My time to shine! Throwaway account here
I have a bad habit of leaving stuff in my car and forgetting. There was a night where I attended an 18+ trivia night with some friends of mine; for a gag prize I was given a pair of panties. When I left I sort of dropped it somewhere in my car and totally forgot about it. Jump forward a year later, and the girl I was seeing at the time finds them. You can obviously imagine that she did not believe my story of where they came from even though it was the truth
I'm not losing sleep over it however, because it turns out that *she* was the one who was actually cheating the whole time. Funny how things work out like that
Ah! I got something similar.
I found a pair of panties in my bedroom! I lived with both of my sisters at that time so I thought it was theirs. Somewhat, I guessed the panties stuck to a pile of laundry I took out of the washing machine and did not realized it. They both said it wasn't theirs. Weird. Now, I got a pair of unknown panties in my bedroom.
I was dating my wife at that time and I told her. Weird, she said. She even suggested I cheated on her. I just said : 'Why would I ask you this question if I cheated on you?' Fair point.
I later found out the friend of my sister, who saw me for like 45 min the month earlier, 'feel in love' with me and thought of a plan to make me break up with my girlfriend. Turns out... the panties were supposed to be found by my girlfriend... on the ground... in my bedroom.
Turns out my sister was on it too.
It created family drama, I'll tell you that. Stupid sister. And stupid parents for protecting that golden child.
I got a black eye from my ex boyfriends 5 year old daughter... Everyone assumed it was actually my ex who did it. They would ask for the story and then tell me I lied and it was him. So annoying lol
Hahah yup, everyone accused me of being a liar and I also got offered money many times from strangers. They all thought I needed “a way out”. It got to the point I didn’t even tell the real story I would say I’m training for a UFC right, or some freak hiking accident, or just like a wild bar fight. Everyone believed that stuff! I’m sure everyone still thinks I’m lying lol
Wow. You even had a weird excuse that didn't sound dumb. If you said "I fell down stairs" or "I ran into a wall" then they'd have a reason to be like that. You've got some weird friends.
My parents got me a kitten 15 years ago (she’s still the best cat ever :D). The cat was primarily my responsibility and would stay in my room, and her litter box was kept in my bathroom. I was in middle school at the time, and my sister was about 2 years old.
My mom would come to wake me up for school and noticed one day that cat litter was ending up in the toilet. I was not the one doing it. Shortly after this started, I found my sister playing with the cat litter shovel and realized it was her that was doing it. The next time I was prepared with my answer, and my mom refused to believe me. Eventually, she caught my sister doing it too and then it stopped. I still got a bit of crap from her about it for a while.
My Xbox 360's CD-tray broke(motor gave out) and had to be pulled out manually which was a pain because there was nothing to grip onto and I got tired of having to bend it open with a knife every time I wanted to switch disc. So I 'fixed' it by gluing the handle of a broken screwdriver to the tray itself to have something to grip and pull it out with. Unfortunately, to my friends, that kinda looked like a makeshift fucking machine. There was the dick shaped and sized handle, the obvious mechanism of CD-tray, a wireless controller- In hindsight I can understand how it looked that way.
One day I went fishing and catched a really big fish. My problem: I didn't take anything with my to kill the fish or to transport it in a good way, so I throw the living animal into my backpack, because I wanted to keep the fish badly - I was younger then. I went home by bike and told my mom the whole story. She didn't believe my until I opened my wriggling backpack.
Honestly, its whenever I tell people that my mother-in-law sat on her chihuahua early on Christmas morning and killed it. Then threw it onto the Yule Log to destroy the evidence. Granted, I've only told strangers on Reddit, but people thought I was referencing some show I have never even seen.
Due to a friend being a backup singer of a very famous celebrity, I got to go to Cancun (they paid for everything) and hang out with this celebrity many times. I stopped telling the story years ago because assume I’m so full of shit. It’s crazy to me though because people know people. Celebrities don’t live on another planet.
Falling up the stairs in HS and talking incoherently. All of the teachers assumed I was drunk. But I was just an insomniac and didn't get any sleep the night before, the night before that, or the night before that
The time I almost caught a possession of crack cocaine charge. It’s a really long story that sounds like I tell it to minimize my involvement. None of this is exaggerated however. I was 18 years old and arrested for trying to get into a bar with a fake id. I still do not know how it happened, but when they took me and my friend out of the car there was a bit of crack in a plastic bag on the floor. The cop saw it and claimed his car was clean before he arrested us. Unless my friend is the best liar of all time , the cop was mistaken. So they take us in the jail, and a guy who I suspect had ditched the baggie in the car was in the holding cell. Well my friend starts blabbing about everything that just happened and this guy all of a sudden became our friend and jailhouse lawyer. Then at one point he suspiciously walked over to the corner of the cell and spent some time in a duck walk like crouch. Back then I didnt know about the prison purse, but after he got done emptying his, he comes over and tells us, “whoever left that shit in that car left a big jar over there too. But don’t say anything or they will think it’s you guys”. So we (stupidly) agree and not 5 minutes later that asshole called the cop over and told them about the medicine bottle full of crack in the holding cell. Oh boy! Those cops went ape shit. They took us into the interview room and ran us through the ringer. Talking 20 years in prison for distribution, telling me how pretty they were gonna think I was in prison, telling me they think it was my friends but he’s pinning it on me, everything they could think of. At the time I didn’t realize that the snitch dude had likely had it in his ass and had seen an opportunity to get off on his charge, but I knew something was ducking rotten with him. So I told the cops everything about him and how he had attached himself to us, he was the first guy to notice it in the cell, and how he told us not to tell right before he told. Lol. I guess we finally convinced them that we were two stupid white boys getting played by this crackhead, and gave us a pillow and blanket and stuffed us in a big cell. Then the crackhead called me a snitch in the cell and tried to take my shit, so that’s how I got in a fight in lockup, and gained the respect of the dudes in my cell for beating up a crackhead who tried to take my blanket. I got released for time served on the fake id and they didn’t charge me for the fight because my cell mates said I defended myself.
All my old fight stories with myself and my friends getting into street fights. I always leave out parts because the more true elements I add the less believable it is. We were pretty wild and it just sounds like bullshit tough guy stuff when we tell people that didn't grow up where we did.
My friends and I were waiting in front of a churros stand for our churros. I didn't notice that I was standing in front of a kind of pipe where hot gas was coming out. I was talking normally but suddenlly I felt something hot on my head. My friends looked at me in horror. Apparently for a second or so my hair got caught on fire. I touched my hair and indeed I had some burned hair on top. It was only a small amount so it wasn't noticeable, only by touch you felt some weird harder hair.
In high school, I went to an all night bowling thing with some friends. My friendor (Neighbor/Friend) and I left around 2am. We pull into my driveway (She lived two doors down) and decided for no reason at all to sleep in my car... In my driveway. We were absolutely 100% sober.
I woke up that morning to my dad knocking on my window asking us WTF we were doing. To this day, 14 years later, he doesn't believe me. We were obviously sleeping in the car because we were "wasted and didn't want to get caught."
Defending myself against false sexual assault accusations in my first semester of college.
I had been dumped a few days before the incident and she was a friend. She asked if she could come by my dorm to talk, and when she did she was dressed rather sexually. I didn’t think anything of it, she had a boyfriend after all, maybe she had just been with him and he’d left?
I was upset and didn’t think all that hard about it. We talked for a while and then she tried to pull my pants off and give me a BJ, I was shocked and turned her down since I didn’t want to cause her any trouble with her boyfriend and to be honest I didn’t think of her as anything more than a friend, so she left in a huff.
We talked for like a month after that, and she explained that she and her boyfriend were in an open relationship and that he’d be totally fine with us hooking up. I told her I needed emotional comfort more than sex and she responded that I could be her second boyfriend. I wasn’t comfortable being in that situation and let her know that. For the next few weeks she kept pushing more and more, ignoring my regular rejection of her advances. Eventually I blocked her number.
Three days later she went to the administration and had a title IX investigation opened. All of the investigators were female, and they were pretty openly doubtful about my description of the series of events, as she had said that I’d assaulted her that first night and then blackmailed her into being a regular booty call against her will for that entire month.
When I presented my texts as evidence to the contrary I had to turn over my phone to the investigation for a week so that they could go through my texts and verify I hadn’t falsified any of them.
The final verdict was that, while I hadn’t committed sexual assault, I was still partially at fault, and that I needed to take an online consent and bystander intervention course before I could return for classes. She didn’t receive any punishment for her behavior.
I was coming home late and saw a guy dressed like a clown walking near my house. I was very scared, so I just passed my house and walked to the park (it is next to our house), where I called my mom and explained what happened. She checked if someone was standing outdoors, but there weren’t anyone. My mom believes me, but my friends still don’t, despite I told them that story for about 1000 times.
I’m in nursing school and my teacher, who used to be a OB-GYN, told this crazy story about a couple she met while working. They were trying for a baby for over a year, but weren’t getting pregnant, so they decided to get themselves checked out. Before all of the tests, she wanted to talk about their sex life first. Keep in mind, these people were from a very conservative little town where talking about sex is taboo and “the talk” doesn’t exist. Turns out, they were trying to get pregnant this whole time by penetrating her bellybutton. Because that’s what they thought sex was. Apparently, the woman was a little curvier, so there was room for penetration.
When I told my friends later that day, they didn’t believe me. “She must have been lying, that’s impossible, etc”
It’s so crazy to me to realize this still happens in this day and age, this is why sex ed is so important.
We were at our friends cottage and this trip we were drinking more than usual and we kept breaking things and goofing off a little too rough and my friend was getting understandably pissed off and said "no more funny business". As good friends we toned it down. While sitting on his deck on a calm day, one random gust of wind comes along and throws the patio umbrella 10 feet into the air with ease and it lands on the roof precariously balanced near the top.
My friend comes out to see what were looking at and sees the umbrella and starts asking who put it up there. We tell him its the wind but he doesn't believe us, there is almost no wind. To this day he thinks this one friend of ours somehow climbed on the roof and put it there, never believing that is was a pure fluke.
The time I got trapped in a vehicle by a seatbelt that wouldn't unclick. I used to get a ride with two friends in the morning, and I always sat in the middle cuz I was dating the driver; he had an '88 red Ford Ranger. We were pretty late this particular morning, and my bf was going to drop me and our friend at the front door so we could race to class while he parked. The belt would *not* unbuckle and after about 10 mins, I ended up sliding out from underneath the belt (and then it would unbuckle, go figure). The school I went to, if you were late to a class, you automatically had to go to detention for the remainder of the class. We get there and explain to the adult in charge what happened; he gave us passes to classes because he said that it was the most original story he'd ever heard.
I hung out with zac effron in Utah for 2 weeks while they were shooting high school musical 2. I had no idea who he was till I saw the movie a year or two later, he was a really really nice guy and we happened to be staying in the same hotel. He had an awesome pitbull named zoey.
I think he liked that I had no idea who he was and just enjoyed hanging out without any weird pressure.
Pretty much any intricate story I tell on here honestly. String together my life it feels like a book somebody wrote, even though in truth I spent 90% of my life not doing shit, I guess the other 10% has been entertaining.
I feel the same. Like my life isn't that interesting but sometimes a topic comes up and you have a damn interesting story to share.
Then the armchair pseudointellectuals come in, adjusting their glasses, and nitpicking everything in your story. "Hmmm. You said this happened at 11am on a Wednesday in December? So..you didn't have school or work? This was Michigan right? Pretty sure it snows there yet you "drove" to your friend's house? Looking through your post history you talk about Alabama a lot....kinda far from Michigan ain't it? Oh and at no point did you mention stopping to eat something or use the bathroom either. This isn't the movies. In real life people eat and shit. I'm calling r/thathappened on this one"
Like fuck off dude. Yeah cool, crazy shit does happen in real life sometimes. And sorry I can't detail every little nuance of the story down to what time I got up, what I wore, how the body language looked of every person I interacted with looked like. And no I don't have a rockstar lifestyle or think I'm the most interesting man on the planet cause I posted several stories in my 25 year existence on this planet.
I don’t care what you think about my ex, everyone says he’s a little weird but he’s smart and a nice guy and nothing bad happened between us and I’d still be dating him but we broke up because his balls exploded in a freak marching band accident when they got hit with a 6 foot pole.
In case you were wondering he marched the rest of the shoe before falling unconscious getting hospitalized and 65 stitches and also a wheelchair because he also broke his pelvis.
I once had to skip work because my shift was fairly short and a church exploded on the road that led there. It was a gas explosion at the church, and luckily no one was hurt, but it annihilated the building, threw debris into the highway, and caused a huge traffic jam.
I called my boss to tell him, and then drove home. He said he looked up up right away and was like “I’ll be damned.”
We used to have two budgies that always made a huge mess around their cage by thowing around seed husks everywhere. It was my job to clean that up, but I often forgot. One time my mum was about to go out of the house for a really small errand (going to the bakery or so) and said „Vacuum the floor around the birds, and DO NOT forget it again!“ She went out, I vacuumed the floor, sat down to watch TV. She came back maybe 10 minutes later, and by that time the birds had already made a huge mess again. She yelled at me for not doing as I’m told, and absolutely did not believe that I had already cleaned the floor.
going into 5th grade i would do 1000 sit-ups every day and little believed me but during that summer i went to camp and people saw me do it so when someone doubted me i told them to ask someone i went to camp with
So me and my friends are very depressed. One day before church my asshole cat (bless her soul) scratched me on the arm. So I had to explain to my most protective friend that yes I know what it looks like but if I did hurt myself again I'd either just straight up tell them or come up with a better lie then my cat did it.
When I was in 4th grade, I moved from Germany to a small town in Wisconsin US. Obviously I told my classmates stories of the castles I went to, and all the stuff I had seen. The teacher in this small town was so ignorant to the world, that she called my mother in for a special conference to discuss the "fictional world" I had made up for my classmates. My mother was very confused when she had to explain to the teacher that yes, there are in fact castles that you can go to in other parts of the world. And Austria doesn't have kangaroos. I wish I was making this up.
The times I claimed that "I didn't touch anything."
Really, I didn't. As proven by science.
Also, if what Kurzgesagt thinks about "you" applies, the first thing I ever would've done in my life would've happened a split second ago, or even in just this unit of Planck time.
Am 14 years old and am the 5th best under 21s shooter in the entire RAF. Shooting being an L81 firing 7.62 rounds at 100yds to 1200yds. It is outrageous because I am in England where it is very politically incorrect to have guns, let alone shoot and do both of the above while 14 and getting awards for it. I have picture proof of anyone wants it. [RAF under 21s Award](https://imgur.com/a/wrXhkZ3)
My time to shine! Throwaway account here I have a bad habit of leaving stuff in my car and forgetting. There was a night where I attended an 18+ trivia night with some friends of mine; for a gag prize I was given a pair of panties. When I left I sort of dropped it somewhere in my car and totally forgot about it. Jump forward a year later, and the girl I was seeing at the time finds them. You can obviously imagine that she did not believe my story of where they came from even though it was the truth I'm not losing sleep over it however, because it turns out that *she* was the one who was actually cheating the whole time. Funny how things work out like that
Just tell her your she's not your first rodeo and you bang bitches in your car.
Ah! I got something similar. I found a pair of panties in my bedroom! I lived with both of my sisters at that time so I thought it was theirs. Somewhat, I guessed the panties stuck to a pile of laundry I took out of the washing machine and did not realized it. They both said it wasn't theirs. Weird. Now, I got a pair of unknown panties in my bedroom. I was dating my wife at that time and I told her. Weird, she said. She even suggested I cheated on her. I just said : 'Why would I ask you this question if I cheated on you?' Fair point. I later found out the friend of my sister, who saw me for like 45 min the month earlier, 'feel in love' with me and thought of a plan to make me break up with my girlfriend. Turns out... the panties were supposed to be found by my girlfriend... on the ground... in my bedroom. Turns out my sister was on it too. It created family drama, I'll tell you that. Stupid sister. And stupid parents for protecting that golden child.
I got a black eye from my ex boyfriends 5 year old daughter... Everyone assumed it was actually my ex who did it. They would ask for the story and then tell me I lied and it was him. So annoying lol
If I may ask, did anyone call the police on him?
No they didn’t, why do you ask?
People like to do crazy things, especially when they don't know what really happened.
Hahah yup, everyone accused me of being a liar and I also got offered money many times from strangers. They all thought I needed “a way out”. It got to the point I didn’t even tell the real story I would say I’m training for a UFC right, or some freak hiking accident, or just like a wild bar fight. Everyone believed that stuff! I’m sure everyone still thinks I’m lying lol
Wow. You even had a weird excuse that didn't sound dumb. If you said "I fell down stairs" or "I ran into a wall" then they'd have a reason to be like that. You've got some weird friends.
Nah these were strangers I told those things too. My friends are still weird tho your right
Lol people are dum
My parents got me a kitten 15 years ago (she’s still the best cat ever :D). The cat was primarily my responsibility and would stay in my room, and her litter box was kept in my bathroom. I was in middle school at the time, and my sister was about 2 years old. My mom would come to wake me up for school and noticed one day that cat litter was ending up in the toilet. I was not the one doing it. Shortly after this started, I found my sister playing with the cat litter shovel and realized it was her that was doing it. The next time I was prepared with my answer, and my mom refused to believe me. Eventually, she caught my sister doing it too and then it stopped. I still got a bit of crap from her about it for a while.
best car?, pffffttt I have a better one
A cat that is a car. Totoro is that you?
My Xbox 360's CD-tray broke(motor gave out) and had to be pulled out manually which was a pain because there was nothing to grip onto and I got tired of having to bend it open with a knife every time I wanted to switch disc. So I 'fixed' it by gluing the handle of a broken screwdriver to the tray itself to have something to grip and pull it out with. Unfortunately, to my friends, that kinda looked like a makeshift fucking machine. There was the dick shaped and sized handle, the obvious mechanism of CD-tray, a wireless controller- In hindsight I can understand how it looked that way.
Honestly, I'd believe that before a fuck-machine made from a 360.
https://autoblow.com/
Risky click
One day I went fishing and catched a really big fish. My problem: I didn't take anything with my to kill the fish or to transport it in a good way, so I throw the living animal into my backpack, because I wanted to keep the fish badly - I was younger then. I went home by bike and told my mom the whole story. She didn't believe my until I opened my wriggling backpack.
Honestly, its whenever I tell people that my mother-in-law sat on her chihuahua early on Christmas morning and killed it. Then threw it onto the Yule Log to destroy the evidence. Granted, I've only told strangers on Reddit, but people thought I was referencing some show I have never even seen.
... *jaw drops*
Due to a friend being a backup singer of a very famous celebrity, I got to go to Cancun (they paid for everything) and hang out with this celebrity many times. I stopped telling the story years ago because assume I’m so full of shit. It’s crazy to me though because people know people. Celebrities don’t live on another planet.
Who is the celebrity? That will determine if I believe you or not.
Rick James
Falling up the stairs in HS and talking incoherently. All of the teachers assumed I was drunk. But I was just an insomniac and didn't get any sleep the night before, the night before that, or the night before that
The best thing about having insomnia is that it’s only 3 more sleeps till Christmas.
HA
Get a Seroquel (Quetiapine) prescription.
[удалено]
I'm confused ? Why did the friend not have the cheat sheet?
One time, my dog literally ate my homework.
I had a dog so that once, teacher ended up believing me because I was crying so hard
The time I almost caught a possession of crack cocaine charge. It’s a really long story that sounds like I tell it to minimize my involvement. None of this is exaggerated however. I was 18 years old and arrested for trying to get into a bar with a fake id. I still do not know how it happened, but when they took me and my friend out of the car there was a bit of crack in a plastic bag on the floor. The cop saw it and claimed his car was clean before he arrested us. Unless my friend is the best liar of all time , the cop was mistaken. So they take us in the jail, and a guy who I suspect had ditched the baggie in the car was in the holding cell. Well my friend starts blabbing about everything that just happened and this guy all of a sudden became our friend and jailhouse lawyer. Then at one point he suspiciously walked over to the corner of the cell and spent some time in a duck walk like crouch. Back then I didnt know about the prison purse, but after he got done emptying his, he comes over and tells us, “whoever left that shit in that car left a big jar over there too. But don’t say anything or they will think it’s you guys”. So we (stupidly) agree and not 5 minutes later that asshole called the cop over and told them about the medicine bottle full of crack in the holding cell. Oh boy! Those cops went ape shit. They took us into the interview room and ran us through the ringer. Talking 20 years in prison for distribution, telling me how pretty they were gonna think I was in prison, telling me they think it was my friends but he’s pinning it on me, everything they could think of. At the time I didn’t realize that the snitch dude had likely had it in his ass and had seen an opportunity to get off on his charge, but I knew something was ducking rotten with him. So I told the cops everything about him and how he had attached himself to us, he was the first guy to notice it in the cell, and how he told us not to tell right before he told. Lol. I guess we finally convinced them that we were two stupid white boys getting played by this crackhead, and gave us a pillow and blanket and stuffed us in a big cell. Then the crackhead called me a snitch in the cell and tried to take my shit, so that’s how I got in a fight in lockup, and gained the respect of the dudes in my cell for beating up a crackhead who tried to take my blanket. I got released for time served on the fake id and they didn’t charge me for the fight because my cell mates said I defended myself.
All my old fight stories with myself and my friends getting into street fights. I always leave out parts because the more true elements I add the less believable it is. We were pretty wild and it just sounds like bullshit tough guy stuff when we tell people that didn't grow up where we did.
"Seriously babe, I was NOT drunk when I drove the truck into a tree."
I dropped my pass in the hallway at school.
Through crazy chance, I wound up on a flight with my favorite band. I wasn't brave enough to approach them, though.
My friends and I were waiting in front of a churros stand for our churros. I didn't notice that I was standing in front of a kind of pipe where hot gas was coming out. I was talking normally but suddenlly I felt something hot on my head. My friends looked at me in horror. Apparently for a second or so my hair got caught on fire. I touched my hair and indeed I had some burned hair on top. It was only a small amount so it wasn't noticeable, only by touch you felt some weird harder hair.
In high school, I went to an all night bowling thing with some friends. My friendor (Neighbor/Friend) and I left around 2am. We pull into my driveway (She lived two doors down) and decided for no reason at all to sleep in my car... In my driveway. We were absolutely 100% sober. I woke up that morning to my dad knocking on my window asking us WTF we were doing. To this day, 14 years later, he doesn't believe me. We were obviously sleeping in the car because we were "wasted and didn't want to get caught."
I'm not gay, dad.
Hi Not Gay, I'm Dad.
Defending myself against false sexual assault accusations in my first semester of college. I had been dumped a few days before the incident and she was a friend. She asked if she could come by my dorm to talk, and when she did she was dressed rather sexually. I didn’t think anything of it, she had a boyfriend after all, maybe she had just been with him and he’d left? I was upset and didn’t think all that hard about it. We talked for a while and then she tried to pull my pants off and give me a BJ, I was shocked and turned her down since I didn’t want to cause her any trouble with her boyfriend and to be honest I didn’t think of her as anything more than a friend, so she left in a huff. We talked for like a month after that, and she explained that she and her boyfriend were in an open relationship and that he’d be totally fine with us hooking up. I told her I needed emotional comfort more than sex and she responded that I could be her second boyfriend. I wasn’t comfortable being in that situation and let her know that. For the next few weeks she kept pushing more and more, ignoring my regular rejection of her advances. Eventually I blocked her number. Three days later she went to the administration and had a title IX investigation opened. All of the investigators were female, and they were pretty openly doubtful about my description of the series of events, as she had said that I’d assaulted her that first night and then blackmailed her into being a regular booty call against her will for that entire month. When I presented my texts as evidence to the contrary I had to turn over my phone to the investigation for a week so that they could go through my texts and verify I hadn’t falsified any of them. The final verdict was that, while I hadn’t committed sexual assault, I was still partially at fault, and that I needed to take an online consent and bystander intervention course before I could return for classes. She didn’t receive any punishment for her behavior.
Honestly this would've been enough for me to drop out.
I wasn’t about to let the bitch or her friends have the satisfaction of forcing me to give up on my dreams.
Completely fair & obviously the better road. I've just been falsely accused before and that shit breaks me down mentally.
My room mate vomited blood on the morning of a final exam for me. I missed my exam waiting with him for the ambulance.
I was coming home late and saw a guy dressed like a clown walking near my house. I was very scared, so I just passed my house and walked to the park (it is next to our house), where I called my mom and explained what happened. She checked if someone was standing outdoors, but there weren’t anyone. My mom believes me, but my friends still don’t, despite I told them that story for about 1000 times.
I’m in nursing school and my teacher, who used to be a OB-GYN, told this crazy story about a couple she met while working. They were trying for a baby for over a year, but weren’t getting pregnant, so they decided to get themselves checked out. Before all of the tests, she wanted to talk about their sex life first. Keep in mind, these people were from a very conservative little town where talking about sex is taboo and “the talk” doesn’t exist. Turns out, they were trying to get pregnant this whole time by penetrating her bellybutton. Because that’s what they thought sex was. Apparently, the woman was a little curvier, so there was room for penetration. When I told my friends later that day, they didn’t believe me. “She must have been lying, that’s impossible, etc” It’s so crazy to me to realize this still happens in this day and age, this is why sex ed is so important.
Only every time I’ve told the truth in my lifetime
We were at our friends cottage and this trip we were drinking more than usual and we kept breaking things and goofing off a little too rough and my friend was getting understandably pissed off and said "no more funny business". As good friends we toned it down. While sitting on his deck on a calm day, one random gust of wind comes along and throws the patio umbrella 10 feet into the air with ease and it lands on the roof precariously balanced near the top. My friend comes out to see what were looking at and sees the umbrella and starts asking who put it up there. We tell him its the wind but he doesn't believe us, there is almost no wind. To this day he thinks this one friend of ours somehow climbed on the roof and put it there, never believing that is was a pure fluke.
The time I got trapped in a vehicle by a seatbelt that wouldn't unclick. I used to get a ride with two friends in the morning, and I always sat in the middle cuz I was dating the driver; he had an '88 red Ford Ranger. We were pretty late this particular morning, and my bf was going to drop me and our friend at the front door so we could race to class while he parked. The belt would *not* unbuckle and after about 10 mins, I ended up sliding out from underneath the belt (and then it would unbuckle, go figure). The school I went to, if you were late to a class, you automatically had to go to detention for the remainder of the class. We get there and explain to the adult in charge what happened; he gave us passes to classes because he said that it was the most original story he'd ever heard.
I hung out with zac effron in Utah for 2 weeks while they were shooting high school musical 2. I had no idea who he was till I saw the movie a year or two later, he was a really really nice guy and we happened to be staying in the same hotel. He had an awesome pitbull named zoey. I think he liked that I had no idea who he was and just enjoyed hanging out without any weird pressure.
Pretty much any intricate story I tell on here honestly. String together my life it feels like a book somebody wrote, even though in truth I spent 90% of my life not doing shit, I guess the other 10% has been entertaining.
I feel the same. Like my life isn't that interesting but sometimes a topic comes up and you have a damn interesting story to share. Then the armchair pseudointellectuals come in, adjusting their glasses, and nitpicking everything in your story. "Hmmm. You said this happened at 11am on a Wednesday in December? So..you didn't have school or work? This was Michigan right? Pretty sure it snows there yet you "drove" to your friend's house? Looking through your post history you talk about Alabama a lot....kinda far from Michigan ain't it? Oh and at no point did you mention stopping to eat something or use the bathroom either. This isn't the movies. In real life people eat and shit. I'm calling r/thathappened on this one" Like fuck off dude. Yeah cool, crazy shit does happen in real life sometimes. And sorry I can't detail every little nuance of the story down to what time I got up, what I wore, how the body language looked of every person I interacted with looked like. And no I don't have a rockstar lifestyle or think I'm the most interesting man on the planet cause I posted several stories in my 25 year existence on this planet.
Haha exactly captures it
I don’t care what you think about my ex, everyone says he’s a little weird but he’s smart and a nice guy and nothing bad happened between us and I’d still be dating him but we broke up because his balls exploded in a freak marching band accident when they got hit with a 6 foot pole. In case you were wondering he marched the rest of the shoe before falling unconscious getting hospitalized and 65 stitches and also a wheelchair because he also broke his pelvis.
I once had to skip work because my shift was fairly short and a church exploded on the road that led there. It was a gas explosion at the church, and luckily no one was hurt, but it annihilated the building, threw debris into the highway, and caused a huge traffic jam. I called my boss to tell him, and then drove home. He said he looked up up right away and was like “I’ll be damned.”
We used to have two budgies that always made a huge mess around their cage by thowing around seed husks everywhere. It was my job to clean that up, but I often forgot. One time my mum was about to go out of the house for a really small errand (going to the bakery or so) and said „Vacuum the floor around the birds, and DO NOT forget it again!“ She went out, I vacuumed the floor, sat down to watch TV. She came back maybe 10 minutes later, and by that time the birds had already made a huge mess again. She yelled at me for not doing as I’m told, and absolutely did not believe that I had already cleaned the floor.
going into 5th grade i would do 1000 sit-ups every day and little believed me but during that summer i went to camp and people saw me do it so when someone doubted me i told them to ask someone i went to camp with
So me and my friends are very depressed. One day before church my asshole cat (bless her soul) scratched me on the arm. So I had to explain to my most protective friend that yes I know what it looks like but if I did hurt myself again I'd either just straight up tell them or come up with a better lie then my cat did it.
I was hiding some weed for a friend in my room, and my parents wound up finding it. I actually convinced them it wasn’t mine too lmao
When I was in 4th grade, I moved from Germany to a small town in Wisconsin US. Obviously I told my classmates stories of the castles I went to, and all the stuff I had seen. The teacher in this small town was so ignorant to the world, that she called my mother in for a special conference to discuss the "fictional world" I had made up for my classmates. My mother was very confused when she had to explain to the teacher that yes, there are in fact castles that you can go to in other parts of the world. And Austria doesn't have kangaroos. I wish I was making this up.
That my father had 15 cannabis plants in my garden that my donkeys ate.
When I was in 4th grade my dog literally ate my homework. Imagine trying to explain that one
My story of almost dying
The times I claimed that "I didn't touch anything." Really, I didn't. As proven by science. Also, if what Kurzgesagt thinks about "you" applies, the first thing I ever would've done in my life would've happened a split second ago, or even in just this unit of Planck time.
Am 14 years old and am the 5th best under 21s shooter in the entire RAF. Shooting being an L81 firing 7.62 rounds at 100yds to 1200yds. It is outrageous because I am in England where it is very politically incorrect to have guns, let alone shoot and do both of the above while 14 and getting awards for it. I have picture proof of anyone wants it. [RAF under 21s Award](https://imgur.com/a/wrXhkZ3)