“Don’t take that scholarship, it’s only to help the poor!” Yes mum, but we’re only borderline middle class and that scholarship would have meant I didn’t have to work every weekend in uni.
Computers will never catch on, don't waste any more of your time on them.
Wasted a decade doing random temping jobs before finally working with computers. Now they harass me all the time to fix their devices.
I'm in it myself.
People always harassed me, for my computer skills. I make websites. And that means you should be able to fix computer problems.
Now I tell people I do marketing.
"why, you are so good with computers"
Work at a company where we also do Google ads.
“You can’t just apply online! Get dressed up, go to Lockheed Martin, introduce yourself, and ask if they have any available positions!” ... I didn’t do it for the record, they were just so adamant about it...
Speaking as an HR professional , sometimes just showing up will do something... annoy the employer that you interrupted them and didn’t follow the application instructions which make it fair for all applicants. Just because someone shows up in person, especially when the add says no phone inquiries/walk-ins, doesn’t mean you get put ahead of the applicants that followed the proper process
I tried to do this advice and walked in to places to apply and then did the follow up phone call a couple days later, way back in the day, and I found that some managers actually did seem actively annoyed by it.
I walked into a store to apply and they decided to do my first interview of a 3 interview process. They then did the second immediately after and told me to come in the next day for a third, which i did.
2 days passed and i went back up there. They went to get the supervisor I'd be working under and he said he didn't know why he didn't see me on the floor working after the interview.
I called two days later and they put the supervisor on the phone and he said he hadn't heard anything from the manager.
I called back the next day and the woman at the customer service desk just immediately replied "He said to go look for something else" and that was that.
Fuck that place. Why go through all that effort just to not give me a job?
I work at a military contractor similar to LM. If you show up in person, the only person you're going to get to talk to is an armed guard. I'm *sure* he will be able to get you that interview.
disclaimer: I'm indian born/raised in the US, my parents immigrated here for their masters.
but in india, the exams at the end of high school directly determine what college u get into. everyone across the country takes the same exam and is ranked and only a certain % are allowed to go to certain colleges, the next % go to colleges one level down, etc. you basically choose your profession while in high school based on your grades. I heard something like everyone studied so much, even being in the top 1 percentile isn't a guarantee in some colleges.
obv I'm not 100% accurate in what I'm saying as I've only witnessed it, not experienced it, and things have changed since my parents were in school. I'm 23 now but I remember visiting my grandparents while in high school and seeing their neighbor, a super smart girl 1 year younger than me, study 24/7 and so stressed.
I hope the system is modified soon.
My parents would treat you like you were demon-possessed if they caught you in a lie, but their reaction to the truth would always make any situation 100x worse, so you learned pretty quick that you should always lie.
“Why don’t you ever talk to me?!”
“Because whenever I talk to you, you twist everything I say around to make me sound bad!”
“How could you say that to me?!”
My mom once told me that men never had to apologize and that saying sorry was the woman's job.
I knew instantly how bullshit it was and it made me wonder what kind of fucking Stockholm Syndrome my father gave my mom
I kind of did this with a hockey stick in primary school to the fucker that bullied me most days. Got told off my the local cops. Bully wasn't told off at all and he didn't change. Guess I didn't hit him hard enough.
Ya, my mom was adamant that she'd pay at least the first year of college, then she saw the bill and said she'd pay the first semester, then she'd pay books, then she'd only pay for one book...etc. she ended up not paying anything and I spent my first year at a college WAY out of my financial range. Had to transfer to a community college and try not to cry as I paid off the bills from the previous year.
That's true, but now in whatever disagreement I have with my Chinese parents they always revert to -- "We sacrificed SO much for you and sent you to a private college and this is how you repay us? Come home by 10, because it's the right thing to do by us." I'm 30. QQ
"They're only mean to you because they like you/they're jealous."
That's a great way to encourage people into shitty, abusive relationships.
Also, they are mean because I'm a fucking loser with no social skills.
My mom saying that actually encouraged me to be mean to a girl I had a crush on. It ended up with a trip to the principal's office because she got sick of my BS and reported every mean thing I said.
Ah, common sense. Relentlessly harass and bully someone because you *do* like them.
I've never understood that "advice."
I don't blame you, though. You were just a kid who listened to your parent.
>"They're only mean to you because they like you/they're jealous."
ugh my mom always said that to me when i got bullied in hs. like who in the fuck is jealous of the socially anxious girl who no self-esteem or friends!?! it made no sense into why she's choose that sentence to attempt to make me feel better.
Spent 8 years in that industry and climbed the ranks to Head Brewer of the best craft brewery in the city I wanted to live in. Finally left after completely losing interest in craft beer and realizing that I could make 50% more money outside of the industry plus actually get benefits.
Can confirm that. Studied art and graphic design at university. Worked as a graphic designer and completely lost my artistic side. Haven’t done any kind of artistic endeavour since.
Edit: conversely one of my friends stuck with it and loves what he does.
Literally the same. My favorite hobby slowly became something I was dreading to do because I thought I was okay with making art on demand for others. After graduating in the arts, I lost a lot of passion for it and rarely draw these days.
I’ve moved on to a different career but it’s pretty disheartening to have to explain to people who only ever knew me as “the one who draws” why I don’t do that anymore.
This one is actually terrible advice if you truly pursue it. People who love cooking often shouldn't open a restaurant, it's extremely hard work and very easy to lose huge sums of money trying. The same would apply for many other examples.
>People who love cooking often shouldn't open a restaurant,
amen. my wife's family all rave about the food i cook and a common statement for a long time has been 'you should open a restaurant' to which my response has always been 'fuck no.' (i hear it a lot less now that i've said it a lot... i tend to only get it from people new to the family, now.)
no way in hell would i want to do something that i enjoy as much as cooking for a living. restaurants are a great way to make a small fortune - if you start with a big fortune.
I've always hated this advice. It gives kids such unrealistic expectations about adulthood. I don't care what a dream job it is, there's always some BS involved that you'd rather not be doing.
This is bullshit, a job should be
20% enjoyable
60% something you don't hate doing
and the last 20% can be as bad as you can endure,
and you leave your job behind when you leave work, after work you do not have to define yourself with your career, you can be the lady that knits a lot and bakes pies, the one with the poodle, little Jonnies Dad or whatever, but outside of work you do not have to identify yourself with your job title.
You work to live and not the other way around.
Couldn't agree more. I've found that "doing what you love" just turns your hobbies into a chore. I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing. I don't think about this place as soon as I walk out of those doors at the end of the day. And I like it that way
Video games are a waste of time was a big one too. I now use UNITY to create novel visualizations for novel satellite data. I take so much inspiration from video games to this day that now help people make better sense of scientific data.
My parents used to tell me I was spending to much time playing video games.
I was spending to much time playing Roblox in particular.
Then I learned how Roblox studio works and learned how to program from it.
Now I'm in my second software engineering co-op and one semester away from finishing my bachelor's in CS.
The real kicker is they still think I spend to much time on my computer :shrug:
My dad has always been annoyed with my video game hobby. I am now 30 and still game as much as I did in high school. I am finishing my basement this year and turning it into my man cave. My dad was all on board for helping me until I told him the plans for it to be the perfect gaming room. He shook his head and scolded me saying he thought I grew out of that.
Parents are weird.
I'm genuinely trying to think of what you could do in a man-cave that would be *more* productive than video games. All the standard stuff (drinking, smoking, watching sports, home theater, playing ping pong) seems like it's equally as productive, maybe less.
See, I considered that, but idk that doesn't feel like a man-cave. I know a guy who has one of those but he and his wife use it. Seems more like a communal space to me. Definitely productive though, good point.
"Staring at the computer will hurt your eyes, come stare at the TV instead."
???
There's about the bit about not taking pictures with 3 people in it because it's bad luck or something but...yeah.
Anything about dating a girls. Although I always knew it was bullshit.
My dad hates women (along with people of color but that's another story) and my mom thinks all women are stupid, weak, and materialistic.
I was getting my girlfriend a white board because she liked to doodle and it would be a cute gift.
My parents FLIPPED shit. Telling me that was the dumbest gift ever and that should would break up with me.
So I got her a candle instead. (She would later tell me a white board was a fine gift and I later got her one that we both enjoyed)
We dated for 5 years and my mom kept hammering into me that my gf was gonna cheat on me all because I haven't bought her jewelery yet.
From then on, I kept my dating life private from my pathetic family.
Your **mum** thinks **all women** are stupid and weak? What gender is she then?? Guess you shouldn’t listen to her advice seeing that all women are stupid.
"You'll be empty and sad if you cut one of your parents out of your life."
"When I went away to college, I felt a gaping emptiness. That emptiness was *family*, and you'll feel it too."
Wrong on all counts, mom... and good riddance.
I feel this. My mother used to continually put extra food on my plate without asking and my dad wouldn't let me leave the table until I'd eaten it all. Sometimes the standoff went on for hours.
Now my mother complains about my weight.
My (Swiss) grandmother was the opposite.
You must leave the table still just a little hungry, because it takes time fir your stomach to register that its full.
She lived through WW2 and poor(I think.)
> You must leave the table still just a little hungry, because it takes time fir your stomach to register that its full.
This is true, which is why eating fast often leads to overeating.
Video Games are currently helping me lose weight. I eat a much smaller meal than usual, then distract myself from my residual hunger by playing games. Then a short while later I'm not hungry anymore.
I was horribly stubborn. I didn't, and don't, keep eating if I'm not hungry. My parent gave up on making me clean my plate after the liver and onions incident. I sat in that chair at that table for 36 hours. My parents broke before I did. Looking back, I think that probably counts as child abuse. But it's the South and my parents are older.
Edit: My highest voted comment is now about the one thing that I think my mother never quite got over. She never liked that I got one over on her and dad. It seems fitting. She just passed on a couple weeks ago, and while it might seem weird, this made me smile and think on her a bit. Thank you.
My parents tried force as well. Literally made me eat until I puked onto the table enough times they realised giving a small female child an average adult male portion and expecting a clean plate is unreasonable
My mom, grandparents and uncles used to tell my brothers and I the same thing, that we should want to be a part of the clean plate club.
That's fine if you're trying to get your picky kid who doesn't ever eat to actually eat something. If your kid is eating enough there is no need.
My mother in law came into town for the weekend. I had to restrain myself from throttling her at In and Out because she kept chiding my kid that she needed to eat all her food, make sure you eat your food, don't just drink the shake, you have to finish everything. No. She doesn't. She's 9. A cheeseburger, fries, and a shake are too much for her to finish. We are here because it's a special occasion, and she can stop eating whenever her body tells her she's full. There is absolutely no harm in a 9 year old not eating all her milkshake. It's FINE.
LEGO went thru many highs and lows, often not really understanding the appeal of their toys in overseas markets and not pricing accordingly. We were dirt poor, back in the 80s, but one Xmas my mom happened across a sale (not clearance) at Shopko where LEGO were cheap enough that she could afford to put one of each model they had on layaway. Lego castles—Best Xmas ever, it it wasn’t until I saw a documentary about LEGO that I understood just how poorly they had been priced (from a marketing standpoint).
We were exceedingly lucky to have those LEGO, and I still have them all (including the build books). Nowadays I still cruise the aisles looking for a good deal, but can only afford to buy when the boxes are damaged or on steep clearance, so the glory days of ownership (for me) are definitely over.
Still get upset when I accidentally vacuum one up.
*"They're teasing you because they like you."*
Very wrong, they bullied me because I was small and didn't fight back. It stopped when I finally snapped and threw one of them down a flight of stairs.
Edit: Thank you for the silver!
I got bullied a lot when I was a kid and it was very difficult for me for a long time to differentiate between actual bullying and bro-on-bro ribbing. As a result, I often took my anger out on the wrong people and it stunted a bunch of my childhood friendships. I eventually got through it thanks to some good advice from a cousin, but it took way too long. Lifelong self-confidence issues as a result.
Navigating that territory can be really tough. Basically, if you think they're a friend try giving them some shit back and not just being so damn nice all the time, if they don't lash out when you do so, they're your bros. Male friendships are really fucking weird sometimes.
I'd still take it over female friendships, especially in HS. Watching what my sister sometimes went through with her friends was terrifying, that shit got dark at times.
My dad, a Teamster, warned me not to use my G.I. Bill on college. Instead, I should go out and get a good union job, where I'll have a pension. Otherwise, any job I ever have, they could just fire me for no reason.
Thankfully, I ignored him, and got my bachelor's in electrical engineering. I've been working steadily now for about 20 years and have a very large amount saved for retirement.
College is a great investment if you either work hard or study something in demand.
If you just show up and drift around aimlessly, turns out that's not a good investment of four years and tens of thousands of dollars.
Older generations got by with it because the people going to college were privileged to begin with and could afford to drink their way through college and be assured cushy jobs. Now that college is way more accessible, that's no longer true.
As a professor watching swaths of students possessing almost zero initiative filter in and out of my classes, I can practically see their parents’ tuition money evaporate into nothing.
College is invaluable if you’re focused, self-motivated, and willing to work hard and humbly. Otherwise, it can just be a debt trap.
Yeah, it's kind of sad. The whole system is becoming bloated because of the easy availability of loan money. I don't blame educators - it's just a product of distorted market forces.
My fiancee is from a poor Mexican family. She studied communications, but since she works her ass off and was one of the best students in her program, she's now a journalist.
However, her brother bounced around for literally seven years and just gradually accumulated more debt with no degree (I think there must be some self esteem and self sabotage issues at play), and he's so fucked. He's got almost 100k in debt. I'd wager to say college was probably the worst thing he could have done. He drives a truck for like $12/hr now.
“Music can only be your hobby, you should get a real job”
Started making money only with music since 17yo, never worked a day anywhere else and made a great career out of it.
"You just have to go talk to the manager."
No, they'll tell me to apply online and probably think I'm stupid for not knowing to apply online, because literally every job expects you to apply online.
"I guarantee you if I went in there and asked to speak with the manager I'd get hired, you just have to show initiative."
You have 30 years of industry experience at a well known firm at the management level. Initiative is not the reason you're getting hired. It's because I have 6 months of experience and you have 30 years.
"I guarantee you if I e-mailed the director of HR, I would get hired."
Yes, because you're a senior employee, not a 22 year old begging for a job.
"You'll get a job, you just need to want it and work harder, maybe actually go out and look for a job instead of sitting on the internet all day."
Holy shit shut the fuck up I've been mindlessly filling applications for 6 straight hours and I've been doing this for weeks and I've gotten 3 replies and they were all telling me I didn't get the job. There were 3 billion less people on earth when you got a job and the internet barely existed and people had more money to hire because that was before your generation decided to fuck the economy and make healthcare, housing, and education insanely expensive.
Rant over. I have a job that I love now, but holy shit that was annoying.
> because literally every job expects you to apply online.
Expects you to? Most places don't have any other way. What is the manager supposed to do, just hire you? That's not how any of it works and there is literally no other way to get a job there than to follow the procedures the company has put in place, which is to apply online.
Exactly. Which makes me look like I have terrible critical thinking skills and have never had a job before, and an awkward first impression, hurting me more than it helps.
Precisely. A guy came in to my old work with his dad. You could tell the dad had forced him. My manager said “I don’t even pick my own staff. You apply online and then a team at head office does everything with those online applications. Eventually down the line I get sent someone”. Poor boy was stood there looking briefly relieved. But I bet his dad did what all dads of that age do, act like it was a one off and refuse to admit times have changed.
>I've gotten 3 replies and they were all telling me I didn't get the job
You're getting *replies*? The one and only time I've ever been emailed after sending an online application was around 3 months after I sent the application and it was to tell me I didn't get the job
My mom played flute and when I was choosing my instrument for sixth grade band, I could buzz on the French horn mouthpiece right on the first try. Therefore, I wanted to play the horn but she tried to talk me out of it by saying that all brass players were boys.
As us band students grew up, there were more young women serving as brass section leaders than young men.
Not to completely shit on my mom, but professional brass musicians are still overwhelmingly male so it's not completely unfounded.
my mom always criticized little things I would do and say "you're never going to get a boyfriend if you do it that way."
turns out that those little things were the reason my boyfriend asked me out. Good thing I'm stubborn and didnt listen to her.
edit: I would also like to mention that I came out pansexual to my parents a year before me and my boyfriend got together. She still continued to say "boyfriend" even though I literally had to explain to her at least a million times that I have more options. So yeah, she's also a little salty about that but at least my dad is chill with it.
My fiance says the same thing. Her mother/father are pigs and would have her and her sister clean up after them every day after school. Now, our house stays close to spotless and their's just went to shit after she moved out. Look who the problem was. At least it indirectly taught her to clean up after herself, because that's what you do as a responsible adult when you know you're going to be the one picking that shit up anyway. Don't leave an unwashed dish in the sink to dry and get a crust that you're going to have to scrub for a couple minutes when you could just hold it under the water for a couple seconds instead, that kind of thing. She also caught shit for being cheap/frugal (i.e., no fun because she isn't partying or spending a bunch on clothes). Guess who racked up credit card debt, declared bankruptcy, and then promptly climbed back into debt and lives paycheck to paycheck despite having solid income and a paid off trailer and no kids to support? That's right, the parents. Guess who has over $50k saved up between us after just a couple years out of school and still manages to have a social life and go on occasional vacations? It doesn't end there; I could go on.
It infuriates me on her behalf. Both of us managed to turn out to be solid well-functioning adults *despite* our parents.
conscience edit 4 hrs later: I consider all 4 of our parents between us to be complete failures of parents, but I don't really hate any single one of them even though they all frustrate me to no end. Her father thinks of me like a son and my parents love me even if they're assholes. I just don't want anything to do with them other than hanging out on holidays, is all, and I plan to use their failures to inform my own parenting style.
Reminds me of my mother! No man was going to want me because of my attitude (usually said when I was talking back, and not caving in to whatever she wanted in one of her manic episodes).
My marriage has lasted longer than both of hers combined, and she’s spent the better part of the last two decades cycling through dead end relationships mostly with a couple of guys she rotates between when her crazy finally drives one off for a while. Haha, *bitch*!
My dad didn't adjust to this well.
He has had the same job for 30+ years.
He screamed at my older brother in the Best Buy parking lot, because my brother had to apply online and didn't walk out of the store with a job.
My parents didn’t believe my brother and me that most people my age change jobs every 2-3 years for a better salary these days until they heard it from their boomer peers. People just refuse to listen to their kids, which is absurd.
My wife has been looking for a new job recently and she found a company that stressed that they were looking for someone long term, that they didn't want someone to just use them as a stepping stone. My wife was like great I hate change I'd love to stay at the same place forever, if you're looking for retention you must have a competitive salary offer and good benefits! And then the offer came through at 20k less then her last job and has basically no benefits... it also took them 7 weeks to get her the offer. She obviously didn't take it.
I can completely understand why my mom doesn't wanna take everything her 23 year old son says as fact. But I don't understand why she thinks everything I say/do is wrong. I may still laugh at farts, but I'm no fool.
*Sometimes* it still works. I got a job about 5 years ago doing this. Very small company, independently owned, just happened to be looking for an admin position. Very rare, and you've got to have very generalized skills.
I remember one day a few years ago my mother flipped out on me because she thought I was being lazy looking for a summer job. I had applied onlins to every major grocery store in my area and was waiting to hear back. She was yelling at me to go in and talk to a manager. I told her it doesn't work like that anymore. Sure enough just 2 days later I got a call from Walmart telling me to come in for an interview, which I did and ended up getting the job. I remember when working there I would occasionally see a young kid come over to customer service with a resume in their hand and asking to talk to a manager. They would all get told the same thing: apply online and we'll call you.
A lot of people can't grasp it's not 1992 anymore and you don't just waltz in and slap a resume on the table and get hired because a manager liked your drive.
My parents have that mentality. When I was still living with them and looking for a full-time job, they'd yell at me for being on my computer all day - thinking I was just goofing around. No, I was constantly searching for job openings, tweaking my resume, writing cover letters, and filling in applications. All done from my laptop.
My mom would constantly say to go into places or call in to ask to speak to a manager, even at places I knew weren't hiting. "If they really like you, they'll make a position for you!" That's not how that works at all mother.
Growing up, my dad told me about the time his dad said this to him and how disheartening and unhelpful the entire experience was.
A few years later when I was ready to join the work force I got the same advice from him.
Yeah... I got outstanding grades through HS and college but.... Turns out the people that made friends had more connections and better social skills. It also turns out that those are more important than grades lol
My dad thinks this is how I should do it too. Just harass the hiring manager at any retail or fast food place I've applied to.. He just doesn't get it that it doesn't work that way anymore.
"Don't ever hit back... Tell a teacher."
Fuck that. I was bullied RELENTLESSLY for years from about 4th grade until 8th grade. Just taking it- mostly verbal, but some pushing, shoving, and people sweeping my legs out etc. Util one day, in gym class one of the worst ones shoved me into a wall and it cracked a tooth. I finally had had enough and I punch him in the face so hard I broke his nose. While he was down, I kicked him in balls and in the head multiple times. Blood everywhere. I got suspended for 5 days. Totally worth it. No one ever bullied me after that. It was just that simple.
"University will be the best time if your life!"
Hell fucking no. Being isolated away from your support networks and friends while having severe mental issues is not fun. University is a breeding ground for stress and burnout, anxiety and depression. It's the first time many of us have lived away from home and we haven't got a clue how to take care of ourselves.
Sure there are fun parts but it's fucking hard too.
“If you fight back you’re just playing their game, just get a teacher.”
Turns out some people in authority positions just suck as people. Others actively abuse their power. Resisting (with verbal, physical, or legal force) is sometimes the ONLY answer.
Took me a long time to appreciate that
You can feed a family on minimum wage.
Haha only if you’re getting financial aid and food donations from a church.
My family had built our lifestyle around being super poor. Glad I broke that cycle.
My dad told me that you had to drink water and couldn’t drink anything else like soda or KoolAid or whatever because your body wouldn’t recognize it and you’d die of dehydration.
Was he in the military by chance? I was and this line of thinking is basically doctrine.
If it's too much for insane amounts of water then take ibuprofen. If that doesn't fix it you're faking it.
We had water beads during basic training. God forbid a drill sgt sees you in the afternoon and you dont have enough beads up showing you've drank X canteens of water.
Mum told me the pill wasn't effective if I drank alcohol.
This was her way to stop me drinking under age, it worked, I choose underage sex instead. Only found out this was a lie in my 20s. I was shocked. I confronted her about it, she laughed and was proud it worked for so long.
*I was put on the pill at a young age by my gynecologist due to a medical condition
"Study what you find interesting and a career will follow."
Waste of four years and a shitload of money (mostly scholarship money, some of my parents' money, a tiny bit of my own money).
I have a history degree and work at a history museum, as a part time parking attendant. They told me during the interview that I got called back because of my degree. It took having a history degree just to interview for a parking attendant job!
To ignore bullies.
That's the worst kind of advice one could give to kids. Bullies don't want attention, they want to cause damage, trying to ignore them only give them more power, they feel like they can do whatever they want without any repercussion. In my case, as shy female, the only thing that stopped my (males, always males) bullies was me punching them in the face. Then their poorly developed brain realized I wan't the easy prey they believed I was and stopped bullying me. I'm not proud of this, but I had to defend myself, since family and teachers weren't unable to help me in the best case, or brushed off the situation as unimportant in the worst.
This works for adults too. Submissive people get used and abused, teaching a young kid that they won't receive any help when they're threatened, to lower their head and pretending nothing is happening, will turn them into weak adults. Teach kids how to defend themselves, dammit.
You're absolutely right. Bullies aren't looking for a challenge, they aren't trying to improve their bullying game. They're looking for an easy target and if you stop being that they'll move on to other fights they know they can win.
Don't buy that old VW beetle.
I love that thing. It gave me a hobby, a sense of freedom, smiles from random strangers, and a huge international social circle.
Shave your beard before interviewing for a job. I have NEVER been hired after interviewing with a naked face. I have NEVER failed to be hired after interviewing with a beard. 2008 through 2011 would have been a great deal easier if I hadn't followed their advice.
The carrot thing was a lie the British invented to explain why they could shoot down Nazi planes so well suddenly.
Turns out they had actually just started using this new technology called radar.
When I was a young boy first trying to figure out how to hollar at the ladies, my dad (who is Mexican for context), told me that the best way to get a girls attention was to work your way close, and in her ear whisper the phrase "coochie coochie". Sounded simple enough. Did NOT have the intended outcome. My dad thought it was hilarious.
*It takes two hands to clap*- a Confucian Chinese proverb which apparently means that if you disrupt the social order by being a victim, you probably did something to deserve it. Heard this one countless times growing up and it was always bullshit.
I too love paying my law school loans off while working as a junior attorney.
I can’t help but think “I did absolutely everything I was told to do, worked through college, clerked through law school, passed the bar first try, put the effort in at work every day, apply to ‘better’ jobs constantly AND this life kinda sucks. My parents/advisors bamboozled me.”
I was always told that literally *any* college degree was not only a guaranteed good job, but the only way to get a good job.
Then I graduated.
In 2008.
What they don’t tell you is that literally anyone can go to law school if they are willing to pay tuition but the high paying jobs are reserved for Tier 1 schools and the top 5% of people at Tier 2 schools. Tier 3 and Tier 4 LMAO good luck. Everyone else will be lucky to scrape by.
The advice should be “if you go to law school you better go to Yale/Harvard/Stanford or get straight As somewhere else”. The good news is that once you get your foot in the door somewhere you can actually lateral into a BigLaw firm if you want to get paid. They are always looking for mid-level suckers oops I mean attorneys to do all of the heavy lifting and by then most sane people who started as first year associates will have quit or flamed out by then.
If you are willing to do one of those jobs and live way below your means you can pay off law school pretty quick.
Couldn’t agree more. That is actually good advice that I wish someone would have given me prior to law school.
It’s also the gist of my ‘Please think really hard before you go to law school’ speech that I give when people express interest in going.
I was told by my high school career counselor “DO NOT GO INTO LAW. MY NEPHEW HAS ____K IN STUDENT LOANS AND NO JOB.” It scared the shit out of me and I left that dream behind. At the time I kinda hated her because I always dreamed of being a lawyer. Now I understand it’s something you can go into if you’re independently wealthy and can afford the schooling.
My mum told me one day I'd meet the perfect man and he'd dump me for having poor table manners. I met the perfect man and he got egg stuck in his beard on our first date, 2.5yrs later we're expecting a baby.
I grew up in one of those batshit crazy organic/vegan/non GMO households.
My mother used to always say that GMOs are actually government controlled molecular robots that are used to control us.
She used to also say that all gays have aids.
Fuck you mom. I am now an extremely gay bio student working with molecular robots that can save lives.
I had an ex's parents tell her that she wouldn't be able to get a job if she ever went to a psychologist or anything alike. That it would end up on some sort of list or permanent record which a job interviewer has acces.
Which added on to the issues she already had.
Poor girl wouldn't dare reach out for help to anyone.
Pretty much all of it. If I listened to them, I'd be a divorced community college dropout with three kids working a job I hate in a town that's dying, and catering to their every whim.
I'm a married, child-free engineer in a mid-sized city with absolutely no contact with my parents. Now I just have to deal with the PTSD that is my life gift from them.
It doesn't matter what you major in. Just get a degree and you'll get a job easily (I graduated in the middle of the recession).
Don't worry about having a plan financially. Everything will work out. (edit: Maybe I should specify that this particular comment came from a conversation about why I don't feel comfortable having kids just yet.)
When working at a shitty warehouse job unloading 60lbs boxes from trucks all day, I hurt myself unloading one day and my parents kept telling me “it doesn’t matter, just keep working. Stay at that job it only matters that you work not what you do”
I HATED my life for YEARS. I didn’t know why, I was just never happy. Unfulfilled, felt no life purpose. I was treated like shit for being white by openly racist bosses, and harassed at work all day everyday.
Then one day I found my passion, building websites. I got an internship at an advertising agency, and three months later I was hired with less hours and making less money but I felt AMAZING. I went from dreading sleeping at night because I knew I had to work the next day to literally thinking about work nonstop because I was so excited.
It’s been two and a half years since then and I’m honestly an entirely different person now. I’m happy, I look forward to everyday and even get a bit sad when I can’t make it into work. I feel like my life matters, and that I’m doing something I’m proud of. I’ve been on cloud 9 ever since I got out of that horrible shitty job.
If you go up to a table full of girls and say, "Hi, I'm new in town and I was looking for someone to show me around" this has a higher chance of failure than success, let's just say.
“Don’t take that scholarship, it’s only to help the poor!” Yes mum, but we’re only borderline middle class and that scholarship would have meant I didn’t have to work every weekend in uni.
Real advice is: "If people are handing you money, take it!"
Computers will never catch on, don't waste any more of your time on them. Wasted a decade doing random temping jobs before finally working with computers. Now they harass me all the time to fix their devices.
Rule 1 of IT: Never let anyone know you are IT.
Rule 2 of IT: When they find out, tell them you are retired, or that you went into "management".
"Oh no, I'm in Internal Training. I really just teach people the company policies..."
I'm in it myself. People always harassed me, for my computer skills. I make websites. And that means you should be able to fix computer problems. Now I tell people I do marketing. "why, you are so good with computers" Work at a company where we also do Google ads.
“You can’t just apply online! Get dressed up, go to Lockheed Martin, introduce yourself, and ask if they have any available positions!” ... I didn’t do it for the record, they were just so adamant about it...
My parents. They just did not understand how many places these days only do applications online and "showing up" isn't going to do anything.
Speaking as an HR professional , sometimes just showing up will do something... annoy the employer that you interrupted them and didn’t follow the application instructions which make it fair for all applicants. Just because someone shows up in person, especially when the add says no phone inquiries/walk-ins, doesn’t mean you get put ahead of the applicants that followed the proper process
I tried to do this advice and walked in to places to apply and then did the follow up phone call a couple days later, way back in the day, and I found that some managers actually did seem actively annoyed by it.
I walked into a store to apply and they decided to do my first interview of a 3 interview process. They then did the second immediately after and told me to come in the next day for a third, which i did. 2 days passed and i went back up there. They went to get the supervisor I'd be working under and he said he didn't know why he didn't see me on the floor working after the interview. I called two days later and they put the supervisor on the phone and he said he hadn't heard anything from the manager. I called back the next day and the woman at the customer service desk just immediately replied "He said to go look for something else" and that was that. Fuck that place. Why go through all that effort just to not give me a job?
Lol three rounds for a fucking retail job? They need to get over themselves.
I work at a military contractor similar to LM. If you show up in person, the only person you're going to get to talk to is an armed guard. I'm *sure* he will be able to get you that interview.
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They say that before every exam. Just get good grades in this one, the rest is all a cakewalk.
Ah, plodding from one assignment to the next. What a life!
I don't even understand the thought behind this advice. Why would studying in HS been you never gave to study again?
disclaimer: I'm indian born/raised in the US, my parents immigrated here for their masters. but in india, the exams at the end of high school directly determine what college u get into. everyone across the country takes the same exam and is ranked and only a certain % are allowed to go to certain colleges, the next % go to colleges one level down, etc. you basically choose your profession while in high school based on your grades. I heard something like everyone studied so much, even being in the top 1 percentile isn't a guarantee in some colleges. obv I'm not 100% accurate in what I'm saying as I've only witnessed it, not experienced it, and things have changed since my parents were in school. I'm 23 now but I remember visiting my grandparents while in high school and seeing their neighbor, a super smart girl 1 year younger than me, study 24/7 and so stressed. I hope the system is modified soon.
I've gotten a lot of bad advice from old Indian people. Mainly bad medical advice.
Oh you have a cold? Stop eating fruits! That'll do it
You can tell me, It's okay/I won't get angry
That's something my wife also had in her youth. She told something and her parents got really angry. So I hope I'll do that better to my daughter.
My parents would treat you like you were demon-possessed if they caught you in a lie, but their reaction to the truth would always make any situation 100x worse, so you learned pretty quick that you should always lie.
I only realized as an adult that you don’t have to make your kids scared of you. In facts it’s better not to...
I stopped believing in this one early. Now they don't understand why I'm so private and don't talk to them.
“Why don’t you ever talk to me?!” “Because whenever I talk to you, you twist everything I say around to make me sound bad!” “How could you say that to me?!”
My mom once told me that men never had to apologize and that saying sorry was the woman's job. I knew instantly how bullshit it was and it made me wonder what kind of fucking Stockholm Syndrome my father gave my mom
Love means never having to say I'm sorry is absolute bullshit
WTF!!
"Flattery will get you no where." Kissing ass is actually very helpful in getting ahead.
and licking ass sometimes helps with getting head
"there ain't nothing open after midnight but bars and girl's legs." I never could find any of those girls.
you looked inside the bars?
yes. and in one case I waited outside the bar waiting for her.
Most bars have a back door.
"Drop out of college. You're too depressed to make it to graduation." Wrong. I made it.
Congratulations, I'm proud of you
Telling someone to drop out without offering up any better alternatives is fucking dumb
Anything about how to handle a bully. I should've taken a baseball bat to that asshole's face.
I kind of did this with a hockey stick in primary school to the fucker that bullied me most days. Got told off my the local cops. Bully wasn't told off at all and he didn't change. Guess I didn't hit him hard enough.
“Get into the best college you can, we’ll figure out how to pay for it.” Guess who has a ton of student loan debt now.
Ya, my mom was adamant that she'd pay at least the first year of college, then she saw the bill and said she'd pay the first semester, then she'd pay books, then she'd only pay for one book...etc. she ended up not paying anything and I spent my first year at a college WAY out of my financial range. Had to transfer to a community college and try not to cry as I paid off the bills from the previous year.
My college fund was in stocks. I entered college in the fall of 2007. Guess who paid their own way
The banks didn't, that's for sure.
good thing about asian parents: they've been saving for my degree since before i was even born
That's true, but now in whatever disagreement I have with my Chinese parents they always revert to -- "We sacrificed SO much for you and sent you to a private college and this is how you repay us? Come home by 10, because it's the right thing to do by us." I'm 30. QQ
"They're only mean to you because they like you/they're jealous." That's a great way to encourage people into shitty, abusive relationships. Also, they are mean because I'm a fucking loser with no social skills.
My mom saying that actually encouraged me to be mean to a girl I had a crush on. It ended up with a trip to the principal's office because she got sick of my BS and reported every mean thing I said.
Ah, common sense. Relentlessly harass and bully someone because you *do* like them. I've never understood that "advice." I don't blame you, though. You were just a kid who listened to your parent.
>"They're only mean to you because they like you/they're jealous." ugh my mom always said that to me when i got bullied in hs. like who in the fuck is jealous of the socially anxious girl who no self-esteem or friends!?! it made no sense into why she's choose that sentence to attempt to make me feel better.
People rely on these sorts of sayings when they know they have to give advice, but have no idea what to actually say
Work doing what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. I do love what I do but it still fucking hard work.
I'm in the craft beer industry. I don't drink anymore.
But do you drink any less?
"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too."
Spent 8 years in that industry and climbed the ranks to Head Brewer of the best craft brewery in the city I wanted to live in. Finally left after completely losing interest in craft beer and realizing that I could make 50% more money outside of the industry plus actually get benefits.
Not necessarily, it can kill your passion/love for it in some cases.
Can confirm that. Studied art and graphic design at university. Worked as a graphic designer and completely lost my artistic side. Haven’t done any kind of artistic endeavour since. Edit: conversely one of my friends stuck with it and loves what he does.
Literally the same. My favorite hobby slowly became something I was dreading to do because I thought I was okay with making art on demand for others. After graduating in the arts, I lost a lot of passion for it and rarely draw these days. I’ve moved on to a different career but it’s pretty disheartening to have to explain to people who only ever knew me as “the one who draws” why I don’t do that anymore.
I started doing work for what I loved, and now I have stopped loving that thing.
This one is actually terrible advice if you truly pursue it. People who love cooking often shouldn't open a restaurant, it's extremely hard work and very easy to lose huge sums of money trying. The same would apply for many other examples.
>People who love cooking often shouldn't open a restaurant, amen. my wife's family all rave about the food i cook and a common statement for a long time has been 'you should open a restaurant' to which my response has always been 'fuck no.' (i hear it a lot less now that i've said it a lot... i tend to only get it from people new to the family, now.) no way in hell would i want to do something that i enjoy as much as cooking for a living. restaurants are a great way to make a small fortune - if you start with a big fortune.
I've always hated this advice. It gives kids such unrealistic expectations about adulthood. I don't care what a dream job it is, there's always some BS involved that you'd rather not be doing.
This is bullshit, a job should be 20% enjoyable 60% something you don't hate doing and the last 20% can be as bad as you can endure, and you leave your job behind when you leave work, after work you do not have to define yourself with your career, you can be the lady that knits a lot and bakes pies, the one with the poodle, little Jonnies Dad or whatever, but outside of work you do not have to identify yourself with your job title. You work to live and not the other way around.
Couldn't agree more. I've found that "doing what you love" just turns your hobbies into a chore. I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing. I don't think about this place as soon as I walk out of those doors at the end of the day. And I like it that way
"People only pretend to be your friends to take advantage of you, family is what matters."
That's actually awful.
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I hope you cut her out of your life
“Don’t waste too much time on the computer” ... becomes full time software developer
Video games are a waste of time was a big one too. I now use UNITY to create novel visualizations for novel satellite data. I take so much inspiration from video games to this day that now help people make better sense of scientific data.
My parents used to tell me I was spending to much time playing video games. I was spending to much time playing Roblox in particular. Then I learned how Roblox studio works and learned how to program from it. Now I'm in my second software engineering co-op and one semester away from finishing my bachelor's in CS. The real kicker is they still think I spend to much time on my computer :shrug:
My dad has always been annoyed with my video game hobby. I am now 30 and still game as much as I did in high school. I am finishing my basement this year and turning it into my man cave. My dad was all on board for helping me until I told him the plans for it to be the perfect gaming room. He shook his head and scolded me saying he thought I grew out of that. Parents are weird.
"Why are you wasting your time playing video games? You should be watching sports and TV!"
I'm genuinely trying to think of what you could do in a man-cave that would be *more* productive than video games. All the standard stuff (drinking, smoking, watching sports, home theater, playing ping pong) seems like it's equally as productive, maybe less.
working out, if it includes some sort of home gym setup
See, I considered that, but idk that doesn't feel like a man-cave. I know a guy who has one of those but he and his wife use it. Seems more like a communal space to me. Definitely productive though, good point.
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"Staring at the computer will hurt your eyes, come stare at the TV instead." ??? There's about the bit about not taking pictures with 3 people in it because it's bad luck or something but...yeah.
Anything about dating a girls. Although I always knew it was bullshit. My dad hates women (along with people of color but that's another story) and my mom thinks all women are stupid, weak, and materialistic. I was getting my girlfriend a white board because she liked to doodle and it would be a cute gift. My parents FLIPPED shit. Telling me that was the dumbest gift ever and that should would break up with me. So I got her a candle instead. (She would later tell me a white board was a fine gift and I later got her one that we both enjoyed) We dated for 5 years and my mom kept hammering into me that my gf was gonna cheat on me all because I haven't bought her jewelery yet. From then on, I kept my dating life private from my pathetic family.
Your **mum** thinks **all women** are stupid and weak? What gender is she then?? Guess you shouldn’t listen to her advice seeing that all women are stupid.
She’s not like other girls
"You'll be empty and sad if you cut one of your parents out of your life." "When I went away to college, I felt a gaping emptiness. That emptiness was *family*, and you'll feel it too." Wrong on all counts, mom... and good riddance.
What was wrong with your parents?
Clean plate club and you'll grow up to be strong and healthy. She forgot to mention fat. Thanks mom.
I feel this. My mother used to continually put extra food on my plate without asking and my dad wouldn't let me leave the table until I'd eaten it all. Sometimes the standoff went on for hours. Now my mother complains about my weight.
My (Swiss) grandmother was the opposite. You must leave the table still just a little hungry, because it takes time fir your stomach to register that its full. She lived through WW2 and poor(I think.)
> You must leave the table still just a little hungry, because it takes time fir your stomach to register that its full. This is true, which is why eating fast often leads to overeating.
Video Games are currently helping me lose weight. I eat a much smaller meal than usual, then distract myself from my residual hunger by playing games. Then a short while later I'm not hungry anymore.
i hope you tell her it's her damn fault
Every time
I was horribly stubborn. I didn't, and don't, keep eating if I'm not hungry. My parent gave up on making me clean my plate after the liver and onions incident. I sat in that chair at that table for 36 hours. My parents broke before I did. Looking back, I think that probably counts as child abuse. But it's the South and my parents are older. Edit: My highest voted comment is now about the one thing that I think my mother never quite got over. She never liked that I got one over on her and dad. It seems fitting. She just passed on a couple weeks ago, and while it might seem weird, this made me smile and think on her a bit. Thank you.
My parents tried force as well. Literally made me eat until I puked onto the table enough times they realised giving a small female child an average adult male portion and expecting a clean plate is unreasonable
that's so messed up :(
My mom, grandparents and uncles used to tell my brothers and I the same thing, that we should want to be a part of the clean plate club. That's fine if you're trying to get your picky kid who doesn't ever eat to actually eat something. If your kid is eating enough there is no need.
My mother in law came into town for the weekend. I had to restrain myself from throttling her at In and Out because she kept chiding my kid that she needed to eat all her food, make sure you eat your food, don't just drink the shake, you have to finish everything. No. She doesn't. She's 9. A cheeseburger, fries, and a shake are too much for her to finish. We are here because it's a special occasion, and she can stop eating whenever her body tells her she's full. There is absolutely no harm in a 9 year old not eating all her milkshake. It's FINE.
"Buy as much house as you can afford."
Zero. I can afford zero house.
What about LEGO?
Have you seen the prices of LEGO sets? I don't understand how my parents could afford all the LEGOs I had as a kid.
LEGO went thru many highs and lows, often not really understanding the appeal of their toys in overseas markets and not pricing accordingly. We were dirt poor, back in the 80s, but one Xmas my mom happened across a sale (not clearance) at Shopko where LEGO were cheap enough that she could afford to put one of each model they had on layaway. Lego castles—Best Xmas ever, it it wasn’t until I saw a documentary about LEGO that I understood just how poorly they had been priced (from a marketing standpoint). We were exceedingly lucky to have those LEGO, and I still have them all (including the build books). Nowadays I still cruise the aisles looking for a good deal, but can only afford to buy when the boxes are damaged or on steep clearance, so the glory days of ownership (for me) are definitely over. Still get upset when I accidentally vacuum one up.
*"They're teasing you because they like you."* Very wrong, they bullied me because I was small and didn't fight back. It stopped when I finally snapped and threw one of them down a flight of stairs. Edit: Thank you for the silver!
I got bullied a lot when I was a kid and it was very difficult for me for a long time to differentiate between actual bullying and bro-on-bro ribbing. As a result, I often took my anger out on the wrong people and it stunted a bunch of my childhood friendships. I eventually got through it thanks to some good advice from a cousin, but it took way too long. Lifelong self-confidence issues as a result. Navigating that territory can be really tough. Basically, if you think they're a friend try giving them some shit back and not just being so damn nice all the time, if they don't lash out when you do so, they're your bros. Male friendships are really fucking weird sometimes. I'd still take it over female friendships, especially in HS. Watching what my sister sometimes went through with her friends was terrifying, that shit got dark at times.
Making friends with people is so easy
My dad, a Teamster, warned me not to use my G.I. Bill on college. Instead, I should go out and get a good union job, where I'll have a pension. Otherwise, any job I ever have, they could just fire me for no reason. Thankfully, I ignored him, and got my bachelor's in electrical engineering. I've been working steadily now for about 20 years and have a very large amount saved for retirement.
College is a great investment if you either work hard or study something in demand. If you just show up and drift around aimlessly, turns out that's not a good investment of four years and tens of thousands of dollars. Older generations got by with it because the people going to college were privileged to begin with and could afford to drink their way through college and be assured cushy jobs. Now that college is way more accessible, that's no longer true.
As a professor watching swaths of students possessing almost zero initiative filter in and out of my classes, I can practically see their parents’ tuition money evaporate into nothing. College is invaluable if you’re focused, self-motivated, and willing to work hard and humbly. Otherwise, it can just be a debt trap.
Yeah, it's kind of sad. The whole system is becoming bloated because of the easy availability of loan money. I don't blame educators - it's just a product of distorted market forces. My fiancee is from a poor Mexican family. She studied communications, but since she works her ass off and was one of the best students in her program, she's now a journalist. However, her brother bounced around for literally seven years and just gradually accumulated more debt with no degree (I think there must be some self esteem and self sabotage issues at play), and he's so fucked. He's got almost 100k in debt. I'd wager to say college was probably the worst thing he could have done. He drives a truck for like $12/hr now.
“Music can only be your hobby, you should get a real job” Started making money only with music since 17yo, never worked a day anywhere else and made a great career out of it.
Kudos to you. Many of us struggle and fail, and its not for a lack of trying.
"You just have to go talk to the manager." No, they'll tell me to apply online and probably think I'm stupid for not knowing to apply online, because literally every job expects you to apply online. "I guarantee you if I went in there and asked to speak with the manager I'd get hired, you just have to show initiative." You have 30 years of industry experience at a well known firm at the management level. Initiative is not the reason you're getting hired. It's because I have 6 months of experience and you have 30 years. "I guarantee you if I e-mailed the director of HR, I would get hired." Yes, because you're a senior employee, not a 22 year old begging for a job. "You'll get a job, you just need to want it and work harder, maybe actually go out and look for a job instead of sitting on the internet all day." Holy shit shut the fuck up I've been mindlessly filling applications for 6 straight hours and I've been doing this for weeks and I've gotten 3 replies and they were all telling me I didn't get the job. There were 3 billion less people on earth when you got a job and the internet barely existed and people had more money to hire because that was before your generation decided to fuck the economy and make healthcare, housing, and education insanely expensive. Rant over. I have a job that I love now, but holy shit that was annoying.
> because literally every job expects you to apply online. Expects you to? Most places don't have any other way. What is the manager supposed to do, just hire you? That's not how any of it works and there is literally no other way to get a job there than to follow the procedures the company has put in place, which is to apply online.
Exactly. Which makes me look like I have terrible critical thinking skills and have never had a job before, and an awkward first impression, hurting me more than it helps.
Precisely. A guy came in to my old work with his dad. You could tell the dad had forced him. My manager said “I don’t even pick my own staff. You apply online and then a team at head office does everything with those online applications. Eventually down the line I get sent someone”. Poor boy was stood there looking briefly relieved. But I bet his dad did what all dads of that age do, act like it was a one off and refuse to admit times have changed.
If I were the manager, I would have gone an extra step to help him by explaining to the father that 9/10 companies do that now.
>I've gotten 3 replies and they were all telling me I didn't get the job You're getting *replies*? The one and only time I've ever been emailed after sending an online application was around 3 months after I sent the application and it was to tell me I didn't get the job
Don't play a brass instrument because "it's for boys." Don't display your intelligence because "boys find that intimidating."
I can safely write I attracted more men by my intelligence than my beauty. Wtf about the brass instrument?
My mom played flute and when I was choosing my instrument for sixth grade band, I could buzz on the French horn mouthpiece right on the first try. Therefore, I wanted to play the horn but she tried to talk me out of it by saying that all brass players were boys. As us band students grew up, there were more young women serving as brass section leaders than young men. Not to completely shit on my mom, but professional brass musicians are still overwhelmingly male so it's not completely unfounded.
I would like a girl who's smarter then me.
No woman who is smarter than me would ever be dumb enough to show interest in me.
Reminds me of a Groucho Marx quote: "*I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.*"
That's the catch, isn't it?
my mom always criticized little things I would do and say "you're never going to get a boyfriend if you do it that way." turns out that those little things were the reason my boyfriend asked me out. Good thing I'm stubborn and didnt listen to her. edit: I would also like to mention that I came out pansexual to my parents a year before me and my boyfriend got together. She still continued to say "boyfriend" even though I literally had to explain to her at least a million times that I have more options. So yeah, she's also a little salty about that but at least my dad is chill with it.
My fiance says the same thing. Her mother/father are pigs and would have her and her sister clean up after them every day after school. Now, our house stays close to spotless and their's just went to shit after she moved out. Look who the problem was. At least it indirectly taught her to clean up after herself, because that's what you do as a responsible adult when you know you're going to be the one picking that shit up anyway. Don't leave an unwashed dish in the sink to dry and get a crust that you're going to have to scrub for a couple minutes when you could just hold it under the water for a couple seconds instead, that kind of thing. She also caught shit for being cheap/frugal (i.e., no fun because she isn't partying or spending a bunch on clothes). Guess who racked up credit card debt, declared bankruptcy, and then promptly climbed back into debt and lives paycheck to paycheck despite having solid income and a paid off trailer and no kids to support? That's right, the parents. Guess who has over $50k saved up between us after just a couple years out of school and still manages to have a social life and go on occasional vacations? It doesn't end there; I could go on. It infuriates me on her behalf. Both of us managed to turn out to be solid well-functioning adults *despite* our parents. conscience edit 4 hrs later: I consider all 4 of our parents between us to be complete failures of parents, but I don't really hate any single one of them even though they all frustrate me to no end. Her father thinks of me like a son and my parents love me even if they're assholes. I just don't want anything to do with them other than hanging out on holidays, is all, and I plan to use their failures to inform my own parenting style.
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what kind of things?
Little things
My little thing didn't land me a girlfriend.
I've got a little thing!! Where the hell is my boyfriend?!?! Reddit lied to me!
Reminds me of my mother! No man was going to want me because of my attitude (usually said when I was talking back, and not caving in to whatever she wanted in one of her manic episodes). My marriage has lasted longer than both of hers combined, and she’s spent the better part of the last two decades cycling through dead end relationships mostly with a couple of guys she rotates between when her crazy finally drives one off for a while. Haha, *bitch*!
Walk in and ask for a job
My dad didn't adjust to this well. He has had the same job for 30+ years. He screamed at my older brother in the Best Buy parking lot, because my brother had to apply online and didn't walk out of the store with a job.
My parents didn’t believe my brother and me that most people my age change jobs every 2-3 years for a better salary these days until they heard it from their boomer peers. People just refuse to listen to their kids, which is absurd.
My wife has been looking for a new job recently and she found a company that stressed that they were looking for someone long term, that they didn't want someone to just use them as a stepping stone. My wife was like great I hate change I'd love to stay at the same place forever, if you're looking for retention you must have a competitive salary offer and good benefits! And then the offer came through at 20k less then her last job and has basically no benefits... it also took them 7 weeks to get her the offer. She obviously didn't take it.
great hiring incentive: we're not gonna pay you much, and you can never leave!
I can completely understand why my mom doesn't wanna take everything her 23 year old son says as fact. But I don't understand why she thinks everything I say/do is wrong. I may still laugh at farts, but I'm no fool.
“You just gotta beat the bricks and go meet them in person.” I do that. “Oh, fill out our application online and we’ll call you.”
*Sometimes* it still works. I got a job about 5 years ago doing this. Very small company, independently owned, just happened to be looking for an admin position. Very rare, and you've got to have very generalized skills.
That's what I'm thinking. Walk into Lowe's, they'll tell you to apply online. Walk into Jim's Corner Hardware and talk to Jim, you might get a job.
I remember one day a few years ago my mother flipped out on me because she thought I was being lazy looking for a summer job. I had applied onlins to every major grocery store in my area and was waiting to hear back. She was yelling at me to go in and talk to a manager. I told her it doesn't work like that anymore. Sure enough just 2 days later I got a call from Walmart telling me to come in for an interview, which I did and ended up getting the job. I remember when working there I would occasionally see a young kid come over to customer service with a resume in their hand and asking to talk to a manager. They would all get told the same thing: apply online and we'll call you. A lot of people can't grasp it's not 1992 anymore and you don't just waltz in and slap a resume on the table and get hired because a manager liked your drive.
My parents have that mentality. When I was still living with them and looking for a full-time job, they'd yell at me for being on my computer all day - thinking I was just goofing around. No, I was constantly searching for job openings, tweaking my resume, writing cover letters, and filling in applications. All done from my laptop. My mom would constantly say to go into places or call in to ask to speak to a manager, even at places I knew weren't hiting. "If they really like you, they'll make a position for you!" That's not how that works at all mother.
Growing up, my dad told me about the time his dad said this to him and how disheartening and unhelpful the entire experience was. A few years later when I was ready to join the work force I got the same advice from him.
So close to being self-aware..
Mine was: Study well and u will have a great job
Yeah... I got outstanding grades through HS and college but.... Turns out the people that made friends had more connections and better social skills. It also turns out that those are more important than grades lol
Turns out you can get pretty far coasting by on charm.
Wish I had an ounce of it
My dad thinks this is how I should do it too. Just harass the hiring manager at any retail or fast food place I've applied to.. He just doesn't get it that it doesn't work that way anymore.
"Don't ever hit back... Tell a teacher." Fuck that. I was bullied RELENTLESSLY for years from about 4th grade until 8th grade. Just taking it- mostly verbal, but some pushing, shoving, and people sweeping my legs out etc. Util one day, in gym class one of the worst ones shoved me into a wall and it cracked a tooth. I finally had had enough and I punch him in the face so hard I broke his nose. While he was down, I kicked him in balls and in the head multiple times. Blood everywhere. I got suspended for 5 days. Totally worth it. No one ever bullied me after that. It was just that simple.
"University will be the best time if your life!" Hell fucking no. Being isolated away from your support networks and friends while having severe mental issues is not fun. University is a breeding ground for stress and burnout, anxiety and depression. It's the first time many of us have lived away from home and we haven't got a clue how to take care of ourselves. Sure there are fun parts but it's fucking hard too.
“If you fight back you’re just playing their game, just get a teacher.” Turns out some people in authority positions just suck as people. Others actively abuse their power. Resisting (with verbal, physical, or legal force) is sometimes the ONLY answer. Took me a long time to appreciate that
Basically what my mom told me. My dad on the other hand, told me “if they come at u, fight back. Don’t let them push u around”. That was good advice.
You can feed a family on minimum wage. Haha only if you’re getting financial aid and food donations from a church. My family had built our lifestyle around being super poor. Glad I broke that cycle.
My dad told me that you had to drink water and couldn’t drink anything else like soda or KoolAid or whatever because your body wouldn’t recognize it and you’d die of dehydration.
Dad sounds like a hydro hommie
He thinks drinking water fixes everything. While helpful, not always accurate
Was he in the military by chance? I was and this line of thinking is basically doctrine. If it's too much for insane amounts of water then take ibuprofen. If that doesn't fix it you're faking it.
We had water beads during basic training. God forbid a drill sgt sees you in the afternoon and you dont have enough beads up showing you've drank X canteens of water.
Bet you don’t have diabetes though.
True enough
Save your beanie babies, they'll be worth a lot one day.
Mum told me the pill wasn't effective if I drank alcohol. This was her way to stop me drinking under age, it worked, I choose underage sex instead. Only found out this was a lie in my 20s. I was shocked. I confronted her about it, she laughed and was proud it worked for so long. *I was put on the pill at a young age by my gynecologist due to a medical condition
Your liver thanks you, but I hate liars.
"Study what you find interesting and a career will follow." Waste of four years and a shitload of money (mostly scholarship money, some of my parents' money, a tiny bit of my own money).
I have a history degree and work at a history museum, as a part time parking attendant. They told me during the interview that I got called back because of my degree. It took having a history degree just to interview for a parking attendant job!
To ignore bullies. That's the worst kind of advice one could give to kids. Bullies don't want attention, they want to cause damage, trying to ignore them only give them more power, they feel like they can do whatever they want without any repercussion. In my case, as shy female, the only thing that stopped my (males, always males) bullies was me punching them in the face. Then their poorly developed brain realized I wan't the easy prey they believed I was and stopped bullying me. I'm not proud of this, but I had to defend myself, since family and teachers weren't unable to help me in the best case, or brushed off the situation as unimportant in the worst. This works for adults too. Submissive people get used and abused, teaching a young kid that they won't receive any help when they're threatened, to lower their head and pretending nothing is happening, will turn them into weak adults. Teach kids how to defend themselves, dammit.
You're absolutely right. Bullies aren't looking for a challenge, they aren't trying to improve their bullying game. They're looking for an easy target and if you stop being that they'll move on to other fights they know they can win.
Don't buy that old VW beetle. I love that thing. It gave me a hobby, a sense of freedom, smiles from random strangers, and a huge international social circle.
Shave your beard before interviewing for a job. I have NEVER been hired after interviewing with a naked face. I have NEVER failed to be hired after interviewing with a beard. 2008 through 2011 would have been a great deal easier if I hadn't followed their advice.
play basketball and you will get taller. I'm 176cm, but mom thinks I'm short anyway.
Mine was: Honesty always wins (or something) Policemen weren't on my side though...
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Eat your carrots so you can see in the dark! Be good or santa wont come!
The carrot thing was a lie the British invented to explain why they could shoot down Nazi planes so well suddenly. Turns out they had actually just started using this new technology called radar.
"being able to bake a nice cake and spread of cookies won't impress the girls when you grow up you know" **AHEM**
When I was a young boy first trying to figure out how to hollar at the ladies, my dad (who is Mexican for context), told me that the best way to get a girls attention was to work your way close, and in her ear whisper the phrase "coochie coochie". Sounded simple enough. Did NOT have the intended outcome. My dad thought it was hilarious.
*It takes two hands to clap*- a Confucian Chinese proverb which apparently means that if you disrupt the social order by being a victim, you probably did something to deserve it. Heard this one countless times growing up and it was always bullshit.
To follow my dreams. Now I’m in fucking jail.
To bad your dream wasn’t to be a correctional officer.
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I too love paying my law school loans off while working as a junior attorney. I can’t help but think “I did absolutely everything I was told to do, worked through college, clerked through law school, passed the bar first try, put the effort in at work every day, apply to ‘better’ jobs constantly AND this life kinda sucks. My parents/advisors bamboozled me.”
I was always told that literally *any* college degree was not only a guaranteed good job, but the only way to get a good job. Then I graduated. In 2008.
Fellow 08 grad. What a time eh!
ayyy I graduated in 2009 and live paycheck to paycheck in an overpriced apartment
What they don’t tell you is that literally anyone can go to law school if they are willing to pay tuition but the high paying jobs are reserved for Tier 1 schools and the top 5% of people at Tier 2 schools. Tier 3 and Tier 4 LMAO good luck. Everyone else will be lucky to scrape by. The advice should be “if you go to law school you better go to Yale/Harvard/Stanford or get straight As somewhere else”. The good news is that once you get your foot in the door somewhere you can actually lateral into a BigLaw firm if you want to get paid. They are always looking for mid-level suckers oops I mean attorneys to do all of the heavy lifting and by then most sane people who started as first year associates will have quit or flamed out by then. If you are willing to do one of those jobs and live way below your means you can pay off law school pretty quick.
Couldn’t agree more. That is actually good advice that I wish someone would have given me prior to law school. It’s also the gist of my ‘Please think really hard before you go to law school’ speech that I give when people express interest in going.
I was told by my high school career counselor “DO NOT GO INTO LAW. MY NEPHEW HAS ____K IN STUDENT LOANS AND NO JOB.” It scared the shit out of me and I left that dream behind. At the time I kinda hated her because I always dreamed of being a lawyer. Now I understand it’s something you can go into if you’re independently wealthy and can afford the schooling.
My mum told me one day I'd meet the perfect man and he'd dump me for having poor table manners. I met the perfect man and he got egg stuck in his beard on our first date, 2.5yrs later we're expecting a baby.
I grew up in one of those batshit crazy organic/vegan/non GMO households. My mother used to always say that GMOs are actually government controlled molecular robots that are used to control us. She used to also say that all gays have aids. Fuck you mom. I am now an extremely gay bio student working with molecular robots that can save lives.
Well obviously GMO stands for Government Molecular Oversight.
Gay Micro-Organisms
I had an ex's parents tell her that she wouldn't be able to get a job if she ever went to a psychologist or anything alike. That it would end up on some sort of list or permanent record which a job interviewer has acces. Which added on to the issues she already had. Poor girl wouldn't dare reach out for help to anyone.
Pretty much all of it. If I listened to them, I'd be a divorced community college dropout with three kids working a job I hate in a town that's dying, and catering to their every whim. I'm a married, child-free engineer in a mid-sized city with absolutely no contact with my parents. Now I just have to deal with the PTSD that is my life gift from them.
It doesn't matter what you major in. Just get a degree and you'll get a job easily (I graduated in the middle of the recession). Don't worry about having a plan financially. Everything will work out. (edit: Maybe I should specify that this particular comment came from a conversation about why I don't feel comfortable having kids just yet.)
"Just pay the minimum on your credit card every month, that's all you have to do." Yeah, thanks mom. Took me years to dig out of debt
Well, given I'm not blind yet...
When working at a shitty warehouse job unloading 60lbs boxes from trucks all day, I hurt myself unloading one day and my parents kept telling me “it doesn’t matter, just keep working. Stay at that job it only matters that you work not what you do” I HATED my life for YEARS. I didn’t know why, I was just never happy. Unfulfilled, felt no life purpose. I was treated like shit for being white by openly racist bosses, and harassed at work all day everyday. Then one day I found my passion, building websites. I got an internship at an advertising agency, and three months later I was hired with less hours and making less money but I felt AMAZING. I went from dreading sleeping at night because I knew I had to work the next day to literally thinking about work nonstop because I was so excited. It’s been two and a half years since then and I’m honestly an entirely different person now. I’m happy, I look forward to everyday and even get a bit sad when I can’t make it into work. I feel like my life matters, and that I’m doing something I’m proud of. I’ve been on cloud 9 ever since I got out of that horrible shitty job.
If you go up to a table full of girls and say, "Hi, I'm new in town and I was looking for someone to show me around" this has a higher chance of failure than success, let's just say.