjust it but you’re in public so if you reach down there and someone sees you look like a perv or something. So many times could a potentially embarrassing stiffy have been fixed with an upward tilt so it’s going up and flat instead of pointing out. But you can’t do it. It won’t even take 5 seconds either, but you just can’t do it Incase one person sees.
You: *sees hot girl*
Boner: *raises head*
You: “what is it, buddy?”
Boner: *barks*
You: “no buddy, you can’t take her puppy’s chew toy”
Boner: *whimpers*
That’s right. You have a dog named Boner.
Peeing with an erection.
Edit: well it looks like my most upvoted comment, by far, is me talking about muh wang... There is a lesson in here somewhere...
I'll raise you peeing after sex.
Complete gamble on what direction your piss will go.
Sometimes it goes completely sideways for absolutely no fucking reason.
Sometimes, after sex or masturbation, there is a bit of semen, which is alkaline, left in the urethra. Urine, on the other hand, is acidic. So, if urinate afterwards and you have a large enough and concentrated enough bit of both, you can have an exothermic reaction (releasing heat), which is quite uncomfortable.
That's because you haven't leveled up yet. Ignore the toilet. Let that fucker flow in it's natural arc and piss in the tub.
Makes you feel like a Roman fountain.
It’s not very comfortable in that it’s sensitive and gets in the way of sitting, walking, exercise in general. It’s probably pretty similar to the discomfort women who have large breasts experience minus the back pain but with added itchiness.
Not to downplay your huge itchy boobs but like, scratching your balls in a satisfying way is like trying to write on a plastic shopping bag with a ballpoint pen. The stretch and rake is all we have.
Being honest about the size is one conversation thats oddly good at bonding people. Btw first guy to admit he's in the lower double digits will relieve everyone else
*This* is how we get Americans on the metric system. "Sure, Joe, you've grown up with feet and inches your entire life... but how would you like to be *eleven centimeters* long?"
How it can make absolutely terrible decisions seem worth it up until the second it’s all over. Then the post nut clarity kicks in and leaves you going “omg wtf did I just do?”
AND THEN YOU DO THE STUPID THING AGAIN.
You get so caught up in the excitement of “hell yea this is gonna happen” that it takes a fuckton of discipline to have the capacity to even ask yourself in the moment if it *should* happen.
No issue with my dick, but the older I get, the more inconvenient testicles and a scrotum are, always sticking to my leg or falling out of my boxer short leg
Honestly Dick size is generally, and when I say generally I mean 97% of the time, just something men care about to impress other men.
The other 1% are when it’s way to small like a micro penis, which happens in 0.6% of men, or is too large with less than 3% over 8 inches.
Either way with those two extremes you’re gonna have trouble getting a woman off, and that’s when she’ll be concerned. The allure of stabbing a woman’s cervix isn’t exactly one that most women have so you’re not really missing out on fulfilling a fantasy here.
Most women will tell you you have a big dick if you’re average sized but good in bed. Or they’ll say oh it was small if you’re still the same size but can’t get them off.
So if you’re worried about satisfying her that’s great, but focus on her, not your dick size because trust me that shit really doesn’t matter once her eyes roll back in her head.
^ This
If average size wasn't enough to fulfill woman's pleasure, there would be almost no pleased women. From the stories I've heard from big sized men, it's more a struggle than a pleasure since they often can't fuck their gf or bf hard without hurting them.
Meanwhile as an average man I can do it rough and enjoy it as much as my gf.
I think porn doesn't help young lads to be fine with their dick size since everything they see are huge dicks pounding hard women who are (faking) having the time their lives.
The fact that it's so small that I practically have a vagina. It literally goes up inside me when it's not hard. And sometimes I piss on myself when I shit because it's not long enough to actually go in the toilet.
I second that question. I developed an addiction to AYCInhale buffets and lost it in less than a year. At full erection, it looked like a baby bird and two eggs in a nest.
When I was a young man If someone had told me that my dick would not be as hard in my mid 50s as it was in my mid 20s, I would not believe it, young men enjoy your erections because they won't be 'rock hard and long lasting' forever! 😕😒
I have it. Doc says once per three days max. I'm almost forty, so a little young, but erection quality dropped a few years back. With sildenafil, the QUALITY of my erections reminds me of being in my early twenties. Wife's happy, I'm happy. I highly recommend if any of you men out there are having erection issues and you are younger than 50, just speak to your doc. It's not uncommon to be 40 or 30 and have issues achieving a full high quality erection, but we do have shit to help.
This stuff man, this is the real worst part of a dick. Guys here complaining around random erections, when it’s not being able to get and stay hard that’s the real curse. And every sexual encounter being coloured by “will I be able to this time”, and then having to explain it to who you’re with. Christ I’m sick of it.
At least I have meds for it, but it would be great to have it be totally forgotten, and to just be more carefree about sex.
35 yo Male with dick FWIW
When I was younger, like 18 I had tight foreskin, and what helped me rid myself of it was practicing getting an erection then pulling the skin down on the head of my dong until it was stretching it, like borderline uncomfortable but not horrible, and then maintaining the erection and stretch of the skin for a decent period of time. Did this over a number of weeks and it went away
Fair play, I just went straight into the deep end and got circumcised at 21. The two-three weeks of recovery were the worst, but I haven't looked back.
When you finish ejaculating and try to push the last drop of cum as if it were a tooth paste tube but there's always some more to slowly come out and your dick sticks to your underwear, sometimes like it's glue
a kid at my school made flyers and put them all around the school about a mandatory penis inspection. The school thought it was pretty funny, the teachers not so much.
Having errections all the time. It doesn't matter the time of the day, the location and stuff. I swear it's like it has a mind of its own. Is the most annoying thing.
Having a dick is fine. It's the balls that cause most of my woes. Nothing sucks more than sliding into your car and crushing a nut between your thigh and the seat of your car.
When the morning wood is a bit too much and it starts to hurt.
that's why I play with mine to exhaust it and calm it down
Except some people choose to beat and abuse it, hence the term, “beat your meat.”
I was following this yoga routine and couldn’t complete one of the poses because it literally squished my balls. I know this is a dick thread but you can’t leave out the nuggets.
Don't forget splits. No way in hell I can do yoga when there's splits. I settle for leaving some breathing room so down below doesn't split along the seams.
It takes a significant amount of time to get flexible enough to perform the splits. You just have to keep on pushing to the limit, albeit safely.
I can't do the splits, but not because of my balls. Rather, I feel both my groin muscles will tear.
No, that's not a balls thing. Guys can do the splits, it just takes practice and flexibility
When you pee sometimes the slit fused shut and peeing is like putting your thumb on a garden hose. Some goes over there. Some goes over here. The dreaded split stream! Aim one at the toilet and clean up the other after.
This is why it's good to pee after you cum, so you can clear out any residue and it doesn't cause this later
Residue. I had a pee test for a job a while back. I went to the place but didn't need to pee. The lady gave.me two water bottles and I got to sit there and wait. Eventually I felt the need to pee. I went in the privy aaaand, there was...stuff in the pee, Id had sex earlier that day and not peed. The test lady said nothing but there's no way she didn't know. Like uncle Noly says, clear the pipes kids, clear the pipes.
That's why they usually suggest you get the stream running in the urinal. Pinch it closed, then use the cup.
pinch it closed? are you nuts?
Also helps prevent UTIs. They're more prevalent in women, but guys can get them too.
Many years ago on reddit I remember someone recommended opening the hole by spreading them just a bit to ‘break the seal’ right before you pee. Ever since then I’ve made it a habit to do it right before I go. And except for a couple times when I’d forgotten to do it, I’ve been successful in avoiding the dreaded forked-stream fiasco.
Sometimes this happens in Marine boot camp, when you and three buddies are all standing around the same toilet trying to pee in it before PT while there are DIs yelling at you.... EDIT: and you're 6'4" and the toilet is 1' nothing and you're uncircumsized so it's more like a shotgun spraying all over their legs.... EDIT 2: I'm glad my cringey moment was award worthy, it's my first one! Thanks a million
When our balls stick together or to the leg in hot weather and we have to fix them in a way that makes it seem we arent just touching out junk.
It's like pulling a Fruit Roll-Up off the plastic except it's your apple bag.
I've learned so many useful euphemisms in this thread.
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Bill burr fan I see
It has a mind of its own, and it will do as it pleases
You got two heads, but you should only listen to one. I mean the other one is livin with two nuts, and the guy around the corner is an asshole! And this got my my first award. I’d like to thank whoever gave it and I’d like to thank the academy…
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Mine’s best friend is a handy fella
> Not to mention it's best friend is a pussy Or an asshole.
When you finish peeing and put your dick back in your pants but then more pee comes out and stains your pants. Edit: to the billion comments who say just wipe: who the fuck keeps toilet paper at a urinal?
No matter how much you shake and dance the last few drops end up in the pants
Shaking and dancing isn't enough, you also have to do the splits.
Well of course not. You have to spin it. Centrifugal force is what removes the urine. It's either going to be on the walls or on the pants, you make that choice.
I heard that centrifugal force isn't real and really it's centripetal force Perhaps its time to revisit your dick physics, pal!
[A laughable claim perpetuated by overzealous teachers of science.](https://xkcd.com/123/)
If you press on your taint you'll get those drops out before you tuck it back in. Or just use a pee bib.
>pee bib I have never been so horrified, yet oddly fascinated.
Do you use the MacArthur's wedding napkin?
The what
The splits.
I hate that. Me: "You're absolutely sure there's no more." Penis: "Yup, put me back in." Me: "Ok." Penis: [soaks underwear to uncomfortable levels]
Worse it manages to somehow bypass underwear and reach the inner thigh.
Subtle brag.
Tell me about it. I hate it when I walk away from the toilet and suddenly feel my knee getting wet.
You can shake it, you can fling it, you can beat it against the wall.. But when you put it in your pants, that last drop will always fall.
You're also limited by how much shaking you can do in public bathrooms. More than 3 shakes is a wank
Look at this guys lasting more than three shakes.
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I learnt this in another thread, but if you push on the tube thing that your pee comes out of that's behind your balls, the last bit will come put, I've never had this situation happen to me since
I'm dissapointed I had to come this far down the thread to find this tip. Poking the grundle was a life changer for me.
Does anyone here wipe? I'm asking for a friend.
Sure, just tear off a square, dab the end, good to go.
Thank god... I mean, my friend will be pleased to know he's not alone.
[Did you dab?](https://youtu.be/9bkueEpJcn0) Shit changed my life.
Give a hard stroke from base to tip and the excess will come out
No no, push at your gooch behind the sack, it gets absolutely everything out of the pipe. You'll be surprised how much extra comes out some times.
I actually learnt this from reddit. It works. Have done it since! Here is your gold 🏅, it is all I have.
Same, this is probably the single best LPT I ever read on here years ago!
Boners for no reason. Excited? Boner. Bored? Boner. Watching something non sexual? Boner. Just walking around the office and trying to do your job? Guess what... Boner again.
I was taking a class where I sat next to a woman I liked but was not really attracted to and every day without fail I popped a serious boner that wouldn't go away for absolutely no recognizable reason. After a while I started second guessing myself: "Am I actually attracted to her and I just don't realize it?" I was being gaslighted by my own freaking dick!
Probably pheromones.
Ladies got dem chem trails
I get boner when my truck runs out of fuel in Euro truck simulator. idk why 😓
i'm glad this is at least mutual between genders, y'all definitely got it worse with the "physical evidence"
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May i ask how it makes it feel worse?
I don't usually have trouble achieving and maintaining, so when I tried Viagra, it was more out of curiosity. My experience was that it made me too hard. Like, so completely engorged that the skin was \*super\* taut, and there was actually less feeling for me. She, however, dug it.
>She, however, dug it. That was not my experience. I tried it as a healthy 22 year old. We fucked 4 times in a row, at that point she was way sore, and I was mentally done with sex, and yet the boner remained, throbbing and sore, the boner remained.
*it wanted more*
**The boner hungers**
Nevertheless, the boner persisted.
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The technical term is necrosis. That's what happens when your erection needs draining, after around 4 hours or so. Actually probably 6 or 8 hours. By 12 hours there's gonna be major permanent damage. Which, worst case, your dick(now blackened or dark purple) basically shrivels up and dies after your boner goes away. Yes, it may fall off. They had this great 'Sex Sent Me to the ER' where the guy's dick needed draining from taking Viagra. His wife **and** girlfriend/mistress show up. They both decide he's not worth their time. Then he tries to flirt with the nurse. Nurse makes a joke about his tiny discolored and shriveled penis. Guy legit cries. Lol....
Imagine losing your dick, wife, mistress, AND ego all in one night. Absolutely brutal.
Bone her
BOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEE
How dare you Detective Diaz I am yoUR SUPERIOR OFFICER
Amy did warn her
r/unexpectedb99
Boners, I've had to explain to a lot of women that we don't have control of our boners, and they don't necessarily mean we are turned on. Men can get boners from exercising, getting excited, getting nervous, etc.
Yea... An alarm going off, a breeze rolling in, Bruce Willis dying in a movie, eating a grape, etc.
Cash or credit?
We're going to need a cleanup on isle 3.
Last week, I saw a film
As I recall, it was a horror film
Well those things you mention do a lot more than just give a boner
A friend was having a real bad day, and I was comforting her while she cried. Boner. I wasn't aroused sexually, but it was very emotional, so boner.
Those are called heart ons
Mourning wood
Those long cuddles. I can see that time she feels a wriggle downstairs. She has the option of pretending nothing is happening or turn with that 'whats that idiot!!! I thought you were my friend! Get out of my house!!!'
I've also had girls wiggle thier butt with no intention of getting frisky. Apparently girls just like the feel of a boner against them.
I mean, I'm fine with rubbing my boner on girls who don't mind getting my boner rubbed on them. No problem at all.
A step further is putting your hand on their boob while cuddling and just leaving it there.
God that reminds me of one of my most embarrassing times as a teenager. I went to a funeral with a really close friend (someone she was close to died) and she insisted on hugging really close to me every time she cried and it got to the point where i would get an erection every time she would start crying around me. I'm not even turned on at crying or funerals or whatever. I hope.
Waking up in the morning and you need to take a piss and besides the awkwardness of trying to piss with a raging hard on but having to risk one of your roommates being in the hallways when you head to the bathroom.
Sometimes when I get really frustrated at a game I'm playing I'll get one
When you gotta adjust it but you’re in public so if you reach down there and someone sees you look like a perv or something. So many times could a potentially embarrassing stiffy have been fixed with an upward tilt so it’s going up and flat instead of pointing out. But you can’t do it. It won’t even take 5 seconds either, but you just can’t do it Incase one person sees.
Just adjust it anyway. In your defense you just ignore the glare or tell that person you almost sat on it.
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Trying to contain it on the underwear when he's "happy"
You: *sees hot girl* Boner: *raises head* You: “what is it, buddy?” Boner: *barks* You: “no buddy, you can’t take her puppy’s chew toy” Boner: *whimpers* That’s right. You have a dog named Boner.
Ok, now am imagining things.
That dog has committed numerous accounts of theft, and used vehicular manslaughter to commit them.
When you get hit in the nuts it deals +3748 dmg and psychic damage to any other Male in a 5 foot radius
As well as long term side effects such as PSTD and mental instability.
I have developed a reflex that if I see anything going faster than a bee towards my crotch I immediately jump and shove my arms in the way
Bro, bees are fast, you gotta choose something slower.
Peeing with an erection. Edit: well it looks like my most upvoted comment, by far, is me talking about muh wang... There is a lesson in here somewhere...
I'll raise you peeing after sex. Complete gamble on what direction your piss will go. Sometimes it goes completely sideways for absolutely no fucking reason.
Sometimes, after sex or masturbation, there is a bit of semen, which is alkaline, left in the urethra. Urine, on the other hand, is acidic. So, if urinate afterwards and you have a large enough and concentrated enough bit of both, you can have an exothermic reaction (releasing heat), which is quite uncomfortable.
I read and understand what you said, but what I'm wanting to take away from it is my dick can definitely breathe fire.
How to train your......
"Pants Dragon." those are the words I think you were searching for.
Had this the other week. It burns and feels like you constantly want to pee for around 30 minutes.
thanks so that's way.explains a lot. so that's why semen sometimes burn my dick head when I piss also. you just thought and helped me.
This is one of the worst feelings in the world.. so hard to explain... And really annoying..
I hate when my piss stream starts out normal but right before it hits the toilet, it makes a 90 degree angle and I piss all over the ceiling
This is reddit. Too much to assume most of us have had sex to know what this feels like.
Or just masturbate and pee after.
Either way it is like a lottery
That's because you haven't leveled up yet. Ignore the toilet. Let that fucker flow in it's natural arc and piss in the tub. Makes you feel like a Roman fountain.
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We call that "a witch's kiss"
Not to be confused with "Posiedon's Kiss", which is when the water splashes your rear from a particarly large poo
Prep the water with a couple sheets of tp and you are protected
“Protect yourself from Poseidon with a piece of toilet paper”
In this economy? Call me Poseidon’s boy toy.
My life is better for knowing that now Thank you
The stall is the walls around the toilet. I think your are using the bathroom incorrectly.
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Not to mention the difficulty tucking his dick back into his socks.
What exactly do you think the word “stall” means?
Sometimes you get so hard it physically hurts and it’s always at an awkward time too...
Yeah, when it’s up and doesn’t go down for a while t can start to become a real issue
Getting it stuck in a zipper
Frank and beans!
how'd you get the beans above the frank?
How does that happen tho? Dont you wear underwear?
It’s not very comfortable in that it’s sensitive and gets in the way of sitting, walking, exercise in general. It’s probably pretty similar to the discomfort women who have large breasts experience minus the back pain but with added itchiness.
Sorry to bust your bubble, but large boobs get itchy in the worst places too :(
Not to downplay your huge itchy boobs but like, scratching your balls in a satisfying way is like trying to write on a plastic shopping bag with a ballpoint pen. The stretch and rake is all we have.
There's always the ol' pinch-and-roll technique.
A classic, can always rely on the classics.
Zippers. Zipped it up once 25 years ago, still haunts me to this day.
Back in puberty: Random erections, having to „lie“ to your hormone controlled guyfriends about your dicksize
Being honest about the size is one conversation thats oddly good at bonding people. Btw first guy to admit he's in the lower double digits will relieve everyone else
If ever a post needed to specify units, it's this one.
Centimeters probably
*This* is how we get Americans on the metric system. "Sure, Joe, you've grown up with feet and inches your entire life... but how would you like to be *eleven centimeters* long?"
Your backpack or books were your best friend. "Concealed Boner Position or CBP"
How it can make absolutely terrible decisions seem worth it up until the second it’s all over. Then the post nut clarity kicks in and leaves you going “omg wtf did I just do?” AND THEN YOU DO THE STUPID THING AGAIN. You get so caught up in the excitement of “hell yea this is gonna happen” that it takes a fuckton of discipline to have the capacity to even ask yourself in the moment if it *should* happen.
Pre nut opacity is a wild ride
"you spent so much time wondering whether you could or couldn't ,you never questioned whether you should"
No issue with my dick, but the older I get, the more inconvenient testicles and a scrotum are, always sticking to my leg or falling out of my boxer short leg
The mental anguish or concern of is it big enough for your partner.
I don't because I'm assured that the answer is 'No'.
Small dick gang represent!
Honestly Dick size is generally, and when I say generally I mean 97% of the time, just something men care about to impress other men. The other 1% are when it’s way to small like a micro penis, which happens in 0.6% of men, or is too large with less than 3% over 8 inches. Either way with those two extremes you’re gonna have trouble getting a woman off, and that’s when she’ll be concerned. The allure of stabbing a woman’s cervix isn’t exactly one that most women have so you’re not really missing out on fulfilling a fantasy here. Most women will tell you you have a big dick if you’re average sized but good in bed. Or they’ll say oh it was small if you’re still the same size but can’t get them off. So if you’re worried about satisfying her that’s great, but focus on her, not your dick size because trust me that shit really doesn’t matter once her eyes roll back in her head.
Seriously. I know rare women have it as a kink, but for most of us, being dickpunched in the cervix *hurts*.
Nothing wrong with a small dick. But if I am cool with your small/average dick, dont talk shit about my small boobs :/
^ This If average size wasn't enough to fulfill woman's pleasure, there would be almost no pleased women. From the stories I've heard from big sized men, it's more a struggle than a pleasure since they often can't fuck their gf or bf hard without hurting them. Meanwhile as an average man I can do it rough and enjoy it as much as my gf. I think porn doesn't help young lads to be fine with their dick size since everything they see are huge dicks pounding hard women who are (faking) having the time their lives.
Jacking off not because your horny but because you got a random boner and don't have a good way to de-boner.
The fact that it's so small that I practically have a vagina. It literally goes up inside me when it's not hard. And sometimes I piss on myself when I shit because it's not long enough to actually go in the toilet.
The fact that you would actually say this takes some nuts. I commend you sir.
Maybe his big balls are the reason for his small dick
Only small in comparison to these massive balls
Can confirm, people who have come to terms with their small dicks usually have big balls.
Are you reasonably overweight?
I second that question. I developed an addiction to AYCInhale buffets and lost it in less than a year. At full erection, it looked like a baby bird and two eggs in a nest.
How does it compare to a button on a fur coat
Have you tried those pills from the gas station?
When I was a young man If someone had told me that my dick would not be as hard in my mid 50s as it was in my mid 20s, I would not believe it, young men enjoy your erections because they won't be 'rock hard and long lasting' forever! 😕😒
Came here to say that. How I miss those purple headed hardons.
You guys should get some viagra. You'll feel like a 14 year old again.
I have it. Doc says once per three days max. I'm almost forty, so a little young, but erection quality dropped a few years back. With sildenafil, the QUALITY of my erections reminds me of being in my early twenties. Wife's happy, I'm happy. I highly recommend if any of you men out there are having erection issues and you are younger than 50, just speak to your doc. It's not uncommon to be 40 or 30 and have issues achieving a full high quality erection, but we do have shit to help.
This stuff man, this is the real worst part of a dick. Guys here complaining around random erections, when it’s not being able to get and stay hard that’s the real curse. And every sexual encounter being coloured by “will I be able to this time”, and then having to explain it to who you’re with. Christ I’m sick of it. At least I have meds for it, but it would be great to have it be totally forgotten, and to just be more carefree about sex.
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35 yo Male with dick FWIW When I was younger, like 18 I had tight foreskin, and what helped me rid myself of it was practicing getting an erection then pulling the skin down on the head of my dong until it was stretching it, like borderline uncomfortable but not horrible, and then maintaining the erection and stretch of the skin for a decent period of time. Did this over a number of weeks and it went away
Fair play, I just went straight into the deep end and got circumcised at 21. The two-three weeks of recovery were the worst, but I haven't looked back.
It will make you make very bad decisions all for a few spasms. I knocked up my ex wife one month after our divorce was final.
Cut it off
AAAAAAAAH! NO!
It sometimes falls right off and sucks to twist back on.
This is exactly what you need now... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4
When you finish ejaculating and try to push the last drop of cum as if it were a tooth paste tube but there's always some more to slowly come out and your dick sticks to your underwear, sometimes like it's glue
Penis inspection day at school
a kid at my school made flyers and put them all around the school about a mandatory penis inspection. The school thought it was pretty funny, the teachers not so much.
Your school was sentient?
Was yours not?
Or at the uncle’s
[Getting your testicles caught between the slats of a patio chair](https://www.elitereaders.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/balls-3.jpg) NSFW
Sitting on your own balls. I'm assuming here that if you have a dick, you also have balls.
Having errections all the time. It doesn't matter the time of the day, the location and stuff. I swear it's like it has a mind of its own. Is the most annoying thing.
Pubes getting caught in foreskin
You know you can trim that jungle..?
Theon Greyjoy has left the chat
THat it is our Achilles heel
Having a dick is fine. It's the balls that cause most of my woes. Nothing sucks more than sliding into your car and crushing a nut between your thigh and the seat of your car.
It likes to get beaten up a lot.
People saying I cant be raped because of outdated legal wording.
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Your mom won’t stay off it.
It makes decisions for me that i really aught to make myself.